The Moth Radio Hour: Rites of Passage

Summary

The Moth Radio Hour: Rites of Passage – Detailed Summary

Release Date: February 18, 2025

Overview

In this evocative episode of The Moth Radio Hour titled "Rites of Passage," host Sarah Austin Janess takes listeners on a transformative journey through personal milestones and pivotal life transitions. Featuring four compelling storytellers from diverse backgrounds, the episode delves into themes of growth, loss, fear, and self-discovery. Each narrative underscores the profound impact of rites of passage in shaping individual identities and destinies.

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1. Jennifer Cohen: Embracing the Empty Nest through Musical Auditions

Story Location: Burlington, Vermont
Timestamp: 02:26 – 06:55

Jennifer Cohen opens her story by reminiscing about her family's tradition of watching "Annie the Musical" during her children's childhood. This shared experience created a whimsical bond and a collective dream of participating in the musical during their empty nest phase.

• Key Moments:

  • The Symbolic Audition: As Jennifer's children leave for college, she experiences profound loneliness. Determined to fill the void, she decides to audition for the local production of Annie at the Flynn Theater. Despite initial fears and a disastrous first audition—marked by awkward dancing and an impassioned but incomplete song performance—Jennifer perseveres.
  • Unexpected Success: Her determination pays off when the director offers her small singing roles. Balancing her grief over the loss of her dog and solitude with the joy of rehearsals, Jennifer finds solace and purpose in the creative process.
  • Opening Night Revelation: On opening night, amidst the performance, Jennifer delivers a powerful line as a homeless woman: "You dirty rats, you bureaucrat. You made us what we are to." This moment of vulnerability and strength results in an emotional reunion with her daughters in the audience, symbolizing healing and reconnection.

• Notable Quote:

  • Jennifer shares, “I thought maybe this would give me something fun,” reflecting her hope to find joy amidst the challenges of empty nesting. (Timestamp: 05:50)

• Conclusion: Jennifer’s journey illustrates how stepping out of one’s comfort zone and embracing new roles can lead to unexpected healing and deeper familial bonds.

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2. Justin Hawkins: Overcoming Lifelong Fear by Learning to Swim

Story Location: Logan, Utah
Timestamp: 07:59 – 17:24

Justin Hawkins recounts his daunting quest to conquer the fear of water by enrolling in swim lessons at the age of 33. His story is a testament to resilience and the transformative power of facing personal fears.

• Key Moments:

  • Facing Childhood Trauma: Justin’s fear of swimming stems from traumatic childhood experiences where he was repeatedly shamed and excluded from swimming activities, leading him to believe that everything was inherently dangerous.
  • Therapeutic Initiative: Encouraged by therapy, Justin decides to tackle his fear head-on by signing up for adult swim classes, overcoming anxiety through each lesson despite being placed in a class with much younger, skilled swimmers.
  • Gradual Progress and Setbacks: Initial lessons are fraught with challenges, including embarrassing moments and physical setbacks. However, inspired by motivational movie speeches and persistent effort, Justin begins to develop swimming techniques.
  • Graduation Day Dilemma: On the final day, faced with a demanding swimming challenge to retrieve a ring from the deep end, Justin grapples with his lingering fear. Choosing to trust his progress, he ultimately succeeds in retrieving his keys, symbolizing his newfound strength and freedom from fear.

• Notable Quote:

  • Reflecting on his achievement, Justin declares, “It was the best feeling to see,” highlighting the emotional triumph of overcoming his fear. (Timestamp: 16:30)

• Conclusion: Justin’s narrative emphasizes the importance of self-improvement, therapeutic support, and the courage to confront and overcome deeply ingrained fears, leading to personal liberation and confidence.

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3. Susan Mwenni: Choosing a Path Beyond Societal Expectations

Story Location: Nairobi, Kenya
Timestamp: 22:54 – 33:48

Susan Mwenni’s heartfelt story explores her struggle with societal and familial expectations to marry and have children, and her journey towards embracing her own desires and autonomy.

• Key Moments:

  • Family Pressures: As the only girl in a family of six, Susan faces intense pressure from her mother and community to conform to traditional roles of marriage and motherhood. Her declaration of disinterest in marriage and children shocks her family and disrupts their expectations.
  • Relationship Challenges: Susan enters a relationship with a man whose values clash with her own desires. Despite deep love, she grapples with the fear of ending the relationship to stay true to herself, leading to heartbreak and eventual separation.
  • Self-Realization and Communication: Through her ordeal, Susan learns the crucial importance of honest communication. Her decision to end the relationship, despite its emotional toll, reinforces her commitment to living authentically.
  • Empowerment and Advocacy: As the founder of a grassroots feminist organization, Susan advocates for women’s rights and personal autonomy, encouraging others to resist societal pressures and prioritize self-honesty for a fulfilling life.

• Notable Quote:

  • In a pivotal moment, Susan states, “I have no desire whatsoever to marry or have children,” underscoring her determination to pursue her own path. (Timestamp: 25:15)

• Conclusion: Susan’s experience underscores the significance of self-empowerment and the courage to defy societal norms in favor of personal fulfillment and authenticity.

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4. James Damick Jr.: The Sacred Ritual of Moose Hunting in Alaska

Story Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Timestamp: 35:05 – 55:48

James Damick Jr. shares his profound connection to Alaskan traditions through the annual moose hunting expedition. His narrative intertwines cultural heritage, personal growth, and the intimate bond between humans and nature.

• Key Moments:

  • Cultural Heritage: James honors his Inupak ancestry, reflecting on the storytelling traditions and the essential role of hunting in sustaining family and community.
  • The Hunting Expedition: Detailing the preparation and execution of the hunt, James conveys the physical and mental challenges faced in the Alaskan wilderness. The anticipation of encountering a moose amidst harsh conditions showcases resilience and deep respect for nature.
  • Unexpected Life Events: During a hunt, James receives news of his friend’s impending fatherhood, adding layers of joy and responsibility to their expedition. This moment bridges personal milestones with traditional practices.
  • Spiritual Connection: The successful hunt is accompanied by natural phenomena like rainbows and northern lights, symbolizing spiritual blessings and the harmonious coexistence with the environment.
  • Community and Legacy: James emphasizes the collective effort and mutual support within the hunting community, ensuring that the meat sustains multiple families through the winter. His reflections highlight the fulfillment derived from upholding ancestral traditions and providing for loved ones.

• Notable Quote:

  • James poignantly shares, “I think about how my ancestors really needed this meat. They needed it,” illustrating the intertwining of survival, culture, and personal identity. (Timestamp: 42:30)

• Conclusion: James’ tale is a tribute to cultural preservation, the sanctity of hunting as a life-sustaining practice, and the enduring bonds formed through shared traditions and mutual respect for nature.

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Final Thoughts

"The Moth Radio Hour: Rites of Passage" masterfully captures the essence of pivotal life transitions through diverse and deeply personal narratives. Each storyteller—from Jennifer’s embrace of an empty nest, Justin’s battle with lifelong fear, Susan’s defiance of societal norms, to James’ honoring of ancestral traditions—illustrates the universal journey of navigating change and growth. The episode serves as a poignant reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the profound ways in which our rites of passage shape our identities and lives.

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Additional Resources

For more stories and to explore the visuals accompanying these narratives, listeners are encouraged to visit themoth.org.

Transcript

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[Sarah Austin Janess]

This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Sarah Austin Jeness in this episode, stories told on Moth stages around the world. We'll bring you to the coast of Kenya, a remote island off Anchorage, Alaska, a stage in Burlington, Vermont and a swimming pool in Logan, Utah. All are stories of rites of passage. Our first storyteller, Jennifer Cohen, shares what it's like to live through the empty nester phase of life. She told this at an open mic Story Islam in Burlington, Vermont, where we partner with Vermont Public Radio. Here's Jennifer Cohen live at the mall.

[Jennifer Cohen]

So when my kids were little, the go to movie to watch when they were sick or it was raining was for some reason Andy the Musical. And I would watch them sitting close together, three pair of bright blue eyes watching Carol Burnett sing Little Girls, Little Girls again and again and again. And I told them, I said, you know when you grow up and you go off to college and I'm all bored and lonely, I think the Flynn Theater should do the musical. Annie And I could be in it because I know all the songs, like, every word. And so this kind of bolstered me into this pretend auditioning for the show that I would do for the kids. When I was in the car or on the beach or in the shower, I would sing Little Girls, Little Girls. And they'd say, getting ready for the show, Mom? Yeah. So it's just like a weird family joke. So the years just went by. And the first one went off to college, and that was horrifying. And the second one went off to college, and that was horrendous. And it was the third one, senior year, and I was sitting at the Flynn Theater in January, and a woman comes to the podium, and she says, I'd like to announce that in the fall we'll be doing the musical Annie. I was like, oh, my God, this is so weird. And right at that moment, my phone rang, and I pulled it out. It was my friend from California, and. And her name was across the screen, and her name is Annie. This is bizarre. And it didn't stop. I went to the grocery store on my way home, and in the checkout aisle, there was this little retrospective of Carol Burnett as Ms. Hannigan. And then this is all within three hours. I got home, and I was exercising. I was watching the show Shameless. And you can check in episode two, season three, they refer to the musical Hannity. So I thought, this is just weird. I'm getting these signs from the universe that I should be in this show or something. So I called the kids, told them, and they said, oh, mom, you gotta do it. You gotta do that real audition now. Like, do it, do it. And I thought, like, you know, being in a musical isn't really my vibe. But I thought, you know, I'm gonna be so devastated once that third one leaves it. I thought maybe this would give me something fun. And, you know, because I'm pretty sure you can't sing, dance, and cry all at the same time, so that could be fun. So I go to the audition, and, you know, it's the Flint Theater, and they're like, you know, kind of serious. Like, you get a number and you got to act, you got to dance, you got to sing. So I go to the acting part, and that one was okay. And then I go to the dancing part, and this lady's up there. It's like, step, ball change, fan kick, pivot, and repeat. And. And it's like, number 212. Like, get your arms right. I'm, like, not getting the arms Right. And I kind of bump into this lady next to me. She's all mad. It was kind of a disaster. So then I go to the singing part, and you would think that 16 years might be long enough to practice that song. But I got up and was like, little girls, little girls. And I was like, free. I didn't know what came next. So I went home and I called the kids and I said, you know, thank you so much for that encouragement, but we're gonna have to think of something else because. And I think those signs from the universe were all about me, like, just pushing myself out of my comfort zone. And I did that, and it was just funny. So good. The next day, the director called and said, we'd like to offer you two small singing roles. I was like, really? Okay. So we started going to the rehearsals, and it worked. You know, I came home from teaching and the home would be all quiet. It was terribly lonely, and I would cry. The dog had even died. It was just horrible. And so, I know it was terrible. But then in the evenings, I would get to go to my rehearsals, and it was goofy and fun. So then the months go by, all the rehearsals are done. It's opening night at the Flynn. It's like, full house. It's gonna be really fun. The orchestra's going and got my weird costume on and everything. And there's this point in the play when I get to come to front and center, like, right in the middle, and the lights are on me, and I just get to, like, belt out this one big line. And I was a homeless woman talking to Herbert Hoover. And here's my line. I said, you dirty rats, you bureaucrat. You made us what we are to. And then I saw three pair of bright blue eyes just watching Amy again. And I thought, oh, all those Science of the Universe. It was just all about this one really nice mom moment that I get to have. Seeing my kids again surprise me. So I got all choked up and filled with tears. But remarkably, I was able to finish my song, because apparently you can sing, dance, and cry all at the same time.

[Sarah Austin Janess]

That was Jennifer Cohen. Jennifer is still living in Vermont, still teaching high school English, still an empty nester, and still missing her daughters. She hasn't been in any more musicals, but when her daughters came home during COVID they bought a golden retriever puppy named Leo for their mom. So Leo is kind of a stand in for the girls now that they're back in college to see photos of Jennifer and Leo and Jennifer on stage in Annie Go to our Radio extras [e-mail] A Rite of Passage is stepping into a new chapter. It can be uncomfortable, it can be a little risky, but sometimes you need to just dive right in. Literally. Justin Hawkins told our next story at a Moth main Stage in Logan, Utah, where we partnered with Utah Public Radio and the Cache Valley center for the Arts. Here's Justin live at the Moth.

[Justin Hawkins]

I stood there in the water waiting for my swim lessons to begin. I was pretty nervous. I started to see parents usher their kids to the pool and then take a seat off to the side. I started looking for my own parents, but they weren't there. Because I was 33 years old, I didn't know how to swim. The week prior, I had stared at my computer screen for like four hours, debating back and forth as to whether I should purchase these swim lessons that I found on Groupon, which I guess if you're going to put your life in somebody's hands, you should do so at a discounted rate. Every moment of indecision that I stared at my computer, I kept reliving these moments of great fear where I almost drowned as a kid, followed by these experiences of failing to learn how to swim, which led to my mom ultimately deciding that swimming was off limits for me. To make matters worse, as a kid, my school would bus to the local YMCA every week for gym and swim class and my mom every week would hand write me a note to shamefully hand to the teacher excusing me from getting into the pool for a fictitious chlorine allergy. Every week I would watch my friends swim and have a good time. And that lasted for like five years until I switched schools. I was pretty set on the fact that going forward I was going to have to scroll through a Rolodex of excuses about why I never wanted to go to the beach or to somebody's pool party. I could have been having a lot of fun. So I had gone 30 years without knowing how to swim. I could probably go another 30. But this was much more than about learning how to swim. For me. I was greatly loved as a kid, but any fundamental growth that I should have had, it was severely stunted by the fact that I grew up in a home with a parent that was mentally unstable and I was led to believe that everything was dangerous, everything came with risk and consequences. If it was thundering and lightning out, me and every one of my siblings, literally every time, had to line up in an entryway in our house just in case the house got struck by lightning and collapsed we were allowed outside to play, but only for a few minutes at a time, just in case we got bit by a bug with a disease or kidnapped like it was bad. And I had to be afraid of so many things, even on the smallest scale of risk. And I ended up missing out on a lot of stuff. The greatest decision I ever made in my life was to start seeing a therapist. And it wasn't until then that I started to give myself a crash course on Life. In my 30s, when I started therapy, my therapist and I came up with a long, long list of everything I had never experienced or done. And swimming was on that list. I didn't need to know how to swim, but I had to conquer this fear in order to put my other anxieties on notice. So I purchased these swim lessons and the teacher was late the first day, which led to a lot of questions from parents and kids. Are you the teacher? The parents asked. No, I'm not the teacher. Just trying to learn how to swim and not be a weirdo about it. Which led to the kids asking me, why don't you know how to swim? And why do you have a beard on your face and your back? I had called prior to this to avoid this very situation because the description on these adult swim classes said ages 12 and up. The voice on the other end of the phone, which clearly was going through puberty, said, relax, don't worry about it. We put like ages with like ages. However, that's based on demand and availability. Well, demand and availability led to me being stuck in a class with a 12 year old, a 13 year old and two 15 year olds. Oh God, kill me now. As soon as these classes started, these kids were first frickin Michael Phelps. They were mer people. Like not beginners at all. The whole first day was a huge disaster for me, which I choked on every ounce of pool water and for the most part I just clung to the side and at the end of the first lesson, one of these kids ran off with my bathing cap. The following week though, I was determined to do better and I was very encouraged by my therapist who told me I needed to see this through. I was also pretty pumped up by the fact that before every swim lesson, right before I got into the pool, I would be binge watching every motivational movie speech I could find on my phone because Goonies never say die. And then oddly, over the course of the next few sessions, I started doing strokes in the pool that I had never done before. And it was coming almost naturally to me. I was Seeing progress in something that I had never seen before. And it felt good. It felt really good. From where I stood, the fear seemed like it was gone, but it wasn't. It was just waiting. Because on the last day, graduation day, the instructor took a ring and tossed it into the deep end of the pool, and everybody had to go down and get it. I started freaking out. Just like a best friend I hadn't seen in a long time, fear. And I picked up right where we left off. I leaned over to the kid next to me, and it's just like, hey, how are you feeling about this, dude? Like, I'm about to shit my pants here. He was 13, by the way. He just looked at me with a blank stare, and he was like, well, my mom said that if we all do it, she's going to get us all pizza afterwards. He dove in and popped right back up with the ring. And it was my turn next. I stared down through the water at the ring and whatever demise waited for me down there. And I was like, you know what? I'm good. I'm good. I'm gonna pass on this. And I went to the instructor, and I was just like, hey, I'm good. I've come further than I ever thought I could with this. And I could be perfectly satisfied to walk away not diving down there. And then, oddly, a couple of the parents off to the side were like, come on, Justin, you got this. And I was like, no, no, I don't want to do this, and this isn't a Disney movie. So I grabbed my towel and I grabbed the keys to my locker, and I told the instructor, thank you so much for everything that you've done for me to get me to this point. And he's like, listen, Justin, don't worry about the ring, okay? It's fine. What you should be worried about is the keys to your locker. And then this jerk grabbed my keys and tossed them into the deep end. I dove in. I could barely see, but I felt those keys, and I bolted straight back up to the surface. Came out of the water unscathed, baptized anew by chlorine. I showed those keys to everybody, and I said a lot of things I probably shouldn't have said in front of those kids. And they all cheered. I can't describe to you the wave of Santa that came over me and the feeling of relief that I had finally slayed this fear. I never told anybody about what I had achieved that day or the awesome pizza party we had afterwards. That summer, I swam in the ocean for the first time. Thank you very much.

[Sarah Austin Janess]

That was just Justin Hawkins when this story took place. Justin was a 30 something living in New York City and working in television. But a few years ago Justin moved to Hollywood to get out of the entertainment industry. Now he and one of his closest friends fabricate furniture together. He still swims and he jumps in the pool without having to think twice about it. To see photos of Justin in the pool, go to themoth.org after our break. A young woman in Nairobi, Kenya goes against the grain when the Moth Radio Hour continues.

[Moth Radio Hour Producer]

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

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[Sarah Austin Janess]

This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Sarah Austin Janess and this episode is all about rites of passage that make us who we are. I met Susan Mwenni, our next storyteller, in Nairobi in a workshop with the Moths Global program where we help advocates use their stories to change the world. And Susan always shows up to her story rehearsals on the back of a motorbike with a leather jacket on. Just to give you a sense of her mojo, she told this story on stage with us in Thailand for an event all about women's rights. And this recording is from a Moth main stage in Washington state where we partnered with Seattle Arts and Lectures. Here's Susan Bueny live at the Moth at Benaroya Hall.

[Susan Mwenni]

I am the only girl in a family of six children. I'm seated across my mom in our tiny, partially lit living area in Kibera, Nairobi, Kenya. And we are having one of our mother daughter talks. I asked her, mom, why do you have six children? And she said, because your father and I were looking for a baby girl. And I asked mom, why is it then that you never stopped after giving birth to me. And she said, because children are a blessing from God, so we accept the number that God gives to us. And I said, well, Mom, I have something that I want to tell you. This is hard for me to say, but I have to tell you. And I said, mom, I have no desire whatsoever to marry or have children. Shocked and devastated, especially this coming from our only daughter. She asked, mweni, why don't you wish to have children? And I said, mom, it is my personal choice. I'm also taking care of my siblings, and the girls I work with in the community are equally my children, and I also want to enjoy my time independently and freely. She looked at me and said, mweni, I hope you eventually change your mind because as a woman it is important to have your own children. Well, I am out of high school and I jump straight into the dating pool, kissing a few frogs here and there. Of course I am human. I might not desire the whole idea of marriage and having children, but the desire for companionship is there. During my escapades, I met my Prince Charming. My ideal type of a perfect man. Stunning looks, amazing personality, great sense of humor and style. Always including me in his plans, both present and future. The most patient, intentional and loving man. He'd buy me flowers, take me out on romantic dinner dates and vacation. And I remember this one Thursday, he called and asked me, babe, what are your plans for the weekend? And I said, babe, you are my plan. And he said, okay, start parking. We'll be spending our weekend together at the coast. Excited, I reminded him, I will also pack the condoms just in case he forgets. Days passed, weeks turned into months, and months into a year. Our love kept growing strong. He became my to go person, my gossip mate and my best friend. But still there was that anxiety and dilemma that I carried deep within me. And I'm thinking, if I tell him, will he end the relationship, will he convince me to change my mind? Or will he love me for me? One year turned into two years. I still can't say it because I know we have different expectations and my expectation will hurt him. Two years. At this time, he had introduced me to his family. Mentions of moving in together and having children dominated most of his conversation. We are strolling around the busy market. He sees cute baby's shoes and baby clothes. He says, babe, I can't wait to buy such for a baby. At the supermarket, he sees baby diapers and he says, babe, I can't wait for the day we'll include baby diapers. In our shopping list, I always found a way to avoid the subject. We're making love. He'll say, babe, I can't wait for the day we'll stop using the condoms. Well, I knew that time will never come. But still, I did not communicate. Not because I was questioning my decision, but because I didn't have the strength to tell him. And I knew it will hurt him. You know, marriage is our cultural norm. And as women, we are expected to marry and have children because it's a belief that that is what defines us. Almost all my friends are married and they have children. And I feel alone in my desire. I've attended several baby showers and bridal showers, and every time they tell me, susan, you should be the next one. I'm now feeling the pressure to conform, not only from my boyfriend, but also from the society. Four years down the line. I can't bring it up. I know at this time it will hurt, and it will hurt deep. One day, my phone rings. It was one of his close friends. I picked up the phone and he said, susan, I have exciting news for you. You know what? Your boyfriend is planning to propose to you on your birthday. This is a surprise. This is a secret. So act surprised when that time comes. Talk of fear and anger. Why would he want to propose? Determined not to let him go down on one knee, I started distancing myself from him. I cut off contact with him, and I did that hoping he'd give up on me and find a partner who aligns with his values. It was not easy for me as well. I felt lonely and I was missing him. And at times I wanted to call him. One month passed, and I thought, oh, my strategy has worked. Two months since my birthday passed. And I thought, oh, he's moved on. Three months later, on a chilly Sunday, I was relaxing in my house, listening to reggae music. I heard a knock at the door. I immediately paused the music, walked towards the door to see who it was, and to my surprise, it was him. For a moment I froze, contemplating whether to let him in or not. I finally decided to let him in. He walked straight to the coach, sat down and requested me to come sit beside him. He reached out for my right hand, held it with both hands, his hands, and told me, babe, I don't know what I've done wrong. Babe, let's talk things out and go back to where we were. All this time, I had not uttered a single word. Looking straight into my eyes, he said, babe, I'm not leaving this place until you tell me what is going on. I told him, babe, I love you. I love you so much. I just didn't know how to say this to you that I have no desire to marry or have children. In disbelief and in tears on his face, he asked in a low but firm voice, why now? Why wait for that long? Why hold such important information that you would have communicated from the start? Susan, you've broken me. I felt crushed and sorry for hurting him. He left until just recently when he reached out to me to inform me that he is in a relationship and is happy. I am so happy for him. And as for me, my stand on being child free and marriage free still remains. But I have decided that I will always communicate from the onset because I don't want to hurt another person the same way I hurt my Prince Charming. Thank you.

[Sarah Austin Janess]

That was Susan Mweni. Susan lives in Nairobi, Kenya. She's the founder of a grassroots feminist organization called Making a Difference Sisters, Mad Sisters for short. These days Susan has a new boyfriend. She says her ex boyfriend has met a new partner too, and everyone is now on the same page about what they want for their futures. Her advice is not to feel pressured by the rites of passage that society may push on you. She says self honesty leads to a happier life. To see photos of Susan with her mom, her nieces and nephews, go to themoth.org after the break. A man makes his yearly journey to a tiny island in Alaska in search of moose when the Moth Radio Hour Continues.

[Moth Radio Hour Producer]

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

[Grun's Representative]

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[Sarah Austin Janess]

Want to consider shopping through Instacart this winter if you like watching snow more than walking in it. Celebrate soup season or own several pairs of fuzzy socks. Because staying home means staying warm and some days just scream delivery. So this season, get everything you need right from the comfort of your robe. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions and terms apply. This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Sarah Austin. Janess We've been producing Moth Nights in Alaska with the Anchorage Concert association once a year for some time now, and this next story is from an Anchorage local. Before we hear the story, here's a little from James Damek Jr. When we talked a short time ago.

[James Damick Jr.]

My new path name is Miller Crook and I'm from above the Arctic Circle in northwest Alaska. And my great grandfather Palangan was one of the last great Inupak storytellers. And he was born before the missionaries came. He never knew English, but he knew all the stories. And as a kid I always knew that my family were storytellers. When we did the Moth in Anchorage, you asked me to do the 12 minutes story and I said, I don't know if I could do that. These it's the winter, it's storming out, it's cold.

[J]

What's the rush?

[James Damick Jr.]

You're in Alaska. And back in the day, some of these stories could take days. You would sit and you would listen and this person would talk and he would tell a story. He said, come back tomorrow and I'll tell you the middle part. Tell the story all day. Come back tomorrow and I'll tell you the ending. You could survive if you paid attention to the right story.

[Sarah Austin Janess]

With that, here's James Damick Jr. Live at the Moth in Anchorage, Alaska.

[J]

I'm at the Kotzebue boat harbor. I'm pushing a boat out into the water. I jump on the bow, I climb in. My hunting partner, John, turns on the boat motor and we're off. Three and a half hours later, into the wild. Off the grid. We're setting up our Arctic oven tent on a heavily wooded island in one of the many braids that make up the Kobuk river delta. It's a perfect spot to set up a moose hunting camp. It's right in the bend of a river. It's on a sandy beach, flat. We set up our tent. We're working we're getting it going. The Inupiaq elders from my area used to say, a long time ago, life was a struggle. It was very hard to live, but the people were fulfilled. And nowadays it's very easy to live and the people are not fulfilled. And I think about that as I struggle setting up the tent and getting things ready. Because we had to get up early. Because to catch a moose, you got to meet the moose on its own terms. You got to get up real early. So we go to bed early. We set up the article. We put wood in the stove when we set up, and we go to bed early. And in the middle of the night, I have to use the bathroom. I go outside the tent, and I'm immediately greeted by a million sparkly diamonds. The full moon was up over the hills and it was making all the ice crystals dance. Because while we were sleeping in that hot tent, a deep freeze had set in. And the once soft sand that we were walking on was now hard as concrete. The thing was frozen. All I can hear is the wind blowing through the trees and the sound of this little waterfall that was flowing off the tundra into the river. And we liked that little waterfall. We picked this camp for that reason. The sounds would mask our sounds in the camp. The sounds of the water falling would mask our sounds. But also, if things got hairy, we'd be close to a fresh source of drinking water in the full moon. I'm looking at it, and it reminds me of all the wolf tracks we found in the sand around this camp that we set up. Lots of wolf track, big wolf tracks. And the locals. I heard from some of the locals there's a super pack in that area. 15 to 30 wolves. In my sleepy brain, I start trying to do the math of just how many teeth and claws 30 wolves would be. So I haul ass back to the tent and get in the tent. I put in a log, try to get a few more minutes of sleep before we have to get up and go look. So we get up super early. I make coffee, I make breakfast. We get ready. We get all our stuff on. We're bundled up. We look like a ditter odd dog mushers. We got headlamps on. We go to leave, it's quiet. We could barely see the moon has going down over this horizon. The sun was not even close to coming up. It was very dark. But we could just barely make out the edges of this little river. I go and kick the anchor to try to get it loose, and it's frozen solid into the sand frozen. I quietly as I could, jostle it loose, put it in the boat real quiet. And we get in, we try to leave. The boat's frozen to the riverbank. It's cold, but hey, no mosquitoes. So we finally rock back and forth. We get the boat going, we get it out. The plan was to slowly putt, putt down this river, real quiet and slow, calling for the moose and trying to catch it. The bull drinking its water in the morning on the riverbank. And when you're driving and you're hunting, there's lots of time to think because you got to be so quiet. And I think about how my ancestors really needed this meat. They needed it. And how for me, it was just kind of a want, because I live in Anchorage now. I think about how I was raised, born and raised in Kotzebue, living off the land, learning from my uncles how to hunt, how to fish, all the tricks to live off the land up north. I think about how when I moved to Anchorage in 96, I felt very disconnected from all of that. We get going, we make a way. We're slowly going. We'd stop once in a while. We'd get out and look. We get up, get up and look around, glass around. We call for the move. Still nothing. We keep going. Still got time to think. I think about how last year me and John went out twice up two different rivers. Spent about a week total and got skunked. All we saw were bears. I don't know, maybe it was too warm. We didn't see anything. So this year we had to get something. In about an hour after slowly going down, we decided to turn around, slowly putt, putt our way back to our hunting camp. And just then, the CB radio went off. John C, do you copy? John? Oh, someone's calling my name. He picked up the VHF radio. He said, go for John. And the voice on the other side said, congratulations, John. You're the proud father of a baby girl. He looked at me stunned, because a week before, him and his wife were down here in Anchorage. They were set to adopt a baby that was taking a long time to come into this world. And the window of opportunity to go hunt was closing. It was getting colder and colder. So it was decided John would go up north and go hunt with me, and his wife would stay here with the baby. John just looked at me stunned and said, holy shit, I'm a girl dad now. And I said, john, it's going to be the best. It's the best. I know a Couple things about being a girl, dad. Because a week prior, my own daughter had just turned 18. So I shake his hand, I slap his back. He's, you know, he's still stunned. And I say, john, now we gotta catch that moose. He said, yeah, yeah, we have to. We're about a half a mile from our camp. The sun is not up yet. It's slowly trying to come up over the Kobuk Valley. There's a meadow to the left. We decide to go stop at it. John makes his moose call. I get out of the boat. I put the anchor in the mud, real quiet. I climb up the steep river bank about 5, 6ft. And on top of this riverbank was the tundra. And it was walled by this spruce trees way back into this meadow. But right at the top of this riverbank were these willows about 3ft high, 3, 4ft high. So I get up onto the riverbank and I stay low. I stay crouched down. I'm on my hands and knees and I'm low, and I feel like one of them wolves. And I slowly lift my head up over the willows and look around towards the back of this meadow. Looking around, I quickly drop back down and I look back at John, and he signals to me quietly, anything. And I squinch my nose. No. This means no in Inupac. No. And we're at this point, we're talking in Navy SEAL type hand signals. So I tell him, I'm going to look one more time. He says, yeah. So I slowly raise up again. I'm on my hands and knees still. I'm down. And I slowly raise up over the willows. And I look back, and that's when I see them two big antlers bobbing over the willow tops, coming towards us about 200 yards away. And I turned back to John, and as quietly and as loudly as I could, I put both thumbs to my head and made the international moose sign. John turned off the boat. He grabbed his rifle. He was the one with the tag. He grabbed his rifle, put on his ear protection. He walked up and I told him, right over here, right over here. So he climbs up and I wait down by the boat. And just a little while later, I hear boom. And I run up there. I run up and I said, john, did you get it? And all he said was, yep. And at that moment, we raised our hands in the air and we screamed. We were so excited. We were so excited to have caught something. We were screaming. We made our sounds. We do in our culture.

[Apple Card Representative]

Oh.

[J]

Oh. We were so happy. But then we realized the work had just begun. You guys know, you know, and all that excitement quickly, okay, here we go. This is where all the glory is carrying that meat back to the boat. So we start field dressing, we start cutting our moose. And in just that moment, it starts snowing. And as soon as it starts snowing, the sun came up slowly over the Kobuk Valley and it was red. And it was making the falling snow look red. And it was beautiful. But at the same time, me and John knew that red sky meant there was a big storm coming. So now we got a ticking clock. We got to get this moose out of here. So we cut it, we're going, we're doing our thing, and we hear a boat pull up on the river. We then we see three guys walking towards us and we say, oh, here's the troopers. He was a game warden. No, it wasn't. Turns out the guy who called on the CB radio and told John that he was a father from the near. He was in the nearby village about an hour and a half away, and he brought two young men, strong young men with him to help carry our meat. That's the Alaskan one. And that was the best feeling, the best feeling to see. They came to help and I said, oh, thank God. And we do. We start doing our thing, we start butchering. And we have so much respect and reverence for this animal. We have all just. We have very. The fanciest game bags from Bass Pro Shop. Brand new tarps, everything brand new. We take care of the meat. There's not one leaf, one little piece of dirt, no nothing on it. We get all these guys help us get all the meat back into the boat, and then they follow us back to our camp to help us break down our camp. And in return, we gave them our. We gave them gas. And they were very excited for this gas because that meant they were able to go by to the other village farther down because there was a very high stakes poker game that they wanted in on. So this gas meant a chance and off they went. And so with about three hours of daylight left, we knew we had to make a three and a half hour boat ride back to Kotzebue with a storm behind us and the setting sun in front of us. So we take off, we get going full boat, and we put the moose head right in the front. And we do that. Where I'm from, because the story is the moose gives itself to us because it wants to see, it wants to go for a ride. It Wants to see the ocean. So we put it in the front and we slowly make our way back. Actually, we weren't going slow. We were going as fast as we could. We were going pretty quick. Three and a half hours is a lot of time to think. And I start thinking about how a human life was just born and how an animal life was just taken and how many. I wonder how many times that's ever happened on this river where two friends have gone out, risked it to bring back meat for their family. I think about the elders and how they say how the struggle makes them feel fulfilled. And in that moment, with every muscle sore, I feel fulfilled. I feel a sense of belonging to the land. And as we make our way back to Kotzebue, we turn the last bend right as the sun is going down and the city lights are reflecting off of the water leading us home. And as soon as I get cell signal, I text my family back in Anchorage and I tell them, sharpen your knives and ulus. Thank you.

[Sarah Austin Janess]

That was James Domic junior. James spends his time fishing, writing, playing music, and he says he's been in full time dad mode recently. James still hunts moose once a year. A Moose can weigh 1,000 pounds. And he says one James Moose feeds six families all winter long with the meat he makes burgers, slow cooked roasts, lots of stews, bone broth and gravy for his family. Here's James again this year.

[James Damick Jr.]

We went out again and it rained and it was windy and it was cold and we saw nothing but cows. We were at the same camp spot we were at last year when I told this story and my buddy looked at me, he said, you want to check our lucky spot? And I climbed back up there just like I did on the first story. And there it was, a young fat bull, big rack, standing broadside towards us. We got the moose this year. Not even 20ft from the one we got last year in the same meadow. What are the odds? Alaska's so big this year. As soon as we got the one this year, a rainbow, bright big rainbow, went from the sky right to where our campsite was. And we were like, whoa. And it started getting feeling real spiritual out there because in the moth story I told last year, three young men came and helped us carry the meat away. Well, one of those young men passed away this year. When I we saw that rainbow, we said, maybe that's Brandon. We got our boat loaded up and we left in the dark putt putting down the river. Full moon, northern lights came out. They started dancing everywhere and we made our way back and I had moose chili last night. It was good. It was a good time. It was delicious. And after you eat, you tell stories.

[Sarah Austin Janess]

That was James Damick Jr. If you've had your own rite of passage, consider telling your story at the Moth. We want to hear from you. That's it for this episode of the Moth Radio Hour. We hope you'll join us next time.

[Moth Radio Hour Producer]

This episode of the Moth Radio Hour was produced by me, Jay Allison and Sarah Austin Janess, who also hosted and directed the stories in the show. Co producer is Vicki Merrick, associate producer Emily Couch. The rest of the Moth leadership team include Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Marina Cluce, Leanne Gulley, Suzanne Rust, Sarah Jane Johnson and Aldi Casa. You can find the extended interview with James Domek Jr. And extras related to all of these stories at themoth.org Special thanks to the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation for their support of the Moth's Global Community program. Moth stories are true, as remembered and affirmed by the Storytellers. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour from Carol Burnett, George Brandel Egloff, Sonny Rollins and Bruce Coburn. We receive funding from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Special thanks to our friends at audacy, including Executive producer Leah Rees Dennis. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story and everything else, go to our website themoth.org.

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