The Moth Radio Hour: The Kindness of Strangers

Summary

Summary of "The Moth Radio Hour: The Kindness of Strangers"

Released on April 17, 2018, "The Moth Radio Hour: The Kindness of Strangers" showcases heartfelt and transformative stories centered around unexpected acts of kindness from individuals who were once strangers. Hosted by Kathryn Burns, the episode features five poignant narratives that illustrate how random gestures can profoundly impact lives.

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1. Laura Zimmerman: Lost in Portugal and Rediscovered by a Stranger

Recorded in St. Paul, Minnesota

Laura Zimmerman recounts her harrowing experience of being lost in Portugal for nine days without modern navigation tools like Google Maps. Amidst the beauty of the country and the challenges of being without essential documents, Laura and her husband faced desperation as their passports and plane tickets were stolen.

Key Points:

• Lost Without Maps: Navigating Portugal without reliable maps led to prolonged wandering.
• Security Measures: Attempting to protect their valuables ironically made them targets for theft.
• A Stranger's Generosity: Maria Theresa Cavallo, a Portuguese mushroom forager, discovered their stolen documents and went to extraordinary lengths to return them, including contacting the U.S. Embassy in the dead of night.

Notable Quote:

"Maria Theresa Cavallo's instinct for generosity and compassion and responsibility for strangers who are not even from her country, who didn't speak her language is the only acceptable model for diplomacy there is." (02:20)

Aftermath: Two decades later, Laura reflects on the lasting gratitude she feels towards Maria Theresa, highlighting the profound impact of a single act of kindness.

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2. David Cole: Mistaken Valentine’s Gifts and Reconnecting Families

Recorded in Houston, Texas

David Cole shares the story of receiving a box of Valentine's gifts intended for someone named Ben. Confused by the misaddressed presents, David and his wife embarked on a mission to locate the rightful recipient, uncovering connections that spanned continents.

Key Points:

• Misdelivered Packages: Gifts sent to "Ben" from Dallas ended up at David's home in Houston.
• International Mystery: Clues led them to Rochdale, England, raising questions about the sender and recipient.
• Journalistic Assistance: A persistent reporter helped bridge the gap, leading to the reunion of the family and the recovery of the intended gifts.

Notable Quote:

"We are not the first people that they have reached out through the media, with questions of peace." (09:26)

Aftermath: David's efforts not only restored the family's cherished items but also fostered an enduring relationship, emphasizing how persistence and community support can resolve even the most perplexing situations.

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3. Denise Schurman: Sending Wishes Alongside Precious Shipments

Recorded in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Denise Schurman opens up about her role in a hospital lab, where she meticulously packages blood samples for in vitro fertilization (IVF) patients. Beyond the technical aspects, Denise developed a personal ritual of sending positive wishes with each shipment, embodying hope and goodwill.

Key Points:

• Attention to Detail: Denise ensures every blood sample is securely and accurately shipped, understanding the stakes for hopeful parents.
• A Personal Mantra: Her silent prayer, "Something really good will come from this," reflects her deep empathy and desire to aid others.
• Unexpected Gratitude: Years later, a grieving mother credits Denise's heartfelt wishes with helping her through infertility and adopting a child, showcasing the unseen ripple effects of kindness.

Notable Quote:

"I had no idea it would mean they would show up as an angel helping me through my darkest day." (24:22)

Aftermath: Denise's simple yet profound gesture underscores the powerful impact of silent support, revealing how small acts can become lifelines for those in desperate circumstances.

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4. Caroline Abilat: Rediscovering Self-Worth After Motherhood

Recorded in Kenya

Caroline Abilat narrates her internal struggle with self-image following the birth of her son. Overwhelmed by physical changes and the pressures of returning to work, Caroline confronts her fears of inadequacy and loss of identity.

Key Points:

• Postpartum Challenges: Navigating the physical and emotional changes after childbirth can lead to a crisis of self-identity.
• The Mirror Moment: Facing her reflection, Caroline experiences a moment of intense self-doubt and panic.
• Finding Strength in Motherhood: The sight of her sleeping son serves as a turning point, helping her reclaim her self-worth and resolve to overcome her fears.

Notable Quote:

"This baby is a baby that everybody would like to have. This baby is of a woman who is so hard working, a woman who's had to learn to make sure that the baby is looking as great as that." (31:14)

Aftermath: Caroline's journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance highlights the empowering effect of parenting and the inherent resilience within individuals to overcome personal crises.

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5. Ed Gavigan: Surviving a Violent Attack and Transforming Anger into Understanding

Recorded in New York City

Ed Gavigan shares the traumatic experience of being ambushed and brutally attacked by gang members intent on murder. Miraculously surviving multiple stab wounds, Ed's path to recovery is fraught with physical pain and emotional turmoil. His encounter with the district attorney pushes him to confront his pain and extend empathy towards his attacker.

Key Points:

• Violent Assault: Ed is targeted by the Latin Kings gang, resulting in severe injuries and near-death.
• Struggle for Healing: Post-attack, Ed grapples with nightmares, physical pain, and a shattered sense of security.
• Courtroom Reconciliation: Compelled to deliver a victim impact statement, Ed chooses to express his pain while also recognizing his attacker as a fellow human, fostering a surprising moment of empathy.

Notable Quote:

"You owe me one. You owe me a favor. Cause one day, you're gonna walk out of prison 10 years early." (37:56)

Aftermath: Ed's willingness to confront his attacker in court and extend a gesture of understanding exemplifies profound personal growth and the transformative power of empathy, even in the aftermath of deep trauma.

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Conclusion

"The Kindness of Strangers" serves as a testament to the extraordinary ways in which ordinary individuals can make lasting differences in each other's lives. From rescuing lost travelers and rectifying misdelivered packages to offering silent support and extending empathy to adversaries, these stories collectively underscore the profound impact of human kindness and connection. Kathryn Burns aptly summarizes the essence of these narratives, reminding listeners of the importance of being each other's angels in the everyday moments that define our shared human experience.

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Key Takeaways:

• Unseen Acts: Many acts of kindness go unnoticed at the time but leave enduring legacies.
• Empathy Across Boundaries: Genuine compassion transcends language, nationality, and even personal trauma.
• Personal Growth Through Giving: Extending kindness not only aids others but also facilitates personal healing and transformation.

The Moth's commitment to showcasing true, live stories continues to inspire and remind us of the inherent goodness that can emerge in the most unexpected circumstances.

Transcript

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[Kathryn Burns]

This is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX and I'm Kathryn Burns. Today we're going to hear stories about the kindness of strangers. Each week, members of the Moth's artistic staff listen to about two hours worth of audio from our live events so we can discuss the stories and decide what to put on this radio show. Over the last few months, I noticed a pattern. We were hearing a lot of stories about someone helping out someone they've never met or being helped themselves. So I decided to put them together in one hour. Our first story was recorded at one of our open mic storytelling competitions in St. Paul, Minnesota. Here's Laura Zimmerman live at the Moth.

[Laura Zimmerman]

When I went to Portugal 20 years ago, it was way before there were Google Maps. We just had these things that were, they were maps. And I don't know, the thing about those maps was that if you didn't already know where you were, they were not helpful at all. So essentially my husband and I were lost in Portugal for nine days. But it was a beautiful country, lovely people, and we had learned the important phrase ham and cheese together on the same bread. And if I can get an affordable sandwich, then it's almost as good as not being lost. But our last stop was to be this national park reserve where there was supposed to be a beautiful view of the ocean. The next morning, we'd fly out, fly home. So we stopped at the park reserve, and the guidebook warned that there were thieves in pickpockets. So I cleverly took all of our items of value, which included some money, passports, plane tickets, and a bottle of vino verde wine, and put them in a green Eddie Bauer shoulder bag and locked them in the trunk of the car. This turned out to be kind of an unintentional courtesy on my part, because then the guy who broke into the car had something to take our valuables away in. So little bit of history. Never a good idea to lose your passport 20 years ago. It was almost as bad to lose your plane tickets. They just gave you one plane ticket. You had to keep track of that one plane ticket. You couldn't go to the kiosk and print a new one because we didn't have kiosks. And if we did have kiosks, they would have used them to sell cigarettes to smoke on the airplane, because that's how different travel was 20 years ago. So this was a really big deal. Making it more complicated was the fact that it was some kind of one of those European holidays where we couldn't get through to the airline. So the police said, go to the airport in the morning, see if someone can help you. But you're probably not going home tomorrow. I was desperate at this point to go home. It is exhausting to be lost and robbed and eating only ham sandwiches for nine days in a row. So this was terrible. So the next morning, bright and early, we go to the check in counter and I say, we don't have our plane tickets. And the agent interrupts me and she says, I think someone found your plane tickets. No one found my plane tickets because they were stolen two hours south of here, possibly east of here, or we were a long way away. But she gets on her walkie and pretty soon there's this big guy in a suit with an airport badge striding toward us through the airport. He is beaming and he's holding a green Eddie Bauer shoulder bag. So this is the story he tells me the day before, in honor of the holiday, a woman had gone mushroom hunting in the national forest. Deep in the woods, she found this bag discarded. The money was gone, the wine was gone, but our plane tickets and our passports were there. She called the airline, and as you know, they weren't answering. So she knew she had to call back the next day. But she noticed that the plane tickets were to New York, and they were for the first thing the next morning. And she knew if she waited, it would be too late to help. So Maria Theresa Cavallo calls the United States Embassy and they are also closed for business. But she finds an emergency number, which I think is supposed to be for when the ambassador's son gets a DUI or something, but she called on our behalf and somehow this woman talked them into tracking down the home address of the airport director. And then at 2 o'clock in the morning, this Portuguese mushroom forager that I'll Never meet drives 40 minutes to a stranger's home to deliver this bag so two lost Americans can find their way home. So I start crying at mushroom and I sob the entire way over the Atlantic or the Pacific or whatever that big one is on that side. And I think, like, how can you repay that kind of kindness? One with a bag of wild rice and some Mall of America magnets. Obviously we sent those. And then two, 20 years later, standing on stage and telling you Maria Theresa Cavallo's instinct for generosity and compassion and responsibility for strangers who are not even from her country, who didn't speak her language is the only acceptable model for diplomacy there is. Thank you.

[Kathryn Burns]

Laura Zimmerman writes books for young people. She says that you might find her at a softball game, a jazz concert, or a non profit board meeting, but you'll never find her on a ladder or entering a triathlon. I ask her if she ever spoke to Marie Theresa again. She wrote the only time we ever talked was a few months after the trip. We'd sent her a little Minnesota care package and a letter we hoped someone would be able to translate. One morning she called out of the blue. Her English was very basic and as you know, my Portuguese was limited to ham and cheese sandwich. She said she was sorry she had not found the bottle of wine we'd lost. And we tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to piece together information about each other. She was either telling me that she was in the Portuguese Parliament or. Or that she liked the band Parliament. Or maybe she smoked parliaments. Even if we had spoken the same language, I don't think I could convey just how grateful I was and still am. Not just that. We got our stuff back. I'm forever grateful to know that there are people in the world who are so clearly good, Outlandishly, irrationally, even if it's inconvenient. Good. That is an amazing gift. Do you have a story about helping out a stranger or being helped out by a stranger? If so, we definitely want to hear it call our pitch line and leave a 2 minute version of a story you'd like to tell. The number to call is 877-799-MOTH or you can pitch us the story right at our website themoth do. Our next storyteller David Cole also came to us from our storyslam series. He told his story in Houston, Texas, where we partner with Houston public media. Here's David Cole live at the moth.

[Apple Representative]

My wife and I are relatively recent transplants to Houston. We moved here from Austin and several years ago when we lived in Austin. We have young kids and she has friends who have young kids and some of her friends lived in Dallas a couple weeks before Christmas. These were close enough friends where we would send presents to their kids and they would send Christmas presents to our kids. And we get the box from her friends in Dallas and we open it up, you know, to get the president's help to put them under the tree. And there's like seven or eight presents in there and they're all addressed to Ben, love grandma. Now, neither of our children are named Ben, and my wife's friend is not grandmother to nobody. So we call her up and we ask her, hey, what's up with the presents addressed to Ben loved grandma? And she says, I have no idea, but I'll get to the bottom of this. So she says she'll go to the post office and figure it out. So I'm thinking to myself, what on earth are they going to know about it? So she goes and comes back and says, well, I went down and asked and turns out they had no idea what happened. So I'm thinking, I know exactly what happened. We've all had some kind of boring jobs and you do what you do to entertain yourself. And so I'm sure someone in the post office decided it would be funny to open up two boxes and just switch the contents. Ha ha ha, very funny. So we put the presents aside and just kind of let it alone. And weeks go by, Christmas comes and goes, and then finally it's getting close to Valentine's day and I'm like, you know, well, crap, we never got the presents for our kids. Feeling a little betrayed here. So I'm like, well, before we go buy Valentine's presents for our kids, let's open these presents up and maybe there's something we can, you know, re gift here. So we open the first couple and they're the normal weird kind of grandma gifts you would think. You're not even sure really what they are open about the third present It's a little stuffed. And I'm finally thinking, okay, that's something we can use. And the fourth president was some pajamas. Like, all right, they're way too big for my son, but you know, he'll grow into them. And the whole time my wife is like, oh, that stuffed bear was for Ben. Ben's not gonna get this stuffed bear. And oh, the pajamas. He's not gonna get the pajamas. And then there are two presents left, and they're kind of the big ones. And we open up the second to last one, it's this sweater, this hand knit sweater. We can tell cause there's no tag. And my wife was like, oh, grandma knit that sweater just for Ben. We've got to find Ben. And I'm thinking, oh, she's crazy. And then we open the last present, the biggest of the bunch. And it's this old blanket with this design of a fire truck. And there's a note, and it says, dear Ben, this is the bedspread that was on your father's bed when he was a son, when he was a boy. And just as it covered and protected him, now it will cover and protect you. And so now even I'm like, well, crap, we gotta find Ben. So we look and all we have are the names Ben and grandma. And that's not a lot to go by. So we kind of keep pouring over. And one of the weird little trinkets, the a weird little grandma gift kind of thing on the back had a sticker that said Spring Hill Hospice. So I do a Google search for Spring Hill Hospice and the only thing I can find even close, there was a Spring Hill Day hospice in this little town called Rochdale in England. And we're like, well, there's no way that's it. This was a box sent to us from Dallas to Austin. I mean, we could see the return address. And my wife looks at the pajamas and she said, you know what? I've never seen this brand of pajamas before. So we do a Google search for that and it turns out it's an English brand of pajamas. So we're like, well, this is really strange. So I'm thinking, well, what can we do here? So I find the Spring Hill Day Hospice website and I email what happened. We took pictures of all the gifts. I email every email address that's on their website. You know, there's maybe 10. I got maybe two responses, both saying, sorry, I don't know what the heck you're talking about. Then of course, you know, Rochdale is a pretty small town. I look it up. It's about 20,000 people. So I figured they have a relatively small newspaper. So I find their website and I email all the editors. None of them are really willing to help. So then I start looking on their website and I start emailing the reporters. And I finally found one email address of this reporter. And she said, all right, I'll run the story. So she runs the story, and I kind of figure, well, we'll see what happens. Weeks go by, I don't hear anything. And then finally I get an email from her, and she said, guess what? I think I found Ben. I sent them your contact information. And sure enough, the next day, I get an email from a guy who lives in Austin. He said, I think you have my box. Can I come by tonight and get it? So he comes by and then he shows there, and he has his son been with him. And he pulls me aside and he says, you cannot imagine how much this means to us. My mom, grandma on the gifts died Dec. 23, and we were just beside ourselves trying to figure out what happened to this package. He said, what ended up happening is at the funeral, a friend of the family overheard me telling someone what happened to the gifts. And she was the one who. Who happened to see the story. And that's how it all came together.

[Kathryn Burns]

David Cole was raised in a small town in Texas. He says that when he's not pretending to be a private detective, he practices tax law in Houston. I ask him if he's kept in touch with Ben's family. He writes, we did. They had us over for a very nice dinner. Shortly after, we connected, and we exchange Christmas cards with him every year. Most importantly, little Ben has his daddy's quilt. Coming up, a man is detained at airport security for the hundredth time when the Moth Radio Hour continues.

[Denise Schuerman]

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and present.

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[Denise Schuerman]

Presented by prx.

[Kathryn Burns]

This is the Moth Radio Hour from prx. I'm Katherine Burns. In this show we're hearing about the kindness of strangers. And our next story was told at one of our open mic story slams in New York where we partner with public radio station wnyc. Here's Nicolo Aid live at the Bronx Museum.

[Nicolo Aid]

Oh, thank you. Thank you. So I've been to Israel about 20 times. My family is from there and last time I went it was last July and it was for my little cousin's wedding. But I'm always nervous when I go to Israel because of security and I suppose I should mention that my family's Palestinian and so you always get stopped when you get to the airport. And this time it wasn't actually going that bad until the second I Stepped out into Ben Gurion Airport and someone just said, step over here. And they stop you several times. And the main stops at the passport check. And they send you off to this kind of room to the side with like a bunch of other Arabs and people who kind of look Araby, like a little like a couple of Indians, like a lost Ethiopian and like one Chinese guy who's just like, damn it, I shouldn't have traveled with Hasan. But when you're there, it's clear everyone speaks Arabic because everyone's Arab there. But no one will speak Arabic. No one wants to be identified. Because the questions they ask you when you're there are, why are you here? What's your family's? Where's your family from? Why are you here? What's their religion? What do you identify as?

[Ed Gavigan]

Arab?

[Nicolo Aid]

What's your race? What's your religion? What's your ID number? What's your uncle's ID number? What's your cousin's ID number? What's your father's ID number? Where are you from? What's your Facebook account? What's your Twitter account? What's your password? And all over and over and over again. Then you get sent back to the room to sit in silence and not speak Arabic. And then someone else calls you in and assures you, this is for your safety. And this person also usually carries a big gun with them. And so you do this again, like, what's your race? What's your ethnicity? Why are you here? And the question they keep asking, and the thing in my heart, which I always kind of think is, how is this protecting anyone? How is this keeping anybody safe? Because the purpose of it really is just to remind you that you're Arab and this is not your country. And then so when you leave the airport, you can drive up this highway that gets up to where my family's village is. And along the highway you can see the wall, the separation wall, which is enormous and there's gun towers every hundred feet. But then I get to my cousins and, you know, it's all good. You eat like your aunts, cook you food, and you kind of forget the place you are in. You're just kind of with family, celebrating a wedding, and then you kind of forget it until you try to drive back to the airport. And the last time, two times ago, when I tried to drive back to the airport, my cousin drove me. And my cousin drives a wheelchair accessible van because my cousin's paralyzed. And he drove me with a van to the airport, which was a terrible idea. Because they just saw two Arabs in a van driving up to the airport and like four men with assault rifles come and separate us out and ask us the questions, what are you here?

[Apple Representative]

Why?

[Nicolo Aid]

It's your race. Why are you? Why are you here? And it's exhausting and it like, weighs on you this way of being stopped. And we fly away and you kind of breathe an audible sigh of relief when you leave the ground and you fly over. And in the. In that flight last July, what they did was somehow on the plane there were a bunch of FBI agents and NYPD agents who were training with Israeli security. And like, the announcement was like, thank you for your service, guys. And I just reminded you of the same policies that are in place there and in place over here. And then you touch down the airport, and I'm thankful to be on those lines, those passport control lines where they stamp your passport and say, welcome home. And they stamp me and my family's passport and they say, step to the side. And that one didn't last as long. The first, you know, Israel, it's like usually like a three hour, four hour wait. This one was like 30 minutes. So, you know, thank God. And so we get out and we get into the cab, we try to get a cab, and the cab driver is Arab, I think he's from Alexandria or something. And he's speaking to us in Arabic.

[Ed Gavigan]

Like, how was your trip? Where are you from?

[Nicolo Aid]

He's like, Palestine. He's like, oh, yeah, cool, cool, cool. I'm from Alexandria. How was the flight? And we said, yeah, not that great. And he's like, yeah, they do their best to treat us like shit. And then, you know when you're driving back from the airport, there's that point where like the kind of road turns and you can see New York look like Emerald City. Do you know what I mean? It just like rises out and we're looking at this as we're kind of silent after. And he just goes, welcome home. Thank you.

[Kathryn Burns]

Nicolo Aid is a writer and director based in New York. He's half of the comedy duo Marino and Nico, whose work has been featured on Funny or Die and Comedy Central. He recently co wrote and directed the plays A Ghost Story Told in the Dark and Room four. Sometimes a stranger can end up saying the perfect thing to you without even realizing it. And our next story is about having someone do something nice for you when you don't even know they're doing it. All the unseen kindnesses of strangers, people who are looking out for you, even if they don't know you at all. The story was told at one of our story slams in Pittsburgh, where we partner with public radio station wesa. Here's Denise Schurman live at the.

[Caroline Abeelot]

Something really good will come from this. I said that to myself while I was raising the box up a little, you know, higher, out of respect, closing my eyes and saying that to myself. Something really good will come from this. Unfortunately, I got caught in the act. One of my co workers had seen me doing my little ritual. She didn't know that's a mantra that I pretty much to this day even use when I'm trying to do something and trying to put my best intentions into it. No, all she saw was me doing my little ritual. And she said, what's going on? Do you have narcolepsy or are you all right? And I said, I was just thinking, I was wishing good things for these patients. I was hoping there's a good outcome for whatever's going to happen. What it was, I was getting ready to ship out some blood for a woman who was in an in vitro fertilization program, which meant she was trying to get pregnant and she was dealing with a doctor in Colorado. And I would usually have about five patients like that per week. But it was always funny because they're not really sick, but they're still patients and they're hyper aware of every aspect of the process. So the first time such a patient would come to me, they'd be like, are you going to be all right shipping this all the way to Colorado, or are you sure it's going to be okay? And I would micromanage every expectation they had. I'd say these are the regulations. Here's how we're going to do it. We're going to put it in a really tight container. We're going to put that in with an absorbent material. We're going to put that inside another container. We're going to put all of that inside another container. We're going to pour some dry ice on it. We're going to put it in another container, seal the box, put the labels on, and you will have seen me do the whole process, at least the first time. And I said, and because this is so precious, this is your day three blood work that you can't get back. We're going to treat it like it's irretrievable, and we're going to keep a spare sample of that in our minus 80 freezer. So if anything goes bad with a shipment, you're not going to have to start your treatments over again for the next six months. And they'd be like, oh, we're so glad. And so a lot of people knew me by name, and they would come into the lab the first time and go, is there a Denise that works here? And sometimes they would come at a less than opportune time. But I'd always stop everything I was doing, and I would tell them everything I wanted to tell them about what they were going to experience as I was shipping their blood across the country. So part of my tradition was I would always, as I was packing up the last part of packing it up, I would put a wish out to the universe. Something good will come from this. And I got caught in the act of doing that. So now there was a lot on the line, But I didn't admit what I was doing. I just said, oh, I'm just making good wishes. Well, over the years, I did run into some of these women I had helped, and it always took me by surprise. One time I was interviewing for something, and the woman said, oh, you helped me. And I never could get pregnant. So I adopted a little boy. And I can't imagine my life without this little boy. And I'm like, wow, thank you. I never get to hear what happens with these people. But now fast forward to maybe three, four years after I'd been doing a lot of IVF shipping, and I had a big change happen in my job. They changed what part of the hospital system I was going to be reporting to, what my day of work would be like. I was very emotionally fragile. I also had lost my husband 6 months before after a long battle with leukemia. So I wasn't the most emotionally strong person on the planet. But I put myself in the care of a bereavement group at Gilda's Club. It was mostly for people who'd lost their spouses. But over the summer, there weren't enough of us to make the group worthwhile. So they also added people who'd lost anybody in their family to cancer. So we had this newly merged group. The group leader asked me, denise, how's it going with the change in your job? And I had a meltdown. I was crying inconsolably. My body is shaking. I'm saying I miss being part of taking care of patients. I miss feeling like my job matters to somebody. I just don't feel like I even belong in the health care system anymore. And the woman sitting next to me at this bereavement group looked at me and she said, are You, Denise from the lab? And I said, yes, I am. And she said, you helped me and my husband so much. She said, the day that I met you, I called my husband on the phone. And I said, even though this whole mailing the blood out every month things sound scary, I think this is something we can do because we have met the most wonderful person. And she said, we now have a son who's nine months old we can't imagine not having in our lives, but he really, truthfully would not be here if you hadn't helped us. And it was on the darkest day of my life that she said that to me. And I'd always thought, I hope something good comes out of this. Either they get pregnant or they find that they want to adopt or something. But I had no idea it would mean they would show up as an angel helping me through my darkest day. So I learned a lot from putting that kind of energy out there. And pretty much every day of my life, I think to myself, something good will come of this. Thank you.

[Kathryn Burns]

Denise Schuerman has worked in a hospital lab for over three decades. She says, I'm retired now, but I'm hoping that at least one of my co workers has carried on the tradition of blessing the boxes before mailing. Our final story before the break was told by Karolin Abilat in a moth community workshop in Kenya that was focused on stories of women and girls. Part of what makes a great moth story is when people are willing to dig deep. I talk about the hard parts of their lives. This story takes place not long after Caroline had a baby, which can be an extremely demanding time. This story was recorded at the very end of the workshop when participants tell their stories to each other. So if the crowd sounds a little quiet, that's why there were only about 20 people in the room.

[J]

It's 7 in the morning trying to get ready to go to work. It's been six months since I've been back to work. I'd taken really, like, a long Matt and to leave. So today is the D day. I have to go back to work. It's been different because I didn't have to do anything. I just had to look after my son. And, well, my son didn't demand anything from me apart from just breastfeeding and cleaning him up. And so I'm in the wardrobe. I'm trying to find something that will not really show the wrong curves but at least will help me to get by. So there's a pile of clothes that I've discarded Because they just don't fit. Everything is wrong. Trying on this, my pants don't fit around the waist. And then I find one stretchy black dress that I wore when I was the early part of my pregnancy. I think, okay, this might actually work. And then, well, I put it on and I move close to the mirror, you know, just to be sure. And there's this strange person in the mirror. And I'm thinking, who is that? Which that person? She has unkempt hair, she has a round face and dull looking eyes. This woman is fat. And I'm thinking, oh my God. Then I start doing all kinds of things to confirm is that me? And then the woman in the mirror, she's doing the same things. And I'm thinking, no, that's not me. That fat woman, that ugly woman, that's on me. You see, before this time, I had been that person that had great hair, I had great shoes. Everybody in my workplace knew that I was that sharp dresser. I was confident, I knew who I was. Every morning I woke up, I knew where I was going to go that day, what I was going to do, who I was going to see. But this woman did not really look like she knew who she was, who she was going to see. She looked like she was stuck in that place. And as I looked at that woman, I recoiled from her. I actually moved away from the mirror because it was scary to see that person. And as I stumbled away from the mirror, the window is open in my room and light is peeling inside the room. But I'm not really seeing the beauty of the light because I'm really reeling towards that dark place of disbelief. I'm like, what am I going to do? What will people say when they see me? Because you see, the image that I'd pushed was the image of this sharp dresser who could be accepted by everyone. You know, be in groups, be chosen to lead, to represent the company. And my boss was really confident about me. Remember I said I knew where I was going, but then now this picture is of a completely different person. So I'm thinking in panic, no, I won't go to work today. I can't go to work. I'm just going to call my boss now and say I'm sick. And then maybe after one week I'll be fine. And I'm moving towards my bed, all thoughts of going to work forgotten. And then I just curl up into a ball and I'm crying because I cannot believe I've let myself become that person in the mirror. I'm asking myself, what is wrong with me? How could I become this woman? And then I'm lying there, consumed with such fear. And then I just turn around and I open my eyes and I see my son. He's sleeping. He's sucking on his finger, which he does a lot when he's sleeping and his cheeks are flushed. He looks healthy. And really such a sense of pride and accomplishment rise in me. And I feel like, no, this child that is sleeping there is not a child of a loser. This baby is a baby that everybody would like to have. This baby is of a woman who is so hard working, a woman who's had to learn to make sure that the baby is looking as great as that, that he's vaccinated, he's fed well, he sleeps well. And without even realizing it, I was up on my feet and I was chanting in my head, I will go to work today. I'll go to work today. Thank you.

[Kathryn Burns]

That was Caroline Abeelot. Caroline works as a program officer at Action Aid Uganda. She writes, Jeremy, my son is now four years old, very charming and such a great little person. This was a story of moving from a place of pain and fear to finding the one thing that I'd done well and would always be proud of. I hope that more women can relate to this story because it was for me, such a moment of triumph from such a dark place in time. What I love most about Caroline's story is that she became a stranger to herself and her challenge was finding a way to show her self kindness. Coming up, a young man is saved by strangers and then gets the chance to pass that kindness on. That's next on the Moth Radio Hour.

[Denise Schuerman]

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by the Public Radio Exchange prx.org.

[Kathryn Burns]

This is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Kathryn Burns. Our final story is from Ed Gavigan. This is a classic Moth story that's an extreme example of the way strangers can affect each other's lives. Here's Ed Gavigan live at the Moth.

[Ed Gavigan]

So when the phone rang that morning, I didn't want to pick it up. I was in a world of pain. I had everything hurt. My body, my head. I was an emotional and a physical wreck. And I looked over at the caller ID and I could see that it was the district attorney's office calling. And so I knew that it was Assistant District Attorney Kennedy calling. And I knew what he was calling about, but I didn't know exactly what he Wanted. He was calling about a case where five guys were in custody for attempted murder. And they were gang members from a gang called the Latin Kings. And they had come in from Brooklyn on the night before Thanksgiving. And their mission was to kill somebody that night as part of an initiation where they were hoping to move up in the management ranks of the gang. Kind of like an outward bound for urban thugs. And you never think that you're going to be the guy whose whole life changes forever because you choose to walk down one side of the street instead of the other side. But as I turned off of Bleecker street to walk down the block that night, I picked the right hand side of the street and I walked into their ambush. And about 15 minutes later, I was being wheeled into the emergency trauma room at St. Vincent's with multiple stab wounds from three different knives. One of them had a 10 inch blade. And the surgeon operated the rest of the night to try and save me. I needed two complete blood transfusions to keep me in place until he could do his work. And I was conscious up until they put me out for the surgery. And I was pretty certain that I was not going to make it. In fact, everybody was so sure that the. There was no way I could live that they gave my case to the homicide detectives, I guess, to save on the paperwork when I eventually died. But they took out organs and they removed about a third of my intestines. And I was on life support. And when I came off of life support, the nurse came in with a clipboard and she wanted to talk to me about my insurance. Well, I was self employed, so I was insurance free. And they let me though. I have a special program at St. Vincent's for people with no insurance, which consisted of a bottle of Percocet and a cane and a bag to put all my crap in. And they said as they pulled out the morphine and the catheter and the chest tubes and the oxygen mask, they said, come back in two weeks. We want to take a look at those stitches. And my mother, who had sat by my bedside for the whole thing, said, you need to come. Come back to Wyoming, where I grew up and where the whole family was. And she goes, we gotta leave this horrible city and, you know, get a plane ticket and just come back and be safe and get out of here. And I agreed. I felt like I could use a little break. And we flew back to Wyoming and my two brothers and my sister were there, and they just could not believe what had transpired. And they Said, you know, what the hell went on? And I said, you know what? I want to tell you this. I want to tell you everything that happened, but I'm so happy to be alive. I feel so lucky. I want to go out into the mountains, all right? Because, you know, we grew up in Wyoming, and we have this camping thing, and I said, let's drive out into the hills, and we'll make a fire on a hill. I'll look at the stars, and I'll tell you what happened. And you can, you know, kind of understand what it was like. So they're like, all right, we'll drive out in the mountains. You can tell us a story in front of a big fire. All right? So my sister gets in her Honda, and she's like, listen, I have to work in the morning, so we gotta take two cars so I can drive back. It's fine. She goes in the Honda with one of my brothers, and I'm with my other brother, and he's got a 1966 GTO. So we're following her driving out at dusk across the prairie into the mountains. And my brother is driving. He's looking over at me, and he's like, man, you look like shit. And I had lost 40 pounds in the hospital. I was looking pretty skeletal, and I was kind of freaking out at every little bump and everything. And he started to cry, and he's like, I can't believe. It was really, like, five guys, three knives, like. And I was like, yeah. But, you know, when I was in college, I was at Notre Dame. I was on the boxing team. So I knocked one guy out, and they arrested him, and he gave up the names of all the other guys who ran away. So there were five guys in jail because I got one and knocked him out. And my brother's like, dude, all right, all right, that's cool. But he couldn't believe that that would be a test of manhood, that three guys with knives would ambush an unarmed guy. And he's looking at me and he's crying, and that was why he didn't see as we came over the hill that my sister had stopped on the road because there was a herd of antelope crossing. And I didn't have a seatbelt on because when we got in the car, I had so many stitches from the stab wounds and the surgery that the seatbelt hurt too much to put on. And he was looking at me. And we hit my sister's car at 60 miles an hour, and I hit my face on the dashboard and I went through the windshield, and I came to about 40 yards down the highway, and I could just smell the burning rubber. And I looked, and I saw the headlights at crazy angles. We'd torn the back off of my sister's car. Both cars were in the ditch. There's broken glass everywhere and hissing radiators. And they're all screaming. And I think I'm dead again. But it hurts so much that I can't imagine that they have this kind of pain after you're dead. And I'm laying there, and they all come running over and they're screwed, screaming and looking down at me. And I look up and we're in the middle. We're an hour from anything. There's no phones, there's no lights, there's no houses. I really had wanted to get out into the woods. And we just stood there. Neither car can drive. And the next car that comes along is a pickup truck. And this guy pulls over. Of course, he sees everything that's going on, calls the state troopers, the highway patrol shows up. Trooper gets out. He comes over. He wants everybody's id. We all give him our driver's license, and he goes, well, I'm not writing any tickets tonight. Y'all have the same last name. You sort this out when you get home, all right? We need to get this guy to the hospital. So they're loading me into the back of this pickup truck, and I'm in. I'm in just. I'm in bad pain. And as my sister and the pickup driver put me in, I hear the trooper saying to my brother at GTO's was a 66. My brother's like, yeah, it had a factory Tri Power carburetor on it. And I'm just like, wyoming, man. All right, can you get me to the hospital? So we drive into Cheyenne. It's an hour. We get to the hospital, and at that time of night, it's Cheyenne. Mainly all they deal with is car accidents. So they bring me in, and the nurse on duty goes, weren't wearing a seatbelt, were you? I'm like, all right. We get up on the thing. She starts to take my shirt off to check my vitals, and she sees stab wounds, surgery scars, staples, hundreds of stitches. She goes, honey, what happened to you? Where did you come from? I'm just like, listen, just stitch up my face. I need to get out of here. All right? Let me get on my way. So I take the next plane back to New York City. I get here, and I've got my appointment with my surgeon that saved my life. I've got to go in and see him now. The last thing that he told me was, stay off your feet and don't take a shower, and I'll see you in two weeks. So I go in to see him, and he is pissed. It's like he's just restored an old English piece of furniture, and I've taken a hammer to it, and he starts looking at me and he says, you know what? If you had had that seatbelt on, you would have ruptured everything inside of you from the impact, and you'd be dead. So you actually saved your own life. I'm like, whatever doesn't kill me just hurts me even more. It's fine. So the surgeon, you know, checks everything out. I'm fine. I've got two black eyes, a broken nose, stitches from my forehead to my brow, my nose, both lips are full of stitches, and I've got broken teeth. He just sends me on my way. And I go back to my apartment and I'm having a hard time. I can't sleep. I've got competing nightmares. I've got. I'm being stabbed. I'm in a car crash. I'm in surgery. I just flew through the windshield. I can't eat. I can't go to the bathroom. I'm oozing pus and intermittent bloody noses. I just cry. I cry and cry. I'm wracked with sobs. I can't. I have no idea what my place on earth is is anymore. Nothing is safe. And then I decided to check my phone messages, right? Because the machine is completely full. I've got 36 messages like.

[Caroline Abeelot]

Beep.

[Ed Gavigan]

This is Bob. I'm here with Ellen. We're waiting for you. You didn't come to the meeting. I'm just. I can't understand. Ed, you know, I really thought this was important to you. I really. I have to say, I'm very annoyed.

[Kathryn Burns]

Beep.

[Ed Gavigan]

Ed. Bob, Ellen had to leave. All right? Now I. We're never going to work again, Okay? I don't understand. Next one. Ed, we've been waiting for the furniture to be delivered. I don't understand what happened. Beep. On and on and on. These people don't even know I've been stabbed. They're just, you know, they were business deals that just. They hadn't been notified. So I'm in a world of hurt, and I find out my van has been towed while I was in the hospital. And then the phone's ringing and it's ADA Kennedy. And. And he wants me to come in and make a victim's impact statement so I can let the criminals know how this has impacted my life. And I don't want to do it. I tell him, I don't have the energy. I'm not interested in it. I want to get on. I want to forget everything that's ever happened to me. I just want to. I have a new chance at life, and I want to go on with it. I don't want to do this. And he tells me that he needs me to do it because it's going to help my case. His case, actually. And he says, what happens is if you don't come in and make this statement, the criminals come in, and people feel sorry for them because These guys were 17, 18 years old, and they're going to see them in handcuffs and scared and little. And they're going to. They're going to feel sorry for them. He said, I want them to hear from the victim's point of view. So I felt like, okay, let me think about this. Okay, I agree. I'll do it. I'll do it for you. And then I think, you know what? I'm gonna be in the courtroom when that guy comes in, and I'll just jump over the rail and strangle him. That'll be great. And then I realize, no, because then I'll be in jail and there'll be four other guys that don't get strangled. So then I think to myself, all right, what I'm gonna do is write down all of my anger and my hurt and express to this punk what he ruined and how he destroyed my business and my health and my sense in the world that you can walk down the street without something bad happening to you. And I really. It was very important to me to communicate that to him. And then as I played it in my mind, I imagined this kid in court sneering back at me like, hey, yeah, yuppie, you got a shitty life now. Well, I have always had a shitty life, and I'm going to have a shitty life going forward. And welcome to your shitty life. Because I don't care about your pain, and I'm not interested in hearing about how things are not working out for you. And I thought to myself, you know what? I don't want to miss the opportunity to communicate with this kid. My rant is one thing, but I'm going to actually get to look him in the eye. And this is a guy whose scars I'll carry for the rest of my life. And I want to communicate. I wanted to change the equation in his head however I could. And so that's how I found myself in court with my cane. And the judge, they bring him in, he's in handcuffs. He doesn't even look old enough to buy cigarettes at the bodega. And the judge asked me if I can, you know, get up and speak. And I get up, and I look at him, and sure enough, I mean, I want to choke the out of him, but I feel sorry for him. I look at him. He's just a little guy. There's no. No family members on his side of the courtroom. And I look at him, and I go, you know, you set out that night to kill somebody that you didn't know. And the sentence for murder, which is what you wanted to do, is 25 years to life in New York. Murder one. I said, but I didn't die. Thanks to the ambulance crew and the skill of a surgeon and my strength and an incredible amount of luck, I'm here. Which means you get to listen to me. And it also means that the maximum you can go to prison for is 15 years for attempted murder. But you set out to kill me. So your intention is What? I think. 25 to life, you should be prepared to deal with. And instead, you're only going to deal with 15 years in prison maximum. And I looked at him, and tears were coming down my eyes. And I was like. I was thinking, how am I gonna say this? I said, you owe me one. You owe me a favor. Cause on one day, you're gonna walk out of prison 10 years early. And he starts to cry, and his hands are cuffed behind his back, and he starts to slam his face down on the table. And I figured I might have got to him. And then I said to him, you know, on the day you walk out of prison, I want you to remember that you have gotten another chance. You're getting 10 years handed to you, just like I got another chance at my life. And I expect you to remember today and to make the best of that chance. And I will, too.

[Kathryn Burns]

That was Ed Gaviga. Ed is working on finding a publisher for his memoir. When I told Ed I was putting this story in an hour about the kindness of strangers, he said, who is a kind stranger in my story? And I said, uh, you are, Ed. That about wraps up this hour. Almost all these stories are about people becoming angels to the people around them. And my own mother believed in angels. She believed in literal, angelic beings that came from a holy place to help us out, but she also felt strongly that it was up to us to be each other's angels here on Earth. And in looking for opportunities to help out strangers, she'd always tell me, remember that you can be someone's angel today. Get to know your neighbors. You never know who's in line in front of you at the grocery store and what's been going on with them. Years later, what she said reminds me of the Moth's daughter deepest values of slowing down and connecting with the people around you. That's it for this episode. We hope you'll join us next time for the Moth Radio Hour.

[Denise Schuerman]

Your host this hour was the Moth's artistic director, Kathryn Burns. Kathryn also directed the stories in the show along with Jennifer Hickson and Larry Rosen. The rest of the Moth directorial staff include Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin, Janess, and Meg Bowles. Production support from Timothy Lou Lee, Lola Okosami, and Jody Powell. The Moth would like to thank the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation for their support of the Moth Community program. Moth Stories Are True is remembered and affirmed by the Storytellers. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour from Madre Deus, Modern Mandolin Quartet, Adrian Legg, Kelly, Joe Phelps and Ben Harper. The Moth is produced for radio by me, Jay Allison with Vicki Merrick at Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. This hour was produced with funds from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Moth Radio Hour is presented by prx. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.