The Moth Radio Hour: The Ties That Bind
Release Date: May 28, 2019
Host: Kathryn Burns

Introduction

In this episode of The Moth Radio Hour, hosted by Kathryn Burns, listeners are treated to a collection of heartfelt and transformative stories centered around the theme "The Ties That Bind." This theme explores the profound connections within families, friendships, and communities, highlighting how these bonds shape our identities and responses to life's challenges.

Sharif El Mekhi: From Revolutionary Roots to Educator

Timestamp: [02:49] – [09:14]

Sharif El Mekhi begins his narrative by delving into his upbringing in a politically charged environment. Born to parents who were active members of the Black Panther Party, Sharif was immersed in a world of activism from a young age.

• Revolutionary Heritage:
  "From early on I knew my parents and teachers had the expectation that I was going to be a revolutionary." ([02:55])

• Influential Figures:
  By age ten, Sharif had met notable activists like Angela Davis and Sonia Sanchez, which solidified his awareness of social justice struggles.

• Life-Altering Event:
  After graduating college on a full scholarship, Sharif experienced a traumatic event where he was shot three times during a friendly football game. This incident forced him to confront his rage and confusion about his revolutionary path.

• Turning Point:
  While recovering, Sharif grappled with his identity and purpose. "I couldn't find any answers as to what to do next." ([07:50])

• Embracing Education:
  Inspired by a program seeking black men to become teachers, Sharif chose to channel his revolutionary spirit into education, becoming a teacher in the same community where he was once a victim of violence.

• Conclusion:
  Sharif reflects on his journey, stating, "My revolution was to be a black man by a blackboard in southwest Philadelphia." ([08:45])

Reflection:
Three decades later, Sharif emphasizes the importance of mentorship and support for young black men, advocating for initiatives like Black Male Educators for Social Justice to foster positive change within communities.

Nishawn Laslie (Benet): A Father's Influence on Resilience

Timestamp: [10:23] – [16:12]

Nishawn Laslie, affectionately known as Benet, shares a poignant story about her father's unwavering support and its impact on her personal triumphs.

• Track Meeting and Reluctance:
  Nishawn recounts her experience running a 400-yard dash, an event she dreaded. Her father’s constant encouragement is a central theme:
  "He's like, 'Go, Vinay, go.'" ([10:40])

• Competitive Moment:
  As the race progresses, Nishawn finds herself neck-and-neck with another runner, embodying her father's repeated affirmations.
  "I can do this. I can do it." ([14:10])

• Emotional Resonance:
  Nishawn shares the heartache of her father's passing in 2008, realizing the depth of his influence only after his death.
  "I lost him when I was 27, and he's not there to repeat those things to me anymore." ([15:10])

• Final Victory:
  Nishawn's unexpected race win serves as a metaphor for the lasting impact of her father's words:
  "Every time I get to a corner and I think I'm not going to make it, I can hear the most beautiful voice in the world saying, 'Go, Vinay, go.'" ([16:00])

Reflection:
Nishawn emphasizes the enduring nature of her father's encouragement, illustrating how foundational familial support can be in overcoming personal and emotional hurdles.

Caitlin McNaughton: Pursuit of a Barbie Amidst Feminism

Timestamp: [19:56] – [24:07]

Caitlin McNaughton narrates her childhood struggle with her parents' feminist beliefs and her desperate desire to own a Barbie doll.

• Parental Dilemma:
  Caitlin's mother, a feminist, believed Barbies promoted unrealistic beauty standards, while her father, a math teacher, supported educational pursuits over consumer desires.
  "Mum, a feminist, thought that they created unrealistic beauty standards for young women." ([20:10])

• Creative Resistance:
  Despite various attempts to divert her, including reading "Lord of the Rings" and engaging in math-based games, Caitlin and her sister remained fixated on acquiring a Barbie.

• Disneyland Triumph:
  The breakthrough comes during a family trip to Disneyland, where Caitlin and her sister successfully obtain Barbie dolls by selecting specific characters, symbolizing a covert victory over their parents' restrictions.
  "We had just orchestrated the Trojan horse of child do." ([23:30])

Reflection:
Caitlin reflects on the complexities of childhood desires versus parental expectations, ultimately acknowledging her parents' intentions to foster independence even as she yearned for conformity through Barbie dolls.

Rebecca Berry: Navigating Grief and Mother-Daughter Bonds

Timestamp: [24:41] – [35:32]

Rebecca Berry shares a deeply personal story about her mother's battle with kidney failure and the evolving nature of their relationship amidst impending loss.

• Enduring Worries:
  Rebecca discusses her chronic anxiety over her mother's health, juxtaposed with her mother's seemingly carefree and resilient demeanor.
  "I'm a worrier. I worry about my kids. I worry about my husband. I worry about the planet." ([25:00])

• Critical Diagnosis:
  The revelation of her mother's kidney failure marks a turning point, intensifying Rebecca's fears and leading to a strained moment with her nine-year-old son, Dawson.
  "I just can't handle it." ([31:30])

• Emotional Breakdown:
  In a moment of vulnerability, Rebecca confronts her son about his fears, leading to a mutual expression of grief and a deeper understanding of their shared sorrow.

• Transformation Through Support:
  Weekly drives to dialysis sessions become a conduit for transforming their relationship, fostering open communication and mutual support.
  "We got to know each other much better as women." ([34:00])

Reflection:
Rebecca emphasizes the healing power of presence and communication in familial relationships, illustrating how facing mortality can strengthen bonds and redefine familial roles.

Warren Coleman: Breaking Generational Emotional Barriers

Timestamp: [37:23] – [53:40]

Warren Coleman recounts his upbringing with parents who eschewed physical affection and how this influenced his own approach to parenting and emotional expression.

• Aloof Upbringing:
  Warren describes his mother's belief that physical affection made children "soft" and "dependent," leading to an emotionally distant household.
  "She believed that holding babies makes them soft, it makes them weak and it makes them dependent." ([40:10])

• Desire for Warmth:
  As Warren matured, he longed for the warmth and tenderness he never received, impacting his interactions and relationships.
  "I had a lot of trouble with hugs and kisses. A lot of embarrassing moments, a lot of awkward moments." ([42:50])

• Paternal Influence:
  His father's stoic welcome after returning from World War II mirrored the emotional restraint prevalent in Warren's family.
  "There were no hugs, there were no kisses, no nothing." ([40:50])

• Confronting the Past:
  Warren shares a transformative experience with a friend named Charles during the AIDS epidemic, highlighting the profound impact of human connection and compassion.
  "I know what I believe. I'll always believe that it has something to do... with the healing power of human touch." ([53:30])

Reflection:
Warren's story underscores the importance of overcoming generational emotional barriers, demonstrating how meaningful human connections can heal longstanding familial and personal wounds.

Conclusion

The Ties That Bind episode of The Moth Radio Hour offers a rich tapestry of narratives that explore the complexities of familial and communal bonds. Through stories of resilience, love, struggle, and transformation, listeners gain insight into how these ties shape our identities and responses to life's adversities. Each storyteller provides a unique perspective on the enduring power of connection, emphasizing that our relationships are both our anchors and our inspirations.

For more stories and information, visit themoth.org.