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The Moth
The Moth Radio Hour: Two Weddings and a Prison Break
00:57:12
Writer and bon vivant, Simon Doonan, sets out on a mission to fulfill a childhood desire; a secret finally catches up with a suburban housewife and mother; a college drop out finds himself in the unlikeliest of places and a young woman sets out to sabotage the wedding of the man she loves.
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- [00:00]
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Meg Bowles
From PRX this is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Meg Boles from the Moth's artistic team and I'll be your host this time. At the Moth, we provide a microphone and invite people to take the stage to share their stories. We produce Moth shows all over the country and today we bring you four stories from those stages. We have a story about a woman who kept an unimaginable secret from friends and family for 32 years. One man's true Hollywood rags to riches stories and a girl's plot to sabotage the wedding of the man she loved. And our first story from Simon Doonan. Simon told this story at the great hall of the Cooper Union in New York at an evening we called Heart of Stories of Love and War. Here's Simon live at the mall.
- [03:06]
Simon Doonan
Let's get this down to Gary Coleman Height. My parents were both runaways. Yes, Both of them ran away from home. My mother was born in rural Northern Ireland and her dad was like a raving drunk. And her mother was a religious maniac. And I'm not trying to stereotype the Irish or anything. And her brother was in and out of prison. You get the picture. When she was 13, she left school because that's when everybody left school. And she got a fabulous job at a pork butcher. So There she is, 13 years old, cutting the giblets and genitals and ears off pigs and standing in animal feces and thinking, there has to be something better than this. So war broke out, and she threw some nylons and a lipstick in her little purse, and she ran away from home and joined the Royal Air Force. So then there's my dad, who actually, his circumstances were more dire than my mother's. His father was an astrologer. And one day he got up, found a gun and shot himself. So that plunged the family into poverty. And my grandmother started to hear voices. She started to display all the signs of terrible mental illness. And his brother started to go crazy, too. So age 15, my father, he ran away from home. So he also ran away from home, and he joined the Royal Air Force. So there's my mom in the Royal Air Force, like Rosie the Riveter, you know, and there's my dad. But they don't meet. They don't meet until the end of the war. And at the end of the war, there were these weird, terrible homes and soup kitchens for displaced military people who had nowhere to go. And I think the end of the war, my parents weren't sure, like, okay, we ran away from home. Should we go back? Or what's the deal? So they were kind of trying to figure it out. And my dad was hanging out in this soup kitchen called Sandy's Home. And one day this chick walks in in red, tomato red suede platform shoes, and she had fabulous legs, which I've inherited. And she. She walked in and my dad thought, okay, that's the. The one. Two months later, my mom and dad went to the registry office where you could get married. You get a little marriage certificate. Two months after meeting, they go to the registry office, get their little certificate, and then they go next door to the pub for a celebration. And they got thoroughly Smashed, you know, so they got thoroughly smashed and they lost their marriage certificate. So for my entire childhood, for the rest of their married lives, which was until they died, they never had a wedding anniversary. And they thought this was terribly amusing. You know, we don't celebrate wedding anniversaries. You can't remember when because we were so drunk. So. So as a little child, I didn't think it was so amusing. I wanted that white bound album of wedding pictures with a coach and horses with white plumes on and zhush. And I wanted a sense of occasion. I wanted. So, you know, I was already watching Busby Berkeley movies and Shirley Temple movies. And, you know, I was so jealous of her tap dancing with, like, ringlets. And, you know, I already was an aspirant, a gay aspirant, like, dying for zhush, for theatricality, for a sense of occasion. So my expectations had nothing to do with the reality in our house. Especially because for some reason, my parents decided that once they were settled, they would move in all the relatives into our house that they'd escaped when they were younger. So in comes my grandmother, who by this time had had a lobotomy. Yes, few chuckles there. Not sure why, but so grandma moves in post lobotomy. My poor Uncle Ken, who was also paranoid schizophrenic, moved in. My blind Auntie Phyllis moved in. So this, they were creating what they were creating. I wanted the Partridge Family. And they were around me was the Addams Family, the Munsters. So it just was not going in the direction that I had in mind. And so things reached a breaking point when one day, my Uncle Ken, he was such a lovely person, but crazy, completely schizophrenic. He said he was going to get himself a girlfriend. So he got up from the dinner table, walked down the street to the biscuit factory, which was down the street. And every Thursday night, they had a glee club. And at this glee club on that night, he met this benevolent divorcee, this pink cheeked, benevolent lady, and he married her. So I thought, great, finally a wedding. Some zhush, A sense of occasion. So let me describe this wedding. The guests arrived on town buses. And not because it was chic or avant garde or very reverse chic or anything like that, just because they arrived on town buses. There were Ritz crackers on paper plates and apple juice because she was teetotal. And, you know, every expense was spared. So I vowed that when I got married, when I grew up, there would be dry ice and white elephants and zhush and carriages, and it would be Like Siegfried and Roy meets Liberace. I vowed that when I got married, there would be a sense of occasion. Cut to 1994. I'm living in New York City and a friend sets me up on a blind date. And at this blind date, I meet the love of my life, Jonathan Adler. So he wasn't wearing red suede platform shoes, but he did have really cute eyes and eyebrows. And I looked at him and I thought, he's the one. And if we could have gotten married two months after meeting, we would have done. Except back then, in 1994, no one really talked about marriage. Gay people didn't talk about marriage. It wasn't part of. It wasn't the mod du jour the way it is now. But we were, you know, there was no shortage of marriages going on around us because Johnny had been to Brown University with all these highly strung, hotsy, totsy, fancy New York girls, and they were having these weddings that you just can't believe. Like, you know, hollowing out Rockefeller center and having the wedding in the ice rink and, you know, these unbelievable fancy weddings. Every weekend we were going to another one. Of course, I was in a rage, in a jealous snit the whole time going to these weddings, which, you know, had such a pronounced sense of occasion. So then, 2008, suddenly gay marriage is legal in California, and Jonathan and I are both scheduled to be there in September. So we thought, oh, my God, let's get married. Why not? So when people heard we were getting married, of course, not without justification, they thought, well, they'll have the blowout of all time. You know, the fashion icon, that's stretching it a bit, but Mary's design czar, you know, what's this going to be like? It's going to be just the most incredible wedding. So here's how it went down. On a sunny September morning, we went to City hall in San Francisco, and there was a long line of lesbians coming out of City Hall. One or two of them were wearing softball uniforms. Some of them had, like, one thing I noticed. Several had, like large butterflies tattooed on their calves. That was a light motif. And it was a very jolly, joyous group of people. Not so many gay men mostly, as I say, a long line of lesbians. And we were joined by my future mother in law, Cynthia, and my future sister in law, Amy. And they were online with us. And the lesbians ahead of us, of course, mistook them for a May December romance and thought that they were going to get married, which, you know, caused many chuckles as you can imagine. So we went in, got our little piece of paper, got our marriage certificate and and then we went to Jonathan's store of course, and I started re merchandising and Johnny was sort of rearranging the furniture and we were plumping pillows and chatting to the salespeople who were profoundly shocked that this is what we'd elected to do on our wedding day. We were re merchandising his store. So they said you have to go for lunch, just go and have a nice lunch. And they sent us to this very esoteric San Francisco eatery down the street where of course they were serving like pig's ears and giblets and you know, a pancreas or two with some kidneys. It was that kind of locavore, locally harvested, demented San Francisco food. And I couldn't help thinking what my mother, how amused my mother would have been to see us because she's long since passed away, but to see us sitting there eating couture giblets, you know, all the things she'd longed to escape when she was dreaming of becoming Lana Turner and getting away from the pig abattoir. So after this tasty lunch we went back to our hotel where the locally harvested rabbi was waiting for us. Yeah, my assistant, through a gay nun that he knew in San Francisco had located a gay friendly rabbi. So this very nice rabbi was waiting for us in the hotel room to perform the actual ceremony. And he was a very genial guy. We had a short, very nice ceremony. Quite poetic. There was one slightly jarring moment when Johnny took it in his head to ask the rabbi if he could wrap me in a napkin and stamp on me. And the rabbi found this rather alarming. So we had a lovely ceremony with Johnny's mother and sister present my new relatives, my new in laws. And then there's a knock at the door, in comes room service with this gorgeous little cake which Jonathan's mother had ordered. And on the top of the cake were these two little figurines, you know the kind they sort of look like Rock Hudson or Mitt Romney. You know, like they look like little televangelists in tuxedos. So I look at these poignant little plastic figurines in their spiffy little 50s outfits. And then I looked at me and Johnny and what we were wearing, what were we wearing? We had pretty much replicated my parents wedding and we were wearing what we had on. I had some old sport coat on, he had a lacoste shirt, I had jeans on. We wore what we had on. And I thought about my parents and they'd stayed married for 60 years and slept. I slept in this tiny little bed. And I thought about my dear Uncle Ken and his incredibly difficult life. And he had stayed with his wife for all that time. And then I thought about all the girls from Brown who we knew who were now filing for divorce. And seriously. And I thought, you know, if it's the right person, you really don't need the Zhoshua. Why be formal when you can be fabulously feral? Why be conventional when you can be happy? Thank you.
- [17:31]
Meg Bowles
That was Simon Doonan. Simon is a writer and bon vivant as well as the creative ambassador of Barneys New York. He recently sat down with the Moth's artistic director, Catherine Burns to talk more about love life and marriage. Is life different now that you're married? Do you think being married really feels different?
- [17:48]
Simon Doonan
I'm very pro marriage. I'm not sure about weddings, but I think marriage is great. People are like socks. They're meant to be the two pair, they're meant to find another pair of socks don't do well when they're on their own. Marriage is great. It's good for people. I think it's what we're kind of programmed to do. But then weddings I'm not sure about. I am definitely, I hate to say to be out and out negative about them because some people enjoy them and I know it means a lot, particularly to girls, but I don't know, for me, the jury's out on weddings.
- [18:29]
Meg Bowles
You can hear more of Catherine's interview with Simon on our website. You can also see pictures of Simon's family and some really great shots of Simon and Jonathan's wedding day. In a moment, we'll hear a story from a suburban housewife and mother whose dark and secret past finally catches up to her.
- [18:51]
Catherine Burns
The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts and presented by by the Public Radio.
- [18:59]
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- [21:02]
Meg Bowles
This is the Moth Radio Hour from prx. I'm Meg Bolz. Our next story is from Marie Walsh. When Marie took the stage at the Players in New York, she she looked like a modern day June Cleaver, a classic housewife straight from central casting. She was incredibly nervous, having never done something like this before, so she clutched the mic stand so tightly and didn't let go until the story was over. Here's Marie Walsh live at the Moth.
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Marie Walsh
I was home one day when I received a call from a man who was trimming the trees in the neighbor's yard next door, and he asked me to come out in front to see if there was any damage from a branch that had fallen in my yard. And so I went outside and as I approached him, he pulled out a badge and said, are you Susan Lafever? And I said, no, I'm Marie Walsh. I was Allen's wife, Katie, Maureen, and Alan Jr. S mother, but I hadn't been Susan LaFever in 33 years. But then he pulled out a mug shot of me when I was 19, and I knew at that point that the two worlds that I had been living had had finally collided. As a teenager growing up in Michigan, I had listened to Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, worn paisley print dresses and fringe suede jackets, all choices that drove my parents crazy. I also went to a Community college and folded clothes at a department store. By most accounts, I was a pretty average teenager. And until one night when I went with a friend to a pizza place, was a guy that I'd only met a couple times, a friend of my ex boyfriend. And suddenly we were surrounded by police and arrested. When they interrogated me later, they said that it's. It wasn't me that they wanted. This was the early day of the war on drugs. And they said, we just want some names. But I didn't have any names to give them. My parents were very angry. I'd been raised in a very strict Catholic home and had always been told that it was better to die than embarrass your parents. And we're supposed to make them proud, not bring the family down. My uncle was a prominent attorney town and he said that I should take a plea deal, that I'd been offered to plead guilty and I would get probation for one year. So I was very reluctant to do this. I hadn't done anything wrong. But my father also said that my mother was quite ill and that an embarrassing public trial would be make her feel. Would make her feel worse. So I finally gave in. I decided to just do what I was told for once. And so I pled guilty. And then I went back to the court and stood before the judge expecting probation. And he looked down at me and said that he wanted to send a message to the public. And he sentenced me to 10 to 20 years in prison. So I was shocked more than anything, more than sad that would come later. At the time was just stunned. I couldn't figure out what had gone wrong. I'd done what they told me and I just. I thought there must be a mistake. Nonetheless, the next day I was sent to a prison in Detroit. And I thought, I can't survive this. But then part of me didn't want to survive it. I didn't want to survive. I didn't want to live. My uncle now said that since I'd pled guilty, I couldn't appeal my sentence. So I was a little. I was devastated for. Kind of depressed, I guess I was just sort of for months. And eight months later, I received a visit from my first visit. And it was my grandfather. And he said, you only option is to escape this prison. And when I got up off my chair, this is my grandfather who was a very respected man from a very prominent family in Detroit for many generations. And he'd never broken the law in his life. And here he was telling me to escape from a prison and he would help me. So I was stunned again. And he said, if you make it over the fence, I'll be there waiting for you. So I was terrified of the idea of escape. But I'd heard stories about people getting caught on the fence and caught in the barbed wire or shot while they're trying to get over it. But I was more terrified of staying in this prison, this place for 10 to 20 years. So early one morning I was on my way to a prison job and it was still dark. And under the COVID of darkness, I bolted for the fence and I ran, started climbing up the fence and when I got. And I threw some clothing the best I could over the barbed wire and jumped to the other side, my feet hitting the frozen ground. My hands were all, were bleeding, I noticed. But I just had to. I knew I just had to keep running. It didn't matter. I just had to start running and keep running. I ran and ran until I felt like my heart was going to burst through my chest. But I just had to keep going. I heard a helicopter overhead after a little while and all I could think of was, I hope they shoot me. I don't want to go back. And I kept running. Finally, the day started getting a little brighter and I could see my grandfather's car at the edge of the woods, just like he'd said. And it was a welcome sight. And I jumped in the backseat and he took off. I just, my heart was pounding at every intersection, but I was just every, every moment away, getting further from the prison, just felt elated. He drove about 30 miles to his house and I looked at it looked strange. Every other time I'd been to his home was growing up. Almost every holiday we'd spent at my grandfather and the big house had been filled with all my many cousins, my brothers and sisters. But today it was eerily quiet. A little while later my parents arrived and I was shocked to see my mother was in a wheelchair now. And we hugged, thinking we might never see each other again. And she slipped $200 in my hand. Two weeks later, I arrived in San Diego in the middle of the night. And when I woke up, it was to a glistening pastel colored world. And I decided I was now Marie Day. I'd left Susan behind in a cold, wintry Michigan. I started immediately to build a new life. And I got a job and roommates and made new relationships. And sometimes I get so comfortable with people that I would reveal my experience and instantly regret it. That they now knew when it came out that they now knew this. So I feel like I knew I had to distance myself from whoever I had told. So years later, when I met Alan, I knew that I couldn't tell him. I didn't ever want to have to leave him. So Alan and I got married, were married and had three children and started to build a new life together. I had lived a life that I had dreamed of, that my grandfather would have been proud of. I knew the fear never left me, knowing that even the slightest mistake, a minor traffic ticket, and I might be pulled back into this terrible world, terrible place. So I just was very careful. But then one day a relative called and said that the police were calling around and looking for me, asking if I was still alive and if they had heard from me, if I was alive. And everybody said that I wasn't because almost no one that I had gotten in touch with knew my address. And we'd hoped that this was a formality, that the detective would go away, but. And quit looking for me. But he kept on, and month after month. And about a year later, I got another call. And five police cars were at my brother's house in Arizona. And they're banging on the door, yelling for him to answer the door. And I knew that I had a decision to make. Do I tell my husband about my past and uproot the family? And my son was 15, in high school, just started. And I said, I don't want to do that to him. I said that I felt like I'd be running like a wild animal. I thought, I can't do this to my family. It was nothing that they had done. And so I just stayed put and decided to prepare my family the best I could as far as having the kids cook and do their laundry. I've implanted succulents, a plant that my husband couldn't kill. If I happened to. The worst case happened. And then here I was, finding myself looking at my mugshot in my front yard. And at that point, I knew that my long run from the law was over. The detective asked me to go in the house to leave my valuables. And I took off my wedding ring. The first time in 23 years. My daughter was there. Katie. She was 19. The same age that this all happened to me started when everything started. She ran over and was crying, knowing something was very wrong. I tried to comfort her. Then I knew. Then I had to call my husband. He was at work, and he was. The words prison escape and 10 to 20 years fugitive took him a moment, but he. He's an accountant. Of course. When he recovered a few minutes later, he did go into a protective mode and said, we'll get through this together. So I was transported back to Michigan in a cage in the back of a truck. My hands and ankles were chained tightly to my waist for 24 hours a day for almost two weeks. And when I got there, there was a media frenzy about my case. And not only my family was embarrassed, but the Michigan prison. The legal system was also embarrassed about the details of my case. And the guards seemed to be incited. Some of them felt a little incited by the media attention and singled me out. Not letting me first thing was not letting me use the telephone like other inmates. So I wasn't able to call home or call an attorney for many weeks. My husband didn't know where I was for more than a month. He had no idea. I stayed there for a year waiting for a hearing. It was a year that I didn't have any. Able to touch my children, able to hug them. Holidays went by, came and went. My oldest daughter graduated from college, birthdays. Finally I did get my hearing. It was made clear that there was no evidence to convict me in the first place. And I was given a release date. Soon after that, my husband and friends met me on my release day, met me at the gate. There was a helicopter overhead. This time it was to shoot news footage, not bullets. As I walked out, my husband leaned over and said, it's over. It's finally over. As a fugitive, I'd always looked forward, always planning my next step. It wasn't till I stopped running and was able to look back that I realized how much my grandfather had risked. How much. What an amazing impact that he'd had on my life. And I only wish that he were around at that day to see that it all had turned out all right. Thank you.
- [35:45]
Meg Bowles
That was Marie Walsh. At first, Marie was afraid of how her friends in the close knit community where she lived would react once they found out about her past. Especially when they found out on the evening news. But she says she was surprised by the overwhelming support many of her friends showed and how they rallied around her and her family to see pictures of Marie, her family and photography photos from the trial that finally ended her run from the law. You can Visit our website themoth.org.
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Simon Doonan
Little Darling the smiles are returning to the faces Little darling It seems like years.
- [36:35]
Jill Donnelly
Since they've been there.
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Meg Bowles
The moth hosts story slams around the country where we invite people to throw their name in a hat for a chance to tell A five minute story on whatever the theme for that evening is. Carlos Kotkin is a regular at the Story Slams in Los Angeles. And he told this next story at an evening we called Golden Opportunity. Here's Carlos Kotkin live at the mall.
- [37:03]
Carlos Kotkin
Hello. When I was 20 years old, I got a job working as an assistant for an old school Hollywood producer named Edgar Schereck. I dropped out of school, which terrified my mom. I told her I was an artist, I didn't need college. If anyone ever expressed concern, I would let them know. I was valedictorian in my high school. So I was working for Edgar. And my main responsibility, working for Edgar was to drive him around town to his various meetings. I had to drive his huge whale of a BMW. At the time I owned a tiny Toyota Tercel. So this is exciting for me and Edgar, the first day I went to work for him, said, if you're going to work for me, if you're going to drive me around, you can't dress like you're in junior high school. Which was pretty spot on because this shirt that I'm wearing right now I've owned since the seventh grade. Don't tell anyone. So Edgar brought me to Macy's and he bought me five suits. My first suits. He was like Richard Gere and I was Julia Roberts trying on kind of like that, but not at all. So I've never looked better driving Edgar around town. And he had a project, a script that he was developing at 20th Century Fox. And I would drive him over there, and then Edgar would take me into the meetings. And beforehand he would say, if you have anything to contribute, speak up. Don't be a sissy. So I'd go in the meeting and he would introduce me as his associate. I wasn't his assistant. I wasn't his driver. I was his associate. And I would participate. I would speak up. I would say things like, I think when she has a dream, she should dream about an eagle. And I would say things like that. So I worked for Edgar for two years, and then I was ready to move on. And with Edgar's blessing, I wrote to the executive that I got to know through those script meetings at 20th Century Fox. I told him that I was looking for something new. He brought me in for an interview. I didn't know what for. I didn't know what I was interviewing for. I figured maybe he needs another assistant. And I go in there and I sit down. It was the strangest interview I ever had. He asked me what kind of movies do you like? What books have you read? Basically, we were speed dating, and at the end of the interview, he looked at me and he said, you're well within the ballpark of studio executive. I'm going to talk to the president of the studio in an hour, and I'm going to tell him that he should sit down with you. And I thought, oh, my God, that's what I'm here for. That's what I thought. But I said, okay, that sounds cool. I'll meet with the president. I realized that he saw me in a different light. To him, I wasn't Edgar's driver. I was the guy in the expensive suit who spoke up at the script meetings, and I didn't correct him. So, I mean, that's what I was. I did do that. So a week later, I'm sitting in the office of the president of 20th Century Fox, and it's just like you would imagine. It was a huge office. He had a booming voice, and he would yell things like, get Tom Cruise on the phone. And he sat down with me. He's holding my resume. And at the bottom of my resume, I put education usc. And I didn't put any dates. And the first thing that he asked me was, what kind of degree does a person get when a person graduates from usc? And I said, well, when a person graduates from usc, a person gets a bachelor's degree. He sat up really straight and he said, are you telling me that you dropped out of college? And I said, yes, but I was valedictorian in my high school. I can totally do this job. And we actually got into a debate about the importance of having a degree. And it got so animated that at one point, I told the president of 20th Century Fox, you kind of sound like my mother. And he hired me. So I went from being Edgar Scherrick's driver to studio executive at 20th Century Fox. I was given my own office. I was given an assistant, a British man who made me very uncomfortable. I tried never to ask him for anything, ever. I was going to premieres all the time. It was a lot easier to get dates. Agents and producers were taking me out for drinks, and I would show up in my Toyota Tercel. They would look at it like. Like dogs that you're hearing a funny noise. And I eventually upgraded to a Corolla. But even so, I get all the time. People would say, you're not like the others. I remember one time I was walking back to the executive building in my office, and I ran into this casting director that I knew from when I was a production assistant on a movie. And she saw me in my suit, and she started laughing. She said, are you an extra in something? And I said, no, I'm an executive. And I gave her my business card as proof, as evidence, and she looked at it. She laughed, and she gave me a big hug. She said, don't worry, Carlos. I won't tell anyone. So I did a good job. I was there for two years, and I got the hang of it. And I would say things like, this script, something about Mary. I think it would be a funny movie. And that worked out. But ultimately, I mean, it was a good experience. It was a learning experience. It was clearly an opportunity, but it wasn't me. I felt like my spirit, my soul was being stifled. I hated my shoes. After two years, I told the president's studio I was moving on. And I did move on to more creative endeavors. I made a lot less money. But this opportunity to share with you guys and to express myself more creatively and to hopefully connect and relate this to me is much more of a fulfilling, golden opportunity. Thank you.
- [43:27]
Meg Bowles
That was Carlos Cochran. Carlos traded in his suit and executive life and is now a successful author and screenwriter in Hollywood. When we come back, we'll hear a story of one woman's attempt to sabotage the wedding of the man she loved.
- [44:06]
Catherine Burns
The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by the Public Radio Exchange. PRX.org.
- [44:18]
Meg Bowles
This is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Meg Bowles from the Moth. Our last story is also from the LA Slam stage. It comes from Jill Donnelly, who told us at Busby's. Here's Jill live at the mall.
- [44:34]
Carlos Kotkin
Hi.
- [44:36]
Jill Donnelly
Okay. This is a story about sabotaging your favorite person. So you know how we all have. We all have, like, our favorite people. Like, there are a lot of people you love and like and see on a regular basis. But then there's this super category of, like, your favorites. And my dad has always been way up there, way up in the favorite category. Like, the moment I was born, I was like, who's that guy? He seems like a keeper. Keep him around. He's great. He's great. He's the best. He's like a great combination between of, like, upstanding and really goofy, which I think is a great combo. He's a little history. He's like a computer guy, lives in upstate New York, real shy. He, like, drove a minivan until he got a Prius. You. You know, he's kind of that guy. And he's my favorite person. When I was four years old, my parents got a good divorce, and they had, like, joint. Joint custody. So, like, one week. One week. One week, right. And the weeks at my dad's were fun. They involved a ton of Star Trek and Danger Bay. I don't know if anyone remembers that show. Real exciting show. A lot of peanut butter and fluffernutter sandwiches. And the best part was, like, a ton of Motown. So, like, that was a favorite activity. My dad, my brother and I would put on, like, the Big Chill album and do a lot of, like, dancing and singing. And we had a song that was our song, which was the song my girl, you know, like, dun dun dun, dun dun. I promise I won't sing too long Da da da Right? I got sunshine and when it got to my girl My girl My dad would always put our names in a weird way, like Jill O. Mikey. Right? Like, kind of goofy. It was really great, guys. It was a really great life. But then my dad met someone. Jean. Okay, well, right from the get go, not a big fan. I was not a big fan. She didn't have her ears pierced. She. She was, like, more of a dog person than a cat person. Although, truth be told, she's also a cat person, so I can't, you know. But at the time, I was like, this is bad. She always could tell when I was lying, even about little things, you know, Like, I'd be like, I ate my yogurt, and she'd be like, you're lying. And I was, you know, like, she could always tell the lies. We didn't hit it off, but I thought she was a passing fad. My dad, however, did not. My dad was really into her. They had, like, all the same politics, and they really, like, had so many great inside jokes, and, you know, they just really fell in love. So two years into dating, Jean moves in, and my war of sabotage began. The first thing that happened. So Gene and my father are both Catholic. I am Jewish. That's a different story. And so I decided to wait until the spring that year, and I sat my dad down and I said, you know, dad, you say for Lent, you should really give up something, you know, that means something to you. I think this year it might have to be Gene. I really think that's, like, the right Catholic thing to do. I mean, I don't know. I'm Jewish, but. But don't do it, okay? And he was like, no, I'm not doing that. So then they got engaged, and I Was like, okay, we gotta amp up the resistance a little more. So I sat them both down and I said, listen, guys, I really don't think you should get married. I'm having these really terrible dreams about ruining your wedding. In the dreams, the priest is like, speak now or forever you hold your peace. And I scream and I ruin it. Don't do it. Just hold off until I'm a little older. And Jean was like, are you lying? And I was like, yes. So the day the wedding comes, I'm nine years old, I'm dressed in pink, and the only thing left to do, I mean, it was the day of the wedding. The only thing left to do was to ruin their photos. So every time I felt like, I really do feel terrible about this, but every time the camera was on me, every time I felt like the photographer nearby, I would like, look real mean or fake cry or something just so there would be documentation of how much I disliked what was happening. But the wedding happened despite my best efforts. And we went to the reception. And as I watched them dance their first dance, I had to put up the white flag. I realized I had lost. And it's not that I thought my parents would ever get back together. I kind of knew that that was a no go. But I had lost this great wacky bachelor whose only thing in life was his kids, whose favorite thing in life was his kids. And this time I cried for real watching them dance. I couldn't stand it. So I started to walk back to the kids table when suddenly I heard I got sunshine. And my brother grabbed my hand and we ran out onto the floor. And my shy trekkie dad danced his heart out with his kids in front of all of our family and friends. That was 21 years ago. They are still married. In fact, this morning they sent me a little video, my dad and Jean, of them. This is my birthday. It's my birthday, guys. And they thank you. Oh, thank you. Don't let that influence your scores, okay? I didn't want to tell you, but. So they sent me a video this morning of both of them singing Happy Birthday in like, old timey voices, like, they're doing great. And what I've realized is I didn't lose my dad. He's always been there. He just got happier. Thank you.
- [50:45]
Meg Bowles
That was Jill Donnelly. Jill is an improviser and instructor at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and a graduate student in public health policy. If you go to the Moss website, you can see those now infamous pictures of Jill at her father's wedding.
- [51:05]
Simon Doonan
Well, I guess you say what can make me feel this way, Maggot.
- [51:19]
Catherine Burns
Maggie.
- [51:20]
Meg Bowles
You can find out if we have a story slam in your area by visiting themoth.org you can also pitch a story to us directly on our website. Go to themoth.org, click on tell a Story and it'll take you on a step by step. How to so you can leave us your pitch. Here's a pitch we liked hello, my.
- [51:38]
Francisco MartinReo
Name is Francisco MartinReo. I was 24 years old when I quit my job as a faceless financial analyst in New York City and decided instead to go study foreign policy. About a year later, I found myself studying terrorist recruitment in Dadaab, the world's largest refugee camp and a fertile recruiting ground for the terrorist group Al Shabaab, which in February joined Al Qaeda. I was studying counter radicalization. Think of it as a fancy way of asking, why did you decide to become a terrorist? Even though I'd been in the camp for a few weeks interviewing hundreds of refugee children, I still couldn't figure out what the difference was between those who joined a terrorist group and those who didn't. At first I thought it was an Islamic education, but that didn't make any sense because everybody had an Islamic education. And then I thought it was the lack of economic opportunity, as most silly academics tend to argue. But that made no difference in the camp. Even those who had jobs sometimes would join Al Shabaab. And then finally I met Sahal, a young boy who had dropped out of school a few years ago, who taught me everything I needed to know about terrorist recruitment. This is the story of how one uneducated refugee proved everyone at Harvard wrong and along the way taught me how to finally beat extremism.
- [52:53]
Meg Bowles
We get a lot of pitches and it takes a while to listen to every story, but I assure you we are listening. You can find all the stories you heard in this hour at the iTunes store or on our website, themoth.org where you can also find pictures and learn more about all of our storytellers. Thanks so much for listening and we hope you'll join us again next time for the Moth Radio Hour.
- [53:24]
Catherine Burns
Your host this week was Meg Bowles. Meg also directed the stories in the hour along with Kathryn Burns. The rest of the Moths directorial staff includes Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin Janess, and Jennifer Hickson. With production support from Jenna Weiss Berman and Brandon Echter. Moth stories are true as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Moth events are recorded by Argo Studios in New York City City, supervised by Paul Ruest. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour the Wedding Song by the yeah yeah Yeahs Here Comes the Sun by Richie Havens I Love the Life I Live by Mose Allison and My Girl by the Temptations. The Moth is produced for radio by me, Jay Allison at Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, with help from from Vicki Merrick. This hour was produced with funds from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, the National Endowment for the Arts, and the John D. And Catherine T. MacArthur foundation, committed to building a more just, verdant and peaceful world. The Moth Radio Hour is presented by the public radio exchange prx.org for more about our podcast, for links to the music in our hours, for information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.