Podcast Summary: The Moth - "Three Cheers for Three Mothers: Donna Edwards, Rachel Ollerenshaw & Alexandra Rosas"

Episode Information:

• Title: Three Cheers for Three Mothers: Donna Edwards, Rachel Ollerenshaw & Alexandra Rosas
• Host/Author: The Moth
• Release Date: May 4, 2018
• Description: This Mother’s Day-themed episode features three heartfelt and inspiring true stories centered around motherhood. The storytellers share personal experiences that explore the joys, challenges, and profound bonds of being a mother.

Introduction

Sarah Austin Janess, the executive producer of The Moth, opens the episode by highlighting the upcoming Mother's Day celebration. She introduces the theme of the podcast—sharing three favorite Moth stories about moms—and sets the stage for the listeners to engage with the intimate and powerful narratives that follow.

Story 1: Donna Edwards – A Journey of Love and Adoption

Story Overview: Donna Edwards narrates her emotional journey of struggling with infertility, opting to become a surrogate, and navigating the complexities of her relationship during this tumultuous period.

Key Points:

• Relationship and Desire for a Child: Donna shares her deep love for her partner and the mutual desire to have a child, leading them to pursue in vitro fertilization (IVF) after three years of unsuccessful attempts ([02:28]).

  "I went, yeah, you know I really love you." ([02:28])

• Decision to Surrogate: When Donna’s partner faces challenges in conceiving, Donna decides to become a surrogate, surprising her friends and medical professionals with her determination despite typically identifying as the "butch one" in her family ([03:00]).

  "I am a strong human being." ([03:00])

• Pregnancy and Birth Complications: Donna successfully becomes pregnant but faces a medical issue where her baby’s head is too large to be delivered naturally. She undergoes a C-section, witnessing the birth of her child for the first time, only to have the baby taken to the NICU due to gestational diabetes ([05:01]).

  "This was the most beautiful cry I’d ever heard in my life." ([05:01])

• Relationship Breakdown: Two years into co-parenting, Donna’s partner admits she’s no longer in love. Donna decides to prioritize her well-being and her child, choosing to end the romantic relationship while maintaining co-parenting responsibilities ([06:36]).

  "I don’t think I could spend the rest of my life being with a woman who’s not in love with me." ([07:27])

Notable Quote:

"I’m the bitch with the scar." – Donna Edwards ([07:27])

Conclusion: Donna reflects on the resilience required to navigate love, loss, and motherhood. Her daughter, now 15, is described as a perfectly well-adjusted young lady, highlighting the success of their co-parenting arrangement ([07:35]).

Story 2: Rachel Ollerenshaw – Celebrating Life Amidst Tragedy

Story Overview: Rachel Ollerenshaw recounts the heartbreaking yet inspiring story of her daughter Molly’s battle with cancer and how the family chose to celebrate life even in the face of imminent loss.

Key Points:

• Facing Terminal Illness: Rachel and her husband inform their 8-year-old daughter, Molly, about her terminal cancer diagnosis, offering her three choices: more chemotherapy, participation in clinical trials, or doing nothing ([08:08]).

  "Molly, you have three choices." ([08:08])

• Molly’s Decision: Demonstrating remarkable maturity, Molly opts to cease treatment, prioritizing quality of life over prolonging it. This decision leads the family to focus on celebrating the time they have left together ([10:00]).

• Celebrating Life: Over three months, the family organizes various celebrations for Molly, including award ceremonies for her friends and special outings, fostering a joyous environment despite the underlying sorrow ([10:45]).

• Molly’s Influence: Molly’s approach teaches Rachel the importance of cherishing every moment and celebrating life’s preciousness, fundamentally changing her perspective as a parent ([12:00]).

Notable Quote:

"If Molly can do it at 8 years old, if she can celebrate life and get on with it, then so can I." – Rachel Ollerenshaw ([11:30])

Conclusion: Rachel emphasizes the profound impact Molly had on her family, leading her to establish the charity Molly Ollie's Wishes. The organization has since raised over £1.6 million, supporting thousands of children with life-threatening illnesses by granting their wishes and providing therapeutic support ([12:39]).

Story 3: Alexandra Rosas – The Struggle Between Providing and Emotional Connection

Story Overview: Alexandra Rosas shares her personal struggle with balancing material provision for her children with emotional connection, using the metaphor of the "Little Bear" DVD to illustrate her challenges.

Key Points:

• Action Prone vs. Action Resistant: Alexandra describes herself as "action resistant," finding it difficult to declutter and let go of possessions, unlike her husband who is "action prone" and eager to organize ([13:35]).

• Emotional Attachment: The "Little Bear" DVD symbolizes Alexandra’s attempts to emulate her mother’s parenting style, serving as a tool for creating joyful experiences with her children that she felt she lacked growing up ([17:00]).

  "Little Bear is where I learned how to mother." – Alexandra Rosas ([17:00])

• Children’s Perception: Alexandra's children begin to express their frustration with her obsession over Little Bear, revealing a disconnect between her intentions and their needs ([18:00]).

  "She’s obsessed with us. She needs a life. How can we get her to find another hobby?" ([18:00])

• Generational Impact: Alexandra reflects on her own mother's struggles as a single immigrant mother and how it shaped her approach to motherhood. She realizes the importance of emotional connection over material provision ([19:00]).

• Healing Through Motherhood: Embracing the idea that love can heal, Alexandra commits to being more emotionally present for her children, understanding that her efforts to connect were deeply influenced by her Mother's sacrifices ([19:28]).

Notable Quote:

"Love hurts, but love also heals." – Alexandra Rosas ([19:10])

Conclusion: Alexandra acknowledges the duality of love’s pain and its healing power, striving to honor her mother's legacy by fostering a deeper emotional bond with her children. The story underscores the intricate balance between providing for one's family and nurturing emotional well-being ([19:28]).

Conclusion

Sarah Austin Janess wraps up the episode by celebrating the strength and dedication of all mothers, highlighting the diverse experiences shared by Donna, Rachel, and Alexandra. She encourages listeners to appreciate and honor their own mothers, sending heartfelt thanks and appreciation.

Final Message:

"Three cheers for all the moms out there. We're thinking of you, we love you and we're sending you lots of thanks." – Sarah Austin Janess ([20:18])

Key Takeaways:

• Resilience in Motherhood: Each story illustrates the immense strength required to navigate the complexities of motherhood, whether through adoption, battling illness, or balancing emotional connections.
• Impact of Parental Choices: The narratives highlight how parents’ decisions profoundly affect their children's lives and well-being.
• Emotional Healing: The stories collectively emphasize the healing power of love and the importance of emotional presence in parenting.

For more stories and information, listeners are encouraged to visit The Moth website.