Dan Kennedy (0:00)

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Tina McElroy Anza (1:08)

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. Hey everybody. Wanted to let you know. Join us in Pittsburgh on Thursday, August 23, when Pittsburgh Arts and Lectures and Essential Public Radio present the Moth Main Stage at the New Hazlett. For ticketing information and for a list of all of our upcoming tour stops, visit themoth.org the story you're about to hear by Tina McElroy Anza was told live at the Moth in 2011. The theme of the night was shot through the stories of bows and arrows.

Tina McElroy Anza (1:47)

I was born in Macon, Georgia, which is at the very center of the state of Georgia. They called it the heart of Georgia. And the whole time that I was growing up, my daddy owned juke joints and liquor stores. He owned juke joints all over Macon, Georgia. There was a Bonton Cafe and the Bluebird Beer Parlor and the Broadway Beer Parlor and Grill. You know, at different times, different ones in different locations. But they were all called the place at our house. As in, you know, oh God, I gotta go down to the place and open up. Don't forget to bring Coca Colas back from the place. And they were all situated in the same African American business district. I don't know if you know, but before desegregation, every little town, every large town, especially in the south, had a thriving African American business district. And in Macon, Georgia, ours was Broadway and Mulberry. People just talked about, I'm going to go down to Broadway and get me a drink. Oh, yeah, I'm going to go down to. To Mulberry and pick up some fish for dinner. Or, you know, the one that I loved was, you know, oh, that woman got a butt big enough to walk Broadway. I loved Broadway and Mulberry. I saw my whole life through the prism of Broadway and Mulberry and my father's juke joints because there was always music playing. There was. You could tell what era it was and what year it was by the music that was playing. There was either Bobby Blublin or B.B. king or Elmo James or Ruth Brown or the wicked Picket Wilson Pickett or my homeboys, Otis Redding or Little Richard or James Brown and the Famous Flames. We claimed him sometimes too. And I loved the music. Music was going on all the time. Bumpy, bumpy, bump, you know, on the jukebox. That's why they call it, you know, a juke joint. My mother worked at my father's juke joints. My father called it helping out. My mother worked at these juke joints and she brought me downtown in a fluffy yellow, you know, baby blanket all wrapped up. And she came in and one of her boys, as she called him, one of the rouster bouts or winos, put this cardboard box up on the counter, this liquor store box, probably Old Forester box. And she put me inside this box in my little fluffy yellow blanket up on the counter for people to come by and see the new baby, you know, the. The last one McElroy child, the baby of the family, the youngest of five. And, you know, everybody came by and did what they always do, you know, when you see a new baby. Oh, ain't she pretty. You got a pretty little baby girl, Ms. Nellie. Oh, yo, she looked like a daddy. That's supposed to be good luck. She gonna be a lucky little girl. They said the things that all admirers say, you know, but these admirers were different. These admirers had look on their breath and most likely half of them had a Pabst Blue Ribbon can in their hand because these were the regular folks at the place. They were there all the time. You know, they were part time bar maids and part time prostitutes, part time maids, you know, boosters and pickpockets and folks who, you know, rolled on the back of the garbage truck and the numbers man or the numbers woman. I love these people. These were my babysitters, these were my compatriots, these were my friends, these were my confidants because I spent all my time that I could down at my father's place. I would come there after school, you know, and do my homework at the bar. Or I'd come on Saturdays just because I loved going down there. And I love these people. These people had such marvelous stories, such amazing stories. They told stories all the time about what happened last night or how the fight around the corner got started and who threw. Who threw the plate glass window. You know, stories about the first time they came to town from the country. But the stories that I really loved were the stories about love. Oh, God. Everybody had a love story about something was going on in their lives. And it was so appropriate because one of the Creole words for having sex is juke. And so, you know, like a juke house is a brothel. And so these people would be at the juke joints and they would just share their stories all the time. Stories of unrequited love and stories of love gone wrong or stories, you know, stories of, you know, how that man made you feel, you know, that you just smiled all day long even if you didn't see him. You know, stories that make people just rock on the bar stools, you know, and clasp their chest and just raise their hands in the air and go, mm, mm, mm. Rich, juicy, wonderful love stories. Unbelievable love stories, you know, because these people had really lived and that, you know, they had stories to tell even when I didn't understand them. They were wonderful love stories. Stories of how it feels when the one you love don't love you back. I remember sitting at the end of the bar one afternoon, and one of the regulars was transvestite. And she was sitting there, kind of a burly kind of guy. And she was sitting there with, you know, full makeup, full stage makeup, the false eyelashes, the earrings, the makeup, everything. A lot of. Kind of glittery blouse. And she was sitting at the bar with a glass and. And half pint, and she was drinking. She'd look out on the dance floor, she'd take another drink, and she'd look out on the dance floor. And so I just sort of leaned over from my homework kind of, you know, what is she looking at? And it was a couple out on the floor, you know, a tall man, a little skinny woman. They were all, like, hooked up, you know, hooked up on the dance floor, just dancing. And my girl here looked at him again and looked over at me and looked at him and took another drink. She leaned over to me and she said, baby, I have fattened my last frog for the snake. And I remember thinking, oh, my God, that's So good. That's so good. Oh, wonder what that means. I wonder what that means. Oh, God, I wish I lived more. I wish I had sex. I wish I knew what that meant, because I knew it was something really wonderful. But, you know, y'all like to keep the babies of the family all ignorant, innocent. For so long, I didn't know anything about life, but I had enough sense to know that that was something rich and wonderful. And it was like all the stories that were in the place. And I realized then that's what I wanted. I wanted a story like that. It was all juicy and rich, you know, it makes somebody go, mm, mm, mm. You know? And so I decided right then that I was gonna live a life that had stories like that. Well, I started noticing in school, you know, the boys interested in you. You're interested in the boys. And I started noticing the girls, especially the old stories, you know, because all we talked about and all they talked about was boys and doing it. Doing it, you know? Is she a virgin? No, she's not a virgin. Yes, she is a virgin. Oh, no, she's not. You think she's done it? Yes, she's done. I mean, that's all they talked about, you know, doing it. And I would listen to their stories, and they would come in and tell them about the first time they did it, you know, And I would listen closely because I was expecting a story, you know, and they would say, yeah, well, it was in the back seat of Richard's car. You know, he keeps all that junk in the back of the car. And it was so uncomfortable, and it was cold, you know, and we had to keep our clothes on, and he didn't know what to put. Got his feet got in the way, and he didn't know what he was doing, I don't think, because it wasn't good. And he promised me it was going to get good later on, but it wasn't good right then, you know? And then in the middle of it, he hollered out, oh, I love you. And now I guess Richard loves me. And I would look at them and say, so. So this is your story, right? This is really, really backseat of the car. This is going to be. I said, right then and there, well, this is not going to be my story. You know, I want my first time to be really wonderful, you know, I didn't think my Vern Trinity was anything, you know, like, you know, precious or anything, but it was mine, you know, And I figured I should have the kind of story around it that I Wanted. Okay, skip ahead to the year that I'm 21. I'm going to be turning 22 in the fall. I have my first job. I am working at the Atlanta Constitution, the morning newspaper in Atlanta, Georgia. In fact, I am the first black woman to work at the Constitution, if you can believe that. I was only the second woman in the newsroom. Well, that's unexpected. Listen to this. I was only the second woman to work in the newsroom. There were only two women working in the newsroom at the time. And I was probably the only woman in the 1970s who had graduated from college still a virgin. We'll take headcounts later on. You know, I had dated guys in college, and they were nice guys. They were good guys, interesting and all of that, you know, and we'd made out and all that, but they just weren't it. You know, they just weren't it. They didn't come up to this list that I had. And I didn't even know I had a list, but obviously I did. I wanted him to be well read, and I wanted him to be well traveled, and I wanted him to have, like, a passion for things, you know, not just his work, but his job, which could have been fine, but a passion for life in some way. You know, I wanted him to be good looking, but not pretty boy good looking. I didn't want a pretty boy. I wanted him to be like, you know, good looking in a sexy, dark, dangerous, mysterious kind of way, you know? And for some reason, I wanted him to wear a trench coat. I have no idea. I wanted this woman to wear a trench coat. You know, maybe it was, you know, Richard Roundtree and Shaft or, you know, Rick and Casablanca. I don't know what it was. But I wanted this man to wear a trench coat. But the biggest thing is I wanted this man to be a man. You hear me? I wanted him to know what he was doing. I didn't want any fumbling and stumbling and not knowing where to put stuff. I wanted him to really know his way around a woman's body. This is what I wanted. And I was going to be 22 in the fall, and I realized, okay, girl, it's time to do this thing. Okay? I had gotten on the pill early in the year, and I started, as you can imagine, looking around at everybody in a very sort of different way, you know. You know, all the men became very interesting to me all of a sudden, you know, they were likely candidates. And so there was this guy at work, and he was a nice Guy, you know, we hung out together and we liked, you know, some of the same things. You know, he. He liked me and, you know, respected me. He thought I was a good journalist. I thought he was a good journalist. And, you know, we both love movies. We used to go to films all the time and talk about them. And he would give me rides home from. From work sometimes. And, you know, I'd invite him in, you know, come in and have some coffee, and we'd drink gallons of coffee and just stay up talking about films and the world and travel and, you know, all kinds of things. He was an interesting guy, but, you know, that's all it was. And then one day, I'm sitting at the copy desk, I worked on the copy desk, and I looked up and he was coming in, and he was obviously on deadline because he was rushing, you know, and he had a notebook in his hand, and he was, like, headed for his desk, you know, to bang out a story. And he had on a trench coat. Oh, my God. It's like, you know, a light bulb didn't go on. Clack. Lights came on, you know, it was, like, amazing. I couldn't believe I had missed this all along. This man had on the trench coat. This was the one. He was it. He was it. And I knew his business because we were friends. And I knew even better he was going to be leaving in a few weeks. He had a job in another city. Oh, it got better and better. I thought, this is great. You know, there's no opportunity for, you know, things to get messy and complicated and serious. You know, we were going to do it, and he was going to be out of here. Oh, this was just great. So I started my seduction plan. When we went out to dinner, you know, we were just hanging out, you know. You know, I would sit a little closer to him, you know, on the sofa. Nothing anybody would notice. And then, you know, if we told a joke and it was funny, I'd just hit him. You know, I'd touch him on the shoulder. I start touching him a whole lot more. Okay. I would get lint off of his shoulder. You know, I would straighten his collar. One time I straightened his trench coat collar. Oh, God, what a rush. Okay. Then I stepped it up. You know, one night when he brought me home and I didn't get out yet, he didn't get out of the car. He was just dropping me off. And I just reached over real casually and said, oh, thanks for the ride. I kissed him on the cheek. He didn't even notice it. It was no big deal. We were friends. I did that a couple more nights, you know. Good night. Thanks. And maybe the third night, I leaned over and gave him a kiss, you know, no big thing. No tongue, none of that, you know, but just a kiss. Nice. Smooth. And he was like, whoa, what was that? And we kind of both laughed, and I don't know what that was. And we laughed it off, you know. I don't know. Where'd that come from? Gosh. And so I went on in, and that was it. And then, you know, that went real well. So I started stepping things up, you know, I looked at the calendar, and I looked at my cycle, and I picked the perfect week, you know, and then I looked at the work schedule, and I picked a day that I knew that we both would be working late at night, and that way we wouldn't go in until the next afternoon, and we'd have the whole morning the next day, you know, to take our time. And I did. And I started thinking, okay, this is going good. I mean, we are rolling along here. And I went downtown to Richard's department store, and I bought myself this long, sexy, flowing nightgown, you know, that had an empire waist and a real deep V to show off my cleavage. You know, I had nice cleavage. And so I wanted to show that off. It was in green. And green really doesn't look good on me, but green is my lucky color. So, you know, I thought I better go with that. But to tell you the truth, I really didn't even think I needed luck. I mean, it was going along so well. In fact, it was going along too well. I started thinking, oh, my God, something's going to go wrong. You know how that is. The Catholic school girl showed up and went, oh, Tina, this is going to blow up in your face, girl. This is going along too well, you know, it's going to be the biggest mess in history. It's just going. And I had said, yo, shut up. Shut up. I just brushed off. Shut up. Shut up. And I talked to myself, and I said, stick to the plan, girl. Stick to the plan. Don't get cocky. Don't get cocky. Stick to the plan. And then it was the day. And he drove me home the way he always did, you know, And I invited him in the way I often did. And he came in, and I made some coffee like I always did, and we sat on the sofa, and I, of course, sat close to him. And we're sitting there talking about movies or the news or something, and I just leaned in and just gave it to him. I mean, a real wet, juicy kiss. Just all o into it. He was, like, shocked. He didn't even see it coming. He was, like, shocked, you know, But I didn't give him time to recoup, you know, I just jumped him. I swear, I just jumped him, you know, and he was really shocked now, but he was on board, okay? And so I led him to the bedroom, and at the appropriate moment, I slipped out into the bathroom and I put on my long, sexy gown, you know, and I put my hair up and I looked in the mirror and I looked myself dead in the eye and I said, girl, Tina, you're really going to do this, huh? You are really going to do this. And I did. And it was good. In fact, it was great. It was wonderful. You know, this man knew his way around a woman's body. And I let him do it, you know, a few times. It was just really, really fantastic. Thank you. It was. It was really wonderful. And so, you know, it was interesting because it was. I was just took over with myself because there wasn't any awkwardness and there wasn't any, you know, uncomfortable kind of thing, you know, he didn't scream some insincere I love you, you know, at some inappropriate time because, you know, we really didn't love each other like that. You know, we felt warm for each other, we respected each other, you know, we liked each other, and that's where we were. It wasn't about that kind of love, you know, it was about really, really caring for each other, me choosing. And so we got up the next morning, did it some more, and then, you know, we got dressed and, you know, we didn't have to go to work until the afternoon. And so I was going to go shopping downtown, and he said he dropped me off, and so I got out of the car and, you know, just a little kiss. And he kind of chuckled and laughed. He was kind of thrilled with himself, too, you know, and he kind of laughed and he drove off. And I watched him drive off, you know, and I thought, well, that's pretty, you know, he's driving off into his life, you know, and I turn, you know, to walk up the street, and I was feeling good, you know, when I'm walking up the street and I look in the store glass and I saw this woman and she's walking along, and, I mean, she is strutting, you hear me? Her shoulders are back and she is just. And I looked up and I said, girl, you go on, look at oh my God, it was me. I was strutting up the street, you know, I was a grown woman strutting, strutting up the street. I was having sex. I was in charge of it on my own turf, in my own way. I was like the women who walk Broadway with big butts, you know? That's how I felt. And then it came to me. Not only was I a grown woman having sex in my own way, in my own choice, but like the people down at the place, I had a story. And it was a juicy one too.