The MS Gym Podcast – Episode Summary

Episode: FALL-OSOPHY: My Trip through Life with MS – Interview with Ardra Shephard
Hosts: Brooke Slick & Jodi Feltham
Guest: Ardra Shephard (author, blogger, MS advocate)
Date: May 13, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features an in-depth, honest, and often humorous conversation with Ardra Shephard, renowned MS advocate, blogger (Tripping on Air), and author of the memoir FALLOSOPHY: My Trip Through Life with MS. Hosts Brooke and Jodi delve into Ardra’s new book, exploring her journey with MS, the emotional realities of chronic illness, and her perspectives on disability, relationships, and self-worth. The discussion is unflinchingly real, supportive, and full of relatable moments for those with MS and anyone seeking to better understand life with a chronic condition.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Unveiling the Real Ardra

• Expanded Story Beyond the Blog ([02:10])

  • Ardra explains the depth in her book far exceeds what she’s ever shared online. While her blog “Tripping on Air” started in 2015, her MS journey began in 2001, and the memoir fills in many personal gaps.
  • “The blog is only a fraction of what’s covered in the book.” – Ardra ([02:10])

• A 3D Perspective ([02:52])

  • The memoir offers previously-unshared stories, making Ardra “feel more 3D” (Jodi).
  • Book resonates with MS veterans and newbies, evoking both comfort and recognition.

2. A Book for the MS Community and Beyond

• Goal of the Book ([05:16])

  • Ardra’s primary aim was to create the kind of honest, unsugarcoated narrative she sought at diagnosis—something gritty but hopeful.
  • “First and foremost, I wanted to create something for the MS community… Even now, I need these stories.” – Ardra ([05:16])

• Relatable to All Audiences ([05:59], [64:23])

  • The memoir is “more than a story about MS”—it’s a coming-of-age tale, a love story, and relatable to anyone facing adversity.
  • Non-MS readers have also been deeply moved.

3. Taking Control of the Narrative: Humor and Honesty

• Balancing Humor & Grit ([07:01])

  • Ardra applies Nora Ephron’s philosophy about “owning the joke” to MS— reframing humiliating moments with self-deprecating humor for empowerment (e.g., “peeing your pants at the mall”).
  • “When you tell people you slipped on a banana peel, it’s your laugh… Nobody need make fun of me because I decided it’s a rom com instead.” – Ardra ([07:01])

• De-Stigmatizing MS Realities ([06:03])

  • Openly discussing taboos like bowel issues and guilt, Ardra stresses vulnerability is necessary for utility: *
  • “If I’m going to write a book that’s going to be useful at all, I have to talk about things that are difficult.”* – Ardra ([06:28])

4. Diagnosis and Shifting Identities

• The Immediate Shift After Diagnosis ([08:50])

  • The hosts recall Ardra’s story of being treated differently minutes after diagnosis, such as being ushered into the front seat:
  • “Two hours ago you were…you had something going on, it was a condition, but it didn’t have a name.” – Brooke ([09:44])
  • Ardra reflects: “Just, you’re delicate now…” ([09:53])

• Love Letter to Relationships ([11:50])

  • The memoir is as much about Ardra’s relationship with “the banker” (her husband) and her supportive circle as about MS.
  • The tone is vulnerable, showing her private and romantic sides.

5. Navigating Fear, Guilt, and Support Systems

• Unpacking Emotional Burdens ([13:12])

  • Chronic illness brings not just physical limitations but persistent fear and guilt—about being a burden to loved ones.
  • “I’ve often said the worst symptom of MS is fear. Somebody commented… the worst is guilt. And I think it’s worth exploring…” – Ardra ([13:13])

• Letting Loved Ones Help ([15:29])

  • Parents and partners often want to help; letting them can be mutually beneficial.
  • “As adults, we’ve got to let our parents still be parents… Sometimes it feels good to help people.” – Ardra ([15:52])

6. The Changing Nature of MS

• Needs Evolve Over Time ([16:49]; [22:30])

  • The book addresses the different needs of the newly diagnosed vs. those with advanced illness—each stage bringing unique challenges.
  • “MS isn’t a singular event… With each inch of progression, there’s a new dilemma, a new pivot to be made.” – Brooke ([22:30])

• Perpetual Grief and Finding New Baselines ([23:22])

  • Ardra articulates the ongoing process of loss, adaptation, and reacclimation as MS progresses.
  • “Every now and then, we are spiraling again and need that extra bit of support before a new baseline.” – Ardra ([23:22])

• Hope and Modern Treatments ([25:02])

  • New medications offer more stability now, which wasn’t as available for those diagnosed earlier.

7. Mobility Aids and Rewriting Disability Narratives

• Initial Resistance and Embracing Aids ([19:49], [29:10])

  • Like many, Ardra and the hosts resisted mobility aids at first—grieving the need—but ultimately found liberation in using them.
  • “We interpret using mobility aids as giving up, and it’s not that. It’s the opposite… doing what you need to do to participate in your life.” – Ardra ([29:10])

• Impact of Representation ([32:49])

  • Ardra’s public “ownership” of stylish mobility devices (her “Optimus Prime” Rollz Motion rollator) helped others reframe aids as empowering, not stigmatizing.
  • “I was just putting out what I needed to see. Now it’s everywhere. Sometimes it’s fake it till you make it.” – Ardra ([33:29])

• Design and Dignity in Disability Decor ([53:38])

  • Calls for better-designed, less medical-looking assistive devices.
  • “We don’t have to look like we live in hospitals… Why can’t a sharps container be cute and pink with daisies?” – Ardra ([54:19])

8. Healthcare, Treatments, and Systemic Barriers

• HSCT Experience – Systemic Frustrations ([35:12])
  • Ardra and Jodi share candid experiences with the Canadian healthcare system and the barriers to getting stem cell therapy (HSCT). Both express frustration at being told by a high-profile neurologist to “wait until you’re worse.”
  • “Why would you say that to anyone?” – Ardra ([37:39])
  • Systemic barriers persist even for those motivated to pursue cutting-edge treatments.

9. Visibility of Disability & Societal Perceptions

• Invisible v. Visible Symptoms ([41:24])

  • There are challenges to both “invisible” and “visible” MS symptoms—one brings skepticism, the other social stigma.
  • “There’s a dark side to both experiences… it’s exhausting keeping secrets.” – Ardra ([41:24])

• Workplace and the Pressure to Prove ([43:42])

  • Ardra poignantly describes the pressure to justify joy or ability, fearing it will undermine claims of disability.
  • “You have this feeling that you have to constantly explain how much you’re suffering.” – Ardra ([43:42])

10. Redefining Roles in Relationships: The “C-Word”

• Caretaker vs. Partner ([45:21])

  • Ardra resents being labeled as her husband’s “caregiver,” as it erases her contribution to the relationship and feeds into cultural narratives that undermine mutual support.
  • “Calling him my caregiver erases all the care I give for him… all our relationships involve some caring.” – Ardra ([45:29], [48:21])

• Re-valuing Invisible Labor and Interdependence ([50:40])

  • Ardra urges listeners—especially women—to itemize and recognize their own unseen contributions, combating feelings of being a burden.
  • “Honestly—make a list. Write down all the things that you do… Sometimes when we’re feeling useless, it helps to write that stuff down.” – Ardra ([50:40])

11. Embracing Adaptation & Evolving Attitudes

• Refusing to Just “Keep Fighting” ([55:08], [56:43])
  • Ardra notes her past resistance to “accepting” MS (“Serenity is for quitters”), and describes how peace and practical adaptation eventually trumped perpetual struggle.
  • “Adjusting and adapting is a much healthier place to be… It’s a lesson you have to learn on your own.” – Ardra ([55:08])
  • “It limits me every day. Doesn’t mean my life sucks… but sometimes it gets the best of me.” – Ardra ([56:43])

12. Dating, Self-Worth, and Community

• Romantic Relationships with MS ([57:03])

  • Ardra shares vulnerability about dating and societal perceptions; self-worth plays a critical role.
  • “There will always be those who can’t imagine having a partner with MS… It makes them not enough.” – Ardra ([57:03])

• The Value of Community and Representation ([61:29], [63:28])

  • Ardra’s confidence was rooted in the unwavering support and self-esteem built by her parents.
  • She encourages people with MS to “take up space,” to be visible, and to help shift society’s expectations.

13. Book Reception and Legacy

• Universal Relevance ([64:23])

  • The book resonates not only with MS patients, but also with those outside the community, shifting perspectives about disability writ large.

• Inspiration, Storytelling, and Moving Forward ([68:51], [70:28])

  • Jodi shares how Ardra’s storytelling inspired her to begin writing her own story. Ardra encourages creative expression from others—stating, “We all have a different story, and we all have a voice.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Humor & Ownership: “When you tell people you slipped on a banana peel, it’s your laugh… Nobody need make fun of me because I decided it’s a rom com instead.” – Ardra ([07:01])
• On Guilt: “One of the burdens of chronic illness…is not just worrying about your body, but how your body impacts the people in your family…The worst symptom of MS is fear. Someone commented…guilt is the worst. I think that is worth exploring.” – Ardra ([13:13])
• On Mobility Aids: “We interpret using mobility aids as giving up, and it’s not that. It’s the opposite… doing what you need to do to participate in your life.” – Ardra ([29:10])
• On Systemic Medical Bias: “I was also told, ‘If you had come ten years earlier, I would have fixed you.’ To me, it felt like a really cruel and unnecessary thing to say.” – Ardra ([36:59])
• On Self-Worth & Relationships: “People who can’t see my self-worth don’t make me worthless. It makes them not enough.” – Ardra ([57:03])
• On Parental Support: “I was taught to never hide my sparkle. My parents’ deluded faith in me has given me the deluded faith I’ve needed in myself.” – Ardra ([61:29])
• On Representation & Advocacy: “When we are inclined to hide our MS, we are inadvertently contributing to that narrative…It takes people being able to say, ‘I have MS, I am disabled, and I deserve to be here.’” – Ardra ([61:29])
• On Inspiration: “We all might have the same diagnosis, but we all have a different story, and we all have a voice.” – Jodi ([69:34])

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Opening & Introduction: 00:00–02:10
• Why Write This Book / New Depth: 02:10–06:03
• Humor & Honesty in Telling the MS Story: 07:01–08:31
• Diagnosis: The Front Seat Moment: 08:50–10:26
• Love, Relationships, Guilt: 11:07–15:52
• Navigating Care, Guilt, and Letting Others Help: 15:52–16:29
• Evolving Experience (Newbie to Veteran): 16:49–25:02
• Discussion on MS Treatments (HSCT): 35:12–40:02
• Mobility Aids, Representation, and Acceptance: 19:49–34:03
• Workplace Pressure & Proving Disability: 41:24–44:48
• Caretaker/Caregiver Word Debate: 45:21–53:26
• Disability Décor and Design: 53:38–54:43
• Fighting vs. Accepting: 55:08–56:43
• Dating and Worthiness: 57:03–61:29
• Community, Inspiration, & Wrapping Up: 61:29–75:29

Overall Tone

The tone is candid, warm, irreverent, and empowering. Ardra and the hosts do not shy away from the messy, difficult realities of MS, but they also offer hope, laughter, and solidarity. The conversation feels like an intimate coffee chat among friends who “get it,” and offers validation, comfort, and inspiration for anyone touched by MS or chronic illness.

For listeners or readers:

• Ardra’s book, FALLOSOPHY, is recommended for anyone with MS, their loved ones, medical professionals, or anyone seeking to better understand chronic illness.
• The episode encourages self-compassion, acceptance, humor, and not being afraid to take up space.
• Ardra’s work demonstrates the crucial power of storytelling and representation in transforming how we see illness, disability, and ourselves.

For more info:
Find Ardra at Tripping on Air Blog, and look for FALLOSOPHY wherever books are sold. The episode details additional accessibility options including large print and an upcoming audiobook in Ardra’s own voice.