14: #14 | Geography with Graham Kay

Summary

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Public Figures Podcast – Episode #14: Geography with Graham Kay

Date: May 6, 2026
Hosts: Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay
Guest: Graham Kay

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Episode Overview

In this episode, comedians Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Dusty Slay welcome Canadian comedian Graham Kay for a globe-trotting, laughter-filled discussion focused on geography. The group explores Graham’s international experiences, the quirks of global travel, how geography informs comedy, fun facts about the world, and the unique aspects of life in Canada. The conversation moves fluidly from heartfelt personal stories to quick-witted comic banter, including advice for aspiring comedians and deep-dive trivia about maps, time zones, and random global curiosities.

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Main Themes and Discussions

1. Catching Up and Recent Projects

[02:21 – 06:14]

• The hosts joke about shows, catchphrases, and upcoming events.
• Graham’s heartfelt comedy special "Pete and Me" is spotlighted for its insights into growing up with his autistic brother.

  “I was planning on just...fast forward to the credits to see if I’m mentioned. And it was so good I watched the whole thing.” – Dusty Slay [06:01]

• Others reflect on the challenges and humor in watching comics’ specials.

2. "Pete and Me" – Family, Autism & Comedy

[06:33 – 15:03]

• Graham discusses the challenges and misconceptions about autism, referencing Rain Man stereotypes and family dynamics.
• The group shares moving and funny anecdotes including Graham’s morning Bert & Ernie routine with his brother, parental encouragement, and navigating awkward social situations.
• Notable heartfelt moment:

  “[My brother] can’t count, but he’s a good guy.” – Graham Kay [07:03]

• The origin and meaning of “the love push” from his parents and the importance of getting out of comfort zones for growth.

3. Listener Comments and Comic Rapport

[16:38 – 31:41]

• Replies to podcast reviews highlighting the chemistry of the hosts and Graham’s return.
• Playful musings on humility and the humblebrag trope:

  “Oh, I’m so humble. I could be so much less humble if I wanted to.” – Aaron Weber [18:38]

• Discussion of catchphrases and comic personas, with recurring jokes about who’s more intellectual or oppositional on the panel.
• Chat about Canadian vs. American pronunciation – “Ottawa” and “pasta.”

4. Artificial Intelligence Tangent

[27:43 – 34:44]

• Dusty’s anxiety about AI taking over the world, while Brian gleefully shares his fun with AI song generators.
• Comic critique of AI’s impact on poster-making, music, job displacement, and the arms race between tech companies.

  “You’re part of the problem. I’m trying to stop it from taking over the world.” – Dusty to Brian [28:08]

• All agree on the need for regulation and point out the dangers, but recognize its inevitability.

5. Advice for Young Comedians

[24:44 – 37:06]

• Listener Jude (15 years old) seeks advice.
• “Just do it,” says Graham, urging direct action rather than waiting for destiny.
• “Get a job you hate, then talk about it,” says Brian, emphasizing relatable, real-world experience as comedy fuel.

6. Geography, Travel, and Culture

[58:10 – 71:45]

• Graham recounts living in Budapest, Hungary for a year:

  “I lived in Budapest for a year after I got a job with the Canadian government... We were war profiteers, which I did not know. I didn’t figure out for about six months.” – Graham Kay [59:00]

• Their global travels: cruise ships, various countries, and funny moments navigating language barriers and local customs.
• Budapest’s architectural wonders, bathhouses, favorite food, and working for the government.
• Tales of the famous Turkish baths and chess-playing among locals.

7. World Geography Games & Fun Facts

[71:46 – 89:07+]

• Rapid-fire, surprising geography facts:
  • Closest US state to Africa? “Maine.” [82:31]
  • Country with 11 time zones? “Russia.”
  • China’s single time zone discussion.
• The crew tries to name countries and states without labels, pokes fun at map misconceptions, and discusses the “real” shape of Canada vs. how it's shown on most maps.

  "Russia's way smaller. I'm not scared of Russia anymore." – Graham Kay [84:52]

• The world heritage of Newfoundland and its unique time zone—half an hour ahead.

8. Unexpected and Remote Travel Experiences

[69:26 – 107:10]

• Graham’s stories of sleeping on beaches in Costa Rica, danger stories from Nicaragua, and evading gypsies on European night trains.
• Remote areas they've all visited or would like to visit, with musings about global isolation (like Point Nemo).

  "The most remote area on Earth is called the Oceanic Pole of Inaccessibility... when the International Space Station flies over it, they're the closest people to it." – Dusty Slay [105:21]

9. Global Linguistics and Survival Scenario

[93:53 – 99:40]

• The panel responds to a listener prompt: "You wake up in Mongolia with no phone—what do you do?"
• Attempts at Mongolian language, strategies for seeking help, and the running gag of finding a "nice looking old lady."
• Musings about culture shock, international cuisine, and getting by in unfamiliar places.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Graham’s heartfelt tribute to his brother:
  “He can’t count, but he’s a good guy.” [07:03]
• On comic humility:
  “Oh, I’m so humble. I could be so much less humble if I wanted to.” – Aaron Weber [18:38]
• On AI’s creative disruption:
  “You’re part of the problem. I’m trying to stop it from taking over the world.” – Dusty Slay [28:08]
• On international travel:
  “If you support the local economy in any way, I think you’ve been there.” – Graham Kay [58:52]
• On daylight saving time confusion:
  “No one knows which one it is. But the good one.” – Graham Kay [90:53]
• Classic comic riff:
  “The darkness is always around me.” – Graham Kay [92:12]
• Cultural confusion in Hungary:
  “Sia means goodbye and hallo means hello... It’s the opposite in English!” – Graham Kay [97:02]
• Survival in Mongolia scenario:
  "Just go find a nice looking old lady and speak to her." – Brian Bates [95:53]

---

Key Timestamps

• [02:21] – Introductions and recent news (comedy specials, Nate’s tour)
• [06:33] – "Pete and Me" and stories about Graham’s brother
• [16:41] – Listener comments and banter about catchphrases, humility, and roles
• [27:43] – Deep AI tangent and its impact on art
• [37:12] – Geography class with business examples (Waffle House, etc.)
• [58:10] – International travel tales and living in Budapest
• [71:46] – World trivia: naming countries, time zones, and humorous map confusion
• [93:53] – “You wake up in Mongolia” scenario and cultural adaptation
• [99:36] – Newfoundland’s quirks and comments from listeners
• [105:21] – Most remote place on Earth: Point Nemo
• [110:06] – Stories of feeling unsafe while traveling
• [114:05] – Where the hosts and Graham would like to travel next
• [114:25] – Upcoming tour dates and show promotions

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Episode Wrap-Up

The episode is an energetic blend of insightful travel stories, comic exchanges, and playful geographic trivia. Graham Kay’s visit is both touching and comedic, especially when sharing about his brother and international adventures. The group’s easy rapport keeps the discussion light but occasionally pivots to bigger thoughts on technology, history, and the universality of humor. Geography becomes less about places on a map, and more a means of connecting experiences, culture, and the comedy that springs from our differences and shared humanity.

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Notable Call to Action:
Graham’s special "Pete and Me" is out now on YouTube via the Nateland channel – listeners are encouraged to check it out for both heart and humor.

---

Transcript

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[Brian Bates]

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[Graham K]

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[Brian Bates]

See lowe's.com for more details. Visit your nearby Lowes.

[Dusty Slay]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another special public Figures podcast. As always, I'm Brian Bates. Dusty Slay.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Dusty Slay]

Aaron Weber. Good evening and join us. Very special guest. He's back. Graham K. First time, first time on.

[Aaron Weber]

Our first time on the podcast.

[Graham K]

Yeah, you're right. It's a new podcast.

[Aaron Weber]

You're right, you're right.

[Dusty Slay]

My mistake. Let's start over. Hello, everyone. Dusty Slay. Aaron Weber. First time on the podcast. Graham K. All right, thanks for being here.

[Brian Bates]

Thanks for being here. Thanks.

[Graham K]

That's my little homage to Dusty.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Aaron Weber]

He had the hand up. He's doing. We're having a good time wave.

[Dusty Slay]

We're. We're recording this.

[Graham K]

Oh, yeah, it's a podcast.

[Aaron Weber]

It's audio.

[Graham K]

Start again.

[Aaron Weber]

Strictly an audio medium.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

We're recording this a week early because Dusty's going to be in California next Monday.

[Brian Bates]

That's true. That is true. Of a show at the Troubadour in la.

[Dusty Slay]

So

[Graham K]

it's awesome.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So I've just confused myself when this comes out. But first weekend in May, Okay.

[Brian Bates]

It'd be. Yeah, probably May 5th or 6th. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Spring has sprung.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, 7th maybe.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have just gotten back from. Well, not just gotten back, but did a show with Nate in Colorado Springs.

[Graham K]

How do you do?

[Dusty Slay]

How did Nate do? Yeah, he struggled.

[Aaron Weber]

He struggled to follow you.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, people were chanting Bates.

[Brian Bates]

He thought it was Nate. But they were saying.

[Graham K]

They're saying Bay. I read that in Variety magazine.

[Dusty Slay]

But anyway, welcome in, everyone. I got some Nateland news I want to share with you guys. Nateland presents The Showcase, Season 4. Last week, Johnny Beaner premiered his showcase set. This Thursday, in celebration of Mother's Day, 7 o' clock central, we've got Heather Land. Now, I'm friends with Heather. I've worked with her many times. We mentioned her a couple weeks ago when Landon Bryant was on. That's where I met Landon on a Heather Land show. She's very funny. She. I don't know if you guys know her or not, but she. During COVID I think it was during COVID she started posting these Facebook videos. With the filter on her face and saying I ain't doing it. That was kind of her thing.

[Brian Bates]

What was the filter?

[Aaron Weber]

It was just like a Pac man ghost kind of like.

[Dusty Slay]

Kind of like that. Yeah, yeah. So. And then she just blew up and. Yeah, she's been off to the races ever since.

[Brian Bates]

Just by saying I ain't doing it.

[Aaron Weber]

She said other stuff, doing stuff, doing

[Brian Bates]

it while saying I ain't doing it.

[Dusty Slay]

But that was her catchphrase.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, it's kind of like we're having a good time.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Need something to get people to listen.

[Brian Bates]

Everybody should get a catchphrase, man. Boy, I'll tell you, boy.

[Graham K]

Boy, I tell you.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you have a catchphrase?

[Graham K]

Graham Hamburger.

[Dusty Slay]

It's one of our favorites. I say this, but somebody else has

[Brian Bates]

got that, oh, geez, you should do Earthquake.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't think he ever says earthquake.

[Graham K]

He doesn't? No, I don't think so.

[Aaron Weber]

Shucky Ducky.

[Brian Bates]

And when he gets a big laugh, he should say, earthquake.

[Graham K]

There's a comedian named Earthquake, by the way.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Very, very fun.

[Graham K]

Very funny.

[Aaron Weber]

Everybody says he kills harder than any than anybody ever has. That's what people say.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know if it's true.

[Dusty Slay]

Earthquakes do kill.

[Graham K]

What about. Somebody help me.

[Aaron Weber]

Somebody. Somebody help me. Yeah, okay.

[Graham K]

Yeah, Please, Please, somebody help me. A long pause and then I go, please.

[Dusty Slay]

That was the name of Aaron's podcast.

[Brian Bates]

Somebody stopped me.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, somebody stopped me.

[Aaron Weber]

Somebody stopped me.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, somebody stopped. They did.

[Aaron Weber]

They sure did. I stopped myself.

[Dusty Slay]

Dusty's book, we're having a Good Time is on pre order.

[Brian Bates]

Get it?

[Dusty Slay]

Now? This is the last time I'm going to mention that till later, but come on.

[Aaron Weber]

Every week we read a new sentence from the book. Read one for us, Graham.

[Graham K]

Just random.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, we got a copy. We're having a good time right here. Any. Any sentence. A lot of pictures in this book. There are a lot of pictures.

[Dusty Slay]

If you're listening, Graham's putting his glasses on.

[Graham K]

When I read that line, I took it personally.

[Dusty Slay]

That sounds like a good book.

[Aaron Weber]

That's really funny. This is a fake book inside of this cover. But that sounded like it could have been from the real book.

[Brian Bates]

Well, yeah, I mean, I do take a lot of stuff personal.

[Aaron Weber]

Personally.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Personally. Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's how we know it wasn't your book. Because they used an adverb correctly.

[Brian Bates]

Well, let me tell you, there's a ghostwriter, and he writes very well. I told you before, I wrote the book. And then they go, let's get another

[Graham K]

guy Yeah, I think that's everybody.

[Dusty Slay]

And Nate's Big Dumb Eyes tour this week. He's in Inglewood, California, May 9th and 10th at Intuit Dome.

[Brian Bates]

Intuit.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I'm into it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You're into it, right?

[Brian Bates]

I'm into it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

PetSmart or Pets Pet Smart.

[Dusty Slay]

Huh? PetSmart.

[Brian Bates]

It's a pet Smart.

[Dusty Slay]

I never thought about that. And Nayeli presents Graham K's Pete and Me. April's National Autism Acceptance Month. That's passed, but it's a humorous and heartfelt special about Graham and his autistic brother.

[Graham K]

Nobody cares.

[Dusty Slay]

Graham, thanks for coming on.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Congrats on the special, bud.

[Graham K]

Thanks, guys.

[Dusty Slay]

I got to tell you, I. Usually when I watch my friend's specials, I take the Aaron Weber approach, which is to watch the first couple of minutes and then fast forward to the credits to see if I mentioned. Yeah, that's Aaron's approach.

[Aaron Weber]

My approach.

[Dusty Slay]

And I was planning on just doing that, and it was so good. I watched the whole thing.

[Graham K]

Oh, thanks.

[Dusty Slay]

You sucked me in.

[Graham K]

I appreciate it.

[Dusty Slay]

It was really, really awesome.

[Graham K]

Yeah, it's a lot for comedians to watch another comedian. It's like, you're done work, and then you're like, well, let's watch work.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, watch somebody else work.

[Brian Bates]

I like to watch him and go, that's a pretty good joke. And then I write that down.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And figure out how to say it on my own. I go, we're talking about the same topic.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say your catchphrase. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

We're having a good time.

[Graham K]

We're having a good time. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

One of the things you talked about that resonated is because Aaron has a daughter with special needs. And he tells me some of the things that people say to him when they come out in public, and some of it is annoying.

[Brian Bates]

Frustrating.

[Aaron Weber]

Of course.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

For the record, the special is about my brother and I. My brother is someone with profound autism.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes. I should have said that.

[Graham K]

That's okay. But it just.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but you talked about how people think he's gonna be like Rain Man.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Doing car tricks and you guys are gonna go to Vegas and stuff like that. And that's not his type of audience.

[Graham K]

No, he's just a good guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

He can't count, but he's a good guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. The special has some really moving moments with you two together. And did you shoot that before or after the special? Or is that just after?

[Graham K]

But I. Look, he's calling me right now. Look at that.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that's Great.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah,

[Aaron Weber]

you can take it if you want.

[Graham K]

Hey, Ernie. Hey, Bert. How you doing, Ernie? Just a sec, I gotta turn on the. There we go. How you doing, buddy? I'm doing a podcast, so I can't talk right now. Who are you with? I'm with. I'm with Brian Bates, Aaron Weber and Dusty Slay. Do you want to say hi to them?

[Brian Bates]

Sure.

[Graham K]

All right, say hi to him. Hello. Hello.

[Aaron Weber]

All right.

[Graham K]

Well, I hope you got the messages I sent through email.

[Aaron Weber]

What were they about?

[Brian Bates]

Well, I first emailed Molly yourself with 10 people for the first time.

[Graham K]

But I did email the 12 year

[Brian Bates]

selves for the second time with some great rearranged photos.

[Graham K]

Oh, of your figurines? Yeah. Okay, well, I'll check them out later. Thanks for talking. I gotta go. I love you, buddy. Bye. Yeah, he sends, he'll ask you if he meets you and go, can I have your email? And people go, okay, sure. And then what they don't understand is now you will be getting pictures of Spider man and Star wars figurines for the rest of your life. You do not have a choice.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, there's no opt out.

[Brian Bates]

Well, you're in it.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I have kids and I like to set up their toys and take pictures of them. I try to do artistic type photos of their. Of their pictures. Yeah. Of their figures. So I'm into it. I bought a train just so I could try to set up a whole scene and run the train through it with a camera.

[Graham K]

Oh, I like that. Yeah, that's fun.

[Aaron Weber]

Around the Christmas tree.

[Brian Bates]

Well, just, you know. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Did it work?

[Brian Bates]

I didn't do it.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a good idea though.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it's a good idea.

[Aaron Weber]

The idea is half the battle.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but you guys answer back and forth. Bert Nurney is Bert Nurney.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm taller. That's what he said.

[Dusty Slay]

So you're burnt.

[Graham K]

Yeah, I'm burnt.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And y' all have done that for years.

[Graham K]

Yeah. He, he, he. So I'm a comic, so I sleep in and I'm trying to wake up early, so. And he likes to. He's good at like, he can get like counting time on a clock. So every morning at 10am he wakes me up and we pretend we're Bert and Ernie. It's part of the special and no matter. And he does it. No matter what I did last the night before, you know, that's just part of it. Yeah. So if I, you know, you went

[Aaron Weber]

to bed at 4am, you're still getting that.

[Graham K]

If I get. If I went to bed at 4. If I was like, late flight doing comedy burn. Are you sick, Burt? Are you sick? Yes, I made myself sick. But no, it's good. It's. It's awesome. And. And I'm waking up earlier. I have a kid now, so. Yeah. Yeah, I'm already awake now when he calls.

[Brian Bates]

Pretty.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Last time I saw you was on the cruise. Nate. Land cruise. That was right before your baby was born.

[Graham K]

Right now I'm a man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's what it takes.

[Brian Bates]

It does make you feel like that when you have a kid. You go, all right, I'm a man now.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And I'm clearly a big fan of your special. So sorry.

[Graham K]

Thank you, Brian. I appreciate that, man. You talked about changing the subject. That's how I'm bad. I'm bad at promoting.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm like, just so you know, he asked us zero questions about our specials, but.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I haven't watched their specials, but

[Graham K]

are you in the cred?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I just fast forward to saying I wasn't.

[Aaron Weber]

So there you go.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm out of here hoping for him.

[Aaron Weber]

You are in the opening, comedian Brian Bates.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think I was listed as that.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, I'll put you on there. Come on.

[Dusty Slay]

Retroactive.

[Aaron Weber]

I put you on there, but now

[Dusty Slay]

you talked about stimming and the TV show, the Simpsons. Apu.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Which is a character that you shouldn't be. No longer. You should no longer be mimicking my brother.

[Graham K]

If you're wondering, like, me is white. Okay. If you're.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah. I was gonna ask.

[Graham K]

And he does a me Napu. He's like very good at it. And he'll do it. It's like part of how he calms himself down. Yeah. Because he does Apu.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

And times have changed. And he'll make me be Sanjay, Apu's brother. And I have to make a decision in the grocery store.

[Aaron Weber]

Like, I think you go full out.

[Graham K]

Do I just, you know, do this minor hate crime or watch my brother flip out and tear up?

[Aaron Weber]

I think you commit to it.

[Graham K]

You have to. You have to.

[Dusty Slay]

You would he flip out?

[Graham K]

Not, not these days. But when he was younger, when he was like going through and he was like 19, 18, he was like very hormonal. And so we'd have to. He's like a 41 year old man now.

[Aaron Weber]

Just.

[Graham K]

But like, he, he. I would have to do it to calm him down. And he's like a big guy and you never know what's gonna happen. So you just, you just do a Poo. And just do a poo. Just two large white dudes doing Indian accents. Yeah. Yeah, you get, you get some weird looks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I thought it was great. I love. About the love push where you gotta get them out of their comfort zone for their own benefit.

[Graham K]

Yeah. That my parents, that's all my parents to like their credit. They're. They were like very. Either like doctors would say he couldn't do this, he was never gonna do. Do this or that. And my parents wouldn't take. Accept that and. And a lot of the things that doctors were right and. But there were some things they weren't right. And my parents tried everything and you never know what someone can do. You know, my brother's a hard worker also, so to his. That's like something that's just innate in him.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

He's not like a, A lazy dude and nothing to do with autism.

[Aaron Weber]

He's just like.

[Graham K]

He'll work hard at something, he'll get frustrated and. But you know, and then. Yeah, you just talk them through it. So a lot of, you know, we had, we had a fish tank and it took a. It was a steep learning curve. You know, there is. There were some dark days in the fish tank.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Graham K]

Dark days.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah. But now they're doing, they're doing well, they're swimming.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's great.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You got a little treasure chest in there.

[Graham K]

Yeah, we got.

[Aaron Weber]

He got some coral reef.

[Graham K]

He bought one before it was just like a prison yard. I was like, pete, you gotta put something in there for those guys to hide around.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, get some leaves. Get some leaves.

[Graham K]

Fake leaves, man. Now they got stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

My favorite story is he talked about having his birthday party at a swimming pool. Public pool. Right.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

His brother had an accident in the pool. Kids were making fun of his brother for it.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You were so frustrated you weren't jumping in to help.

[Graham K]

Yeah, I was like an insecure 12

[Dusty Slay]

year old, like anybody would be. And these two strangers. Guys came out of nowhere in his defense. And they're still friends to this day, right?

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They. I. I knew them from school, but I didn't really know them. And then they like helped. They defended my brother and stuff and. Yeah, it was crazy. It was a. It was a wave pool. And it's not where you want to have an accident.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no.

[Graham K]

Yeah, it was.

[Aaron Weber]

It's.

[Graham K]

That's in the stories. Full stories in the special.

[Brian Bates]

Well, no need to watch it now. I like that you've highlighted everything and. Yeah, no it's very good.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Yeah. I should say. Spoiler alert. Well, it is very good.

[Graham K]

I left out the punchlines.

[Aaron Weber]

I was going to say. Yeah, he's. I mean, I'm going to tune in now.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I love those stories.

[Graham K]

I love.

[Aaron Weber]

What do you call the opposite of a bully? A nice kid.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I felt like these guys were like.

[Graham K]

No, I thought you were. Yeah, that was a street joke. I was like, what?

[Aaron Weber]

I love whatever that is. I love this.

[Graham K]

Good dudes.

[Aaron Weber]

I love hearing those stories.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Good kid.

[Brian Bates]

A hero.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Anyway, Pete and me, Nateland, YouTube. Go check it out. It's great.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, please. Yeah, check it out. You're gonna love it. If you don't, you're bad.

[Aaron Weber]

You're a bad person.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. This podcast exclusive snack, hydration and coffee sponsor, IQ Bar protein Bars. The IQ Mix hydration mixes, those are my favor. And then the IQ Joe mushroom coffees are the delicious, low sugar, brain and body fuel you need to win your day. All of their products are clean, label, certified. You know what that means, Dusty. They're free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs, and artificial ingredients. The IQ Bar's plant protein bars are the smarter snack choice with plenty of plant protein, tons of fiber, no added sugar. Great way to try all of their products is this ultimate sampler pack. I got one right in front of me. I'm taking this home after the podcast. They have nine IKEA bar, IQ bar is in here. You get eight IQ mix sticks and four IQ joe sticks. 25,000. Five star reviews. That many people can't be that wrong. More people than ever are fueling their busy lifestyles with IQ Bars, brain and body boosting, bars mixes and coffees. And right now, IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ bar products, including this sampler pack, plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, text public to 64,000. Text public to 64,000. One more time. That's public to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details.

[Dusty Slay]

Should we get to these comments?

[Aaron Weber]

Let's get into it. Let's start it off.

[Dusty Slay]

Take it off, Aaron.

[Aaron Weber]

The comments, as always, come From Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews and [e-mail] Jennifer Wiley at first I was concerned this podcast wouldn't hold up to the original, but these guys are doing a wonderful job. Thanks for making my Wednesdays good again.

[Brian Bates]

I like that.

[Aaron Weber]

Not. Not great.

[Brian Bates]

I appreciate the Just.

[Dusty Slay]

Just.

[Aaron Weber]

Good.

[Brian Bates]

I appreciate the fate than us, Jennifer. What is this? Ed Wiley's wife.

[Graham K]

And

[Aaron Weber]

that's very nice. Thank you, Jennifer. Appreciate that. We are doing a. You are doing a good job guys.

[Dusty Slay]

Debut.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, well, we do our best to

[Aaron Weber]

pull and everybody around.

[Dusty Slay]

Not maggots. Milwiga. Right. Make Wednesday's good again. What?

[Graham K]

I have no idea. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't understand.

[Graham K]

Special's out on YouTube, everybody.

[Aaron Weber]

Don't say that.

[Brian Bates]

Say it again.

[Graham K]

Yeah, it's called Pete and Me. It was a hit off Broadway play and now you don't have to go to New York. Just watch it on YouTube.

[Brian Bates]

Make Wednesday.

[Dusty Slay]

Make Wednesday good again.

[Graham K]

It's on the Nate landscape. Okay, that's better. That's better.

[Aaron Weber]

Kb I'm a major Aaron fan and have been since the beginning. Thanks, Katie. Andrew Montgomery. Dust. I'm a major Aaron fan. It happened since the beginning. I took him for granted until he missed a few shows around Olive's birth. You guys are all very funny comics and each has your role. Brian is the researcher and anchor. Slows us down. Aaron is the humble intellectual.

[Dusty Slay]

Which one of those is accurate?

[Graham K]

Both.

[Brian Bates]

Pretty inaccurate.

[Graham K]

Both.

[Aaron Weber]

Which one's more accurate?

[Graham K]

Do you think?

[Brian Bates]

I would say it's more accurate to call you intellectual?

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, I'm so humble. I could be so much less humble if I wanted to.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what I mean?

[Brian Bates]

Do it. Do the. Be unhumble.

[Dusty Slay]

He's the most humble.

[Aaron Weber]

Unhumble. Why don't you research some of these words and then wait till a chance to talk. And Dusty is the oppositional. Defiant. You're a great team and I look forward to you every Wednesday. Thank you.

[Dusty Slay]

Nobody's funny.

[Commercial Announcer]

We're humble and smart.

[Brian Bates]

Kb. What's that stand for? Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

I was joking, by the way. That's a funny thing to say. I. I'm humble. I could be so much less humble because you're being. You understand? Do you get all this? Do I need to slow down?

[Dusty Slay]

If you say, like, I'm the most humble person you'll ever find.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And I have so many things going on. I could be arrogant if I wanted to be. You know what I mean?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm doing so well. I could be so arrogant.

[Graham K]

It's really nice.

[Aaron Weber]

But I'm not.

[Brian Bates]

You're.

[Aaron Weber]

I keep it humble. I keep it grounded.

[Graham K]

Thank you.

[Aaron Weber]

Like, I gotta hang. I hang around people like you.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And that keeps me on earth.

[Graham K]

Lower. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I feel that keeps me lower. Yeah. You're so funny because you're at Kathleen Madigan was Just in that chair, and she had it cranked all the way up to the top. So now you're like two feet taller than us at the table.

[Graham K]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You can lower it if you want.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. It's up to you.

[Aaron Weber]

Do whatever you want. See, now we're at the same level.

[Graham K]

Right. That was kind of undermining what you were saying before the last bit.

[Aaron Weber]

I was looking up to you when I was saying it.

[Graham K]

Yeah, that was weird. It's like an ego thingy.

[Aaron Weber]

Andrew Montgomery. Dusty says he hates country rap, but also seems to really like the Bellamy Brothers. You could argue they were founders of the genre with their song literally called country rap.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I'm sure. But country rap is not the Bellamy Brothers. I like, you know, I like old hippie. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I like. There's a. You know, and then there's a great lyric. What's that? Let your love flow. That's a good one. Also, they have a new one called There Ain't no Country Music for Old Men with John Anderson, and it's a great.

[Aaron Weber]

They're still making songs.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, that's the latest song.

[Aaron Weber]

Good for them.

[Brian Bates]

That's just the Bellamy Brother. Country music. Are they both alive for old men? Yeah, I think they're both alive. There Ain't no Country Music for Old Men is a great song. You'd like it. All right.

[Aaron Weber]

Roxanne Fauxber. Brian. I'm from Ottawa. You said it right. So this is how Brian. This is how Brian said Ottawa earlier. How'd you say it?

[Dusty Slay]

Ottawa.

[Aaron Weber]

Ottawa.

[Graham K]

It's my hometown.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that how you say Ottawa?

[Graham K]

I think you all. All of you said it the same.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, but no, we're Ottawa. He's Ottawa.

[Brian Bates]

Ottawa.

[Graham K]

I. I can't. I mean, it sounds.

[Dusty Slay]

I had it right.

[Graham K]

Ottawa. You can say it both ways.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Graham K]

I'm pretty sure you can say it both ways.

[Aaron Weber]

That's the Canadian. Yeah. Because I just want everyone to be happy.

[Graham K]

Well, I don't think anybody.

[Dusty Slay]

I think it was more.

[Graham K]

I think people say it both ways in Ottawa.

[Aaron Weber]

We're trying to just make fun of Brian.

[Graham K]

Brian, come on, man. You insulted my hometown and my country.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm the only one that said it right.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That is not how they said it.

[Aaron Weber]

Brian goes, come see the big Demise tour in Ottawa this week. That's how you said it. And then we laughed rightfully so for.

[Brian Bates]

Sounded like he said victimized tour.

[Dusty Slay]

But you said I said it wrong, and clearly I didn't.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, according To Roxanne Faubart.

[Graham K]

She's a very Ottawa name, by the way.

[Aaron Weber]

Is it really Faubert?

[Graham K]

Roxanne Faubert?

[Brian Bates]

I thought it was Faubert.

[Aaron Weber]

It could have been Fobert. I have no idea.

[Graham K]

It's definitely not Faubert. That should never be anyone's last name.

[Aaron Weber]

Aaron J. Graham K. Has been one of my favorite podcast guests, but he hasn't been on since episode 73. Bring him back.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, he hasn't been on.

[Aaron Weber]

Here he is.

[Brian Bates]

That was an old podcast.

[Aaron Weber]

That's an old podcast.

[Graham K]

Yeah, it's a different I'm on episode. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

13. What is this? 13? 14.

[Brian Bates]

One time I guess you guys made fun of me.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, you said 78.

[Graham K]

Oh, yeah, I saw that episode.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Whoa. Welcome back, Graham. Greg Harmer.

[Graham K]

Harmer.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Beware.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Beware of the harmer.

[Graham K]

Mr. Harmer.

[Aaron Weber]

Mr. Harmer. He'll get in there. He'll hurt you. Do y' all ever find yourselves laughing as to air quit something that wasn't supposed to be that funny?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. The whole podcast.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I asked. Yeah, yeah. Listen to one of the ad reads. I ask because on the Canada episode with Graham, he tells us the story of 17 men who carried out the great Canadian Canadian syrup heist in 2012. Graham then follows that up with and they were all named Jack. I laughed so loud and hard I had to re. Listen five or six times to get the giggles out completely.

[Dusty Slay]

How you say it?

[Brian Bates]

I think it's Jock. Jock.

[Dusty Slay]

Here. Graham, honey.

[Aaron Weber]

J, A, C, Q, U, E, S. Jacques. Jacques. And they were all named Jacques.

[Graham K]

Jacques. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Well, Greg, I think that was supposed to be funny, but I don't get.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't get the joke there.

[Graham K]

They're all French Canadians.

[Aaron Weber]

I thought it was a syrup pun. Yeah, they were all named Mrs. Buttersworth.

[Graham K]

I like how this the guy writing in and you both didn't get it, but yeah, for different reasons.

[Dusty Slay]

Greg loved it.

[Brian Bates]

It wasn't supposed to be that funny, but I laughed.

[Graham K]

Yeah. Thanks.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah,

[Graham K]

thanks, Greg.

[Aaron Weber]

Robin Crawford Khan. As the mom of a 33 year old daughter with special needs, I found Graham Special to be very heartwarming, entertaining, funny, real. All the things I related to so much of what he said. I've watched it twice so far.

[Graham K]

Oh, wow. Thanks. All right.

[Aaron Weber]

That's really great. Appreciate it.

[Brian Bates]

Very nice.

[Aaron Weber]

Shout out. Robin Crawford Khan.

[Graham K]

Thanks.

[Brian Bates]

Robin Khan. Last name. Sounds like you don't want her to compliment you too much because she may be pulling you in on some kind of con.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Con woman.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, she said she did not like Aaron special, so I think she's sincere.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. She gets it.

[Aaron Weber]

You took that one out of the. Jude. My name is Jude and I am a huge fan of all you comedians and love that you guys keep it family friendly. I'm 15 years old and I believe I am destined for comedy one day. I love making people laugh and I do it all the time at school. Is there any advice you guys have for future comedian?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I don't. First off, I would just go ahead and not believe that you're destined for comedy. Go ahead, you know, get rid of that idea and just say you'd like to do it one day.

[Graham K]

Yeah, well.

[Brian Bates]

And do it.

[Aaron Weber]

We're trying to harden you the way you need to be hardened.

[Graham K]

I would say. I would say doing it.

[Aaron Weber]

Just do it.

[Graham K]

Do anything that you want to do in life. You people don't know what he does. It's. Nobody does anything that they want to do. And you'll hear your whole life is to do it.

[Aaron Weber]

You'll hear your whole life. I've always wanted to try. People go, I've always wanted to. You know what I mean? Yeah, you got to do it.

[Brian Bates]

I think it'd be better off to be a chiropractor or something like that. Just go, go ahead and do that.

[Dusty Slay]

Any reason?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I mean, it's a, you know, it's a sure business, you know.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I think you need everybody telling you not to do it out of all

[Graham K]

the short you went with.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's what my dad wanted me to be as a chiropractor.

[Graham K]

He wanted you to be a chiropractor?

[Dusty Slay]

His brother was a doctor.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, his brother was a chiropractor. And I think my dad wanted free adjustments.

[Graham K]

I see.

[Aaron Weber]

That would be so great to have in the family.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Just. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

My dad used to.

[Aaron Weber]

Maybe a masseuse, too.

[Brian Bates]

My dad used to do chiropractic adjustments for people. They come over to his house off the books. Yeah. And he would give them, you know, he would do the neck.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you have to sign a waiver or anything like that?

[Graham K]

No. So your dad was not a chiropractor?

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Graham K]

But your uncle was a chiropractor, but your dad would do chiropractic adjustments.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Was your dad jealous of your brother? His brother.

[Graham K]

No.

[Brian Bates]

His brother was much older than him. I think he really looked up to him.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. So it's kind of sweet in a way.

[Brian Bates]

In a way?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I like that. Well, Jude, good luck, man.

[Graham K]

I mean, try chiropractor. It's a sure thing.

[Brian Bates]

Jude, there's tons of advice out there.

[Graham K]

There's a lot of people say, like, electrical, plumbing, sure thing.

[Aaron Weber]

But chiropractor, you know, they used to say the talking point was always the post office that will always be around.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And then the world changed a lot. You know what I mean? I mean, the post office is still around, but I don't think it has the same kind of guaranteed job security that it did in, like, the 70s.

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Graham K]

They're delivering my mail in, like, jeans now.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Graham K]

Sometimes each year they're losing a piece of the uniform.

[Brian Bates]

Sometimes on a Saturday, it won't even be a male truck, you know, it'll just be some kind of.

[Aaron Weber]

It'll be a sedan.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, they're just coming around.

[Graham K]

It's like a paper route.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like. It's like mail that got lost. They're like. Yeah, getting your. Just get in your regular truck and go around and deliver this.

[Dusty Slay]

Dusty, I went on a real AI Rabbit hole this weekend.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah?

[Dusty Slay]

Listen to some podcasts. The. About how they're going to take over the world. AI is going to take over the world. Videos. I mean, I went deep.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Like, were you getting fooled by some AI posts on Facebook?

[Graham K]

Were the podcast you're listening to made by AI? Think about that.

[Aaron Weber]

It could have been, and you wouldn't even know.

[Brian Bates]

I've been deep into AI too. I've been using SUNO to make songs.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, that's the opposite.

[Brian Bates]

That's.

[Dusty Slay]

You're part of the problem. I'm trying to stop it from taking over the world.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I try to talk to you guys about that for. For months, and you guys beat me down. And now I'm making. Making music. I have. I have an album I've created. I have nine songs so far that I really like.

[Dusty Slay]

And Dusty Slay sings the hits.

[Brian Bates]

I'm. I mean, SUNO is great. I mean, musicians hate it.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm sure it's your voice.

[Brian Bates]

No, no. I mean, they're really good songs.

[Dusty Slay]

Who sings them?

[Brian Bates]

Just AI.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh.

[Brian Bates]

It takes about 10 seconds. It's pretty amazing. You put in. I write all the lyrics and then I tell it what kind of genre I want it to be and the different tones and stuff like that. Instrumental breaks and then it sounds really artistically fulfilling.

[Graham K]

It is.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So you're fine with AI Take over the World so you can make some fun videos?

[Brian Bates]

Well, it's just. It's going to happen.

[Graham K]

Well, we got to start just no drinking water. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brian Bates]

It's going to happen. A lot of people think we're going

[Aaron Weber]

to run out of water.

[Brian Bates]

A lot of people think the data centers aren't using the water, that all the water is being used for the underground cities that the elites have.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, okay. Well, that would change my view on it for sure if that were true. I have no idea. I haven't looked into that. I'll ask. I'll ask ChatGPT about it later.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, the gist of it is, we'll

[Aaron Weber]

get to the bottom of it.

[Dusty Slay]

Let me know there's an AI arms race.

[Graham K]

Send me a letter in the mail. Your results.

[Aaron Weber]

Handwritten letter.

[Graham K]

It's the only thing we can trust. A man with jeans will deliver to me in eight months.

[Brian Bates]

I'll say this. I had my special Working man that was on Netflix. I have it back now, so I'm probably gonna put it on YouTube. And at the beginning of it, they had a graphic made, and the graphic said, a Netflix comedy special. And it matched the title of my special on the video. And so I reached out to some people and I was like, hey, can you fix this and make it say something else? Because I still want it to match. And somebody got back to me and they said, I'll reach out to my graphics guy. It'll probably take about two weeks. I said, okay. And then I went on ChatGPT, and I just typed in, can you replace the word Netflix with this? Lot 8. Lot 8 is my company, and it took 10 seconds, and it looks perfect. Cost me nothing but a few gallons of drinking water, and it looks perfect. So I'm not saying that it's good, but I'm saying versus someone saying, well,

[Dusty Slay]

you have an account with them, right?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So it did cost you something.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. But someone's saying, it'll take me two weeks versus instantaneous. It's like we've been like, I feel bad for graphic designers in a way, but we've been at their mercy for so long. Who remembers the days of messaging? The one guy that, you know that can create a comedy poster, he goes, oh, I'm real busy right now, but I'll get back to you when I can. And you're, like, hounding him. Hey, can you make that poster? Can you make. I got some good people now. But I'm saying, back in the day, you're hounding them. Can you make that poster? Can you make that poster? Finally, they get it to you. ChatGPT right away.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what? I've yet to see a good one, but I'm Excited to see a good,

[Brian Bates]

there's not good ones with people's faces on it. You got to avoid that.

[Aaron Weber]

Even without. I've yet to see one that I think is good.

[Graham K]

Yeah, I made one with, not Chat, but with like AI and it was, it's awful.

[Aaron Weber]

I, I, I'm, I'm, oh, I'm, I'd love to see it.

[Brian Bates]

You have a weird pickiness that I can't figure out. So I would, I could.

[Aaron Weber]

About what?

[Brian Bates]

About any kind of stylistic thing and I could send it to you and I think it's great. And then you could go, that sucks.

[Aaron Weber]

Maybe. Yeah, maybe. But yeah, I'd love to see, I'd love to see a good poster done entirely through AI.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, anyway, I was going to tell you how they're taking over the world, but sure, now talk about your posters.

[Brian Bates]

Now keep going.

[Graham K]

How are they taking over the world?

[Brian Bates]

There's how I feel. Brian, I try to tell you, once

[Dusty Slay]

you get on board with.

[Brian Bates]

I try to tell you the country's falling apart all the time and you.

[Dusty Slay]

It's more than the country, it's the world. There's an arms race going on and all these countries are racing to create the best AI and they're going so fast, there's no guardrails up. And pretty soon, you know, at the least, they're going to wipe out all the jobs and the AI CEOs are going to be, you know, trillionaires Running, running the world. And at the worst, AI is going to be running the world. Chat. GPT is going to be the.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, we think driverless cars are bad right now, like, but wait till they're driverless. Diesels, 18 wheelers, and there's no more truck drivers. All those jobs are going to get

[Aaron Weber]

wiped out, but you're going to have five albums out.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I'll be one of those trillionaires.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Just for music.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

There was an example of. I'm sorry to get off on this, but I just. Claude, which is, yeah, Anthropics.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Guy, they tested it and they put in some fake emails saying we're going to shut Claude down or whatever. Shut down the program. They also planted some fake email saying that somebody was having an affair with somebody in the company. It was that person was the one that was going to shut him down. And he, Claude himself messaged that person, said, I will blackmail you if you try to shut me down. I will, I will put this information out about your affair.

[Graham K]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. So what's Claude, that's like ChatGPT or Grok. Anthropic version of it.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Everybody says it's the best people that use it, but. Yeah, that's pretty terrifying.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So pretty terrifying. What do you recommend? What do you. What should we do?

[Dusty Slay]

We got to. We got to stop using it.

[Graham K]

You think?

[Aaron Weber]

You have to just. We all just have to agree to stop using now.

[Dusty Slay]

I think Congress needs to. We got to have some laws.

[Aaron Weber]

You got to regulate.

[Dusty Slay]

Regulate it and slow down the development.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, they'll probably regulate it in a way that makes it not easy for us to use, but they can use it just fine. And they'll give it to all the corporations and they can use it, but we're not allowed to use it.

[Graham K]

It'll take our jobs. But we'll have good posters.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, exactly.

[Graham K]

And that'll be good. And they'll just do a better special about autism.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Pete and us. Yeah. Whoa.

[Graham K]

Claude and me.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, no.

[Graham K]

Claude. No.

[Aaron Weber]

But anyway, Jude, good luck.

[Brian Bates]

But it is a. No, it is a danger, though. I mean, I've said it for a long time. I mean, it is dangerous.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I agree.

[Brian Bates]

I'm just a man, Right. And I'm. I'm tempted. Like, I've always wanted to create songs. Musicians will never record my lyrics. I write lyrics. They'll never make a song out of them.

[Graham K]

What do you mean they'll never.

[Brian Bates]

Well, they just won't do it.

[Aaron Weber]

You've tried.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

And they said, I will not do this.

[Brian Bates]

They just. They don't say.

[Dusty Slay]

They're like, we'd rather AI do, but

[Aaron Weber]

can you imagine some guy going, I write all these jokes and Dusty will never tell them on stage.

[Brian Bates]

I'm not saying they're wrong, but I'm saying they never do it. And so now I have the software to do it.

[Graham K]

You could. You know what you could do? The original software is a guitar.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

And then you could just. You could just learn three chords. You gotta put in the work, do all those things.

[Dusty Slay]

Three chords.

[Graham K]

In the truth, you would feel. Do you think you would feel more fulfilled and more, like, connected, you know, when you work hard and you achieve something and you feel. You feel something, but, like, typing it in, you probably get a little hit of that dopamine. But not like, it can't be. I don't know. And also, like the. I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know. I've already worked hard, you know, to do comedy and, you know, maybe there'll be a time.

[Dusty Slay]

But I've heard one of your Songs.

[Brian Bates]

Which one?

[Dusty Slay]

Giggle boy.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, Goggle boy.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, Goggle boy.

[Brian Bates]

Goggle boy. Yeah. That was one I made for my son.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Bates]

But that was just a fun one off the video. I caught some raccoons eating some meat in my yard on a trail cam and I made a. AI I believe that to go along with that. Yeah,

[Dusty Slay]

you're making some deep stuff.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but Jude, just, just hit an open mic, you know, do some open mics.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Save your water. Save your water.

[Aaron Weber]

My actual advice, don't be in a rush to do stand up. Don't be afraid to live a little bit of a life.

[Dusty Slay]

Take the Brian Bates, folks.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Maybe not that long.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Nobody wants to hear about stuff that, you know, a 15 year old is doing. No offense, but you want to get out, have some life experience, and then you have something to talk about.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I think that's fair. Is that fair?

[Brian Bates]

Get a job that you're going to hate and that everyone will relate to you hating that job. And then milk that for as long as you can.

[Graham K]

Honestly, that's great advice.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Nora Barretti. I do not understand why production companies are passing on Dusty's idea for a TV show called the Rearranger.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

The whole idea is perfect. It would be so funny and I think it would have a huge audience. I really hope Dusty keeps pursuing this and I really hope someone picks it up. We talked about this a little bit on the last episode, but this is an idea that Dusty's had for a TV show for a long time. Dusty, do you want to explain it one more time?

[Brian Bates]

Well, like, let's say you have somebody that, you know that has a messy house and you go in there and you go, you got your, your setup is all wrong.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You go in. I'm the rearranger. I go in and I go, all right, this, I can't bring in anything. I can bring in tools to, to put stuff up, put shelves, but I can't bring in the shelves. Yeah, I gotta find things that you have in your house, rearrange it, organize it, make it better.

[Graham K]

I love that. Yeah, I, I, I think I have an innate skill with that. Yeah, I love seeing it. I love, I would love to watch that show.

[Brian Bates]

Let's do it.

[Graham K]

I would love to.

[Aaron Weber]

You can maybe even a guest be a guest rearranger.

[Graham K]

I would love to be a guest rearrange.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe you could come in and help.

[Graham K]

I'm one of the best rearrangers that I've ever met. Well, I've turned People's lives around.

[Brian Bates]

Well, me too. Yeah, me too.

[Graham K]

Okay. I mean, you came up with the show. I'm sure you're really good at it.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, maybe I get you to come in and help rearrange higher stuff. I can't reach

[Graham K]

the top shelf. I guess we'll have to have a rearrange off.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, we will.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, he could do the Canadian version.

[Brian Bates]

I did pitch a gardening show in Ottawa.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Toronto.

[Brian Bates]

I pitched a gardening show that Zach Galifianakis is doing now.

[Graham K]

Oh, yeah, he's doing it in Canada.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, is he really?

[Aaron Weber]

That's too bad.

[Dusty Slay]

Are you saying they admit that your idea.

[Brian Bates]

No, they never admit it.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Many of my ideas you sold it to. Many of my ideas have been stolen.

[Graham K]

But yeah, the iPhone. Squatty Potty.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, these are all my ideas.

[Aaron Weber]

Squatty Body. Unbelievable, by the way.

[Brian Bates]

You like it?

[Graham K]

Yeah, I don't.

[Brian Bates]

I'm not.

[Graham K]

I don't get it. I've tried it. I don't even. Even if it did work for me, which it doesn't. I don't want to speed that up. I need that. I like. I like that. It takes some time. I need some time.

[Aaron Weber]

It's not. It's not even just a question of time.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It's. It's.

[Graham K]

Why would I want to speed up the only time a day that I get to relax.

[Aaron Weber]

But it's not just speeding it up. It's a more efficient everything.

[Brian Bates]

I find that the supplement magnesium is way more effective than the squatty potty.

[Graham K]

I think you would. I.

[Aaron Weber]

In principle, you should be so in favor of the squatty potty.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't even know what the squatty potty is.

[Brian Bates]

It's.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a. It's like a stool that you put in front of a toilet that you put your feet on. And what it's supposed to do is turn your body into more of a squatting of a squat, which is how. Supposed to be squatted, which is how human beings use the restroom for, you

[Graham K]

know, 6,000 years, our insides go like this. And then when you squat, it straightens it out. Suppose, you know, and it makes it easier.

[Dusty Slay]

And how long have.

[Aaron Weber]

Because we weren't built to sit down and use the back, a lot of

[Brian Bates]

countries do still squat down in a hole and then. Not like third World.

[Graham K]

No, Japan.

[Dusty Slay]

Japan's question.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know it to say it,

[Aaron Weber]

but I don't think Japan does. But some places.

[Graham K]

No. Japan has like the best toilets in the world, actually.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Clawed toilets.

[Brian Bates]

They have cl.

[Graham K]

Toilet they have clogged toilets.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

They're taking over, and it's good. I would like it if Japan toilets took over. It'd be a good society.

[Brian Bates]

Japan seems great. I really want to take a trip to Japan.

[Graham K]

I went for the first time in my life, which I guess would also be the first time. A year. A year and a half ago.

[Brian Bates]

Year. Where did you go?

[Graham K]

January 2023 5. I went to Tokyo for a week with Shane Torres.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. Do some shows out there.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah. And Brittany Carney, if you know her. Very, very funny comics.

[Aaron Weber]

I do. Brittany Carney from D.C. yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah. And. And a few other comedians. And we. We rented a Airbnb. It was awesome. And it was. We just stayed in Tokyo. We went. We took, like, a day trip out to, like, some spa area, but mostly just stayed in Tokyo and.

[Aaron Weber]

That's great.

[Graham K]

Zipped around and stuff. It's fun.

[Dusty Slay]

I've been to Japan.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

I have.

[Brian Bates]

World War II.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. 19.

[Graham K]

1945.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Sorry.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Is that really necessary?

[Dusty Slay]

Squatty potty over here.

[Brian Bates]

That's all right.

[Dusty Slay]

We did go to Nagasaki.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

To visit it. The memorial there. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Is the memorial where the bomb detonated, like, the exact spot?

[Dusty Slay]

I think so, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

What did you do there?

[Dusty Slay]

I had a friend that.

[Graham K]

To move it outside.

[Dusty Slay]

I had a friend who was there for a year teaching English as a second language, and I just went to visit him.

[Brian Bates]

That's cool.

[Dusty Slay]

Hung out with him.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that's cool.

[Dusty Slay]

So I never went to Tokyo. It was in Kyushu, which is one of the more remote islands.

[Brian Bates]

See, that's where I want to go. To the remote places.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. So, I mean, even some of these remote cities were very populated, but out in the country and just in those

[Graham K]

remote islands, up until the 1970s, they were still finding Japanese soldiers in the woods who thought World War II was still happening.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow, that's so crazy. They're like, chill, man.

[Graham K]

See your family. They're like, yeah, right? Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Nice try, nice try, nice try.

[Brian Bates]

That's what I want to go to these hot. Hot springs and just eat sushi all day, and just. That's what I want to do. I think that would be very fun and relaxing.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Sounds great.

[Graham K]

It was. They. They have the. They have two sides, men and women's sides. There is a hole you can look through to see the other side, though. I'm kidding. But yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You have.

[Graham K]

You have to be naked, and you're not allowed to have tattoos. And there was one where you could have tattoos, but you couldn't have Too many tattoos. And two people who have tattoos could not check in together.

[Brian Bates]

Right. I don't have any tattoos, so.

[Graham K]

Yeah, because there were. Because tattoos means you're in a gang. They didn't want like two gang members sitting in a hot tub.

[Brian Bates]

That sounds like.

[Aaron Weber]

I agree with all that. I agree with that.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I don't think any of us have tattoos.

[Graham K]

Me and Shane Torres.

[Dusty Slay]

What should we have for.

[Graham K]

For dinner tonight? Do you have tattoos? I have a. Yeah, like three.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Graham K]

Yeah. And I got them. I got them like, way too late in my life.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Like I should have gotten 10 years before. And I was like, you know, it was just before it would be a midlife crisis, like six months before.

[Aaron Weber]

On the cusp.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Tanya, Noaks. I was wondering what you guys thought or what your feelings were when you went out with Nate to the bigger venues for the first time after doing the smaller ones.

[Brian Bates]

So long.

[Aaron Weber]

Love the podcast and all. Yalls comedy.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I do bigger shows, so I don't. I do theater, so, you know.

[Graham K]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

You know, so I don't know, maybe you guys.

[Aaron Weber]

It was hard for Dusty to only do eight minutes.

[Graham K]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if you are the most humble. I think you have a. More.

[Aaron Weber]

Honestly, it was just. It was just a pleasure to be there.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And honestly is the honor of a lifetime.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't. I mean, I. I did a lot of clubs with him and then he transferred into theaters and with Nate.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, Brian's been there. You've been there since the beginning, right. I mean, you were Nate's guy for so long on the road with him.

[Dusty Slay]

Certainly once he moved back to Tennessee like before.

[Aaron Weber]

Before he was selling tickets.

[Graham K]

Really?

[Aaron Weber]

At all.

[Brian Bates]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, he was already doing well, but I mean, headlining weekends at clubs, but not necessarily selling them out.

[Graham K]

I remember I opened for Nate in like 2011 and he was excited because him and his agent had booked like a hundred seater where it's a door deal.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Graham K]

And he was like, well, we're trying to see how that goes. Do a door deal instead of doing a comedy club at like a music venue. And I was like, whoa, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. And then he paid for my motel and you're like. I was like, whoa, Nate can pay for my motel?

[Dusty Slay]

This is crazy.

[Aaron Weber]

He doesn't do that anymore, though.

[Graham K]

Yeah. No.

[Aaron Weber]

Where.

[Brian Bates]

Where, where was the show at?

[Graham K]

This was in. Oh, this is. This is. This is. We did like a. A few shows in Washington state and we did one show at a theater and it was like, let's say it was a 2,000 seat theater. But we didn't. He didn't sell enough tickets. So what they did is they flipped it around so you would stand on the stage facing like your back would be to all the seats. And then it was like 100 seats on the stage. Everything was on the stage. You were on the stage, the audience was on the stage.

[Brian Bates]

And then you could see all the

[Graham K]

empty seats behind you is like 1500 empty seats. And Nate was like, one day we're

[Aaron Weber]

going to flip this around.

[Graham K]

That's the word. That's the. We're going to try and flip this around. And you know, and I.

[Aaron Weber]

That's cool.

[Graham K]

I said, no, there's no way.

[Brian Bates]

Now he's still doing. He's still doing the round, but now they're full.

[Graham K]

Now behind him is quite a few people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It was pretty crazy early days of the round. Yeah.

[Graham K]

Roger Wall E. I headlined that place. Oh, yeah. Same way. Obviously they went sideways. Empty.

[Aaron Weber]

They went sideways.

[Graham K]

There was three people in front of me. And then. But I. That's. I and I. That's when I had. It was like 20. It was March 2020. And I was like, I can't kick this flu. I'm so sick up there.

[Dusty Slay]

Anyway, so you were the first people had covet.

[Graham K]

I definitely spread it to Washington.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's where it started.

[Graham K]

Yeah, man.

[Aaron Weber]

So, yeah, that was. That was it.

[Graham K]

You're patient zero for the west coast. I might have done it. I like did a. I did comedy on a cruise ship and then went straight to the west coast. Oh, my gosh.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Graham K]

Rental car coughed on it.

[Aaron Weber]

Like everything they said, please don't do.

[Graham K]

Yeah. It was like two weeks before they told us. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Support for today's episode comes from Square. The system powering like half the places I go. If you've ever tapped to pay and thought, whoa, that was fast, it was probably square. Whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, or selling merch, like we all do, square helps you run your business without running yourself into the ground. We all use it to sell our merch after shows. That's how much we love it. That is true. Y and right now, listeners can get up to $200 off square hardware when you sign up at square.com go nate. That's s q u a r e dot com go slash nate. Visit Square to get started because the right tools make all the difference. I personally do use square after my shows. It's so easy because they can just pick up a T shirt or hat and can hit tap and we take a pic together. That's true. I can do it right on my phone. It even has easy receipts. Receipts. Square isn't just fast. It's smart, transparent, and built for the way people actually run their business. No contracts, no hidden fees, no complicated installs. Square has great features. They accept all major payment methods. Tap, chip, Apple pay online let you see sales and inventory in real time across every channel. It works for one location shops and businesses with multiple teams or service areas. If you're starting a business or running one, that deserves better tools. Square helps you sell, manage and grow without slowing down. Right now you can get up to 200 off square [e-mail]. go Nate. That's s q u s a r e dot com. G o slash Nate. Run your business smarter with square. Get started today.

[Aaron Weber]

Roger Whale loved this podcast and thought I would add some differences on things we say in Canada. Specifically where, where I am from in Southern Ontario, an 18 wheeler or tractor trailer, semi truck is called a transport truck. Yeah. Electricity bill is a hydro bill. Oh, and our milk comes in bags.

[Graham K]

Yeah. Every household in Canada has a little. It looks just like a water jug that's like plastic. And it's specifically to put bags of milk in. And you cut the corner and everybody has a little magnet on their fridge with a little hook thing.

[Aaron Weber]

And you cut the corner like Franzia.

[Graham K]

Like, I don't know what that means.

[Aaron Weber]

Like, like boxed wine. You slap the bag of milk. Y' all know what I'm talking about.

[Brian Bates]

I've drank out of it.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Graham K]

Yeah. And it's. I guess, I mean, this is. I guess it was just more efficient, but I guess it's more.

[Dusty Slay]

So you come, you come up with a bag of milk. You take the thing, refrigerator, cut it open and then pour it into a jug.

[Graham K]

No, no, you take the bag of milk and then you. It's still in the bag. It's not open.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

And then you, you just put it in the jug and it makes like a gross noise. When you're a kid. It's hilarious. You like try and put it down. It's like get the. And then, you know, there's. And anyway. And then there's a. Now there's like a bag and a jug and then you cut the corner. Wow. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Huh?

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Any other drinks come that way or that's just milk.

[Graham K]

Just milk.

[Aaron Weber]

Just milk.

[Graham K]

It's weird.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

It's something you don't think about. Then you leave and you're like, so

[Aaron Weber]

now that you've been in America so long and you. I mean, do you prefer our Joe?

[Graham K]

No. I don't know what to do. I just take scissors to it. I stab it with knives. I go, mom, help me. I'm sorry. Milk's all over the place, you know. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Hydro bill.

[Graham K]

Hydro bill. Also, one thing that we say different in Canada. That, like, as a Canadian, he probably doesn't even know we say this differently. But you have to move to America to know. We say. We say pasta instead of pasta.

[Brian Bates]

My wife says it all the time.

[Graham K]

Yeah, and it'll. I was. I.

[Brian Bates]

You.

[Graham K]

You'll be in a party. It'll stop, like, record scratch. Everyone will just stop their conversation. What did he say? Pasta.

[Brian Bates]

Pasta.

[Graham K]

It's like the only fancy bougie word you guys say over us. You got. You got. You guys say it like you're like Harvard Lums.

[Aaron Weber]

Pasta, pasta, pasta. Go to the Olive Garden for all you can eat pasta.

[Graham K]

That's how you say it. We say pasta.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, pasta. Pasta does sound. Yeah, it sounds a little more blue collar.

[Brian Bates]

What about necklaces?

[Dusty Slay]

My.

[Brian Bates]

My wife will say necklace, and she thinks. She thinks it may be.

[Graham K]

I think it is Canadian. That's true. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I think we probably like, you're wearing one right now. Don't think about it. What would you say you're wearing?

[Graham K]

Lace. Neck piece. A prime minister's laced neck piece.

[Aaron Weber]

Neck piece.

[Graham K]

A neck. Necklace. Chain. I would say. I think that, like, neck lace feels feminine. I would say necklace. Mm.

[Aaron Weber]

But if you were a woman, you would say necklace. Maybe it depends on the necklace.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, like, it's a puka shell necklace.

[Brian Bates]

You know, necklace actually sounds like you don't have a neck.

[Graham K]

Yeah, that's right. That's a good point. Necklace.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah. You can't have a necklace if you're

[Aaron Weber]

necklace,

[Graham K]

in my opinion.

[Aaron Weber]

That's what I've always said. Yeah. Next comment. The last comment and this last one

[Dusty Slay]

I sent you a link to.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, we got it pulled up. The next comment comes from Tanner Baldridge. I looked up Dusty's book to pre order and found this in the Amazon recommendations. Have you guys seen this? Is it real? Is this Dusty's alias?

[Brian Bates]

I own a copy of that matter of fact, but it is not me.

[Aaron Weber]

This is on Amazon. It's called Wet the Dusty Sleigh Story How a Pesticide Salesman from Alabama Became America's Beloved Slave. Southern comedy.

[Graham K]

You don't know about this?

[Brian Bates]

Oh, I know about it. I Have a copy.

[Graham K]

But you didn't write this. You didn't get any money from it.

[Brian Bates]

James E. Mole wrote it.

[Graham K]

This is somebody real?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Is it AI?

[Brian Bates]

Did he do it's AI.

[Graham K]

They made AI.

[Brian Bates]

I think it's AI.

[Graham K]

Yeah. See, there you go.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Graham K]

They're stealing from you.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I mean, it is what it is. I don't. I mean, I.

[Dusty Slay]

Is it good?

[Brian Bates]

I didn't read it. Somebody at a club, they were at a theater, they bought a bunch of things for me for the green room, and they bought this. I think they thought it was mine. But yeah, it's James E. Mole here.

[Graham K]

It's not a real name for sure. And I bet you that guy or whatever, whoever's doing that has that for every celebrity and that's their little, like, scheme to make money.

[Dusty Slay]

I want to know.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I want to know what the

[Dusty Slay]

New York years were that almost killed your dream.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that was one.

[Brian Bates]

Was it?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's. Inside these pages, you'll discover the heartbreaking childhood moment that sparked his comedy genius. Drinking gas, maybe?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I mean, that's that. There was none. There was no heartbreaking childhood moment.

[Aaron Weber]

How a failed pesticide salesman. First of all, I think you were very good at your.

[Brian Bates]

I was actually very good. My boss was pretty upset when I decided to quit.

[Graham K]

Has you heard about Pesty?

[Aaron Weber]

The New York years that nearly destroyed his dream.

[Brian Bates]

Actually, the New York. The. The one month that I spent in New York hanging out was probably what sparked me wanting to do comedy more than ever.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, so we're over three so far.

[Dusty Slay]

Didn't you meet your wife in New York?

[Brian Bates]

I did.

[Aaron Weber]

The pivotal decision that led him from Charleston's comedy clubs to the Grand Ole Opry stage. Well, skip a Nashville.

[Brian Bates]

There was no comedy club in Charleston.

[Dusty Slay]

And

[Brian Bates]

the pivotal decision was my roommate decided he was moving to la.

[Graham K]

And.

[Brian Bates]

And he was like, you should move, too. And so I moved to Nashville.

[Aaron Weber]

It has behind the scenes secrets from filming Wet Heat at Tennessee's historic Walker Theater. Yeah. What was going on backstage?

[Brian Bates]

It was nothing really going on, actually. It was pretty chill.

[Graham K]

I had two Diet Cokes.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, pretty chill.

[Aaron Weber]

The untold story of how he became the voice of working class America. I mean, come on. The voice of working class.

[Brian Bates]

I think he did well, that is true.

[Graham K]

Congrats.

[Aaron Weber]

Personal struggles with sobriety. That shaped his authentic comedy style.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I mean, I got sober, but I don't.

[Aaron Weber]

You don't think that shaped your style?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah, I think it shaped it, but I don't struggle with sobriety.

[Aaron Weber]

I quit Drinking the Nashville breakthrough that launched him into comedy superstardom.

[Brian Bates]

Wow. Well, that's.

[Aaron Weber]

This isn't just another celebrity story, okay? It's a masterclass in persistence, authenticity, and finding your voice. When the world tells you to stay quiet. Was the world telling you to step quiet?

[Graham K]

Yes, I recall the world telling me.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Stay quiet.

[Brian Bates]

They said they did use to tell me to be quiet. But that sentence is not too bad. I might put that in my book.

[Graham K]

Yeah, no, that's definitely a real book that a real person wrote and.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but that's kind of cool though.

[Graham K]

That, that is.

[Brian Bates]

That's what I'm saying.

[Graham K]

You're getting big enough where that's that money making scheme for this.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. You're a celebrity.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That you got an AI slot book written.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's incredible. You will laugh at his misadventures, cheer for his victories, and discover why millions of fans can't get enough of this genuine down to earth comedian who never forgot where he came from.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. If you've enjoyed this, buy my real book.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but that didn't come out.

[Graham K]

No, Find out what really happened.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Get the real story.

[Aaron Weber]

He beat you to the punch. It's free on Kindle, by the way. I'm definitely. I'm ordering a copy of this.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, me too.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I don't.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I'm gonna get a. I'm gonna get a copy of this for sure.

[Brian Bates]

I actually don't care. I mean, don't buy it. But my, My real one is.

[Graham K]

Oh, there it is.

[Dusty Slay]

Your real one.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, there's the real one right there.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Look at that. We're having a good time.

[Dusty Slay]

It's already on sale and other stores.

[Brian Bates]

I got Sean's name on there. Perfect. I was actually pushing for that. He's not on this one, but Sean is the Ghost Rider. He did a great job. And yeah, I wanted to put his name on there, so I'm glad that's there.

[Graham K]

No Alfred A. Mole.

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Graham K]

No, whatever.

[Brian Bates]

James.

[Graham K]

James.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

James Mole.

[Aaron Weber]

James Mole.

[Graham K]

All right.

[Aaron Weber]

How about that? That's pretty cool. Dusty.

[Dusty Slay]

Did I just see the hay bear?

[Graham K]

That's cool. Congrats, man.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Even by the hello folks book right there.

[Brian Bates]

12.99. That feels steep.

[Graham K]

Is that also an AI slot book?

[Aaron Weber]

No, I mean, it's a book somebody made of all kinds of pictures.

[Brian Bates]

Cool. But 12.99 does feel pricey.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow. She's gonna make a little money.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. All right, this week we're talking about geography. Now, you already mentioned you've been to Japan. How many countries have you been to,

[Graham K]

I think close to 30.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Out of this point, I mean, 240, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's an eighth of the world.

[Brian Bates]

Not bad.

[Graham K]

But I, I, I, I have spent some time in my life doing cruise ship comedy. And you do hit those little islands. Mm. You can kind of peck off a lot.

[Aaron Weber]

Sure.

[Graham K]

You know what I mean?

[Aaron Weber]

Still counts.

[Graham K]

Yeah. I got off the boat, walked around.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, that's how I say I've been to Mexico.

[Graham K]

I say if you support the local economy in any way, I think you've been there.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, wow.

[Graham K]

Like, if you leave the.

[Brian Bates]

What's the one you spent the most time in? Not Canada, not America.

[Graham K]

Hungary.

[Dusty Slay]

Really?

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Budapest.

[Graham K]

I, yeah, I lived in Budapest for a year after I got a job with the Canadian government for one year. Like a year after college. Yeah. And I, I, the Canadian government paid me to work for a private American shipping company that made all of their money shipping things from America to American army bases in Iraq and Kuwait during the height of the Iraq war. So we were war profiteers, which I did not know, I didn't, could not, did not figure out for about six months. Yeah, I was like a very slow beautif mine with just one thread. Yeah. It's like, wait a second. We're war profiteers.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Graham K]

Yeah. And then, yeah, I did that for, for a year.

[Brian Bates]

What'd you do there? What? I mean, like, not your job. What'd you do in Budapest? Yeah, I, or Hungary. I don't know. Yeah, Aaron said Budapest. I don't know.

[Graham K]

Budapest, the capital.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know geography. It's the capital.

[Graham K]

It's a very old city. It's a very beautiful, big city for a tiny country because it used to be the capital of the Austro Hungarian Empire. So it's like, you go there and you're like, whoa. And it's just like a tiny country. The capital's huge. It's like very beautiful. It's like at that point in time, it was 2005, so it was still like a, like cheap and a little like a little fun and edgy. You know what? Tourists hadn't fig caught it. It was like, like Prague is like very overrun with tourists and Buddha.

[Brian Bates]

What country, what year did they claim this was built in?

[Graham K]

I think about 8000 BC.

[Brian Bates]

You ever see buildings like that and they go, yeah, this is built with horse and buggy.

[Graham K]

Yeah. No, I, that probably was. That definitely was. I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

I don't believe it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, well, the Budapest was formed. You don't Believe.

[Graham K]

Do you really not believe that?

[Brian Bates]

I don't know how they built it.

[Aaron Weber]

1873, say it's just more.

[Dusty Slay]

Much more recent than they want to claim now.

[Brian Bates]

I don. What happened, but I don't believe that they were. They built something that magnificent.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, you think aliens came down?

[Brian Bates]

I don't know what happened, but I'm just saying, look at that thing.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, they have buildings like that all over the world.

[Graham K]

I know they have, but we don't.

[Brian Bates]

Nothing like that.

[Graham K]

They can tell you how to do it.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, there's.

[Graham K]

They could find out how they did it.

[Aaron Weber]

But you think we don't build buildings like that because we don't know how to do it anymore.

[Brian Bates]

I think we can't.

[Aaron Weber]

I think we.

[Graham K]

Yeah, we can, we can. We just don't have.

[Brian Bates]

What's the White House ballroom look like?

[Aaron Weber]

I don't think it's built yet.

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Anyway.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, that's interesting. That's a. Yeah, that's.

[Brian Bates]

They'll be like, we built this in 10 years. You know, the Parthenon here in Nashville. Pretty impressive. And they, they. I don't think they claim that took very long. And it's pretty impressive.

[Graham K]

No one knows how it was built.

[Brian Bates]

They don't know.

[Graham K]

Well, anyway, I ate food. I hung out with friends. I saw those buildings. I like, went to museums and stuff. I. I don't know a lot about. I had a girlfriend who's a. Who was Hungarian. Hungarian stewardess.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, wow.

[Graham K]

It was a good time for me. It was a good time for your boy.

[Brian Bates]

How old Were you in 2005?

[Aaron Weber]

24. This is peak year life, right?

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, it was awesome.

[Brian Bates]

And about the same age then. Yeah, yeah.

[Graham K]

And then. And then I. We had. We used to take us out every Friday. It was like a 40 person company. And. And they would take us out for beers and appetizers on Fridays. And I, I sat beside my boss. Like, I just sat down and then he sat beside me and I was like, this is not going to be good.

[Aaron Weber]

It's not gonna be fun.

[Graham K]

In about 45 minutes. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna get myself into trouble.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Because at this point, you knew you were war profiteers.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

And then I told him that we're war profiteers. And then I moved back to Ottawa and I delivered. I lived with my parents and I delivered sandwiches to businessmen on their lunch break.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's more relatable. That's more relatable. And.

[Graham K]

Yeah, and then. Yeah, and then I was like. But it was good because I wanted to be a comedian anyway. That's where I was like. I had a cool job, an office job, and I hated it. And I was like, if I hate this, then I have to be a comedian.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Because what else are you?

[Graham K]

This is like my only shot to like, this kind of a job.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. You squandered your opportunity to be a war profiteer.

[Graham K]

Yes.

[Aaron Weber]

Thank you.

[Brian Bates]

You were living in Budapest.

[Graham K]

Could have made so much money.

[Brian Bates]

Because I was gonna say, just thinking about the contrast about that time, you know, when you were in Budapest, dating in Hungarian, stewardess, eating and hanging with your friends. I was, you know, at a Lowe's in Goose Creek, South Carolina.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Selling pesticides.

[Graham K]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

So you were really living the dream.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I. I was in sixth grade.

[Graham K]

I found that job online. I couldn't afford to travel, but I wanted to travel. And I found the job that would take me there because. And I was like, great. And it was like, I call them the Blob countries. Those like, like Eastern European countries that on a map just look like a blob.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

It's like, why is that the border?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Why is the next one over? A completely different culture and language. And it's like if you go there, you can just take a train at night and like a 12 hour train. Wake up in a new country.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

And be in a completely different thing. So I. On weekends I would just like go in a different country and stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

I'd like Slovakia.

[Graham K]

I take like. There was all these. Hungary has all these. You know, it's an old country. So there's a long weekend every two weeks for some massacre in the year 1200 or something. You know what I mean? And then you're like, sweet, I'm going to go to Austria and go snowboarding, you know, and like, it was awesome.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe this is pretty enlightening for me because maybe it's just the name Budapest, but I always thought of Budapest as more Asian.

[Graham K]

Well, it was. I think it must because the Ottoman Empire, Turks, they were up there and they. They put in all these. First Romans did. It was a Roman city, but then the Turks ruled it. And they put in all these baths, like Turkish baths.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Graham K]

Because there's these hot springs under the ground.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Graham K]

And they shoot up and Google Budapest baths.

[Dusty Slay]

Were you with Nate when he went to the Turkish baths?

[Graham K]

Look at that.

[Brian Bates]

Look.

[Graham K]

And you can play cards.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Graham K]

I bet you get little snacks.

[Brian Bates]

I bet American tourists are ruining that right now.

[Aaron Weber]

Just come and take up half the pool Fat.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Bluetooth speakers

[Graham K]

Wagon Wheel just going non stop.

[Aaron Weber]

It's like Carnival Cruise.

[Brian Bates]

Jelly Roll, Kid Rock.

[Graham K]

Just pee everywhere. Only talk to God when I need a favor. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Just.

[Graham K]

I would do stuff like that.

[Aaron Weber]

You hung out in those baths?

[Graham K]

I hung on those baths. Played. Played chess. I don't know. I don't know how to really how to play chess, but I did it. And then you get little sandwiches, little beers. Oh, man, it's nice.

[Aaron Weber]

And then.

[Graham K]

Yeah, man, they had. It was like, you know, I went to all these, like, music festivals and there was like this. This, like, rave that was on an abandoned ship on the Danube river that we, My friends would take me to.

[Aaron Weber]

I was like.

[Graham K]

Like, this is unbelievable.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah. And then jump cut to me delivering sandwiches in Ottawa. Wow.

[Brian Bates]

Depressing time there.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yes, it was dark time for your boy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Europe's so crazy because I've. I've got to go around America a lot, and there's some really cool stuff in America, but the oldest stuff you're gonna find in terms of, like, buildings that are still up and stuff, it's like 300 years old. You're lucky if you see something 300 years old. You go to Europe and. Yeah, this building's been around a thousand years or whatever. It's crazy.

[Graham K]

It's crazy that they just, like, they kept it up and stuff. Like, I think those baths are. The Turks did that, you know, so that's, I don't know, like 700 years old, 500 years old.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you think if you're given a map of the world.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And none of the country names on there, I can. Do you think you can get most of them?

[Graham K]

Africa's tough, but I can do probably a third of Africa.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Graham K]

And I can do. I could definitely do all of Europe. I mean, my family's from Czechoslovakia, so I. Yeah, I, I.

[Aaron Weber]

So was mine.

[Graham K]

Really?

[Brian Bates]

How far back your family?

[Graham K]

My mom was born there.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Graham K]

She came when she was 4. She's like, technically a refuge. Technically, I'm first generation, which is hilarious.

[Aaron Weber]

But mine's a little further back than that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

My mom's from Evansville, Indiana, so, yeah, I've been there. Oh, yeah?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's crazy. You can fill out Asia. You think you had a good shot at doing Asia?

[Graham K]

I think so.

[Aaron Weber]

Asia is a little easier.

[Graham K]

They're bigger. I can. I. I think I know Laos. I know, but like, like, like, actually Laos, I wouldn't like those kind of countries. I'm like, I don't know Laos.

[Aaron Weber]

You think you do all the states. All the US States?

[Graham K]

No, in the middle. I'm a little dicey, but I could do. I could do most. I could definitely do, like, at least 70, 80%. I've been to all of them except for Hawaii.

[Aaron Weber]

You see, I always see things like. You know what Jay Leno used to do? It was a jaywalking he used to do, where you ask people questions.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And they would ask people and be like, where's America on a map? And they point to, like, India and be like, there. I mean, people are that naive. It's tough to stuff.

[Graham K]

Yeah, it's tough.

[Brian Bates]

But, you know, look at the tip of India, though. I mean, that. That could be Florida.

[Aaron Weber]

That could be Texas.

[Brian Bates]

I always feel like, turn it a little bit. Turn the map a little bit. And that's Florida.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Texas now.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Have you lived anywhere other than any other countries you've lived in? Boy, you have to think about it.

[Graham K]

No, I mean, I stayed in Costa Rica for two months, but it doesn't really live. But, yeah, my. We didn't. I might. I. I went. Moved to Ottawa, delivered sandwiches, and then I saved $2,000 so I could move to Toronto and do comedy. And then my buddy called me from Costa Rica and was like, you should come here. And I'm like, I don't have any money. I have $2,000. He's like, that's enough. I'm like, for two months. He's like, yeah, we sleep on the beach. We just had a tent. We slept on the beach.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Graham K]

And then that lasted, like, two. Two months. We went to Honduras and Nicaragua, and we just, like, took those, like, $13, like, American school buses that they. They buy from it. So you'd go on this, like, school, but they call chicken buses. And you're on, like, a school bus, an American school bus that says, like. Like, I don't know, Colorado school board on the side. And you're just in, like, Honduras with, like, a surfboard and a lady holding a chicken. Yeah. If they can afford three rims, they'll buy three rims. And, like. Yeah. And then it was fun. And I don't know how to surf, and my. And my friend knew how to surf, and it's, like, really, like, hard surfing there. And I got up the very last day, very last day of the trip. My first and only time I've ever gotten up on a surfboard. And the wave took me right into a river with a bunch of crocodiles.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, no.

[Graham K]

And then they were like, don't go in there. There's crocodiles. I was like, great. And then I got up for the first time and it took me straight in there. And then the waves were coming and I couldn't get out. And I was stuck there for like 45 minutes. And then my friends were like, where were you? I was like, crocodiles. I was just like, exhausted.

[Brian Bates]

Did you see crocodiles in there?

[Graham K]

Yeah, but, like, over there. But, you know, that's enough. I'm from. I'm like, grew up near a lake in Ottawa. Like, I don't know. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You got some geese?

[Graham K]

I got geese. You know, snapping turtles. That was, you know, I'll take a

[Aaron Weber]

snapping turtle over a crocodile.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Any day.

[Graham K]

Yeah. That's it. Yeah. That's the only place I've lived in. Lived in la, New York, Toronto, Budapest, and Ottawa and Halifax. I went to college out there.

[Aaron Weber]

Halifax.

[Graham K]

That's near Maine. That's near Portland, Maine.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

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[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So you need to, you know, you got to have a cool mattress. Helix helps you sleep better. And it's been proven. A study they ran ran found that 82% of those involved saw an increase in their sleep deep sleep cycle while sleeping on a Helix mattress. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. Plus Helix delivers your mattress right to your door. With free Shipping in the US Helix offers an 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. I love my Helix mattress. I've had it about four years now. It's going strong. I get better sleep on my Helix than anywhere else. Go to helixsleep.com Nate for their memorial Day sale deal. It's the best of the web. 27 off site wide. And this is exclusive for listeners of this show. That's helixsleep.com Nate for 27 off site wide for their Memorial Day cell. Best of the web. And this is exclusive for listeners of this show. Helix sleep.com Nate well, I did a

[Dusty Slay]

little research on some oh, saskatchewan I

[Graham K]

got sent to boot camp in Saskatchewan. I forgot about those two years.

[Aaron Weber]

Boot camp?

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Do you talk about this in your act?

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah. I got sent to like, Saskatchewan's like north of North Dakota. I got sent to a farming community of 300 in Wilcox, Saskatchewan.

[Aaron Weber]

So you were working out there, huh?

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got caught drinking and I had to be the, the garbage man for the town in January. I had to wake up at five in the morning. It's like being on the moon.

[Aaron Weber]

How old were you?

[Graham K]

17.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, wow.

[Graham K]

Yeah, it was crazy. I've never been colder in my life.

[Brian Bates]

You were a year away from legal drinking in Canada.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I mean, come on.

[Graham K]

I don't believe, believe me, I, I, I, I said all this.

[Aaron Weber]

You made all these arguments in my

[Graham K]

hearing with the 23 year old who ruled against me. Yeah, yeah. It was nuts.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, a lot of businesses I learned from my research, use geography to determine where to open locations. Waffle House, for example, there's a class, a seminar, the Waffle House Geography seminar, taught by Dr. Jerry Shannon at University of Georgia, uses Waffle House to explore community spaces and retail distribution. It was even featured on SportsCenter. Marty Smith and Ryan McGee did a piece on it, on Waffle House, on this Waffle House class.

[Aaron Weber]

Why was that on sports?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know, but it was so. Don't.

[Brian Bates]

Sec channel.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. Something like that.

[Dusty Slay]

Didn't mention that. But Waffle House, they, they cluster around major suburban interchanges. They use a shoebox design for taxes. Meaning? You know how it's, it's not a square. Usually it's a rectangle. Yeah, but the frontage is thinner. The door, that's for tax purposes.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh.

[Dusty Slay]

To minimize furniture size to lower local land taxes.

[Graham K]

I like stuff.

[Brian Bates]

I like that too.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

It's like those shotgun houses in New Orleans.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Charleston has taxes in like 1750.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Charleston's like that too. They had, these houses are built sideways so that you just see a little bit of the house, but then they have these long front porches, but they're on the side of the house because it's, yeah, it was like they taxed you on how much space you took up on the road.

[Dusty Slay]

This kind of surprised me. Waffle House often builds multiple locations within close proximity to each other. So their, their business model is to dominate a local market, to have locations sometimes within walking distance of one another.

[Graham K]

Smart.

[Aaron Weber]

I can think of, I can think of a few situations. Where were you? Just in Biloxi, was it where there were three on the same street. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And they'll be on every exit on the interstate.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, every exit.

[Graham K]

Do you guys like Waffle House?

[Aaron Weber]

I love it.

[Brian Bates]

I used to really like it. I feel like there's been a change.

[Dusty Slay]

There's been a change in Dusty.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Changes us here. Change in waffles.

[Brian Bates]

Well, there's definitely been a change in me, but I also. Yeah, you're a theater guy now. Yeah. Yeah. But no, I mean, I. I like the way the food tastes, but it never does me. Well, never. Now I just don't feel.

[Graham K]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I used to tear it up.

[Graham K]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

But you have all kinds.

[Graham K]

That's nobody's fault.

[Aaron Weber]

You have health problems. You have health problems.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, well, I have stomach problems.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's part of your health.

[Brian Bates]

But health seems.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that sounds serious.

[Graham K]

Okay. It did sound. Stomach is connected to health, I'd say. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a key player. Yeah.

[Graham K]

To. The stomach is connected to the body.

[Dusty Slay]

Where have you been to a Waffle House?

[Graham K]

I've been. Nate took me to my first Waffle House a few years ago. Years ago.

[Brian Bates]

Know. It's great.

[Aaron Weber]

Just during the day, right? Just like a lunch.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gentleman's lunch.

[Aaron Weber]

Gentleman's lunch.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You should go to late night Waffle House in Opelika, Alabama, if you want a real experience.

[Graham K]

I honestly. I know why you're saying that, but I would like to go.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Yeah.

[Graham K]

I think it'd be cool.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

As long as I. I'm okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You'll be all right.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Graham K]

Wear my jean jacket.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Walgreens drugstore.

[Aaron Weber]

Call them all War Profiteers.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I got stabbed.

[Graham K]

They were right to do it.

[Dusty Slay]

Walgreens builds their.

[Graham K]

You say Walgreens like you say Ottawa.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

He's differentiating it from Walmart.

[Dusty Slay]

Right? From Waffle House.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh. Oh. I don't think you need to do that.

[Graham K]

There's a big dash in there that I don't.

[Aaron Weber]

We got Waffle House and Walgreens. I don't think you needed to do that.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, let's just move on.

[Aaron Weber]

I want to hear about. I love walking.

[Dusty Slay]

They build on the corner. They build. They find a busy intersection, and they always build on the corner. Have two different entrances.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I like that.

[Graham K]

Yeah, that's smart.

[Aaron Weber]

And R A. R A would do

[Graham K]

the same thing, right?

[Dusty Slay]

I guess.

[Aaron Weber]

They were always all corners.

[Graham K]

Only one entrance to the deodorant, though. What about.

[Aaron Weber]

Tough to get a laugh.

[Brian Bates]

Me, you, too.

[Aaron Weber]

It's tough, man.

[Brian Bates]

As most of you know, I love Doing things myself. If something breaks, I'm going to try to fix it before calling someone. It's just a good confidence boost when you can fix your own dryer. Using Pesti gives me that same feeling in the best way. Yeah, fix my own dryers. I get to spray for the bugs myself and don't have to rely on those big name companies coming to my house. You get everything you need. The kit includes pro grade pesticide that's the same stuff the pros use. A sprayer, mixing bags, gloves, and instructions you can complete in less than 10 minutes. It's so easy to just get it done yourself. Plus this, it's customizable for whatever season, location or weather you may deal with. Pesty gets rid of over a hundred types of bugs, from spiders and ants to roaches and stink bugs. I would love to go the rest of my life and never see another stink bug. You know what I mean? Or smell them.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh.

[Brian Bates]

Other pest control companies charge hundreds of dollars. With Pesty, you can get started at just $30 per treatment. Pesty is kid and pet friendly. The pesticides they ship are fully registered and have been used in hospitals and schools all over the country. Plus they offer a hundred percent bug free guarantee or your money back. If the bugs don't go away, you will get a free. A full refund.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

A full refund for free.

[Aaron Weber]

Free too. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Keep the bugs away with Pesty. Go to Pesty.com Nate for an extra 10 off your order. That's P Dashes.com Nate for an extra 10% off.

[Dusty Slay]

You guys about why airports are far away from the city.

[Brian Bates]

Traffic reasons, I would think. Yeah. So the airports. Airplanes are not flying right over people's houses.

[Graham K]

That's what I would think.

[Dusty Slay]

That's not the question I asked. I asked if you guys ever thought about it.

[Graham K]

Okay. Yeah, I have thought about it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Right now though, right?

[Brian Bates]

I think about it. I drive to a lot of airports like Denver.

[Aaron Weber]

That airport's like two hours from.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I do think about it, but

[Graham K]

they got that horse there pretty close to that blues.

[Brian Bates]

You're asking the wrong people that question. We travel. We all travel all the time.

[Aaron Weber]

What do you want out of it?

[Dusty Slay]

The proper answer is yes or no.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, I'll do what you want us to do.

[Dusty Slay]

Tell me yes.

[Graham K]

I just want to help. Yes, I just want to help.

[Aaron Weber]

Somebody help me, please.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, how about this? How about this one?

[Graham K]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

This is just a fun fact. From Stanford, Connecticut. I know Stanford, Connecticut because Jim from the office went to the Thunder Mayfield Location? Stanford. If you go drove north from Stanford, Connecticut, you would end up in New York State. If you drove south, Stafford, Connecticut, you would end up in New York State. If you drove west, you would end up in New York State. And if you drove east, you'd have to go through some water, but you would end up New York State.

[Graham K]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

That's pretty wild, right?

[Aaron Weber]

That is cool. That's really cool.

[Graham K]

What does that do with airports?

[Aaron Weber]

We moved.

[Dusty Slay]

I moved on from airports because you guys were being jerks.

[Brian Bates]

We weren't being jerks. You.

[Dusty Slay]

You were basically right. You're right. Yeah, it's. It's air pollution and build planes flying over buildings.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And land. I mean, these runways are so long that you need a ton of land,

[Graham K]

especially if you're going to expand the air. Where I went to college in Halifax, there's a airport that's way too far away from Halifax. And the reason why it's out there is because they have a lot of fog because it's by the water and so they put it inland and then they cut down all the trees and then the fog came because the trees were taking care of the fog.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Graham K]

So now they just have a far away airport with a bunch of fog.

[Dusty Slay]

Where's this at?

[Graham K]

In Halifax?

[Brian Bates]

Can you pull up Stanford, Connecticut?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, we're gonna look at Halifax first. There it is. Yeah, Stanford. Stanford's right down here.

[Brian Bates]

I just wanna. I just wanna try to get an idea of.

[Aaron Weber]

There's Stanford.

[Brian Bates]

Well, can you get rid of that? Yeah, There you go.

[Graham K]

Yeah, I like how it's still got all your saved spaces.

[Dusty Slay]

You might need.

[Aaron Weber]

These are all the places I've done stand up.

[Dusty Slay]

That doesn't really distinguish the state.

[Graham K]

Nice.

[Aaron Weber]

It kind of does.

[Graham K]

I like that. That's a cool little.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's fun to Google. Fun to see where you've been, where you have it. So if you head right, you're gonna run into Long Island. Head left, you're in New York. Head north.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. All right. So the Long island one. That one. That one solves the mystery. Yeah. I couldn't understand, but yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

How that happened.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Closest state to Africa.

[Brian Bates]

Hawaii.

[Aaron Weber]

No,

[Dusty Slay]

I know.

[Graham K]

That's actually a good guess.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it is. Because.

[Aaron Weber]

No to Africa.

[Graham K]

Yeah. Probably Hawaii.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no, it's Maine.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Not Asia. Africa.

[Brian Bates]

Well.

[Graham K]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Graham is a world traveler.

[Graham K]

Yeah. I was dumb.

[Dusty Slay]

I was in one of the big ones.

[Graham K]

Yeah. There's a whole. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Hawaii is maybe the farthest one.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, guys, I got ahead of my skis there, so.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Depend on what map you.

[Graham K]

I was thinking of the Azores, guys. I was thinking of the Azores. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Thanks to a lot of people moving out of California, Canada now has a higher population than California for the first time.

[Graham K]

Whoa.

[Brian Bates]

What does Canada.

[Graham K]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

Used to be a interesting fact that California had more people than Canada, but that's not the case anymore.

[Brian Bates]

What's going on in California that everybody's moving?

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know. I don't know either.

[Graham K]

Well, they're getting paid in California money and then they can live elsewhere and. And work remotely and not pay taxes. Take that. Well, they pay taxes and not. Yeah, but they. Exactly, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Is this the shape of Canada that you accept?

[Graham K]

There's no way I accept it. If I didn't accept it, I'd have no one to talk to. So I just accept it.

[Brian Bates]

I'd talk.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I mean, you know all that. This is obviously that's not the true size of Canada. It's adjusted for how this map.

[Graham K]

Well, Canada is the second largest country.

[Aaron Weber]

I know it's big, but it's. But it's elongated in a way that.

[Dusty Slay]

Look at Greenland. It looks like it's enormous.

[Graham K]

Did you know that there's a part of Canada that is the size of Florida that is like further south than that? If you go sideways longitude, it's on. It's on this. On the same longitude as California. And that's where one third of Canadians live, in that little tiny zone.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow, I did not know that.

[Graham K]

Yeah, right by the Great Lakes. It's like as far south as California.

[Aaron Weber]

So this is a map of the Mercator projection versus the actual size of the country. So Canada's actually about that big.

[Graham K]

Oh, I like that.

[Dusty Slay]

The dark blue.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, the dark blue. That's how actually big it is.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. Everything's smaller.

[Aaron Weber]

Everything's a lot.

[Graham K]

Russia.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, some are bigger. Where?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Which one's bigger?

[Aaron Weber]

Well, like some of the. Like this. Africa. Some of them are bigger. Brazil.

[Dusty Slay]

Seems like some of them are right in.

[Graham K]

Look at Russia.

[Aaron Weber]

Some of them are dead on. Yeah, Russia's all. Russia's way smaller.

[Dusty Slay]

Look at Greenland.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I know.

[Graham K]

I'm not scared. I'm not scared of Russia anymore.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, they're nothing.

[Graham K]

They're nothing.

[Dusty Slay]

I sent you a link to this, Aaron, but.

[Graham K]

Good, good people.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, they're. I like them.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So we've talked about Pangea before.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yes.

[Dusty Slay]

Are you familiar with Panji?

[Graham K]

Yeah, it's the old continent before it blew up. Allegedly. Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Blew up. Yeah.

[Graham K]

Separated the tectonic plates. Separated it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, a piece of Africa didn't make it. It's still underneath Alabama.

[Graham K]

Whoa, that's cool.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Well, how do they know that it's Africa if it's under Alabama?

[Dusty Slay]

Apparently, the soil samples is the same. That fits Africa, but not Alabama.

[Aaron Weber]

Magnetic readings from deep below the Earth's surface suggest that Florida and parts of the southeastern US States comprise ancient rock from what is now Africa, which broke away from the land mass that is now North America 250 million years ago.

[Dusty Slay]

Not soil samples. I was wrong about that. But magnetic, essentially.

[Aaron Weber]

The ground.

[Graham K]

Also, there was a guy down there.

[Aaron Weber]

Help. Help.

[Dusty Slay]

Stuck. So you can say you've been to Africa.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, that's true.

[Dusty Slay]

You were born there.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Smallest country in the world.

[Aaron Weber]

Vatican City.

[Dusty Slay]

Correct.

[Graham K]

Oh, that. Very good.

[Aaron Weber]

Very good. You ever been there?

[Graham K]

Yes. Yeah?

[Aaron Weber]

How'd you like it?

[Graham K]

I thought it was cool. Yeah, it was beautiful. Have you been there?

[Aaron Weber]

No, never been. Never been to Europe.

[Graham K]

They said not to take pictures of the ceiling.

[Aaron Weber]

Did you take him?

[Graham K]

Yeah. Bad boy comedy. I saw me a dude.

[Aaron Weber]

I saw a TikTok of a guy. The Sistine Chapel. Brought a mirror to the Sistine Chapel

[Graham K]

to look up women's dresses.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no.

[Brian Bates]

That's what you say, though, if you get caught.

[Graham K]

No, it's for dressing.

[Brian Bates]

It's less of a crime. Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

What was the purpose?

[Aaron Weber]

You can tilt the mirror in such a way that it's way easier to take pictures, like selfies with the ceiling. If you tilt the mirror at an angle, then you can just take a picture with you at it and you can see the whole. See, it was interesting. It was interesting to see. I don't know if a lot of people have done that before, but he did it.

[Graham K]

I just got yelled at and I

[Aaron Weber]

was like, well, in Italian or what?

[Graham K]

Yeah, I got some dirty looks for. They have these very funny looking guards.

[Aaron Weber]

The Swiss Guards.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, right. And they haven't. They haven't updated their outfits since the 1700s. And they look. They look like, like. Like clowns.

[Brian Bates]

And then they got mad at you and they blamed Americans. They go, I did it too. Americans. And you didn't go, no, no, no, I'm Canadian.

[Graham K]

Yeah, I didn't do that.

[Aaron Weber]

Talking about these guys. Yeah, they're these guys.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Jesters.

[Graham K]

Yeah, they look like clowns. And then they give you like a. Like they're trying to intimidate you. I'm like, come on, man. Look like Ronald McDonald.

[Brian Bates]

That's who's on the playing card, the joke.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Graham K]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

The only state, US State that's triply landlocked.

[Aaron Weber]

Anybody know Tripoli Land? Explain Tripoli.

[Dusty Slay]

Landlocked, meaning you got to go through three different states to get to water.

[Brian Bates]

Nebraska.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm going Kansas.

[Dusty Slay]

Care guess.

[Graham K]

Utah.

[Dusty Slay]

All great guesses, but the answer is Nebraska.

[Brian Bates]

All right, close. That's what I said.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yep, yep.

[Brian Bates]

Just for the record, though, because the way he said it so can't sound like none of us got it right.

[Aaron Weber]

But I'm saying I was close.

[Brian Bates]

You were close. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, I need to redo that. And Dusty is the winner. Dusty's the smartest.

[Aaron Weber]

There you go.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, like I do with my daughter.

[Brian Bates]

But the way you said it, though, you go, all good guesses, but the answer is Nebraska.

[Aaron Weber]

But it's a. It is a good guess if you get it right.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, you're right.

[Graham K]

Yeah. Right.

[Dusty Slay]

Now, have you ever been to Samoa?

[Graham K]

No. American Samoa.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I was going to get there. So there's cookies, there's Samoa, and then there's American Samoa. And they're side by side.

[Graham K]

Good guess. Another good guess.

[Dusty Slay]

They're side by side. Samoa and American Samoa. But the international date line goes right through the middle, so they're in different days of the week.

[Graham K]

Oh, wow.

[Dusty Slay]

So you could go celebrate New Year's in Samoa and then go back and do it. America Samoa. Does that make sense?

[Brian Bates]

Is American Samoa part of America?

[Graham K]

Yeah, like they state, but yeah, it's like Puerto Rico.

[Aaron Weber]

A territory. Puerto Rico or Guam.

[Graham K]

That's why you see a lot of virgin islands in the NFL. Those big dudes with long last names, usually from America. And they're big people.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So I mean, the Rock, he's from, you know, Samoa, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Or American Americans.

[Dusty Slay]

Mo. Yeah. Time zones. Russia has 11 time zones. So in one part of the country, when you're eating dinner, the other part of the country is just getting up to eat breakfast. But China has only one time zone, so there. It's really messed up. You're in China?

[Brian Bates]

No. Well, yeah, the. Communism makes it. You know, they're like, no, we're not doing.

[Graham K]

We're not doing that.

[Aaron Weber]

Which should they have more time zones, like geographically or in the China. And they just choose to have one?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they choose to have one. Yeah. It's a big country.

[Aaron Weber]

Don't you think it makes sense to all be on the same time zone? It would make things much easier.

[Dusty Slay]

Just.

[Graham K]

Yeah, just China has. Just 2pm means something different for.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, exactly.

[Graham K]

Fine.

[Aaron Weber]

You would just start to understand 2pm means nighttime. Means nighttime.

[Brian Bates]

I don't like daylight savings time changes, but time zones, I'm not, I'm not against.

[Graham K]

I think time zones make sense. Daily savings gotta go. I think that's one thing we can all get on board about.

[Brian Bates]

But I think we got. We gotta keep daylight savings in the sense of let's keep more daylight in the afternoon.

[Graham K]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

For the good one, but no more changes.

[Graham K]

No one knows which one it is. But the good one.

[Brian Bates]

Yes.

[Graham K]

You want more of the good one?

[Dusty Slay]

You want to keep daylight savings?

[Brian Bates]

Yes, but no longer change.

[Aaron Weber]

Let me try to steal me on the other side. Okay, okay. Daylight savings time. It improves safety, boosts the economy and promotes outdoor leisure activities. Can you back increasing light during high activity evening hours. It reduces traffic accidents, lowers crime rates and supports the retail and hospitality.

[Brian Bates]

That's what I'm saying.

[Aaron Weber]

So it's an economic. There's economic reasons.

[Graham K]

So you're saying in the winter there's more daylight because you move it back.

[Brian Bates]

What I'm saying is keep it daylight because daylight savings time means that you get the extra hour in the summer or whatever. Yeah, but so I'm saying in when it comes winter time, let's not fall back.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Let's just keep it at that daylight savings time.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, okay.

[Graham K]

But you're saying that by falling back it helps there be more daylight during business hours.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And that boosts the economy in the mornings.

[Brian Bates]

I just think if you're up in the morning to go to work, it doesn't matter if it's daylight, then it's

[Aaron Weber]

daylight later in the day. Right. Instead of getting dark at 3:30 in the afternoon.

[Graham K]

Doesn't. We're all doing the same thing because the darkness. Well, the darkness is always around me, but the darkness starts. Or is the.

[Brian Bates]

We just want the spring forward and never fall back.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I don't think we want more light during business hours. That's what we want, more light during business hours.

[Brian Bates]

I'm saying just spring forward and never fall back.

[Aaron Weber]

So just bring forward once or keep doing it every year.

[Brian Bates]

No, just one time.

[Graham K]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Now it's the winter time.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Play devil's advocate. Because there is less sunlight. No matter.

[Graham K]

That's what I say. It's dark till 9pm 9am Anyway, so I don't think it helps.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, look, is that a fact? Fair argument.

[Graham K]

Is that a fact or something?

[Dusty Slay]

There's an argument.

[Aaron Weber]

What are you talking about? The thing I just read? Yeah, that's what, that's what proponents of daylight saving time will say. I have no idea if they're rooted in any kind of statistical reality.

[Dusty Slay]

People who want to keep standard time, I think they say, you know, kids are getting on school buses if it's dark till 9am that's just dangerous for.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

For things like that.

[Aaron Weber]

A 2020 poll found that 40% of Americans wanted to stay in standard time all year. 31% had preferred to stay in daylight savings time all year. And then 28% was like, we'll just keep it the way it is.

[Brian Bates]

I think so.

[Aaron Weber]

28 split. 72% of the country wants to be gone with changing the yes.

[Brian Bates]

But I think that the whole terminology is so confusing that when they polled people, people that people were like, yeah, yeah, we want get rid of daylight savings time. And what they meant was spring forward and never fall back.

[Graham K]

30% of people wanted that conversation to be over. There's 70.

[Brian Bates]

Understood.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I'm confused myself.

[Graham K]

Yeah, that.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, this, this scenario. Submitted by Adrian Culp from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. You wake up in Mongolia.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, no.

[Graham K]

You.

[Dusty Slay]

You know who you are. You know everything about yourself.

[Aaron Weber]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

You just don't know how you got to Mongolia. You don't have a phone. What's your first move?

[Graham K]

Get an, get a. Get a bald eagle.

[Dusty Slay]

Get a.

[Graham K]

All right, a falcon. Get a falcon. They're big falconers and I.

[Dusty Slay]

Have you been to Mongolia?

[Graham K]

No, I just read a book on Gagas Khan and they're big on falcons.

[Dusty Slay]

How are you gonna get a falcon, Dusty?

[Brian Bates]

I just think you just hold your hand up.

[Aaron Weber]

They'll come eventually.

[Graham K]

Lead me. Falcon.

[Brian Bates]

Depending on.

[Graham K]

Lead me back to Ottawa.

[Brian Bates]

Depending on the time of my life.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You know, if I'm, if I'm married with a family, then I gotta, you know, I gotta get home.

[Aaron Weber]

You gotta get.

[Brian Bates]

But if I'm 2005, Graham K. I go, let's just make a life for myself here.

[Aaron Weber]

What are you. But you're not answering the question, which is what do you do for the. That day? You have no phone, you don't speak the language. You're dropped in this country. You know nothing about. What do you do?

[Graham K]

Well, I try and try and find somebody.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, yeah, let's say.

[Aaron Weber]

Speaks English. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Let's say in this scenario you are trying to get home.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You want to get home. Your family.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I don't know where Mongolia is, but let's see where it's at.

[Graham K]

China. Not Tennessee, west of China. Turn. It's in between Russia and China.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Graham K]

And they are interesting looking people because they look half Russian and half Chinese.

[Brian Bates]

I. Oh, yeah. Okay. I've watched some videos on Mongolia then.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It's very cold there, there. So, yeah, I think if it's winter time, I think you're just. You're going to be in a mess. But summertime, I think, you know, you got to try to find a nice looking old lady and speak to her.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

In Ulan Batar or whatever, I think

[Brian Bates]

that's your best hope. Find a nice looking old lady.

[Graham K]

Just go to that.

[Brian Bates]

Not, not. I don't mean like attractive, but she looks nice.

[Aaron Weber]

She looks friendly.

[Graham K]

Looks friendly.

[Dusty Slay]

Go to the hot older woman.

[Aaron Weber]

You got to find a hot old lady.

[Graham K]

Go to the lobby of that building. Ask for the nearest falconer. That building looks terrifying.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah, that's. It stinks. That you type in Mongolia and that's the first picture that pops up.

[Graham K]

That's not right. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Would you try to.

[Graham K]

It's like you type in America and it's just sounds.

[Dusty Slay]

I was trying to think of a common word you could even write out that they would understand, but man, it'd be tough. I don't know what I would do.

[Graham K]

I don't know. I think you get you some pretty good meat pretty quick and then they get you that like.

[Brian Bates]

It's got to be a buffet. Mongolian buffet.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know how I got here, but I'm hungry. Let's go to the buffet and then we'll work this out.

[Aaron Weber]

I would never have guessed how to say hello in Mongolian.

[Graham K]

What is it?

[Aaron Weber]

It is. Yeah. They don't even offer pronunciation on Google.

[Graham K]

No, he doesn't know hello.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that's the English.

[Graham K]

Let's get Claude on this.

[Aaron Weber]

They don't have. They don't have audio for.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. It's gonna make it tougher.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Hear this video. If they'll let you.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Saying hello. Easy and practical ways. I was kind of hoping. This video is blocked.

[Graham K]

Yeah, it's not. Hello, my name is Yusuke. I understand.

[Aaron Weber]

It sounds like English. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

How to say hello in Mongolian. In Mongolian language, there are three common ways to say hello. Those are very basic. It can be used either formal or informal situations. Okay, so let's get started.

[Aaron Weber]

Sure.

[Graham K]

Please.

[Dusty Slay]

The first one is.

[Brian Bates]

That seems like a lot.

[Aaron Weber]

How are you? You just walk around saying that.

[Dusty Slay]

Sup? Dusty does his hair.

[Aaron Weber]

How are you?

[Graham K]

This just reminded me when I was in Hungary. Sia means goodbye and hallo. You know, hallow means goodbye and sia means hello.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Graham K]

It's like, how did that happen? It's the opposite in English. They were walking up, see Ya. And then I go, hello. And walk away. It's like, what's going on here?

[Aaron Weber]

They gotta switch that up.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. All right. So you find a hot old lady and then you say, what? Dusty?

[Graham K]

Off to a great start.

[Brian Bates]

And then, you know, you go, help. Yeah, help.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, help. And hopefully they figured that out and they take you somewhere.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, there's. We're having a good time in Mongolian. So you can just read that.

[Graham K]

Yes. That is a tough one.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you gotta do the head.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

I think that's international. Is this anything that is not doing any favors for you there, is it? No, there's a lot of.

[Dusty Slay]

What would you do, Aaron? We are having fun.

[Aaron Weber]

I'd probably just jump off a cliff or something.

[Dusty Slay]

All right. That's a different approach.

[Graham K]

Yeah. I was going to have steak with new friends.

[Aaron Weber]

Jump off a cliff. I'm never getting home.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Newfoundland. Is that how you say it?

[Aaron Weber]

Newfoundland?

[Graham K]

Yeah. Any way you want.

[Brian Bates]

I've heard people say new Newfoundland.

[Graham K]

Yeah, Newfoundland. Newfoundland. They go, Newfoundland. Labrador. They're all, they're all a bunch of Irish people that just got stuck there. And then there was no. Then. They didn't hear anyone else speak until they invented radio. So they have like Irish accents. And when Irish people hear them, they go like, is that from Cork? But they're all from Cork, but they never heard. We don't sound like we're from England because we've heard other things. They didn't hear anything for like 200 years.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Graham K]

And they weren't part of Canada until 1949. And they invaded. They, they, they fought World War II as Newfoundland.

[Aaron Weber]

Really? It's just their own country.

[Graham K]

Yeah. You know, like, we'll go get him by us.

[Aaron Weber]

On which side?

[Graham K]

There's like 40 guys.

[Brian Bates]

You know, we have, we have some great fans from Newfoundland. David, Melanie Kavanaugh. They've been on the cruise. They're big fans.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And they're very nice people.

[Graham K]

Yeah, they're. They're the nicest people, them.

[Brian Bates]

David and Melanie Kavanaugh.

[Graham K]

Maybe. I don't, I'm not sure. I hope if I did. I, I, it was a pleasure meeting you. I love Newfoundlanders.

[Brian Bates]

They're very nice. They get, they brought me great comedy crowds there. There's a candy bar called Having a Good Time. No, it's like having a good. It's like some. They wrote having on there and it's like a good time bar or something like that. We're having a time. Something like that.

[Aaron Weber]

Having a time Time. Newfoundland Chocolate Company.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

I've seen those.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, they've given me some of those. They brought a couple of those to me.

[Aaron Weber]

Smooth milk chocolate, creamy caramel and Newfoundland.

[Brian Bates]

I really want to go to Newfoundland.

[Graham K]

Well, you like it go in the summer, though.

[Dusty Slay]

Apparently they have a time zone that's 30 minutes ahead.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And so the 5 o' clock somewhere joke that Dusty tells is really.

[Brian Bates]

People really got mad at me. I have a joke or it says, he says it's only half past 12, but I don't care. It's five o' clock somewhere. And I'm like, that's not true. You know, it may be 5 o' clock somewhere, it may be 5:30 somewhere, but you don't lose a half hour just because we change time zones. That was a great joke I told all around the country. People loved it. They laughed and laughed and laughed for years. They laughed at it for years. They put it on the Internet and people just flood my comments with Newfoundland telling me that there's a half hour time zone and what an idiot I am.

[Graham K]

It helped the algorithm though.

[Aaron Weber]

It did. And you were like, this is getting. Oh, me nerves, you know.

[Brian Bates]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

You need to be watching for that, you know.

[Brian Bates]

And I don't think it's Newfoundland people doing it. I don't think that's just dork. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

They're not watching you. Yeah.

[Graham K]

Regular dorks, probably. Canadian dorks.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So Newfoundland, that's kind of like your Cajun people.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Very proud people, I'm told.

[Graham K]

Very proud people.

[Aaron Weber]

If they Asian people are proud.

[Graham K]

I dated a Newfoundlander. You're not supposed to say newfie. And they say it's a slur. But. But I was dating one and her dad wouldn't say, he's Canadian.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Graham K]

He'd always say I'm from Newfoundland. And like when he's traveling, he'd like in Europe, he goes like, I'm from Newfoundland, I'm from Newfoundland.

[Brian Bates]

I love that.

[Aaron Weber]

Are people trying to secede from Canada?

[Graham K]

I think that they would like to, but that then they realized they'd have no money.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

And then like Portugal would just take them over or something like that.

[Aaron Weber]

When I was in Alberta, there's a lot of chatter about them trying to secede.

[Graham K]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And then it's like Texas. I don't feel like it's going to happen.

[Dusty Slay]

Texas.

[Brian Bates]

I wish Alberta would join the. Join the country. I like. They're real beef the U.S. yeah.

[Graham K]

They're very American.

[Brian Bates]

They're real.

[Graham K]

There's a lot of. Yeah, there's not One Prius out there.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no, no.

[Brian Bates]

Yes. I love that. I wish we could. Yeah, we could scoot right on up in there. Go from Montana right into Alberta.

[Aaron Weber]

Just lump it into Montana.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yep. They're gonna.

[Aaron Weber]

They'd love it.

[Graham K]

They're gonna. They're gonna be like, we've got to pay for healthcare. But they're gonna love.

[Aaron Weber]

They're gonna love everything else.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I mean, you'll get.

[Aaron Weber]

Figure it out.

[Graham K]

Falls out.

[Dusty Slay]

Alaska is the country's westernmost and easternmost state. I don't get how it's the westernmost over Hawaii, but easternmost because of the islands. Yeah, yeah.

[Graham K]

That are near Russia.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Aaron Weber]

Because it goes way farther west than Hawaii.

[Graham K]

What are those islands?

[Aaron Weber]

So here's Hawaii down there.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, wow.

[Aaron Weber]

And then. Yeah. Alaska goes all the way out to here.

[Graham K]

Yeah. That's nice. Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

There you go.

[Brian Bates]

What is that?

[Aaron Weber]

That Attu Station, Alaska.

[Graham K]

That's America, buddy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Land of the free.

[Brian Bates]

Love that.

[Aaron Weber]

US Army.

[Dusty Slay]

Eastern Hemisphere.

[Graham K]

Guess what? You guys bought it from Canada for, like, $11. We were like, that's fine. We just sold you all of Alaska.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Let's see what's going on here. The peace monument, I should say. Look at that. It looks like a little COVID virus.

[Brian Bates]

That looks like the star from Captain Marvel.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Do you know there's an island in Alaska that the America claim. Actually, this might be Canada. Might be in Antarctica, but it's Russia, and either America or Canada, and one country claims it, the other country claims it, and then the armies just go once a year to plant a flag, and they time it so they don't have to meet each other, and then the soldiers don't care. So the Russians leave vodka for the Canadians, and the Canadians leave whiskey for the. The Russians.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait, where is that?

[Graham K]

I don't know. Up there.

[Brian Bates]

Did you say Alaska was the easternmost, too?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, because it. Those islands go all the way into the Eastern Hemisphere.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. See, this is.

[Graham K]

That's near, like, Asia, right? Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Graham K]

Down downtown Asia right there.

[Aaron Weber]

Downtown Asia, right there. So we're in the Eastern Hemisphere right here. Isn't that crazy?

[Brian Bates]

And it's crazy.

[Graham K]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

The most remote area on Earth is called the Oceanic Pole of Inaccessibility. It's called Point Nemo. It's the farthest place from land on Earth, located in the south Pacific Ocean, 1670 miles from the nearest land.

[Aaron Weber]

Have people been there?

[Dusty Slay]

They have. But when the International Space Station flies over it, they're the closest people to it.

[Graham K]

Oh, wow.

[Dusty Slay]

That's pretty wild.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

And this is where spacecraft crash when they're bringing them back to Earth because it's the most remote place on Earth. So it's called the spacecraft cemetery because that's when satellites and the mirror, Russian mirror. That's where it crashes. And that's where the International Space Station will crash in 2031 when they decommission it.

[Aaron Weber]

I'd like to go out there.

[Dusty Slay]

It's pretty wild, huh?

[Graham K]

The space station

[Aaron Weber]

to anywhere.

[Graham K]

Oh, yeah, that's like.

[Aaron Weber]

To travel.

[Graham K]

Yeah, man.

[Brian Bates]

Except Mongolia.

[Graham K]

Yeah, except Mongolia. Kill yourself immediately.

[Aaron Weber]

Hey, Anywhere they speak English. I'm so down.

[Dusty Slay]

Where's the most remote area, Place you've been?

[Graham K]

That's a good question. I mean, probably like, like, probably like eastern Turkey. Like, that's, like, close to Iraq. Yeah, Like, I went there.

[Dusty Slay]

Noah's Ark.

[Graham K]

And like, Bulgaria is like a, you know, that's like a out there kind of place. But most remote without people is probably like, probably where I got sent to boot camp in Saskatchewan. Like, if you look at, like, a satellite, there's not that many people around there.

[Aaron Weber]

I just typed in eastern Turkey. It took me to a turkey restaurant in Mount Juliet. Tenness. Not what I meant.

[Dusty Slay]

Based on previous searches.

[Aaron Weber]

Come on, bro. Come on. Yeah, Turkey.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, turkey. Spelled that way.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I think they changed that. That's.

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't know that.

[Brian Bates]

Mandela effect.

[Dusty Slay]

Are you serious? It's never been spelled.

[Brian Bates]

I don't think so.

[Aaron Weber]

T, then U with the two dots.

[Brian Bates]

They used to spell it. Like the food, like the animal.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, they do in English. That's just not. That's not in English.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh.

[Graham K]

But I thought, like, maybe they changed it.

[Brian Bates]

I think they changed it looked like

[Dusty Slay]

all the other countries were spelled.

[Graham K]

Yeah, it's like a Deutschland thing.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know. I don't know why it's coming up that way. Guys. I'm sorry. I don't run Google.

[Graham K]

Yeah. When I got fired from my job, I took the Orient Express train all the way down to Turkey, and then I ran out of money and had to come home. Home.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Have you ever felt unsafe

[Graham K]

right now?

[Aaron Weber]

No, I'm.

[Graham K]

I. Yeah. I, I, one time I was in. I was in. I took. I took the. The overnight train in, like, from, like, Budapest to, I don't know where, Chicago. Slovakia. We're going to Slovakia.

[Dusty Slay]

You dusty.

[Graham K]

And they were like, don't take the overnight train. There's gypsies. I was like, there's no such thing as gypsies. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You thought they were like genies.

[Graham K]

Yeah. Gypsy. And. And then it's like, you. Anyway, they. They like. There's these dudes that get on the train. I don't know why they let them on. They probably pay the conductor or whatever. And then they, like, shine their flashlight in and they, like. They, like, steal your stuff when you're asleep. Sleep in, like, your car. But I'm tall enough for my. My toes touch the door when they slid it open, and I got up, and then he looked at me like that. I went like that, and he was like, yeah, it's not worth it. And anyone. Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

So they tried to get in there.

[Graham K]

Yeah, he tried. They got. They got in, and then they tried to take my stuff. And then that was, like, one where I was like, that's.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know if I'd be able to go back to sleep after that.

[Graham K]

I didn't.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Graham K]

No, there was gypsies out there. Yeah. And then. Then one time in, like, Nicaragua, we were on a place. We were on a beach where we should not have been. We were, like, being pretty dumb, and. And we. They were. They were trying to. Some guy was trying to lure us to a party, and I'm pretty sure he was trying to kill us and take our money. So we didn't. We didn't go to the party. That's good. Yeah, that's good. We didn't go, but, yeah, that's it.

[Dusty Slay]

I'd say, for me, it was Mexico when we got off the boat. Walk through that little. Yes. Where they try to get you to

[Graham K]

buy souvenirs, and they. You were swindled. You were into buying.

[Dusty Slay]

A lot of pressure.

[Graham K]

You bought two fridge magnets.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Graham K]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Graham K]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't know the ratio. The pesos.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But I felt pressure, so, yeah, I got back on the boat.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. That's why you don't get off.

[Graham K]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I got swindled, but. I don't know. Swindle. But a dude came out and he had a little sombrero that he had painted the Atlanta Braves logo on.

[Dusty Slay]

In Mexico.

[Aaron Weber]

In Mexico. I saw those. Yeah, I bought one.

[Graham K]

Yeah. Yeah. Dustin Nickerson bought a Seattle Seahawks one.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I mean, he got to.

[Graham K]

Nothing's more Mexico than Seattle. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, Atlanta, too. Atlanta's pretty different.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. All right, well, that's it.

[Aaron Weber]

Let's wrap it up. We cover the whole world.

[Dusty Slay]

We did.

[Graham K]

That was fun.

[Aaron Weber]

What's one place you want to go you've never been, Graham?

[Graham K]

Vietnam or Thailand?

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Graham K]

It looks really pretty. Yeah, it looks very affordable. Feel like Once you get over there, you could stay for a long time.

[Brian Bates]

Not spend a lot of money in Thailand. I think is really good, like farming and gardening and. Food looks good. Yeah, yeah, food looks really good. I think there's a bit of a, what is it, a stigma about guys wanting to go to Thailand.

[Graham K]

Yeah, you go with, you're gonna want to go with your wife. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna want to go with your wife. You just don't want to just walk around alone.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah. Yes. But I like that. You know what I'd like to go and I'm never going to do it because I even googled trying to do it and they're like, don't do it. But I'd love to go to like rural China, you know, like out of the city and just really just kind of like hang out in like the country.

[Aaron Weber]

What's it out of? What city?

[Brian Bates]

Just, yeah, just you said the city.

[Aaron Weber]

Like there's one.

[Graham K]

There's like China's like one of those countries where it's like, well, this city that you've never heard of has 10 million people. Size of New York City.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's insane.

[Brian Bates]

But it's like just, let's just take

[Aaron Weber]

street view and just put it like Alden like, you know, like, look at that.

[Graham K]

I bet you they're a lot more similar because you grew up in Alabama. Yeah, I bet you they're a lot more similar to you than they are to me.

[Brian Bates]

See, that's what I, I grew up in a city. I think too. I would love to go to the countryside in China and just kind of hang out with some people.

[Graham K]

I bet there's dudes having fun with a tractor, souping it up, ripping around.

[Aaron Weber]

You mean in like, like Tibet, like this area like on here?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Let's just see what's going on out there.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I looked up some stuff. I mean Japan had more options. It's a smaller place obviously, but they had more options for, you know, off the beaten path. But okay. But they were like, they were basically like, you know, the government could just keep you from leaving if they want to. And also a lot of. There's not. Google Maps is not as good in rural China as it's going to be in the United States.

[Graham K]

I think the government would let you hang as long as you didn't like ask too many questions. Report.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah,

[Graham K]

they want your tourist.

[Brian Bates]

My brother in law, my wife's brother lives in Beijing. He teaches in Beijing. But that's a huge city. I want to go to the countryside.

[Dusty Slay]

What about New Zealand?

[Brian Bates]

New Zealand would be great, too.

[Graham K]

I mean, China, they used to really want, like. Like Westerners, like, white people over there starting the businesses and stuff. And then like, the early 2000s era when they were, like, really booming. And now that they're their own, like, superpower, all the people that are still left over there, though, you'll be hanging. They'll be hanging out on a corner having a cigarette. I've heard this from guys, people who live over, and they'll come out with, like, a truck and they'll cut a piece of your hair, and then they'll sample it and see if you've done drugs. And if you have, you're in jail because they want you out.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Graham K]

Yeah. And they'll put you in.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah. See, I was.

[Graham K]

That stuff is terrifying.

[Brian Bates]

I was drinking too much during the time China wanted me.

[Graham K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

[Brian Bates]

yeah. I just think that would be fun. But, yeah, I mean, obviously, the government of China is very scary.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, well,

[Graham K]

ending on that is so funny.

[Brian Bates]

That is it.

[Dusty Slay]

That's one of our best endings ever, actually. We'll pitch some shows coming up. I've been pitching these forever. Probably people are sick of hearing about them, but I'll be Denver Greeley and two nights in Casper, Wyoming, at the end of May.

[Graham K]

Nice.

[Aaron Weber]

I, Aaron Weber. I am going to be in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, at the Fort Lauderdale Improv. Used to be the Dania Beach Improv. Do you know they changed it to Fort Lauderdale?

[Brian Bates]

I didn't know that.

[Aaron Weber]

I think it's the same place, but they just recalled it. Yeah, they called it the Fort Lauderdale improv. So I'm going to be there May 15th and 16th. Jay Flake is going to be with me. Nateland alum, who you might remember, he'll be there. So come see me in Fort Lauderdale.

[Graham K]

Nice. Thank you.

[Brian Bates]

I'm going to be taking a little more time off in May. Just kind of hang out, be with the family. So I got some June dates. June 5th and 6th, I'm at the. I'm in Irvine, California, at the improv. The 19th, 20th, and 21st of June, I'm at the Mothership in Austin, Texas. And then June 27th, I'm at Lake Charles, Louisiana, at a casino. So come see me there.

[Graham K]

Awesome. June 5th and 6th, I'm gonna be at Yuk Yuks in my hometown of Ottawa. All right.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Graham K]

Come support your boy. I'm your boy. Please believe me. And I'm also going to be at the Comic Strip in Edmonton, Alberta.

[Aaron Weber]

Nice.

[Graham K]

July 30th to August 1st oh, and another. Can I do one more? Yes, this is one I need.

[Aaron Weber]

Do as many as you want.

[Graham K]

These are all door deals, so I need people to come out. Little Mountain gallery in Vancouver, BC Friday, September 4 and September 5 Little Mountain Gallery, Vancouver Graham K. September 45 thanks

[Aaron Weber]

and check out the special out right now on YouTube.

[Dusty Slay]

Pete and me.

[Aaron Weber]

Pete and me on the Nate land on the YouTube channel you're watching right now.

[Dusty Slay]

It's great.

[Aaron Weber]

Flip it over. Check it out.

[Graham K]

Thanks, guys.

[Dusty Slay]

Go check it out.

[Graham K]

Appreciate it.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Good man. Good job, Graham.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, buddy. Graham, good seeing you.

[Brian Bates]

All right. We're having a good time.

[Graham K]

Thanks, guys.

[Brian Bates]

Save on family essentials at Safeway and Albertsons this week at Safeway and Albertsons, Fresh cut cantaloupe, watermelon, pineapple or melon medley bowls 24 ounces are $5 each

[Aaron Weber]

and wild caught lobster tails are $4.99 each.

[Dusty Slay]

Limit eight member price plus selected sizes

[Aaron Weber]

and varieties of Doritos, Lays, Cheetos, sun chips and Kettle cooked chips are $1.99 each. Limit 4 member price hurry in.

[Brian Bates]

These deals won't last. Visit safewayoralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.

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