220: #220 Whole Foods featuring The Consumers

Summary

Summary of Episode 220: "Whole Foods Featuring The Consumers" – The Nateland Podcast

Release Date: October 2, 2024

---

1. Introduction and Personal Updates (00:00 – 05:00)

The episode begins with Brian Bates welcoming listeners and introducing the regular hosts: Greg Warren, Dusty Slay, Sean O'Brien, and Tim Gonvi. Nate Bargatze is absent as he's in New York preparing for his upcoming appearance on "Saturday Night Live" ([01:17]). The hosts share brief personal updates, including Aaron Weber's recent experience attending an Atlanta Braves playoff game and the joyous news of his newborn daughter, Olive, weighing five pounds and four ounces ([02:16]).

2. Nateland Live and Upcoming Shows (05:00 – 20:00)

Nateland Live:
The hosts announce "Nateland Live," a new weekly show at Zany's every Monday night. Dusty Slay hosted the inaugural episode, and Greg Warren discusses past showcases like the Nick Land showcase, highlighting performances by various comedians ([07:51]). Upcoming acts include Liz Glaser, Bobby J. Cox, Simon Frazier, and Mike Goodwin, with tickets available at zanies.com ([08:33]).

Comedy Specials:
Greg Warren shares details about his upcoming comedy special scheduled for November 23rd at the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio. Dusty Slay discusses plans to record his own special at a larger venue in Columbus after feedback from Tim Convey ([09:42]).

3. Advertisements and Sponsor Mentions (Skipped)

As per instructions, advertisements, introductions, and outros are omitted from the summary.

4. Rocket Money and DraftKings Sponsorships (20:00 – 50:00)

Rocket Money:
Greg Warren introduces Rocket Money, a personal finance app that helps users manage subscriptions, monitor spending, and lower bills to grow savings. He emphasizes its effectiveness in canceling unwanted subscriptions with ease ([46:55]).

DraftKings:
The hosts promote DraftKings, the official sportsbook partner of the NFL. They highlight features like betting on simple outcomes such as the first touchdown scorer, referencing Derrick Henry's 87-yard touchdown for the Ravens as a prime example ([65:07]). Sean O'Brien humorously critiques their own sports knowledge, tying it back to the sponsorship promotion ([66:54]).

5. The Consumers Segment: Whole Foods (50:00 – 85:00)

History and Founding:
Dusty Slay delves into the origins of Whole Foods, co-founded by John Mackey and his girlfriend Renée Lawson Hardy in Austin, Texas. They initially opened "Safer Way," a health food store that eventually evolved into Whole Foods after merging with Clarksville Natural Grocery ([78:09]). The narrative includes an inspiring account of the community rallying to rebuild their store after a devastating flood in 1981, completing the reconstruction in just 28 days ([81:53]).

Philosophy and Business Practices:
John Mackey's vision for Whole Foods centered on providing organic foods free from artificial preservatives, flavors, colors, and hydrogenated oils. A notable quote from Texas Monthly captures Whole Foods' unique position:
"An honorable truce between two old enemies, health food stores and supermarkets. That's what Whole Foods was." ([74:09])

Greg Warren reflects on Whole Foods' open salary policy, where employee wages are transparent, fostering a culture of trust and accountability. Mackey's approach encouraged employees to improve their performance by providing clear guidelines and support ([86:35]).

Support for Local Brands:
Whole Foods distinguished itself by promoting local and unique brands. Mackey actively sought out local producers, integrating their products into Whole Foods stores, akin to making these brands "superstars" in the market ([84:00]). However, post-Amazon acquisition, there have been shifts in maintaining this original mission, with some local brands facing challenges like the shutdown of Atlanta Fresh ([85:08]).

Current Operations and Challenges:
Greg Warren discusses the expanded footprint of Whole Foods to over 500 stores, primarily through acquisitions. He mentions the controversial practice of selling live lobsters in individual tanks, where Whole Foods employs shockers to humanely kill them before sale, aligning with their animal-first philosophy. Additionally, they touch upon Whole Foods' mixed offerings, such as selling cigarettes in select locations despite their health-oriented image ([86:35]).

Cultural Impact and Community Engagement:
The hosts highlight Whole Foods' role in shaping the grocery industry, balancing between traditional supermarkets and niche health food stores. They discuss community-oriented initiatives, such as providing digestive enzymes and promoting healthy eating habits among customers ([89:35]). Greg shares personal anecdotes about using Whole Foods for convenient and healthy food options while traveling, emphasizing its integration into contemporary lifestyles ([90:00]).

Notable Quotes:

• Greg Warren ([17:00]): "Whole Foods is serving us up the best of the best, but I also feel like in the grocery store world, that's your best option."
• Dusty Slay ([74:09]): "An honorable truce between two old enemies, health food stores and supermarkets. That's what Whole Foods was."
• Brian Bates ([85:08]): "Whole Foods, you have to maintain that original mission despite the changes brought by Amazon."

6. Closing Remarks and Listener Engagement (85:00 – End)

The hosts wrap up the episode by sharing upcoming show dates and locations:

• Nate Bargatze: Upcoming shows in Las Vegas opening for Nikki Glaser and David Spade at the Venetian ([26:34]).
• Brian Bates: Shows in Knoxville, Louisville, Columbus, Dayton, and Louisville Comedy Club ([100:02]).
• Greg Warren: Performing at the Lexington Opera House in Kentucky and Charleston, South Carolina ([24:54]).
• Dusty Slay: Shows in Youngstown, Pittsburgh, Rosemont (Chicago suburb), and Clarksville, Tennessee, including a special on November 23rd in Columbus ([33:28]).

Listener Comments:
The hosts read and react to listener feedback, highlighting positive reviews and humorous faux critiques they fabricated for entertainment purposes ([37:02]).

Final Promotions:
The episode concludes with brief mentions of sponsor products like Jack Black deodorant and Bartesian cocktail makers, along with reminders about upcoming "The Consumers" episodes focusing on brands like Lego ([21:00], [73:19]).

---

Key Takeaways and Insights

• Whole Foods' Strategic Growth:
  Whole Foods successfully bridged the gap between health food stores and mainstream supermarkets through strategic acquisitions and a strong emphasis on organic, high-quality products.

• Community and Transparency:
  The company's open salary policy and dedication to local brands fostered a loyal community and set industry standards for transparency and ethical business practices.

• Challenges Post-Acquisition:
  The acquisition by Amazon introduced new dynamics, presenting both opportunities for expansion and challenges in maintaining the original mission of supporting local producers and prioritizing quality over mass production.

• Cultural Influence:
  Whole Foods has significantly influenced consumer perceptions of healthy eating, making organic and natural products more accessible to the general public while maintaining a premium market position.

• Adaptation and Innovation:
  The brand continues to innovate with unique product offerings and customer engagement strategies, adapting to modern consumer needs while retaining its foundational values.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Greg Warren ([17:00]):
  "Whole Foods is serving us up the best of the best, but I also feel like in the grocery store world, that's your best option."

• Dusty Slay ([74:09]):
  "An honorable truce between two old enemies, health food stores and supermarkets. That's what Whole Foods was."

• Brian Bates ([85:08]):
  "Whole Foods encourages a little bit of local flair. But no, you can't be selling cigarettes."

---

This detailed summary encapsulates the key discussions, insights, and humorous interactions among the hosts, providing a comprehensive overview of Episode 220 for those who haven't listened to the full podcast.

Transcript

[Nate Bargatze]

Nateland is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

[Brian Bates]

Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Jack Black, rocket money and DraftKings. Hello, folks, and hey, Bear. I'm Brian Bates. As always, Tim Gonvi, Greg Warren, Dusty Slay. All right, Sean O'Brien.

[Greg Warren]

The usual gang had a real podcast takeover here. We really like Outnumbered on our own podcast here.

[Brian Bates]

You guys might laugh at that. When I said that, but I feel.

[Greg Warren]

Like I'm doing their podcast, I giggled.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I sort of myself.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Dusty and I feel like we're guests on Yalls podcast. We'll talk about that later. Nate is not here for obvious reasons. Nate is in New York getting ready for Saturday Night Live.

[Greg Warren]

We're happy for him. He needed that guy needed to catch a break.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, finally.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just some low end music activity, right? Like some Fly by Night coming.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Breaking ground play. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Local band finally getting a break. No, I'm saying that I love Coldplay too, so. Yeah. Huge.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. The first time he was on the Foo Fighters.

[Nate Bargatze]

My God.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Crazy.

[Brian Bates]

It's crazy. So Nate is better band New York now doing snl. Aaron. Aaron's in Atlanta at the Braves game. They're at, you know, they're in playoff run and Lucy had the baby. But then he's like, my buddy's got tickets, so he's Atlanta. No, Aaron. They had their baby Saturday afternoon. Baby Olive.

[Greg Warren]

Big time.

[Brian Bates]

I texted with Aaron this morning. He said, tell everybody mom and baby are doing great. Thank you for all the prayers. Five pounds, four ounces.

[Nate Bargatze]

Great.

[Brian Bates]

He said she had blonde hair. And he'll be on hopefully back next week. And we'll have photos and we'll hear all about it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Depending on how this goes, maybe we don't have either of those guys back. You know what I mean?

[Dusty Slay]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Wow, that's a bold one.

[Dusty Slay]

I'd feel bad about that.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, I would love it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, do it.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, we'll see what happens.

[Dusty Slay]

Is it if. You know, I was thinking about getting Aaron's baby, like a Atlantic Braves baseball card. Or something, you know, like somebody from, Like, Dale Murphy or somebody like that or Hank Aaron. You think you still do that? If it's a girl?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I don't see why not.

[Dusty Slay]

You guys got kids?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, absolutely. I only have boys, which you got. You got my son a baseball card when he was born.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Timo Perez.

[Greg Warren]

I have a boy. I didn't. I don't remember getting one of those, but, you know, that's okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I, I. I might not even known you when you had.

[Greg Warren]

Probably not, but.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. It's been almost a year, so.

[Nate Bargatze]

Get a card. Get a card for this one.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. I'll get you. What's your son's name?

[Greg Warren]

Sam.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, man. I need to think about that. Nothing comes to mind right away.

[Nate Bargatze]

MLB players named Sam. There's got to be somebody. Sam Malone was a fake MLB player.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Probably got a card out there somewhere. I can't think. Anybody else.

[Greg Warren]

It's okay. I am. I am. I am okay about it.

[Dusty Slay]

Sam Cassell played basketball for the Houston Rockets.

[Nate Bargatze]

It's a basketball player.

[Greg Warren]

Perfect. Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Sam Perkins did, too, right?

[Dusty Slay]

For. Yeah. I can't remember who he played for. I think maybe Portland.

[Greg Warren]

Is there a Sam. Seattle quarterback.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah. Bradford.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

He was not good.

[Nate Bargatze]

He was not good. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Great college quarterback for those by now.

[Brian Bates]

I'm very excited to have you guys, because last month I was in St. Louis, and Greg said, I'm gonna get you on the Christie show.

[Dusty Slay]

And Courtney.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, is Courtney.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

He got you on the Christie Show.

[Sean O'Brien]

Boy, man, it's your career, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

I love you, and I think you're funny, but you can't. You can't get on the Christie Show.

[Brian Bates]

No, that's too hard. Christie show is the Courtney Show.

[Dusty Slay]

Excuse me.

[Brian Bates]

Courtney Show. Tim said, come on the Courtney Show. And I'm like, I'd love to. And then I get there, and Courtney's not there.

[Greg Warren]

It was Christie.

[Nate Bargatze]

Courtney was filling in for Christie. You came in to fill in for Courtney.

[Brian Bates]

So when these guys said, hey, can we come on Nate's podcast? I think I got the perfect week for you guys. Yeah, I'll return the favor. Okay. That's what I'm doing, Tim.

[Nate Bargatze]

Nice. Lovely. Yeah, you came on. So I'm on the Courtney Show. You came on, and we. We hadn't. No, we had met briefly just a few days before here at Zany's. And then you showed up, and we're like, courtney's out. You're just on. You're just doing the show with us. And we had. We had a great time.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I was on for like three. Three hours.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Did not get paid, but no.

[Nate Bargatze]

Well, we want to see how this goes. I feel like it's an equal.

[Dusty Slay]

What do you. What are you looking for as far as compensation? Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

To meet Courtney.

[Brian Bates]

I think I got a joke out of it.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. That's worth everything. Come on, man.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I'm our pal Ron from the funny bone.

[Nate Bargatze]

Drove Brian to see us on the Courtney show. So they came over and Brian had a. I could tell somebody had been affected by something. And you shared it.

[Brian Bates]

Well, we got there a little early. It's the crack it. I just met Ron is out very often with morning radio. They club send someone to pick you up that you've never met. It's you just rolled out of bed.

[Greg Warren]

They go, let me clean my car out.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Every time.

[Brian Bates]

Throw some stuff over. And then you climb in and you go do morning radio. I just met him. We get to the radio station a little early. I said, hey, can we go through that McDonald's drive thru so I can get some breakfast before we do it? And he's like, sure. So we go through the drive thru and I ordered the bacon egg@Cheese McGriddle McDonald's. And she said, that'll be 8.93. Would you like to round up to $9 for charity? And I just instinctively say, no.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, perfect.

[Brian Bates]

And then the right answer, I said to take a step further. I said to Ron, I was like, she even said what the charity was for. I'm not going to give her money. And Ron said, well, it's probably for the Ronald McDonald House. The reason I know is because my daughter had open heart surgery.

[Greg Warren]

That's great.

[Brian Bates]

And we stayed there for many weeks and then we just sat in silence in the drive through. We roll up, I have to hand the woman. She hands me seven cents over Ron's face. Here, give this nickel and two pennies to your daughter. Hope she's doing well. And then he drops me off the radio station.

[Greg Warren]

So is it free to go to the Ronald McDonald House?

[Nate Bargatze]

It is. Yeah, free.

[Brian Bates]

Not anymore. Because I didn't get it. Used to be now he's a little tax.

[Greg Warren]

It is free.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

If it's free, I would donate. Yeah, I'm into that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's a good thing.

[Greg Warren]

Sometimes they'll be like, yeah, donate. And then you go, oh, is it free? And they go, oh, no, you still pay a lot of money to be there. But the money's going to research And I go, yeah, you can find your own research.

[Dusty Slay]

Hamburglar House, though, is quite a bit.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[Brian Bates]

That's a ripoff.

[Nate Bargatze]

He's a crook.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a. It's a profit charity. Terrible. You're right. He's a crook.

[Nate Bargatze]

Unbelievable.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So anyway, Nate will be gone forever. Aaron should be back next week, and we'll hear all about the baby. Nateland Live is the new weekly show we have here. Right here at the Lab at Zany's every Monday night. I hosted last week was the first one. Dusty's hosting tonight. Great lineup of comics every Monday.

[Greg Warren]

Okay. Lineup, good host tonight.

[Nate Bargatze]

Strong, strong. Get there early.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Leave whenever you want.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Get your [e-mail] if you're coming.

[Greg Warren]

Time, guys.

[Brian Bates]

And then we also have the Nick Land showcase. And Dusty hosted last month. It was a hot show. You were on that show, Greg.

[Dusty Slay]

I was on that show.

[Brian Bates]

Nick Murphy was on. You guys remember Nick?

[Dusty Slay]

He was great. Everybody on that show was great.

[Greg Warren]

That was a particularly hot show.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but Nick's comes out this week. That's why.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, everybody had really hot sets on that show. It was so. It was a great show. Nate did a guest spot. I mean, it was like, boom, boom, boom.

[Brian Bates]

I'm hosting this month. It's gonna be another hot show. Got a lot of good cup. Liz. Liz Glaser, Bobby J. Cox. St. Louis guy, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Simon Frazier and Mike Goodwin, all very funny.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

All be on their best behavior. And if you're here in Nashville, tickets go on sale for the next showcase, November 4th at the Lab. So November 4th is the next one at the Lab. Also, Nate lands recording Steven Rogers special. Very funny.

[Dusty Slay]

Steven Rogers. Yeah, that would be great.

[Brian Bates]

He's doing it at the Comedy Fort in Fort Collins, Colorado. That's October 12th at the Comedy Fort. And our very own Greg Warren doing another special.

[Sean O'Brien]

Look out.

[Greg Warren]

This guy's a writing machine.

[Brian Bates]

He is cranking it out.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, he is.

[Brian Bates]

November 23rd at the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio. That's a great club.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's a big one. You know what? I was going to do it in St. Louis, my home club that it's, like, easy to fill. It's like I can fill that thing in a heartbeat. But my friend Tim Convey told me it was a stupid idea to film there because the setup wasn't right, the ceilings were too low. And I had Nate's guys take a look at it and they agreed. So I'm going to Columbus, which is. It's a huge club.

[Greg Warren]

And I guess it looks good.

[Brian Bates]

I think it'll take.

[Greg Warren]

It will look great. It looks like a theater almost.

[Dusty Slay]

But I gotta fill it. And if I don't fill it, it's on Tim Convey.

[Nate Bargatze]

It's on me. So if you're listening, buy tickets. But also, this is just. It's gonna make. It's gonna look better. This is gonna pay off. I assure you. We'll.

[Greg Warren]

Columbus is a great city. The club is great. Club is fantastic.

[Nate Bargatze]

And you've talked about how you're going for more of an artsy thing anyway, right? So I think the lighting is important on this one.

[Brian Bates]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

Artsy.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah. That was kind of your. The priorities had shifted a little bit on this one.

[Dusty Slay]

I was mostly.

[Nate Bargatze]

You kept talking about a statement you wanted to make.

[Greg Warren]

I always think artsy. I always think artsy when I think graphics.

[Dusty Slay]

Totally.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah. This is fashion.

[Dusty Slay]

No, no, that's what you.

[Nate Bargatze]

That's why I led you in that direction. I was under the impression this is all terrible.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, well, jokes is really.

[Greg Warren]

People say, who's a good alt comic? I always send them your.

[Dusty Slay]

Totally. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I tend to see myself as right. Right down the middle, almost avant garde.

[Nate Bargatze]

I think, is what you think.

[Dusty Slay]

So.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, I can feel that.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. It's Neil hamburger. Greg Warren.

[Nate Bargatze]

100%. Yeah. So November and Columbus.

[Dusty Slay]

Do not miss that hamburger is more avant garde than me.

[Brian Bates]

When did you guys get to town?

[Dusty Slay]

I got in last night. I flew in from Pittsburgh and these guys got in.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, we just drove in a few hours ago.

[Brian Bates]

So you wore that jersey even after you'd seen the game?

[Sean O'Brien]

No, Man, I'm so proud of the bill. Yeah, I know. I deserve. That was an ugly, ugly game last night. I just love him so much. So I was like, I got to showcase them on a cool platform, so. And now I'm paying the price because I'm warm and because they look. They got their heads kicked in last. I'm warm.

[Brian Bates]

You know, Dusty used to work with the Buffalo Bill.

[Greg Warren]

That's true. Yeah. My old boss played for the Buffalo Bills way back. He was in his late 60s when I worked for him, so. Named Stu Barber.

[Brian Bates]

And there's a local comic, Corey Knox, that played briefly with the Bills.

[Greg Warren]

That's true.

[Nate Bargatze]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

Very briefly.

[Brian Bates]

I think he was on maybe practice squad, maybe played a preseason game.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, so you. That was when you were selling pesticides.

[Greg Warren]

Pesticides, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You had a guy.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

My.

[Greg Warren]

My ball. He retired and I got his job, but I was a seasonal employee for him. But he was Great. We had a lot of fun.

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't know you moved up, man.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, moved up one. One position and actually they restructured the company and then I kind of like by default moved up a position. Yeah, I was a. My title was a district manager.

[Nate Bargatze]

I'm kidding.

[Greg Warren]

That's my pay. Never changed. And you know.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, really.

[Greg Warren]

After my initial move up, My initial move up, I became a salaried employee with a car allowance.

[Dusty Slay]

Sean sold cars.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, man.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

That was a grind. Three years. Loved it.

[Dusty Slay]

But never like a promotion. It's a flat organization. Right. There's no.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, it was just like, hey, you sign up, you want to. My interview was like, you want to make some money? That's literally what a guy, my manager told a 23 year old kid. He goes, you classic Italian guy look like, I swear, like Pesci in like casino.

[Greg Warren]

Just, oh, yeah, back here.

[Sean O'Brien]

Nice suit. And he goes, so you want to make some money? I go, I mean that, man, that'd be great. I love money. He goes, here's this pamphlet on Dodge products. Read it. In two days, see a Monday. And that was it. Just in. And then they're like, there's the floor, kid. Just go talk to people. I was like, all right, I guess we're going to do this.

[Greg Warren]

And then you did it for three years.

[Sean O'Brien]

I did it for three years.

[Greg Warren]

So you made.

[Sean O'Brien]

But I really only made money like the last year because the first year they're like, I'm like, hey, how's it going today? They're like, yeah, we're just looking. I'd be like, see you later. And then I just be like, all right, now. I always had no sort of like, how to combat objections.

[Greg Warren]

Now you're like, let me get your ID and oh, oh, man.

[Sean O'Brien]

We were, we were. It would be like, let me get your keys to your trade in.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, that was the move. Then you held them hostage.

[Sean O'Brien]

You'd be like, oh, you think of trading that car? Yeah, we're thinking about it. You give me your keys. I'm going to have my used car trade and manager take a look. He didn't exist. It's me. And then we just take the keys. I give it to like some lot guy and then he vanishes for two hours. And they're like, yeah, I'm ready to go. I'm like, yeah, I swear you're. They're around here somewhere.

[Greg Warren]

Just give us a minute.

[Sean O'Brien]

Let me crunch some more numbers.

[Greg Warren]

I just chiseled out.

[Dusty Slay]

Kid, get in the car with our lot guy. Too.

[Sean O'Brien]

Very unethical.

[Brian Bates]

Dirt bag tag.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes. Dusty was all about.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I mean, you got to make a sale. You know what I mean? So I get it. You got to make the sale.

[Dusty Slay]

He was closer to you than me. I was. There's principles, I think.

[Brian Bates]

Now, will you guys talk about this kind of stuff on the consumers?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we talk a little bit. We talk a little about everything.

[Brian Bates]

First episode came out yesterday.

[Dusty Slay]

Yesterday? That episode was the Dunkin Donuts episode. We pick one brand every week, and we do. We do a deep dive on it.

[Greg Warren]

We're about to get a Dunkin Donuts right across the street.

[Nate Bargatze]

No kidding.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah. That's big.

[Nate Bargatze]

Really?

[Brian Bates]

Just Dunkin now, right?

[Nate Bargatze]

Just Dunkin.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You can dunk anything you want now. Doesn't that just have to be donuts?

[Dusty Slay]

Yep.

[Brian Bates]

Comes out every Tuesday.

[Dusty Slay]

Every Tuesday.

[Brian Bates]

Already got some reviews. Came out yesterday. Already have some reviews here.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Let's read a couple. Let the other guys talk. Greg was one.

[Sean O'Brien]

Very reasonable and makes sense.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And this one says, oh, I love Greg as a guest on Nate Land and on Bob and Tom, but not really a leading man kind of guy. Don't know if he can carry a podcast himself.

[Dusty Slay]

I have some of these. I hate it when they. Sounds like all the doubts that you have about yourself, they just zero in on.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, well, I kind of made that up, so those weren't real.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, that hurts, actually.

[Sean O'Brien]

That does hurt because I actually thought they were real. And I was like, nice people understand.

[Dusty Slay]

What I'm cheering for.

[Greg Warren]

All right, Sweet. That is the comments you get. You can get comments like, you suck or whatever, and it's like, those are fine, but when they. They'll find one that's like. Like a deep. Like, you're like, whoa, do you know me? Have you known me since child?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they do have a way.

[Greg Warren]

Sometimes the reasonable comments are the worst. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Reasonably negative, well thought out comments.

[Greg Warren]

You got like, I can tell this guy has a lot of insecurities based on the way he moves around. And I'm like, oh, geez, this guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Makes a strong point.

[Greg Warren]

I think he peed his pants a little bit before he walked on stage.

[Sean O'Brien]

How did he.

[Dusty Slay]

Who's talking?

[Brian Bates]

Those are the worst.

[Nate Bargatze]

The leading man thing hurt. Were you nervous about being a leading man?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I wasn't starring in a Scorsese film. I'm talking about donuts and peanut butter.

[Nate Bargatze]

Fairly easy transition.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And White Castles. But no, I think I'm very proud of that first episode.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, it's a good time.

[Dusty Slay]

And the ones coming well, what about.

[Greg Warren]

A little taste of what. When you say you do a deep dive on Dunkin Donuts, what do you. What are you. What are you going in on?

[Dusty Slay]

You want to talk Duncan or you want to talk a new brand?

[Brian Bates]

Well, we can talk. We're going to talk a new brand today. We're going to get through these comments first, but just do a deep dive on.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, what do you guys remember about Duncan?

[Greg Warren]

I mean, like, when they got started.

[Nate Bargatze]

So Duncan. Duncan's big thing. Duncan was the franchise one, right. That France franchises basically exist today as we know them because of Dunkin Donut. It was frowned upon. Everybody hated evil whole idea of franchises. In fact, in some states, you could not advertise that you were a franchise. You couldn't. You couldn't mention it. It was almost illegal to franchise. And the main Duncan guy was like, it was the only way he thought he was going to make money. All he's selling is donuts and coffee. So he went big, talked all these guys into franchising, and that's why we have franchises. Wow.

[Greg Warren]

So Duncan ruined it for us.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yes, yes.

[Sean O'Brien]

Pretty much.

[Nate Bargatze]

Quality of everything is worse because of Dunkin Donuts.

[Dusty Slay]

The other thing is the guy, Bill Rosenberg, I think, is the guy that started Dunkin Donuts. He was like a kid and he dropped out of school in the eighth grade because it was the Depression. And this kid was like a hustler. And they said one of the ways where he made a bunch of money as a kid, he would take a big block of ice and he would haul it to the horse racetrack and he would sell ice chips and he made a ton of money doing it.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Which one? I don't know anybody that's eaten ice chips other than pregnant women. And I don't know if they should be betting on horses. Maybe they should.

[Greg Warren]

And it's a different time, though. It's real hot. Maybe they didn't have air conditioner.

[Sean O'Brien]

I guess my thing is, who is the stadium letting him come in and do that. Like, I can't go to where the Titans play and just walk in with some sort of bags of ice and be like, oh, don't mind me, guys. I'm just here selling stuff next to your concession.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

A little suspect.

[Dusty Slay]

We talked a little bit about that. We. I don't know. I thought that was pretty interesting. They had that. They had that donut with a handle for a very long time. Do you remember that?

[Greg Warren]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

It was like a donut and it had like a. It had like a handle for people.

[Nate Bargatze]

Who love donuts but wish there was a handle.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You know how when you're. If you don't have a handle, it.

[Greg Warren]

Wasn'T an edible handle? No, it was okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Edible handle.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Which really is just more donut.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

They didn't think it completely through.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But they stopped doing that, I believe, 2001.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Because it's like a thing we.

[Greg Warren]

Like a tire with a boot on it.

[Nate Bargatze]

Right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yes. Right. It's a lot like.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

They're really trying to push their coffee now, though, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. That's why they went to Duncan.

[Greg Warren]

American runs on Duncan.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

We said. Which we felt was one of the best taglines pretty much in history.

[Greg Warren]

And it was John Goodman doing it. Right.

[Nate Bargatze]

What?

[Greg Warren]

I think John, we missed that.

[Sean O'Brien]

Somebody fumbled that ball.

[Dusty Slay]

That was. I think that Tim was supposed to do that.

[Greg Warren]

I think. Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

That was a conv.

[Greg Warren]

John Goodman is the voiceover. America runs on Duncan.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I don't know if he's not. He sounds a lot like him.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

If Aaron was here, we'd look it up.

[Nate Bargatze]

We have to recut that.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

We'll find out next week.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

I'm humiliated. He's a St. Louis, and too. He really blew.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. He grew up.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Nate Bargatze]

I'm hoping he's not. I'm hoping it's not him.

[Greg Warren]

John Goodman was really great. You hate to. You hate to be anti someone losing weight, but it felt like when John Goodman lost a lot of weight, it's like he seemed like a different guy.

[Nate Bargatze]

I agree.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And I'm happy for him, but he's a different guy now.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah. Heavy John was great, man.

[Greg Warren]

And he had range.

[Sean O'Brien]

That's what I loved about the guy. Yeah. He, like, made arachnophobia funny.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

That movie still haunts me this day. And he's hilarious.

[Greg Warren]

He is hilarious in that movie.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe he just got a little older.

[Greg Warren]

It's gonna be. It, too.

[Dusty Slay]

Could be.

[Nate Bargatze]

No, he made an effort. He was a big guy. He was. He played Babe Ruth. He's big. And then all of a sudden, we're just supposed to take him seriously. And he's still playing. What's his name? Dan Connor. But he's skinny now.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Nate Bargatze]

I'm with you. I was not rooting for him.

[Dusty Slay]

He's gonna play Ty Cobb.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Well, you get older.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It's good.

[Nate Bargatze]

It's not bad at all.

[Brian Bates]

Willie McGee.

[Dusty Slay]

Willie McGee would have been a better one.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Strong. And I know your podcast is great, because everything you do is great. I made those jokes kind of bomb, but I think.

[Sean O'Brien]

No, I didn't. I loved it. I'm glad you did. And that makes me feel a lot.

[Dusty Slay]

Of the podcast is Sean and I don't agree on a lot. Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

We don't see eye to eye and just pretty much in life. So we decided to join forces just to make. Yeah. Sometimes on paper doesn't fit. But I'm sure we'll get through it after episode four.

[Brian Bates]

Greg says you're a huge fan of the Nightline podcast.

[Sean O'Brien]

I love it, man. I am close.

[Brian Bates]

Tim's never seen one.

[Dusty Slay]

Tim speaks out against it.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah. Do not care for it.

[Greg Warren]

I've never seen an episode either.

[Nate Bargatze]

Is that right? No, I'm a big fan. I'm. Yeah. I'm way into it.

[Brian Bates]

What do you guys. About Jack Black deodorant.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Anybody care to hear about that?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Immediately I see my wife's body care products and they're always so much nicer than mine. I can finally compete because I found Jack Black. This podcast is sponsored by Jack Black. Jack Black just came out with four new sense of isn't. There's nothing funny about it. Dusty. Four new sense of their number one deodorant, Pit Boss. This is Pit Boss.

[Dusty Slay]

What's it called?

[Brian Bates]

Pit Boss.

[Dusty Slay]

The brand Jack Black.

[Brian Bates]

Jack Black deodorant. I just tried it and there's a huge difference. This is. Let's get a sniff here. Yeah, that's Abigail's. She uses. It's amazing. It controls odor and wetness no matter what we're doing. Jack Black original Pit Boss deodorant is a top seller. But now you can have the same reliable odor and witness protection in four new masculine scents. We just had an episode about smells and Jack Black is men's scents that were all the top of our favorite smells. Big Sur offers a refreshing aroma that mixes marine Accord and amber blue. Midnight features adventurous notes of black pepper and lavender. Jackson presents a grounding blend of bamboo and violet. And Black Reserve is an elite woody formula with striking notes of cardamom and cedar wood.

[Nate Bargatze]

Cardamom.

[Dusty Slay]

That's good stuff.

[Brian Bates]

Is it?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Put that in pies. Pumpkin pies.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Greg Warren]

The real test. I think Abigail put that on. Let's get her in here. Let's smell her pits.

[Brian Bates]

The next place. That's a different type of podcast. That's more of a Howard Stern type thing. I use Howard Stern. I use Jack Black this morning. My favorite scent. This is all Abigail. Abigail used Jack Black this morning. Her favorite Scent is Blue Midnight, but you really can't go wrong with any of them. It just leaves you refreshed and ready to go. Along with deodorant, Jack Black offers a full line of men's products for every need for cleaning to moisturizing beard care. It's so nice to have a men's luxury brand. You got a little bit of a.

[Nate Bargatze]

Well, yeah, and I love. I love luxury, so it's. It works. I know. That's a deodorant and antiperspirant combined crossover, if you will.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

And it's about time.

[Brian Bates]

If you want simple, effective products that do what they say they're going to do, you need Jack Black Head to getjackblack.com nate and use code nate for 10% off your order and free shipping. Once again, that's getjackblack.com nate for 10% off your Order plus free shipping. And make sure you use our promo code Nate so they know we sent you.

[Greg Warren]

That was a quality ad raid.

[Brian Bates]

Thank you.

[Dusty Slay]

I thought so. I like it when you run. Run the Jack and the Black together and say jack Black. Yeah, I like that.

[Brian Bates]

Jack Black theater.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

We didn't do where we were this weekend.

[Greg Warren]

No, we didn't. I had some hot shows.

[Brian Bates]

Let's hear about it.

[Greg Warren]

I was in Lexington at the Lexington Opera House in Kentucky. Hot show. Lexington's always great, you know, great film, a special there. I always say that the worst thing about. Because I am doing some theaters now. The worst part about it is leaving clubs that I really like. The Comedy Off Broadway is a great club. I like doing it. I hate that I didn't get to do it there when I was there. And then I went over to Bristol, Tennessee, to the Paramount. And. Very sad stuff happening in east Tennessee and North Carolina. But somehow even being in east Tennessee, I didn't see any of it, so.

[Brian Bates]

And how was your crowd?

[Greg Warren]

Really great. Yeah, Great crowds.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe it was the Virginia side of Bristol.

[Greg Warren]

Maybe so. Well, I stayed in the Virginia side and then I drove into Tennessee. But it was great.

[Nate Bargatze]

Are you claiming hoax.

[Greg Warren]

What's that?

[Nate Bargatze]

Are you claiming maybe this is.

[Greg Warren]

No, no. I'm just saying I was. I was blessed to not experience anything. Not even any bad rain. Yeah, it cleared up each night so I could have cigars outside. I mean, it rained all day, and then at night it cleared up so I could smoke cigars.

[Dusty Slay]

You do that after every show? Yeah, we hung out in the parking lot after the last time I did a show here.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And you smoked some cigars I don't smoke them, but it was.

[Greg Warren]

It's so great.

[Dusty Slay]

It's cool to be around it.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, I'm trying to start. I mean that. Yeah, I really am. They just. It looks so much fun, but I just, I think you inhale a little bit and that's not good.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, I don't. Yeah, you can't inhale.

[Sean O'Brien]

I don't mean to. I just like out of instant. And then I'm like, confidence.

[Greg Warren]

It's so fun to just, you know, after the show. It's a good wind down. I find if I do cigars before shows, that's a real mistake. All my energy is gone. I'm already a low energy comic. And then halfway through the show I'm like, can I even finish this? But after post show.

[Sean O'Brien]

So you still get a little nicotine though by puffing on them, right?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All in the glands. And then I wind down and then I go back to my hotel and stay up till 3am on TikTok. You know what I mean?

[Brian Bates]

Were you guys anywhere this weekend?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, I was in Las Vegas. I got to open for Nikki Glaser and David Spade do a residency out there. So they were there together every couple months. And yeah, I get to open those shows at the Venetian. And yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, place is incredible. And the casino and Vegas and all that. And yeah, Spade was amazing and yeah, Nikki's great. It was, yeah, real, real fun shows.

[Brian Bates]

That's awesome.

[Nate Bargatze]

No cigars. Lots of people smoking in those casinos.

[Greg Warren]

You don't need to smoke in Vegas. You can just walk through the casino.

[Nate Bargatze]

Exactly, Yep. I mean, it's, it's. And you, you're just, you're not used to that in public anymore. And then you go to a place like that and it's.

[Dusty Slay]

Put any money on the table, all over.

[Nate Bargatze]

I didn't, I don't do that. I love Vegas because I love, I love the people watching. I love that people are in a good mood. The shows are always good. But I don't, I don't gamble, I don't drink. I don't go to the clubs or any, anything like that. But I still, I have a, I have a great time.

[Dusty Slay]

My buddy Brendan Ayer said that you drug him to the Punk Rock Museum.

[Nate Bargatze]

I did.

[Dusty Slay]

He said it was, it was pretty horrible.

[Nate Bargatze]

It was, it was not great. My ex, I was real, real excited. I was really pumped and I did like. Brendan was like, I got a bunch of stuff to do today. He was working at Brad Garrett's club.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

I'm trying to take a nap before the show, and I'm like, plea. I didn't want to go solo, so he went with me. And there's nothing punk Rock about a $45 admission to the Punk Rock Museum. Yeah, it was. It was.

[Dusty Slay]

You paid his fee, though, right?

[Nate Bargatze]

I did. I got. I got Brennan's because I felt bad. It was. Listen, it was not. If you're into punk rock and you're into museums, you should go. It's not. If you're not into those things, you should not go. It's still. It does not transcend a museum.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

If that makes sense.

[Greg Warren]

Kind of punk rock to have a bad museum about punk rock, though.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, true.

[Nate Bargatze]

For a second.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

I was like, is this whole thing just this punk? Like, you pay the admission fee, you turn the corner, and it's just like.

[Greg Warren]

Some guy screaming, yeah, middle finger.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

I was like, that'd be pretty good. That'd be really punk. Yeah, It'd be a better story. But it was. I'm. I'm glad I went. It was. It was. It was fine people. They were nice.

[Greg Warren]

Some guy calling you an idiot for coming in there.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yes.

[Greg Warren]

Sort of like that sort of thing Now.

[Brian Bates]

Aren't you in a punk rock band?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, I'm in. I'm in a band called Ludo that is certainly some punk influence. And then I do a band that does two shows a year. So one is basically punk rock Disney.

[Brian Bates]

Like my comedy.

[Nate Bargatze]

We do. Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Two shows a year.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

All drivable.

[Greg Warren]

I've always said Brian's comedy is punk rock.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. We got avant garde and punk rock.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Like two comedy pillars. Yeah. So I do a band that plays punk rock versions of Disney songs. We do a punk rock Disney, and then punk rock Christmas, which we do in St. Louis. It'll be December 7th. So it's all your favorite Christmas songs, the hymns, whatever, but by this. This cool punk band and. Yeah, it's. It's. It's fun. And I saw a bunch of my friends that I used to tour with and stuff, all in the museum. No, I had. We were not. My band. Not represented in the Punk Rockets.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, you mean, like, display the museum?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah. Like, their gold records are up or what? It was, like, jacket that guys I knew wore and stuff. And I kept kind of, like, looking around every corner. No Ludo.

[Dusty Slay]

Nothing.

[Nate Bargatze]

No Ludo. Yeah. Rude. So I started my own little.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, did you.

[Nate Bargatze]

There's a thing in the bathroom where it's already.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

That's Good.

[Brian Bates]

We'll check it out.

[Nate Bargatze]

Put up a vinyl. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Which is really hard to see that.

[Nate Bargatze]

Which is really more punk, too, to be like our exhibits in the bathroom. Yeah. Felt good, but, yeah, Vegas was great. Great weekend.

[Brian Bates]

Sean, were you anywhere?

[Sean O'Brien]

I was off last week and I went to see my girlfriend. I went to see the Bare Naked Ladies with O. The Wet Sprocket. So if you're 40 or over, you probably know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I think so. Very fun, man. Just to the Bare Naked Lace. Silly. The guy's running bits on stage. He did it. He did a bit on stage. He ends. He's doing whatever, like a million dollars. And then he just goes, guys, you want to hear a joke? And the whole crowd's like, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh, no, just play the music.

[Greg Warren]

I don't have time for this aggravation.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, but whatever, you know? And then he goes, I bet you. Let's see if you can fill. He goes, so I was in a library, and I go up. I go up to the. To the lady working at the counter.

[Dusty Slay]

Library.

[Sean O'Brien]

I go, yeah, let me get two cheeseburgers, large fries.

[Greg Warren]

I know this joke.

[Dusty Slay]

Great joke.

[Sean O'Brien]

Extra large Coke. Actually, make that. Make the three fries.

[Greg Warren]

That'll be it.

[Sean O'Brien]

And the librarian goes, sir, this is a library. And then he goes, sorry, may I.

[Greg Warren]

Please have two large friendships?

[Sean O'Brien]

I'm not good at street jokes again. I was like. I called that. I was like, I get my girl. A little elbow. I go, watch this. I'll punch this in first. So I had a friend. The crowd's like, oh, no way. This is crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Whoever wrote that joke's great.

[Greg Warren]

I just.

[Sean O'Brien]

I shouldn't be able to predict it.

[Greg Warren]

It's like, I'm too. Street joke. But it's like, yeah, if you're here there to see music, it's like, I don't know. You got a joke, do a joke, but don't do a street.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, and he's a fun guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Jokes.

[Sean O'Brien]

I'll give it to him.

[Dusty Slay]

Bare Naked Ladies. You should be able to just create something.

[Greg Warren]

I bet I. And I hope this is the case. Someone just told him that, and he's like, I want to share this. I hope that's not what he does every 20 years.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

It feels like it was a St. Louis special, because he was actually at that. They were at the factory where you played. Oh, yeah, that same place. So he had a lot of. It's in this suburb called Chesterfield.

[Greg Warren]

I did that joke there, too.

[Dusty Slay]

You open cut To Bates tonight on the show, going broke into my old apartment. That's a Bare Naked lady song, right?

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah. Well, he was really proud because then if I had a million dollars. He references something about, like, Chesterfield or an autumn. And Chesterfield is the suburb where the factory is. So he was very proud of that.

[Greg Warren]

Okay. Very.

[Sean O'Brien]

And he, like, called it, like, mid song. He broke song. And he goes, guys, you see, you see, I wrote this song. It all fade. Happened 20 years in. I finally got the Chesterfield by saying Chesterfield. Then that one kind of bombed, actually.

[Nate Bargatze]

Did they play any songs all the way through? It sounds like they kept stopping.

[Sean O'Brien]

They stopped a lot, man. They played nine songs, four and a half hour concert, so.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm kidding.

[Greg Warren]

No, they did the Journey they Take.

[Sean O'Brien]

And then they closed with AC DC highway to Hell, which I thought was Dusty's favorite song. Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

So, you know, not a well, though.

[Greg Warren]

You know, I mean, you know, I grew up liking those songs. But then you realize what you're singing, and I'm like, oh, yeah, no, I don't want that.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I don't want to sing. I'm on a highway to. I don't even want to say it.

[Nate Bargatze]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

We were at.

[Greg Warren]

You guys can sing it all you want, but that's not. That's not what I'm trying.

[Brian Bates]

We were at a birthday party where there was a band, and they're like, everybody gather round up here. And we all went up there enthusiastically. And that was the song that they started playing. Dusty.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And then the guy goes, so there's this librarian.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And they want to rope us all into, you know, trying to go to hell out here. And I'm like, you know what? I'm good, guys.

[Brian Bates]

Now, is it true Bare Naked Ladies came up with that name to get people to come in the door?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Really?

[Nate Bargatze]

Just put it on a poster, like this Friday at the Whatever.

[Brian Bates]

Because I've considered doing that with my comedy career. Just something similar. I don't know what it would be.

[Greg Warren]

Just seems like the ultimate free fried chicken.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Seems like the ultimate letdown, though, doesn't it? You go in, you're like, oh, yeah, Bare naked.

[Sean O'Brien]

Right.

[Greg Warren]

And then it's like, it's five Canadians. A library joke and.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Greg Warren]

You know.

[Dusty Slay]

Great. You only do that a couple of times.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Where were you?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, thanks for asking, man. I thought you're gonna skip me.

[Brian Bates]

Sure. Nope.

[Dusty Slay]

I had a show in Youngstown, Ohio, on Friday night, and then I did a show in Pittsburgh. It was like a fundraising thing for some Charity in Pittsburgh always give them back. I took money on this one every now and then. I don't. But I took money.

[Nate Bargatze]

And you didn't agree with the charity?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I agree with it. You can't do them all for free.

[Nate Bargatze]

You gotta pay the bills.

[Dusty Slay]

But they had this thing I didn't know about. Do you guys know about. In the state of Pennsylvania, at every function, like weddings and this thing and they have. They call a cookie table.

[Nate Bargatze]

I've heard of this. Keep going.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Oh, man. I walked in and immediately my eyes just went to the most beautiful baked goods you've ever seen on every table in the place. Like cupcakes and cookies.

[Greg Warren]

I've done many shows in Pennsylvania. That's never happened.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, they're not gonna have a comedy club.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but like at a wedding or. This was kind of a, you know, a charity thing where families got together and stuff.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's. I hope somebody in Pittsburgh invites me to a wedding because it was unbelievable.

[Nate Bargatze]

People bring them. I'm sorry. Everybody brings them.

[Greg Warren]

I don't know if they just appear.

[Dusty Slay]

I think it was there, man. They looked home baked and it was beautiful. Yeah. That's a PA Thing is cookie tables. I don't know if it's PA or.

[Greg Warren]

Just when you propose in Pittsburgh, things just start baking.

[Nate Bargatze]

That's really cool. I didn't know that.

[Dusty Slay]

That's great.

[Greg Warren]

That's great.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I was in Louisville, Kentucky, at the Louisville Comedy Club.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. You called me on the way up, man.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Greg has great advice.

[Sean O'Brien]

He said, well, let's take it easy.

[Brian Bates]

He said, you know, depending on the crowd size, sometimes you have to do a presentation, and sometimes you just have to have a conversation. And I started thinking about it. I was like, you know what? There's never been a time I had to do a presentation. Always just have a conversation.

[Greg Warren]

A lot of conversations.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You were telling me on the way up, you're like, I think it might be a small crowd.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, then. Just needs to be. You need to talk to them a little bit more than talk at them.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

When it's a small crowd, I like to get weird with it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. I find that's more fun.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I don't know, man. When it's a big crowd, you're not exactly straight down the line.

[Greg Warren]

That's her, too. That's her, too. That is true. That is true.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You're not reading prose up there.

[Greg Warren]

Well, I think that's weirdness I can't avoid.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, right. The automatic stuff and Then you spread your wings a little bit on the weird ones.

[Greg Warren]

But you saw Abe. Abe are there.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. He hosted. Ron McComb featured. It was. Yeah, it was a small crowd, but I had a good time.

[Dusty Slay]

Good.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah. So small. They didn't have me fill out a W9.

[Greg Warren]

So they're like, don't even worry about it. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You just told everybody the threshold. You did not meet. Everybody sort of knows that number.

[Nate Bargatze]

Every show, you're like, here's my paper.

[Greg Warren]

I love that. The tax free tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Here's some driving money.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So anyway. But I had a great time. Had a great time.

[Dusty Slay]

They should just. They just. They should pay you with, like, a card and a grandma with some.

[Nate Bargatze]

Like, some ones, they turn people away. They're like, are there no more seats? They're like, no, it's the. It's the IRS line, the W90. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

If he sells anymore.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You sell one more ticket, we're gonna have to do some paperwork.

[Nate Bargatze]

Uncle Sam finds out.

[Brian Bates]

Let's just stop now.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Not how Brian does it.

[Dusty Slay]

Keep the streak going.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Had a great time. You guys want to get in these comments?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty, you want to read or me?

[Greg Warren]

You want to do it? Do you want to do it? You want to take turns?

[Brian Bates]

No, I'll do it.

[Greg Warren]

All right. I feel like sometimes. What? I'm like, yeah, I'd like to do it. And then we get halfway through, and I'm like, I wish I had not.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Not said yeah to it.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I do want to say. Oh, go ahead.

[Dusty Slay]

No, I was gonna say you can. You can start and then bail out, you know?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. But I feel like it looks bad.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You don't want to be a quitter.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and Nate land@nate bargazzi.com. nate never reads that part. And then every week, people are always commenting, where do I email? Where do I email? So I want people to know the email is natelandatebargatze.com all right. Cameron Hadley. I really do like every episode and have never disliked a guest, but when I see the words featuring Greg Warren, I get unreasonably excited. Always some good peanut butter talk when he comes on.

[Dusty Slay]

That's pretty cool.

[Greg Warren]

Is it Greg Warren that you like or the peanut butter talk?

[Dusty Slay]

I'll take you.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it seemed like they were like, I get excited about Greg Warren and then add in always peanut butter.

[Sean O'Brien]

Like, what if Greg doesn't talk about peanut butter? That all at all, that episode.

[Greg Warren]

Or what if we just talk about peanut butter when Greg's not here, do you think that's still gonna make Cameron Hadley.

[Dusty Slay]

You're gonna render me sort of useless.

[Brian Bates]

That is true. Another good point.

[Nate Bargatze]

Expertise. I think that it's hard to duplicate.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you.

[Brian Bates]

You think Cameron's a man or a woman?

[Greg Warren]

I think a woman.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Definitely a woman.

[Greg Warren]

Who gets.

[Brian Bates]

You wanted to be a woman? Because Cameron's getting unreasonably excited.

[Sean O'Brien]

I just like unreasonably excited. Yeah, I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna start saying yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

As somebody who's unreasonable most of the time.

[Sean O'Brien]

Correct. Man, you're right. So I'll be unreasonably excited while I'm being unreasonable.

[Brian Bates]

Melanie Hughes, beyond excited to hear Greg Warren's podcast will be joining the lineup of the Nateland Channel. Sounds like an awesome premise. Hoping Nate Land will eventually have one podcast to listen to for each day of the week. Keep on creating.

[Greg Warren]

Wow. Melanie loves an exclamation point, and I like that about her.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, I'm like that too. People make fun of me.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

I go heavy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Because especially in text, you kind of want to let them know your tone, so I will. I. I go heavy on the exclamation point.

[Greg Warren]

This is what I do. If there's three and there are three sentences, and I did all exclamation points, I go back in the middle one change to a. I do, too.

[Brian Bates]

I do.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, do that too. I was like, nah, this is too exciting. This is unreasonably exciting.

[Nate Bargatze]

And if you sandwich it, they still get the idea. You might. Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It still seems formulaic, but sometimes if.

[Greg Warren]

You go, hey, and then the name exclamation point, it's like. It's like, you know, like a period. Seems like you're being serious.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yes.

[Greg Warren]

Correct the exclamation point. It's like, I'm not really that excited.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, that's almost unreasonably.

[Greg Warren]

We need a. We need a in between exclamation point. Point in period.

[Dusty Slay]

A, comma.

[Nate Bargatze]

Nobody's doing. Can you imagine?

[Dusty Slay]

What?

[Nate Bargatze]

Are you insane? If you like, hey, Greg. Comma. And then in a text.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I think I've done it.

[Nate Bargatze]

I mean, really?

[Greg Warren]

Maybe. If you do. Dot, dot, dot.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. Elliptical ending.

[Dusty Slay]

Ellipses, I believe.

[Sean O'Brien]

Ellipses.

[Nate Bargatze]

Very good.

[Brian Bates]

It's hard to do the explanation point if you're giving bad news. Hey, Greg, you just been fired. Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

You don't need to come in tomorrow.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

We got to tell Melody about the or Melanie, about the middle sentence.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, she did.

[Nate Bargatze]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

She actually has four sentences here.

[Brian Bates]

So it works.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think anything's sincere about what Melanie wrote.

[Greg Warren]

I don't think so either.

[Sean O'Brien]

Do you ever. When you reply to each other like your friends, do you say your buddy's name? Like, I'll never. If Tim sends me a message, I never. It's always got to be hey, but, hey, buddy. Hey, pal. Hey, man. And I'll use that. And I almost feel like I could never. Just because I feel like Hayes too. Just in for, like, almost cold.

[Nate Bargatze]

Like, hey.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I like.

[Sean O'Brien]

So I always do a buddy, man, pal.

[Greg Warren]

I like my guy. I like bro, buddy, man. But if I never do a pow, dude, bro is my dude.

[Nate Bargatze]

If I'm texting you that I text regularly, I'll go, yo, dude. Hey, dude. Hey, man, pal, whatever. But if I'm texting Brian, who I haven't texted in a while, I'll say, hey, Brian, like, full acknowledgement. You know what I mean? More formal.

[Dusty Slay]

And you guys go with chief.

[Sean O'Brien]

If you do achieve, you should do Big guy.

[Nate Bargatze]

I do player. Quite a bit player. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You shouldn't do that. You're not that guy.

[Nate Bargatze]

I am.

[Dusty Slay]

No, you're not.

[Nate Bargatze]

On occasion. No, I'm that guy, I assure you.

[Dusty Slay]

Do you do play a.

[Nate Bargatze]

No, I go, Er.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, good. All right. Got it.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Tim did a set on my show with St. Louis.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Very excited. He said exclamation point.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I thought he meant something to him.

[Nate Bargatze]

But I'll bet our first. I bet our first text exchange is just littered with exclamation points.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I thought you were really excited to do the show.

[Nate Bargatze]

And I was. And it was. And we. I had a great time.

[Dusty Slay]

Excellent. He's like, I got to do this show with Banks.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I'll put exclamation points in.

[Dusty Slay]

Just very excited, player.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, beyond excited.

[Nate Bargatze]

Try player.

[Brian Bates]

Put player, excited. Uh, Jake Stevens. I've started eating dinner with my hands when I'm at home. No utensils. I gotta say, it does make the meal more enjoyable. I think Dusty's onto something with some of his ideas.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, all of my ideas are good if people just embrace them. That's what. I was in a hotel the other day, kitchen in there. I went, walked to the store, bought a steak, cooked it in the hotel, was eating it with utensils, and I'm like, what am I doing? And I just picked it up and started eating the steak. I had, like, some type of side. I don't Remember what it was at this point? But it. It needed a fork and I ate it with my hands.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure.

[Greg Warren]

And it felt good.

[Sean O'Brien]

Oh, I get it.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. It felt. I was like, why am I doing this?

[Dusty Slay]

It was in the hotel.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Let me ask you this. As a napkin, did you use the. The towel from the bathroom?

[Greg Warren]

Oh, I do that every time.

[Nate Bargatze]

Every time.

[Greg Warren]

Every.

[Nate Bargatze]

I do that every.

[Dusty Slay]

I've never said that out loud before, but I do it all the time. I did it this past week.

[Greg Warren]

I've had some towels by the end of the week. Like, oh, they'll never get this clean.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Barbecue last week. And I looked down, I'm like, this. They gotta throw this towel.

[Nate Bargatze]

I'll throw it away for them because I'm too embarrassed. I'd rather them think I stole it than see all that's going on with that towel.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

100%.

[Greg Warren]

It's like a crime scene. A lot of towels. I've ruined some bed sheets. With food. With food.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yes.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Sean eats in bed.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, I do. And not in. Just a hotel. Like, I'll eat my own bed, which is way worse.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

What's your dairy? You're eating in bed.

[Sean O'Brien]

People are like, well, what do you eat in bed? And I'm like, man, if you have to ask, it's not broccoli, I can.

[Greg Warren]

Tell you that much.

[Sean O'Brien]

All right, look at me, I'm clocking in at 274. What could I possibly be eating?

[Dusty Slay]

Nobody's eating. Yeah. Healthy foods. You're so dead on.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. It's quinoa, you know, mixed with romaine lettuce.

[Nate Bargatze]

Working on my portion control.

[Greg Warren]

Lettuce wrap.

[Sean O'Brien]

That would be the healthy. If it was a lettuce wrap, that'd be the best thing I've done so far, man.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Oh, it's so sad, man.

[Greg Warren]

But eating with your hands, it really feels. Especially some meat like that that you gotta tear with your mouth so you're never going back. Well, you know, I got, you know, I got a wife and, you know, so I gotta, like, I can't just do it like that all the time.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

But if I. We do, like, beef with the bone, like a T bone or something. Even at home, by the time I get done, I pick it up, I'm gnawing on the bone. Do you eat fast? Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

I mean, do you just like. I mean, you look and you're like, man, I just ate a 16 ounce strip steak in two and a half minutes. And I wonder why I have stomach problems.

[Greg Warren]

Yes, yes. And then I Actually, me and my wife both eat really fast and we've ate with other couples before, and, like, the food comes and then we look up and they're like, getting started.

[Nate Bargatze]

I've been. I've been at rest restaurants. I eat so fast. I've been with restaurants before that I win the speed eating contest that I didn't even know I was in. Like, three buddies at the table will be like, let's see if we can finish form. Not tell me it's a competition and I still win.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

It's a. It's. It's a really bad.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you spent some time in the joint, so.

[Nate Bargatze]

I did. I did.

[Sean O'Brien]

You had to fight.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

For what was ours. But.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, sorry, go ahead.

[Greg Warren]

I grew up with. I had older stepbrothers, you know, and, like, it felt like everybody would always eat before me and then, like, be mad at me that I'm still eating.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Like, they're like, well, we're just waiting on Dusty. So I'm like, now I just eat like a maniac.

[Brian Bates]

Especially with little kids. You're just like, let's eat, because you got two minutes.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

I guess it's horrible for. According to some doctor of mine, that it's a cause of acid reflux.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Par.

[Nate Bargatze]

Fast.

[Sean O'Brien]

Just like. Yeah, just fasting your food, just not digesting.

[Greg Warren]

You're supposed to chew your food, like, till it becomes liquid.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

When I was in West Point, I spent my first year of college at West Point. And all the meals you had to. You had. You. You could. You could have the. You take a bite like this with your fork. You couldn't chew until you set the fork back down. Then you had to have your hands on your lap, and then you had to chew until there was no more food in your mouth. Mouth to get to dissolve it all. It was like no less than 11 chews or something just to teach discipline.

[Nate Bargatze]

Or was this a healthy thing?

[Dusty Slay]

I would bet it was because it was done to them and it started probably back in the 1800s or something. But yeah, I think now that I think of it, it's probably a very healthy way to eat.

[Greg Warren]

Probably back then it was a digestive thing.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Wow.

[Greg Warren]

But yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

That take you a while to break that when you were out?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I got right back.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty, you want to tell us about Rocket Money?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, sure do. Did Rocket Money find any subscriptions you forgot about or any. Any. You paid twice and didn't realize. Can you name every single subscription you have? I know I can't name all of mine. And I'm not alone. I've learned that over 74% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about. With Rocket Money, I don't have to remember every subscription or worry about forgetting any because I can see them all laid out right in front of me. Rocket Money, a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I can see all my subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it with a tap. I never have to get on the phone with customer service. I love how the dashboard shows me this month's spending compared to last month so I can clearly see my spending habits. Plus, they'll help me create a custom budget and keep my spending on track. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved get ready a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When using all of their apps features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to Rocket Money.com Nate. That is Rocket Money.com Nate. Rocket Money.com Nate.

[Brian Bates]

Nice.

[Dusty Slay]

I gotta do that, man. Yeah, I think I'm gonna do it. I think I got a subscription to Highlights magazine.

[Greg Warren]

It should do it. How was that ad read? I like to start bang up, John. I try to get angry with that.

[Sean O'Brien]

You were locked in passion.

[Dusty Slay]

You hit another gear there.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

It wasn't anger, though. It was passion, passion, passion.

[Greg Warren]

Did you.

[Nate Bargatze]

You didn't want to bail halfway through on that one, did you?

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Greg Warren]

No, I didn't. No. I felt like this could be longer. Yes, that's what I thought.

[Nate Bargatze]

I thought you could give. I thought you could make more of a meal.

[Greg Warren]

Are there more details? Yes.

[Nate Bargatze]

I like how you did several, like, at church, like, lookups, like, you found this and you're like, I'm getting.

[Greg Warren]

I want people to call Rocket Money to cancel that ad rate.

[Nate Bargatze]

That's what I. Business is so good.

[Sean O'Brien]

You're all out.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, no, it's really, really strong.

[Greg Warren]

Thank you, guys.

[Brian Bates]

Ashley Person.

[Greg Warren]

I don't like that last name. Keep it vague.

[Brian Bates]

Could be a man, could be a woman. We know it's a person. I've been grinding on the vegetables aren't real all day after listening to Dusty speak the truth. Truth, I'm converted. But my only hold back is asparagus. Please help explain it to me. So Dusty says vegetables aren't real.

[Nate Bargatze]

What does that Mean?

[Greg Warren]

Well, like, they're. They're like that. They all fit into a different category. Like, peppers are fruit. Tomatoes are fruit. Spinach is leaves. Broccoli is flowers.

[Nate Bargatze]

What's carrot?

[Greg Warren]

Carrots are roots. Ginger's roots. Potatoes are roots.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And so asparagus has got her hung up. I think it fits. I think it fits into the broccoli category. It's a flower. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I asked this last week, but I guess I really don't understand. Like, it's just a sub. Like mammals. What about people? Well, they're humans.

[Dusty Slay]

They're not real either.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

What about chimpanzees? Well, they're apes, but they're all mammals.

[Greg Warren]

Like, humans were mammoth. I felt like we're on. We're our own thing. Yeah, I agree. We don't fit into the animal categories.

[Nate Bargatze]

I always felt like that if you run the numbers. Yeah, that's completely. Completely.

[Brian Bates]

All right, let's take humans out, though.

[Nate Bargatze]

But like, okay, it is interesting because fruit, you can't put. Fruit is only fruit. Yeah, it's kind of your point.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it's like a seed bearing thing, you know, so the peppers have seeds in it like a tomato does. Like an apple, like a peach. I saw this. I saw a video on Tick Tock about this.

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't think you're. I didn't think I was. I thought you were gonna back yourself into a corner, but you pulled that. I was like, how's it gonna explain broccoli? And the flour thing's pretty good. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Cauliflower, a flower. It's right there in the name. Yeah, it is.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

So avocado is a fruit, right?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, it's a. It's a real fruit.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Okay, so it's not a dust.

[Sean O'Brien]

It's a real. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm getting at.

[Greg Warren]

I. I'm thinking asparaguses. I'm gonna go with. You could. Might even say a tree.

[Nate Bargatze]

I was just gonna say that. Yeah, I think that's strong.

[Greg Warren]

I was just. I grew some asparagus for a long time, and then I cut it down and I was like, this doesn't look like any asparagus I ever bought at the store. And I threw it away. I was like, I don't even know what this is.

[Brian Bates]

What is an onion?

[Greg Warren]

I'd say that's a root.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a root vegetable.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Root vegetable.

[Greg Warren]

I'd say just a root.

[Dusty Slay]

You ever go to the grocery store late at night and they cover up the onions and the potatoes?

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Something shady is going on with. If you go to the produce section in the middle of the night, they have a cover over the onions and potatoes.

[Nate Bargatze]

Like a tarp.

[Dusty Slay]

Like a tarp, but a cloth tarp. Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Do you have any idea why?

[Brian Bates]

Maybe they spray water on some of.

[Dusty Slay]

It, but not on what's. Something they don't want you to see is going on.

[Greg Warren]

They say onions have a real way to, like, soak up bad things from the environment around. So, like, if you cut an onion to cook, people say you should never put that onion in the refrigerator. You should just either use the whole onion or throw away the rest. Yep.

[Dusty Slay]

Because it pulls everything.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Because once it opens and you put it in your fridge, it'll start pulling all these negative, like, toxins. Toxins.

[Dusty Slay]

You're a holistic guy. But have you ever heard putting onions and garlic on your feet?

[Greg Warren]

I have heard that. Never done it.

[Dusty Slay]

I did, though.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I got on a kick for. Yeah. Maybe a year.

[Greg Warren]

What did you think? Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Then you got pneumonia, right?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I didn't. I did. I. I'm not sure. A couple of times. I think it helped me.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not sure it did. I can tell you. It's a very inconvenient way to sleep.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And it's. It's. Going to the bathroom is tricky because it hurts. Because you're stepping onions and garlic. They. You saran. Wrap it to your feet.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Socks over it.

[Greg Warren]

Wow. I want to do it. I say that. Somebody told me you can chop up onions and put it around the room, and it'll kind of get rid of stuff. And so when I say it in the condo in Jacksonville. The Jacksonville. I chopped up a bunch of onions.

[Brian Bates]

What happened?

[Greg Warren]

I don't know. It just. It smelled better than it did.

[Dusty Slay]

An onion is no match. You're gonna have to have an onion farm to get rid of what goes on in there. Are you kidding me?

[Brian Bates]

When I was in St. Louis, I stayed at the condo there at the funny Boat Provide. Very nice. They have a full kitchen. And Dusty said, you know, you got a condo with a kitchen, you got to go buy some groceries so you're not eating out every meal. So I went straight to the grocery store and was something with an S. We don't have them here. Schnooks. And they had these carts. The lady in front of me was pushing her cart out. The wheels locked up on her like it somehow senses if you're stealing stuff.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yep.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And locked.

[Dusty Slay]

Sean, is this happening?

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah. I mean, that's so weird. I thought it was just a fluke. So that's how they catch you.

[Greg Warren]

All right.

[Nate Bargatze]

He's got a guy. Who break that? I think it's just. I don't think it's about. If you have product in there. I think it's just a. Like, almost like a dog collar. When it goes to a certain place outside the store, outside the premises, it stops. So maybe that malfunctioned.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe. Employee had to come over. It's not like they accused the woman of stealing, but they just reset something and she just kept going.

[Dusty Slay]

I wish that happened to me in the store. I'd make a scene. I'm not going down for this. I didn't do nothing. I want a lawyer. I want my lawyer.

[Greg Warren]

You're like, I'm stalking. If anything. I'm putting this back.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Are you guys pretty honorable at the self checkout, you know, five apples, you're hitting.

[Greg Warren]

What do you make sure?

[Sean O'Brien]

I'm just making sure that I'm not.

[Dusty Slay]

The fact that you're asking that.

[Sean O'Brien]

No, dude, I am not. I am not. I'm not.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, if anything.

[Sean O'Brien]

No, I'm. I'm actually the roundup guy, man.

[Nate Bargatze]

One for me.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

What are you talking about? The fact that you asked that question makes me very suspicious.

[Brian Bates]

Round up.

[Sean O'Brien]

I've just heard people. I've just heard people.

[Nate Bargatze]

You've already. You got friends?

[Sean O'Brien]

I got friends, yeah. They're like, if it's. They're just angry people. They're like, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, there's podcast out there where people would have said, yeah, they would have said, no, we're not reasonable.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

There's one guy I know I would.

[Greg Warren]

He.

[Sean O'Brien]

I don't want to name, but he basically, he'll. He'll get six apples and hit four. And he's very proud.

[Nate Bargatze]

I love that.

[Sean O'Brien]

He's just something like oranges want something like that. And so I guess, you know, you're. You're beating the system there.

[Nate Bargatze]

Not here, Sean. But not here.

[Sean O'Brien]

Honor system. Yeah, I get it.

[Nate Bargatze]

Integrity.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Nick Greenfield. Another good last name. I live in Southern Illinois, about 10 minutes across the river from St. Louis. I always tell people from not around here that I live in St. Louis because no one has ever heard of Millstat, Illinois.

[Nate Bargatze]

Millstot.

[Dusty Slay]

We have. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Where I live, it's still considered St. Louis metro area, even though it is in Illinois. Last week, I talked about doing a show in Dayton, Kentucky, at the Sanctuary. Yeah. Yeah. Which is basically Cincinnati. And Dusty was raising the question. Well, I don't know, like, you say.

[Greg Warren]

Just across the state line. Right. It's like I live in Hermitage, but I. You know, I still say Nashville because I'm still in Davidson County. Right. But it's like you're in a whole other state.

[Dusty Slay]

We do. We have that in St. Louis. What he's talking about, where we're from. I mean, I want to take a slight detour and tell you here that if you want to have fun on a weekend in the fall, I do. Millstott, Illinois, is the most fun you could have, especially if you got kids. They have, like, one of those. They have apple orchards out there. You have their apple picking, but they have every kind. They have animals. They have games.

[Greg Warren]

They have.

[Dusty Slay]

I took my niece out there. It's the greatest time. They. It's. So they have a corn maze. They. It's Millstadt, Illinois, after it. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You'd say this last name's fitting for where he lives.

[Dusty Slay]

Greenfield.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. There's quite a few of those around there.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

A lot of corn sweat going on.

[Dusty Slay]

Corn sweat.

[Brian Bates]

Have you heard of corn sweat? You know, we talk about corn sweat. Three people that weekend told me about corn sweat.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I talked about corn sweat.

[Brian Bates]

We talked about it on your radio show.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

My feature act, Will O'Donnell, told me all about corn sweat, and then somebody else told me about it.

[Greg Warren]

I've worked with Will many times. He's never.

[Dusty Slay]

Never brought it up.

[Brian Bates]

I think it had just come out in the news that week about being a thing.

[Nate Bargatze]

I think that's what everybody was talking about.

[Brian Bates]

I guess corn releases a lot of moisture in the air, and therefore the humidity in St. Louis is worse.

[Nate Bargatze]

That's.

[Brian Bates]

That's exactly not St. Louis, but the whole Midwest area because of corn.

[Nate Bargatze]

A lot of humidity comes from corn. Corn is really putting out that moisture.

[Greg Warren]

I think that's pesticides.

[Nate Bargatze]

You would know.

[Dusty Slay]

They told you this.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

I think on the. On the. Where you from? I think the further you are from that place, the more reasonable it is to attach yourself to that bigger city.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Nate Bargatze]

So if you're on a coast, I think it's totally fine for that guy to say St. Louis.

[Brian Bates]

That's what I said last week.

[Nate Bargatze]

Not that far. Then you're. You're. You know, people are going to be like, oh, it doesn't count as St. Louis. In the same way that if you're overseas, you might just be like, I'm from Missouri or the United States. You go abroad. That's my. That's my policy.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Now, if I lived in Millstadt I would say millstadt every time. Greatest weekend of your life in October.

[Brian Bates]

But I bet in St. Louis you tell people what part of St. Louis you live in.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, Kirkwood. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. When you're.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You ever feel the need to. I'm sure this is just me, but if I. Like, I remember going to a football game in Knoxville University, Tennessee, and I saw someone there that I did not know, but they had my hometown of Lebanon, like a sweatshirt on or something, and I wanted to go up and say something to him just because, you know what? Then I was in California and someone had a University of Tennessee shirt on. Same thing. They could have been anywhere. But I just want to say, hey, whatever. I was in Japan and I just saw a white person and I just assumed they were American. And I wouldn't go and say, hey. My point is, the further you go, just the more generally you want to say something to someone to see if we have a connection.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Are you with me, Tim, this?

[Nate Bargatze]

I'm 100 with you.

[Dusty Slay]

If you're ever on Jupiter.

[Brian Bates]

An earthling life.

[Nate Bargatze]

Just a life form, you and me, buddy. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

It could even be an animal you're familiar with at that point.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

A narwhal.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, I would do that. I would. I would. When I lived outside a home, if I'd see a Cardinal's hat somewhere, I'd get excited. And then when I moved back to St. Louis, I was still like doing the thing. I'd be like, hey. And they'd be like, just everybody.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

What Cardinals?

[Brian Bates]

I remember in New York City, I went to a sports bar to watch the Titans play and everybody in there, you know, had Titans. And one guy even had a Nashville Sounds, the minor league baseball team. And I went up to him like, hey, ever. He could care less. They don't care.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you gotta go to. The one cool thing about living in New York City is there's several cool things. But the only cool thing, only one. Tim and I both lived in New York City at different times, but there was a St. Louis Cardinal bar and we would go to the playoffs or go to Cardinal games there. And you do feel like you're in St. Louis. Everybody there is, like, very friendly. And, you know, you're high fiving each other and hugging each other and it's.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, Foley's, they're serving. They're serving St. Louis food. Yeah, that is. And those little pockets in New York for all the different.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. There's a Steeler bar Chicago, little St.

[Greg Warren]

Louis, as they call it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they do.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah. Chicago, to some degree, kind of has that.

[Dusty Slay]

They do. They have.

[Nate Bargatze]

All the big colleges have their own bars. Pretty cool.

[Brian Bates]

Tyler. Bunch of numbers.

[Dusty Slay]

That's.

[Brian Bates]

That's made up. Love, Greg, but that's made up to Love Greg, but what?

[Dusty Slay]

Would you know how many times I've heard that in my life? Love, Greg, but.

[Nate Bargatze]

It'S usually.

[Dusty Slay]

Are we back in high school?

[Brian Bates]

I love you, Greg, as a brother.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, we're not going to the prom.

[Brian Bates]

Love, Greg, but what would rocket him to global hero status is getting his old Jif buddies to sell Jif in tubs like butter tubs. Too often I pass up making PB and Js because I don't want it all over the knife, kitchen.

[Nate Bargatze]

And me, I don't know what the tub solves.

[Dusty Slay]

The tub doesn't solve the knife problem.

[Brian Bates]

You know what they do have, which is great for when you have a small child? They have little packets, little tubes where you just squeeze it out.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Like go gurt or something.

[Greg Warren]

Or just work it out.

[Dusty Slay]

Care for that?

[Greg Warren]

Just work it out.

[Brian Bates]

I'm giving Jeff a compliment.

[Greg Warren]

You know, a bunch of numbers I don't like.

[Dusty Slay]

I like a traditional jar. When they pull that seal, you still.

[Nate Bargatze]

Use the glass too, don't you? Isn't it?

[Greg Warren]

Oh. He's like, I just can't do it. His kids are like, can you make me a PB and J? He's like, I don't want pb. I don't want it all over the knife in the kitchen. I guess I'll make lasagna now.

[Sean O'Brien]

He's probably eating with his hands right there. A guy like that. That guy is definitely not using a fork. If he's angry about a knife, the.

[Greg Warren]

Knife for cutting his wrist.

[Dusty Slay]

I'll say this on this podcast, and I want to make a commitment. If you've got some good GIF ideas, like, good idea. I don't. No offense to a bunch of numbers, but if you've got some good GIF ideas, I'll take it back. I'll take it to Brazzy. Brazzy. Brazi's number two guy at Smuckers, which owns Jiff. I'll take it. I'll take it.

[Brian Bates]

And you know him?

[Dusty Slay]

We went to college together. He got me the job at Proctor and helped me get the job at Procter and Gamble.

[Nate Bargatze]

I mean, the guy that you got in with at the beginning is now essentially.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, he was in Procter and Gamble. Now they. And then he. He went over when. When Smuckers recruited him.

[Nate Bargatze]

Got it.

[Dusty Slay]

And he is. He basically runs the whole thing.

[Greg Warren]

We're talking peanut butter royalty.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, the guy, he reports the only.

[Nate Bargatze]

He's the.

[Dusty Slay]

He's the top guy in the company that doesn't have the last name Smuckers. Okay. And Brazzy Brazi is going to be there in Columbus when I record my special. He's committed to it because he loves.

[Nate Bargatze]

He loves avant garde.

[Greg Warren]

Him and Mr. Peanut are coming.

[Sean O'Brien]

I just like how Greg said that name as if, like, that was LeBron James. I'll call Brazzy. Guys, you know, everyone knows CPU.

[Dusty Slay]

Sean, except for he didn't just come out of high school and do this. He had to do it through sweat. Hard work.

[Greg Warren]

Not Brazzy. I'm.

[Sean O'Brien]

I'm a fan of Brazil Brazzi.

[Brian Bates]

First name or last name?

[Dusty Slay]

Last name? John Brazi.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

He's kind of like a Madonna or a Cher.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, he is. He is.

[Sean O'Brien]

That's what I thought he was doing.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Brazi's got sorted to the cher, Madonna level.

[Nate Bargatze]

One name.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, I know.

[Brian Bates]

Sean, you ever made a PB&J in bed?

[Sean O'Brien]

Ah, boy, that's a great. I will eat it. I will eat the peanut butter in bed with a butter knife and use the butter knife as the fork, and that is rough, you know, I mean, when you. If there was. If I could watch myself doing that.

[Nate Bargatze]

And then you just. You toss it. Just a nightstand.

[Sean O'Brien]

Don't panic. I got. I got the little. Little paper plate that's for all my, you know, for the other stuff I'm eating. And then. So I'll have wrappers and whatever, and I'll use the fork or. I'm sorry, the butter knife, and I'll place it on the wrappers and then take care of business in the morning.

[Nate Bargatze]

Got assistant sick.

[Greg Warren]

Sick world. I know.

[Sean O'Brien]

Sick, man.

[Brian Bates]

Anybody watch any NFL football yesterday?

[Greg Warren]

A little bit. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

A little.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yesterday.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

It wasn't good, buddy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Riding in the car with the Saints fan while they were having the trials and tribulations of that game.

[Brian Bates]

Who'd they play?

[Greg Warren]

They played the Falcons. Falcons won.

[Brian Bates]

Well, let me tell you about DraftKings. You don't draft kings, Greg. You're going to want to watch every game. I didn't just bring up football.

[Dusty Slay]

So Smooth.

[Nate Bargatze]

We could have helped you out there.

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't know where he's going. That sucked me right in.

[Brian Bates]

You can bet on who's going to score the first touchdown. And in the Buffalo game, Derrick Henry scored on the first play from scrimmage for the for the Ravens last night. 87 yard touchdown. You'd won money right there on DraftKings. Don't. Doesn't matter how they score, just that they score. So if you want to bet on touchdowns, that's the way to go. DraftKings delivers. It's the official sportsbook partner of the NFL. Ready to place your first NFL bet? Try betting on something simple like picking a player to score a Touchdown. Go to DraftKings Sportsbook app and make your pick. Titans play tonight on Monday Night Football. Two and a half point favorites on the road at Miami. Hope they get off the schneid. No one cares. Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm just. I'm just. Yeah, just taking it in.

[Brian Bates]

You guys from St. Louis. So you don't. Don't know NFL football?

[Nate Bargatze]

We have a little bit.

[Dusty Slay]

What a jerk.

[Brian Bates]

Now you guys beat us in the super bowl, so. Still a little upset about it.

[Nate Bargatze]

I remember a lot of good it did us.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Ready to do a touchdown dance of your own. New Draft King. Customers bet $5 to get 200 in bonus bets. Instantly score big with DraftKings Sportsbook, the number one place to bet touchdowns. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use Code Nateland. That's Code Nateland for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets. When you bet just five only on DraftKings. The crown is yours.

[Dusty Slay]

Gambling problem, call 1-800- gambler in New.

[Sean O'Brien]

York, call 877-8-HOPENY or text hopeny 467-369.

[Dusty Slay]

In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas.

[Sean O'Brien]

21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction.

[Dusty Slay]

Void.

[Sean O'Brien]

In New Hampshire, Oregon and Ontario, bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG Co FTball NFL plus premium.

[Dusty Slay]

Offer available only to new and former NFL subscribers.

[Sean O'Brien]

Additional NFL plus premium [e-mail] terms.

[Brian Bates]

How was that? I mean, it's no dusty, but really good.

[Greg Warren]

That was really good.

[Dusty Slay]

It was good.

[Brian Bates]

It's good.

[Dusty Slay]

DraftKings delivers and so does Bates.

[Brian Bates]

All right. Thank you. Yeah, thank you.

[Nate Bargatze]

That's a sure bet. Brian Bates.

[Greg Warren]

Bet on bets.

[Dusty Slay]

Come on, man. This isn't the Christie Show.

[Brian Bates]

Someday I'll get on the Christie Show.

[Dusty Slay]

You can't get on the Christie Show.

[Brian Bates]

No, nobody can. Drew Robinson. I played football at Opelika High School, then Troy University.

[Greg Warren]

All right. Go Dogs.

[Brian Bates]

That's where Bestie's from oh to Opelika.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I wanted to use my football knowledge, so I volunteered to help coach the middle school. I also worked at Jim Bob's Chicken Fingers.

[Greg Warren]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Brian Bates]

As the kitchen manager. After a few practices, the head coach said I smelled like what a chicken looks like. So he felt like I didn't have enough time to coach because I was coming from practice to work or from work to practice. I think. Let's say I got fired from volunteering due to Jim Bob's smell.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

Is that.

[Greg Warren]

It's just.

[Dusty Slay]

Is chicken fingers just a big thing in Alabama?

[Greg Warren]

We. In. In. In Opelika, Auburn area, we have a lot of chicken finger restaurants.

[Dusty Slay]

A ton.

[Greg Warren]

Right. We have a lot. I mean, there's, like. There's Guthrie's Tender Chick. Jim Bob's. There was, you know, this Chick Fil A. There's Niffers. There's so many. There's Breezeway.

[Dusty Slay]

What's the big chain raging?

[Nate Bargatze]

Raising canes.

[Dusty Slay]

Raising.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, we have a cane.

[Dusty Slay]

Guthrie's come before Keynes.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Greg Warren]

Well, I don't. I don't know where Keynes was at in other places, but Guthrie's is a real mainstay of the area, and Keynes is. Would have just come in in the last couple of years to our area. Area.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, okay.

[Greg Warren]

Now. Now, maybe I don't know where Keynes is from. Where is it? It's from Louisiana.

[Dusty Slay]

It might be. I just remember the first time I worked Birmingham. Long time ago. They were. They were, you know, telling me about all the.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I think it's from New Orleans.

[Greg Warren]

There was no raising canes down in OPEC Auburn area. Now, there may be.

[Sean O'Brien]

Now, now, Dusty, you're just talking chicken fingers exclusively. You're talking everything in the chicken world. Chicken wings.

[Greg Warren]

These are all chicken finger restaurants. But, you know, they got some.

[Sean O'Brien]

They'll mix it up a little bit.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, they got some other. But they're. They're pushing the chicken fingers.

[Sean O'Brien]

That's.

[Greg Warren]

That's what you're coming in for is chicken fingers.

[Nate Bargatze]

I would think that's a pleasant smell.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I. I love it. But this.

[Nate Bargatze]

Maybe he was.

[Greg Warren]

I know Drew. I think I. Yeah, I know Drew and.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, you do know.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. And we didn't go to school together. We've met, you know, later.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

But he. Yeah. I mean, that's a shame. You know, I never was trying to coach football, so when I worked at Jim Bob's, the smell never affected my personal life.

[Nate Bargatze]

You know, that guy, he got fired.

[Sean O'Brien]

From volunteering he just needed to cut an onion. Man, that would have.

[Greg Warren]

Probably. That's the move. Or bring some Jim Bob's to football practice.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's probably.

[Greg Warren]

That's probably the same. If somebody smells like a food that you don't like, if you give them some of that and they eat it now, they don't even smell it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, right.

[Nate Bargatze]

That was the move.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Yeah. Drew, you messed up.

[Brian Bates]

Let's do one more, then we'll get into the topic. Gabe. What? I'm a third shift Columbus police officer and I'd be thrilled to offer Greg or any of the Nateland crew to come do a ride along with me while they're in town. Work 11pm to 7am but you don't have to do the entire shift. You don't want to. Just come. Here he comes now. Yeah, just coming to roll call and a few calls would be a great experience for any of you. What do you think, Greg?

[Dusty Slay]

Man, I'd. I would really like to do that. That is a tricky weekend because of the special. A lot going on, so I don't.

[Greg Warren]

Know a lot of these. I had a similar offer and I'm like, I don't. You know, I appreciate it, but I'm not into riding around in the police car.

[Nate Bargatze]

You've done it night too.

[Brian Bates]

You've done it plenty in your life.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, well, I done it enough to know that I don't. I don't really want to be doing it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't mind going to the roll call thing, but it just may be. I really appreciate the offer. This may be a tricky weekend now.

[Sean O'Brien]

I'm in. I'm in. I'll skip the special. And I count me in for everything. I mean, heck, people already think I steal from grocery stores, so I need to get a little juicy.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a really weird question.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that you say that people think, and then you go, hey, guys, you'd be stealing from there that people.

[Sean O'Brien]

Of this country steal from.

[Greg Warren]

I'd like to at least read the next comment, at least the first part.

[Brian Bates]

All right, go ahead.

[Greg Warren]

It says, this is from Cameron and Mandy Scott. My wife and I had a chance to see Dusty and Indy. Haven't laughed that hard in ages. It was a hot show. We can do the rest of it. But that's really what I wanted.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what you're trying to get out?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. He had a joke in reference to shopping cart, but called it a buggy. Just curious. Is that a Southern thing? Yeah, it is.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a great one.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I like to. Yeah. I call it a buggy. I don't know. St. Louis is on the. On the line if you guys are, like, really Southern. Right.

[Dusty Slay]

We were both sides on the war.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. So, you know, you. Yeah. So you're.

[Dusty Slay]

There's no buggy.

[Greg Warren]

You don't call it buggy, though.

[Dusty Slay]

But I heard it before. I think first person I heard call it a buggy was comedian Rodney Carrington.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Well, why would you want to call it a shopping cart when you could just call it a buggy?

[Dusty Slay]

I love it.

[Nate Bargatze]

Buggy.

[Dusty Slay]

Buggy's great.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Why do you. Why did you not want to read that kind comment and said all those nice things about Dusty?

[Brian Bates]

I just didn't feel like we had time.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Nate Bargatze]

I'm glad. I'm glad we fit it in.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty gets enough good press as it is.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Well.

[Brian Bates]

All right. So today, guys, we all live comment.

[Greg Warren]

To comment out here.

[Brian Bates]

We bet.

[Nate Bargatze]

Really?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I think we all do, right?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You're only as good as your last comment.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

They'll cut you hard.

[Nate Bargatze]

I can't wait to see these. I'm already.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Today they're gonna say. They're gonna say, get rid of Tim Convict from the podcast. And they're gonna say he's not on the podcast and be like, hire him and then get him off the podcast. Yeah, that's what we're gonna say.

[Brian Bates]

You guys take a topic each, a brand or business each week, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Brand.

[Brian Bates]

The first one was Dunkin.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So we thought we would, you know, fall in footsteps. And today we're talking about Whole Foods.

[Dusty Slay]

Love it.

[Brian Bates]

Now, Whole Foods is very interesting to.

[Greg Warren]

Me because we are talking about the grocery store, not just Whole Foods in general.

[Brian Bates]

Whatever you want to talk about.

[Dusty Slay]

It's about the brand. Whole Foods Markets.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Whole Foods is a very interesting story to me because you've got all your workout freak, health, uppity top people.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And then you got the Dusties of the world that, you know, survivalists that just want to, you know, get some off the grid kind of food.

[Greg Warren]

Well, I'm not entirely convinced that Whole Foods is serving us up the best of the best, but I do feel like in the grocery store world, that's your best option.

[Dusty Slay]

This is one of my favorite quotes. It was from the Texas Monthly, which Whole Foods started down in Austin.

[Nate Bargatze]

I read it every week.

[Dusty Slay]

It says, an honorable truce between two old enemies, health food stores and supermarkets. That's what Whole Foods was.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I like it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, back in the day, man, it was like they didn't. You know, it's like, oh, well, that's poison that they have there.

[Brian Bates]

We.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, and then they were in, like, their little tiny places with the seeds and the oils and weirdos and. Yeah, John Mackey.

[Greg Warren]

I like that. You said Texas Monthly. You said. I read it weekly.

[Sean O'Brien]

Weekly.

[Nate Bargatze]

Thank you.

[Greg Warren]

Like, it just takes a while.

[Nate Bargatze]

You're gonna get a lot of that on the podcast. I say something funny, and Greg just keeps on going.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, and on that one, man, I missed it. And it was very funny. But I gotta tell you, usually it's just not worth stopping for.

[Nate Bargatze]

How would you know? You miss them all. Yeah, well, yeah, read the comments afterwards. You're gonna see.

[Dusty Slay]

You lull me. You lull me to sleep with all the dumb ones. When you say something good, I just don't get it.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah. You know, that's on me completely then.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Man, you really taking on the Nate role really quick.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Like.

[Brian Bates]

Like Nate talking to me right now.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, there's a little back and forth on this podcast. Yeah, yeah, a little. There is.

[Sean O'Brien]

There is a little bit.

[Brian Bates]

So it's not exactly the same.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, not exactly.

[Nate Bargatze]

There's a little back and forth on the podcast and a lot of back and forth right after the podcast.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, it got a little weird after the third episode after Greg choke slammed me.

[Brian Bates]

But other than that.

[Dusty Slay]

Talk about, like, violence.

[Brian Bates]

I've never was a Bill Mafia. He probably liked it.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, you caught it there.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

I mean, going through tables. I'll do it. If we went Super Bowl. No. Greg gets a little. I can just get under his skin a little more than the average person. I'm not proud of it, but I do. I also don't want to get him upset. I mean, this guy was an all American wrestler, and he could.

[Dusty Slay]

I would never do that.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yes. But I could.

[Dusty Slay]

I could get also, you know, 56.

[Nate Bargatze]

If he decided that he wanted you to assault him, he could. He could crack the code.

[Dusty Slay]

You think he could make me hit him?

[Nate Bargatze]

I absolutely think so.

[Greg Warren]

Or.

[Nate Bargatze]

Or no. Just a single leg takedown. I don't think you would strike him. I think you would. You'd wrestle.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. I say we do it right here.

[Nate Bargatze]

I don't think this is the spot.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, this table looks like, if you want to.

[Greg Warren]

Horrible. Yeah. If you go through this, that hurts.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but you know how, like, in wrestling with the announcers and they'll slam them through, and you're like, that table was. Must have Barely been set up.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it's a press board. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, this table looks like.

[Dusty Slay]

Table is.

[Greg Warren]

This is going to hurt. This is.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we've got a nice set. We're proud of our set on the. Yeah, we got a lot of product on our.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

We got. We got about 84 jars of Jif and 100 cans of Pringles, and we got some ketchup and mustard and Coke and Diet Coke.

[Nate Bargatze]

You got to eat before you do the podcast because you're just staring at food.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, we got a lot of that.

[Greg Warren]

People were pretty irritated. The last one you were here, and we had Pringles, and we were all eating them during the podcast. There was several people pretty irritated. They were mad about that, about the chip crunching going on.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, I can see that.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I'm trying to think if we've done well. We did eat some Dunkin Donuts.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, we eat. We definitely.

[Greg Warren]

The donuts are not going to be as bad as the true.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, very.

[Greg Warren]

That's.

[Dusty Slay]

We're going to do a Pringles episode.

[Greg Warren]

But I. I love the store, Whole Foods. I'm a big fan of it. Yeah, I love that store.

[Brian Bates]

Well, you.

[Greg Warren]

It feels good.

[Brian Bates]

I just say, like, five minutes ago that.

[Greg Warren]

No, I'm saying I just. You know, you can't. You can't trust anything now that it's like, what are you saying?

[Sean O'Brien]

If you had to pick one that's the best out of it.

[Greg Warren]

It's just. It feels good in there. I used to feel like when I first started going to Whole Foods, I felt like everybody was judging me in there, but I'm over. I'm over that now. And it's not that I just used to think that, but now I'm like, I'm. I go and I get a. I go buy a bunch of healthy stuff, and then before I leave, I get a couple of slices of pizza, and then I'm out of there.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

That's a ghost of the Whole Foods pizza.

[Dusty Slay]

I use it as a restaurant on the road.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Use it as a restaurant.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You mind if I talk a little bit about the history? We do that sometimes on the podcast.

[Brian Bates]

I do mind, actually.

[Dusty Slay]

Me and you together, maybe, I guess. Sure. Now, go ahead.

[Greg Warren]

I'd love to know a little bit.

[Brian Bates]

About my thing, but whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

No, go ahead, man.

[Brian Bates]

No, no, no.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't want to step on.

[Brian Bates]

No, it's here about. I'm going to chime in.

[Greg Warren]

This is a special episode where we've come together.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You know I used to love crossover episodes as a kid. Bionic Woman and 60 Million Dollar man.

[Dusty Slay]

When they got together.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Way back.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

What are you talking about?

[Greg Warren]

Bionic Woman?

[Brian Bates]

That's why I was looking at Greg.

[Dusty Slay]

That's me on this podcast.

[Greg Warren]

Turn for a minute.

[Dusty Slay]

He's not the old guy when I'm here.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I mean, the Fantasy island and Love Boat again, that's.

[Greg Warren]

Did they do crossovers Nick at Night or.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Lonnie Anderson was on that, I believe. No kidding.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it was reruns on Nick at Night when I was a kid and it was old. Like, even the Nick at Night reruns are old now.

[Dusty Slay]

We don't need to look at the nickname.

[Greg Warren]

All right, you're right, you're right, you're right. Let's hear about the history.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, let's hear about it.

[Dusty Slay]

John Mackey is the central figure in this history. John, as a kid, ate Cocoa Puffs, hamburger, boxed Mac and cheese, dropped out of college, and he got in with some vegetarians. He started hanging out with vegetarians down in Austin. And he wasn't a vegetarian. He just liked the sort of counter culture world that vegetarians back then, it was probably early 70s, it wasn't as prevalent as it is today.

[Greg Warren]

They were punk rock back then.

[Dusty Slay]

They were. They were. Exactly. And yeah, it was cool and hip. And then he started being a vegetarian and he thought this was the way to go. And he asked his girlfriend if she would start a health food restaurant with her and they opened it together. It was called Safer Way. Now, Safer Way is like a spoof on Safeway.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Is basically, you know, making fun of.

[Nate Bargatze]

They're sticking it to Safe.

[Dusty Slay]

They're sticking it to the Safeway, which.

[Brian Bates]

Was the big change, which is Albertsons Now, I believe. Right.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know if Safeway and Albertson.

[Greg Warren]

I think there's still some Safeways.

[Dusty Slay]

I think. No, Safeways are still there.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I thought they came out. I don't think Albertsons and Safeway are the same.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Albertsons in I Can't Remember who they Bought.

[Nate Bargatze]

Nateland is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Hey, comedy fans, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Katsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Chang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.

[Dusty Slay]

So they opened this safer way and they lived in this apartment and they were keeping too much of their health food stuff in the apartment. And their landlord was like, you guys can't be doing this. And he kicked him out of their apartment. So they moved into the grocery store. Him and his girlfriend moved into the grocery store. And the grocery store.

[Greg Warren]

I like this girlfriend. She seems to be down with whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

She's great.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Renee Lawson Hardy. She. She was. She. Unfortunately, she didn't make it through the whole thing, but I think she. I think she got paid.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, but are there showers in a bathroom at a grocery store?

[Dusty Slay]

Here's the thing, man. There were no showers. There were no showers in their health food store. So they used the dishwasher to bathe.

[Sean O'Brien]

You know it, man. I mean, look, they had some cascade. Put it on hot and there you go.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's how they took bath. Now listen, Jack Black.

[Greg Warren]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

This is 1970s Austin, Texas, hippies. They probably weren't showering that much anyway.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

It probably wasn't a thing. So they got into it and they, they eventually merged with Clarksville Natural Grocery. And they, they did the first whole food store and they had to make some concessions because he was a vegetarian. And they were like, hey, if we go make this big new whole food store, we're going to have to have meat. The other guy said that and he was like, all right, I'll do it. And it, man, that thing took off in Austin, Texas, that first one. Back in the day, hippies drove a lot of the. What are the Volkswagen bugs?

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah, the Beatles.

[Nate Bargatze]

The Beatles, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And they said that people thought that. That it was a VW Beetle dealership because there were so many of them in the parking lot because that's what all the hippies and they, they had a flood early on, 1981, they had a flood and it wiped out the whole store. Everything. Everything went down. And they were like. He's like. Mackie was like, I don't. I Don't have the kind. Money. It's $400,000 to reopen this. And the community loved Whole Foods so much that they all showed up for, like, three months and rebuilt the store.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

And that's. And that's 28 days. 28 days.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

28 days.

[Nate Bargatze]

You love it a lot. If Whole Foods went down to a flood now, would you get over there.

[Greg Warren]

And be well, now Jeff Bezos owns it.

[Dusty Slay]

What would you do?

[Greg Warren]

You could do it.

[Brian Bates]

What business would you go work for free Zany's.

[Dusty Slay]

We all probably would.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, for sure.

[Dusty Slay]

For sure. Well, I would. I would show up, and I'd be there the whole time, but I probably wouldn't do a lot.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, like, encouraging.

[Dusty Slay]

Make it look like I got. I got this stuff over here, you guys.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I must have really loved it, because.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they did. They did. And, you know, they built it on. They. They said, this is a company that's dedicated to organic foods that are free from artificial preservatives, flavors, colors, and hydrogenated oils. That was sort of their big thing. I've heard some pretty cool quotes. I told you one of them. They said, visit by visit, you get a master's degree in food.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

I thought that was kind of a cool one. This was from Mackey, which I think is a little much.

[Sean O'Brien]

He's getting a little cocky.

[Dusty Slay]

Little retailers with a mission where missionaries who retail.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Taking yourself a little too serious.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, Take it easy. Pull it back a little bit.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Come right.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Especially, like, what if you're a real missionary and you like, yeah, buddy, I'm in a hut in Timbuktu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I. I just ate potatoes for seven days straight. And you're. You're not a missionary.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. It's like, you can just say, hey, we just have a grocery store, and we're trying different. Provide better food for people. You don't. You don't have to go to be in the.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yes. You know, people who are saving souls.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

You're trying to cut back on.

[Greg Warren]

You're just like, yeah, I just want you to eat some food without poison in it.

[Dusty Slay]

They built into the business they are today, which I think is like 500 stores, primarily by acquisition. Earlier, they just bought up a lot of health food store chains. One that they got was this place called Wild Oats, And I do remember some Wild Oats stories. This was sort of early 2000s, and the FTC stopped in and said, you can't do this, partially because Mackie, who is a pretty cool Guy, but he does like everybody else, you know, you have both sides. He was on message boards on Yahoo Finance, basically with like a fake name saying stuff like, the end is underway for wild oats, like Whole Foods. He was basically.

[Sean O'Brien]

He was the original troll, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, he was trying to. But he was trying to take. Him Trolls just do it to make people.

[Greg Warren]

Classic missionary moves.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Sounds like something Mother Teresa would be doing.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mother Teresa.

[Brian Bates]

Just trolling.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Just saying these lepers are not for real. But he does do some cool stuff. I thought one of the. The most interesting things he's done at Whole Foods when he owned it was he had open salaries.

[Brian Bates]

What's that mean?

[Nate Bargatze]

Everybody.

[Dusty Slay]

Everybody knows. If you want to know what everybody's making. Oh, you can just ask.

[Nate Bargatze]

You look it up.

[Dusty Slay]

Look it up.

[Nate Bargatze]

You can ask.

[Brian Bates]

Don't mean they'll tell you.

[Dusty Slay]

No, they tell you.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, it's published.

[Nate Bargatze]

Whole Foods tells you.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Whole Foods. He will. They'll tell you. Like, he. And. And he said basically once everybody be like, hey, how come Tim's making 19 an hour and I'm making 17 an hour? And he'd be like, because Tim's better at this than you. And if you want to get as good as Tim, here's what you need to do. That was his thing.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Nate Bargatze]

It's also because you go. The stores you go to, you can look it up, too. So I look up before I go in there, and then I'm like, hey, man, you're. You're making about 18 an hour. Could you help me find some? Like, I'll identify, motivate them a little bit, too.

[Greg Warren]

But they are, like, usually really helpful there. The attitude feels good and all good. Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Like, you're all doing something positive and it's. You get a little bit of. A little bit of that hippie vibe is still in there when you get to that. For sure.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Another cool thing they used to do, sort of before Amazon, but one of the cool things that they did over a long time, they would find, like, a local little brand. There's one called Nadamu. Tim, you're a vegetarian. So you.

[Nate Bargatze]

It's like a vegan. Vegan ice cream.

[Dusty Slay]

They found. They would just find it. It's good in, like, a little local place. And he'd go, hey, I'm going to put you in Whole Foods. We're going to make you a super star. It was. It was almost like the music business. And like, he made that company. Now since Amazon bought them, less of that goes on Some good stuff goes on with Amazon, but there's some bad stuff. Like there was a cheese company, I think it was called Atlanta Fresh down in Georgia. And back when John owned it, he was like, hey, listen, man, we want you guys to be big. You're going to be the cheese and build this new facility. So they built this, you multimillion dollar facility, and they, they were supplying Whole Foods. And then Amazon at some point was like, you're out. Which not now that they went belly up. So. But yeah, they would make, like, superstars out of little, little, little businesses.

[Nate Bargatze]

And you always see those in Whole Foods. You see, like, there's the little shelf with something you've never heard of. That's. That's great. And it's one of those that they just picked.

[Brian Bates]

I remember one time I had really bad acid reflux, probably because I was eating too fast.

[Nate Bargatze]

Too fast.

[Brian Bates]

And Dusty and I were doing a show at Stand Up Live in Huntsville. And the whole way down, I was like, man, master reflexes kill me. And Dusty took me to Whole Foods and got some stuff that.

[Greg Warren]

Digestive enzymes.

[Brian Bates]

Some digestive enzymes.

[Dusty Slay]

Digestive enzyme.

[Greg Warren]

Papaya. Digestive enzymes. Just chewables.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, dude, I. I live my life on digestive enzymes.

[Sean O'Brien]

You talk about probiotics? Is that what you're saying?

[Dusty Slay]

Dr. Olivia has given you some of them.

[Sean O'Brien]

I know there's like. There's so many. That whole world.

[Greg Warren]

How was it?

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I don't remember it. I still have acid reflux, but it's been a while since.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it's not. It's not going to cure it, but if you got. It's like taking Tums, but it's not.

[Brian Bates]

And when. When his son was born, we took food over to their house and we went to Whole Foods because we knew that they like healthy food. And it was delicious. Right?

[Greg Warren]

So good.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And we really appreciate that.

[Dusty Slay]

That's good.

[Brian Bates]

Sorry, go ahead.

[Dusty Slay]

No, buddy. Am I doing all right on this?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, you're doing great.

[Greg Warren]

Also now with food delivery, if I'm at a hotel for a couple of days now, what I do. I know what hotel I'm going to. I'll just get on my phone, I'll order a few groceries from Whole Foods. And then when I. By the time I get to my hotel, it's already there. Take it up to the room.

[Dusty Slay]

That's genius. On the road, you do this.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Start doing this.

[Greg Warren]

And then it's like, you know, if I. If I don't eat it, I just take it home with me. And then we end up eating it. But I spend a way less money on the road because I'm not eating at a restaurant every meal.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I gotta do this, man. I gotta do this. We do a little thing. We usually kick it over to Tim for fun facts.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Nate Bargatze]

You guys want some? It's very exciting.

[Brian Bates]

Let's hear it.

[Nate Bargatze]

51%.

[Dusty Slay]

They're not always fun.

[Nate Bargatze]

Oh, no, man. They're fun.

[Brian Bates]

We'll find out. We shall find out.

[Greg Warren]

I'm. I'm looking forward to not even always facts.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah. Yeah. They're neither. Buckle up. Here we go. 51% of certified cheese professionals worldwide come from whole foods. Only 1,000 people have ever passed the American Cheese Society certification exam. Pretty fun so far, right?

[Greg Warren]

What does that mean, though?

[Nate Bargatze]

Well, I'm glad you asked, Dusty. It's like the bar exam for cheese pros.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, okay.

[Nate Bargatze]

Okay. It's just as hard. The exam is given once a year in Richmond, Texas. In order to take the cheese exam, you have to have 4,000 hours of paid or unpaid work in the cheese business.

[Brian Bates]

4,000.

[Greg Warren]

You have to.

[Nate Bargatze]

You have to come in with 4,000 hours. They won't even let you take the test. And over half of the people who take the test are just employed by Whole Foods.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

In the world.

[Nate Bargatze]

In the whole world. 4000 hours in the cheese game, paid or unpaid. That's up to you.

[Sean O'Brien]

You don't know what.

[Nate Bargatze]

What constitutes cheese experience, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Domino's, maybe?

[Nate Bargatze]

I have no idea.

[Dusty Slay]

You're slinging cheese.

[Nate Bargatze]

You're making pizza. Does that count as. As cheese?

[Dusty Slay]

I think you have to be at a cheese store or something.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, because, like, cheese at a pizza place is not good cheese. It may taste good, but it's not good.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's like a. Like a New York pizzeria. Probably in Italy, maybe.

[Greg Warren]

In Italy. Yeah. I bet it's the best cheese you can get.

[Dusty Slay]

But, I mean, can you imagine 4,000 hours and then you flunk the cheese exam? That's gotta be like the LSAT or something like that.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I was just thinking, like, if you worked 40 hours a week, that's roughly 160 hours a month to get to 4,000.

[Dusty Slay]

It's. It's a good part of your life just to. Just to be able to take. Sit and take that exam, and then, you know, probably not a lot of people pass it. No, Sean, No.

[Sean O'Brien]

No, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Didn't you flunk the real.

[Brian Bates]

What? Two years is what it comes out to, right?

[Greg Warren]

100 weeks. We work 40 hours a week. 4,002 years.

[Brian Bates]

That's a long time to a lot of cheese.

[Greg Warren]

I want my cheese to be good. Yeah. I respect it.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I want good cheese. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You don't want some clown.

[Brian Bates]

There's only a thousand.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want people out here who's just like, oh, no, I make cheese. It's like, no, but how much time have you put in?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah. Are you certified? Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You know, so let me some of.

[Dusty Slay]

The questions on that test.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, I don't know. We'll have to take a look.

[Brian Bates]

When Aaron comes back next week, the laptop will look okay. So that means 510. Did I do the math right there?

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. A thousand people have ever passed the exam. Yeah. And 51, 510.

[Greg Warren]

I would think. The people that make cottage cheese have never passed the test.

[Dusty Slay]

It's not very good.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I enjoy it, though.

[Sean O'Brien]

That's another food in bed. That's a lot of fun.

[Nate Bargatze]

Cottage cheese. Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Big old spoon in your bucket.

[Dusty Slay]

I can't even look at it.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I can't either. My, I had a table. I was waiting tables one time and a guy asked me, I. It's the first I'd ever heard this. He goes, do you have like cottage cheese that I could just have on the side? And I was like, what?

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

My buddy, though, he used to. We would go drink and then I think he would go home and eat cottage cheese.

[Sean O'Brien]

I'm with him. Yeah, I enjoy it.

[Dusty Slay]

That's.

[Nate Bargatze]

I drink it.

[Greg Warren]

I don't know. My buddy Derek, he would. He said he would go home and eat cottage cheese.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah. The key has been you have to have a whole milk one. I noticed that. Fat free cod cheese. That's a rough day. Yeah, that's a rough day. But whole, whole milk cod cheese was good. We had it as a kid, like growing up. My daily. You put pepper on it. And I thought that was very unorthodox, but I don't know, maybe that's what people do.

[Nate Bargatze]

So Whole Foods is a great place to work. Fortune's best 100 companies to work for 17 years straight. That's as long as they've been doing it. People love working their Whole Foods employees get a 20% discount at the store. That is significant. But it can go up to 30%, your discount, depending on your cholesterol level. So they encourage you to be healthy. If you're that much healthier, then they'll. They'll cut you a deal.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

What if you have like, genetically, you know, like my little brother, he's got high cholesterol but he's had his whole life. It's not his fault, man.

[Nate Bargatze]

20. 20%.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, man. Rules are rules.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, rules are rules.

[Greg Warren]

They're like, hey, if you want to get the discount, get it down.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yes, exactly.

[Dusty Slay]

He can't, though. I mean, I don't think he can. I don't think there's any lifestyle that he can. There's got to be some arbitration or something to be able to get my brother this extra 10% off Whole Foods is.

[Nate Bargatze]

He can get into the cheese game, make the money that way.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Nate Bargatze]

Have you guys ever been to the Austin flagship store?

[Greg Warren]

You know, I went to Whole Foods in Austin, but I don't know if it was the one.

[Dusty Slay]

You would.

[Nate Bargatze]

You would know. It is enormous. It is. Have you ever been to, like, a huge bass pro shop?

[Greg Warren]

I was just in Austin. I wish I knew that was there.

[Nate Bargatze]

There's pro shop inside the Whole Foods. That's how big it is. No, it is. It's enormous. You can ice skate on the roof. There are all kinds of different restaurants and stuff, even within.

[Greg Warren]

I was just in Austin.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, it's real, real cool. Live music and different parts of it. It's pretty cool. And then they have some things that are unique to different locations. Whole Foods in Westport, Connecticut, they give two team members every month. They're the king and queen of customer service. If they do a really good job, they make them king and queen of customer service. And their reward is that each of them gets two minutes to sprint around the store and just take as many things as they want. They're on a timer. Yeah. Supermarket sweet style. Two minutes. Go for it. And a Whole Foods.

[Greg Warren]

I say you go right for the supplement aisle.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

100%. Just take a shelf and dump it.

[Greg Warren]

Go for the probiotics.

[Dusty Slay]

5,000 right there. 5,000 bucks by just taking your arm and going like that in the supplement aisle.

[Greg Warren]

That's what I thought.

[Dusty Slay]

I bet you they don't let you do that.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, they say it's food are.

[Nate Bargatze]

I bet they let you go for it. You're the king and the queen. They would all know. Yeah, I'm gonna be really nice to people this month.

[Brian Bates]

Like, what would you do with them all, though?

[Greg Warren]

Put them on ebay?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, just resell them.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I wouldn't do that. I'd go by the rules, but I would Sean.

[Nate Bargatze]

And steal.

[Sean O'Brien]

I'd steal them all. I mean, let's just go with. At this point, I'm already looking dirty.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Obviously, they're all about health, but a Dallas Whole Foods store for some time sold American Spirit cigarettes.

[Greg Warren]

All right, I like that.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I guarantee at some point, Mackie was like, hey, man, we. We encourage a little bit of local flair. But no, you can't be selling cigarettes.

[Greg Warren]

Those are the healthy cigarettes. Yeah, but they're still cigarettes. Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

In two stores, one in Maine, one in Massachusetts. Only two stores to sell live lobsters. So they sell live lobsters in the Whole Foods in individual tanks. When purchased, Whole Foods uses a shocker to kill them because they don't want them boiling in pots. So it still comes from the place of vegetarianism. But the certain things that he's like selling out and making money, but they have different policies. For example, they're shocking Lobsters, which is a punk band I was in for.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I like that.

[Nate Bargatze]

Also. We also did not make the whole guarantee.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Early stuff was strong. Pretty fun facts.

[Dusty Slay]

Those are pretty good.

[Greg Warren]

I think so.

[Sean O'Brien]

I got one, too. This one. This one cracked me up, man.

[Greg Warren]

I don't know.

[Sean O'Brien]

Maybe you will remember this, Dusty. Remember they used to put. At Whole Foods, they would have asparagus, water.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

This is real.

[Brian Bates]

Instead of vegetable.

[Greg Warren]

That is.

[Sean O'Brien]

Well, that's a good question. Let's go to dust in that one. A tree. They put three stocks in water. Ball it, bottle it, sell it for like nine bucks.

[Greg Warren]

Wow. I don't remember that.

[Sean O'Brien]

Did not move well.

[Greg Warren]

And, you know, I'm just like, well.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, maybe, you know, you gotta eat. I think, you know, I think the marketing was like, if I just drink the water, I might get all the nutrients from the spirit. You gotta eat the asparagus as well. Like, that's part of the deal now. I don't know. I guess maybe it just enhances the water, obviously, but it was.

[Greg Warren]

This was real.

[Sean O'Brien]

You know, look it up. And I think it. It bought.

[Nate Bargatze]

This is like you were saying at the beginning, they are tricking us to a degree. They were trying to make people think, oh, look at this healthy new fad. Like, they just invented it. It didn't work at all. And then the. It went viral. A girl who, it turns out my wife went to college with, posted somewhere. Whole Foods execs are laughing at us. And that picture. And it went viral. It went big. And then they pulled it. They stopped doing it. And then that girl spun it into a career. She has a career now where she will troll people. Make up hashtags for your wedding. You know how people have clever wedding hashtags?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

People with too much money pay her to make up a hashtag for Their wedding. And it all came because she called out the asparagus. While.

[Dusty Slay]

That's more of a shakedown than the asparagus.

[Nate Bargatze]

I know.

[Dusty Slay]

That's more.

[Greg Warren]

Yes. She learned from the asparagus.

[Dusty Slay]

She went completely other way.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yes.

[Greg Warren]

I remember a chia seed water. They had a. It was a glass bottle, and it was chia seeds. But, you know, when you put chia seeds in water, it. It gets a little. Little clear kind of membrane around it, so it's almost like little eggs in there.

[Nate Bargatze]

Really? I had a. What's the chia pet? The.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah, the pottery thing.

[Dusty Slay]

It's not healthy.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, it isn't.

[Brian Bates]

All right, well, I think. I think we got to start wrapping up because Zany's has a show.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Look out.

[Brian Bates]

I really enjoy you guys play off each other really well.

[Dusty Slay]

This podcast, you were pointing to Tim and Sean.

[Nate Bargatze]

We do.

[Brian Bates]

You guys play off each other, really.

[Nate Bargatze]

You're right, Brian. Thank you.

[Brian Bates]

No, all three of you.

[Nate Bargatze]

And you. You guys are great. I'm gonna start tuning in. Which. Which one of you is Nate, though?

[Dusty Slay]

He's not here.

[Brian Bates]

No, he's not here today. No, he's with Christie.

[Dusty Slay]

It is. Yeah, he's on the Christie Show.

[Nate Bargatze]

Promote snl.

[Greg Warren]

You gotta get on Saturday Night Live.

[Dusty Slay]

Before you can get on the Christie Show. It ain't happening.

[Nate Bargatze]

Thank you.

[Brian Bates]

What shows you got coming up?

[Nate Bargatze]

Coming up, I'm gonna be at the Greg's Columbus thing. I'll be in this weekend. This weekend I'm in Chicago. Oh, it's coming out.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

I'm in Chicago at Zany's with Greg. I've got ludo shows. How Ludo ween at the pageant in St. Louis three nights the weekend before St. Louis and then. Yeah. Punk rock Christmas, which I talked about is first weekend in December at the pageant in St. Louis as well.

[Brian Bates]

This Friday, I am in Knoxville, Tennessee, at Ali Ray's Gastropub. I think.

[Dusty Slay]

Great. Sean and I just did it.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Nice.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that was good.

[Sean O'Brien]

That's fun.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Good food.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Why didn't you take Tim?

[Dusty Slay]

It was the rare occasion where Sean and I were getting along.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

I gotta wait for them to. Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

Very peaceful.

[Brian Bates]

Well, this Friday, come to Ali Ray's Gastropub in Knoxville, Tennessee. Greg says it's great.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, the food's awesome.

[Nate Bargatze]

In the comedy. Comedy.

[Brian Bates]

October 17th, I am at Arlington Drafthouse in Arlington, Virginia.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. I've never been, so.

[Dusty Slay]

I've never been either. I've heard it's great, though.

[Brian Bates]

You ever been Dusty?

[Greg Warren]

Never been.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, D.C. basically.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it is. It's like Millstead, Illinois. It's basically the same thing. October 19th, Clarksville, Tennessee has a new comedy club, Joker's Comedy House. I'm going to be headlining there.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, that sounds fun.

[Greg Warren]

That D.J. prior.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Greg Warren]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

Yep. Yep. And October 25th, I am in Lebanon, Pennsylvania at Lifeway Church. All fun shows. Looking forward to it.

[Dusty Slay]

Awesome.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. What about you?

[Dusty Slay]

This weekend I will be at Zany's Rosemont. That's a suburb of Chicago. Got to play a giant arena there with Nate a few months ago. I'm going to a little smaller venues.

[Greg Warren]

That club's great, though.

[Dusty Slay]

It's awesome. It's a beautiful club. It's really fun. And Tim's going to be there with me. Yeah. Can't wait. And then I got a bunch of shows. But Most importantly, on November 23rd, my friend Tim made me move my special to Columbus, Ohio, and I got to fill that place. So I hope to see some. Some N Land fans. Yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Okay. Big weekend this Friday, Macon, Georgia, the Grand Opera House. I've never done comedy in Macon that I'm aware of. I'm very pumped about it.

[Dusty Slay]

It's great.

[Greg Warren]

It's gonna be great. And then making that a bit of a hometown show for me, I'll be in Charleston, South Carolina, at the Gailyard center on Saturday, October 5th. So I've already sold a lot of tickets to that. But the gay yard is a lot bigger than what I normally do, so percentage wise, doesn't look as good. But if I were doing the old theater that I normally do in Charleston, we would have already sold out. Plus. But it's a bigger room. Yeah. But very exciting. If nobody else buys tickets, it's still a very exciting show, so I'm pumped about it.

[Brian Bates]

Who autographed your beach nut chewing?

[Greg Warren]

Actually, a guy sent this to me.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Greg Warren]

And that was on there when they sent it.

[Brian Bates]

An autograph? Is that what that is?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I just. I don't know. I just got the hat the other day. I'm a post office box, so I don't know what that is.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. I just. Make sure you didn't autograph your own.

[Nate Bargatze]

It's cool.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

No, somebody sent it to me and I. I should have.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, I think it looks like a symbol more. I think Prince.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. And I should have. You know, they wrote a note. I should have brought and said their name. But it's a great hat. Yeah, it's A thick hat.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

It's a winter hat, right, man.

[Sean O'Brien]

Cardinal red. Almost.

[Greg Warren]

Yes. Yeah, it is. I WORE it for St. Louis. There you go. Thanks, you guys. I knew you guys would be here.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

What about you, Sean?

[Sean O'Brien]

This weekend, Thursday through Sunday, St. Charles.

[Dusty Slay]

Funny bone.

[Brian Bates]

Same when you played? Yeah.

[Sean O'Brien]

In St. Charles. Yeah. And then I think a few weeks after, Greg is taking me with him to Michigan.

[Dusty Slay]

Detroit.

[Greg Warren]

Detroit.

[Sean O'Brien]

And Kansas City.

[Dusty Slay]

Kansas City?

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, Kansas City, Detroit. With Greg. As long as he might fire me, I don't know. I get him angry a lot. So we'll see. You know, it's the next tbd.

[Nate Bargatze]

I could be there.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm feeling pretty good about it.

[Nate Bargatze]

We gotta see.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. We've reached a new level in our relationship.

[Nate Bargatze]

That's great.

[Brian Bates]

The consumers every Tuesday. First one's out now.

[Dusty Slay]

First one's out.

[Greg Warren]

Three best comics in St. Louis.

[Nate Bargatze]

Wow.

[Greg Warren]

To Will O'Donnell and.

[Brian Bates]

Will.

[Nate Bargatze]

Come on with.

[Dusty Slay]

I believe the next is Lego.

[Greg Warren]

Ooh, yeah.

[Nate Bargatze]

Deep dive on Lego.

[Greg Warren]

We ate those two.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Very weird.

[Sean O'Brien]

Yeah, very weird to eat those, but.

[Greg Warren]

Tough to eat in bed.

[Brian Bates]

All right, guys, that's the show. Nate. Nate's not going to be back next week. He's got more things going on.

[Dusty Slay]

But we should probably say what he's doing this weekend, Right?

[Brian Bates]

I thought I mentioned it, but he's hosting Saturday Night Live. Did I not mention it before?

[Greg Warren]

I think we did.

[Sean O'Brien]

But yeah, I was saying I wonder who the band is. It's like one of the biggest in the world. Yeah, pretty big.

[Brian Bates]

Aaron should be back next week. I can't wait to hear more about the baby, see some pictures, but they're doing great. So. He says thank you to everybody for the thoughts and prayers. All right, I should be here because where else would I be?

[Dusty Slay]

So I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

Sean, Greg, Tim. Loved having you.

[Nate Bargatze]

Yeah, thanks, guys.

[Greg Warren]

All right, we're having a good time.

[Nate Bargatze]

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

[Brian Bates]

Thanks for tuning in.

[Nate Bargatze]

Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland podcast.

[Greg Warren]

Black Friday is coming.

[Sean O'Brien]

And for the adults in your life.

[Greg Warren]

Who love the coolest toys, well, there's.

[Sean O'Brien]

Something for them this year too. Bartisian is the premier craft cocktail maker.

[Greg Warren]

That automatically makes more than 60 seasonal and classic cocktails each in under 30.

[Sean O'Brien]

Seconds at the push of a button. And right now, Bartisian is having a huge site wide sale.

[Greg Warren]

You can get $100 off any cocktail.

[Sean O'Brien]

Maker or cocktail maker bundle when you spend $400 or more.

[Greg Warren]

So if the cocktail lover in your.

[Sean O'Brien]

Life has been good this year or.

[Greg Warren]

The right kind of bad, get them Bartesian at the push of a button.

[Sean O'Brien]

Make bar quality Cosmopolitans, Martinis, Manhattans and more all in just 30 seconds. All for 100 off Amazing toys aren't just for kids. Get 100 off a cocktail maker when you spend 400 through Cyber Monday.

[Greg Warren]

Visit bartesian.com cocktail that's B A R.

[Sean O'Brien]

T E S I A N dot com cocktail hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. The holiday season is here. That means that it is time to.

[Greg Warren]

Start doing your holiday shopping. This holiday season, shop in store or.

[Sean O'Brien]

Online and get great savings on holiday favorites like Royal Dance, Danish Butter Cookies, a Signature Select Light Up Retro Ceramic.

[Greg Warren]

Tree, Sylvania Mini Lights, Village Candles and.

[Sean O'Brien]

Multiple scents, Pokemon, Scarlet and Violet card sets and more. Offer ends December 3rd.

[Greg Warren]

Restrictions apply.

[Brian Bates]

Promotions may vary.

[Sean O'Brien]

Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Nate Bargatze]

Hey guys, it's Dr. Josie from in the vet's office. Loving a pet often means wondering if you're providing the care they need.

[Brian Bates]

Is there a health issue lurking around the corner?

[Nate Bargatze]

Does the pet needs something or feels something but can't say it? Petivity Health kits and smart products use data and best in class technology to learn your pet's behaviors and alert you to to key changes that you can act on.

[Brian Bates]

Petivity is reimagining pet care with a family of products designed to help give.

[Nate Bargatze]

Your pet a voice and empower you.

[Brian Bates]

To provide the best care possible.

[Nate Bargatze]

Visit petivity.com to learn more.