267: #267 Ponies, Pitches & A Proposal ft. John Crist

Summary

The Nateland Podcast – Episode 267: Ponies, Pitches & A Proposal ft. John Crist

Release Date: August 27, 2025
Hosts: Nate Bargatze, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay
Special Guest: John Crist

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Episode Overview

This lively, laughter-filled episode brings John Crist back to the Nateland podcast table for a discussion packed with comedy, sports, personal milestones, and classic Nateland banter. The crew, broadcasting from their Nashville studio at Zanies Comedy Club, covers everything from wild proposal stories and viral jumbotron videos, to minor league baseball mishaps and life on the modern cowboy ranch. As always, they riff on their own weekends, poke fun at each other's quirks, and take deep (albeit comical) dives into Americana. Highlights include John Crist’s elaborate engagement tale, insights into the Titans’ new fan code of conduct video starring the Nateland team, behind-the-scenes anecdotes about baseball first pitches, and an impromptu cowboy roundtable.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Welcoming John Crist Back & Opening Banter

• John is re-introduced as one of the show’s most frequent guests, joking about the “too much” label (02:00).
• The crew reminisces about who’s been on most, joking about being “on the fringe” of invite status, and what it's like being a recurring face.

2. Titans’ Code of Conduct Video – Going Viral

• [06:00] The Nateland team shares backstage stories about filming the 2025 NFL Titans’ stadium code of conduct video.
• The skit features them as studio analysts instructing fans on proper behavior, with John cast as the “bad fan” who gets ejected.
  • “When they showed this Friday night, the crowd went wild… There was a cheer in the. When they showed that. Oh, I mean, people went wild.” – Dusty (07:25, 08:02)
• The segment will air at every Titans home game for two seasons, a surreal moment for lifelong fans.
  • “All five of us… Who gets canceled? We gotta take this video down. It’s two years. A two year cancellation window.” – John Crist (08:32)

3. Sports Talk – Baseball Pitches & Over/Unders

• Weekend tales include Brian’s “middle child” moment throwing a minor league first pitch alone after three little kids went before him (14:10-15:51).
  • “I threw as hard as I could. And it was not a good pitch. I slipped a little on the mound, almost fell.” – Brian Bates (15:49)
• The guys riff on over/under bets for the Titans, with John playfully hypothesizing about “locker room insider trading.”
  • “You get a locker room vibe… That might be illegal.” – John Crist (10:34)

4. Comedian Life – Podcast Woes, Road Stories, and Social Media Mishaps

• John reveals their “Net Positive” podcast Instagram got wiped out by AI moderation after a tongue-in-cheek segment about church problems (12:17).
  • “We lost our Net Positive podcast page… I think it’s AI.” – John Crist (11:42, 11:53)
• John and Dusty share the convoluted story of episode “clips” going awry and their shared comic misfortune (13:01-13:17).

5. Major Life Update: John Crist’s Elaborate Engagement

• [22:52] John details his lavish, highly-orchestrated proposal at Nashville’s symphony hall, complete with decoy awards, a private orchestra, and a pontoon boat reveal for family and friends.
  • “I got engaged to a woman… I surprised her too much.” – John Crist (22:52, 23:28)
  • The event required a fake “Comedy Impact Award: Comedian of the Quarter,” a red herring so layered even Nate and Laura Bargatze participated.
  • “We created the Comedy Impact Awards at the symphony... That was all so I could propose!” – John Crist (24:04)
• Banter escalates as everyone realizes how many layers of alibis John spun to keep the secret.
  • Best moment: “How did you not ask any questions? …You’ve won the Comedy Impact of Nashville not played Nashville. So what impact have you had?” – Nate (33:26)
• The symphony even played “Steady Love” by Ben Rector and “How to Train Your Dragon,” and a 47-person party boat carried all their loved ones.

6. Comic Fashion and Tour Talk

• Nate and John philosophize on the “jacket or jersey on stage” debate and the etiquette of sports fandom as performers get bigger (54:16-56:25).
  • “You want people to come to shows and trust my vision… I just want to look the part.” – Nate (55:56)
• They go deep on comedy attire, proper time for a suit, and how Julian McCullough works local merch/identity into arena shows.

7. Cowboys & Ranch Recap

• [71:50] In the second half, John shares about attending “cowboy camp” in Montana—a five-day “cattle drive” vacation.
  • “We were on the ranch for five days, brother, out there in Montana… Me and Lydia… This is a cattle drive. They only take expert horse riders.” – John Crist (71:50-72:11)
• Dusty provides a humorous cowboy primer (origins, terminology, what chaps are for).
  • Banter erupts about brands, fake ranch work, and the industrial tourist cowboy experience.

8. Comedy Props, Gimmicks & Magic

• John muses about “prop comedy” tours, ventriloquist/misdirection ideas, fake crowd plants, magician pratfalls, and having a tour “logo.”
  • Best meta-moment: “I'm not saying there’s not going to be any props, but we’ll see… Expect the unexpected.” – John Crist (104:49, 103:10)
• The group reflects on planned vs. organic crowd work routines, and the limits/ethics of staging “crowd moments.”

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Notable Quotes

• On longevity in podcasting:
  “He comes off looking like the good guy… That’s what happens every Nateland moment: we look like jerks and then Brian pops in.” – Dusty (13:32)
• On first pitches:
  “There was three other people that threw out the first pitch with me, and they were all little kids.” – Brian (14:16)
• On proposal surprises:
  “I think I surprised her too much…Like, if she was on the way and someone said ‘this is fake, you’re getting engaged,’ she’d be like ‘no, I’m not.’” – John Crist (23:28)
• On doing stadium videos:
  “Now they’re all the way down to Nateland. That’s who they’ve got left in Nashville.” – Brian Bates (06:22)
• On the future of stand-up attire:
  “Rise to the occasion.” – Brian Bates (58:03)
• On going viral with bad baseball throws:
  “Throwing out the first pitch or doing anything baseball related…it could only go wrong.” – John Crist (18:02)
• On planned crowd work:
  “You’re a showman. You have to sell that this has never happened before to this crowd.” – Nate (94:34)
• On comedian “logos”:
  “I would like you to have one [logo]…Yours would be a worried face. Just a guy who looks worried.” – Nate to Brian (81:21)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:12 – Show intro, John Crist joins, reflexive banter on recurring guest status
• 06:00 – Titans’ Jumbotron code of conduct skit stories
• 14:10–15:51 – Brian’s minor league first pitch misadventure
• 22:52–38:41 – John Crist’s proposal story: fake awards, symphony hall, pontoon reveal
• 54:16–56:25 – Comedian wardrobe philosophy: suits, sports gear, respect for fans
• 71:50–78:09 – John’s Montana “cowboy camp” summary; cowboy history, brandings
• 88:34–94:34 – Comic prop ideas, fake crowd work, and comedy “magic”
• 104:49–105:25 – John’s “no props (maybe)” tour tease and soft-launching a logo
• 106:10–end – Wrapping up, Brian’s “worried logo,” upcoming tour plugs

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Notable Memorable Moments

• John’s engagement required inventing the “Comedy Impact Award: Comedian of the Quarter” just to lure his fiancée to a fake event at the symphony.
• The Nateland cast’s code of conduct skit for the Titans is now a stadium staple—crowds cheer when John gets hauled out by players.
• Brian’s mortification about pitching “between adorable kids,” then sprinting alone to his show.
• A revealing, funny look at how comedians really develop “crowd work” bits and the myth of spontaneous stage magic.
• Cowboying at a luxury resort: “I think the one girl could have done it herself, the professional.” – John Crist
• Planning vs. performance: John’s elaborate description of managing props, special effects, and physical gags for tour ideas (“I want to have Pyro in the show.”)

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Final Thoughts

This episode is peak Nateland—a blend of self-deprecating humor, wild behind-the-scenes stories, big announcements (a proposal!), and friendly ribbing about the business of comedy and the quirks of American life. If you’re new to Nateland, this will both endear the hosts to you and keep you laughing throughout, while giving rare insights into how comedians think, plan, and occasionally out-prank one another.

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For full laughs, stick around for: John’s runaway cowboy stories, the epic planning of his proposal, and classic tangents on childhood TV channels, branding mishaps, and whose logo would be the most relatable!

Transcript

[Aaron Weber]

Hey there.

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[Brian Bates]

Hello, folks, and hey Bear. Welcome into the Nate Land podcast. Excited to have you here. It's really going to be a great show. Kick back, settle in. We've got a lot of things happening here in the Nateland studio located in the heart of of Nashville, Tennessee at Zany's Comedy Club. Welcome into the Nateland podcast. I'm Aaron Weber, joined as always by the core of the Nateland podcast, the heart of the operation, Brian Bates. All right, sitting at the table next to me. And we are joined this week by an old friend of the podcast, a staple of what we're building here at Nateland Studios, John Crist. Back at it in the building. Thank you for joining us, John. Nate will be here shortly. He'll be here in just a few minutes.

[John Crist]

Am I the most repeat guest?

[Brian Bates]

I think Greg Warren's got you beat, but you're, you're fighting your way up to the top. You've been here, frankly, too much.

[John Crist]

Yeah, I agree, but.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

How many times, Greg?

[Brian Bates]

I think you were 80. I think you were the first guest in the new studio here. So it's a bit of a homecoming in that regard.

[Dusty]

Yeah. I mean, didn't we do a one with Dustin and Melissa Nickerson?

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[Brian Bates]

I didn't look into it at all. I feel like you were the first one here in the new studio. So.

[John Crist]

You ever get invited something that's. This didn't happen this time. But you ever get invited to something but you're like, this is tomorrow. I think people have been invited.

[Dusty]

I have a joke about it.

[John Crist]

Okay, yeah, you've been invited early.

[Dusty]

I get an Evite, and I'll open it immediately. And there's already all these people who's responded either yes or no or whatever. And I realized I didn't make the first cut.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

So I've only got invited because these people said no. I think them.

[Brian Bates]

I had a few people like that in our wedding where, like, some people RSVP node and you're like, oh, some space is cleared up.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So now we can invite some people.

[Dusty]

I looked out then, too.

[Brian Bates]

On the fringe. No, you were an early invite, Brian. Come on. A few things to be aware of here. Nate Land. The ball is rolling here. A lot of stuff going on. Nateland presents the showcase. Season three is here. We've had a lot of great comedians on it already. I think I was just watching Nathan Mash's set. That dude is so funny. But tune in this week for the premiere of the legendary Yakov Smirnoff.

[Dusty]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

His set is premiering this weekend. He's done the podcast. You know him, you love him. He had people say, it's one of the better episodes we've had in this podcast.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And. And I feel like all we did was just listen to him talk the whole time. So it's a little bit of an indictment on us. That was everyone's favorite episodes, the one where y' all talk the least. But his showcase premieres this Friday night, August 29th. Tune in. Be sure to support it, leave a comment, like it, all of that stuff. They're also going to be taping Nateland is the Ryan Hamilton new Special for Netflix. Two shows October 4th at the Neptune Theater in Seattle. That's a big deal. Do you know anyone could throw something up on YouTube? N land's getting stuff on Netflix.

[John Crist]

Why?

[Brian Bates]

What's up?

[John Crist]

Is that against me?

[Brian Bates]

No, my special's that on YouTube too. Come on.

[Dusty]

They're both losers is what he's saying.

[John Crist]

I put four specials on YouTube, dude.

[Brian Bates]

So go see the taping of that. Ryan's one of the best, man. He did the Nan showcase that he did at the Ryman, and I had never really, like, watched a full set of his. He's so funny. He is so funny and such. Just like a polished.

[Dusty]

Like a pro.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, a pro, I guess is the right word for it.

[John Crist]

So get Back to that.

[Brian Bates]

October 4th at the Neptune Theater in Seattle. A few Tickets left for the 7pm Show. Tickets still available for the second show at 9:30pm Go be a part of history. Go be a part of comedy history and see Ryan Hamilton's Netflix special taping. But here we are, the Nateland studio, waiting on Nate. We've been here before last week. You think by now we'd be able to handle this with more grace, but no, we're still just sitting here waiting on Nate to show up. But we're excited to have you, John. What have you been up to? Save the big news for later.

[Dusty]

Okay, well, when we talk about our weekends.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, Yeah, I want to hear about that.

[Dusty]

Mine's gonna be pretty fast, though.

[Brian Bates]

Nate's not gonna be interested in ours.

[Dusty]

He's not gonna be interested in John. Be totally honest. But we have to at least pretend like we're interested in Giants.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty]

I was home this weekend. Nate was kind enough to get us tickets to the Titans preseason game.

[John Crist]

All right.

[Dusty]

And some of us went, so thanks, Nate, for that. And we got to see the premiere of our video. So if people don't know we're doing. We recorded a Titans code of conduct.

[Brian Bates]

I think we've talked about it yet on the podcast. And I'm a part of this.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Yeah, we'll get into that, too. So just real brief for people. Don't. NFL requires every team to list a few rules, code of conduct before the game, obvious stuff like don't throw anything.

[Brian Bates]

On the field, don't fight people, don't smoke, stuff like that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

And these teams get creative and try to come up with fun ways to put these rules out. So this year, they asked us to do it.

[Brian Bates]

This year, the Titans went the other route.

[Dusty]

They've done song parodies in the past.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, the Oak Ridge Boys did this in the past.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And now they're all the way down to Nateland. That's who they've got left in Nashville.

[Dusty]

So we played, like, NFL studio analyst and went in the Titans studio and got dressed up. And let me tell you something. When they showed this Friday night, the crowd went wild. Look at that. I mean.

[John Crist]

Oh, Oh, I got it. I got it. I didn't know what my part was, but okay. You're in the studio reviewing the people's behavior.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty]

Oh, you haven't seen it yet. I mean, look at those. People are going nuts.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty]

It was such a big pop.

[John Crist]

Yeah. That's wild.

[Nate]

How.

[Brian Bates]

How long before the game do they play it?

[Dusty]

Too soon, in my opinion.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, so it's like two hours before the game.

[Dusty]

It looks like it now. It was 6:43 when they showed it for a 7 o' clock kickoff. But preseason.

[John Crist]

Preseason game. Yeah.

[Dusty]

Nobody gets in their seats early.

[Brian Bates]

But you can see right there, it's. It's Nate, Brian, me and Dusty, and we're NFL. It was such a fun thing to shoot. This is like I've always wanted to, you know, sweet. Be in it. Be an analyst on one of these shows or something.

[Dusty]

Right.

[John Crist]

Dusty dressed up.

[Dusty]

That's Dusty's brand.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know, you learn to just not ask questions after a while, you know.

[Dusty]

But that is Dusty dressed up.

[Brian Bates]

It is funny. I feel like a lot of the comments were like, it's very funny that Dusty's just wearing his normal clothes. So the three of us are in suits dressing the part.

[Dusty]

And, and John's in it. He gets sacked by a couple of Titans.

[John Crist]

I'm one of the people doing the bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

The, the, the plot of it is we're kind of running through some of the infractions you can make in the crowd. And we cut to video of people doing stuff and John's one of the guys who gets escorted out of the stadium.

[Dusty]

There was a cheer in the. When they showed that. Oh, I mean, people went wild.

[Aaron Weber]

Boo. Yeah.

[John Crist]

No, it's. A bunch of people texted me, said they were there. So I'm guessing I'm going to be getting these every Sunday for two years. I guess only the. I guess only the home games.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But for two seasons they're going to play this on the jumbotron before every game.

[John Crist]

It's a lot of pressure.

[Brian Bates]

So it's super cool. I mean, we were talking about what a cool thing it is. Brian, who's had season tickets to the Titans since they became a team here, and you're sitting up with the nosebleeds and now you're on the jumbotron before every game.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Dang. What are the. What are the odds with all five of us? Who gets. Who gets canceled? We got to take this video down. It's two years. A two year cancellation window.

[Dusty]

What do you mean? Oh, if one of us gets.

[John Crist]

Yeah, you're already.

[Brian Bates]

You're already grandfathered in.

[Aaron Weber]

I guess.

[Brian Bates]

I think we're good for. I think we're good for a while.

[Dusty]

I'd still put money on John.

[John Crist]

Like, hey, we gotta take it. We gotta recut now. We could reshoot my scene though. You could keep y'. All.

[Brian Bates]

We can edit you out more easily.

[Aaron Weber]

Than.

[Brian Bates]

Than one of the four of us.

[Dusty]

Tristan doesn't have another friend. I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Tristan's in it, too. Tristan, the longtime producer of the podcast.

[John Crist]

Yeah, we're in the scene together.

[Dusty]

I guess everyone's in Adrian, his whole family.

[Brian Bates]

Adrian's in it. Nate's parents are in it. There's.

[Dusty]

They're Ushers.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

There's all kinds of fun little Easter eggs. People in the. Nateland.

[John Crist]

Chase is in it.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah, Chase. Nate's son.

[John Crist]

Y. I guess if you go. I guess Nate's on the end and then Dusty's on the end. So if we did have to re. Re. We got those two. If they canceled, it could survive. If one a person on the end now, either y' all two next season.

[Brian Bates]

They're just zoomed into me and Brian on there.

[John Crist]

It's just.

[Brian Bates]

If it's just the two of us, I'll say this. It's a much worse sketch if it's just Brian and I. None of the dialogue makes sense at all, but a very cool thing to do. Thank you. For the Titan. The Titans have been real cool to us from day one. I mean, we were in that schedule release video last season, the Titan, and they send us stuff all the time. So it's really cool to have the Titans on board with what we're doing.

[John Crist]

So what if we got an over under on wins for the Titans?

[Brian Bates]

Over under on what we want or what we expect.

[Dusty]

It's five and a half. I think I like that projection.

[Brian Bates]

How did. How did Cam Ward look? How's it been?

[Dusty]

Look, he looked good. I mean, you know. Yeah, it's hard to tell with preseason because so many people aren't even starting.

[Brian Bates]

But he's probably not even getting a ton of snaps, right?

[Dusty]

No, he played like two series, maybe.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, perfect.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So if he got hurt in the preseason game, it'd be.

[Dusty]

It'd be bad.

[Brian Bates]

It'd be real bad.

[John Crist]

Well, you guys are in far enough, I feel like. And this might be illegal, but now you can. You can get a locker room vibe of. Of the. Of the over under.

[Dusty]

You were like, hey, what are we really insider trading?

[John Crist]

Yeah. Well, don't say it. Don't document it like. But if somebody in there goes, hey, listen, I've been to all this training camps. I've been to all these practice. We are going to be unbelievable. Or.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, the other. They go five and a half.

[John Crist]

Take this.

[Brian Bates]

Is that the futures bet right now? Five and a half. The over.

[Dusty]

Five and half wins is what they're projecting.

[John Crist]

So you got to have six. Yeah. Six to six. Out of. That's a lot of wins.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Out of 16 games. 17 games. A lot of wins.

[Brian Bates]

17 games.

[Dusty]

Yeah. They only won three this past season, though.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

So that was it. I just spotted Zany Saturday night. I do want to mention, I was on John's podcast for two straight weeks.

[John Crist]

Net positive. Oh, yeah.

[Dusty]

And the bad boy of podcasting got it taken down on Instagram.

[Brian Bates]

Wait, what happened?

[Dusty]

Did you not want to talk about that?

[John Crist]

Well, not. Not the specifics of it. Oh, but it did get. No, we lost our. Our page. 170, 000.

[Brian Bates]

Wait, what?

[John Crist]

We lost our Net positive podcast page. Why? Because of Brian?

[Dusty]

No, no, it wasn't because of Brian. That sounds worse.

[John Crist]

It sounds worse.

[Aaron Weber]

Wrong.

[Dusty]

It's. Don't we think it's AI just AI.

[John Crist]

I think it's AI. Yeah. AI is combing all content and just. We got it removed because of something. It was out of context. It was said. Is that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Okay.

[Dusty]

So, Yeah, I don't know why you don't want, like, make something worse, but.

[John Crist]

No, yeah, it does make. Sound way worse. Yeah.

[Dusty]

And we did another. So basically my episode was, John had people submit questions or problems in their church, and we help them with the answer.

[John Crist]

Fictitious. We're joking. Helping them. Yeah. Somebody was like, my pastor invited me out to lunch and then he made me pay. What should I do? Stuff like that. I'll just say, if you can cut it. You can cut this out if you want it. Basically, one of the questions was, my children's pastor is on Instagram wearing bikini pics. And what should I. What should we confront him? And I think AI found those words.

[Brian Bates]

Confront him as a dude wearing bikinis.

[John Crist]

No, a girl. Yeah, maybe.

[Dusty]

Yeah, it's a girl, probably.

[Aaron Weber]

But okay.

[John Crist]

And then AI, I think, founded that. That sentence and shut down the whole thing. Oh, does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. You can cut that if you want to, but that. Yeah, it does make it sound way worse.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know if that would have been my clip for the week, but.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That was a bold choice on your part, John.

[Dusty]

Well, another clip he had where he just basically berates the nice people who makes fun of.

[John Crist]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Dusty]

There was one. Yeah, there was one clip that we chose.

[John Crist]

That is the. That is the great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty]

But, you know, someone is in a singles ministry.

[John Crist]

There's.

[Dusty]

There is no singles ministry. She said, you know, at her church, it needs to be. And John's like, oh, you're Single. It's for a reason. It's not because of.

[John Crist]

Wow. No, I didn't say, like, you said.

[Brian Bates]

That to the guy who was single till he's 48.

[John Crist]

I know, I know.

[Aaron Weber]

Then.

[John Crist]

Then he comes off looking like the good guy.

[Dusty]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Crist]

Oh, we love Brian.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, that's what happens every Nateland moment is we look like the jerks and then Brian pops in and they go.

[Dusty]

Oh, it's funny how that works.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Did you do that on why other people'.

[Aaron Weber]

We.

[John Crist]

We. I feel like we've done that in our group text that we go, this is the clip, like, you know of, like. Yeah, I know. And I think that when I. We clip ours right after we go. And they go, this is what? This is the clip.

[Brian Bates]

Sometimes it's hard sometimes.

[John Crist]

Yeah, it's hard sometimes.

[Brian Bates]

I was in Lowell. Do you have more you want to talk about?

[Dusty]

No, that was it.

[Brian Bates]

I was in Lowell, Arkansas, at the Grove Comedy Club.

[John Crist]

Shout out, Bill.

[Brian Bates]

Shout out, Bill Adams. Man, we had a fun weekend. Sold out a show. I'd never sold out a show.

[John Crist]

It was pretty.

[Brian Bates]

The other shows were not well, but they were pretty not. But the one that was sold out was a lot of fun. Thank you to everybody that came. I threw out the first pitch at the Arkansas Naturals game. The Northwest Arkansas Naturals game. It's amazing. I always try to set this up and you always think it's going to be a bigger deal than it is. And I got there and they're borderline annoyed that I was there. Like, there was. There was three other people that threw out the first pitch with me, and they were all little kids.

[Dusty]

You're like Andy Reid. See that video? Andy Reid?

[John Crist]

Yeah. Playing football.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Around the little kids.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I was like, it'll be a fun thing. I like the idea of the game was at 6 and the show started at 6:30. So I was like, let's all go over. We'll do this first pitch and then go run and make the show.

[John Crist]

Who's. Let's all.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, me and the other comics got a team there. Jay Flake was with me and a guy named Michael Blank from Kansas City. So I say we'll go hang out at the game. We'll get our free Bobby Witt Jr. Bobblehead at the game and see me throw the first pitch and we'll head over to the game. Well, they were worried. Everybody started to be worried it'd be a little too close to showtime. So I had to go to this game alone by. By myself. That's and, you know, it's three kids that are like, adorable. Their first pitch was like five feet from the plate. And the crowd went all, yeah. And then I had to go up and I threw as hard as I could. And it was not a good pitch. I slipped a little on the mound, almost fell.

[John Crist]

No excuses, bro.

[Brian Bates]

Next time I throw out a first pitch, I'm tucking my shirt in. I'll say that. I learned the hard way. I learned the hard way. You gotta tuck the shirt in when he. When he throw real.

[Dusty]

Instagram took down the video.

[Brian Bates]

The best part, same reasons. The best part is, you know, they were just. Because there's four first pitches. They're rattling off these intros. So they just said, and Aaron Weber representing the Grove Comedy Club. So these people don't even know I'm a comedian. They're like, does this guy just washer at the. Like, why is this guy out here?

[John Crist]

You have other credits that are bigger than that. If you were saying stuff I said, I'm.

[Brian Bates]

A whole intro. Everybody there was nice, but it was just. You think it's going to be way more than it is.

[John Crist]

Do you want the full intro after three kids go, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty]

Reset the room.

[Brian Bates]

I had a late show I was trying to sell. Come on. And I wasn't even last. There was a kid that pitched after me, too.

[Dusty]

You were in the middle.

[John Crist]

I was in the middle. The first pitch feature.

[Dusty]

For an eight year old.

[Nate]

The first pitch.

[Brian Bates]

So I threw. I threw the pitch.

[Aaron Weber]

The.

[Brian Bates]

It was one of the coaches caught it and he was like. He goes, coach pitch. He goes, it's a little high. He goes a little high. I would have swung. He was cool. And then I grabbed my ball. Then I had to run out to the parking lot, get in the car, drive and make like a.

[John Crist]

What kind of car?

[Brian Bates]

My car that I. My car.

[John Crist]

Oh, you didn't rent a car. That's like a full focus out there. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

That's good.

[Brian Bates]

I drove my car. All right.

[John Crist]

That's better.

[Brian Bates]

Eight and a half hour drive.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And now.

[Dusty]

Why do you find a fable? Is it just easier to drive?

[Aaron Weber]

Boom.

[Brian Bates]

How about that? I got my own. Little easier to drive tour around here.

[Dusty]

Is that. Is it just easier?

[Brian Bates]

You can't fly south.

[John Crist]

Joke.

[Brian Bates]

You can't fly southwest in the northwest. Arkansas. So I was like, I'd have to buy me and Jay's ticket. I was like, let's just drive.

[Dusty]

Jay, drive.

[Brian Bates]

I could make change easier for Jay to drive tour.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Anyway, it was a fun weekend. Thank you to everybody. Came out a lot of really nice people. The meet and greet lines are like fun. People that listen to the podcast are so nice and, you know, they talk about.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

How they listen to it. Anyway. It just means a lot. It was a. It was a fun weekend.

[John Crist]

There's been. There's been a couple bad. It's. I feel like throwing out the first pitch or doing anything baseball related is similar to. I've asked, like, country artists about singing the national anthem. It could only go wrong.

[Brian Bates]

That's true.

[John Crist]

Like, what's her name from. Call her daddy with the Cubs recently. Oh. And then.

[Brian Bates]

What are you talking about?

[John Crist]

Didn't she do the, the. The whatever. The seventh inning stretch game or. Oh, she's saying Sweet Caroline, one of them. And everybody's like, like, I.

[Brian Bates]

Sweet Carol, take me out to the ball game. Who's the seventh inning stretch?

[Dusty]

The Red Sox. Yeah, do that.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, okay.

[Dusty]

I don't know if it's during the.

[John Crist]

Seventh inning, so I've thrown out my. My team is the Braves.

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[John Crist]

And I have the sounds here. Not. But I've thrown out the first. I don't. I don't think I would. Oh, for a competitor.

[Brian Bates]

Now all 150.

[John Crist]

Not me.

[Brian Bates]

But I've done three.

[John Crist]

Not me.

[Brian Bates]

I was supposed to do it.

[John Crist]

Minor league's different.

[Brian Bates]

Well, all majors and all my leagues. I'm trying to do it.

[John Crist]

Not me.

[Brian Bates]

I've done three. I got 147 to go. I went to Tulsa and the game got rained out for my first, so I couldn't do that one. But I could count that. If you count that I've done four.

[John Crist]

Because minor leagues, they feed into. Yeah. I'm not trying to. Don't know. I know all the major league teams are listening to this. Like, shoot. I was going to say don't call me. They're not calling you anyway, dude, I'm staying the Braves only. I'll do it again for the Braves. I won't do anybody else. I'm going to do Phillies, bro.

[Brian Bates]

I'll go do the Phillies.

[John Crist]

No way.

[Brian Bates]

I'm not going to wear the jersey. But I'll.

[John Crist]

I would never double cross the team that I grew up with by throwing at the first pitch. Especially anyone of Mets. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. All right. A man of principle.

[Brian Bates]

I respect it.

[John Crist]

I am now.

[Dusty]

As of right now.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So as of this week, starting today.

[Dusty]

I'm going to the White Sox game this weekend and I asked if I could throw up for spit, and they're like, sorry or full.

[Brian Bates]

I thought about asking When I was there, but it was Derrick Rose was throwing it out and they're like, all right. Well, he's pretty big.

[Dusty]

They alluded to the fact they have a few people doing it because I think often it is a few people, right?

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But then there's like a headliner.

[Dusty]

You were there opening weekend. I think it was like, probably got a big act. I'm like, come on, it's late August. But they still said no.

[Brian Bates]

Did you hit up the guy? Our mutual.

[John Crist]

Yeah, he hit me up.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, cool. Yeah, he'll take good care.

[John Crist]

Well, there's like a. There's like a first. Like a minor league first pitch drug dealer, like, hit up my guy. Did he. Where are you going?

[Brian Bates]

I got a White Sox guy.

[John Crist]

The Tulsa Drillers. I got you. He's like, no, I couldn't get in there. Hold on. I got.

[Aaron Weber]

Let me make a call.

[Dusty]

I know a guy.

[Brian Bates]

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[Dusty]

Well, let me just say I was texting before we get into your weekend, I was texting John this weekend. Something about this podcast and I'm just ran and he was either very slow to reply or didn't reply at all. And I'm just like, all right, he's shooting the Cracker Barrel sketch, so I'll just let him do his thing. I just assumed, right?

[John Crist]

Cracker Barrel.

[Dusty]

Be like, he's got.

[John Crist]

He's.

[Dusty]

He's got overalls on right now. I guarantee you, shoot me something. But then once. Once I found the news about his weekend, I'm like, okay, well, he was a little busy, right?

[Brian Bates]

He had stuff earlier than me.

[Dusty]

So tell us about your weekend.

[John Crist]

That's how you're going to promote it?

[Dusty]

Well, I mean. No, I'll say. I'll say something else, Aaron, before he talks about his news. How did you find out?

[John Crist]

Oh, no.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, this will be a fun.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, John. Well, I, I. I knew. Do you want to just talk about that after?

[Dusty]

Okay, go ahead.

[John Crist]

Yeah. I got engaged to a woman.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Dusty]

A woman this time, folks.

[John Crist]

Oh, is that what you want? That was a surprise. Congratulations. I didn't say it right. Hey, dude, I made it now.

[Brian Bates]

Got engaged.

[John Crist]

Now it's five white. Five married white guys on this pod. Yeah. Talking about telling the world how it should be.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty]

Well, you're not gonna be a regular, but.

[John Crist]

Oh, I thought. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't get too comfortable. Oh, sorry, sorry. My bad. I was too much. I was too much. Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty]

Congratulations.

[Brian Bates]

I got a gauge. Congrats, man.

[John Crist]

To my girlfriend.

[Brian Bates]

How's it feel to your fiance?

[John Crist]

Unbelievable, man. My fiance. Now tell us about it, man. Okay, I think I was. I. I surprised her too much. Oh, really? Like, if she. If we were on the way over there and somebody's like, hey, this is a fake event. You're getting engaged. She'd be like, no, I'm not.

[Brian Bates]

Because you did such a good job.

[John Crist]

We had, like, 97 layers. It was at the symphony. The funniest part. We'll laugh at this. I'm glad Nate's not here for this. But I said me and Brian Dorfman from Outback. Who's that? Own Zany's. We created the Comedy Impact Awards at. At the Shimmerhorn. At the symphony.

[Brian Bates]

You created a fake event? Yeah, at the symphony.

[Nate]

Wow.

[John Crist]

The guys on my podcast like, a little egotistical to make an awards for you. Wait, wait.

[Brian Bates]

So the COVID was that you were receiving an award?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Not that.

[John Crist]

Not that. No, wait, it gets worse. Oh, God, it gets way worse, dude. I was like, how it's gonna be?

[Brian Bates]

How did that not send up any red flags? She knew the whole time I bet.

[Dusty]

She'S playing along with you.

[Nate]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

I thought that.

[John Crist]

So I go, it's the Comedy Impact Awards. And I go, I don't know what this says about me or what I thought about. I go, they're giving me an award for a Comedian of the quarter. Because I was like, comedian of the year. She'd be like, why isn't it, Nate? Like, she wouldn't.

[Dusty]

And why is it in August?

[John Crist]

Yeah, why is it in August? I was like, last, like, Q1.

[Brian Bates]

I'm like, the Q1 comedian of the fiscal quarter.

[Dusty]

You mean for the century?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

They were like, me. They were like, well, you can't. I was like, I'm accepting an award on behalf of Nashville Comedy. Oh, okay. Like. And I'm like, comedian of the. So the. Like. Well, she would have been like, is Nate. Is Laura going? Because Nate was on the road, but he's like, is Laura then? So I got Laura. I called Laura.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And she was like, okay, I'll get her in what outfit? And then Lucy was also involved. That's probably how you heard. How he heard.

[Aaron Weber]

That's how I found out about it.

[John Crist]

Yeah, no, that's. That. What do you mean?

[Brian Bates]

I think Brian's upset that he. I mean, Brian found out about an.

[Dusty]

Hour ago, I was leaving church, and a random woman said, I saw you on John's podcast. Y' all must be good friends. I'm like, we're great friends. And she was like, so you at the engagement party? I'm like, what's that? She's like, oh, John, Chris got engaged this weekend.

[John Crist]

There's no party.

[Aaron Weber]

There's no party.

[Dusty]

And I'm like, what? And then I immediately text Aaron. He's like, oh, yeah, I know.

[John Crist]

We had to be involved. Aaron had to be involved, and they had to be involved.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty]

Well, I found out from a random lady at my church in the parking lot. Yeah, that's.

[John Crist]

I don't know how she found out. I mean, she was at the party, but.

[Brian Bates]

Ladies and gentlemen, her daughter was there. He's. Welcome into the Neyland Podcast, Nate Bar gets.

[Nate]

Hey, congrats, buddy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, man.

[Nate]

I don't.

[Aaron Weber]

I.

[Nate]

You texted me, and I knew what happened, and then. Yeah, I don't know if I texted you back here.

[John Crist]

I had to. We had to involve Laura in it. I was like, yeah, I told Nate.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

I knew about it a week ago.

[John Crist]

During the week or something? Yeah, yeah, something like that.

[Brian Bates]

So you had the symphony hall rented? Like, rented out?

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah, rented.

[Brian Bates]

The whole thing was the Actual symphony there, too.

[John Crist]

Yeah, a couple pieces of it.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[John Crist]

I get the whole thing.

[Aaron Weber]

The whole.

[John Crist]

The whole symphony was like.

[Nate]

You negotiated.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You go, I'll take the flute stuff. I don't think we go, yeah.

[Dusty]

How much is the flute stuff?

[Nate]

How much is just the flute stuff?

[John Crist]

What is that one? The whole.

[Nate]

Can I have one? Trombone. And they go. Trombones are Trombone. That guy's expensive.

[John Crist]

Let me hear it without the trombone. Yeah.

[Nate]

Well, how expensive? Who's the most expensive? They go. Our trumpets are timpani.

[Brian Bates]

You don't need a timpani.

[Nate]

You don't need a timpani.

[John Crist]

The lead. The lead violinist is. She's got a thing this weekend. We got the. The.

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Second chair. I don't know if she would have even came in.

[Dusty]

She practicing helping you up there?

[Nate]

Lead by. Yeah, would have been. And then. Yeah, yeah. I mean, how many pieces did you have?

[John Crist]

We had we. It's like a. Well, they were like, we. You don't want the. The symphony is in with the. Like, the union or something. They were like, how about we. You just get your own symphony. Your own symphony.

[Nate]

But then you. Do you know what to ask for for the symphony?

[John Crist]

Well, give me, like. Give me like a. How much is a. I feel like it's kfc. How much for a six piece?

[Aaron Weber]

Yes. Yeah.

[John Crist]

Let me get it.

[Nate]

I know, but is there someone that you talk to that says that?

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah. They were kind of like a price point.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

I was like.

[Nate]

They were like, what do I need?

[John Crist]

It's a simple. It'll sound full. If one person's playing a recorder, you could hear it in the place.

[Brian Bates]

What song were they playing? Morgan Wallen something.

[Dusty]

The Lion K.

[John Crist]

Not too many people.

[Brian Bates]

They're playing y'. All. They play like, y' all songs.

[John Crist]

They played Steady Love by Ben Rector.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, great song.

[John Crist]

Because of God. And then they played the. You're gonna make fun of me for this, but I don't care. The theme song for how to Train youn Dragon, I mean, that's one of.

[Brian Bates]

The best soundtracks of all time.

[Nate]

Is it?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

The score is unbelievable.

[Nate]

Oh, yeah.

[John Crist]

Because I got. That was a little bit of a reach. I got this next song.

[Dusty]

I hope you're DJing.

[John Crist]

No, I feel like they had a.

[Dusty]

Lot for this next one. Oh, yeah. They had to learn it.

[John Crist]

She goes, is this the how to train your dragon thing? I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Game on.

[Nate]

Did she have to sit as all three played? Well, did y' all just have to stand there?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Three songs. So, like, a lot Going on, it's like 12 minutes.

[Dusty]

That's why you're on the ground walking.

[Brian Bates]

Up to it, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

First time you're walking up, is it.

[Brian Bates]

Like, as soon as y' all walked in, this, it's. That's the surprise or it was the reveal later at the altar or the stage.

[John Crist]

No, this. They were playing before. They had, like, a cue. When we pull in the parking lot, start playing.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Oh, I see a symphony member back.

[Nate]

What if you just didn't do Ask her for all this?

[Dusty]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And he's like, I just thought it'd be a good date night.

[John Crist]

Well, everybody wants to be surprised. So I tried. I was. I thought. I was like, dude, I should take her. Every woman is going to turn off the podcast. Like, I should take her to the Eiffel Tower like, a week before just to, like, see it.

[Brian Bates]

Just to throw. Fake her out a bit.

[Nate]

To fake her out?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And not do it.

[John Crist]

Not do it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And she'd be like.

[Nate]

I was like, did she think it was coming?

[John Crist]

No, because I. Shoot. No, not. No, no.

[Dusty]

Because he told her he was getting Comedian of the century.

[Aaron Weber]

Yes.

[Nate]

Yeah, I did know that. And a comedic comedy award. Yeah, I. I was getting an award.

[John Crist]

Yeah, you're getting an award?

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

No, you were saying you were getting an award.

[Nate]

Was I?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Lesser than you? Yeah, I was getting runner up Comedian of the century.

[Dusty]

It's his fantasy, Nate. Let him do what he wants.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

And then you had.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You had Laura accepting my award because I couldn't be there that weekend.

[John Crist]

You were on tour.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Nate]

I don't know if I would have went if I'm not even the top award. I was. I was third, fourth down because I was barely. I was barely getting an award.

[John Crist]

You weren't doing a guest spot.

[Dusty]

Was Lucy accepting for Aaron?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Hannah for Dusty. And then I had a lady at my church tell me.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Then Bates was wide open for his. And I really was home.

[Dusty]

I could have been there.

[Nate]

You didn't even give Bates a fake award.

[John Crist]

Well, I should have. Yeah, I should have listed out.

[Dusty]

That would have probably been a tip.

[John Crist]

We had a whole run of show.

[Brian Bates]

Did you have, like, a graphic made for this?

[Aaron Weber]

Yes.

[John Crist]

Really? Yeah. My publicist was like, send it to Lydia. Like, here's the. Here's what you need to be there. Here's what.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, that's pretty. I mean, that's awesome.

[Aaron Weber]

Dude.

[John Crist]

There were so many people involved. But I was like, if I said comedian, national comedian of the year, even though this is a Fantasy situation. She would not have believed that.

[Nate]

For you to win that.

[John Crist]

Yes, maybe.

[Dusty]

Come.

[Nate]

What did you say you were winning?

[John Crist]

Nashville Comedy Impact Award, Comedian of the Quarter.

[Nate]

Of the Quarter. That's unbelievable. Like, that is. That is like a reasonable.

[Brian Bates]

The Q3.

[Nate]

Yeah. You're like, I guess he's had a strong February. It's just like, how was it all going? Like, his April was great.

[John Crist]

Pretty solid. I haven't seen.

[Nate]

I mean, what quarter? The front quarter. The first quarter, I think.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Q2, I guess.

[John Crist]

Q1.

[Nate]

Oh, you went Q1.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So we're two Q's behind at these awards.

[John Crist]

They do them late. Yeah. She never heard of the Comedy Impact.

[Dusty]

I thought you literally met Quarter, like, the first 25 years of the. Yeah, I thought you were saying that about.

[John Crist]

Oh, 2025. Yeah, well, I've been touring that long.

[Nate]

You just meant the first quarter of 2025.

[John Crist]

January, February, March.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

And I still. Even in this fantasy world, I couldn't get on the list for that.

[Nate]

Did you tour a lot during that time?

[John Crist]

Half and half. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You've been on the road.

[Nate]

Oh, January.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Isn't there in the. In the office. It's like in. In Dwight's dream. He's like the assistant original manager.

[Brian Bates]

He runs a bed and breakfast in hell.

[John Crist]

Like, even in your fantasy.

[Brian Bates]

80 grand a year.

[Dusty]

He did. What's that Real life. That video game that was so popular where he played himself.

[John Crist]

What was it called?

[Brian Bates]

Second Life.

[Dusty]

Second Life. Yeah. He was just the same.

[John Crist]

Yeah, he was the same guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nate]

So I. I do like that Quarter.

[John Crist]

Comedian of the quarter Community.

[Nate]

The quarter Nashville. Yeah, well, Nashville, Comedy Impact. I mean, that it would be right.

[Brian Bates]

Before you came in, Nate. John was like, I'm glad Nate's not here for this part of it. He showed up right after that because.

[John Crist]

She'D be like, if I was like, as a comedian of the year, she goes, well, why wouldn't it be Nate? That would be her first question.

[Nate]

Yeah, but in Nashville.

[Dusty]

No, I'd be too small still.

[Nate]

Yeah, you would, but you would just say. You would say Nate won it last year, so.

[John Crist]

Yeah, they can't.

[Dusty]

It's like the Nashville scene.

[John Crist]

Well, she was under the impression that all the venues in town, that outback books comedy and we're going to be there. So, like the Opry, Bridgestone, the Ryman.

[Nate]

Have you even played Nashville?

[Brian Bates]

Not in a while.

[Nate]

So you haven't even.

[Aaron Weber]

So you.

[John Crist]

You're good things. You didn't ask any questions.

[Nate]

Yeah. So you've won the Comedy Impact of Nashvill not played Nashville. So what impact have you had on Nashville?

[John Crist]

Except I did the Nate Landlocke.

[Nate]

You live here? Yeah, I guess you do. Our show.

[Dusty]

Monday nights.

[John Crist]

I've been big. I'm big in the lab.

[Brian Bates]

But you had to make sure there's a lot went into this because she's a journalist.

[John Crist]

Like, she can. She can call her. Her GM and be like, hey, put her on, like, a breaking story. But there was. She would not buy that if I was like, hey, you got to go to the symphony because it's blowing up. Or I don't know how.

[Brian Bates]

They wouldn't say.

[Nate]

You wouldn't do it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Tell her there's a murder at this symphony.

[Dusty]

Yeah, that would be terrible.

[Nate]

And then she shows up. It's excited because it's a big. It's a big breaking story.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

There was a murder and earthquake at the symphony. Oh, gosh. Just at the symphony. Just at the symphony.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

All right, I'll go right there.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And then she runs in bulletproof vest on.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Run in bulletproof vest, guns drawn.

[John Crist]

Oh, this is. She's like, oh, I thought I was going to win an Emmy for this story. Yeah. Let that.

[Aaron Weber]

Hi.

[John Crist]

Yeah, there's nobody in there. Symphony playing.

[Nate]

Yeah, just the symphony.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You made the right call, Symphony player. And you have a comedy impact trophy next to you.

[John Crist]

I also thought about trying to get her in one of my videos, but then propose, like, hey, we're doing a video. Can you be in the video?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that would.

[Nate]

You know what? That's not bad. Like, if you were.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I think if you were.

[John Crist]

You got a plan?

[Dusty]

Well, she is, so I've been perfect.

[Nate]

It would have worked down to her.

[John Crist]

I would have preferred this.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Crist]

Proposals I did proposals. Be like. And then it was real. She's like, wait, is this a bit? Is this the bit? No, no, no. This is. This part's real. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That's awesome, man. Congratulations.

[John Crist]

Yeah, congratulations.

[Brian Bates]

Pictures. Look, look.

[John Crist]

Awesome.

[Dusty]

Guess that a date?

[John Crist]

No, dude, we just figured out this is last. We did go to Morgan Wallens after his bar.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

This bar.

[John Crist]

This bar.

[Nate]

What'd you do.

[John Crist]

Celebrate on the top floor?

[Nate]

Ernst is. Who was all there?

[Dusty]

Ernest.

[Nate]

Ernest.

[John Crist]

You were all there, brother.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Was he there?

[John Crist]

Wasn't there?

[Dusty]

Ernst.

[Nate]

Ernst.

[John Crist]

Yeah, we tried it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Dusty one that looks Hardy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Hardy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

What he looks like Dusty?

[Nate]

All your close friends as you all just go and go, well, we're all best buds.

[John Crist]

We're all here.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

It was unbelievable. We had to go down here. This photo right Here. We had to go down by the river.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

To get the. We got the. We got the photographer to convince us to go down to the river. And then in the back there, you can barely see it. That red on the water. That is the 47 person pontoon saloon that circled around right there. And then I go turn around. And all of her friends and family were really.

[Nate]

Oh, really on that pontoon.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And she didn't know that.

[John Crist]

No, she didn't know that. But it was. She's a little. Without her glasses, she can't see in the dark, so she couldn't see anybody.

[Brian Bates]

That makes all this a lot easier.

[John Crist]

I had to plan. Well, I was also going to do. We were laughing about this on our pod this morning. I was going to. She's a big Arkansas Razorback fan. I. I tried to get the mascot to be dancing on the side of the river while we're going up to the theme song.

[Nate]

Who didn't you call me?

[John Crist]

Yeah. There's a lot of people involved in this.

[Brian Bates]

How has this been in the works? It sounds like quite an opportunity.

[John Crist]

Four months. Yeah. I've been off work. I've been doing anything since May, so.

[Nate]

Well, and you got the Comedy impact, not Q3.

[Dusty]

Q3 is gonna be tough.

[Nate]

Q3 is gonna be Q3.

[John Crist]

Been off work. Yeah, I've been off work. You took off for like a. How long did you take off from standup after your last two weeks?

[Nate]

The last tour, technically I was. It was a year, but it's like I did clubs and stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

Who.

[John Crist]

What's everybody. Here's longest time from stand up to stand up voluntarily.

[Dusty]

Oh, okay. That's different.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Maybe a month since you started stand up. Three weeks.

[Nate]

Like even doing a show.

[John Crist]

Any. Any on stage with a microphone, doing comedy at all.

[Nate]

I don't know if it's ever been a month.

[John Crist]

Never.

[Aaron Weber]

Never. Right.

[Nate]

I've gone up and did something and yeah, I did maybe show two weeks.

[Dusty]

When my daughter was born.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I was about a little over a month when the baby was born.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Way longer than Covid. Covid was only a few weeks.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, since the Tonight Show. I didn't. I haven't done it since. Oh, really? And I'm breaking the fast tonight.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, wow.

[John Crist]

I think you're going up here. I think so. All right, I'm back.

[Dusty]

Q4 is going to be.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Put me in the running for Q4. Comedy impact.

[Dusty]

I don't even think we mentioned Dusty. Dusty is. He's doing Kill Tony He's a panelist on Kill.

[John Crist]

Oh, I gotta call him.

[Brian Bates]

Is he really?

[John Crist]

Tonight, I gotta call him. My guy.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I didn't know that either.

[Nate]

Dusty doesn't tell us much.

[Brian Bates]

He doesn't?

[Aaron Weber]

No.

[Brian Bates]

See, it's like. It's like I'm like you.

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

See where you see?

[Brian Bates]

How'd you find out? You just talking to him?

[Dusty]

Dusty, just tell me.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

That have been nice. Nice. Sent a little text.

[John Crist]

You can do both, can't you? I guess you got to go down there. Yeah. It's on Monday.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Crist]

It's the same. It's similar. Similar podcast.

[Dusty]

So as to this one.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Aaron threw out a first pitch in Arkansas. Almost fell. Had a bunch of kids. You throw up. First pitch, Baltimore.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

How'd it go?

[Nate]

Good. I hit the. I bounce. There was a little bounce, but it was a sinker. And I think you would have swung at it. You would have swung at it. That's what I started telling. I told. I said that night on stage, anybody that comes up and they go, how was your first pitch? I just got go. You would have swung.

[Brian Bates]

You would have swung.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

No matter who they are, it's a regular person. Person you don't even know. Let me tell you what you would have swung.

[John Crist]

Do the sinker. That grip with that ball.

[Brian Bates]

How you hold that sinker.

[Nate]

Well, I don't. I do it more of a visual. Not traditional.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

One eye closed.

[Nate]

It was right over the. It was right over the plate.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, that's good.

[Nate]

And then it was. I'm at a show. We went over there. It was pretty cool. I mean, we went back there. There met, you know, got to. I mean, I have always liked the Orioles. I like. I just like their uniforms. I love the Camden Yard.

[John Crist]

Sweet.

[Nate]

And so it was fun. I mean, they. So I went out and did that and went and did a show, and yeah, I think they're figuring out, like, I kind of like this idea when they're. If it's real near the place. When it's like, right before the show, you're like, that's kind of fun because you just get to kind of run in and do it and then go. But, yeah.

[John Crist]

You ever done something promotional that you're like, this isn't gonna help that. You know, if it's like. If you're trying to sell to, like, you're probably. But you're like, you always go to the morning radio, or you're like, there's no way someone's listening to this yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That's gonna buy tickets and then it's.

[John Crist]

Coming to the thing.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

The Orioles. That's different because you're playing and they're already at the game. So that's not to promote the show.

[Nate]

No, it's not to promote the show. It's like, they're.

[John Crist]

It's.

[Nate]

But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

When you do morning radio.

[Nate]

Yeah. There's a lot of times when you do stuff that you're like, no one's gonna listen to this. I've done one. I remember doing a. I think I've talked about St. Louis. I did a guy's live stream show, and there's one person watching it, and it was me on my phone in the room. So, yeah, I didn't think that was gonna move tickets. When I go, let me see how this looks.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Nate]

One viewer.

[Dusty]

Oh, is that when I was with you?

[Nate]

Maybe we did.

[Dusty]

I went with you once in St. Louis to. We sat there a while.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

With the other guy from that movie, Blazing Saddles.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

He was on it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

We sat there forever. And then this guy is like. There were. It was one of those where the club they in a million years should never have been like, yeah, the comic.

[Aaron Weber]

Can go, yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah.

[Nate]

But they were like, yeah, go to this. And we're like, all right. And we go. We sit there and it's like one. You're like, it's taking forever. And then I remember it had one view because I was watching it, and I was like, I'm the only one watching this.

[John Crist]

And this is like, this isn't four later. This is live. It's.

[Nate]

It's live and it's for this weekend.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. So, yeah.

[John Crist]

I like it when you do stuff. And then they're like. Like, people recognize. They see you on the street from something. Like, everybody's like, hey, we know you from. From Nateland or from the Opry or. Or. And they're like, you know me from that. You're like, what?

[Brian Bates]

That's where you found me?

[John Crist]

Wild.

[Nate]

That would be Nessen.

[John Crist]

What is that?

[Nate]

New England Sports Network. There was a sports. They did a sports comedy show once.

[John Crist]

And it was the brutal name.

[Nate]

Well, it's the name of their channel.

[Brian Bates]

Nesn.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah.

[Nate]

Yeah. I'm sorry, I don't. They probably don't say Nesson with the boys.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Nesn.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

New England Sports Network.

[Brian Bates]

It's like saying S. But happened.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I guess they don't do that, but it's. I would. I did that. And it was the only Thing I've ever done where I did not have a single human say I saw it ever.

[John Crist]

No mention on Twitter.

[Aaron Weber]

Nothing.

[Nate]

Nothing. Absolutely not. I didn't have just a single. You know, usually you're like, even comedy TV and that kind of stuff, you.

[John Crist]

Have laughs on Fox. They're like, we saw.

[Nate]

I never did that. But it was like. Did you do it?

[John Crist]

Yeah, a couple times.

[Brian Bates]

Comics Unleashed.

[Nate]

I did Comics Unleashed.

[Aaron Weber]

You did? Yeah.

[John Crist]

We gotta find that episode. Yeah, I'll look for it. Find it. What year?

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know, 2007.

[Nate]

No, no, no, no. It was later.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Nate]

I never got, I never got anything early. I got it all later and I did it. Cuz I was like, I just wanted it. Like they asked. I. The time they asked, I probably wouldn't have. I wasn't. Wasn't where I wasn't known, but I was like touring and doing enough stuff like, you know, selling some tickets and it was like, we're moving. I probably wouldn't have done it except I wanted to. Like, I was like, well, I want to feel what it feels like because it's so awkward of a show, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Did you ever get anybody never notice you from or remember you from when you opened for somebody?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

We found you a lot of Chris Rock Marin. I've had a lot of people come to shows and they tell me, I saw you open for Rocker Marin.

[Aaron Weber]

Really?

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah, Angela. Yeah, I've had a lot of that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Where people have come, that stuff, that stuff does help.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Now. Now you're out of that. Unfortunately. They were like, oh, we. Now it's. We all. We already knew about Nate from before. You're like, dude, we heard about you in like 2025. Like where were you?

[Nate]

It's good to be out.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

You know, Aaron, people think podcasting's just talking to a mic, but you know, like I do. Our brains don't shut off when we turn this mic off. Between planning episodes, researching topics, and that 3am spiral when I rethink everything I've ever said, which I do, sleep wasn't easily happening. Easily. But I knew I had to do something to help me actually wind down. And not just knock me out, but helped me wake up feeling like a functioning human because I have a three year old daughter. That's when I found Beam's Dream Powder. And let me tell you, it's changed everything. Dream is an all natural sleep blend with science backed ingredients designed to help you fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up refreshed. And unlike other sleep aids. There's no next day grogginess, just real deep sleep that helps you actually feel good in the morning. Since adding dream to my routine, I'm sleeping through the night without tossing attorney. I wake up actually refreshed, not groggy, not exhausted, just ready to take on the day. And I'm not the only one. Beam has improved over 17 and a half million nights of sleep. And 92% of users surveyed report better sleep and waking up refreshed. Plus for a limited time beam gives you is giving our listeners their best offer yet, up to 40% off. Try their best selling green powder and get up to 40% off limited time. Go to shopbeam.com nate and use code nate at checkout that shop. B-E-A-M.com nate and use code NATE for up to 40 off.

[Nate]

All right, y' all do this or no?

[Dusty]

No, we haven't done this.

[Brian Bates]

Let's get it in the comments. Let's start off with the comments.

[Nate]

Josh Clemens. I knew seven of my great grandparents. Five of them lived at least until I was in college and the final one passed shortly after my 35th birthday.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Dusty]

John, do you know any of your great grandparents?

[John Crist]

Gaga? Yeah, I knew her. That's what we called her. I don't know what her name was.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

Your great grandmother. You don't know?

[John Crist]

Yeah, no, no, we knit. That's what her name was. Going to Gaga's house.

[Dusty]

So you knew her?

[John Crist]

Yeah, kind of. But she was like 100.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Can you take take a guess on last name?

[Aaron Weber]

Maybe.

[John Crist]

It wasn't Chris. Okay. Yeah. Cuz it's on the other side.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[John Crist]

I don't even know what a real full name was.

[Dusty]

You don't know your mom's.

[John Crist]

This guy's lying.

[Nate]

You don't want to give that out. That's the answer to everything.

[Brian Bates]

That's a security question.

[John Crist]

Oh yeah, good point. No, there's no way this is true.

[Brian Bates]

Seven great grandparents I knew.

[John Crist]

I mean you have you.

[Nate]

I don't know why. This guy was three lying with the first.

[Dusty]

You thought eight out of eight. That didn't sound real. But seven out of eight, so.

[John Crist]

Well, somebody's having a kid at in their teen years.

[Dusty]

Probably back then. Yeah, everybody did.

[Brian Bates]

Of course.

[John Crist]

What do you mean back then? This guy's alive now. This guy's our age.

[Dusty]

I know that, but his great grandparents probably had kids when they were teens and they may have had kids when they were teens.

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[Dusty]

So that's how they were still around.

[Aaron Weber]

Dang.

[John Crist]

Let me think 1, 2. 1, 2. 2 and a half.

[Brian Bates]

Two and a half.

[John Crist]

Let's see my. Let's see. One, two. Yeah, there's some conflicting movies on one side of the family. I'm going to say two. Two total.

[Brian Bates]

Two's pretty good. Two's more than most people get, I think. Jeff, you want to read Jeff?

[Aaron Weber]

Jeff.

[Dusty]

Oh, Jeff Doron.

[Brian Bates]

Jeff Doron. Dorion Dwarn. My great grandmother passed away in 2011, two weeks shy of her 112th birthday.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow. Wow.

[Brian Bates]

She was born in 1899 and briefly held the title as the oldest living Canadian. She was in good health, well into her 1/ hundreds, which is the only way I would want to live to 100. She was married for nearly 40 years when her husband died. Ended up being a widow for long.

[John Crist]

Longer than she was married. Now that I believe. Yeah, that story I believe.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Man, that is wild, you know, for.

[John Crist]

Longer than you're married. It's crazy.

[Brian Bates]

What do you call somebody in their hundreds? We talked about octogenarian, was it?

[Dusty]

Centurions, Right?

[Brian Bates]

Centurion.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

I wonder how she died.

[Dusty]

Tragically.

[Brian Bates]

Skydiving accident on the treadmill.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

John, you think you'll make it? 50 year wedding anniversary.

[John Crist]

Let's see.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah. Fifty.

[Dusty]

Well, she will.

[John Crist]

Yeah, Easily.

[Dusty]

That's what I'm getting at. I'm not gonna make it to mine.

[John Crist]

50, not. Yeah, you're not gonna make it to yours for sure.

[Dusty]

We would both have to be pretty old, though.

[John Crist]

I'm doing great. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

I would say if you could rule out. Would you pay 50 grand to rule out, like, let's say the top 10 most common ways to die?

[Dusty]

50 grand.

[John Crist]

No, hold on, hold on. Would you pay 50 grand to. You eliminate one of them.

[Brian Bates]

Can you do more than one?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, so you go take like cardiac.

[John Crist]

Arrest out of it, so then you can start eating all you whatever you want. Yeah, wouldn't that be awesome?

[Brian Bates]

I like liver failure to start.

[John Crist]

You're not gonna die of liver failure. You make it, you might hit somebody in your car, drunk on the way home, but you will not. You know what I'm saying?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

If you knew cancer gone, 50 grand.

[John Crist]

No more suntan lotion.

[Brian Bates]

Giving this money to.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Oh, I don't know. Maybe the research.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Alex.

[John Crist]

You would know.

[Brian Bates]

Alex. Pin. My favorite fun fact is that my great Grandmother lived in three different centuries. Born in 1897, passed away in 2000. Thinking about how much the world changed during her lifetime always blows my mind. Love you guys. And looking forward to seeing Aaron when He comes to Albany in October. All right, see you out there, Alex. 1897 to 2000.

[Aaron Weber]

2000.

[Brian Bates]

Well, completely different world.

[Dusty]

The. The century started January 1st, 2001.

[John Crist]

So.

[Dusty]

Sorry, Alex. She was just a little short.

[John Crist]

Didn'T make it. What Was happening in 1897? A car? No, no cars.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. When was the Model T? 1908 or early 1900s. Yeah, model.

[Dusty]

I mean, electricity was just becoming a thing, I think.

[John Crist]

Dude, if I was Henry Ford, I'd be pissed.

[Brian Bates]

1908 was the model T was invented. So you know what started to see.

[John Crist]

People were walking for the entirety of human history.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

This guy invented a car. A guy invented a plane, like a year later.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

He doesn't get. Yeah, but they're just like, hey, that. Thanks for that.

[Dusty]

But I would argue Mercedes Benz should have a big argument because I think they're actually the ones that invented the car. But we all associate with Henry Ford.

[Brian Bates]

Well, he was the first guy to mass produce it to where it was the first affordable, mass produced automobile here. So, yeah, this is. This is when cars became like families could have it.

[John Crist]

You know, everything in history, it's all. You realize, everything. Unbelievable. Electricity, the light bulb, the car, the airplane, the. It was all invented within a couple hundred miles of here.

[Brian Bates]

A couple hundred years.

[John Crist]

A couple. A couple hundred miles of. It's all evented on the east coast in America.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Most. A lot of.

[John Crist]

I don't trust history books is what I'm saying.

[Nate]

Oh. Because. Well, because this was. No one was on the other side yet.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

But no, you don't think anyone in China was, like, working on this? Or in Germany.

[Brian Bates]

Gunpowder.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Who?

[Brian Bates]

China.

[John Crist]

Their history books does not say Henry Ford, I promise.

[Brian Bates]

You know, talk about the model thing.

[Nate]

I see. I bet everybody has their. It's like the winners gets to say what the.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

We get to write the history books.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

We.

[Dusty]

Yeah, we're saying they're claiming that they won.

[John Crist]

Who?

[Nate]

They're. Henry Ford one.

[John Crist]

Yeah. I'm saying in China or there's other developed countries and they were like, no, we. A couple hundred miles from here, actually. Everything.

[Nate]

Jack. Kia.

[Aaron Weber]

Jack. I don't know.

[Nate]

Yeah, it's a Chinese car.

[John Crist]

They have a lot of. Yeah, those. Sorry. Yeah.

[Nate]

What's Chinese?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

I don't know.

[John Crist]

Mitsubishi.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[John Crist]

Is it Fia.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know.

[John Crist]

Fia.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

No, I don't think so.

[Aaron Weber]

Honda. Honda.

[Nate]

Course.

[Brian Bates]

Mini coupe.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Fourth South American.

[Brian Bates]

Denise.

[Dusty]

Denise.

[John Crist]

Denise.

[Nate]

Thank you. Jeff Doran. Alex Pin. Denise D. Nice. Thank you. Nate, for shutting down the folded paper talk.

[Dusty]

All right, John, how many folds?

[John Crist]

Oh, no. I saw this clip. I saw this clip.

[Dusty]

I want to keep it going.

[Nate]

Yeah, it's not fun.

[John Crist]

Let's bring it back.

[Nate]

Matt Leroy, Am I the only One that noticed Mr. Catholic himself, the Weber Grill, was wearing a Michigan hat. Are you one of the simpletons now?

[Brian Bates]

No, no, no, no. I would never wear a Michigan hat. That was a Milwaukee brewers hat that I got when we went to the brewers game and they threw out the first pitch. And I wasn get it. Until we met the head coach and we met a lot of the players, and everybody was awesome. And I was like, I. I'll get a hat.

[Nate]

You know, you're.

[Aaron Weber]

You're.

[Nate]

That's. You're getting older, and that's the. That's the phase of getting. I would just did shows in Ohio State. It was unbelievable. It's like that I went and got the whole tour, like, I got to go on the field and just everybody that works there, you're like, yeah, you can't help but, you know, I. And people are the Michigan, obviously, the whole thing. But you're just like, I. You like. I love it. I love that they're, you know, they don't mention it. They don't call it. They call it the school up north, all that stuff. And. But it's just very fun that you're like, oh, yeah, I could see. You know, it's just funny.

[Brian Bates]

Before you go, John was saying he would never. You would never wear anything. Mets or Phillies.

[Dusty]

I won't throw out a first pitch.

[John Crist]

I would. I'd throw the first pitch for the Braves. I would never throw out the first pitch for another baseball team.

[Nate]

I understand that. I mean, I don't think I would do anything for Tennessee, like.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, right, right, right team. You actually care.

[Nate]

I'm just saying I wouldn't. If I was a Michigan fan, I wouldn't do the Ohio State. But I'm saying as you get older. Older, you just tend to, like, you.

[Brian Bates]

Lax up on that stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Like, overall, you're just kind of like, you know, I just want good games.

[Brian Bates]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

And. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But never with Michigan.

[John Crist]

What about. What about on. I think I've seen you. I could be wrong on stage doing something to the local sports team.

[Nate]

Yeah, I got it.

[John Crist]

But that's a big thing in comedy now.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. What?

[John Crist]

Wearing something of the local team on stage.

[Nate]

Comedy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

What I'm saying.

[John Crist]

I see comics doing it all the time wearing a baseball jersey of the.

[Nate]

Four Comics that can even do in a. You seen Bert do it?

[John Crist]

I think I seen Rif do it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

If you're doing the arena, like, for a sports team, they give you all that.

[Nate]

I mean, I'm not. I did it last year wearing it a lot.

[John Crist]

You did a lot?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

What, Jers?

[Nate]

Couple years.

[John Crist]

Jersey.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I never wore jersey, but I would always wear a jacket.

[Brian Bates]

He's a suk guy now.

[Nate]

Now I've been wearing little.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Not tie, but the other stuff. I think the shows are the ties. The shows are getting very big ties come. And I'm trying to show respect to the audience that comes out.

[John Crist]

I thought you're about to pull out a Rolex high level.

[Nate]

No, I was like, oh, no, it's.

[Aaron Weber]

You know.

[John Crist]

Where'd you get this idea? We've talked about this.

[Nate]

No, I just feel. I'm just telling you what I'm feeling. What I'm trying to.

[Aaron Weber]

The.

[Nate]

What I'm trying to set forward is like, you know, you want. I want people to come to shows and trust my vision and stuff. And it's like, I just want to look the part. They paid a lot of money for a ticket. I don't want to be too insane, but just a little more direct. And when you're wearing a suit, sometimes, too, it looks very nice and then becomes very less distracting because it's like you kind of forget about it and then you're just in your actual. And so that's why I decided you have.

[John Crist]

I have seen comics that. That go to suit too early.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Like a show. Like a club.

[Nate]

I've always gone up. Yeah, you go up, kind of elevate, go. Let. Let your career kind of take you up. But you should be conscious of it, and you should be. When you get to a point.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

If you get. You know, you're in theaters, I wouldn't be. You got to change it up.

[John Crist]

This is not gonna cut something.

[Dusty]

Don't worry about it.

[Brian Bates]

This is my nice shirt.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And then. I mean. Yeah, that's what I'm following on Arenas.

[John Crist]

A guy that you're like, oh, this is already going to be better.

[Brian Bates]

This is the exact outfit I would wear. I want to hear, yeah, without the hat. I would never wear a hat.

[Nate]

But that's. You probably shouldn't.

[John Crist]

I would always see.

[Nate]

Probably should. It shouldn't be like, oh, did he get the. It looks like you got clothes in, like, one of those bins where they say, drop off your old clothes.

[John Crist]

Come on. Not. But if you.

[Nate]

No, I'm joking. It looks nice.

[Brian Bates]

I get it.

[Nate]

I would say 15, 000 people are doing a show.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You could wear some, but I don't know. That's your thing. They won't get your character.

[John Crist]

We always, like. We would laugh at Derek Stroop because he'd been coming out with me for forever. And then I see him on your shows and he's wearing something nice.

[Aaron Weber]

Sir.

[Brian Bates]

I go, what?

[Nate]

Hey, yeah.

[John Crist]

Where are these outfits? Your show.

[Brian Bates]

He's dressed like a middle school offensive line coach.

[John Crist]

Yeah. And then he's got a new. He's got a new pair of shoes. He's wearing slacks I've never seen. I was.

[Nate]

He ducks them in.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Where's this?

[Nate]

Yeah, it's a. I've noticed that a little bit more. Like, it feels like we're, you know. Yeah, it's the. It's getting so big now that it's like we all need to.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Rise to the occasion.

[Nate]

Rise to the occasion.

[John Crist]

Hey, there's no more. What else is going on?

[Aaron Weber]

On.

[Nate]

Yeah, there's none of that. And you want, like, the aspect. Julian will wear it. He always wears kind of like a merch or he'll wear a shirt. He will wear stuff from the arena that we're at. And Julian. Julian is unbelievable. If you. If you come out to shows and Julian hosts the show. We started comedy together. He's been doing it for 20 years. Like, he's crazy headliner in his own right. But then what he does with these arenas, because it's so big. He does. So unbelievable. But he'll wear something that is local. So you.

[Brian Bates]

They.

[Nate]

You do get that aspect. There's ways, like we're. I'm consciously thinking of this, where we have ways to go. Like, that's fun. It's you. We want to show aspects of that. But then you also. I want these people to have the best show they could possibly have.

[Aaron Weber]

Y.

[Nate]

So then everybody goes up murders. We do the show, and then I leave happy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. You wear a hoodie.

[John Crist]

Yeah, Hoodie you can wear to a meet and greet or something like that.

[Nate]

Yeah, I have one hoodie that I can wear, but it's like. I wear. It's like now it's got nice pants and shoes. So it's like. But it's elevated. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You're trying to get it figured out, you know? Yeah, I don't want to be.

[John Crist]

This is not comedy impact Q1. That outfit. No, no.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Fair.

[Nate]

No, but you.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, but you look.

[Nate]

You'd wear that on stage.

[Brian Bates]

He's wearing Camera. He's wearing camouflage pants, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

But you wouldn't wear that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

You'd wear that.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Maybe for a matinee show.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

Something got knee braces on underneath because you're gonna go to the ground.

[John Crist]

Knee pad. No, I've been off. I've been offered. So my knees are great. Yeah, I've been good. I've been good.

[Nate]

We're going to see you walk out, and you just got. Everybody can tell you have something underneath your pants and your knees. They go, what's that? He goes, well, he's getting older.

[John Crist]

Can't fall like he used to.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

You know, Michael Jackson used to slip his feet into those little nails so he could lean forward.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

It's kind of like that.

[Dusty]

I didn't know that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Oh, sorry. I ruined it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Tyler Brooks. I'm an ophthalmomake. Well, I'm an ophthalmic. Sounds made up. I'm an ophthalmic.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that it?

[Brian Bates]

Someone with the eyes.

[John Crist]

None of us. None of us had a correction for it.

[Nate]

So we're like, specialist. And I will say, to Nate's defense, 2015 is definitely more rare, and I don't see it as often. But also, when your doctor technician told you that he only seen two people with that reading, I'm almost positive he said that to make you feel good. I've told patients the same thing. Same thing to make them feel good, too. So I'm almost sure of it. All right, that's good to know. But that is. You know what that was.

[Aaron Weber]

Right. Okay.

[John Crist]

Think about it.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know.

[Nate]

Right. 2015.

[Brian Bates]

You sound like you're about to offer a rebuttal. You didn't say anything. You go, all right, but, you know. You know.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Bailed on it.

[John Crist]

The. The girl that took our engagement photos said these are the best engagement photos she's ever seen. That's a lie. Probably.

[Brian Bates]

She just started. Just started working.

[John Crist]

Yeah, that's like that. They were really good pictures.

[Nate]

No, I bet they are.

[Brian Bates]

I bet they are.

[Nate]

They're your. The pictures look unbelievable.

[John Crist]

But she would say that to everybody.

[Nate]

I'm sure she does. But your pictures are good, so then she could just say it.

[Brian Bates]

You know, you write a new joke, you think, this is the best joke I've ever written, and because it's new to you, it's.

[Nate]

She was probably happy to know because she was coming to film, photograph the impact. And then she goes, oh, this is different. Much better than they. Yeah, this is a much better.

[John Crist]

Well, you don't.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

You don't say, philly, this has been unbelievable. You're the third best show of the weekend. You would say this is the best show of the week of the tour.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Right? Yeah.

[Nate]

But, I mean, a lot of times they can all be the great. That great of a show.

[John Crist]

The next newest one can be the best one.

[Nate]

It really can. I mean, last night. I mean, we had the Sunday show. Last night was unbelievable. And then the Saturday show was unbelievable. So it's a. They're all.

[Brian Bates]

I let them know if it's the worst show of the weekend.

[Aaron Weber]

I let them know. Yeah, you have to.

[Brian Bates]

Just so y' all know, all the other shows are better than this.

[John Crist]

Blame the crowd.

[Brian Bates]

No, just once. Usually once a week.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Late shows.

[Nate]

You tell them all.

[Dusty]

Every show, everyone gets worse. I. I need to apologize. Like, last show, you guys are now the worst.

[Nate]

No, yours is. I was the worst. I was the worst on that one. I was the least worst on that one. Those people should be happy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Linda Hummel. Like, Nate, I've ordered number one at McDonald's my whole life. At my local Baltimore McDonald's. Today, there was a sign that. There was a sign at the drive through that said, the customers need to be aware the mills have changed numbers. I thought immediately of Nate.

[Aaron Weber]

Yep.

[Nate]

I know. I don't like that.

[Brian Bates]

They must have kept number one, though.

[John Crist]

You can't change.

[Nate]

It would be. It'd be pretty frustrating if you change number one. That's the thing. I don't even. I mean, it gets blurry past that.

[Aaron Weber]

That.

[Nate]

But I would think they've changed, you.

[John Crist]

Know, I go, dude, I go into a breakfast restaurant every. You can ask Derek. I go, I'll ask.

[Nate]

I don't believe you.

[John Crist]

I go, let me get. Let me get a number one. There isn't even numbers, but, like, the breakfast. It's like two eggs, toast. I go, let me get the main one.

[Brian Bates]

Whatever your all Star special is, let.

[John Crist]

Me get the number one.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Yeah.

[John Crist]

I think Taco Bell used to. My meal was a number seven. And now. That's what switched McDonald's.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Do you know. Do you remember any, like. Any specific numbers, like, TV channels?

[Brian Bates]

I remember TBS was seven.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Nickelodeon was 22. Disney channels 25.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah. What is it now?

[Brian Bates]

27 for me.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

I was 206. Was ESPN growing up with DirecTV 2 and 331.

[Brian Bates]

You were in the hundreds.

[John Crist]

MTV was 331.

[Aaron Weber]

Whoa.

[John Crist]

Yeah. I mean, this is like, in High school. In high school, when DirecTV came out, we didn't have TV growing up.

[Nate]

But then you got rich.

[John Crist]

Well, my parents, you know, some things happen.

[Nate]

I mean, that's money right there.

[John Crist]

We came into it.

[Brian Bates]

You go from zero channels to hundreds.

[John Crist]

Yeah, we went straight to the top flat screen, too. That was unheard of.

[Nate]

Y' all were just saving up the whole time.

[John Crist]

We were 209. Let's see.

[Nate]

Yeah, you're doing DirecTV. There's still those channels, but now I.

[John Crist]

Don'T know any channels.

[Nate]

I know, but DirecTV is the exact same.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Oh, it is.

[Nate]

Yeah. I have Direct tv. It's. I've had direct TV for a long time, too.

[John Crist]

Do you know your. Any of your high school buddies, phone numbers?

[Nate]

I do, Yeah. I got my buddy Kevin Morrow.

[John Crist]

And it's probably the same number, so you shouldn't say it.

[Nate]

Yeah, no, he still has the same number. He's the only number that I. Yeah, that. Him and my dad.

[John Crist]

I remember my dad's number. You know your wife's number?

[Nate]

Oh, my wife's Lars.

[Aaron Weber]

I know.

[Nate]

Yeah, she's had the same name.

[Brian Bates]

Barely. Yeah, that's. That might be the only one I know.

[John Crist]

The only phone number you know, other than my own. Yeah, I know.

[Dusty]

My mom's.

[Brian Bates]

In my childhood. I remember my kindergarten class in alphabetical order.

[John Crist]

All right, well, that's. You talk to somebody about that.

[Nate]

That's a lot.

[John Crist]

Yeah, I mean, that's. You should see somebody about that.

[Brian Bates]

Melissa Lee, Will, Lauren, Josh, Ashton, Zachary, Joseph, Nancy, Connor, Cooper, Sean, Juliana, Jessica, Aaron, Skyler.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I didn't.

[Nate]

I didn't care for it.

[Aaron Weber]

Even after you did it.

[John Crist]

My word.

[Nate]

What if she said no? Dude, what if you're. What if Lydia said no?

[John Crist]

Well, I was. I was. I was doing the numbers in my head. I go, well, this is a question. It's not a. Yeah, you do ask. That's why you get to ask.

[Nate]

Would you have just sat and had the symphony play, like, sad songs?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Probably would have gone into Braveheart.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Should have walked out.

[Nate]

You could have had fun with it. You go, can y' all do Star wars now?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And they're like, see something?

[Dusty]

Did you go meet with her dad? Dad had a time.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Did you do it the same way.

[Brian Bates]

That Waffle House invited him to a fake award show?

[Dusty]

Arkansas, second quarter.

[John Crist]

Get you sales? Sales award. No, I. Yeah, I. I was like. I'm pretty sure. I mean, I'm 99. Sure. But it is. Yeah. Has anyone ever said no? There is those on.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Yeah. It shows up on Instagram.

[Brian Bates]

Sure. Yeah.

[Nate]

I think when they say no, it's usually, you know, they could tell like it's you kind of.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

I like to. If you go, what if you had the most. It was a devastating. A devastating. No, but this video was so unbelievable when you post it that it's worth it.

[Nate]

Yeah, well, you might have to, because you got to try to move on.

[Dusty]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You got to post it as a retribute.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Do you think ever, like growing up in the 80s 90s, every. There's so many TV shows and movies where there at the altar, speak now, forever hold your peace. Someone speaks up or the bride says, I'm sorry, I can't do this. And do you think there's ever been a wedding where that's actually happened?

[Brian Bates]

It must be. It must have happened.

[John Crist]

That's why they did it.

[Aaron Weber]

Right? Yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

But if somebody said speak now, why would they be there?

[Dusty]

They did Superman movies and I don't think that really happened.

[Nate]

Yeah, but I mean, I think that's happened and I bet it happened a lot. I bet it's an old timey thing that probably happened a lot more were I would say maybe now it doesn't happen.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It became a formality now.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

I would love. I would love an email from somebody that said they were at one and somebody said, I don't think, though, this guy's unemployed, he's faking that he has a job or what would they say? Something like that.

[Nate]

Or if they were in love with them or something or.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah, this guy's lying. He's not a Razorback fan.

[Brian Bates]

Greensboro Comedy Zone years ago, opened for Jay Bliss. I was featuring and I, I bombed.

[John Crist]

Bombed.

[Brian Bates]

Set was horrible. And I get off stage and then a guy, they bring a guy on stage to propose to a SC right after my set, before the headliner, after I bomb for 20 minutes.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It's not even like a fun energy in the room. And he proposes to her. He gets down on a knee and it takes a while for her to say yeah. And the crowd starts chanting, say yes, say yes. So she did, but it did not feel good.

[Nate]

I don't know how you don't just say yes and then, yeah, we'll sort it out later.

[John Crist]

Yes.

[Nate]

Yeah. Like, that's enough. It'd be enough that you should be like, you don't need to marry her if she does that. Like, if you can't logically in that moment just go say yes. And then once you get off. Go. You're out of your mind.

[John Crist]

No, absolutely.

[Brian Bates]

But save us both the embarrassment of this.

[Dusty]

She might have just been overwhelmed with the moment.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I think she was very surprised by it especially because it wasn't like it was a fun night up until then.

[Dusty]

But it could have been a. It could have been a pleasant.

[Nate]

She had to come sit up in Aaron's bomb. Yeah, like, who wants that?

[Brian Bates]

I go, it doesn't feel good up there, does it?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I mean that's just brutal. Like to get.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Did you invite him?

[Brian Bates]

No, the host did.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Guy by the name of the Bad.

[Nate]

You think Jay asked that to happen just to get your energy off stage. He goes, gas. Let someone ask if they want to get married. They go, well, it might not work out. Well, it's better than what Aaron did.

[Dusty]

Kids, I'll pay for the ring.

[John Crist]

You know, the next week at least.

[Nate]

Something worth to follow.

[John Crist]

They have two people in the kitchen that do that. Hey, go to the proposal thing. Reset the room. I try, I do try to. After everything we tried to. I do try to do kind things for other people that if I could be involved in theirs because I know how like if somebody's like, hey, it's our whatever. We're coming to your show. You, we met at your show. Can we. I. I would try my. Now I'd. I would not do somebody propose on stage.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

It's probably annoying for everyone else, but if I could send like a video or like yeah, sure. Make. Give a guy somebody a mean greet to make him look because I know how much it meant the other way now.

[Nate]

I know I would hope that they don't need you to get that. Yes. To go.

[John Crist]

Oh yeah.

[Nate]

If you're on the fence, call me John. Chris.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I'll make a video. I'll get her over the edge.

[John Crist]

I'll make her better.

[Dusty]

Call Chris.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

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[John Crist]

We were on the ranch for five days, brother, out there in Montana.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Nate]

It was out there.

[John Crist]

Me and Lydia.

[Nate]

And you. You know how to ride horses?

[John Crist]

Clearly, dude. Look at that.

[Nate]

I don't know. Did you just learn or.

[John Crist]

This is a cattle drive. They only take expert horse ride. That's Lydia right there.

[Nate]

But I mean, did you know how before?

[Dusty]

There's a video of him learning.

[John Crist]

Oh, no, I. Yeah, I knew how to.

[Nate]

You feel pretty comfortable now riding horses?

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is me getting on.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Don't you own a horse?

[John Crist]

I do own a horse, yeah. Ronald, I bought him at an Amish horse auction last year in Shipshew on Indiana.

[Nate]

And how's Ronald that?

[Aaron Weber]

He's.

[John Crist]

Well, we haven't heard from him in a while. Apparently everybody else, there was a big auction. Everybody was like, bidding. Oh, let me get that. And then nobody was bidding on this horse. Like, source looks unbelievable big. And all the local farmers were like. Like, they must have seen something I didn't see.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I was wearing a cast.

[John Crist]

We had to get all these horses. We had to get all these cattle to the other end of the pasture. But again, this is like a five star resort. And I go, oh, I think they just made this up.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah. So these guys get you to pay them to do their job for them.

[John Crist]

But I think the one girl could have done it herself, the professional.

[Nate]

I'm sure she was like, it's more of a hassle.

[John Crist]

Yeah, totally paid a lot.

[Brian Bates]

Kind of in the way they were.

[John Crist]

Like, dude, do you want to do the cattle drive?

[Nate]

Is it just y' all two, or is it there's.

[John Crist]

There's see another person out there.

[Nate]

I know, but is it. Are they with the hotel or is it like.

[John Crist]

Yeah, everybody's with the resort. You know how, like Yellowstone.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, we.

[John Crist]

We are the enemy because they're like, we need to build resorts. Yeah. And I think we put them in business. I felt bad about it, but they were like, we got to get these cattle down to the river.

[Dusty]

Like, how far did you take them?

[John Crist]

I don't know enough.

[Nate]

You said, I'm done.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And then they go, we'll take it from there.

[Nate]

I think I'm good. Yeah, that sounds about right.

[John Crist]

Let's stop here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's the. He was teaching me how to get off a horse. This is me getting off a horse.

[Nate]

You couldn't be sitting more into that horse.

[John Crist]

What do you mean?

[Nate]

You're just like. Yeah, I mean, like, the horse feels it.

[John Crist]

Oh, your daughter rides horses. You know, this is not a good. This is not good.

[Nate]

It's fun thing. Want you to go down.

[Dusty]

Imagine just come on down. Come on, buddy. You can do it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

Boom, boom.

[John Crist]

The horse. Yeah. He appreciate.

[Brian Bates]

So we have an expert on cowboys at the table with us. This is the point.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

So, John, you can. If any of this is not correct, you can let us know.

[John Crist]

All right.

[Dusty]

All right. Cowboys. They started in Spain, 1800s, then moved to Mexico, then up to the southwest United States.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I mean, are they, like.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Were they, like, a group? What do you mean? They started.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Well, okay.

[Brian Bates]

What is a cowboy?

[Aaron Weber]

All right.

[Dusty]

That's a great question, Aaron.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Kidding.

[Dusty]

Cowboy is an animal herder who tends cattle or ranches in North America traditionally on horseback. Originally, they were more like shepherds, so pretty much, I'm.

[John Crist]

I'm this.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Y.

[Dusty]

At first they were like shepherds, and then they started learning that riding horses can.

[Nate]

Which.

[John Crist]

Where do we know of shepherds? From birth of Jesus. So pretty much same thing.

[Aaron Weber]

Yep.

[Dusty]

And they originally called cowhands or cow pokes, and then cow pokes.

[John Crist]

I've heard that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty]

Buckaroo, California, they call them buckaroos. And you would think Texas would be cowboys, but cow puncher is what this says. Now, a wrangler. Do you know what a wrangler is, John?

[Brian Bates]

The jeans?

[John Crist]

I was doing a little bit of that also.

[Dusty]

So that's just someone who tends to.

[Brian Bates]

The horses with the lassos.

[John Crist]

Oh. Without going out and getting them. When the horses are done doing the work, he takes them on.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

He's focused more on the horses than the saddle.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

He's the caretaker of the horses course.

[Dusty]

And then the term cowboy became just more of a Coming during Tombstone in the late 1800s, they were like outlaws. They call themselves. They're like a gang.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Call themselves and it became like a romantic thing to be.

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[Dusty]

Once movies and TV shows started making, then it became very romantic because I think I like.

[Brian Bates]

I remember wanting to be a cowboy when I was a kid.

[John Crist]

I think everybody did Cowboys and Indians. Oh, yeah, we used to play.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Crist]

How did that game go? I think the cowboys would.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, I can't.

[John Crist]

I don't remember, actually. I don't remember how the game went, now that I think about it. I think they all met to.

[Nate]

But I think one somewhere. One would be one, and one would be the other.

[John Crist]

Yeah, they were really the.

[Aaron Weber]

The.

[Nate]

It was.

[John Crist]

The titles were Loose sides.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

It was a competition.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I think people were just excited to be the Indians cowboys.

[John Crist]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And so you would just, like, fight.

[Dusty]

Henry Cho, as a joke, says he was always the cook.

[John Crist]

In Cowboys and Indians.

[Brian Bates]

That's what his first Tonight show said. Y' all remember playing army as a kid? I pretty much hated that game.

[Dusty]

It was the neighborhood against me. After the Civil War, about a fourth of cowboys were former slaves that went out west and already had some skill sets that helped them and they became cowboys. Did you do any branding while you were there, John?

[John Crist]

No, I tried to get my logo on one of them.

[Brian Bates]

Horse.

[John Crist]

Well, the horse. Okay, so the logo.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

J.C. yeah. Well, you know, I can brand. I like in Yellowstone. They get one on their chest. Chest.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

I haven't watched Yellowstone, but.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Yeah, but the horse can. You know, if you get a brand and then you're. You get traded to a new, you know, a new ranch.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

They rebrand you.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

So a couple of those horses had, like, three brands on them.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

It's kind of like a Carfax.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Well, once they. This is back in. Before there was like, fences and stuff like that. So they're all open range, so they had to start branding them so you could identify cattle.

[John Crist]

I'm talking about.

[Nate]

Fences weren't invented in.

[Dusty]

Not barbed wire came later.

[Nate]

I know, but just a. Yeah, just.

[Dusty]

I think when you got thousands of miles of.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Of.

[Dusty]

Or not thousands of miles, but thousands of acres at least.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

That's a big fit.

[Nate]

I can see that.

[Brian Bates]

It's expensive, too.

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[John Crist]

And they. And they wouldn't. They don't really go. They don't try to escape. There's nowhere to escape to. They just want to eat. So wherever the food is, they just go. So everybody's like, hey, that. Those are ours. And they're like, all right. Yes, in the back. Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Crist]

That's what we were doing pretty much.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I remember in high school, buddy of mine got. He, he branded himself with a coat hanger.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

He tried to do that.

[Brian Bates]

Try to do the like the Tennessee logo with a coat hanger on his arm. It looked.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Awful. Dude.

[Brian Bates]

You couldn't even tell it was the thing.

[John Crist]

He heated it up.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, heated it up to put it in the fire and put it on.

[Nate]

Someone we tried to do it with. I had a buddy that tried to do it.

[Brian Bates]

And it was what of anything in particular or just like a shape across?

[Nate]

Yeah, I think it was like the beginning of a letter or something and then it just. It was hur. Then it's. We only got the top and it just messed his body up for the rest of his life. Like it's crazy. So dumb. And then you're like. You can see it to this day.

[John Crist]

Oh, where is it on him shoulder?

[Brian Bates]

This was just on his arm.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

That's just so.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, he like, dude and I could have been easily peer pressured into doing.

[Nate]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean. Yeah.

[Nate]

And you just have. You just have it there for the rest of your life.

[John Crist]

But if so somebody. Would you would you. Would you.

[Aaron Weber]

Would.

[John Crist]

Somebody would hold you down or would you like to up. Up. If somebody's like.

[Brian Bates]

I think you just sit there and you just wait there and.

[John Crist]

No, no, nobody can do that.

[Brian Bates]

Well, you're a coward if you don't.

[John Crist]

That's how you do it.

[Aaron Weber]

There you go. What are you.

[John Crist]

It's your initiation.

[Brian Bates]

What are you not our friend?

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty]

Fraternities do that.

[John Crist]

Yeah, Mine didn't, but yeah.

[Dusty]

So the whole purpose of even being a.

[Nate]

You have a logo, but you're fraternity.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty]

What's your logo?

[John Crist]

No, it's just my hair.

[Aaron Weber]

Hair. You know.

[Nate]

Oh, actually don't.

[John Crist]

I used to have a logo. I don't have a hair. I don't have a logo anymore, but I remember.

[Nate]

Oh, your hair. Logo.

[John Crist]

Spiky Hair used to have a logo. Yeah. There.

[Nate]

Yes. Look at that. That's how they know what they're seeing.

[John Crist]

That's tough, dude.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

That was a rebrand.

[Brian Bates]

Dude.

[Nate]

Eyebrows. Unbelievable. That's how they. We're going to see John Crist. Oh, is he the one that's known about his hair?

[John Crist]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Somehow this whole act about his hair and eyebrows.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no, no, no.

[Nate]

He doesn't mention that at all.

[John Crist]

Somehow I, I outgrew the logo, but I still have the same haircut. He doesn't look like that anymore. No, no, no, he still looks like that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Switched the Logo.

[Dusty]

Unless he's switching periodically to a Amish cat.

[John Crist]

That's a good looking logo. Tell me that's not a good comedy logo.

[Brian Bates]

It's good.

[Nate]

I don't understand why your eyebrows are being shown. I guess just sort of context.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah, context.

[Nate]

Like so your eyebrows are literally. So people don't go, what is going.

[Brian Bates]

So they know that it's where this.

[Nate]

Why would you not do your eyes?

[John Crist]

Yeah, not that. Cut the eyes on time. I think we. I think we paid an agency, like thousands of dollars for this, I believe.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

You're like, hey, this is what they came up with.

[Nate]

And they just know.

[Dusty]

You're like, I love it.

[Nate]

You go, you're black. You know, let's. We can do a black and white picture of the most common male haircut on earth.

[John Crist]

Send it, man. The same people do in Cracker Barrel now.

[Nate]

Yeah, that was the same.

[Aaron Weber]

Same.

[John Crist]

Same age.

[Nate]

You had to get rebranded, like, right.

[Aaron Weber]

Yes.

[John Crist]

Hey, I got a good plan. Let's go with the hair. What would you do?

[Dusty]

Not the hair.

[Nate]

His logo.

[John Crist]

What would your logo be? Everybody has an icon.

[Nate]

Bates, you should have a logo.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I would like you to have one. A car.

[Dusty]

A car.

[Nate]

It's easier to drive to her. Yeah, it could be.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

It'd be fun.

[Dusty]

Just looking frazzled.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Worried. No, his would be worried. It'd be a worried face.

[Brian Bates]

Just a guy who looks worried.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Backed in the corner.

[John Crist]

This. It's the emoji.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Is the emoji. Is there emoji for worried?

[John Crist]

Yeah, that's what Emoji.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

That's not worried.

[Aaron Weber]

A.

[John Crist]

That. A worried emoji.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

His would have to be a worry.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

That one.

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah. That would be his.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I mean, that's almost. He's got it all.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

So he's got it. Worried face.

[John Crist]

Coming to that. I'd go to that tour.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

I hope you do. Because he's worried. Ain't nobody showing up.

[John Crist]

I'd go that tour.

[Nate]

That's a good one.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

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[Dusty]

All right, let's talk about some cowboy attire.

[Nate]

John, tell me you're wearing it all.

[John Crist]

Well, you can't wear. You gotta wear chaps.

[Dusty]

Okay. Do you know why?

[John Crist]

Just because, you know, getting on and off the horse and, you know, cutting animals out of fences and going down to the, you know, freedom, you know.

[Brian Bates]

Like, is it like an apron for your pants? Is that what a chaps are? Do they serve some other people?

[John Crist]

We used to go to this. I used to open for this Thunder down under, the show in Vegas and they would wear those.

[Brian Bates]

What used to open for it?

[John Crist]

Yeah, comedy.

[Aaron Weber]

What?

[John Crist]

What?

[Dusty]

What's Thunder down Under?

[Nate]

When did you do that?

[Brian Bates]

It's like a magic mic show.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Are you serious?

[Nate]

Why did you open for me?

[John Crist]

Just scheduling wise. It was in the theater before I. It was.

[Nate]

I what?

[John Crist]

Look up Thunder Down Under.

[Nate]

No, we.

[John Crist]

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Brian Bates]

Don't show it if it's crazy.

[John Crist]

It was. There they go. The John Crist. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

A popular interactive mail review show.

[John Crist]

Yeah. John's show was interviewed in. It was like advertised in the Thunder down under theater. Where is it? It's in the Thunder down under theater. But the seats.

[Nate]

You didn't open for them?

[John Crist]

No, no, my show was before there.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah. I don't know.

[John Crist]

You said you opened for them. No, I said my show was.

[Nate]

No, you did. You go, I opened.

[Brian Bates]

You were on the road with them for years.

[John Crist]

But the. I was like, why are the. Like, the table.

[Nate]

I opened for the Boston Red Sox. I'll say whatever we want. I mean, now it doesn't even matter.

[John Crist]

I was before them at a different venue.

[Nate]

I'm being Chicago soon. I'm gonn follow the Michael Jordan's Dynasty team that he did.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

It's two years behind, but he's opening for me. No, but all the tables were, like. You know how, like, the tables at Zany's. All the tables are, like, reinforced.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, because they're gonna walk on them.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was like, why are these tables, like, like, bolted down? And they're like, oh, well, because I wanted to move them. Because I don't think at the time I was selling the tickets.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

That the Thunder down under were selling. And probably still not now, but did.

[Dusty]

You stick around a while, Watch with.

[John Crist]

The same dressing room? That is true. I was like, there's a bunch of, like, lassos and trampolines back there. And I was like, what trampoline? There's a lot going on.

[Nate]

He goes, I mean, I don't know.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Ego. I didn't know what was happening.

[John Crist]

They're wearing chaps, though.

[Nate]

No one thinks you're gonna go.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Once you said lasso. No one. No one had trampoline on their bingo.

[John Crist]

Card for the next thing. They were nice guys, though. Real nice guys.

[Nate]

Joey McColl's got a very funny joke about. About them.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

The Chippendales at the Excalibur Hotel. Thank you. It's still there. That is wild that it's still there.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I think it's still probably a big draw.

[John Crist]

It's the same theater. That's exactly where it was.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Also, do you wish.

[Nate]

But, like, did you get on one of those tables and, like, would you like it? You might like that.

[John Crist]

I want to camp.

[Nate]

That's in the ground around.

[John Crist]

Yeah, I was. Dude, I was thinking about for my tour. I don't want to ruin it, but a. A stool that is. I kick it, and it smashes into, like, 50 pieces. Wouldn't that be awesome?

[Brian Bates]

Like, some of that fake furniture made.

[John Crist]

For, like, it's all, like, put together, and I go. I'd, like lean on it and just go pretend.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, like a Pratt fall.

[John Crist]

Yeah, you said kick it.

[Nate]

Oh, like, you wanna. Oh, you want a Pratt fall. You want to fall down on it?

[John Crist]

And then every. Yeah. And then it would be everybody Be.

[Nate]

Like, what are we watching, dude? Yeah, this blows my mind. I think that would give them more direction than they have now.

[John Crist]

What are we watching? Yeah, Good memories back at the Excalibur.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Come a long way. I'm going. I'll be in Vegas next week. Not at the Excalibur. Yeah, I'm going to the same theater.

[Nate]

Win.

[Brian Bates]

Doing the win.

[Nate]

Win's great.

[Brian Bates]

That's awesome.

[John Crist]

Yeah, I'll be there next weekend. I'm going to go over to the Excalibur just to see what the guys are doing.

[Brian Bates]

Come down, see what the boys are up to.

[John Crist]

It's probably new, guys.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Fly down to the wind.

[John Crist]

I would think so.

[Nate]

Hang out.

[John Crist]

You should come down there.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know.

[John Crist]

Can I get the same that we.

[Nate]

Can get a table for you.

[John Crist]

I was about to say I didn't want to a chair.

[Nate]

What would you do? Would you set it? How quick would you have to pr.

[John Crist]

Fall? Well, I was thinking like coming out like one time if I was like. If I had like doves that like flew down from the balcony that like landed on my shoulder. Yeah, that'd be awesome.

[Brian Bates]

You're joking around, but this is, this, this is the stuff you used to do.

[John Crist]

I know, dude. I'm trying to bring it back.

[Nate]

Yeah, I think it's good.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

If you do it, I'm not against it. I'm for you. Like I think I am for it for you. But I want to be. I just want people to know this is how hard it is to write a joke. And I need all the stand up comics that when they, when they see all this stuff in the younger generation, these guys, it's very hard to write a joke.

[John Crist]

It's hard to write jokes. I'd call up every pigeon salesman in the southeast before I would. I could just write. My dad can probably help you out.

[Brian Bates]

No, he's definitely got a pigeon guy.

[John Crist]

I do remember we have the same agent. I do remember I said I want to have Pyro in the show. And he said, that's for comics who can't write jokes.

[Aaron Weber]

Jokes.

[John Crist]

And I go, okay, no problem.

[Brian Bates]

His dad said that?

[John Crist]

No, our agent said that. And I go, well, fair.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

I think that's why I cut everything. I still have the face paint in my pocket in case if it's bombing.

[Nate]

But I did see if you did like a circus Olay type show. Yeah, like that's what I mean with pigeon. I'm being serious about it. Like if you, if you had the pigeons, you had that if you, if you really were like in this, like, kind of themed. I went kind of thing. I. I could, I could. That would make sense. I mean, if you go do that, you're very physical and just one.

[John Crist]

I'm standing right here. And then as soon as I move a sword comes from into the stage.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Like, how did they. But it's comedy.

[Nate]

But yeah, you gotta address it all.

[John Crist]

So, yeah, it's all worked into the show.

[Nate]

And then what are you gonna do? Just do, stand up next to this sword the whole time?

[John Crist]

Well, I didn't. I didn't quite get the idea worked out.

[Brian Bates]

We haven' gonna flesh it out too.

[John Crist]

I was gonna go do something where I was talking and then I was. Dude. But I was mouthing the words and they didn't know it. And then I moved the mic and then I closed my mouth and it's still talking.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And they were like.

[Nate]

And they're like, what is. And so what's this? So then the joke is like, well.

[John Crist]

You just figure out the punchline. We just want to be like, amaze people.

[Nate]

Well, that's got to be the punchline. I don't think it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

I don't think you get another punchline. I think the punchline is that.

[John Crist]

And then you step out of the way.

[Dusty]

It's kind like a magic trick.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Nate]

They go, I thought he was telling that bad joke, but it's. He wasn't. It was someone else.

[John Crist]

Somebody else. Well, if you go, I want to make it. Like, if I had. You ever had that audio that it's like thinking, keep looking.

[Dusty]

Is this something?

[John Crist]

No, I'm just thinking of your head because the audio was thinking like, if I go, I come out on stage, I'm not talking, but I'm doing audio in my head.

[Aaron Weber]

Head.

[John Crist]

I'm like, look at that guy in the blue shirt.

[Nate]

Oh, yeah.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah, actually. But I, I do it live.

[Brian Bates]

Like a really well orchestrated.

[John Crist]

I have to do it 10 minutes before the show.

[Aaron Weber]

And.

[John Crist]

And like, look at that guy. I can't believe he's in the second row wearing that outfit.

[Nate]

Like, so here's what I would say with that. I don't know, you might need to be the voice or do you want to be the person you would need someone.

[John Crist]

It's both.

[Brian Bates]

It's like his thoughts and.

[Nate]

But so you're gonna have to pre record it.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah. But it has to be like five minutes before the show. But I'll be like, tough.

[Nate]

I would think you could go. So you could. You could send Someone out there that's maybe very funny physically. And then you go, hey, I want to just. I'm going to roast the crowd or whatever, and I want you to.

[John Crist]

And then you got. But you got that guy for 500 bucks a night for your whole tour, and he's on your bus, and he's just the goofy guy that has to go sit in the crowd, and then you lose a seat to sell.

[Nate]

Wait, you. I mean, I don't even. The world that you're on is another place planet. It is insane.

[John Crist]

Well, hey, the show.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait.

[Nate]

With the guy.

[John Crist]

I haven't done all these things.

[Nate]

You're saying, bring a guy. You need to bring a guy. Yeah, okay.

[John Crist]

Bring a guy on the road, and he's the guy wearing the goofy hat sitting there. And I'm like, what? And then he's like, I work in maintenance. And then we have a whole thing.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And I got to bring this guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

For the whole tour.

[Nate]

Yes.

[John Crist]

Cuz I do sometimes I talk to the crowd.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And then everybody's like, that was so.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm.

[John Crist]

That was so unbelievable. I can't believe that happened. Is that real?

[Nate]

Unbelievable?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

I'm like, that. I didn't. I don't know this person.

[Aaron Weber]

Right. Yeah.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Nate]

How did you come up with a divorce joke?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

What are the odds.

[Nate]

What are the odds that you knew this person worked at a facility?

[John Crist]

This guy. This is unbelievable.

[Nate]

Just make that up.

[John Crist]

How did he have a baby? He brought a baby.

[Nate]

He had a. You're telling me that guy had two babies? You had some for them?

[Aaron Weber]

That.

[Nate]

That's what you're telling me?

[John Crist]

This guy's a genius.

[Brian Bates]

We'll do it tonight. We'll try it tonight.

[John Crist]

But if you.

[Dusty]

If you took a guy with you every. It would. The word would get out quickly, right?

[John Crist]

Pretty quick. He's a pretty dude. I'm not gonna. I'm not mentioning the comic's name, but I saw this at Zany's where he goes. He would. Like, the. The closer would. I think you know who I'm talking about. He would look at women's purses. He goes, give me that thing. And he would look through it. And the first two were like, you know, they have like, whatever. And then the third one was.

[Aaron Weber]

Was.

[John Crist]

He's like, give me that one. And the. And he. And he pulled unbelievable stuff out of it. There would never be in a purse. And you're like. I mean, the crowd was on the roof. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And then the late show, the same.

[Brian Bates]

Thing, the same purse was a Purse.

[Nate]

But it was on.

[John Crist]

But it, but it was unbelievable. I was like, this is the best thing.

[Nate]

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a. It's an act, it's a show.

[John Crist]

It's a show. It took a lot of.

[Aaron Weber]

Of.

[John Crist]

I mean, he was pulling stuff, these medications he was pulling and he had this. It was like. I was a young comic. It was here, and I was like, I will never be able to do this. This is the best. This is the most.

[Nate]

But that's what I would like to. That's a good point. For young comedians that are starting because they see this crowd work and they see this stuff like that. That's an exact situation. I would imagine that person had that workout. It has worked out a couple of times. Times. But then it would be very hit and miss when he did it the other way. And then you're going to do it enough. You're going to get enough jokes out of it that you know what? Everybody's purse is going to be kind of the. Roughly the same.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You might get lucky and have some crazy stuff, but overall, it's going to be essentially the same kind of thing. So you can make whatever jokes you want to go do.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And so if you kept going and doing that at every show in every city, you're going to naturally kind of have crowd work and it's all going to be made up, up. But smartly, the best way to do it would then to do that, just plan it and then you're.

[John Crist]

Plan it.

[Nate]

Then you're a. You're a showman. You have to sell that. This has never happened before to this crowd. And that's what I think. When comics think about crowd work, they think, man, it's crazy that you're coming up with all this stuff and all this. You're like, it's. Once you do a little bit of crowd work. I mean, look, I'm not good at crowd work. I'm not a crowd work person, but I was around it. So New York, that's all they did. Like everybody. I mean, every. There's only so many things. And you have. You kind of have an stock answer for everything when people do cruise ships. I mean, we would. I mean, I. I did it. You would. You could have a joke that works on cruise ship. When I go to Vegas, When I go to Vegas, I have a little Vegas chunk that I do up top. You might think I'm making it up at the time, but I've just learned it fits very well in this Vegas biggest chunk. I don't really. I could maybe do it if I'm another casino, but otherwise it's like, fits very much in the moment.

[John Crist]

I see you again in Vegas.

[Nate]

I mean. Yeah. Not in a sense. Yeah, like, that's. But that's how it kind of is.

[Brian Bates]

And so only gambling I do is at the buffet.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Some Vegas material.

[John Crist]

Well, I also say that guy, the purse comic, is no longer touring, so.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Take that for what it worth. How about I do. So all fall is my stand up show. How about I do another. This is the prop show.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Then this is not stand up.

[Brian Bates]

This is my whole tour of just props.

[John Crist]

Yeah, this. My fall tour is all stand straight, stand up. Might have some music cues and some.

[Nate]

I think you could try Q4. Yeah, I think you could try it here.

[John Crist]

Then it'll be like, oh, no. Have you seen his prop show?

[Nate]

I would. For the Dateland live show. You could. Let's throw in. I'll let you do some props.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

His dad brings my dad. You could. I. Would you.

[John Crist]

No, I'm not. I'm not a magician. It's just. It's just illusionary.

[Nate]

Yeah, but he's props.

[Dusty]

We have to go out there and set it all up in between comics.

[John Crist]

It's a misdirection. It's hard to.

[Brian Bates]

For an eight minute set.

[John Crist]

It's hard to open mic. I'm gonna be honest with you. It's hard to work into an open mind.

[Dusty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

But like, I was with a guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Oh, go ahead. Somewhere.

[John Crist]

I was with a guy that I was featuring and. No, I was headlining. And he, you know, this guy, he did his. His closer. He pulls out a. A rose.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I know.

[John Crist]

Yeah. And everybody's like, wait, so he's had that rose in his pocket for 30 minutes.

[Dusty]

It kills.

[John Crist]

It does kill.

[Nate]

He opened for me. I had to follow it all week.

[Dusty]

I was jealous.

[Brian Bates]

Tell the story when you had to follow.

[John Crist]

Yeah, I followed him and it was a college town and I bombed. This is probably 10 years ago. There was no green room at this club, so I panicked. I didn't want to walk. Everyone walked past me because it was showing so bad. I went into the bathroom, went into the stall, locked it, and everyone came in there saying how bad the show.

[Aaron Weber]

Was.

[Nate]

For 20 minutes.

[John Crist]

Everyone's like, dude, that was terrible. I was in there listening. I couldn't get out.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You could never find an opening to.

[John Crist]

Go because people kept coming in.

[Nate]

I think everybody almost done.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Sounds like him.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nate]

He almost threw in there, pal. Imagine you had to come out. Oh, that's the nightmare. Sorry. Every time you go to the bathroom in a comedy club and they don't have, like, a private one, you're just out there. You're just like, please.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Please don't just be like, that guy was terrible.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[John Crist]

There's no great. There's nowhere to go, everybody. You're gonna stay on the stage. Yeah. Or everyone walk past you when they leave.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

How long were you in there?

[John Crist]

Oh, 20 minutes till it was. Till everybody cleared out and I didn't.

[Aaron Weber]

Why.

[John Crist]

I also had to wait longer when nobody was in there for a significant amount of time just to make positive it was cleared out. I don't want to look anyone in the eye. Yeah, that was tough.

[Nate]

And then you saw him. Where you been, bud? This crowd's been crazy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

He's signing autographs.

[Dusty]

He's signing.

[Brian Bates]

Sold 40 shirts to me flowers.

[Nate]

Was it frustrating because you also had a rose in your pants? That's why you were in the stall. Because you go, if I knew it, that was my thing, I could tell why. Hey, bro, can you imagine two rows in your pants? Comics do a show, and they don't know that they're the ones doing it.

[John Crist]

Whatever goes.

[Nate]

Or if the other one finds out, he goes, you gotta let me go on first.

[John Crist]

Dude, are you doing the rose thing?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, shoot, I'm doing it.

[Brian Bates]

I did a comedy festival competition once, and two comics, they had, like, the exact same joke.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And they had to like, hey, this show, I get to do the joke. This show. I. I mean, it was the exact same joke.

[John Crist]

It's hard to write jokes.

[Brian Bates]

And I think they had made some kind of agreement. They were both in the finals at a theater, and they both did the. They both did the same joke. So just the second guy looked insane because he just did. I mean, it was the exact same.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I think the first guy just was like, n. I'm doing it. It's one of my better jokes. I'm doing it.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I would think that one of you gets to do. Do it. I would think the.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I would think the competitor in me would be like, I don't need to do it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And I'll figure it out.

[John Crist]

You can have it. I would say, you can have it. You can have it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I got other stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But it was a good joke.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Do you remember the joke? You can't say it or, like, it was a.

[Brian Bates]

It was a joke about, like, serial killers. They were like, why? The joke was Everyone thinks all serial killers are white. Yeah, that's just because. That's just because the black ones get caught more quickly.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That was the bit. It was a really funny bit. And it was like. It was obvious they didn't steal it from each other, but it was just the same. The same bit.

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah, that's too specific. Specific.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Where it was like. It's kind of crazy.

[John Crist]

On the same.

[Brian Bates]

They're both two really good comics.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Stellar.

[Aaron Weber]

O. Yeah.

[Nate]

That's tough. Like, I wonder.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You'd either be like, look, neither one of us do it or.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

Flip a coin.

[Nate]

Flip a coin.

[Aaron Weber]

All right.

[Nate]

All right.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I forget.

[Dusty]

Labor Day weekend.

[Nate]

Labor Day weekend. I think you're home. I'm home. And then. Is that like the 9th and stuff.

[Dusty]

Or 31st and the 1st.

[John Crist]

First.

[Nate]

Oh, yeah. I am home.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Nice. Yeah, Home. And then the next week, I got Denver coming. Coming up. We're about to be announcing some 20, 26 dates just so people are aware, because I get asked about going to other things. We got a lot of cities. We're announcing for 2026.

[Brian Bates]

Nice.

[Nate]

And then.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And it'll be after this tour. It will be a. I'm. I will go some time without because I'm gonna try to shoot some movies and stuff.

[Brian Bates]

Go to cowboy camp.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I mean. I mean, it could be. Yeah, we could be. We could be taken. Yeah, I think.

[John Crist]

Think.

[Nate]

But, yeah, I got that. And then the Emmys. Yeah, that's.

[John Crist]

Heard of it. September 14th.

[Nate]

14Th. We have very fun. We have some pretty fun ideas. CBS has been awesome. And Sibus. Riding Cibus.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Little callback.

[John Crist]

That was a good call back.

[Dusty]

That was a good one.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

What He Callback comedian.

[Nate]

But, yeah, they've been fun. And, like, we have some fun ideas. We have some really, really fun ideas that I'm excited for y' all to see that I, you know, was almost a little surprised CBS let us do.

[John Crist]

That's cool.

[Nate]

But there's not nothing. It fits. Don't worry. It's not anything that you don't. You. You. You would not expect from me, but it's.

[John Crist]

Are you doing a monologue?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, he's hosted.

[Nate]

Yeah. Yes. But we. There's. There's a. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

We.

[Nate]

Yeah, we got a plan. We got plans. We got some pretty good plans.

[Dusty]

Some props.

[Nate]

We got props. I'm gonna come out and do the cheerful dude.

[John Crist]

If you take my swords.

[Brian Bates]

All the ideas you had today.

[Nate]

Yeah, I'm gonna do all the sword. I mean, I'm gonna do multiple swords, pigeons, doves.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

This Sunday, I'm at Zany's in Chicago. 4pm Show. Come on out. September 5th, I'm in Cincinnati September 6th and 7th in Indianapolis, U.S. september 13th, Brookhaven, Mississippi. September 21st in Perigul, Arkansas.

[John Crist]

There you go.

[Brian Bates]

You got anything you want to plug, John? Any dates you got coming?

[John Crist]

I'm going on my standup tour. Okay. No props, no prop. But I really. I don't want to plug anything. I'm looking for.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I mean, mostly not props.

[Nate]

Yeah, mostly.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You should not say no. Don't say no. And we'll see what happens and we'll.

[John Crist]

And expect the unexpected.

[Nate]

Yeah. I might stumble upon something that I think the whole crowd needs to see.

[John Crist]

And if there is a prop guy, you know, watching.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty]

Those videos you guys used to make in the town when you got there were very good.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

What about if.

[Nate]

I always think that's one of the ideas that I like. It was. I always loved that idea. And I was like, man, that would be such a good idea. A we drive around, go do for the cities.

[Aaron Weber]

It was.

[Nate]

Is really.

[Brian Bates]

And John would be editing those, like, dude, 30 minutes for the show. Like, airdrop it to the guy.

[John Crist]

I mean, it was like that. So stressful.

[Brian Bates]

There's a lot of work to do those every day.

[Nate]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I mean, it's.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nate]

Well, I mean, the audience can tell once they.

[Aaron Weber]

You know.

[Nate]

And they go, yeah, dude, that video is so funny. It felt like you were distant during the hour performance, but that video was locked in.

[John Crist]

People still come up to me and say, those videos were.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no, no.

[Nate]

It's. But that. That idea was so great and so smart. Your show would have. Was great too. It's a. You don't. Once you have your act, you kind.

[John Crist]

Of can it kind of ease off. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And so the.

[Aaron Weber]

But yeah.

[Nate]

The stressfulness of that, I'd imagine.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

You got to go drive around too, and get a.

[John Crist]

And yeah, we'd have to go to a gas station.

[Nate]

I have a lot of them now. Could you just replay them?

[John Crist]

I mean, there would be. Yeah, I would want. I would. I'm not.

[Brian Bates]

The cool part about it was. It was. It was the day John and the opener. And then he would bring up the opener in that video. So the opener would, like, walk right out. So I was like, get in there, bro.

[John Crist]

We at the church.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, this just happened today.

[John Crist]

Like, it was.

[Brian Bates]

That was the appeal of it, I think.

[Aaron Weber]

Anyway.

[John Crist]

Yeah, I'm going on. I'm Vegas. This Weekend, then I'm out until December. 35 cities, I think.

[Dusty]

Nice.

[John Crist]

I'm not saying there's not going to be any props, but we'll see.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, we got Aaron Weber here. Phoenix, Arizona, the Desert Ridge Improv followed by Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado. Phoenix. And Denver comes see me.

[John Crist]

Is that your logo? Google.

[Nate]

Google.

[John Crist]

No, right there. And below there it's Aaron Weber. Real Aaron Weber Google. That your logo?

[Brian Bates]

Oh, no, that's something else.

[John Crist]

Oh, I thought he had a logo. Oh, it looks like a logo. What is it?

[Brian Bates]

I don't have a logo.

[John Crist]

That's the beacon.

[Brian Bates]

Beacons is what I use.

[John Crist]

That's the beacons.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Launching it soft. Launching the logo.

[Nate]

And he draws it on a piece.

[John Crist]

Of paper, a little logo. See what we got here? And then they just. No logo.

[Nate]

That's not a logo. That's a. The logo. I don't think is your name.

[Dusty]

Your logo used to be the nb.

[Nate]

Yes, it was. The NB was like a. But it's your name. I think you could. I could use a logo, but I don't know if it's. It's not. Hate my hair. Hair.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It could be the eyes, though. At this point it'd be too big, actually.

[Nate]

It could be too big. Dumb eyes. So maybe I do end up getting a logo, but I think I waited the appropriate time to do it and I did not do it.

[John Crist]

Right out the gate, like the logo window.

[Nate]

You went, logo started. Comedy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

And then you.

[John Crist]

Logo first.

[Nate]

You got logo first. I would.

[John Crist]

We had a guy that was like, had a Nick. A Nick nickname like before he was, he was an open minded. Oh, I go, dude. But I don't know when you choose one.

[Nate]

Yeah. Because planning is like the, the.

[John Crist]

The fun part because he had a job. He had like a real job and he didn't want to be like caught doing his real job.

[Brian Bates]

Actually doing it is the hard part.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Other stuff is planning is so much fun.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Everybody loves planning. All right. We love you. Have a great, great. I hope you had a great. Or. Yeah, I hope you had a great Labor Day.

[Aaron Weber]

Right? Oh, it'll.

[Dusty]

No, this comes out this week, so.

[Nate]

Oh, yeah. I hope you will have a great Labor Day. See you.

[Aaron Weber]

Bye, Sam.