269: #269 Tobacco

Summary

The Nateland Podcast Episode 269: "Tobacco"

Release Date: September 10, 2025
Hosts: Nate Bargatze, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Nateland Podcast brings Dusty Slay back into the fold alongside regulars Brian Bates and Aaron Weber. The group dives into a spirited, comedic, and nostalgic conversation about tobacco: its history, its cultural cache, their personal experiences, and the broader impact of tobacco in America. Along the way, they wander into ancillary chats about travel, comedy, sports fandom, and listener comments—with trademark tangents, Southern charm, and plenty of irreverent humor. If you love banter about everything from pressure-washing video games to “voice of reason” debates, it’s classic Nateland.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reunion & Recent Adventures (00:42–15:44)

• Dusty's Return: The hosts joyfully welcome Dusty back, teasing each other about attendance and who’s the “as always” presence.
• Comedy Gigs & Travel Stories:
  • Dusty shares recent stand-up gigs in Austin (Kill Tony taping), Auburn, and Chattanooga, recounting odd hotel names and memorable mishaps with Southern flair (07:24–15:44).
  • Aaron comments on graying hair, prompting friendly ribbing (17:19–18:03).
  • Brian details a run of shows in Cincinnati and Indianapolis, noting the kindness of local crowds and the emotional weight of fundraisers (17:56–19:27).
• Tidbit: Dusty did a record-setting 1 hour and 31-minute comedy show in his hometown—a new personal best (20:58).

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2. Listener Comments & Interactive Banter (29:51–39:20)

• Power Washing Simulator Rivalry:
  • Aaron defends his choice of “pressure washing simulator” as a hobby. The hosts debate the validity of digital vs. real-world chores and the oddly soothing effect of such games.
  • Aaron (31:08): “I’m cleaning houses, playgrounds... building reputation in my community and I’m getting more and more opportunities.”
• Community Love: Multiple listeners share their experiences at live shows, odd Yard Ball mix-ups, and Nashville area recommendations.

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3. The Nature of “Voice of Reason” and Ongoing Bits (34:20–41:12)

• Dusty as the Voice of Reason:
  • Listeners assert that Dusty brings balance and common sense to Nateland, which the hosts affectionately debate.
• Southwest Airlines Open Seating & Social Etiquette:
  • The squabbles over saved airplane seats lead to commentary on societal changes, fairness, and Southwest’s coming shift away from open seating (43:32–44:46).

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4. Sports Virality: “Foul Ball Karen” & Fan Etiquette (22:24–30:07)

• The hosts hilariously dissect a viral video where a woman confronts a man over a home run ball at a Phillies game (23:24–29:39).
• Debate: Who “deserves” the ball? Should adults give baseballs to kids?
  • It turns into a broader reflection on internet outrage, sports memorabilia, and childhood dreams:
  • Brian (28:24): "If a home run ball comes to me and I catch it, I don’t know that I’m just going to immediately give it to a kid."
  • Aaron (29:46): “That’s what sports does—it brings out the kid in you.”

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5. Tobacco: History, Culture, and Personal Tales (55:49–1:08:13)

A. Origins & American Identity

• Tobacco’s Native American Roots:
  • Columbus is said to have been gifted dried tobacco leaves, initially discarded until Europeans observed Native Americans smoking.
  • Dusty (66:21): “Jazz, comedy, tobacco—that's America.”
• Early European Views: The first smoker in Europe was arrested for “devilish” habits (68:25).

B. Farming, Chewing, and Family Stories

• Brian details the process of farming tobacco—from planting “tobacco slips”, to spiking, drying, and curing (62:29–65:49).
• Chewing Tobacco:
  • Popularized during the Civil War when soldiers chewed instead of smoked. The hosts recall family members chewing and spitting—sometimes even swallowing (77:28–77:37).

C. Smoking in America: Trends & Anecdotes

• Health Concerns Emerge:
  • The first major health study linking smoking to illness was published in 1948.
  • Cigarette ads once featured doctors and were sent in Army rations (78:18–81:49).
• Personal Experiences:
  • Brian recalls receiving nicotine poisoning from working on tobacco farms and how even rare cigar use cost him a higher insurance rate (59:09–72:40).
  • Dusty talks about personal struggles with addiction and the “euphoric” feeling of smoking (102:44).
• Cultural Moments:
  • Smoking once permitted on planes (banned by 2000), in restaurants, and even on the sidelines of professional sports (84:31–91:02).
  • Aaron: “Imagine Patrick Mahomes just ripping a cig, drinking a Dr. Pepper on the sidelines” (91:08).

D. Modern Habits & Changing Culture

• Decline in Use:
  • US alcohol and cigarette use are at record lows among young people: “They're not drinking; they're not smoking” (103:35).
• Global Stats:
  • West Virginia has the highest state smoking rate; China leads the world in tobacco usage by volume (106:10–106:36).
• Cigars vs. Cigarettes:
  • Cigar smoking is seen as more socially acceptable and “ritualistic”—and less studied for health effects than cigarettes (101:09–102:44).

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6. Tobacco in Pop Culture

• Movie/TV Smoking:
  • Columbo, Pinocchio, and memorable scenes in Fight Club and West Wing are all cited as iconic, even “cool” depictions of smoking (91:36–94:12).
  • Jerry Reed’s “Another Puff” and Tex Williams’ “Smoke, Smoke, Smoke That Cigarette” make Dusty’s Top 5 Country Songs About Tobacco (98:00–99:08).
• Memorable Quote — Dusty (98:02):
  • “Every time I hear [Smoke That Cigarette], I want to smoke.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Dusty (66:21): “Jazz, comedy, tobacco—that's America.”
• Brian (28:24): "If a home run ball comes to me and I catch it, I don’t know that I’m just going to immediately give it to a kid."
• Aaron (29:46): “That’s what sports does—it brings out the kid in you.”
• Brian (102:08): “My church would never blink if guys went out to smoke cigars, but... let’s go smoke cigarettes—they’d be like, what?”
• Dusty (104:19): “If my daughter were cool and hand-rolling her own cigarettes, it'd be worth it.”
• Aaron (106:08): “I want my daughter to smoke. No.”
• Brian (91:08): “Imagine Patrick Mahomes just ripping a cig, drinking a Dr. Pepper on the sidelines.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:42 – Dusty rejoins the show; hosts catch up on recent gigs
• 17:56 – Brian's run of shows and charity gigs
• 22:24 – Viral Phillies "foul ball Karen" debate
• 29:51 – Comment section: pressure-washing game & hobbies
• 39:20 – Discussion: “Voice of reason” and podcast dynamics
• 55:49 – Segue to the main topic: Tobacco
• 62:29 – Brian’s firsthand account of tobacco farming
• 68:25 – Early European reactions to tobacco
• 74:20 – The dark side: Tobacco and slavery
• 78:18 – First health studies on smoking & early tobacco marketing
• 84:31 – Smoking on airplanes and in restaurants
• 95:48 – Dusty’s Top 5 Country Songs about Tobacco
• 101:09 – Cigars vs. Cigarettes: cultural acceptability
• 106:10 – State and world tobacco use stats

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Additional Memorable Segments

• “Pressure Washing Simulator Game” — The group’s banter about simulation games parallels their reflection on real-life chores and generational changes (30:39–33:40).
• Listener Advice for Relocating to McMinnville:
  • Dusty gives a genuine, humorous account of local industry and his potential rental property (37:40–39:07).
• Dusty’s Shampoo Routine:
  • Surprisingly thorough advice ignited by a listener’s compliment (45:19–47:46).
• Philosophers’ Legacy:
  • Spirited back-and-forth about whether Plato and Aristotle still matter to American law (49:34–52:02).
• Closing:
  • Each host plugs upcoming gigs and zany stories about missed recordings (108:17–end).

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Episode Tone & Vibe

The episode maintains Nateland’s signature blend of down-to-earth Southern humor, friendly ribbing, storytelling, and sharp observations about everyday American life. Each host's quirks and preferences shine through, especially Dusty's nostalgic, nonjudgmental take on tobacco culture.

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TL;DR Takeaway

This episode is an entertaining, honest exploration of tobacco through the lens of comedy, regional pride, and social change. Along the way, it’s punctuated by classic Nateland tangents, listener engagement, and a healthy dose of irreverence for both tradition and modernity—perfect for fans old and new.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hello, folks. And hey, Bear. I'm Brian Bates, as always. And I can really say that as always. It's been.

[C]

I'm pretty close to being able to say that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

[C]

Unless I have a kid or something.

[A]

Yeah, I don't understand what you mean. You mean you're always here.

[C]

Yes. Because you're blowing up. You're tapping out every other week.

[A]

But you said, I'm Brian Bates, as always. Well, and then you're like, I'm pretty close to saying that too. And I was like, you're sometimes you're other people.

[C]

I am becoming more like Brian. Unfortunately, over the last five years, Brian and I are, we're converging into the same person.

[B]

Why is that unfortunate?

[C]

Well, it's good in a lot of ways. I think I'm becoming a kinder, more considerate person, but secretly way more mean. That kind of, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

I just met. We're here.

[A]

You're.

[C]

Look, you got a lot going on. Dusty. It's exciting to have you back. It's been a minute.

[A]

I'm pumped to be here. But, you know, what happened was I had to be out one week and you guys did two episodes in that day.

[C]

And why do you think you picked that one week? Because we were doing two episodes.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Well, let me introduce my co host. I'm Brian Bates along with Aaron Weber and Dusty Slay.

[A]

And I'm always Dusty Slay, as always.

[B]

I'm a lot. I'm breakfast, I'm boat ramp.

[A]

But you are always here. I like breakfast. I still think you should run with the. It's the, you know, best meal of the day. They call me breakfast because it's the most important meal of the day.

[B]

I like it.

[C]

But is that true? Is breakfast the most important meal of the day?

[A]

I think they say it's not true, but they still say it.

[B]

Don't worry about. Come on, Aaron.

[A]

You know, in Europe, a lot of European countries, they say they eat a light breakfast, right? And then they have a big lunch that they'll eat like for two hours and then light dinner.

[C]

But their GDP is like 30 million. They don't do anything and then they take a four hour nap. After lunch.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

America, we're getting it done. And we're dying at 50 of a heart.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Exactly. I'm like, I, I like, I like the two hour lunch.

[B]

Once you just go to Europe. Leave us alone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get out of here, Commie.

[A]

Yeah, well, I don't. I don't know if I want to go to a communist country.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

I don't think those lunches are two hours. It's not enough food.

[C]

Well, I'm two hours in a line.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm glad to have you back.

[A]

I'm pumped to be here. Yeah.

[C]

Like, going on Nateland this weekend. Tune into the Nateland YouTube channel for the premiere of Maggie Hughes Depaulon. Oh, yeah, very funny. Set. Her showcase premieres this Friday night, September 12th. We're also taping Ryan Hamilton's Netflix special. Two shows October 4th at the Neptune Theater in Seattle. And a few tickets left for the 7pm and tickets still available for the second show at 9:30.

[A]

Maggie is very funny. She's gonna do the show with me in Chicago later this year in November.

[C]

That's great.

[A]

November 8th, just for the record.

[B]

Yeah, that's great.

[C]

That's great.

[B]

Where were you?

[A]

Well, I did. I went to Austin. Sorry. And I did kill Tony.

[C]

All right. Comes out tonight. So it'll be out by the time this podcast comes out.

[A]

Should be.

[C]

Yeah, Pretty exciting.

[B]

How was that?

[A]

It was great. I thought it was a fun episode. I, you know, for that show, I don't think it got too wild and I, I had tons of fun.

[C]

Were you mean to people? Did you. Did you go in with the mentality of like, I'm going to be kind or am I just going to say what comes to my head?

[A]

Well, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I played around with it, like, would I go in hot? But once I was in there, I was just like, to me, it's just fun to, like, mess around with people.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no need to really make fun of anyone.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You can mess around with what they're doing without being, you know. And I felt like that was the vibe of the whole show. I felt like that whole episode, nobody was really making fun of anybody too hard. Yeah. Just messing around, having fun.

[B]

Who else was on?

[A]

Comic named Martin Phillips out of Austin. He's a regular on the show, but never done panel before. There's a little buzz going on in your headphones, or is it just me?

[C]

I have it too. Yeah, I don't think it's in the Feed, though. I think it's just the headphones.

[A]

But he had never done the panel, so it was really fun because I didn't want to, you know, I'd never done the panel. I didn't want it to be like, somebody that did panel a times, and then I'm, I'm trying to get a word in. I felt like it was a good balance of, of us saying things, and then honestly, I don't really remember any of the comics. There was so many.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there was a couple of Nashville people that I didn't. Didn't know, you know?

[B]

Yeah. And it's getting worse.

[C]

I think you turned the knob the.

[A]

Wrong way, and it's now it's completely gone now. It's completely gone, Chase.

[C]

Completely gone. I mean. Yeah, just stay. Don't move in your chair at all.

[B]

Wherever you're at right now, stay over here. Come back when I move back this way.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Back.

[C]

As soon as you got up to fix it, it was like, all right, I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, go ahead. We're leaving all this in, by the way.

[A]

Yeah, it's completely gone now.

[C]

Uhhuh. Yeah, it sounds great.

[A]

Yeah, but it was great. I mean, I've done the Mothership before. I really like it there. Sixth street in Austin is too much for me. I walk before the show and still daylight out and turned into a run. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot going on out there. It's too much for me. But the Mothership is really great. I really like it there. And everyone was very nice to me. They always are.

[C]

That's great.

[A]

And, But I, I, I think it's funny. When I got back here in the green room, there's a sign telling people not to smoke and vape in the green room. And, and the Mothership, I mean, it is anything goes. Yeah. That's why you love it, and I do like that. And. Yeah. But the show was fun. I mean, I, I, I don't know. And my. Had it just built up that it was going to be so hard and. But Tony was very nice. He was very nice to me and very. Made the show very easy.

[C]

Great. I'm excited to see it, man.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

Yeah, me too. So I got some, you know, I don't think I'm, I don't think I revolutionized the show on my episode, but it was, I think it went well.

[B]

Well, we're glad to have you back.

[A]

I'm pumped to be back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That the buzzing that was going through Our headphones was really messing me up and I was having a hard time formulating a. Thoughts.

[C]

Yeah, so you're doing way better now.

[A]

But, you know, I have been. I just went to. I went to Auburn. I got this hat. I found a nice corduroy hat of the old modern logo.

[C]

Old school logo, Man, I haven't seen that in a long time.

[A]

And, you know, there's a picture of me and my mom at Tumor's Corner where she's wearing kind of a trucker hat with the old logo on it.

[C]

Oh, that's fun.

[A]

So I found this and I got it and I had a great time and all. I did a place called the. It's called the Go. The G, O, G, U, E. Okay. The J. And Susie goes. I've been calling it the Go.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I would call it.

[A]

For, you know, I don't know, months. It's only been around for five years.

[C]

Yeah. So it's hard to shake that habit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Well, I just calling it that for. I've been making videos. Hey, I'm coming to the Go. And I get there and they go. Yeah, it's called the Goosh. And I'm still not sure if that's right, to be honest with you.

[C]

You go, but they'll know what I'm talking about.

[A]

But I like to think it's like rouge. Isn't that how rouge. No, I think even that is a U and the G is switched. But either way, it was great. And yeah, maybe about Rogue, but that would be Go.

[B]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

Never mind. But. But I. I just. I really enjoyed myself, you know, I've always. Because I grew up in Opelika.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Auburn is like the nice side of the two. I love Opelika. But Auburn. It's very clear that Auburn's the nice side of the two.

[C]

You're from the other side of the tracks.

[A]

Yes. So I've always had this, like, inferiority complex when it comes to Auburn, but I hung out there for three days. I stayed at a nice place downtown called the Collegiate Hotel.

[C]

And the college.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how to pronounce it either, but college. It. But. Yeah, but there was a. A game, you know, kind of a nothing game. Yeah, but it was in town.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I took my daughter walking around the city and it was fun. And Auburn is so nice.

[C]

It is very nice. It's a great college town.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It just like.

[C]

That's what I think of when I think of A college town. I still think of Auburn.

[A]

I was just out on a park bench with my buddy after the game. We were having cigars and we. I didn't go to the game, but I was just out there and people were just walking by and it's just, everybody just seemed great, just seemed nice and friendly and everybody seemed in shape too. My wife noticed that. She was like, she actually said it's not a lot of fat people around here and which is weird for, you know, this part of the country. And I agree. I mean, we're weird for everywhere. Yeah.

[C]

Let's be honest.

[A]

Yeah, it is. And you know, because we're eating and I, you know, I had fried. I can't, I can't be there and not eat Jim Bobs. Oh, I got some Jim Bob shirts. I forgot to wear it today. That's too bad.

[C]

You got us one too, right?

[A]

No, I never did. But yeah, I was asking about your.

[C]

Size for our size. That 3x shut it down. I got 3x.

[A]

My buddy was like, I can't, I can't, I can't give out a 3x kill.

[C]

Our budget cost $40 to make. I'm not getting.

[A]

Now I messed up and forgot to get those. But.

[C]

Well, not to get too much into college football talk, but it is kind of fun, you know, Alabama's not having the best season so far. Yeah, they started off with a pretty tough.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And even if you're not a college football fan, the meltdown among Alabama fans has been pretty fun to watch. I saw a video go viral on TikTok of a woman outside of a gas station. She's asked what she would do if she won the Powerball. And she said, I'll tell you what, dude, the first 70 million, I'm buying out Kaylin Bore's contract. Getting the heck out of Alabama. Yeah, it's so much fun. They can't handle a mediocre. I mean, they're still going to be a good team. They just can't handle it because they so good.

[A]

I don't know how you expect a guy to win when you give him a seventy million dollar buyout. I know, it's like, what is your motivation to win? You're like, all I got to do is not be good and they'll fire me and pay me $70 million. Why would I win? Who cares about our reputation?

[C]

Yeah, you can still get fired for cause though, right?

[A]

Well, yeah, but like just don't win. I think it's got something to do with the name. The name's too hard to say. Deboer, Kaylin, Deborah. It's too much. The best coaches at Alabama were Paul, Gene and Nick. You got to keep it simple. Yeah, you gotta keep it simple.

[C]

Bear. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Paul Bear Bryant. Yeah, you gotta keep it simple.

[B]

It's interesting theory, but Kaylin De Beer.

[A]

It's too much now. Kalyn Debear.

[B]

I even know how to say his name.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Deborah.

[B]

Deborah.

[A]

I'm pretty sure I don't know. I don't know how to pronounce anything today.

[B]

Anyway, speaking of Deboer, Aaron, what were you doing this weekend?

[A]

Well, I'd like to say, if you don't mind. That's very funny.

[B]

Go ahead, Dusty.

[A]

You know, then Sunday night I went to Chattanooga, went to the Comedy Catch. They had a 40th anniversary show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I went there, did that show last night. It was a lot of fun. I just want to say it. It's a great club. The whole family was there. Yeah, it was very exciting.

[C]

The Alanos.

[A]

Yeah, the Alanos. We got to rag on Michael Alano a little bit for putting us in bad hotels all these years and all that. And the first. I remember one time he put me in a condo and he goes, park under the street lamp so your car doesn't get broken into it.

[C]

Good advice in general, I guess.

[A]

Yeah, but it was great. And my car didn't get broken into anyone else. I stayed in the train car, like the. That train hotel.

[C]

Oh, did you? The Choo Choo.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's. But it's like now. Like the Chalet Chalet. I don't know how to pronounce it either. Why is everything so hard to pronounce? So let's just. Hotel Chalet. Chalette. Chalet Chalet. Yeah, but don't put a T in there.

[C]

Did you use the valet or did you just park?

[A]

I parked. Okay. Because I couldn't pronounce it. I was like, I don't know. I don't want to have to go. I'd like to use this service.

[B]

So you stayed last night?

[A]

I stayed last night, but I stayed in one of the train cars.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Very nice.

[B]

I didn't know they really did that. I thought that was something they used to do.

[A]

Well, Danielle was saying they used to be real gross, but Hotel Chalet bought it out and remodeled them.

[C]

So if you go to the Comedy Catch Comedy Club in Chattanooga, there's a. There's a Choo Choo train right outside of it. And. And they've convert. Like the. I don't Even know what you call them, the cars.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It is called the Chattanooga Choo Choo, but I never call it a choo choo train. I just call it a train.

[C]

Well, I wouldn't call it.

[B]

Choo choo.

[C]

But I think if I say train and then I say choo choo train, you picture two very different things in your head. I say train. I'm thinking of the plane train at the Atlanta airport. That's what I think of with the train. Okay, but I'm talking old school, old fashioned trains. Passenger. Yeah, I get.

[A]

But I feel like, you know, I'm with you. I'm with you.

[C]

I felt a little silly saying choo choo as well.

[A]

Yeah. But it is called late.

[B]

I'm stuck behind a choo choo.

[A]

Yeah. It is called the Chattanooga Choo Choo. But you go into that building and you know, there's nothing in that building really. It's just a big empty building. I mean, there's things off to the side.

[C]

There's a coffee shop in there.

[A]

Yeah, it's off to the side, but there's a giant. You. I thought, well, this is where I got to check in. Yeah, there's nothing going on in there.

[C]

Well, the train's not functional anymore.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So just a. Well, just a place to sleep now. Now you're just sleeping on the train.

[C]

Was it narrow? Was it like a hall, staying in a hallway?

[A]

Pretty narrow, yeah.

[B]

Was it quiet?

[A]

Yeah, it was quiet. I mean, there was, you know, by the time I got back to the hotel, I mean, there was a little bit of a band off because they have a whole festival kind of area right there now. When I started going there 10 years ago, it was like, almost like a bad neighborhood going in there. And now it's, you know, it's a hot spot.

[B]

Yeah, huh?

[A]

Yeah. All right. So that's all I got. Yeah.

[C]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. We've all done it before. You turn to your barista, hairdresser, or random stranger in the bathroom for life advice. We've all done that.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I do it every day. As fun as they are to talk with about everyday topics when you're looking for real help about relationships, anxiety, depression, or other clinical issues, they might not have all the right answers. You know who does? You need to get guidance from a licensed therapist online with Better Help. You know, betterhelp has actual people who are clinically trained and licensed. They give way better therapy sessions than comics. With over 30,000 doll, thousand therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. BetterHelp has been helping people find their match for over 10 years and have a 4.9 rating out of 1.7 million client session reviews. It's convenient, too. You can join a session with the therapist at the click of a button, the push of a finger, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus, you can switch therapists at any times without the awkward conversation. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, Better Help can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Find the one with better Help. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] Nate that's better. H lp.com Nate I'm sorry I cut.

[A]

Off your joke, though. That was a good joke. I'd like you to do it again.

[B]

Speaking of Deborah Aaron, what have you been up to?

[C]

I was in Dallas this weekend. You know what I realized?

[A]

I'm.

[C]

I'm full gray now in my hair. My little nieces and nephews pointed it out, and a little. A little. No, I'm not gonna. I'll show it to you later. I mean, people will see it. It's not like you're not gonna gasp or anything, but you look and you're like, man, you have just a ton of gray hairs now. And sometimes it takes a little kid saying that to you before you. You really accept it, you know?

[A]

I'm sorry that's happened.

[B]

Is that what you're talking about? When you're getting more like me?

[C]

I'm going gray. I'm not balding.

[B]

There is a difference.

[C]

Yeah. What about you, Brian? What are you up to?

[B]

I had a big weekend. Friday night. I was in Cincinnati at Commonwealth Comedy Club. Great crowd.

[C]

Not called Sanctuary anymore.

[B]

No more. They changed it to comedy club.

[C]

Is it still, like, stained glass windows and stuff?

[B]

Still a church.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

But great crowd. Awesome. Hot show.

[A]

Yeah, hot.

[B]

Everybody was wonderful. Mark. Shala Fu.

[A]

Yeah. I can't pronounce anything. Nobody can.

[B]

He's great.

[A]

Yeah. Stop having names like this.

[C]

Yeah. Shalafu has done some of the Nateland shows.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why I mentioned, because he's. People might know him. He's very funny.

[A]

He is very funny.

[B]

And then Saturday, I drove over to Indianapolis. I had no idea Cincinnati and Indianapolis were that close. Hour and 40 minutes between the two.

[C]

It's like here to Huntsville. That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah. And they both have, like, NFL teams, so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You could live halfway in between and be less than an hour between two NFL teams. That's wild. Did a corporate Saturday night in India. I say corp. It was a fundraiser. People came. Like, folks came out and bought tickets for. It was for the Elena Day Memorial Foundation. Little girl who lost her fight with cancer, but her family started a foundation to help other kids with cancer. It's a wonderful cause, and we had a great turnout. And thanks for everybody that came to that. And then went to the Colts game yesterday.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Last night, did helium downtown Indianapolis.

[C]

Oh, nice, dude.

[B]

And another hot show.

[C]

All right.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Sold it out.

[A]

That's a good club. Yeah, I like that club.

[B]

Yeah, it's great.

[A]

And I love Indianapolis. I used to go there to Crackers back in the day.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Three, like, sometimes three times a year, I would go featuring because they had two clubs. I loved it. Indianapolis was my spot for a long time.

[B]

Yeah, it was.

[A]

But then I had a hard time getting booked there for a while. But I'm back.

[B]

So that was last night, and then this morning, I did Bob and Tom for the first time.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I saw that pick.

[B]

Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Bob's never there anymore, and Tom was not there this morning. So I didn't. I didn't meet Bob or Tom, but I met a lot of.

[A]

Did the show.

[B]

I just did it by myself.

[A]

The show? Yeah, the end show. The. And show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, that's great. I mean, that show's fun. It's the first time I did. It was very hard, but it was. It's a fun show.

[B]

Yeah, it's good.

[C]

You ended on a good. Isn't it the best to end on a great show for a weekend? I think I'd rather have four bad shows and then end on a great one than four great ones and end on a bad one.

[A]

I'm gonna have to disagree, but let me.

[C]

Let me dial it back. Let me go to two.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Four bad jokes by four. You're like, I don't even know if I can do a good show again.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, just bombing.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, but I know what you mean. You're only as happy as your last show.

[C]

Right.

[B]

It was good to end on a high note, but they were all great shows. I didn't do an hour and a half like Dusty, but.

[A]

Oh, I forgot to say that. Yeah. At the Goosh, I did an hour and 31 minutes. That's my new record for me. But I was at my. It was a hometown show, and I wanted to. I wanted to really make it.

[C]

I was like, you think It'll be a record for long.

[A]

I don't know. I'm really feeling.

[C]

Is that your first time breaking 90 minutes?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So this is like when the first guy hit a four minute mile.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Immediately like 50 people did. I think every set for, I think 90s, the minimum.

[A]

I mean, I. I used to open for Aries Spears and he would do 90 minutes. And I remember being like, I'd be like, geez, I mean, you got to do that much time. I mean, what's going on in your life that you need to be up there that long? And now I'm like, this is the greatest thing ever. I don't know why I thought that about him. It's just fun to do comedy. Sometimes the hardest thing is getting started in the show. Once the show's going, I'm like, I could keep. I can just keep going.

[C]

Well, you're doing it at a theater. There's a difference between that and doing it at a. Where the next show's outside waiting in the rain and the staff is being kept there and all that.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

Yeah, that is true. When I do clubs, I do about an hour.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I. But I drove home today after Bob time from Minneapolis, and then I went to Lebanon, picked up my mom and brought her back and took her to Grandparents day at my daughter's preschool, which is very funny. I used to have a joke about Grandparents Day at my daughter's preschool and how we're going to show up looking older than half the grandparents.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was pretty much true today. Not older, but the grandparents were closer to our age than they were my mom's age. So I like, I think some people probably thought, oh, she brought her grandparents and her great grandmother.

[C]

I'm trying to remember Grandparents Day. What do you do? Just kind of go, we appreciate you.

[B]

They show her the class, classroom and some stuff. Was that sarcastic?

[A]

It's funny the way he said it. Let's take them in there.

[C]

Just bring them in and go, hey, thanks.

[A]

And that.

[C]

Is there like a Grandparents song or something? I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, there's a Grandparents song. You like me to sing it now?

[A]

Yeah, do a little bit of it.

[B]

Grandparents.

[A]

Is that really a song?

[B]

You are. You can tell it is a real song, can't you?

[A]

Grandparents. That sounds like Red Robin.

[B]

You are the best.

[C]

You are the best.

[A]

All right.

[C]

That's fun.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You want to get in these comments?

[A]

I would not have sang that to my grandparents.

[C]

Grandparents.

[A]

They were not. Well, really. She was great.

[B]

I did want to ask you one thing, Aaron.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

The. The Phillies fan fighting over the home run ball.

[C]

Yes. Tough.

[B]

I. I came to her defense this weekend. I saw your tweet on Twitter.

[C]

I. I respected what you said. I think I actually liked it because I actually respect you for speaking out.

[B]

I joked a little bit. I was kind of joking about if the ball comes straight to me. You got to give me a few seconds.

[C]

Can you give the context to the listeners? Some people might not have seen it.

[A]

I got to take two.

[C]

Maybe different than both, there's probably six or seven of these moments that go super viral every baseball season. You know, baseball, as much as I love it, there's a lot of lulls. There's a lot of things happening that aren't necessarily about the game itself. Right. So there will be fan interactions. And this was the latest one to go super viral. Where was it a foul ball or a home run?

[B]

Home run.

[C]

It was a home run. Lands in front of a father and a son. They're. Re. No. Lands in front of the woman.

[B]

Yep. There's a scramble.

[A]

There's a scramble. Empty. Empty aisle.

[C]

An empty seat in front of the.

[A]

Yeah. The woman technically on his row.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But he runs over it, gets a good bounce. He grabs it, runs back to his son, immediately gives it to his son.

[C]

Gives it to a kid, which is what you're supposed to do. Right.

[B]

And. Well.

[C]

Well, I'm just saying that's. That's the. The talking point is that that's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You're supposed to give it to a kid immediately.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then the woman that was kind of close to it when it came comes running over and gets in his face and kind of yells at him to the point where he finally is like, here, just take the ball.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then she walks off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now they're calling her a Karen.

[A]

Right.

[B]

She clearly was not her best moment.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But she's getting just destroyed.

[C]

I agree.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's a little Bartmanish to me. Little Steve Bartman.

[C]

It's a lot. It's a lot of that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And I really think she had a different haircut. It wouldn't even be a story.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I got. She just had.

[C]

If you haven't seen this moment, just picture the haircut you think this woman has, and she has that.

[A]

Well, it's like this whole idea that we gotta have these balls anyway is. This is what makes it all ridiculous. We're all. There's like two grown people fighting over a. A baseball.

[C]

No, it's A. A kid has a ball, and then a. A woman goes, it was ours. Where? It wasn't hers.

[A]

This is the thing, though. The guy. Yeah. I mean, I. It wasn't hers, and she had no right to come get it. Right. It wasn't hers. But the guy. If you watch the guy. The guy marches over there, grabs the ball. Like, you know, he. The whole way he does it, and then he goes back, and then when the lady comes over, he. The way he's like. He, like, almost moves like. Oh, I'm so shocked that, you know, and it's like. And then he just gives the ball up so quick. Like, he made such a big, like, dart to get the ball, and then to just give it up so quickly. I didn't like it. I didn't care for it. It's like, you keep it now. You keep it.

[C]

At this point, I can't tell what your point is, that you're mad the guy gave it away. That I feel like he kind of changed.

[A]

I think. I know. I'm. I'm mad that the guy made such a big deal about getting it. The way he moved, the way he looked like, I'm a big man here. I just got this balls going.

[C]

Everybody. Everybody's going over it. He's excited to get it for his kid. Right. And he brings back over, and then a woman he probably didn't even know was there until she started screaming at him, is in his face, and then you're like, I don't even want to deal with this. Just take the ball.

[A]

Whatever. I just think you already put it in your son's glove. You can't take it out.

[C]

Well, that's. Yeah, that's a separate argument.

[A]

Yeah. He can't take it out now.

[B]

Yeah, well, the. The kid's been rewarded by the Phillies.

[A]

Yeah. But not by his dad. By the Phillies. And I think that's an important distinction.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. The dad, if anything, should be charged with a crime.

[A]

I mean, I just think social services should come in. He should have kept the ball for his kid.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Well, anyway, the woman, I think's gone into hiding, so.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If he had kept the ball for his kid, too, she probably wouldn't be getting.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Of as much because she. She got the ball, so it's like.

[C]

Right, that's true.

[A]

So if the man had held on to the ball, she wouldn't be getting made fun of as much.

[B]

Some company has put out a thing, asking. They'll pay $5,000. Maybe to charity, maybe not to her. I Don't know if she'll give it back. And with the words I'm sorry written on it. So they're really. I know.

[A]

I mean, it's like, leave the lady alone now. If, you know, it's like.

[C]

That's like. What's the thing they used to have in old colonial cities where you put your head through the block of wood?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, that's called the. What is that called?

[A]

It'd be the torture rack is what.

[C]

I would call it.

[B]

But what is that.

[C]

Yeah, whatever. The digital version of that. That's what. That's what.

[A]

But even you know, that just happened, too, at a tennis match where like, a kid, I guess, asked for a hat and the guy took it. You see that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. Yeah. I mean, but it's like they're, like, trying to, like, get that guy fired for. They're like, he's a CEO of a guy.

[C]

Make them famous.

[A]

Yeah. Take it easy, guys. This is just sports memorabilia here.

[B]

I don't think you should fight a kid for a ball. And I think it's great if you give a kid a ball, but if a home run ball comes to me and I catch it, I don't know that I'm just going to immediately give it to a kid.

[C]

Oh, man, Brian, I hope you get one.

[A]

Well, I give. I give you that, too, though.

[C]

I hope it's all on camera. You're saying if little kid walks up.

[B]

Well, it's happened to me.

[C]

Really?

[B]

I told you that a long time ago. It wasn't a home run ball, but my dad and I went to spring training. Watch the Braves. Andrew Jones catches the third out. We're in the outfield on. On the grass.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Catches third out. As he always did. He would turn around and just throw it in the stands. He throws it, comes straight to me. I catch it.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I'm in my 20s at this time, so I'm. I'm grown.

[C]

Yeah. But not. Yeah, like an early adult.

[B]

An early adult.

[A]

But it's just like. Yeah. You're going to give it to some kid who's.

[B]

Well, then a guy. A guy starts yelling, give it to the kid.

[C]

Oh, that would annoy. That would annoy me.

[B]

But I was so excited. I was a kid.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was so excited to have it.

[C]

That's what sports does, dude. It brings out the kid in you.

[B]

Yeah, I still have that.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. You give it to the kid, the kid takes it in the backyard, hits it over the fence, and then now it's gone. And you still have it.

[B]

Yeah, that's what Nate said when I told this story five years ago. He's like, that kid would have lost the ball that day.

[A]

Yeah. You don't give nothing to these kids.

[B]

Yeah. If anything, take it away from them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Either way, I wish it was on camera.

[A]

Unless you're there, unless you're their dad, don't take it from.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Thank you for that. You want to get in these comments?

[A]

Should I do it? I'm glad we talked.

[C]

Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

I was so. I've been so annoyed by both of those things that the. The hat one, like, the guy shouldn't have took the hat, but. And the lady shouldn't take the ball, but I've been so annoyed that everybody's just like trying to ruin these people's lives online now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, just take it easy.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, sorry.

[B]

Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and Nate land@nate bargetzi.com. not my email. If it is, I'll just delete it. Candace Huggins. I usually usually listen to podcasts with headphones, keeping my reactions to smiles and silent laughs. However. However, I burst out laughing when Aaron said he had a pressure washing simulator game. That exchange was fantastic. And Nate's quip about Aaron's nap game was the cherry on top.

[C]

Yeah. I gotta tell you, the pushback I got on the podcast for talking about the pressure washing game. Boy, do you guys look like fools. Because the power washing community came out in numbers, dude. I'm getting a lot of support for that online.

[A]

There's a pressure washing game.

[C]

There's, you know, there's simulators for everything. There's farming simulators, there's lawn cutting simulator. I've been playing a pressure washing game where, you know, it looks like a first person shooter, but it's. You have a.

[A]

What are you shooting?

[C]

I'm cleaning houses, playgrounds. I'm cleaning cars, motorcycles. I'm building reputation in my community and I'm getting more and more opportunities.

[B]

I criticized it. I criticized it and now I'm like the Phillies lady. I'm getting death threats. Like, people are like, I'm going to be honest.

[A]

Even though I have that knowledge now that this is happening to you, I still think that's like, get a pressure washer and just do it.

[B]

That's what he would.

[C]

You feel that? Here's what I want to ask. I've also been playing NCAA football, the new NCAA football. I got a dynasty going. I just became the head coach of Auburn, actually.

[B]

Stop playing with your daughter sometime.

[C]

Well, this is when she goes to bed.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I need to, you know, decompress now. It's actually a good point, but would. Do you feel any differently about me playing that game versus the pressure washing?

[B]

What?

[C]

I would say they're equally meaningless in.

[A]

The grand scheme, but what I would say is there's no chance that you're going to be the coach of Auburn's basketball team.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But there is a chance that you could be out. I mean, I got some stuff that needs pressure washing. If you just need some stuff, it's a good counterpoint. But no, you don't have to sweat. You don't have to get out there. And I like just a meaningless get.

[C]

You know, it's just like. It's like doing a sudoku.

[A]

I like watching videos of people cutting grass. They'll go. And they, they, they. Somebody's lawns overgrown, and they, like, shape it up. Yeah, I like those.

[C]

I want to do. I want to do a video where I go up to a guy's, knock on the front door and go, hey, your lawn's getting pretty high. And they go, yeah, you should probably take care of that.

[A]

Like, pull up with the truck.

[C]

I'm gonna offer to do.

[A]

Have a weed eater in your hand.

[C]

I just want to say, like, this is unacceptable.

[B]

I'm from hoa.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So is it like I asked the this. I throw out this analogy last week. Tell me if it's true. Is it a little bit like coloring in the sense that you can just get lost in it and it feels good to kind of.

[C]

Yeah, it's just. Just zone out for a little bit.

[B]

I'm not saying I do that.

[C]

Your wife's talking and you're just cleaning a playground.

[B]

Yeah, your wife's. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

I'm kidding about that.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I can't count the number of times I've got lost in my coloring.

[B]

I'm not saying I do, but I know some adults that that's their therapy.

[C]

And I want to be very clear. I've maybe played this game a total of an hour. It's not like I'm going home after the podcast and playing Power Washing Simulator for four to five hours a night. Okay.

[A]

I just think that, you know what I like, they have like, like, flight simulator where it's like, yeah, why don't.

[C]

You just go fly a plane?

[A]

Well, that's true, but I just feel like there's a lot more that goes into flying a plane than pressure wash.

[C]

What video games have you played?

[A]

I haven't Played any WWE ever? No, I mean, as an adult. I played for a little while. I played the Sims. No, No, I played SimCity on my phone.

[C]

Why don't you go start a city?

[A]

Well.

[B]

Well, he's trying to.

[A]

I'd love to. Yeah.

[B]

But just a matter of time.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I'd love to start a city.

[B]

More like a community. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where he runs it.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Rusty Shackelford. There's no voice of reason when Dusty's not on the pod.

[A]

That's true. I like that coming from Rusty Shackelford, the character from King of the Hill, you know, but. Yeah, well, that's true. I mean, that's absolutely correct.

[C]

Yeah. We need you.

[B]

The truth Group. I just moved into Nashville area last week and I took this time to spend my very first Monday night at the Nate Land live at Zany's. It was amazing. Aaron destroyed as well as Justin Smith, Alex Voodo, and Jeff Allen. Well, the truth groups not lying there, but what an incredible bang for your buck. Plus, the food is delicious too. So if you're in Nashville on the Monday night, you're sure to have a great time if you show up at Zany's.

[C]

Comments also come from Zany's Yelp page, apparently.

[A]

Yeah. What are you guys paying this review? The truth Group. I would think they would be another one backing me on the voice of Reason.

[C]

That was a hot show, though.

[B]

Lisa.

[A]

My.

[B]

My whiny.

[A]

My Winnie, My whiny.

[B]

I placed a yard ball order for my husband. Upon opening the box, I was delighted to find three yard balls. I'd only ordered one, so I was pumped for the freebies. Then I discovered the packing slip confirmed this box was intended for Jacob in Ohio. I texted Jacob and he confirmed receiving my order in his box. We figured out that both of us listened to Nate Land and ordered it off to your recommendation.

[C]

That's pretty crazy. Two orders get mixed up and they're. They're both Nateland.

[A]

But you had Jacob's number, I guess.

[B]

On the package, right?

[C]

I'm guess. Yeah. I'm guessing on the receipt. It had their contact info or something.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I mean, I don't know how else.

[B]

They would have Aaron yard ball. I mean, you've really put them on the map.

[C]

Hey, dude. To the moon.

[A]

Yeah, People got a lot of yard balls laying around their house.

[B]

Now she's got three.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Did you get yours? Oh, you weren't here. I got one for you.

[A]

Oh, okay, good. Yeah.

[C]

Do you have them on you, Chase? Oh, they're they're back there on that thing. You throw one too, aren't they? Right? Or did I give them to you, Chase? Yeah, don't even worry if it's a whole.

[A]

No, I'll take it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead and take it. Hey, go ahead and. Yeah, clean out my car while you're out there too, Tristan. Appreciate that, man.

[A]

Yeah, I would pressure wash it, but I'm too busy at home playing the pressure washing game.

[C]

Well, I can't afford a full pressure washing machine.

[A]

There are small pressure washers.

[C]

Yeah, but I want to. Dude, I want.

[B]

You can rip.

[C]

I want to get in there with that thing, dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I. I can. I can do whatever I want in the game. There we go. You just throw one.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

There you go, dude.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's cool.

[C]

Yeah. How about that? Hey, Dusty, let me tell you something. That's all yours, brother.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Hold on to that, man.

[A]

Appreciate that.

[B]

Yeah. We should reenact the scene of the Phillies.

[A]

I'll.

[B]

I'll play the dad. Jamie Loaza. Loaza. I live in Arizona and I'm looking to relocate to Tennessee. One of the areas I'm interested in is McMinnville. I know that Dusty has property up there and could. And could you tell me what it's like to live there and what are the employment opportunities in the surrounding areas?

[A]

Well, maybe you can rent my cabin. I may rent it out.

[B]

Maybe use a period. How about that first?

[A]

Yeah, maybe you could rent it out. I don't know what the employment opportunities are. I'll tell you what.

[C]

I think punctuation is going to widen your employment opportunities wherever you go.

[A]

I don't think so. I don't know. You guys have not spent a lot of time in McMinnville, but. No, McMinnville's great.

[C]

You say Mac.

[A]

Minville. That's what they call it. Mac. Some people call it Macminville. Yeah.

[C]

They got a McDonald's down there?

[A]

Yeah, that's what I used to call it, McDonald's. But Mackie's, McMinnville's great. They got. They're the nursery capital of the world, so you could probably get involved with some plant nursery. Oh, they got a pretty good restaurant, decent restaurant scene and could use someone who knows about restaurants. There's, you know, there's a few really good restaurants and then the others are okay. But. Yeah, I don't. I've not had a job outside of comedy in over 10 years, so it's pretty Nice. You know, praise the Lord. And. But I. So I don't know. But I like the area. There's some caves, there's some kayaking. So you could probably, if you're into that sort of stuff. And I have a cabin that potentially may like to rent out.

[B]

Jamie, Dusty's phone number is.

[A]

Yeah. But. Well, I do have an email on my website.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Dusty slay gmail.com dusty.

[A]

Slay gmail.com dusty.sleigh yeah, actually I was told the dot doesn't matter, but I.

[B]

Well, Jamie will agree with that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Don't worry about it. Jamie.

[C]

Man, Brian is quick, dude.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[C]

That was so quick. You're gonna think that was edited on the podcast. That was in real time right there.

[B]

Thank you, Aaron.

[A]

Finances are an everyday headache we all deal with.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

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[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

That is true. I was a real mess. I got some stories. I mean if I could have gone back and been paid two days early or had an option of a free ATM. Come on. Chime also has 24. 7 customer service support or just customer support if you ever need it. I'm sure it's still customer service.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. They provide services.

[A]

Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in 2 [e-mail] Nate that's chime.com Nate Chime feels like progress. Wow. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members. FDIC Spot me Elig requirements and overdraft limits apply.

[B]

Timing depends on submission of payment file fees.

[A]

Apply it out of network ATMs.

[B]

Bank ranking and number of ATMs according.

[A]

To US News and World Report.

[B]

2023 time checking account required Becca purchase. I saw Aaron's reel about the toilet paper relay on the plane and it's. And sent it to my sister in sister in law. She's graduating today from the training to become a flight attendant for Southwest. She said learning that game and others for keeping people busy while waiting is part of their training. There's way more to that job than I ever realized. Sending her pics of the band to keep an eye out for them on her flights.

[C]

That's so funny. So she sent it to her sister in law. Yeah, I read it the first time I said it to my sister in law. Like, her sister's a lawyer.

[B]

Oh, well, I missed. I kind of read it like that the first time.

[A]

You're supposed to have some hyphens.

[C]

I was like, why is your lawyer sister gonna get involved in this? Yeah. Well, that's really cool. I mean, look.

[A]

IPhone dashes. Well, dashes and you know, plural is.

[C]

Sisters in law, not sister in laws.

[B]

Huh.

[C]

Also, cul de sac. The plural of cul de sac. Kohl's de sac.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

It's like surgeons general or attorneys general.

[A]

Yeah. Why would you need to pluralize cul de sac?

[C]

Well, how. Well, how many coals to sack do you think there are in the city, if you want to ask that question?

[A]

Yeah, that's a great.

[C]

I mean, how many c have you seen?

[A]

But if somebody said how many cul de sacs are in the city, would you know what they mean?

[C]

I would make it a whole thing. Yeah. I'm about to rock your world right now. Take a seat, buddy.

[B]

I recently got. Speaking of Southwest, I got promoted to a list on Southwest.

[C]

All right, you'll get the preferred one day.

[B]

And I did. Yeah. I haven't got to list preferred yet, but I didn't know what it. It was like, what my benefits were. I've been checking in for my flights on Southwest. I'm like, man, I am killing it. Like, I've been getting up to check in. I'm like, boom. Yeah, a 15 again.

[C]

You know, because you're automatic a 15 to a 60 now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, something like that.

[C]

Isn't that a load off your mind, though, not having to check in on this at a certain time?

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

And I, you know, there's still some people I tweeted about. There's still some people, I don't know, upset, trepidatious about Southwest moving away from open seating. I've been booking flights. January 25th is the last day of.

[A]

Open seating because I've still not booked a Flight that.

[B]

Me neither is not open.

[C]

I think the 25th or the 26th is the last day. So I had some flights in February and March that I booked where I was able to pick the seat, and that's kind of fun. But I'll tell you what, my flight this weekend, dude in front of me saved a seat in the exit row for his wife who was in the C group. And it just made me so mad that I was like, all right, well, at least I won't have to. To deal with this.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. You cannot leave. I mean, our society is not good now, so you can't. You can't trust people. People will abuse the system. Yeah. You try to make a decent system for people, they'll abuse it. Yeah, society's. It's gone down the drain.

[C]

I agree.

[A]

And, yeah, so I've come around to Southwest, though, I will say, because I just got so tired of connecting and Southwest has all the direct flights, so I've been flying more and more with Southwest, and I've really come around to it.

[C]

And there. Yeah, I like. There's, like, a good energy on those flights, I think.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I like the flight attendants. I like the people at the.

[A]

If I can't get direct, I will book with a different airline. I don't want to have to do the boarding process twice in one day.

[C]

Yeah, that's great.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[B]

AMANDA J. BOA Dusty's hair looks amazing. I'd love to know what he uses. I just started using solid shampoo and conditioner bars. I really like them. But I'm curious of Dusty's hair routine.

[A]

Well, I'll be honest with you. I don't use. I mean, I just think my hair is good, I guess. I. I mean. I mean, I mean that, that, that, that I'm like, I'm not doing anything special to make it. I use a lot of head and shoulders, but I do. I will go, you know, a few days without washing my hair. They say that's good for the hair, you know, to not wash it every day.

[C]

You lucked out on that one, because I don't.

[A]

And, you know, I fast a little bit, too. They say fast can be good.

[C]

Do you have good hair or is it just long? I mean that with all due respect.

[A]

I think it is good.

[C]

Is it. I mean, how do you judge if a hair is good?

[A]

Well, there's people with long hair that you go, that's not.

[B]

Is thickness, I guess.

[A]

Thickness. Yeah. Some people's Hairs real can be real stringy and shiny.

[C]

Is yours voluminous?

[A]

I guess so. Yeah.

[C]

That's pretty.

[A]

That's not how I would pronounce it, but I guess I would change it and just say it has a lot of volume.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I, I, I use head and shoulders most of the time, but that's because in the past I had a little dandruff going on, and I also had a lot of acne. Like 10 years ago, I had a lot of acne around my beard, and it was, like, real hard, and I could not get it to go away. And I went to a dermatologist, and she gave me a prescription, and I said, how long do I take this? And she said, well, we find when people stop taking it, it comes back and I go, okay, well, I'm not going to be taking this pill forever. Right. So I got the prescription, and then I got a topical cream that she gave me. And then she said to use head and shoulders. When you're washing your hair, work a little lavender, rub it in your beard and on your face. And that's what I do now.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

When I, when I wash my hair, wash my beard like that, do a little bit in there, and I have no problems.

[C]

Now, Amanda, you got a lot more than you thought you'd get, I bet.

[A]

But my, my niece told me that she dyed her hair blue or something one time and that to get the coloring out, they told her to use head and shoulders, to strip. To strip it. So she's like, that's wild. They told you to put that on your face. But it's the best. It's some kind of, you know, the paint thinner. Yeah, the, the, the chemical that helps keep dandruff away is, whatever it is, is good for acne. It's all digestion stuff, though. It's. Everything wrong with our skin is all digestion related. And my digestion is a, a train wreck.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's going on in here? Real mess here. Looks good in here. Real disaster.

[B]

Do you remember S out live. Billy Crystal used to have a character that said it's more important to look good than to feel good.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I would disagree, but I don't know what to do. So.

[B]

Yeah. Josh Horton. Guys like Plato, Plato. Plato.

[C]

Treat it like a D. Guys like.

[B]

Plato and Aristotle actually contributed what? Dusty.

[A]

I would just think that would be more like Plato. P L A D O. Plato.

[C]

That's how you would say it.

[A]

Because Play doh. You know, the, the, the Molding clay.

[C]

That's P L A Y. D O U H. Yeah.

[A]

Play. Yeah, play. D'oh.

[C]

Oh, right. It's named after him.

[A]

Was it?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

I bet it had an influence. Guys like my digestion, by the way, it comes and goes. I don't want you to think that it's a total train wreck here, but it comes and goes.

[B]

Okay. I was wondering about that.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I'm okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Also, I want to apologize. P L A Y D O, H. That's how you spell it. It was not named after I said D O, U, G, H. It was not named after Plato.

[A]

Well, I bet there was some influence, though.

[B]

Yeah. How could there not be?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Josh Horton. Sorry, Josh. Guys like Plato and Aristotle actually contributed significantly to our system of laws in many law schools. Still today, one of the foundational courses will study the writings and teachings of these philosophers. I thought Dusty would appreciate a more specific answer to how we're affected by their teachings in America today.

[A]

Well, I do appreciate that, Josh and I, and. And thank you for doing that. I went home and talked to my wife about it, and she gave me. I. This was weeks ago when this happened, but she gave me a good rundown on these guys, and I felt pretty satisfactory.

[C]

Oh, good, good.

[A]

Because I was asked to. See. Sometimes I think that you guys think when I ask you a question that. That I'm just trying to be, you know, undermine the whole conversation.

[B]

Antagonist.

[C]

Undermining is not the word. But you were asking it as if. If you were asking. As if to say, guys, Huey, these guys.

[A]

Well, that's what I mean, that's.

[C]

Well, who are these idiots?

[A]

Well, sometimes I am like. Well, yeah. Why? Why, like, what did they do that, you know, made you. Makes them so highly respected.

[C]

It's about toned us.

[A]

And I was looking. Yeah, that's what you gotta go. Well, what.

[C]

Hey, what did.

[A]

So what did everyone in my life says to me? They go, oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You're very accusatory.

[A]

Yeah. Everybody thinks I'm yelling at them. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah, the Plato.

[A]

Do a lot.

[C]

Did he do a lot? Okay. Yeah, I'm sure he did a lot.

[A]

Everybody in my whole life thinks I'm yelling at him.

[C]

This is just how I didn't think you were yelling. I thought there was. There was kind of a twisted sense of condescension.

[A]

Well, I want to know, though, like, what. What do you know? And so I talked to her about it, so she really gave me. Yeah, she gave me some insight on it.

[B]

What did she say?

[A]

I don't remember, but she. She was like. They were very, you know, influential.

[C]

They got it done.

[A]

Yeah. And I knew that. I know you know that, but I wanted to know what your answer would be.

[B]

I listened to a podcast on the way home, a theology podcast, and the guy said that these two influenced modern day Christianity more than they should. Like their teachings is leaked in.

[C]

Who said that? What podcast is this?

[B]

It's a guy from my church.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But he, He's a theology. Yeah.

[C]

So like Thomas Aquinas is all. He just like took every model and. Okay, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And kind of combined the two. But. But his point was a lot of the stuff that most Christians believes in the Bible very often is not. It's just their influence.

[C]

Okay, interesting.

[A]

People love to. I find that in modern day Christianity, they love to quote every book but the Bible. They love to dig in. They go, this guy said this? Yeah, yeah. I don't. You know, so I feel like we should really be digging into the Bible.

[B]

Or at least the Old Testament.

[A]

At least the most.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Or the only book. Yeah. I mean, to your point, it'd be.

[C]

Tough if that was the only book you could ever read, though.

[A]

No, not that you could ever read, but I mean, you know, you go.

[C]

To a restaurant, like, do you want to see a menu? And you go, I gotta order out of the Bible right here. Well, yeah, I guess it's fishes and bread again.

[A]

Biblical. Yeah. No pork, no shellfish. Come on, guys.

[B]

He gave him a platform.

[A]

Yeah. Come on, guys.

[B]

Come on, guys.

[A]

Jackie, medals in your business.

[B]

Do you think Aaron will be at Taylor and Travis's wedding? And will you all be invited to John Chris wedding? He can't forget Dusty. This time.

[A]

I'm certain I won't be invited.

[B]

Yeah, I am too.

[A]

To either of these.

[C]

I don't know if any of us will get invited.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I think me, you and Nate will. I already got my invitation.

[C]

You gotta keep the bit going at this point. You know, I can't invite Dusty now.

[A]

I. Yeah, I. I would. Yeah, I would rather. I think it would be better to not get invited because it would feel like they put thought into that. They go, now we're gonna not do it on purpose.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[A]

Because I like when people don't invite me to their weddings and events and then I see all my friends posting on Instagram at the event and I go, oh, that's all my friends.

[C]

Do you like that?

[A]

Yeah, I think that's a lot of fun.

[B]

Aaron, you had a wedding crusher. At your party, at your wedding. And I think this person took John seat, if I remember correctly.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But I was glad he was there. He was kind of the life of the party.

[B]

Yeah, I think everybody loved who's there except John. What about Taylor and Travis?

[C]

I'm open for an invite if I get it. If I get it. Man. Never met Travis.

[B]

But you and Tay Tay are pretty close, right?

[C]

That's what I call her day.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Surge.

[B]

Surge. I don't often agree with Dusty, but this is an exception.

[A]

You know how many people say that when they write in, when they write, when they make comments?

[C]

They have to qualify.

[A]

That's the most common.

[C]

Normally, I think Dusty's an absolute. But I'll give them this now.

[B]

They usually say I don't always agree with Dusty, but. And then even though they're agreeing with him, Dusty still attacks them, like, well, why wouldn't you agree with me every time?

[C]

Yeah, this guy's trying to give you props, dude.

[A]

I will talk.

[C]

Let's hear what he has to say.

[B]

The feel like temperature is ridiculous. I understand Aaron's hot shower to pool explanation, but Dusty nailed his counter argument. The weather reporter tells us the feels like temperature is basically saying, we'll all feel it this way. So why is that not just the temperature?

[A]

Well, that's exactly right. Thank you, Serge. Well, and Serge, I think if you, you know, dug into other things that I'm saying, you would find that you would often agree with me. You just hear it and you go, that's ridiculous that he thinks that. And then you start digging into it a little bit. This is typing. Start digging into a little bit. And you go, wait a minute, this guy's on to something here. And then the next thing you know, you're like, you'll be, you know, listening to my personal podcast. Yeah.

[C]

You're two hours into a YouTube documentary and you're like, oh, no.

[A]

Yeah. And then we'll be friends.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you'll be enlightened.

[C]

See you on the other side, Serge.

[A]

Yeah, Come on, Serge. You can do it. You can do it. Just think of it all things like that. Yeah. This is what they're telling you, but it feels like this.

[B]

Don't drive too close to the edge. You could fall off.

[A]

Like Marty Wall. You could fall off of.

[B]

Great segue, Dusty. Marty Wall. Hey, Brian, while researching tobacco, look up how many Marlboro man models die from lung cancer. Well, thank you, Marty. That's a great segue.

[C]

Or just tell us in the comment, Marty, if you already know the information.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Save me some time. Don't make me do all the work. Yeah, you're right. I retract that. Marty, go away. Today we are talking about tobacco.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Well, that seemed a little over the top.

[A]

I gotta be honest. That is cool.

[C]

Thanks, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you know the scene in Breaking Bad where he threw a pizza on the roof?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You ever watched the show?

[A]

But it's been a long time.

[C]

He has a big pizza and his wife won't let him in the house. And in anger, he kind of throws it up in the air and it lands perfectly on the roof. Yeah, that actually happened. And I think it was an accident. Oh, and they just left it in.

[A]

That's cool.

[C]

And then people. It was an epidemic. For years. People would come to that house in real life and try to throw a pizza on the the roof. And the owner would be out there with like a shotgun going, don't come near my house.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

I hope they didn't catch on fire.

[C]

But I threw papers in the air and they got stuck into the light sign behind me. We'll be all right.

[A]

Now they don't even make lights dangerous anymore. I bet those are not even hot.

[C]

We used to have a great country. Things used to burn down all the time.

[B]

Serge, you got to get on board it now. They got surge protectors.

[C]

That's what I'm talking about, guys.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack sponsor. No other snack sponsors, just IQ Bar.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

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[A]

Right?

[B]

The Ultimate Sampler Pack is a great way to try all IQ bar products and flavors. You get nine IQ bars, eight IQ mix sticks, and four IQ joe sticks. All IQ bar products are entirely free from gluten, dairy, soy GMOs, and artificial sweeteners. Dusty, you gotta love that.

[A]

I do love that.

[B]

With over 20, 0005 star reviews and counting, more people than ever are fueling their busy lifestyles with IQ Bars, Brain and body boosting bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Their Ultimate Sampler pack includes all three. And right now, IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off of all IQ Bar products, including the Sampler Pack, plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, text Nate to 64,000. Text Nate to 64,000. That's Nate to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. So this week we're Talking about tobacco, there's over around 1 billion tobacco users in the world today.

[C]

Is that down or up? I know it's down.

[B]

I gotta think it's down.

[A]

That's a. I know it's well super timed cough.

[C]

It sure was.

[B]

I'm the one that's got the black lung.

[C]

I know it's down in America, but is it down all over the world?

[B]

Yeah, I don't know. It's a good. Maybe some countries it's up. I think China.

[C]

Marty Wall to write in with some of that info though.

[B]

Now, I think I've shared this a long time ago on this podcast. You guys both smoked at one time? I've never smoked, but I got nicotine poisoning one time.

[A]

Oh yeah. Purple gum.

[B]

No, I used to, in. In college in the summertime when I'd come home, I just. Because of my cough.

[A]

No, it's just that you have nicotine poisoning. And I just like how this is leading up. Sometimes in college when I would come home, it just. It almost feels like it's gearing up for a real edgy story. Yeah.

[B]

And you know it won't be because it's me. Well, you're correct.

[C]

Me and my friends, we all threw in five bucks.

[B]

Dare you to try some dip.

[C]

We split a splisher.

[B]

Sweet.

[C]

Splish or sweet?

[B]

I would help tobacco farmers grow their tobacco. Oh, and that's cool. Yeah. So I know the whole process of growing tobacco.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And. Or at least from 30 years ago when I was helping them. I'm sure it's changed some now.

[A]

Yeah, now they're probably putting a lot.

[B]

Of chemicals in it, but one. One day we were out there spraying the leaves for. Yeah. With chemicals for pests and things like that. And it rained and the leaves were really wet and we were going through, you know, doing whatever. And then that night I got sick and I called my friend and I said, I. I mean, I'm throwing up everything. I can't make it tomorrow. He's like, I'm sick. And another guy that was with us was sick. And his theory, I can't prove it, is that somehow the wet leaves that got into our pores and made us sick.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, you can. You can consume tobacco through the skin like that. I remember hearing stories about patches are. Yeah, sure.

[A]

What dip basically is.

[C]

I remember hearing stories about pledges at fraternities where they would. They made a kid. He taped a whole can of dip in his. Each armpit with duct tape and then they made him run suicides. I don't know if that's true. All this stuff gets embellished, but I remember thinking, that sounds like a complete and total nightmare. Yeah, but I would. That wouldn't be surprised if that's how it happened.

[A]

I mean, I don't know that I've ever had nicotine poisoning, but I've for sure had too much nicotine, where I'm like. You just feel, like, totally overwhelmed. They say you can eat chocolate and that'll help, like, soothe that out, like a dark chocolate.

[C]

Oh, dark chocolate.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, in Harry Potter, you eat dark chocolate, and that'll help you with.

[A]

Some stuff, like magic.

[C]

If you get. If you get. If you get attacked by a dementor, you can have dark chocolate, and that'll help you get back to where you need to be.

[A]

That's interesting.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The Bible and Harry Potter, the two things you should read.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right, Dusty?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If I got to order from the Bible and Harry Potter, then I could have all kinds of stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So there you go. I. I'm the bad boy of I love.

[A]

Well, you know what? That story turned around because to know that you were actually. Tobacco farming is pretty cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you guys want to know the process?

[A]

I do.

[C]

Want to know. It's toasted. You watch Mad Men?

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

So this part I wasn't there for, but I guess they plant seeds, which we call tobacco slips. So then.

[C]

Slips.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know why it's called that, but you pull those up once they get to a certain level, and you pull them up and put them in a basket, whatever. Then it's time for tobacco setting. Now, that was my favorite part. You get on a tobacco setter on the back of a tractor, and this wheel goes around, and you and the guy beside you, you take turns feeding this wheel, and it circles around and. And buries it in the road.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

This a pick more from your era, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's kind of what y' all were using.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

And that guy kind of looks like my uncle on that tractor. Not gonna lie.

[B]

That that was my favorite part of it. Because you're sitting, talking to your buddy, and it's just very methodical.

[C]

Did you drive the thing or you like, what was.

[B]

I would sit on the back and. And since I'm a left lefty, that was great, because most people righty, so, you know, I'd stand the other side and.

[A]

And.

[C]

Oh, that's great.

[B]

It was fun.

[C]

How many times is being a lefty work to your advantage in life or do you feel like it mostly works to your disadvantage or do you not think about it anymore?

[B]

I don't think about it much, but I don't know, I kind of like it.

[A]

The only disadvantage.

[C]

Oh, you're one too?

[A]

Yeah. The only disadvantage I ever had, I felt like growing up was if we were trying to play pickup baseball and I didn't have my own glove.

[C]

You need a left handed bat.

[A]

They would be. There would be no glove for me.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, that is true.

[B]

And golf that way.

[C]

Golf's that way. What about a spiral notebook? You ever have trouble with that?

[A]

Yeah. I mean you. Yeah, your hands all in the spirals and then you're dragging your hand across what you're writing. So you got a lot of graphite. Yeah.

[C]

Could never be me, dude. I refuse to live life like that, man.

[A]

Well, you know, you got to be different sometimes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But. All right, so.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

Let me see though. So what next? When the tobacco starts to grow.

[B]

So then it grow. Then I. From what I remember then, it's just kind of a process of keeping any parasites off or any insects or they had little. I can't remember what it was called, but there were some things that would grow on it that you had to break off, like, go through.

[A]

And like garlic has a little thing, a stem that comes out and you have to break it off so that everything goes down to the garlic bulb.

[B]

Yeah. There's those little things you had to weed out. I can't remember exactly what it was called. And then eventually, once it gets to a certain level, it's time to cut the tobacco. That was my least favorite part.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And you take a little hatchet and you just cut it, the stalk and lay it out. And then. And then you spike it.

[C]

And you.

[B]

There's a spike and you put it on there and wait.

[A]

Well, what do you mean? There's a.

[B]

There's like a. There's a. Basically a stick with a spike.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Come out of the top. And you take the stalk and put it.

[A]

Oh. And you stack them on there like that. Okay. Okay.

[B]

And then.

[A]

Yeah, that sounds miserable. It's probably real hot out there.

[B]

Very hot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I think you let them dry out a little bit, then you eventually hang them in the barn. And that's to cure it. Where. I don't know the whole process. But then.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You got literally things up there to hang it. Like a laundry, animals.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Dry cleaner, where you hang it up. And then I think that's about the price. And Then eventually you take it to the market to sell it.

[C]

Oh, y' all would just sell it raw.

[B]

I didn't do that part, but give.

[A]

Her take a little piece off, try to chew it. Nothing like that.

[C]

Can you just chew it off the plant?

[A]

Like, I don't know.

[B]

Well, I did a little history on tobacco. I didn't realize tobacco is such an American. It is American invention.

[A]

Yeah. Like, you know, I, I do believe that's what Native American. I don't know, I never looked into it. But a lot of, like, a lot of people like to think it was, you know, drugs or whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I do think it was tobacco in the so called peace pipe. I don't know if that's a terminology people use now, but. And I think because you get sort of a buzz off tobacco and I think for sure we abuse it now. But, you know, if you're sitting around at night and you've packed, you know, a pipe with tobacco and you're taking pulls off of it, it gives you a bit of a euphoric feeling that could feel like you're almost having some spiritual experience.

[B]

Yeah. They. When Columbus arrived in the New World, the Native Americans gave him fruit, food, spears and dried leaves. A tobacco plant.

[A]

And that's why I like it.

[C]

And we all lived happily ever after.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's why I like tobacco because it's real American stuff and they didn't know.

[B]

What it was and it wasn't edible.

[A]

And jazz comedy tobacco, that's America.

[C]

Baseball.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, I've heard that too. Jazz, comedy, baseball, though. Baseball, some people think came from cricket. Oh. Anyway, they threw the leaves over the ship. They're like, I don't know what this is. We don't need it. Got rid of it. But some of his other explorers finally tried something like, hey, this isn't stuff rules bad. This is not bad at all.

[A]

I like those guys. The guy who goes, you know what you've been throwing this over, I'm going to smoke this.

[B]

He saw Native American smoking. He's like, let me give it a try.

[C]

How did they figure out how to smoke?

[A]

Smoke it.

[B]

Natives.

[C]

Yeah. Was it just like a field? Something got caught on fire once and then some guy inhaled some of the smoke and I was like, that's pretty nice.

[A]

Before phones, iPhones, I mean there was a lot of time on your hands and you were like, I guess you.

[C]

Were just trying stuff.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Let's go and handle some things before.

[B]

The last 15 years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everything could happen.

[A]

Yeah. There's a lot of Inventions going on back then. Now only a certain select group of people invent things, and the rest of us just enjoy the inventions.

[C]

We're just slaves to those inventions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So this guy, he developed a smoking habit and he went back to Europe and started, you know, throwing it off there. And they thought he was a demon because smoke was coming out of his mouth. And they said only the devil could give a man the power to exhale smoke from his mouth. And they arrested him for seven years.

[C]

Did they not see him take a hit?

[A]

Hit.

[B]

Doesn't matter, Aaron.

[A]

That's classic.

[C]

I mean, he took a hit and then ghosted it and then just waited.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Till other people around and then exhaled.

[A]

Just this war on tobacco is just too. It's unbelievable.

[C]

They don't even know what tobacco is.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm saying that, you know, they're arresting him for smoking.

[C]

I thought you'd be on board with this. This part of it.

[A]

N. Yeah, I'm. I'm.

[B]

He's torn because he loves smoking, but he hates the devil.

[A]

I'm against the devil and real demons, but this guy's just smoking.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like. It's a real overreaction.

[C]

That's just having a smoke.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But the time he got out of jail, seven years later, smoking had taken off in Europe. Wow.

[C]

He had to serve a full sentence.

[B]

I mean, I don't know if that was his sentence, but he was released seven years later, it said.

[C]

And what did they lock him up? On what grounds? That he was a demon?

[B]

Yeah, it said the Spanish Inquisition for his sinful and infernal habits.

[C]

Spanish. It was a bit of a mess.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then in 1563, a Swiss doctor reported that chewing or smoking tobacco leaf has a wonderful power, producing a kind of peaceful drunkenness.

[A]

I wouldn't call it drunkenness, but it is a peaceful euphoric feeling. You only get that drunkenness if you've consumed too much, like I do. Yeah.

[C]

Or you do it at. While you're drinking it.

[A]

Yes, yes. You know, I've laid down on the curb in a city many times being too drunk and having a cigarette cross faded with.

[B]

That's it. I've smoked a cigar two or three times in my life, all right?

[C]

Once with Dusty, twice with me.

[B]

Oh, well, that's true. So maybe more.

[C]

Four times.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You're out of control.

[B]

Yeah, you're right. You're right. Maybe four times. We last year applied for life insurance, my wife and I, and they send someone to your house to interview you, and they are very Thorough about your medical history and how healthy you are before they approve you for.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And they even have a person who talks you through it to try to help best help you pass. Which is kind of weird that it's their company just. Yeah, you know, whatever.

[C]

Can't trust that.

[B]

And she said, don't look, don't lie, don't hold back. Because these people will. They'll search your Internet history and they'll.

[C]

Listen to the podcast social media, find the episode about you smoking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So last year I'm hanging out with Dusty after a show. We're smoking in the back parking lot here at Zany's in the back of his pickup truck. And Zany takes a picture of it and posted it on social media. So.

[A]

And that was my once a month cigar that I like to have. Yeah, sure.

[B]

So when the lady comes to my house like two or three days later, I, you know, she's like, how often do you smoke? I'm like, two or three times in my life. And she's like, when's the last time? I'm like, two days ago. Which sounds like I'm lying. Like, you know, two days ago. Bottom line, when it finally comes back to my thing, they've given me a higher rate. It says because of tobacco use. Whoa. So Dusty cost me money. Wow.

[C]

I think the Zany social media people cost you.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta.

[B]

I blame all of you.

[A]

Lie about it.

[C]

Yeah, you should lie.

[A]

You go, I don't know. I don't do it very often. I couldn't even tell you.

[C]

I don't even think that's a lie. That's just like, let's not make it overly complicated.

[B]

I was afraid they would see that social media post and like, well, he's clearly lying. If you said five years ago, there's one from you three.

[A]

Cigars are not the same thing as cigarette cigarettes.

[B]

Now, we did counter back and we're like, look, I don't smoke. And they're like, oh, that. She kind of said that, that this says tobacco use, but that doesn't really mean that. That's just your rate anyway. But yeah, I believe Dusty and zanies for my misfortune.

[A]

Well, you know, it costs money to be cool.

[C]

Being cool ain't free, Brian.

[B]

Yeah, I got to hang out with some cool guys.

[C]

So I guess all worth it.

[B]

It was worth it. Yeah, it was worth it. Yeah. The first time was pretty disastrous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I wanted to redeem myself, actually.

[A]

What was funny about that is there was a guy that we were hanging out with that was my friend from Opelika back in the day when we were into some stuff. And so it's funny, like, to see the opposite. The mystery, my. The. The friends that I used to hang out with and then the friends I hang out with now. It was. It was fun to say.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I remember that guy.

[A]

Both great people.

[C]

Right. World's colliding, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It takes all kinds of people for this world, right.

[A]

Yeah. A guy that was hanging with that has smoked all sorts of things, and then a guy who's like.

[B]

Who couldn't light his cigar, kept going.

[C]

Out, both paying the same for life insurance.

[A]

Yeah. Because the other guy would lie about it.

[B]

Yeah. I remember asking you, I said, I bet he had a pretty bumping sound system in his car when you guys were young. You're like, nah, he didn't have a car.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think he did. I don't think he did.

[B]

So then tobacco starts taking off, and John Rolfe, who we've talked about before, Jamestown colony, he started the first success successfully raising tobacco on his own. They called it brown gold here in America. This is when it kind of takes a dark turn in the sense that they used to have indentured servants, and then they. They needed so much labor for these tobacco farms, they started bringing slaves over.

[C]

And.

[B]

That's right. That was their main job, was working in tobacco fields.

[C]

Where is this? Virginia.

[B]

Virginia in the Carolinas.

[C]

Is that still where most of the tobacco is farmed in that area? I know we got some in Tennessee, obviously, but.

[B]

Yeah. When Leon Morgan was on a few weeks ago, if Dusty was here, I was going to do tobacco then because she grew up around tobacco. Raising tobacco.

[C]

Yeah. Fire tobacco.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You know, the thing about it is, you know, if everybody just had their own tobacco that they raised themselves, and you didn't need this John Roth or whatever, being like, I'm going to do all the tobacco, then you wouldn't need that slave labor. You would just be like, oh, I got a. You know, I got a little patch. I got a little tobacco patch. And, you know, we grow our own each year. But, you know, when a guy goes, no, I'm gonna do all the tobacco and I'm gonna make all the profits. Yeah, then you need. I need slaves now. And it's like they try to justify it. Oh, it's just too much work. And it's like, well, don't raise that much. Yeah. Pay people right. Lunatic. Don't blame tobacco for slavery. Lunatic.

[B]

Chewing.

[A]

Not you, John Roth.

[C]

It's The Pocahontas guy, right?

[B]

Yeah. I think he's the one that married her.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. This guy had a lot of questionable qualities. Was you 12?

[B]

She was young.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Come on. Young, buddy. Chewing tobacco really took off during the Civil War. Soldiers couldn't be out there smoking cigarettes, so they would just start putting it in their mouth and chewing it, spitting wherever they're at.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then when civ's over, they Shaw chaw.

[C]

Right. That's what I think of, like, chewing tobacco. I think of ch.

[A]

Yeah. Chewing tobacco is where you have the big leaves. Like, it's in the bag. You put that. And you put that in the. And you actually do chew.

[C]

Like big league chew. Yes, that. That kind of.

[A]

Yeah. But you actually. That's what my dad did all growing up. My dad did Red man tobacco. And Taylor's pride was his two brands.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

My dad did daiso work. You were. It wasn't like he had only. There's only a couple of stores in Lebanon that even sold. It was, I think, pretty intense tobacco days. Oh, work like. Yeah, yeah, I think that's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There is that.

[B]

Is it right there.

[C]

Old timey. Look at this. Old.

[B]

Yeah, but he would.

[A]

Oh, you would bite it off.

[B]

Yeah, well, he would cut it off. Off.

[A]

Oh. Levi Garrett was also another brand that my dad would get into. But yeah, one of them would have the. It would be in a block like that, and it would have the leaf around it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you. Yeah, you could just bite it off or you could pick it off. Yeah. Or cut it.

[B]

My dad used to smoke cigars. My mom would complain about all the smoke in the house, and then he switched to chewing tobacco and he was so gross. So he would leave spit cups just around the house everywhere.

[A]

Yeah, it's a gross. Chewing tobacco is great. I mean, I. I never got into chewing tobacco, though. There's so much spit. My dad would sit out on the porch. We would go sit out on the front porch. He lives on a fairly. He's way out in the country, but the street's fairly busy. It's a state highway.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you just sit out there in the front porch in the rocking chairs, and he would just spit off the edge.

[C]

My friend's dad was. We used to call it a guzzler.

[B]

What's that?

[C]

He would just swallow it.

[A]

My dad could do that a little bit, but. Yeah, I never. We never were into that. That. And then we, you know, we stole a pack of chewing tobacco, me and my buddies. Classic story. Every little country kid Went off in the woods and we all got dizzy. Yeah.

[C]

It's like the sandlot.

[B]

My uncle, I think he still does is dip skull for ever. My whole life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't see as much dipping now. Maybe I'm just around different.

[A]

Everybody's doing like zins and stuff.

[C]

Vapes.

[A]

The vape dip is what I call it.1, but I like Kodiak Wintergreen. That was my favorite.

[C]

The vape of dip.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So 1948, a British doctor published the first study that proved that smoking could cause serious health damage. I know you still say it's still.

[C]

So this guy probably got assassinated.

[B]

Right.

[A]

For posting no cigarettes. I believe are. Are bad. Yeah, I think. But this is what I think too, even about cigarettes. It's like, yeah, don't have 20 in a day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is hard to do.

[C]

That's a full pack.

[A]

But I think they're make. They. I don't know. I feel like they make cigarettes highly addictive. I feel like if you just had good organic tobacco that you rolled up yourself and just enjoyed one. At the end of the day, it's not that big of a deal, but if you're, you know, you're chief and a pack. Two packs a day. Yeah. You're With a filter on it. Probably a lot of chemicals in there. And who knows what's in the paper these days.

[C]

I remember. I remember I was at a cab once. It was in college. And I'm in the cab and this woman is vaping up front. I go, how long you been vaping? She goes, I've been vaping for a few months now. I cut my smoking down a bunch and I go, what are you down to? She goes, man, when I started, I was at seven packs a day.

[A]

Oh, gee.

[C]

She goes, I'm down to five. It's like that. That's still.

[A]

That's insane.

[C]

Cigarettes a day. Shout out. Goldie.

[A]

When I was drinking.

[C]

I don't think that was Goldie, actually.

[A]

When I was drinking heavy. I do. I could do a pack and a half in a day. But usually I was at about a pack a day. But even that was killing me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cigarettes took off seven packs a day.

[C]

I mean. I mean, that doesn't sound like a real number.

[A]

How do you. How you even doing that?

[C]

Thank God that vape's cutting it down. Saved her 40 cigarettes a day.

[A]

She's doing a carton every two days. Yeah.

[C]

How you. Yeah. The cost of this alone is crazy.

[B]

What's a pack of cigarettes cost?

[A]

I haven't bought a pack in a long time.

[C]

They're like. If you look at that gas station next to Zany's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Everything back there is like around 10.

[B]

Bucks for a pack.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That's expensive.

[C]

I remember, go to New York or Chicago, it's over 20 in a lot of places. $20 a pack.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Rick Roberts used to have a joke about. He went to New York and tried by a pack of cigarettes and couldn't afford it. It. And they had a jar there for lung cancer. You're like, well, you know, I'm going to need this. Anyway, so we took some out to pay for.

[C]

Oh, that's funny.

[B]

Cigarettes.

[A]

The. I remember parliaments. You used to get parliaments. Buy one, get one free for like $3.

[C]

Buy one, get one.

[A]

They would sell. They had the pack. They sold them together. Yeah. Buy one, get one free. They're like three bucks about. I mean. I mean. And I don't mean six for two.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Three bucks. Wow.

[C]

Things have changed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when health concerns about cigarettes began to receive public attention, tobacco companies started hiring doctors to advertise their cigarettes on tv. Isn't that crazy?

[A]

Yeah, it's crazy that we would even trust them. Now we go, oh, you used to advertise cigarettes, and now you. Oh, but now your credibility's back.

[B]

Now you put head and shoulders on your face.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Well, it actually worked.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But cigarettes took off. And during the first and Second World War, cigarette companies would actually send them in the rations to soldiers overseas.

[C]

I think they would say, if you're a soldier over there and you got, you know, a case of Lucky Strikes sent to you, you're like, well, now I'm a Lucky Strike man for life. When I come back to America, that's the only brand I'm buying.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Build some brand loyalty that way.

[B]

Yeah. The. Yeah.

[A]

I'm not against that.

[B]

I mean, that's what they were going up against. You got to do what you got to do to.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you're in a middle of a war. Have a cigarette.

[B]

I agree with that. The Christmas poem. Twas the night before Christmas. Sorry. Because of how I said it.

[A]

I just will never forget it.

[B]

Yeah. Christmas, the Christmas story.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

There was a lot. I think they took it out. That said, the stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.

[C]

I like that.

[B]

Talking about Santa.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then.

[C]

Oh, so Santa used to have a pipe.

[B]

Yeah. With smoke.

[C]

I don't know if I've ever seen Santa depicted that way with a background.

[B]

There's an image of Santa with the pipe.

[A]

I mean a pipe even. Especially again if you can buy good organic tobacco. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I don't know if those are. Yeah, maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You just used to leave tobacco out for him. Yeah, he'd throw in a lip.

[A]

He'd rather have that than cookies. I'll tell you. He's like, I'm delivering presents to everyone in the country and we're in the world. I guess I don't need all these cookies.

[C]

You know that feeling when you're doom scrolling and suddenly it's an hour later and you feel worse and you got nothing done and you can feel your brain rewiring itself to something evil and destructive every day. We've all been there. But lately I've been swapping that habit for something that's making me feel so much better. Masterclass. With Masterclass you can learn from the best to become your best. With plans starting at $10 a month build annually you'll get unlimited access to over 200 classes taught by the world's best leaders, writers, chefs, artists and more. You get thousands of bite sized lessons across 13 categories that can fit into even the busiest schedules. Abigail, who you know is one of our producers, started taking Shea McGee's classes for interior design. She just moved and she was like I gotta starting from scratch. It's kind of fun maybe to do this the right way. She says the classes helped her and saved her money. Instead of hiring an interior designer, she's learning how to do it on her own. I also recommend Aaron Sorkin's writing masterclass if you're, if you're Sorkin file like myself. Plus every new membership comes with 30 day money back guarantee so there's no risk. Right now our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual [e-mail] Nate that's 15% [e-mail] natemasterclass.com.com Nate so I think.

[B]

Aaron, you've asked me, I don't know if you were joking or serious. If I remember smoking on planes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which I don't.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

But they started banning it with domestic flight shorter than two hours in 1988. So I could have remembered it if I ever had phone it was expanded include domestic flights under six hours in 1990 and by 2000 there was complete ban smoking on domestic and international flights.

[A]

About what year?

[C]

So late 2000.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

2000, man.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I mean I'm, I'm all about smoking. I support it But I would not want it on a plane.

[B]

But you said it's bad for you.

[A]

No, no, I'm just saying I support people doing it. I think cigarettes, the way they're being manufactured, and I think that's bad. But I'm all about people being able to do it. But I wouldn't want it on a plane is my point. Yeah.

[C]

I think we're all happy with the system now.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Pretty happy. Yeah.

[B]

Restaurants too.

[A]

Like, the airport has a smoking lounge. The Nashville airport. And I. If I have a later flight, I get really excited about it. And you go in there and it is like. I'm like, oh, it's gross. What an awful room in here.

[C]

There's like dudes in there with laptops smoking on, doing work.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like the WI fi doesn't work good. You can't find a charger in there. There's no cutters or lighters in there. I'm bumming stuff off people in there and I'm like, this is awful. I don't even know what I'm doing. I feel.

[C]

Sounds like you're fun for the other guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Too.

[A]

I feel terrible.

[C]

Oh, that bubble light this guy out of here. Dude.

[B]

It's like the mothership in Austin.

[A]

No, it's. No, that's.

[C]

That's well ventilated.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There was a cigarette mascot in the 40s and 50s called Mr. Sig, and he would visit hospitals.

[A]

See, I was told this was AI I don't know if this is true or not. I was told that this was an AI Image. No.

[C]

Oh, yeah, look at that. We got a little. This guy ran into an AI tester. This is 1% chance to say yeah, okay.

[A]

Oh, good. Well, I like it again. Now I. I love this though. I mean, again, when I. When I was drinking in the early 2000s in Charleston, we would be in bar. You could still smoke in bars. And they would have cigarette reps that would come around.

[C]

Uhhuh.

[A]

And they would like scan your ID and give you free cigarettes.

[C]

They still. They still go around gas stations and things.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, you'll still. Cuz it was so great. You just be hanging out at the bar and the cigarette rep would show up. We would be so happy to get some Camel Crushes.

[B]

The last cigarette ad on TV was during the Johnny Carson Tonight Show. Johnny Carson, 1971. And then they. They banned it.

[C]

And wouldn't he just smoke at the table?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow. Do you remember? I vaguely remember, like being at a restaurant and they have smoking Sections in the restaurant.

[B]

Yeah, I do remember that back.

[C]

And they go, you want to smoke, just do whatever. Ben Sawyer, Dr. Ben, who's been on the podcast, used to have a joke about. Yeah, you have it. A non smoking section at a restaurant. It's like having a non peeing section at a pool. Yeah, it's like. It'll get to you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it is true. I mean I used to, when I worked at Western Sizzling, there was smoking section. So I would wait tables in the smoking section.

[C]

I remember.

[B]

Yeah. Stopping at a Denny's in Kentucky. Like I want to say 10 years ago, probably longer than that, but not that long ago. And they still had smoking sections. Yeah, I don't know if anywhere now has a smoking section.

[A]

I haven't seen it in a long time. I, when I sold pesticides, I would go to Waffle House and sit in the smoking section and drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and write jokes.

[C]

Smoking section at a waffle.

[A]

Yeah, it's funny because it'd just be half the restaurant. Half was smoking.

[B]

The other half was not separated. It was separated by the counter. Like one end was smoking.

[A]

Yeah, sort of. Just. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. You might have been able to smoke in the whole place. I have no idea. I just, I just remember smoking in there.

[B]

So according to Wikipedia, five men who appeared in Marlboro ads have died of smoking related disease, thus earning marble cigarettes, specifically marble reds, the nickname Cowboy killers.

[A]

Yeah, we called them that because they were, you know, they were strong cigarettes, but they were good, you know, Marble red. I used to buy those sometimes when I'd go out drinking because I really wanted to feel it, you know, hard to feel a Maro light when you've been drinking a lot of Jack Daniels all night.

[C]

Well, how many Marlboro men were there? They said five died. Is that five for five? They all, I mean they all died eventually, but.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know how many, but I think they've had a bunch. Kramer was one on Seinfeld.

[C]

Well, how many Ronald McDonald's have died?

[B]

I bet more than five of eating McDonald's probably. Yeah.

[A]

And what's a smoking related disease?

[B]

Maybe secondhand smoke.

[C]

Secondhand smoke.

[A]

Because I had, you know, I had an uncle that died of some kind of, of, you know, lung related and he never smoked. He worked on brake pads on cars and he got a lot of brake dust in his lungs over there. Yeah.

[B]

When I was a kid, I had to look this up, see if this was even still a thing. Major league baseball players they all chew tobacco.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

It rip cigs in the dugout, too.

[B]

Jim Leland would. Yeah, would smoke cigarettes. And some other managers.

[A]

It was a NASCAR driver. I don't even want to say his name. His name seems real dirty. But it was his real name. But he was. He smoked in the car.

[C]

The Hooters guy.

[A]

His name was short for Richard Trickle.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I know him from your act.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But in 2016, Major League Baseball's collective bargaining agreement banned the use of smokeless tobacco, including chewing tobacco for all new big league players. So if you're already chewing, you got grandfather who did.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I remember Lenny Dykstra. I think it was played for the Phillies. I remember him.

[B]

The Mets and Phillies.

[A]

Yeah, I remember him. Really?

[B]

Always had, like a big.

[A]

Yeah. And another guy who was on the Phillies with him. Big guy. Real big guy, long hair. They were on the Ken Griffey. John Crock. Yeah, they were on the Ken Griffey Jr. Super Nintendo game. You remember that one?

[C]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

It was the best.

[B]

Yeah. Have you ever seen the photo from the super bowl of Lynn Dawson smoking on the sidelines?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The quarterback during the super bowl, during halftime, smoking.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And what is he drinking, a 7Up or a beer or what? What's he drinking?

[B]

I think that's Fresca.

[C]

Fresca quarterback during the suit. Imagine turning on and you see Patrick Mahomes just ripping a cig, drinking a Dr. Pepper.

[A]

Yeah, it's. Back then, these guys were probably just pretty good athletes. Now it's like. It's like there's a whole system of working out and diets and regimens. This guy's probably like, yeah, throw pretty.

[B]

Good.

[C]

You know, and boy's got an arm.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's all. That's all you worked on?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All right.

[B]

I try to look up cool cigarette moments in movies and TV shows because I feel like I've seen a bunch of them from TV shows. I don't know. It's cool. But guys who smoked Colombo.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Very cool.

[B]

Columbo is cool.

[A]

Very cool.

[C]

Was he a big fat guy?

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

Who am I thinking of? Kojak.

[B]

Yeah. You think of Kojak, he would. He had always had a lollipop.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Sounds more Colombo. What makes Colombo so cool is that Colombo played the idiot the whole show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He played an idiot while I gathered information. And at the very end, when he made the arrest, you could see that he was very serious. It got real serious because he was like, we gotcha.

[B]

So he played Dom, and then he got you.

[A]

Yeah, I Mean, and that, that last moments of the show, you could see that he was, he was very serious. And I, I love that about that show. He's great. Columbo's unbelievable.

[B]

Pinocchio and I guess maybe the Disney movie. He smoked a cigar and got very sick while visiting Pleasure island.

[A]

And yeah, you gotta take it easy. But he did too many things.

[B]

His friend Lapwick encouraged him to take a big drag and made him incredibly sick, leading him to eventually transformation into a donkey.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The scene is considered.

[A]

Yeah. I mean that everything you've just described there is actually very dark and should not be in a children's movie. Yeah.

[B]

Yes. They said it was an anti smoking. I don't know. I looked up. I thought there would be some obvious stuff. I mean, Brad Pitt in Fight Club.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Denzel Washington, Training Day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, there's a lot of movies where.

[C]

Episode of the West Wing, two cathedrals. Jed Bartlett. Martin Sheen is his secretary. Dies. He's going through a series of tragedies. Right. And he's mad at God. And after the funeral, he stays in the cathedral and he starts yelling at God in Latin. And then he ends it with, whatever, I'm out. You get Hoins, as if to say, I'm not running for reelection. If you're going to do all this to me, I'm not going to be president. Lights a cigarette, puts it out on the floor of the cathedral and leaves. And then he has. Obviously he comes around, but it was just a moment of anger and just the most disrespectful thing he. It was a callback to earlier in the episode. But. But I think of that as such a powerful moment. Great show. Y' all gotta watch it.

[A]

I. I know you have, but.

[B]

No, I haven't actually. West Wing.

[C]

Oh, you never.

[B]

Never seen it? No.

[C]

Gotta check it out.

[B]

I know. I'm sure it's good because, like, your.

[A]

Shows think of a lot of cool moments, but I. They exist.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I see them. But I would. If you had. If I had known you were gonna do that. I. Because I looked up, I did a top five country songs about tobacco.

[B]

Well, let's hear it.

[C]

How many honorable mentions?

[A]

Well, this is what I did because this was actually pretty, Pretty tough. Okay. Because, you know, at first, you know, it's like I was just thinking of references. There's a lot of references. Like. And, you know, some people call the Beatles a country band. I consider them somewhat of one.

[B]

The Beatles.

[A]

Well, they're English, but they're, they're, you know, they're they're pretty country.

[C]

There's some folksy songs.

[A]

Yeah, they got. They have a song called I'm so Tired where they reference, you know, being up smoking cigarettes. Tyler Childers has the Feathered Indian song where they talk about it. Tom Petty, Southern rock, Even the Losers, they talk about smoking cigarettes. Jim Croce and Car Wash Blues. I don't know. Working at the car wash. He talks about it.

[B]

These honorable mentions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm just running through them real fast.

[B]

And then I want to hear Hannah's.

[A]

Country Boy can't survive. Hank Jr. He talks about Spitting beach that.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Old Crow Medicine show has a song called We Don't Grow Tobacco. Talking about.

[C]

That's a great song, actually.

[A]

It is good. Yeah. All right, so here we go. Number five.

[B]

Oh, I got one.

[C]

Do you have Boys around Here by Blake Shelton on there?

[A]

No, chew tobacco. Chew to back. Because that would never make any top five list of mine. Except for worst country songs of all.

[C]

Time and boys around here.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Drinking that ass cold.

[A]

Which is a real shame because Blake Shelton was really good in the beginning. Was really good.

[C]

Old Red, such a great song.

[A]

Yeah. Don't Go Loving on Nobody But Me. He has a cover of a song song called I Drink all very good.

[C]

I had a class in high school, like a. Like a theater adjacent class and a project you had to recite like a poem to the. A poem to the class. And I remember a buddy of mine, Taylor, he forgot about this. He didn't have a. Didn't have a poem memorized. So he just got up there and just recited from memory the lyrics of Old Red by Blake Shut Shelton as if it were a poem. It's kind of a compelling poem. It's fooled everybody.

[A]

Such a great song. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Number five by. This is Dusty Slay's top five country songs about tobacco. All right, number five, Copenhagen by Robert Earl Keane. It's off his album, a live album. I just heard this today. I actually thought this was just a cover of another song on this list. Yeah. And it was a complete. Pretty much a completely different song. Really great. Here's another one. Smoking Cigarettes and drinking Coffee Blues by Marty Robbins. Very good. And then number three, Copenhagen by Chris Ledo. Okay, okay, very good. Number two. You know what? I'm going to do the honorable mention and then do two in one, because these are really great. Right. Honorable mention, Otis Redding. Not exactly country, but got a country vibe to it. It's called Cigarettes and Coffee. Great song. All right, number two is Post Malone on here. No. Come on. Otis Redding. Way more country than Post Malone.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right, here we go. Number two, Smoke, Smoke, Smoke that Cigarette by Tex Williams.

[C]

What's that song about?

[A]

It is about how he likes smoking. Yeah. But the inconvenience of you're trying to do something and then somebody has to stop everything to smoke a cigarette. Oh, he said, Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate that you hate to make him wait because you just gotta have another cigarette. Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette. Puff, puff, puff it. And you smoke yourself to death. It's. It's great. And then smoking, it's. Well, I don't know. It's good. Every time I hear it, I want to smoke. And then number one top five Country Songs about tobacco is another Puff by Jerry Reed.

[C]

Oh, Jerry Reed.

[A]

This one is such a good song because the song is a story about how Jerry Reed has decided that he's gonna quit smoking. And he's talking about how easy it is gonna be to quit smoking. And then as the song goes along, he basically has talked himself back into smoking and tells you how much he loves it.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

Yeah, it's a good. And I've made that. I made that list. So if you.

[C]

So that's Spotify playlist people can access.

[A]

Yeah. If you want to look that up. That's called Dusty Sleigh's Top Five Country Songs About Tobacco.

[C]

Love it.

[A]

And I got them all in there.

[B]

Really?

[A]

It's called. Yeah, it's really great. Copenhagen by Chris Ledoux. Real fun song.

[B]

I mean, it's only mentioned one time, but Don Williams, he goes. Coffee black.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, you know what? That reminds me. There's a couple others I'm gonna add in there, too. Justin Town's Earl has one called Mama's Eyes. He mentioned smoking cigarettes. Great song.

[C]

How about One Hand in My Pocket by Alanis Morse?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Not One Hand in my pocket.

[A]

Not country. But you know what?

[C]

I want to smoke it.

[A]

A cigarette worth. Worth putting in there.

[C]

Dusty and I on a road trip once. We went to a goodwill. I spent probably $30 on CDs. John Denver, greatest Hits. Remember that? I bought Jagged Little Pill. I bought that.

[A]

It's a great album. It is a great album.

[C]

Jagged Little Pill, man.

[A]

Yeah, that first album was really good.

[B]

Why do you think. Well, tell me if you even think this is true. I feel like there's. If you smoke cigarettes nowadays, you'll get looked down on as a man, at least. But as a cigar, somehow that's considered more cool or not even cool, just acceptable.

[A]

This is what they say that cigars. And I, I don't necessarily think that's true. People still look down on you, even with cigars. Especially, you know, big city, try to have a cigar out on the street. People come at you and then you go, I'm homeless. And they go, okay, I didn't know. And.

[C]

Here, let me. Like that for you.

[A]

Yeah. And, but let me just say, I.

[B]

Feel, I'm sorry to interrupt, but like, in my church, if guys were going to get together some night, smoke cigars, I don't think anybody would think twice about that. They were like, let's go in the back and smoke cigarettes. They'd be like, what?

[C]

That'd be crazy to go, you boys want to come over this weekend, smoke cigarettes? I guess that's true.

[A]

Well, this is why I think, yes, cigarettes have cheapened the whole thing. Like, cigarettes are great. I mean, I'm not saying they're great, but I like them. But I think, you know, it's like you go, you can have a cigarette real quick. You don't have a cigar real quick. And they say that each cigar is hand rolled. And you know, there's, you know, I mean, I've talked to several people about this. Whenever you talk about the health risk of cigars, it all gets lumped in with cigarette stuff. There's no necessarily independent studies on cigars. And I've talked to Ben Sawyer about this, who's also a cigar guy. He even says that a lot of the, the statistics, the, the research is done on, on guys that smoked cigarettes, quit and then started cigars. Oh, and you don't inhale cigars. I know some people probably do do, but you don't inhale them.

[C]

Don't inhale them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They take what, I mean, like an hour.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Versus three and a half minutes for a cigarette.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like you can, you know, with your friends, sit around, have cigars, have conversation. You're not looking at your phones, you're actually talking to each other. And I, and I think there is also some, can be some brain stimulant with nicotine and tobacco. Some people say it has some health benefits, nicotine does. A lot of people would probably disagree, but I think if you have a cigar every day, it's probably not great for you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But if you, you know, if you have moderation. Yeah. And that's, you know, that's a problem with most things. And, and with me, I feel like I got a little, I got a little addictive type personality where I get into something, I'm like, oh, I'd like to do this every day now, you know, but. And then goes from every day to, when can I. When can I sneak in a cigar or my kids napping? Can I go grab one real quick.

[C]

To sneak a cigar?

[A]

I know.

[B]

Is my wife out of town?

[A]

Yeah, exactly. And it's like, that's how it goes for me. But I, you know, but that's why I quit drinking and never will even attempt to have a beer because I'm like, I could I have one? And I go, this is great. Why have I not been doing this? And then the next thing you know, I've wrecked my car and.

[C]

Yeah, your life's over.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Somewhere alcohol consumption, at least in the US Is at a record low.

[C]

I believe it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. People are not drinking. They're not smoking. Like young people. They're not doing any of that. Like, drinking it. That's why my drinking and driving jokes for younger people are just like. They're like, they don't even find it funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's like I just was at the end of an era of people. Like the generation before me was actually cracking open a six pack on the way home from work, you know?

[B]

Yeah. We all have small kids. I think by the time our kids get grown, they'll like what people used to smoke.

[A]

I know.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or maybe they'll make a comeback. I don't know.

[A]

Fingers crossed.

[B]

No, you want your kids to smoke?

[C]

I want my daughter to smoke. No.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I mean, no, I don't want them to smoke the cigarettes that are out here today. But I think if, you know, if my daughter were cool and hand rolling her own cigarettes, it'd be worth it. Yeah. Not in. I'm not against it.

[B]

Yeah. Don't be a nerd.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

All right.

[A]

No, I'm not advocating. I don't want people listening, thinking, I'm advocating for smoking.

[B]

Advocating just as kids.

[C]

This podcast has never advocated for anything.

[A]

No, I'm just, I just, I think that, like, a lot of thing, like, like, all right, like, take this for example. Like, our bread in this country is so bad, Right. But there is healthy bread. Like, if we took our grains and we ground our own grains to make flour, and then we made our bread at home with just a few ingredients, it would be very good for us. But when you go off and buy a hot dog bun off the shelf, it has a thousand ingredients in it and it's bad for you.

[C]

So good.

[A]

So. Yeah, yeah. It is. But, yeah, I mean, I. I took a sprouted grain piece of bread and wrapped my daughter's hot dog in it the other day, and she was like. Yeah. She was like, what is this?

[B]

She needs to smoke. I get beat up in school.

[A]

I know. But I think there is a healthy way to do things. And, you know, know, no one will ever agree that there's a healthy way to have cigars. Except for other cigar smokers.

[B]

But, yeah, I think yours will offset. They'll be. Your kids will be smoking cigarettes, but they'll be eating so healthy that they'll be just like the rest of us.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

But they'll be cool.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. They're. They're. They're a little crunchy, but they're. They're smoking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Anybody want to guess the state? I think I've shared this before, that most. Which state has the highest rate of cigarette smoke?

[C]

Smokers.

[B]

Smokers. The smoke.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm gonna say Louisiana.

[C]

I'm gonna say Mississippi.

[B]

West Virginia.

[A]

That makes sense.

[C]

Oh, is it? I mean, it's almost tied one to one with poverty, the smoking.

[B]

The country with the highest tobacco usage might surprise you.

[C]

Yemen.

[A]

Now, let me go. France.

[B]

Maybe you should just go on actual volume of people.

[A]

China.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, China.

[C]

Like, yeah. Y' all are both very.

[B]

Well, you know, I said it like a percentage, but then once you said that, I'm like, I bet it's just.

[A]

Well, there was a time where Asian people in general. Maybe not Japanese, but Asian people in general. I feel like we're really smoking. Like, I remember when I worked at Office Depot, this guy, he came in as Vietnamese guys running a nail salon, and he bought a bunch of. Bunch of office chairs, and I had to go help him load them into the truck. And he's like. He's very nice, but his accent is so aggressive. And then he's like. He smokes a cigarette just to analyze the truck, just to see how we want to load the chairs in. And so I feel like this guy's smoking cigarettes all day long, just hanging out his mouth. Yeah.

[B]

Dusty met one Asian guy. He's like, yeah, they all smoke, man.

[A]

I knew a lot of Asian people, and the. I grew up with a lot of Asian people, a lot of Laotian population in. In Opelika. But the.

[C]

Everybody knows that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I did know that from we're having a Good Time podcast.

[A]

Yeah. Actually, I was on a plane not too long ago, and it was. This is a white guy. This is not an Asian guy, but just. Just talking about smoking. We got off the plane, this guy lit up a cigarette in the jet bridge of the. Of getting off and then is in Nashville. He got off the jet bridge, threw it down on the ground, stomped it out and kept moving. I was like, that is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

[B]

I bet you hug that guy.

[A]

I mean, it was very disrespectful, and I don't support that. Yeah, but it was the coolest thing.

[B]

I can't believe no one stopped.

[A]

It was an old guy, and I just think he didn't care.

[C]

Yeah, you do get to an age where you just. Yeah, I don't care anymore. I'm not gonna be around much longer.

[A]

Yeah, right? Yeah.

[B]

Wow. Wow. All right. We did it, guys.

[C]

We did it. Welcome back, Dusty.

[A]

Thank you. I've had a great time here.

[C]

We have you next week, too.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I'm back. I mean, look, I didn't mean to miss before, but I had a. You know, it presented itself, and I didn't want to miss the opportunity.

[C]

I don't blame you.

[B]

You know, I think I've missed five times. Five episodes.

[C]

One of you had a stroke once.

[B]

No, that wasn't it. But you did.

[C]

You remember earlier?

[B]

I didn't miss it. I was here.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You came in with a stroke.

[B]

That was crazy.

[C]

You're stroking out, dude.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It wasn't really a stroke, but I was. I thought it might be, but that's the day I announced.

[C]

I mean, it might as well be the same thing. You're right. So you missed.

[B]

I've missed five episodes. But I've only missed three times because twice we recorded two episodes.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

We used to do that a lot.

[C]

Do you remember the reasons I do?

[B]

One is when I had a baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then we did two. One when I had Covid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And one when we had a death in the family.

[A]

Jeez.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't just take off like you guys kill Tony. Well, like, who cares?

[A]

You took off for a death, I took off for a killing. You know what I mean?

[B]

Boom. He's so quick.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why do we even have him around?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I don't do much. All right, just for symmetry, I guess.

[B]

We talk about where we're at this weekend.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

This Saturday I'm in Brookhaven, Mississippi, with my buddy Vince Fabra.

[A]

All right.

[B]

You know Vince?

[A]

Vince. Yeah, I know Vince.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Vince just opened for me in Auburn, matter of fact.

[B]

Oh, okay. You're using my opener.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I'm with the Brookhaven Little Theater in Brookhaven, Mississippi. All right, Then next weekend, I'm in Perigoul, Arkansas. And then I got some. Some Cleveland dates coming up.

[C]

Oh, nice.

[B]

My just outside of tour comes to Cleveland. It's not actually in Cleveland, but it's like Brunswick and Willoughby, which are both suburbs of Cleveland.

[C]

Greater Cleveland.

[A]

Cleveland.

[B]

Greater Cleveland.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's October 10th and 11th. Those are on my website.

[C]

So come on out next weekend. This is Aaron Weber here. Phoenix, Arizona, at the Desert, Almost a dessert Desert Ridge Improv. At the Dessert Ridge Improv. Where you like to be in Phoenix. That's September 18th through the 20th and the 21st. Denver, Colorado, at Comedy Works Downtown.

[A]

Those are both great. Those are both great clubs. I met this weekend. I met Binghamton, New York Theater Show. Binghamton, New York, on the 12th. On the 13th. I'm in Buffalo, New York, next week. Reading, Pennsylvania. I've been calling it Reading because that's how it's spelled.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then Wilkes. I've been calling it. It's Wilkes. Barry Wilkes.

[C]

Barry.

[A]

I've been calling it Wilkes Bar, because that's how it's spelled. Pennsylvania.

[C]

B, A, R, R, E. Yeah, I know from the office and.

[A]

But I'll be there.

[B]

That's not how you spell bar.

[A]

Well, no, but it's not how you spell Barry either.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

And I also want to say, just for people, that I made a video about it, but I had a show in Columbus, Ohio. The show was almost sold out, and they closed the venue. Wow. So everybody got notifications that I canceled the show. I did not cancel the show. The venue closed. So I'm sorry about that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[B]

Why did it close?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

So you're gonna come back next wave next time through you.

[A]

Well, I'd like to just book something else that. That date in Columbus, Ohio, but what I'm being told is because they closed, the venue, may be slow about getting people referred to refunds.

[C]

Oh, brutal. So brutal.

[A]

We don't want to come. And people are like, well, I'm still waiting on my refund. Yeah. Anyway, we gotta wrap it up.

[B]

Do we have a. A Nateland set dropping this Friday?

[C]

We do. It's in the Nateland News.

[B]

I didn't see any Nateland.

[A]

Oh, I didn't have Nateland News.

[C]

I think I.

[B]

Hold on. Oh.

[C]

How about that? I threw the Na Land News.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

Over my head real quick. Oh, but Nate hosting the Emmys this. This weekend forgot to.

[B]

Whoops.

[C]

Where's the fourth guy of the podcast. He'll be hosting the Emmys this weekend.

[B]

Forgot about Nate.

[C]

Check him out on sibus.

[B]

All right, that's it. We did it. Thanks so much, guys. Good seeing you.

[C]

Good job today, Brian.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Really did.

[A]

Really brought us having a good time.

[C]

Most important meal of the day.

[A]

Boom. Breakfast. Breakfast, lunch, dinner.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

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[A]

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Excludes Massachusetts.

[A]

Greetings naturopathy. Dr. Dennis Black here, founder of rough greens. And if only dogs could talk. I think a lot of them would say, hey, thanks for the love, but this food, it's not working for me. The truth is they'd be right. Because most dog food, wet or dry, is cooked at such high temperatures that every live nutrient in it is destroyed. And what you're left with is dead food bulked up with fillers and sprayed with artificial flavors. That's not what dogs need. But when you add back in the live vitamins, omega oils and antioxidants are in rough greens. Your dog would say something different. Like they'd say, wow, this is delicious. Or sluggish. Dogs might say, hey, let's go for a walk. Older dogs might say, I feel like a puppy again. It's not magic, it's biology. Don't just imagine it. See it in your dog. I'll send you a free jumpstart trial bag for your dog. You just cover the shipping. Go to roughgreens.com use discount code talk. That's ruff greens discount code talk. If your dog could only talk, they'd say, thank you. And Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu.

[C]

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[A]

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[A]

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[B]

Excludes Massachusetts.