Public Figures – Episode 3: "The Olympics"

Date: February 18, 2026
Hosts: Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay
Studio: Audioboom Studios

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, the trio explores all things Olympics—from personal memories and obscure facts to comically mundane "Olympic" events of ordinary life. Sprinkled throughout are fan interactions, travel tales, discussions on social media feedback, cruise ship shenanigans, and playful generational ribbing. The episode is a tapestry of stand-up road stories, banter about everyday sports (like speed grocery self-checkout), Olympic history, and the occasional deep-dive into topics like Helen Keller conspiracies and proper fast-food ordering etiquette.

Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. Tour Updates and Recent Shows

[01:12–05:08]

• The hosts update listeners on recent and upcoming stand-up dates.
• Brian recounts performing with Nate Bargatze in Indianapolis and highlights the camaraderie among comics, especially welcoming Maggie Hughes to bigger shows.
  • Quote: "She [Maggie] was like, 'This is kind of the first time I've ever been on a show that's had more than four figures.'" – Brian [04:47]
• Aaron raves about Hilarities in Cleveland as "one of the truly great clubs in America" and shares tales of the green room antics.
  • Memorable Moment: A random audience member confidently walks into the green room to take a phone call, puzzling Aaron and Dusty. [09:00–10:11]

2. Cruise Stories & Comic Social Interaction

[13:57–17:46]

• The hosts reminisce about the recent "Nateland at Sea" cruise, delving into how each handled the gauntlet of social events, fan encounters, and the cigar lounge.
  • Quote: "You were out there for seven hours." – Brian to Dusty [15:54]
  • Dusty's philosophy: "I'm addicted to [my phone]. I hate looking at it. I want to throw it in the trash can." [16:09]
• Discussion of the balance between being introverted/extroverted as public figures and how cigars (for Dusty) facilitate more organic socializing among fans and peers.

3. Nateland Cruise Activities & Fan Connections

[17:46–23:30]

• Aaron and Brian recount attending Nateland Podcast Trivia with more than 50 teams—a surreal celebrity moment for them.
  • Quote: "They're literally doing trivia about our... I leaned over to Brian at one point. I was like, this is crazy." – Aaron [19:31]
• Spotlight on various cruise events: talent shows, spelling bees, bingo, and the notorious belly/back flop contest featuring Julian’s ill-fated back flop.

4. Olympics: Cultural Relevance, Childhood Memories, and Cynicism

[51:13–54:14]

• Episode shifts to the Olympic Games, with a wry lens on how personal and national interest in the event has ebbed and flowed.
• Dusty waxes nostalgic about the 1996 Atlanta Games, especially the gymnastics team: "Dominique Muchiano... Devil Went down to Georgia. And like, I was blowing the roof off the... I mean, I was like, this is as exciting as it gets." [52:20]
• The hosts admit Winter Olympics were usually less compelling to them, given their Southern backgrounds ("Nobody I knew grew up playing hockey...we've all run in a circle!"). [53:43]

5. Winter v. Summer Olympics/Obscure Sports and Rules

[54:46–77:04]

• Debates on the popularity and accessibility of winter sports.
• Recap of notable moments: Miracle on Ice, Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan saga, curling’s "relatability," and unfamiliarity with sports like water polo and speed walking.
  • Quote: "Every American has [thought]—'give me a year, dude, I could be an Olympian.' And I know intellectually it's not true, but it just looks so easy, you know?" – Aaron [56:32]
• Learnings about Olympic rules—a foot must always touch in race-walking; water polo players must clip toenails to avoid underwater scrapes; equestrian competitors can’t make clicking sounds, else they might “cheat” with the horse.
• Hilarious brainstorming about new Olympic “seasons” (e.g., Tennessee Spring Olympics, featuring "allergy events" or rapid climate changes mid-run) [70:13–70:56].

6. Discontinued/Obscure Olympic Sports

[79:29–85:34]

• The hosts riff on past Olympic events: dueling pistols, underwater swimming, painting, poetry.
• Lament the removal of artistic pursuits from the Olympic roster, and riff on the challenge of subjective judging.
  • Quote: "Painting was an Olympic sport from 1912 to 1948." – Brian [84:40]

7. Everyday Life as an “Olympic Sport”

[89:44–111:10]

• Absurd but passionate discussion on what mundane life tasks the hosts could "medal" in, such as:
  • Stopping gas at an exact dollar amount [89:59–90:34]
  • Pouring gas into a lawnmower without spillage
  • Folding fitted sheets
  • Self-checkout speed at grocery stores—tips, etiquette, and pride in mastery [96:07–97:19]
  • Deboarding an airplane efficiently
  • Carrying every grocery bag in one trip, devising optimal strategy when soloing grocery runs with a baby [109:00–110:10]
  • Skipping rocks (with discussion of rules and legendary competitions in Scotland and Michigan)
• Quote: "I'm beating all in so many things like ordering coffee at a Starbucks...What are you doing up here?" – Dusty [97:12–97:29]

8. Listener Comments & Notable Call-ins

[29:00–39:02 | 116:35–121:25]

• The hosts read and riff on listener feedback around podcast audio quality, generational comedy favorites, pronunciation debates (lozenge!), and more.
• Notable quotes:
  • On podcast audio: "You can listen to almost anything as long as the audio is good. And almost nothing is listenable if it's bad audio." – Dusty [29:28]
  • On Helen Keller conspiracies: "If you're blind and deaf, what are you writing about?" – Dusty [31:08]
  • On Will Hunting and The Departed: Protracted, playful debate about movie realism and legacy.
• Listener Call-ins:
  • Jared from New Hampshire (relaying a wholesome Dusty Slay encounter in Mexico) [116:35–118:19]
  • Mookie Blaylock shares his lifelong love of boy bands and being picked on for it—now vindicated by nostalgia [119:01–119:33]

9. Olympic Event Proposals & Relatable Banter

[122:19–123:38]

• The team invites listeners to submit ideas for "public figures’ Olympics" or mundane feats they excel at, hoping to continue the fun in future episodes.

Notable Quotes & Classic Moments

• On Club Life:
  "You show up to them and it's like they could care less that you're there...but Hilarities goes above and beyond." – Aaron [08:08]

• On Social Media Feedback:
  "I've joined [the Public Figures Podcast Facebook group] again...and then, you know, there's always some hat guy trashing me in the comments, and I can't handle it." – Dusty [18:08]

• On Olympics Accessibility:
  "The only time I've ever followed the Winter Olympics closely was the Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan thing." – Brian [54:49]

• On Creating New Olympic Events:
  "Spring Olympics. Hold it in Tennessee, where you never know what the weather's going to be...you gotta sprint if the snow melts." – Brian [70:13]

• On Self-Checkout:
  "I watch people doing it and I go, they're all doing it wrong. Watch how fast I do it." – Dusty [96:18]

Timestamps of Important Segments

• [01:12–05:08]: Show/tour recaps and comedy club stories
• [13:57–17:46]: Cruise ship/comedian social dynamics
• [17:46–23:30]: Nateland cruise trivia/talent/bingo stories
• [51:13–54:14]: Olympics as a cultural touchstone; Atlanta 1996 memories
• [54:46–77:04]: Winter v. Summer Olympics; obscure/strange sports and rules
• [79:29–85:34]: Discontinued Olympic events (dueling pistols, painting, poetry)
• [89:44–111:10]: "Life Olympics": gas pumps, self-checkout, grocery bags, rock skipping
• [116:35–121:25]: Listener calls and stories
• [122:19–123:38]: Invitations for listener submissions: public figures’ Olympics

Tone and Language

The tone is convivial, whimsical, and peppered with self-deprecating humor. The three comedians riff with natural chemistry, combining earnestness (about stand-up and social interaction) with a healthy dose of irony when discussing traditions, nostalgia, and the sometimes-absurd rituals of daily life and the Olympics.

Key Takeaways

• The hosts’ Olympic interest is personal and cultural—shaped greatly by what felt accessible and entertaining growing up.
• They delight most in everyday feats and the camaraderie of fan interactions, using the Olympic theme as a lens for broader conversations about trying, failing, and triumphing in life’s little moments.
• Much of the fun comes from poking at generational gaps, mispronunciations, and “controversies” about day-to-day efficiency—a kind of inclusive comedy where everyone, host or listener, is a potential medalist in their own quirky games.

From the green room to the self-checkout lanes to the Olympic podium, it’s all part of the comedy, conversation, and community that makes Public Figures a warm and hilarious listen—no medal required.