A Sharp Piece Of Shale with Madeline Walter

Summary

Episode Title: A Sharp Piece Of Shale with Madeline Walter
Podcast: The Neighborhood Listen
Release Date: December 17, 2024

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Introduction

In the episode titled "A Sharp Piece Of Shale with Madeline Walter," hosts Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), and Doug (Brett Morris) welcome Madeline Walter, a resident of Dignity Falls, to discuss a mysterious and unsettling experience reported through their neighborhood social networking app. This detailed conversation delves into Madeline's personal ordeal, the potential motivations behind it, and the broader implications for community dynamics in Dignity Falls.

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Main Discussion: The Mystery of the Sent Rocks

Madeline's Experience

Madeline Walter begins by recounting an incident nearly a year prior, where she received seven small rocks and a piece of shale in a puffy envelope with no return address—only a barcode. She expresses her distress over this unexplained gesture:

Madeline Walter [29:37]: "It was one time. It was nearly a year ago... I believe it to be intentional."

Upon analyzing the rocks at the Natural History Museum’s archaeology department, Madeline was informed that the rocks had no identifiable origin. Interestingly, there was a momentary, incorrect assertion that the rocks were from the future due to a calibration error in their analyzing machine, which added a surreal twist to her predicament.

Possible Suspects and Motives

Madeline speculates that the rocks were sent by someone harboring ill intentions toward her. The conversation shifts to her relationships within the community, particularly highlighting her strained interactions with a neighbor named Elaine Stritch. Elaine, a fellow church member, became cold toward Madeline after a competitive theater production:

Madeline Walter [52:56]: "Elaine has been icy to me ever since I got the part she wanted in our church's production of Company."

The hosts probe further into possible motives, considering whether personal vendettas or competitive dynamics within community activities could be at play. Madeline reveals a tense relationship not just with Elaine but also expresses distrust toward her daughter Erica's husband, Stephen:

Madeline Walter [44:55]: "Stephen may hate me because I hate him and have been very vocal about it."

Impact on Madeline’s Life

Receiving these rocks has had a profound impact on Madeline’s sense of safety and well-being. She shares how this incident has led to increased paranoia and isolation:

Madeline Walter [34:38]: "I no longer feel safe in my neighborhood because I believe someone is trying to get to me."

To protect herself, Madeline has taken measures such as taping her mailbox and discouraging her husband from collecting her mail, despite the resulting frustrations and practical inconveniences.

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Exploration of Community Dynamics

Local Lore and Incidents

The hosts and Madeline discuss various local stories and histories that add depth to the community’s narrative. They mention the tragic accident involving the old trolley run by Cheddar McBurger, which resulted in the deaths of three people and left a lasting mark on Dignity Falls:

Madeline Walter [58:35]: "It's a dark mark on Dignity Falls history. It sure is."

These stories serve to illustrate the underlying tensions and the sometimes eerie occurrences that characterize the town.

The Nature of the Threat

As the conversation progresses, the hosts attempt to unravel whether the rocks are symbolic threats, misguided jokes, or part of a larger scheme. They explore the idea of the mafia using rocks as coded messages, though they ultimately lack concrete evidence:

Brett Morris [36:23]: "Is there some association that you personally have with rocks where someone knew...?"

Madeline firmly believes that the rocks were sent with malicious intent, leading her to question the trustworthiness and friendliness of her neighbors.

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Insights and Host Reflections

The episode balances the serious nature of Madeline's experiences with the hosts' attempts to provide levity and support. Nicole Parker emphasizes empathy and encourages Madeline to confront her accusers directly:

Nicole Parker [73:10]: "Ask her point blank. Did you ever send me a bag of rocks?"

Brett Morris adds a layer of humor while still acknowledging the gravity of the situation, creating a dynamic interplay that keeps listeners engaged.

Community Support and Moving Forward

Ultimately, the hosts advise Madeline to seek resolution by addressing her concerns with those she suspects, fostering open communication as a pathway to healing. They also reflect on the importance of community support in overcoming personal fears and misunderstandings.

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Notable Quotes

• Madeline Walter [32:34]: "I believe it was someone who hates me and wishes me ill."
• Nicole Parker [73:10]: "Ask her point blank. Did you ever send me a bag of rocks?"
• Brett Morris [36:23]: "Is there some association that you personally have with rocks where someone knew..."

---

Conclusion

"A Sharp Piece Of Shale with Madeline Walter" is a compelling episode that weaves personal trauma with community intrigue. Through Madeline’s story, listeners gain insight into the complexities of neighborhood relationships and the psychological toll of unresolved conflicts. The episode underscores the significance of communication and understanding in maintaining a harmonious community, leaving audiences reflecting on their own neighborhood dynamics.

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Final Thoughts

This episode serves as a poignant reminder of how seemingly small gestures can escalate into profound personal crises. The Neighborhood Listen skillfully navigates Madeline’s narrative, offering both support and thoughtful analysis, ensuring that listeners are both entertained and enlightened.

Transcript

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Lights are going up.

[Nicole Parker]

Snow is falling down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's a feeling of goodwill around town. It could only mean one thing. McRib is here. People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere, Stockings hung up by the chimney with care.

[Nicole Parker]

It could only mean one thing.

[Brett Morris]

McRib is here at ParticipateMcDonald's for a limited time. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Discover the year's top audiobooks, podcasts and originals in all your favorite genres, from.

[Brett Morris]

Memoirs and sci fi to mysteries and thrillers. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In audio entertainment, like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984 heartfelt memoirs.

[Brett Morris]

Like Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's Lovely One. The year's best fiction, like the Women by Kristin Hannah and Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com imagine and discover all the years best waiting for you. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Brett Morris]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Nicole Parker]

Occasionally, we change the names of some.

[Brett Morris]

Streets and that's all you need to know to support the show and unlock the ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the Bonus room. Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Nicole Parker]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood.

[Brett Morris]

Listen. Knock, knock.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's there?

[Brett Morris]

Your neighbor.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half AB and.

[Madeline Walter]

Us, Vern and Joan.

[Nicole Parker]

From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it.

[Brett Morris]

And meet new neighbors as well.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll chat about any post you're missing. So just tune in.

[Brett Morris]

To the neighborhood. Listen. Welcome once again to the neighborhood. Listen. This is the. This is the neighborhood. I almost said. Can you believe it?

[Nicole Parker]

I can't. We're almost done here. We're like, nearing the end of this part of the. Of the. Of the season. Season. Of season.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, so it's not just me.

[Nicole Parker]

This is Stephen. Remember Season Stephen.

[Brett Morris]

That's right. Season Stephen. We started giving them names like hurricanes. So we.

[Nicole Parker]

We are.

[Brett Morris]

We are getting ready to say goodbye to season Stephen. And who knows what next season will be called?

[Nicole Parker]

No idea.

[Brett Morris]

Very excited.

[Nicole Parker]

Very, very.

[Brett Morris]

Who knows if we'll remember that we started this practice?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I will. You will? Yes, I will. I promise to remember.

[Brett Morris]

All right.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm making a pact right Now.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, great.

[Madeline Walter]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

This is the neighborhood. Listen. It is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls.

[Nicole Parker]

Nailed it.

[Brett Morris]

Through the eyes of its very residents. We're two of them. Joe, you read my mind. I know you read my mind. You take it from here.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm glad I was right. I'm glad I guessed correctly. I'm Joan Pedestrian. I'm a realtor here in Dignity Falls, and I'm also not an amateur actor here. I'm a local actor. We've decided. That sounds better.

[Brett Morris]

It does sound better. But I think if you bring the word amateur into it at all, you're still unbelievable.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. I shouldn't say it all. I am a local actress.

[Brett Morris]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know. Now it sounds very lonely. It stands there just sort of sad. A local actress. I feel like the way that sentence, you know, finishes is was found in a forum.

[Brett Morris]

What if you said, or goes missing?

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Brett Morris]

Have you seen the sentence? What if you said, I am part of the Dignity Falls theater community?

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, okay. I can see that. I mean, it makes me feel like I'm in the ensemble, which I don't love.

[Brett Morris]

Right. I'm a leading light.

[Nicole Parker]

A leading lady in the Dignity Falls theater community. Can I say that?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I think I'm a local lady in the.

[Brett Morris]

A local leading lady.

[Nicole Parker]

Local leading lady. We love a tongue twister.

[Brett Morris]

I think that you could just say leading lady, period. Because you're always the lead lady.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, in the shows that I do. Yes. That I write for myself.

[Brett Morris]

Well, but who beats you in the. In the rest of the Dignity Falls community playhouse?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, for a while, Carol Dragonslayer was giving me a run for my money, you know. She was doing.

[Brett Morris]

Giving you a run for your money.

[Nicole Parker]

She was. We were up against each other quite a bit for things.

[Brett Morris]

That's right. But who prevailed in the end?

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, in the end, except for I did not get to. I didn't get to do the One Woman Joan river show.

[Brett Morris]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

She had an unbelievable take on her, and I don't know how she did it, because she ruined her voice. I mean, it was just. It was. It was gone by the end.

[Brett Morris]

I think it was the. I think it's the alcohol that ruined her voice.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you do?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, this is kind of drunk all the time. I know.

[Madeline Walter]

She is.

[Nicole Parker]

She really is. If you listen to. If you are a member of the Maximus. Right? Is that what it's called?

[Brett Morris]

That's correct.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you just. Was I too intense when I said Max?

[Brett Morris]

No, no, no. I just wanted to see if you would remember the rest.

[Nicole Parker]

You do do it all the time. I don't do it. Then you have access to bonus room episodes. That we do. And in some cases, for some reason, we still don't know how this happened. But my. My mortal enemy, the theater critic Mitch McNutt. That's right. Thank you for that.

[Brett Morris]

I can't stand him.

[Nicole Parker]

Babe, do you have anything to say about him? You always have a good thing to say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey.

[Nicole Parker]

Hi. That's my husband, Doug. He's recording in a separate room. Got a Mitch McNutt thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's a sinister villain.

[Nicole Parker]

That's true. He is a sinister villain, Doug.

[Brett Morris]

When you're right, you're right. He is a sinister villain.

[Nicole Parker]

So Mitch McNutt and Carol Dragonslayer have a podcast together called the Bitchin Hut, and for some reason, two of their episodes have made it into the bonus rooms. I don't know.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. I don't know how they're doing that, though. They're hijacking the film.

[Nicole Parker]

They're very popular, though.

[Brett Morris]

And I'm burnt. Mia payday. I'm a pharmacist here in Dignity Falls. I'm the pharmac Assist in Chief at the Dignity Falls, Missy. And that is me.

[Nicole Parker]

That's all you got? Okay, great.

[Brett Morris]

I think so. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. And, babe, where are you recording from today?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I am in the ice skating rink.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm, you know, preparing for Christmas time.

[Brett Morris]

Honestly, I'm honestly surprised.

[Nicole Parker]

Christmas time.

[Brett Morris]

Funny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tiliape's dream.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, she loves ice skating.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes. She always wanted to be an ice skater. I wanted to be a tennis player. I don't know.

[Brett Morris]

She loves ice skating.

[Nicole Parker]

She loves ice skating.

[Brett Morris]

Now, I am honestly surprised you all don't already have an ice skating rink.

[Nicole Parker]

I know. Honestly. It's true.

[Brett Morris]

You have a roller rink.

[Nicole Parker]

We have a roller rink. The fact that we have, like, a Batcave before we'd have an ice skating rink is wild to me.

[Brett Morris]

It is wild.

[Nicole Parker]

We didn't prioritize very well.

[Brett Morris]

And just so people are aware, it's not a Batcave in the sense of Batman.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Brett Morris]

It is just a cave filled with fake bats. Fake bats? Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Real bats in the wine cave.

[Brett Morris]

Real bats in the wine cave.

[Nicole Parker]

So. So, yes. It was something that she's wanted for so long, and I. You know why? Here's why. It got put off because of Doug's mountaintop Coors commercial room, where he just has changed the temperature.

[Brett Morris]

The beer drinking.

[Nicole Parker]

So, yes. And the altitude drops and you Go in there to get your beer out of the mountaintop.

[Brett Morris]

The altitude drops.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. I'm sorry.

[Brett Morris]

So you get low, you go in the room.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You get cold underground.

[Brett Morris]

So cold.

[Nicole Parker]

It is cold under the ground. You know, we do build out. We have built down to the magma before, and weirdly, it gets cold before it gets hot.

[Brett Morris]

You have built down to the magma that we are.

[Nicole Parker]

Doug is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, I've tried. Lord knows I've tried.

[Brett Morris]

I don't know. If you can't get that, I don't think you should. Yeah, I think that's. You don't want to get down to magma, but also.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just want to see it.

[Nicole Parker]

I just want to see it.

[Brett Morris]

I don't remember what I was going to say.

[Nicole Parker]

It's okay. The point is, that took a enormous toll on our electricity bill. So I just was like, what's it going to be like to upkeep a rink? But I do know that the only reason that Doug wants to do is he wants to get a Zamboni. But, like, we have to get it. It's. It's not to scale. It's like a half the size of a normal ice skating rink.

[Brett Morris]

So is it a smaller Zambon?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, he's gonna have to find a tinier Zambon.

[Brett Morris]

A Zambonini.

[Nicole Parker]

A Zambonini.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I look like a circus bear on this thing.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, that sounds fun. Honestly, to ride a little Zamboni.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I thought. Oh, that sounds fun. You can take a ride.

[Brett Morris]

Thank you very much. I mean, I'll take you up on that. I'll absolutely ride on that.

[Nicole Parker]

Isn't that also a popular dessert in medium Italy, where you grew up?

[Brett Morris]

Zambonini? Yes, it's a torte. A chocolate torte in the shape of a zamboni.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, cute.

[Brett Morris]

And it's filled with red sauce. Red sauce, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

That I did not expect.

[Brett Morris]

Filled with marinara. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, marinara.

[Brett Morris]

It's a sweet and savory kind of thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Brett Morris]

So it's ice cold.

[Nicole Parker]

It's ice cold.

[Brett Morris]

It's like, you remember the Viennetta?

[Nicole Parker]

It's piping hot on the inside.

[Brett Morris]

It's piping hot. And it's very difficult.

[Nicole Parker]

No one knows how. They don't.

[Brett Morris]

It's very difficult to make.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

It's. It's Master Chef only, but yeah, the V. It's like the Viennetta.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

God, I wanted that Viennetta.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, I understand. I get.

[Brett Morris]

When you were a kid, you would see that.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes. I mean, it looks so and they made.

[Brett Morris]

It wasn't for you.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely. You'll never have a child.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I also kind of wanted that cat food from that same era.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, the Fancy Feast. She put a little green garnish on it, but it's still just pig parts.

[Brett Morris]

Did that happen?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think of those commercials as together.

[Nicole Parker]

She put like a little garden parsley.

[Brett Morris]

I thought. I thought serving it to the goblet was.

[Nicole Parker]

I know the goblet was ridiculous. It was like a big, fat, furry villain cat. White James Bond cat, always villain cat. And she seemed to have incredible wealth, you know, this woman who lived by herself with her cat, you know, so good for her.

[Brett Morris]

I like that she's still hands on. She feeds the cat herself.

[Nicole Parker]

I do, too.

[Brett Morris]

She doesn't have a toddler do it.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, that's right.

[Brett Morris]

Of course, there were many dog food commercials where the dog food looked absolutely delicious.

[Nicole Parker]

Which ones?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, there's one. What was it called? It was like Pour the grape.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you talking about, like, Wagon Train or. What was it called exactly?

[Madeline Walter]

What was it called?

[Brett Morris]

The little Chuck wagon.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that what it was?

[Brett Morris]

And the little chuck wagon would drive.

[Nicole Parker]

Wagon train. Makes no sense. That's it.

[Brett Morris]

That makes as much sense as Chuck wagon.

[Nicole Parker]

A weird way to get around Wagon train. Yeah. Is the wagon in the front or the back?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You coming onto it?

[Brett Morris]

Do you know what a wagon train is?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I know, actually, like the. When the. But I'm just saying now that I'm thinking wagon train, that I'm picturing just actual wagon. Yes, I know what a wagon train is. Everybody calm down.

[Brett Morris]

Stop writing to us.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't at me. I know what wagon train is. Was it chuck wagon, though? That's what you're talking about?

[Brett Morris]

Chuck wagon, yes. And there would be. There would be a little tiny chuck wagon pulled by horses running through the kitchen, and the dog would chase it.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, I remember that.

[Brett Morris]

And then they would pour golden gravy on top of the truck wagon.

[Madeline Walter]

Golden gravy.

[Brett Morris]

Delicious. Mighty dog. That was another one. Gaines Burgers.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow. You're really. When I called a set Chaz, he really. He came through.

[Brett Morris]

Hey, these are the commercials of my youth. That made me hungry.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it's amazing. Well, and also, you weren't given a good diet as a kid. I mean, the fact that you were given a charred black toast. Of course. You thought dog food looked tantalizing. It was strangely, the dry food was probably softer than the toast you ate. So, babe, how far along are you on the ice skating rink?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, great. Oh, let's Get a status update.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Are you just breaking ground or like, I haven't been down there.

[Brett Morris]

This is the earliest great question we've ever had in the show.

[Nicole Parker]

It hit. Oh, thank you. You're right. You haven't said great. We usually save great questions during the interview. Jones burn for the interviews.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I got basically a three by three going here.

[Nicole Parker]

A three by three what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just a space square of ice.

[Nicole Parker]

That sounds very small. Oh, you mean how big is it going to be?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, it's gonna be a full. I mean, the full size of the room. So that's probably.

[Nicole Parker]

So you're just putting ice in, what, blocks at a time?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

25 by. By 55 by.

[Nicole Parker]

This sounds like he's making it up. And I would have hoping that plans had been drawn already.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, it sounds.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't want to like a. Make it up as you go for ice skater.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it's tough when you're on ice skates and you don't really know how to.

[Nicole Parker]

There's no need to be in ice skates right now, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I'm on the block of ice, so I can keep going.

[Brett Morris]

This is why, like, when you're painting, you start with the corner.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, that's why. Yeah, that's what he's thinking.

[Brett Morris]

You are so. You are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm standing on a square of ice.

[Brett Morris]

You shouldn't be.

[Nicole Parker]

You really shouldn't be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Falling over.

[Nicole Parker]

Super dangerous. Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But now if I just expand from where I'm standing, you know, we'll get there.

[Nicole Parker]

More ice. We'll get there.

[Brett Morris]

Why don't you put out like a little carpet like they do in hockey games.

[Nicole Parker]

Great idea.

[Brett Morris]

Some luminary has to, you know, I guess when they sing the national anthem or something.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I see.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, do you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I got to get off this ice first.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Do you know how to ice skate?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely not. No. I'm learning.

[Nicole Parker]

It's just for jolly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We just tackle. Two birds, one stone.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. It's sort of like a father daughter thing he never got to do.

[Brett Morris]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, we do. We are trying to make up for lost time with Jollibee because the twins caused us so much trouble. Yeah, of course. I'm talking about my twins, Matt and the Preakness. The Preakness. And, oh, by the way, they had a screening. So as everyone knows. As everyone knows, they have a parent prank show that they sold to the Chick Fil A network. And the streaming. That's real. And. And this is, you know, I. I was excited for them. They took out the part where they ended up getting me fully nude but only blurring out my face. They took that part out.

[Brett Morris]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

But what they thought would be hilarious is if they pranked the audience while they were watching the screening.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, I guess that makes sense.

[Nicole Parker]

It does make sense. Except for they, they really that what they did was just. Well, I mean, they ended up flooding the theater.

[Brett Morris]

Oh boy.

[Nicole Parker]

And it was. Was terrible. And initially one thought they were doing rat prank and the other one thought they were doing flood prank. And then Matt ended up doing rat.

[Madeline Walter]

Rat prank.

[Brett Morris]

Is just. There's a rat there.

[Nicole Parker]

Many rats. Several rats.

[Brett Morris]

Several rats.

[Nicole Parker]

So Matt went rat prank and pregnus went flood prank.

[Brett Morris]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

And so unfortunately it was not only a flood, but it was several rats just floating around everybody as they tried to get out.

[Brett Morris]

It's like that one scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

[Nicole Parker]

It was now a little bit.

[Brett Morris]

Yes, that's a huge miscommunication, I think.

[Nicole Parker]

And very surprising, especially since they really work together well in the editing process and putting it together. They're twins and they're twins.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

They don't always share a brain.

[Brett Morris]

Apparently not.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, they don't. But I don't know what the final word is on whether or not it's going forward because of that. Because there's a lot of complaints.

[Brett Morris]

If I were them, I would try. Well, of course.

[Nicole Parker]

But at the same time there were several tick tock viral videos that happened and. And so then now it's being talked about and that's all that matters, you know, doesn't matter that 17 people went to the hospital and several rats went to the hospital.

[Brett Morris]

Oh no. Yes, same hospital.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Well, you know, the rat wing.

[Brett Morris]

The rat wing of our veterinary hospital.

[Nicole Parker]

The dragon slayer. Rat wing. Of course, again I mentioned Carol. Dragon slayer. Yes. And. And so I mean she wants her name on all the buildings, but all. Most of them were taken. So she has weird ones like the rat wing at the hospital and the tiny envelope wing at the mail.

[Brett Morris]

At the mail place.

[Nicole Parker]

And that's what said she couldn't even get something named at the post office. She had to go with the mail place, which is a secondary post office. We.

[Brett Morris]

That's right. It's a, it's. You can have a P.O. box there.

[Nicole Parker]

You can. Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

And you can buy.

[Nicole Parker]

Not to be confused with mailboxes, unfortunately, which is at your falls.

[Brett Morris]

That's right, mailboxes.

[Nicole Parker]

Unfortunately, this is just the mail place. Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

She also has her name on that museum of newspaper boxes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, she does.

[Brett Morris]

You know, it's. What's really strange is there's not that much difference in the newspaper boxes.

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Brett Morris]

Over the years, it's really. It's not worth a museum. I don't think.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think so. I'm sure most people don't even know what we're talking about.

[Brett Morris]

Probably right.

[Nicole Parker]

Should I explain?

[Brett Morris]

Yes. Newspaper boxes. There used to be these metal boxes on street corners. And you put some coins in, you get a newspaper.

[Nicole Parker]

They really aren't anywhere in my. You'd have to see them in an old movie.

[Brett Morris]

You know, the last one I saw was in. I was in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This was a while ago. And there was one. And it was being used as a trash can. The glass had been kicked in.

[Nicole Parker]

Great.

[Brett Morris]

And people had just been putting trash in there. And I guess, hey, thanks for putting it somewhere.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. In the receptacle of some kind. There's certainly no papers to go in there anymore.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. Well, that. That actual trash can overflowing, never to be emptied. Why not put some in this. In this old relic?

[Nicole Parker]

I've seen these weird videos that I still don't feel like they're true. That are, like, in New York City, and there's a. There's a trash can, and it shows the trash can getting emptied. And it turns out that, like, there the trash goes. The chute goes way below the pavement, so that there's like a huge, like, sort of container underneath. That is where all. Because otherwise it wouldn't make sense. I've seen several videos of this now where it's. Everyone. It's blowing everyone's mind.

[Brett Morris]

I very much.

[Madeline Walter]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Careful how you say that, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, Doug, that's how you said.

[Brett Morris]

You're trying to. You're being sneaky.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't say it. I said contain. Well, now I can't any other way.

[Brett Morris]

You did sort of say that.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Brett Morris]

Doug, how are we doing on time?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, here we go. He always gets. Oh, he's skating. That's a real problem. To the timer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

15 minutes.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, we got. We could go a little bit more.

[Nicole Parker]

What am I hearing? I heard something.

[Brett Morris]

That was my duolingo.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. What were you doing, Burt?

[Brett Morris]

I. I'm learning a language.

[Nicole Parker]

What are you learning?

[Brett Morris]

I'm learning Italian.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. Now, this is interesting because I thought you knew a lot of Italian because you grew up in medium Italy, but.

[Brett Morris]

They speak a dialect.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, they do.

[Brett Morris]

That's not standard Italian.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, what is. What is it?

[Brett Morris]

It's. I guess it's A Pompeian sort of dialect.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A lot of Bada Bings, Doug.

[Nicole Parker]

They were always saying Bada Bing and Pompeii.

[Brett Morris]

There's not that many Bada Bings.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Brett Morris]

But it's like, I think I've done this for you before. Like, if you were to say lasagna.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

You would say lasagna.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that's right. It really sounds like a hairball coming up.

[Brett Morris]

Yes, well, absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

And that is the dialect that you grew up with. You meet. Now you're learning the proper. Now what's the proper way to say it?

[Brett Morris]

Yes. Because lasagna.

[Nicole Parker]

Lasagna is yes. And Italian.

[Brett Morris]

A lot of it. A lot of. Oh, what's the proper way to say yes?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I said, what's the word for lasagna? You said yes.

[Brett Morris]

I see. A lot of Italian words are one to one.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Yeah, fair enough.

[Brett Morris]

Spaghetti.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure, sure. Why do you think they had add all that extra phlegm to it? And medium Italy. That just makes no sense.

[Brett Morris]

I think because of the smoke from the volcano.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Media Italy has its own small volcano that is active. Well, it's right in the middle of town. It's not huge.

[Brett Morris]

I meant Pompeii. But. But you are right. Of course. Meeting has its own little volcano. It's constantly threatening to go off.

[Nicole Parker]

It's called Pimpy Night. It's teeny. People greet it on their way to work.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. It's good luck to greet the volcano.

[Nicole Parker]

We greet the tiny volcano. The witch.

[Brett Morris]

Volcanino.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, Volcanino. Oh, that's so cute.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So this is great. Does Gabby enjoy this? Do you speak Italian to her?

[Brett Morris]

Well, Gabby already speaks Italian.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Brett Morris]

She speaks many languages. And we're planning a trip.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy.

[Brett Morris]

Why do you say that?

[Nicole Parker]

Nothing. The last trip you planned to a foreign country was really. I mean, let's. You should wonder why I'm saying oh, boy. Well, as everyone knows, this season started. Steven started out with learning that Gabby and Bernd went to Mykonos, and on their way back, I immediately had to make a lava landing because a volcano erupted and they had to scramble onto the top of the plane, rescued by a swarm of helicopters. Great sex after.

[Brett Morris]

That's it, Joan. Great summation.

[Nicole Parker]

I've gotten good at telling the story.

[Brett Morris]

You really have.

[Nicole Parker]

So where are you gonna go now?

[Brett Morris]

We're going to go to Italy.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

We're gonna do, like, a sort of tour.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, fun.

[Brett Morris]

Of different places. And we're going to go to Venice. Venezia.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

And Speaking of Indiana Jones and.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sure, sure. Yes.

[Brett Morris]

And we're going to take back samples of the water.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, why is that?

[Brett Morris]

Because it's very polluted.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Brett Morris]

And we want to see what happened because, remember, during quarantine, the dolphins came back to Venice.

[Nicole Parker]

That is true. You can see straight down. All of a sudden, it really cleaned up.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. We want to see what exactly is in there.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

You're not allowed to do this.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, great. Okay. Yeah. I wasn't sure that they would even allow it through customs.

[Brett Morris]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

How are you going to hide all the water? The little samples?

[Brett Morris]

Shampoo bottles.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They never suspect that.

[Brett Morris]

They never suspect that.

[Nicole Parker]

You just said that so casually. Okay, great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You should try to make. You should make pizza with that water. They say it's all in the water.

[Brett Morris]

I don't.

[Nicole Parker]

What does.

[Brett Morris]

That's true, Doug. That is a common refrain with pizza, but I don't. I don't think this water is potent.

[Nicole Parker]

Notable before Caesar came up with pizza. Pizza. It was. It's all in the water. That's what the little guy said in the initial promo.

[Brett Morris]

That's right. And he eclipsed the noid.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. This is out of left field for me. I have to also say to you, you're aware there's volcanoes in Italy? I don't know if you're gonna be near them, but, I mean, it just seems like borrowing trouble to go someplace where there might be another lava volcano.

[Brett Morris]

Magnets.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know. Gabby's a fire jumper. I think maybe you're a. You're volcano jumpers now.

[Brett Morris]

Smoke jumper.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm so. I always get that wrong. I know. I'm sorry, Gabby. How do you say I'm sorry in Italian? Is that good?

[Brett Morris]

That was pretty good.

[Nicole Parker]

I just spit all over my microphone. What's happening? I don't know what's happening.

[Brett Morris]

A lot of my way into speaking Italian is the. The mother from the Exorcist, who was. Who was Greek. Who was Greek. But I feel like the vibe is still correct.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. Because I was thinking, like, if you speak Italian, you know, to Gabby, it's in this sort of, like, Italian lover sort of voice. And it doesn't come out that way when you're playing an old woman Italian through the voice of a Greek. Well, I don't stay there.

[Brett Morris]

I sort of. I just.

[Nicole Parker]

A jumping off point.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Madeline Walter]

Sexy.

[Nicole Parker]

I heard I love you in there somewhere.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So this is exclusively why you're going. Is to get the water.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And as Doug says, make a pizza out of it. I know that's not what you're gonna do. That's right.

[Brett Morris]

But we are going to get that because we want to find out what is in that water.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Looting it so much. And of course, you know the famous story of Katherine Hepburn, Sleeky eyeballs.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes. Because of. What was it called? African Queen.

[Brett Morris]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, that was a different movie. Yes, that was Swim in some Sort of Water.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, she was. She had. She had a scene where she had to fall into the canals of Venice.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

And then after that, her eyes permanently leaked for the rest of her life.

[Nicole Parker]

That's terrible.

[Brett Morris]

Like, her eyes were always brimming with tears.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my goodness. I was like the loons with my geese. Are they geese and the loons always have leaking eyes? I can't do Katherine Hepburn.

[Brett Morris]

I thought that was terrific. I thought that was terrific.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought it'd be fun to try. Oh, God, I loved her.

[Brett Morris]

She was one.

[Nicole Parker]

She could wear a pant. Well, when is this trip happening?

[Brett Morris]

This trip is going to happen during our break.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

So I'll be able to tell you all about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait to hear about it.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Apprehended. No, babe, not the break of our podcast that we are doing right now. In general break. You know, between season, Stephen, and whatever. It's going to be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Good. Catherine Hepburn.

[Brett Morris]

All right, we're going to take a break and when we return, we'll have. Yeah, short one. Nobody's Nobody needs to bring her passports. And when we return, we will have a guest here on the neighborhood. Listen.

[Nicole Parker]

Hello, everybody. It's Nicole. Do you know what? It's the holiday time. It's the holiday season and it is one of my favorite times. I love gift giving, especially because I have a kid now. And whether or not the gift is coming from Santa, sh. Or me.

[Madeline Walter]

Shh.

[Nicole Parker]

It doesn't matter because the joy on that kid's face is the greatest. But I also really love giving gifts to my family. And you know what? It's really great when you get someone a gift that they wouldn't necessarily get for themselves. That little bit of luxury that they don't know they're missing. For quality gifts at an affordable price. My go to is is Quince. Now, Quince lets you treat your loved ones and yourself. Don't forget yourself this holiday season. Please don't forget yourself to everyday luxury at an affordable price. Something everyone needs in their closet, in my opinion. Quince's iconic Mongolian cashmere sweaters, which start at $50 or the ultimate year round gifts. Check out their 14 karat gold jewelry, Italian leather handbags and European linen sheet sets. Yum. Whatever you're looking for. All Quince Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. I want to be very clear. I said yum. But that doesn't mean they're edible. Please don't eat them. How do they do that? How do they go with pricing at 50 to 80% less than similar brands? By partnering directly with top factories and cutting out the cost of the middleman which passes the savings on to you. Quincy's on the nice list. Oh sure they are. They only work with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. And they use premium fabrics and finishes for that luxury feel in every piece. Now I just recently purchased this incredibly chic and incredibly comfortable and incredibly versatile white button down shirt. It's a short sleeve shirt. I love it. It goes with everything. I'm never taking it off. I mean I will. Okay. Gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag, go to quince.com TNL for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q U I n c e.com TNL to get free shipping and a 365 day return policy. Quince.com TNL Happy Holidays.

[Brett Morris]

Credit Karma makes building your credit straightforward and stress free. With help from our credit builders, sign up [e-mail] and start enhancing your financial health. Credit Karma, your partner in building a brighter financial future. Credit builder plan is serviced by Credit Karma Credit Builder and requires a line of credit and savings account provided by Cross river bank member fdic. Yoo Hoozy, it's Suzy. Anybody have a pig that would eat freezer food? I need to clean out some just leftovers like spaghetti or beef stew. Now I know from cartoons that pigs love to eat people food. They like spaghetti. They like lag. They like bagna. What else do they like? Keely May Pa So send your pig over Send your hungry, hungry pig over and let him go to town on my freezer. I'm Susie. Man.

[Nicole Parker]

Welcome back to I like that man. That was really cartoonish and fun.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I didn't mean to be cartoonish.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, but it was. I just enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.

[Brett Morris]

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Madeline Walter]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

I don't know what was going on with me, but welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen, and Joan, we have a guest as we always do, right here at the Kitchen Island. Folks, in case you're not aware, what we do is we scour the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods and we look for or some of our neighbors who have something interesting to say. And this week is no different. Now, if you see a post that perhaps we've missed, screenshot it and send it to [e-mail] so, well done. Thank you very much.

[Nicole Parker]

Great.

[Brett Morris]

I appreciate the positive reinforcement.

[Nicole Parker]

You're welcome.

[Brett Morris]

This is a post that's in the crime and safety section. It is posted by Mora. Mora posts a picture of an envelope. Like one of those puffy envelopes.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sure. Yep.

[Brett Morris]

And there's some rocks strewn about. And Mora writes, has anyone out there received rocks. Rock emoji in the mail. Mail truck emoji with your name and address. And you don't know who sent it. Why did I receive it? And I'm so confused. Confused emoji, double question mark. And here to talk to us more about these rocks in the mail is Mora. Mora. Welcome to the neighborhood. Listen.

[Madeline Walter]

Hi. Hi. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. I really. I need to be here. Oh, wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Is it really?

[Brett Morris]

No one's ever said that before.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I don't know. It almost sounds like we're. This is a safe haven in some way.

[Madeline Walter]

I hope so. I have. I hope no one knows my location at this moment.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my.

[Madeline Walter]

And I hope I can use this opportunity to get some answers.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Brett Morris]

I hope so, too.

[Nicole Parker]

Can I ask how long ago this was that you received, Roxanna? Was only one time.

[Madeline Walter]

It was one time. It was nearly a year ago. Oh, 11 months.

[Nicole Parker]

That's longer than I was expecting, I thought.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, me too.

[Madeline Walter]

No, it was nearly a year ago. It was 11. About 11 and a half months.

[Brett Morris]

So close to a year almost.

[Nicole Parker]

It'll.

[Madeline Walter]

And I will be shy celebrating the anniversary of receiving these rocks. But whatever the opposite of celebration is. Cause honestly, this has been the worst year of my whole entire life.

[Brett Morris]

I'm so sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Why are you saying that, like, weird stuff started happening ever since you got these rocks? Are you just afraid of not knowing who gave them to you?

[Madeline Walter]

The second one.

[Nicole Parker]

The second one. Okay, so how many rocks were there? Would you say?

[Madeline Walter]

About.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, seven.

[Madeline Walter]

Seven small rocks. One more of a shard than a rock.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, okay.

[Madeline Walter]

Okay. Possibly a shaving from a rock.

[Nicole Parker]

Possibly a piece of a rock. Maybe some shale.

[Madeline Walter]

Maybe. Maybe some shale. I've had the rocks analyzed, and that's their first supposition.

[Brett Morris]

I said no. I was just complimenting Joan on her supposition.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. I was just also noting. And then in turn, that that was the first supposition. We've ever had on the potential podcast.

[Brett Morris]

That's true. And do you think could the. Could the shaving or shard. I wonder if that was an afterthought where they said I could probably get a shaving in there.

[Madeline Walter]

I. And I. Well, and also it's quite sharp if you handle the shaving.

[Nicole Parker]

That feels. That feels intentional to you, you're saying I.

[Madeline Walter]

Yes, I believe it to be intentional.

[Brett Morris]

Really. Putting the puff of that envelope to the test.

[Madeline Walter]

That's right, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And there was no return address. I can't. Was there anything on the picture?

[Brett Morris]

There was no return.

[Nicole Parker]

No markings, no nothing?

[Madeline Walter]

No, no. Simply a barcode. It was sent priority mail.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh wow.

[Madeline Walter]

From the United States post.

[Brett Morris]

I can't make it out.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, shoot.

[Brett Morris]

There's no name but the address.

[Nicole Parker]

Were you able to make it out?

[Madeline Walter]

No, it was blurry. It was. It looked intentionally blurred.

[Brett Morris]

Oh. So what I'm saying is an accurate representation.

[Nicole Parker]

Great. It was intentionally blurred.

[Madeline Walter]

It looks to me like someone rubbed oil on that part of the label to blur it on purpose.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would you go to the trouble. I mean, I suppose you really can't mail something without putting the address on it. But then when was it?

[Brett Morris]

How not priority.

[Madeline Walter]

Not when you to the post office or even that. The. That mailbox store in our.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh yeah, that's right. Mailboxes, unfortunately. Or the mail place. Yeah, we have many options. But why would you then go to the trouble of writing it just to oil it out? I mean it's just to.

[Brett Morris]

I mean if you're going to send somebody rocks with no explanation.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Why not do that as well, I guess. And there was no. Just to be clear, there was no note with the notes?

[Madeline Walter]

No, no. Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Just rocks.

[Madeline Walter]

Six rocks. A piece of shale. An oiled out return address.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

Which my. I think the only logical assumption is that this was sent by someone who hates me and wishes me ill.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, I could say rocks isn't the most pleasant thing to be sent, but I'm not sure it necessarily disappointing. It sure is. It's, you know, it's Christmassy in a way. It's like you're on the naughty list. But it's not as bad as what other things you could receive. Now I also want to know, did anyone ever respond that they also received rocks? Are you the only one?

[Brett Morris]

And you don't think it was Santa Claus who sent these rocks?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sorry, that's Burnt's impression of Santa and it's never quite accurate as you can hear. But he doesn't hear it.

[Madeline Walter]

I Know, I found that frightening.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. See? Thank you. For someone else to come in here and hear this. It is. That's not at all. That's more of a. Sounds like more of an evil elf laughter.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, Joan. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

I didn't do notes after the show.

[Madeline Walter]

No, I think this is a good time. I didn't.

[Nicole Parker]

I. Yeah, she actually already is sort of traumatized, so that's. You said, actually, just.

[Brett Morris]

Just me.

[Nicole Parker]

Thanks. I'll take that note right now. Less notes for me later. So. So I do think that, you know, we need to keep our voices calm and steady and nothing that might sort of sound threatening. Did anyone else. Sorry. Did you see if anyone else got rocks?

[Madeline Walter]

Nobody got rocks.

[Nicole Parker]

And people told you that? They said, no, I haven't.

[Madeline Walter]

Somebody. Somebody said she had received 10 pounds of rocks.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Madeline Walter]

But then she followed up and said she had ordered them.

[Nicole Parker]

That was such a different.

[Madeline Walter]

I would say a waste of my time.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, absolutely. That was a mean trip.

[Brett Morris]

How were you phrasing the question before you. Before you posted.

[Madeline Walter]

How was I.

[Brett Morris]

When you. When you would say to people, oh, well, you received rocks in the middle.

[Nicole Parker]

This might be an important distinction. Did you ever actually talk to your neighbors in person, or is the only time you asked on this app?

[Madeline Walter]

Oh, well, no, I've. I've not talked to any of my neighbors.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I see.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what I was.

[Madeline Walter]

Because I'm afraid.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure. Well, do you have any reason to be. What are your neighbors like?

[Madeline Walter]

Well, my neighbors, we all seem to have a pleasant relationship. We have. And I. I live next to a number of people who I would now call my close friends.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Madeline Walter]

I lived on Jerusalem thorn Drive for 30 years.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah.

[Madeline Walter]

And the Jerusalem Thorn community, I would say, were very tight. Most of us go to church. But I just. I, for the first time, for the past 11 and a half months, no longer feel safe in my neighborhood because I believe someone is trying to get to me.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would it be a neighbor, not some random stranger, or, forgive me, some person who, from far away, is interested you in you or is. Or is upset with you. But why are you thinking it's a navy.

[Brett Morris]

I have something to add on to that.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Is there some association that you personally have with rocks where someone knew. Oh, this would be the worst thing to send you.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. Add on.

[Brett Morris]

Thank you, John. Well, this is the first add on.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, I'll. I'll answer your question first.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Madeline Walter]

Joan. I believe it to be one of my neighbors simply because these are the only people I really would say I know in town.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Madeline Walter]

I have some other casual relationships, of course. You know, I go to work, I go to the gas station, I get my coffee. I know other people, but to me this feels like.

[Nicole Parker]

It feels personal. To you.

[Madeline Walter]

It feels personal. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

And how about Burn's question?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. Now my question.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, I think when you're trying to kill someone in the mafia, you put rocks in their pockets. Are you too familiar with the mafia?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm too familiar. I mean, I wouldn't say I'm too familiar. I say I'm the right amount of familiar with the mafia.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Madeline Walter]

I meant the two of you. But I'm happy that you're not also overly familiar with the mafia.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, me too.

[Brett Morris]

At the risk of sounding like I'm too familiar with the mafia. I think that the mafia does a thing where they tie you to something heavy. Heavy. Like some cement.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

Famous cement overshoes.

[Nicole Parker]

That's. Yeah. And then they throw you in the water. Yes.

[Brett Morris]

And the rocks in the pockets, I.

[Nicole Parker]

Think is more rocks in the pockets.

[Brett Morris]

Virginia Wolf thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, is it? Oh, so that's more for. If you're sad.

[Brett Morris]

Do it yourselfer.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

That's a DIY project.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, either way it's sinister, don't you think?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, it is absolutely hard. Agree. But I. I guess I'm wondering, have there been any incidences before this happened with a neighbor that makes you think this? I know you said you associate rocks with. You know, some, but that's just because of mafia. So what? Do you have someone in mind? It almost feels like you're thinking of someone.

[Brett Morris]

I have another add on.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh God.

[Brett Morris]

Also, is there a difference between an incidence and an incident?

[Madeline Walter]

An incidence and an incident.

[Nicole Parker]

That feels like a. Like a. Like a past progressive note to me.

[Brett Morris]

It's not. I'm. I'm honestly wondering.

[Madeline Walter]

I think an incident describes a happening and an incident maybe is a modifier to describe something that happened.

[Nicole Parker]

Like you did. Great. You're not on the spot. I want you to feel safe. Okay? Don't worry about it. We could look it up later. It's not. It's not.

[Madeline Walter]

And if. If this is not the right answer, I would ask neither of you.

[Nicole Parker]

What's that, babe?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Incidentals. Related to these?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm not quite sure. I think there's a different. Well, it could be. It can mean a couple of things.

[Brett Morris]

They have to be related in some way. Well, of course they can't be not at all related.

[Madeline Walter]

If you're going to ask me about. I might. My refuge.

[Nicole Parker]

I only think of charges in a hotel room. When I hear incidental. Sorry. That's where my mind goes. And it doesn't have anything to do with incident. Okay, so. So is there anyone in mind that you have neighbor wise? Is there anyone that, like, your brain went. I bet it's blank.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, I, I think it could be anyone because I, I do think there are a great number of people in my life who hate me.

[Nicole Parker]

Why? What? Why? It seems so lovely. Perfectly pleasant. Somewhat paranoid maybe, but. Yeah, who isn't these days? Why do you think everyone hates you?

[Madeline Walter]

Well, I.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you do something?

[Madeline Walter]

There's a number. I've lived a full life. I have a great number of people who love me. Great number of people who hate me.

[Nicole Parker]

This great number. What is this unattainable great number?

[Brett Morris]

People who hate you? Can I ask, what do you do for a living? Do you have a. Are you a part of.

[Nicole Parker]

That was my next question. Yeah, she said she's party enforcement. So what do you do?

[Madeline Walter]

I work at the library.

[Brett Morris]

You work at the library? You have a great number of people that hate you.

[Madeline Walter]

Yes. You would be shocked at how many enemies you make working at the library.

[Brett Morris]

What are some of the things that would cause someone to hate you at the library?

[Nicole Parker]

And I want to point out, and I can't remember her name at the moment, but we have named her and she is the older. That's right. And the older librarian who will actually chase you. And she rings a bell if you turn in your book late. But I believe that she's been off sick for a long time and I wonder, are you filling in for her?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We also have the dark, the dark web section of the library. We can go on dark Facebook and dark microfiche.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, Dark Facebook.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's actually pretty positive place. Dark Facebook.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, that's good.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? Well, that's good to know.

[Brett Morris]

So sort of an opposite take.

[Nicole Parker]

You're at the library and are you running the front desk or are you restocking? Well, I guess not restocking, but, you know, putting books back to where they're supposed to be that are being turned in because people are scared of the late. The. What happens when it's late. What is your primary job there?

[Madeline Walter]

I, I work, I, my primary job is I work the front desk. Okay. And I, I do, I work in the mornings because Edna, even before her illness, she sleeps quite late because of being elderly. And so I, I, I take the morning shift.

[Brett Morris]

Elderly people, notoriously, yes. Sleep.

[Nicole Parker]

My grandmother always used to take long naps in the middle of the Day. And she'd say, I'm just practicing, you know, for death.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, for death.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. It was charming.

[Brett Morris]

That's fun.

[Madeline Walter]

That's right. You sleep and sleep until it's forever.

[Brett Morris]

That's all you do.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so you're at the front desk. What are you doing? Why do people not like you there?

[Madeline Walter]

They get very angry when I don't have the book they want, which happens more and more these days because our library is.

[Nicole Parker]

Because a lot of people don't return the books. Yes. And we don't have that much. It is a small library. But why would they get mad at you, really?

[Brett Morris]

They also really overestimated the staying power of Bridges of Madison County. And there's by far more copies of that than any other book.

[Nicole Parker]

I believe the most copies of Bridges Madison county anywhere in the world.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So we have a whole section.

[Brett Morris]

It's a sad record. Sad record to set.

[Madeline Walter]

And we have a number of editions. We have one with print.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Hardcover, paperback, one with, like, you know, Meryl Streep on the COVID Someone did pictures. Oh, really? Yeah.

[Madeline Walter]

We have a beautiful illustrated version. Oh, a picture book.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Madeline Walter]

It's very thick. It's about a foot and a half thick.

[Brett Morris]

Wow. Wow, that's a good book.

[Madeline Walter]

It's a long book for pictures.

[Brett Morris]

It sure is.

[Madeline Walter]

And it's not.

[Nicole Parker]

It's there.

[Madeline Walter]

They're not scrimping. Like book that pretends to have pictures, but just has one picture at the beginning of every chapter.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Oh, you are so right. Boy, do I hate those.

[Brett Morris]

How dare you?

[Nicole Parker]

Such a dirty trick.

[Madeline Walter]

I could not agree more. And so our illustrated Bridges has got at least six picture pictures a chapter.

[Nicole Parker]

I love them.

[Madeline Walter]

At least some of them even more the very visual chapter.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, and they also did the children's book version of Bridges of Maddow county, which is Butterflies in Madison County. And you can see the stories happening in the background, but since it's adults, you only see feet, you know, And. And it's just a kid chasing butterflies.

[Madeline Walter]

It's a beautiful addition.

[Nicole Parker]

I read it as a real rose of crazy.

[Brett Morris]

The text of the original story is very small underneath the. Yeah.

[Madeline Walter]

And. And because it's usually being read to a group of children, they can't even.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah. They can't even see it.

[Madeline Walter]

They think it's a small worm.

[Nicole Parker]

But I.

[Madeline Walter]

When I read it, I say. And look at the worm.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah. Well, kids love worms.

[Madeline Walter]

God, do they love worms.

[Nicole Parker]

Do they just love. Where.

[Madeline Walter]

My daughter loved worms.

[Brett Morris]

We have a daughter?

[Madeline Walter]

Yes, I have an Adult? Yeah, she. I mean, you have an adult. She's an adult daughter. Yeah, I don't. I don't own her. She's. She's an adult woman in the world. She doesn't belong to me.

[Nicole Parker]

No, her husband does.

[Madeline Walter]

Her husband, I do think could wish me dead. Wow.

[Brett Morris]

Okay. How old is she? How long has she been married? What are their names?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, let's give it to us, I think.

[Madeline Walter]

And then.

[Brett Morris]

Grand finale. Why does he hate you?

[Nicole Parker]

All the things.

[Madeline Walter]

Maura, these are. These are really terrific questions.

[Nicole Parker]

You can take your time. Thank you.

[Brett Morris]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Madeline Walter]

She's 20. Her name is Erica. Okay. Her husband's name is Stephen.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. Oh, like our season.

[Madeline Walter]

Okay. Oh, wow. I wonder if it means something.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no, I didn't. Oh, my gosh. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't always have to mean anything.

[Madeline Walter]

I'll put it. I'm gonna write it in my note. Just give me a moment while I do make a note. I. I've been needing to keep a.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, she's got a note. Oh, this is like a very. This looks like a ledger at a library. It's like a gigantic. This is not some thin little notebook that you just write dreams in, you know, this is like. This is like a record.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, I need it for my safety. Oh, wait.

[Nicole Parker]

Are those all. Is this book entirely full of names of people that you think hate you?

[Madeline Walter]

Yes, and some people who I think love me enough, they might want to be getting my attention now.

[Brett Morris]

That's all.

[Nicole Parker]

Confusing category.

[Brett Morris]

So. So this is late in the game for you to be introducing this. That you. You feel like most likely someone sent you these rocks because they hate you.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

And they're trying to send you a mafia encoded message. Or there's a small coterie of people who might just have a crush on you and they want to get your attention by sending you rocks. Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

They might be obsessed. I think there's possibly two or three people for whom that might be the case, but I'm still putting it.

[Nicole Parker]

What a place to live in where you think some people are obsessed with you or love you and then other people really hate you and maybe want you to die.

[Brett Morris]

I feel like that complicates the investigation.

[Nicole Parker]

It's true. Sure does.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, that's why this has, as I said, been the worst year of my whole entire life.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, why would Stephen hate you?

[Madeline Walter]

Well, Stephen may hate me because I hate him and have been very vocal about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Can I ask, is the reason why you think most of the people hate you hate you because you told them you hated them first? No. Okay. Just Stephen.

[Brett Morris]

She's the only one you've expressed. I hate you.

[Nicole Parker]

I hate you. Just write to his face. Okay. I just don't.

[Madeline Walter]

I don't mind that he exists in the world, but I don't think he's a good match for my Erica because he just. He doesn't. He doesn't have a talent.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. What does he do for a living?

[Madeline Walter]

He's a lawyer.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, okay.

[Brett Morris]

All right.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, you know, usually, at least, we like to see our children with people who we know can provide for them or maybe give something to the community.

[Madeline Walter]

I would say that's a trade, not a talent.

[Nicole Parker]

I suppose that. I suppose that. I get it. I get it. And what does your daughter do?

[Madeline Walter]

She teaches kindergarten.

[Nicole Parker]

Adorable.

[Madeline Walter]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And did you say what you did? Oh, yeah. Library. Okay. Yes, we got. You're at the library. She's teaching kindergarten. He's a lawyer.

[Brett Morris]

And how long have they been married?

[Madeline Walter]

Three and a half years. Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

And do they live with you? Why am I asking that? It feels like they do.

[Madeline Walter]

I don't know. They don't. They don't. They asked me. They asked me and my husband Bob if we wanted to move in because they built a beautiful house with an ADU that's bigger than our house.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Brett Morris]

Wow. Is it bigger than their house?

[Madeline Walter]

No. Okay. Their house is enormous.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Madeline Walter]

The ADU is simply big. And I said I don't want to live near Stephen. Cause I hate him.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Does your husband Bob also hate Steven?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I didn't know about the husband Bob, and so I have a lot of questions about him.

[Madeline Walter]

No. He actually gets along quite well with Steven.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. Well, what does Bob think about all of this? What does he think about the.

[Madeline Walter]

He wishes I would forget about them. That sounds about right. His theory is that I ordered something and forgot about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Which I have done. Can you give an example of something you ordered and forgot about?

[Madeline Walter]

Yeah. Some rubber sandals. I was looking at rubber sandals because my friend Elaine says she wears them in the shower at the Y. And I just go with my bare feet. And I've never had a problem. But it got me curious. I was browsing. I ultimately didn't want them. Cause my feet are fine. I've been showering barefoot in a public space for years, and I'm fine. But I thought I was clicking a button to make the picture bigger.

[Nicole Parker]

Ah.

[Madeline Walter]

And I ordered the sandals.

[Brett Morris]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

So then they showed up. Did you also take this as a Potential sign that people hated you or, like, were you as just confused as you were about the rocks? Well, no, because.

[Madeline Walter]

Because I thought if this was a gift, that's just nice. Oh, okay.

[Brett Morris]

Okay. It doesn't seem as aggressive as rocks.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Madeline Walter]

No rocks. No rocks. And don't forget a piece of shale.

[Nicole Parker]

But I'm just thinking.

[Brett Morris]

I have not forgotten a sharp. I promise you, Maura, I have not forgotten about that piece.

[Madeline Walter]

A sharp piece of shale.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. But I think I do. I think it should be the title of the episode. But I understand that Bob might think that this was another instance. Incident in so. Boy, there's that word again. It might be another example of that. But why. Thank you. But why would you have bought yourself some random rocks? Is my question. You know this.

[Brett Morris]

I had the same question, and I'm glad that you asked it.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, and I had the same question, and to me, the answer is, I didn't order them. And someone is trying.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. Sure.

[Brett Morris]

To get to me. You know, this is reminding me of the. The first season of and Just like that, where Miranda was an alcoholic, but only at home and during certain hours.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

And she ordered a book, how to Quit Drinking.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Brett Morris]

And she thought someone else had sent it to her, and then it turns out she sent it to herself.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. Because she ordered it when she was drunk.

[Brett Morris]

That's right. She was drunk. Between 9 and 11pm.

[Nicole Parker]

Do. Could. Do you drink? Do you have. Do you ever take any medication? Is it just possible that you for. Forget things like this?

[Madeline Walter]

I don't drink. I have one drink a year. Oh, wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. That's sort of festive.

[Madeline Walter]

Yeah. I have a large glass of wine on Christmas.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Madeline Walter]

Cause it's the color of Christmas. How can you not.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, red wine.

[Nicole Parker]

White or red on.

[Madeline Walter]

Exactly. Well, exactly. Yeah. But it's a Christmas drink. I have a glass of wine, and I alternate it every year. One white, one red. Year.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. So it does get boring.

[Madeline Walter]

You've got it. And the only medicine I drink is Pepto Bismol.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. Well, I think it's hard to overdose on.

[Brett Morris]

It is. And I don't think it affects your brain in any way.

[Nicole Parker]

No. No. Okay. Well, I guess I don't know what to say other than I still feel like you have some issue with these neighbors. Because I need to know more about them.

[Brett Morris]

Can I get back to Stephen?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sure. Go back to Stephen quickly.

[Brett Morris]

Has the subject of rocks ever come up between you?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's a good question.

[Madeline Walter]

Oh, well, okay. This is. Now, this is something I've given a lot of thought.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, great.

[Madeline Walter]

And I have. I have called Stephen dumb as a rock. But behind his back.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, behind his back.

[Madeline Walter]

Only to my daughter have you ever.

[Nicole Parker]

Said dumb as a bag of rocks? That's.

[Madeline Walter]

No, I wouldn't say that. Cause I don't.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what you got sent? Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

No, I'm not very creative, and I would.

[Nicole Parker]

Not very creative.

[Brett Morris]

Have you ever said dumb as six rocks and a piece of shale?

[Madeline Walter]

I wish I had. I wish I had.

[Nicole Parker]

Cause then I would.

[Madeline Walter]

Would know who is targeting me.

[Nicole Parker]

But you did say dumb as a rock.

[Madeline Walter]

I said dumb as a rock. Yeah, but I'm. But I'm telling you, I don't think Stephen would make that connection because as I said, he's competent, but not talented.

[Nicole Parker]

He's not well, and apparently dumb as a rock. So how would he make the comparison?

[Brett Morris]

Well, we're going by her assessment.

[Nicole Parker]

I know he's probably.

[Brett Morris]

They have a big house. It seems like he's doing pretty good for. I doubt if it's the kindergarten teacher salary only.

[Nicole Parker]

People with big houses are only smart.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, you don't need to be. Yeah, you don't need to be special to make money. Let's be honest.

[Nicole Parker]

This is absolutely true.

[Brett Morris]

But I was thinking a lawyer. A lawyer. While it's not a. You don't call it a talent, it is a sort of skilled profession.

[Nicole Parker]

It is. It is. You need to. You need to pass a very difficult test. You need to, you know, go through a bunch of review. It's like there's a lot of things to do. So, I mean, he. He's got to be bright in some way.

[Madeline Walter]

We took a pottery class as a family once, and I wish you could see the pot he made.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, now that's interesting, Brent, because, I mean. Well, because pottery and if. If a hardened clay was. Bro. It might look like. It might look like rocks.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

No, you're not. No, nothing there.

[Brett Morris]

The picture did look like rocks, I guess.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm trying to look at all angles.

[Brett Morris]

I'll grant you that shard.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Madeline Walter]

Now I can tell you it's rocks because I took them to a lab to get them analyzed.

[Brett Morris]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

You did?

[Madeline Walter]

I did. I took them to the Natural History Museum. Has an archaeology department.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course it does.

[Madeline Walter]

I had them analyze the rocks.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Madeline Walter]

And they are rocks.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

But nothing more.

[Nicole Parker]

There was no prints found on them. There was no trace of where they might have originated from.

[Madeline Walter]

No, I. There was. I went. They Have a machine. They can date rocks. They can say where they're. What time they're from. Absolutely. They briefly told me they were from the future, but the machine. There was a machine. Had been calibrated incorrectly.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, that sounds right.

[Madeline Walter]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

That would have been a totally different story.

[Brett Morris]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

Someone hates you in the future.

[Madeline Walter]

I know. I mean, I. What was.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Madeline Walter]

A black mirror.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you imagine? I had Netflix.

[Madeline Walter]

I had Netflix. Let me tell you. I had Netflix for two weeks. I watched every black mirror, and then there was nothing else I wanted to watch, so I canceled it.

[Brett Morris]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Brett Morris]

I don't blame you.

[Madeline Walter]

It's nothing. Nothing is good like Black Mirror.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, it is its own. It's its own thing, but. Okay, so they're not from the future. They were just plain rocks. You couldn't find anything else about them?

[Madeline Walter]

No, no, no. But I do. I don't. Stephen is moving to the bottom of my list simply because, as your questions have illuminated, I just don't think he's creative enough to do something.

[Nicole Parker]

Who is? Which neighbor is.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, my friend Elaine.

[Nicole Parker]

My best friend Elaine keeps coming up.

[Madeline Walter]

I would say she has been icy to me ever since I got the part she wanted in our church's production of Company.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Brett Morris]

So do you attend services at Saint Genesia's?

[Madeline Walter]

No, I go to the Methodist church.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, the Methodist church.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. This is a wild thing in Dignity Falls that this Methodist church cranks out amazing productions.

[Brett Morris]

They really do.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. It is strange because they try to sort of like. I don't know. I'm just guessing. I mean, I know that they try to put, like, a message about God just in them somewhere, but was this just straight company or did they try. Did they try to do the same sort of thing?

[Madeline Walter]

It was straight company mostly. We had our director. Our director, Ron. He felt very strongly that he didn't want the whole thing to be under a religious umbrella. So we had to pick one number.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. And which one was it?

[Madeline Walter]

It was. Do you know the. Another hundred people just got off.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course. Yes, yes.

[Madeline Walter]

So that became about.

[Nicole Parker]

Difficult song. Well, yes.

[Madeline Walter]

And Jesus sang it. And he said, another Jesus is a.

[Nicole Parker]

Character in this company only.

[Madeline Walter]

Only in this.

[Brett Morris]

Only for that one song.

[Madeline Walter]

Only for that one. Special guest star about this.

[Nicole Parker]

About the story of very couples in Manhattan in the 60s.

[Brett Morris]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct.

[Madeline Walter]

He gets one number. And our Jesus was good.

[Nicole Parker]

He was good. We had to be able to sing. Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

The Jesus we found actually is not a member of the church because that's.

[Nicole Parker]

The way it is. You always have to import the good singer. Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

Because no one had. No one who could sing that fast had long hair.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, you could always use a wig, but I get it.

[Madeline Walter]

We didn't want to.

[Nicole Parker]

You wanted authentic.

[Brett Morris]

Didn't want to.

[Nicole Parker]

Just didn't want to. Want an authentically long hair. You.

[Madeline Walter]

Because he moves and you don't want the wig.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure does.

[Brett Morris]

Yes, exactly.

[Madeline Walter]

The wig falls off, everyone's out of it. It turns.

[Brett Morris]

Never moves like real hair.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right, it is.

[Madeline Walter]

Never does. And it's too shiny. A wig is always too shiny.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep. I think we're in agreement about wigs. But how did they change it? What's the religious aspect of another 100 people?

[Madeline Walter]

Well, Jesus would say, well, another hundred people just came into my fold. Oh, okay. And they're running around and they love to praise me.

[Brett Morris]

Right, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Brett Morris]

So it's sort of the city of sin.

[Nicole Parker]

Some come to work, some to pray. Then they change to pray around.

[Madeline Walter]

Sometimes you're in the world. I know you're in the world.

[Nicole Parker]

I would love to do one of those Methodist plays. I mean, I've always sort of. I've dropped my resume off several times at that church.

[Brett Morris]

Right. Do you have to be a Methodist?

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, Jesus didn't have to be. The guy who played Jesus. Didn't.

[Brett Morris]

Well, he didn't go to the church. But was he a Methodist?

[Madeline Walter]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Madeline Walter]

We told him, but it's a don't ask, don't tell. We said don't if you're not a Methodist. We'd prefer to have no more information. So I actually don't even really know what his. Anything about him really, other than he had long hair and boy, could he sing fast. I bet.

[Nicole Parker]

And who did you. Were you in it? Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

I mean, I.

[Brett Morris]

She beat Elaine.

[Madeline Walter]

I beat Elaine.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. That's right. My brain blacked out when I heard about the just existence of this production for a second. So I did forget that.

[Madeline Walter]

Yeah, of course.

[Nicole Parker]

So, all right. So which part is it that you kicked her out for?

[Madeline Walter]

Well, ladies who lunch, of course.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, of course. Of course. Joanne. Yes, yes.

[Madeline Walter]

I mean, every lady in the church wanted that. Of course, the audition. They had to add another day.

[Brett Morris]

I just noticed of auditions. I just noticed you're wearing a huge white men's shirt and leggings.

[Madeline Walter]

Yes, yes. It's clothes to move in.

[Nicole Parker]

And so, okay, you get this part. And Elaine's furious. Did she still get to be in the show?

[Madeline Walter]

Yes, but she was just in that weird scene where people smoke weed.

[Brett Morris]

No, I'm not familiar.

[Nicole Parker]

It's really forgettable, gets really high. And that one person, that one lady doesn't really get to sing a whole lot. Right. And. And so it's not, you know, if you're not that really. Joanne. And if. If they. They choose to make the Bobby role, which is the lead, a female, which they did recently on Broadway, there's really another. Not that many other great roles for ladies.

[Brett Morris]

There's a loophole like that. Like, Bobby can also be a woman's name.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course it could. That's. Absolutely. And people ask a woman more often than a man nowadays, when are you gonna get married? It's true.

[Brett Morris]

It's very true.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely. So, okay. And I bet. I bet you were fantastic. How many shows did you guys have?

[Brett Morris]

Why do you bet that? And this is nothing against you, Maura. I'm just wondering why Joan was so certain that he know why.

[Nicole Parker]

Because that. That. That song is all about watching all the other women and judging them and guessing what it is that they're up to and more. Really kind of exhibits some of that sensibility of, like, those people hate me. Those people that might love me, you know, there' and also the way she's judged. Stephen, you know, maybe. Perhaps unfairly.

[Brett Morris]

Joan, you've made an airtight case here.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, but this production was before I got the rocks. And I used to be different.

[Brett Morris]

Hey. What? You okay?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. You never were suspicious of people.

[Madeline Walter]

No, I did hate Steven. You're correct. Okay, this didn't hate Steven, but I'm right about that. Oh, and I used to be. I used to be so carefree. I never locked my door. I left my purse on the trolley when I went into the store.

[Nicole Parker]

That's way trolley. You know, the.

[Madeline Walter]

The trolley.

[Nicole Parker]

We have a Dignity trolley that really only goes on two separate streets. And it's. It's now run by, like, a robot, but it used to be run by a guy named Cheddar McBurger.

[Brett Morris]

Cheddar McBurger? Yeah.

[Madeline Walter]

Cheddar the trolley man.

[Brett Morris]

This is all coming back to me now. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Madeline Walter]

And he died, Cheddar.

[Brett Morris]

He did die.

[Madeline Walter]

Yes, he did die, which is sort of sad for him, but good for the robots.

[Brett Morris]

It was. It was a terrible thing because, you know, he's going down the tracks, and there's three people tied up on the tracks. And.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, he.

[Brett Morris]

He said I could switch. I could switch the tracks, but then.

[Nicole Parker]

I would save those people.

[Brett Morris]

I could save those people.

[Nicole Parker]

And, you know, the decision made him have a Stroke and he died.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So. And the trolley ended up actually somehow killing all the people.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, it killed the three people on both tracks.

[Madeline Walter]

It's amazing to me the trolley still runs around.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. I can't believe they're still using that trolley. Me neither. It's gruesome.

[Nicole Parker]

It's gruesome. It's a dark mark on Dignity Falls history. It sure is.

[Brett Morris]

You should clean it though.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

Yeah, it's all charred.

[Brett Morris]

Okay. So. So this. This experience of receiving these six small rocks.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't forget the sharp shard. Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

And the sharp piece has changed you. Yes.

[Brett Morris]

Were there. And I feel like I have to ask this, Maura. Were you ever sent anything ominous or suspicious ever again in the interview that.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's such a. I was going to ask that a little while ago. Yes. Anything else happened in the 11 and a half months?

[Madeline Walter]

Well, no. Cause I refuse to receive mail now.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, how does that work?

[Madeline Walter]

I put two pieces of tape across my mailbox and I've written a sign that says says take it back.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that's gotta make Bob furious. So what, does he have to go down to the post office and collect all the mail?

[Madeline Walter]

He does. He's so angry at me.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh boy. I bet you missed a lot of bills.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, yes. Our lights turned off once.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, no.

[Madeline Walter]

But I keep telling Bob you can do that on the computer now.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, this is true. I mean, we have paperless billing for so many things now.

[Brett Morris]

Yes, but I mean. So has Bob reported any other rocks in the mail? Any other sort of things that should not be in the mail when he goes to. To pick it up?

[Madeline Walter]

No, no. He said it's. It's bills. I got. I received a birthday card from my sister. Okay. And I. I have told him if it's not absolutely necessary, I don't want to hear about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Then I guess here's my. My suggestion that this was just a one off thing. It doesn't seem like there's any follow up. It has been almost a year. I think maybe you could just let it go.

[Brett Morris]

I think you could let it go.

[Madeline Walter]

Just forget about it. Yeah, I think that's what the rock people want.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, now they're rock people? I thought this was just one individual. We don't an entire race.

[Brett Morris]

But Maurice says we don't race. I don't know. You don't think they're people made of rocks?

[Madeline Walter]

I know.

[Brett Morris]

I don't think breaking off.

[Nicole Parker]

When I.

[Madeline Walter]

When I heard the rocks were from the future. For that split second you can entertain that for sure I could entertain.

[Brett Morris]

That our future will become rocks.

[Madeline Walter]

Yes, yes. Well, because, you know, rocks are resilient, but so true. They really been around for a while. They. They sure have. They.

[Nicole Parker]

What's kind of funny is that Elaine Stritch, who of course originated Ladies who Lunch character Joanne and wore a famous. Famously wore a long white shirt. One of my favorite quotes about her. Yes. You didn't know? One of my favorite quotes about her is that she talks about how everybody's got something to deal with. Right. You know, and she's in the back of a cab and she's talking and she's just trying to like connect us all as a human. She's says everybody's got a bag of rocks. And I love that. We really all do have a bag of rocks.

[Brett Morris]

We really all do have a bag of rocks.

[Nicole Parker]

And you know what? So do you, Maura. You have a bag of rocks.

[Brett Morris]

Literal bag of rocks.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, oh, oh. Maybe it is Elaine, because she knows that quote from the Elaine Stritch documentary and so she sent you your own bag of rocks cuz she figured you had everything in your life was perfect.

[Brett Morris]

She must have thought she had it in the bag cuz her name is El.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. You are so correct.

[Brett Morris]

Gotta give it to me.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm Elain.

[Madeline Walter]

And also she can sing and I actually cannot sing.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, my fair. You can really speak that. Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

My take. I just. I talked it. That's what I do.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

And so. And I think that's actually what made me stand out from the pack because everyone was singing and I even like.

[Brett Morris]

The big rise at the end. You just sort.

[Nicole Parker]

I believe.

[Madeline Walter]

Yes, yes. Well, I said it long. Long.

[Nicole Parker]

I said it long.

[Brett Morris]

Well, singing is just sustained talk.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Or organized screening, as I like. I do know. I do believe that Elaine recorded that number with a cigarette in her hand.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. There's footage of it. Right. She's screaming and yelling.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, she's so angry. It's the best.

[Madeline Walter]

She's the best.

[Nicole Parker]

So wait a second. We might have. We might have nailed it here. And in that case, you know, she's not a bad. She's not a bad lady. Here's why she didn't follow up at all. She did it in the heat of the moment. Was it. Was it right around. Was it soon after you got the part? Because then that was 11 months ago.

[Madeline Walter]

It was. It was. It wasn't. It wasn't that soon after I got the part.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, this. The maybe it all falls apart production was.

[Madeline Walter]

It was in Gosh, when it was before the pandemic. Oh, wow.

[Nicole Parker]

This was a long time ago.

[Madeline Walter]

But it was a very memorable production. And I just, if you do say so. I mean, every.

[Nicole Parker]

People talked about the only good review Mitch McNutt gave that year. I will say that is true. Which, and he never does that.

[Brett Morris]

He never gives good reviews.

[Madeline Walter]

I mean, I, I, I saw him in the audience that he was weeping. He did, I think. Not to gossip, but he had recently gone through a pretty harrowing divorce, I think.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes.

[Madeline Walter]

Again.

[Nicole Parker]

To a woman no one ever saw.

[Brett Morris]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Ever. No, we didn't even know. No one even knew he was married. When he announced his divorce, he would sh.

[Brett Morris]

Her name into his column.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Melba. I think he called her Melba.

[Madeline Walter]

Melba, like the toast?

[Nicole Parker]

You like the toast? Yes, very much so.

[Madeline Walter]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I still think it might be a lady.

[Brett Morris]

There was one reviewer who said, who should we blame for this production? Blame, by the way, an anagram of my wife's name. Melba.

[Nicole Parker]

Blame. An anagram.

[Madeline Walter]

And he meant blame in a nice way. Oh, well, he wrote that in our, I'm thinking of our company review. And he said, who should I.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no. Yeah, he loved. And boy, did he rave about Jesus's hair. He said that was really the highlight.

[Madeline Walter]

Perfect amount of shade.

[Nicole Parker]

And I believe you got a good write up too.

[Madeline Walter]

I, Well, I, you know, I, who, who can remember? But I do.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, clearly you do. But that's okay. The blush on her face, my talk.

[Madeline Walter]

Singing.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe she could recite it. Word perfect.

[Madeline Walter]

Magnetic.

[Nicole Parker]

No, that is what he said. I really do think it might be Elaine. And then that case I wouldn't be worried, you know, because I don't think Elaine's gonna do anything cruel or nefarious.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, you don't know Elaine.

[Brett Morris]

Elaine.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, oh. Is there something we don't know about Elaine?

[Brett Morris]

Is Elaine sort of a nefarious character?

[Madeline Walter]

Well, Elaine, I think can become psychotic when she's angry.

[Brett Morris]

That's a very.

[Nicole Parker]

She becomes psychotic. It really is.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Madeline Walter]

Not literally, but not every time.

[Nicole Parker]

It's just. It can happen.

[Brett Morris]

It's like, what if the Incredible Hulk just sometimes turned into the Hulk.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Brett Morris]

That didn't happen this time. I guess I'm going to get beat up.

[Nicole Parker]

Plan anything.

[Brett Morris]

So when you say psychotic, is that an exaggeration or is she. Is there some sort of mental illness that she has?

[Madeline Walter]

No. And let me be clear, I probably should not use that word. Probably not. What I mean is she has expressed some displeasure with my behavior before.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so that's not necessarily psychotic. That is a different. Sorry, escrow, my 30 year old dog has come in to say hello. Sorry, Maura. I hope that you're not allergic.

[Brett Morris]

I think it's sweet that you're lying about Escrow's age on his behalf.

[Nicole Parker]

He is 30.

[Brett Morris]

Look at you. You're 50 of your day.

[Nicole Parker]

So it's very different. It's very different than the word psychotic which you just described. I would say she just.

[Brett Morris]

Sometimes she has problems with your behavior. You characterize that as being psychic?

[Nicole Parker]

Being psychotic. Oh, boy. Oh, man. Well, here's what can I.

[Brett Morris]

Here's what I think.

[Madeline Walter]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

I think that Elaine was jealous that you got this role. I think she probably is familiar with the bag of rocks quote. I think she sent this to you as a gag, thinking you would know it was from her because you are friends, right?

[Nicole Parker]

No need to explain. She'll get this a funny and joke.

[Brett Morris]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And you know what? I'm going to throw in some sharp shale just for the hell of it. Maybe she just confessed quote, wasn't. Everybody's got a bag of rocks and some shale.

[Madeline Walter]

But why so little?

[Nicole Parker]

Why? Why. Why would the rocks be so little? It's. I think if you. If I p. I picture bag of rocks as like a tiny little like satchel. I guess I'm not like a tiny little like coin purse. I'm not picturing a gigantic bag.

[Brett Morris]

No, it's like one of the smaller. Oh, wait, you're talking about in the quote or in.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, that's what I picture in the quote. I picture something small. I picture small bag of rocks. She's saying it should be bigger maybe.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I think it should be bigger.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you're thinking it should be like a.

[Brett Morris]

Everybody has a bag.

[Nicole Parker]

I can hear Doug nodding. I can literally hear him nodding.

[Brett Morris]

I think this middle.

[Nicole Parker]

Agree. Were you picturing a big bag?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah. Bigger than a sandwich bag?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. I. I feel like it's a. It's a bag that's inconvenient. At least it's not necessarily a naps.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess I was thinking of a rock in your shoe.

[Brett Morris]

How do you see the bag of rocks?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, big. Okay. I stand alone and thinking it was tiny. I don't know why I did. I was thinking would be the point of mentioning it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That doesn't seem like like that much of a burden if it's just a little like.

[Nicole Parker]

It's like a rock in your shoe, you know, just a. Just an inconvenience a concept. Well, it's the shoe. I can see I am on the losing end of this argument, and Elaine is not alive anymore to tell us which one it is.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, great mystery up there with Easter Island.

[Madeline Walter]

A small bag of rocks is like a treasure. And maybe she was trying to say everyone has a treasure in the world. She definitely wasn't.

[Nicole Parker]

She was talking about tragedy. But. Okay. Well, I do think you're right. Burnt in that she thought this would be kind of a cute joke. And I think you can sort of let it go and not be worried anymore.

[Brett Morris]

And I think the reason the rocks were small is because it's less expensive to mail.

[Nicole Parker]

What's she gonna do, send a gigantic bag of rocks that's several pounds heavy?

[Brett Morris]

She's a little thrifty.

[Madeline Walter]

Yeah. There you go. One year, for my birthday, she gave me a T shirt that she told me was from a package of seven.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God.

[Brett Morris]

Such as, like, a plain white T shirt.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would you even mention that?

[Brett Morris]

That seems so unnecessarily Hanes her way.

[Madeline Walter]

But that's why I check.

[Nicole Parker]

But that's why I didn't even put anything on it. Didn't draw on it. Nothing.

[Brett Morris]

And didn't give the other six T shirts.

[Madeline Walter]

No, no, she ripped. I watched her take it out of.

[Nicole Parker]

The pack, and it wasn't even packaged on its own.

[Madeline Walter]

She said, hold on. I know it's your birthday.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? I'm sorry. She is psychotic.

[Madeline Walter]

God. Thank you. Thank you.

[Brett Morris]

All right. Okay. So. So, Maura, before we let you go.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

How confident do you now feel that it was Elaine who sent you this bag of rocks and one chart of shale?

[Madeline Walter]

Well, not at all, actually.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. So we've done. We've done no help. We've done nothing to help.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. Not. We tried, though.

[Nicole Parker]

We really did. I'm going to still repeat it one more time where I do think that's what happened. I also just want you to move on from this because it's now taken up a year of your life, and I think you're safe. I'm just going to go. I'm going to. I'm going to say, take the tape off that mailbox. Take the sign off that mailbox. Don't worry about what your neighbors are thinking of you until they actually say something and complain. You know, which hasn't happened yet. Well, as far as we know.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, now I'm beginning. Now I'm beginning to have some fears that maybe somebody in this room said no.

[Brett Morris]

Now, come on.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would we even do that?

[Brett Morris]

We just met.

[Nicole Parker]

What a thing to say, Well, I.

[Madeline Walter]

I happen to know you both have library cards.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, we do. But I do not have any outstanding debt. I don't have any overdue books. I know this.

[Brett Morris]

I have tons. But so what?

[Madeline Walter]

I would not. I didn't come in here thinking either of you were trying to get under my skin with this bag of rocks.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm still thinking that.

[Madeline Walter]

Why else? Let me ask you this. Why else would you be encouraging to let my guard down? I came on here because it's been.

[Nicole Parker]

Almost a year, Maura.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, I came here to get more information, to get my story out about the rocks, not to be told to stop.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I'm so sorry. Apparently, our attempt to help has come across as threatening.

[Brett Morris]

I'm about to get psychotic here. Maura, you came looking for more information, and we're here to tell you there is no more information. You are obsessing over something you don't need to obsess over. You have to let this go. Let Bob get his mail on and just ask Elaine. Did you send me a bag of rocks?

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? I think that's a great first step. Ask her point blank. Did you send me a bag of rocks eleven and a half months ago? Okay. I wish.

[Brett Morris]

I don't even think you have to say the time. I think you could just say, did you ever send me a bag of rocks?

[Nicole Parker]

I agree. I agree. And honestly, I wish you well, which is what we always say to people. And I really just hope that.

[Brett Morris]

I'd like to mean at this time.

[Nicole Parker]

I hope you know that we had nothing to do with this. Oh, my God. She's staring right now.

[Madeline Walter]

I. I can't believe this. I appreciate.

[Nicole Parker]

Nope, she doesn't believe it.

[Madeline Walter]

You having me on the show. And I will be keeping. She's quivering.

[Nicole Parker]

She is shaking the microphone, is shaking her hand.

[Brett Morris]

I've never seen anyone more angry in my life.

[Nicole Parker]

And I know she's not wearing a wig because her hair. Every. Every single strand of hair is vibrating.

[Madeline Walter]

And it's not too shiny.

[Brett Morris]

No, it's not too shiny.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, Maura, we do have to let you go, but I hope you can let this go.

[Madeline Walter]

Well, I would. I would like to believe that that's what you wish for me. And I would like to say this has been a pleasure because some of it has been pleasant. Ouch.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. What a review.

[Brett Morris]

Wow.

[Madeline Walter]

But I do need to. I'll be taking my notebook and calling an Uber.

[Nicole Parker]

Sounds good.

[Madeline Walter]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, Maura. Well, I'm sorry we couldn't be of more help.

[Madeline Walter]

In a way, you have been of help. Okay, thank you.

[Brett Morris]

Wow. We've been granted that. All right, well, we gotta take a break. More when the neighbor. Listen returns. Your business deploys AI pilots everywhere. But are they going anywhere? Or are they stuck in silos, exhausting resources, unable to scale? Maybe you don't need hundreds of AI pilots. You need a holistic strategy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

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[Brett Morris]

Expertise who can help you design, integrate and optimize AI solutions.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you're not just deploying AI, you're.

[Brett Morris]

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[Nicole Parker]

Hi, everybody, it's Jordan. Here's a 60 free pink angel baby soap for Baby shower. Individually wrapped handmade pink soap with angel design leftover from a baby shower, originally purchased off Etsy. As you can see, there's like a ton behind me, but I'm only giving like behind my hand you can see that there's like. I'll be honest, I have 150 of these things, but this one. 149 is the number, what I call it. Pretty sure this is a Horcrux, like straight up Harry Potter Horcrux. I think that something's living inside of it. And if you zoom in on the face, like you can really almost see it. So I just really need you. I'm not. As you can see, it's free. We. Because someone has to take it from me. And if someone doesn't take it from me, it's going to keep. It's gonna keep telling me to go stand on my shower in the middle of the night. I don't know why that's all it asks me to do. But you know what? I'm sick of standing in my shower. So I don't want to do that anymore. Thanks. Bye.

[Brett Morris]

And welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen, and what can you say about Maura?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I'd say if there was a theme of season, Stephen, is that it's a lot of people who we really almost could help, but they just don't want to receive that help.

[Brett Morris]

I think that she deserves every bad thing that is coming her way.

[Nicole Parker]

Burnt. Come on now. This too far.

[Brett Morris]

Sometimes she's absurd. This is.

[Nicole Parker]

She made you dark.

[Brett Morris]

We. She made me dark. Oh, you don't see dark, burnt.

[Nicole Parker]

I. Oh, extra burnt.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, I. I feel like she just. There was no problem there. We tried to help her. She just refused to listen to reason.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct.

[Brett Morris]

I bet she wasn't even that good in that production.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, now that we don't know. Know that. Of course. I mean, if Mitch raved, I'm. I'm. I'm always tempted to not believe him.

[Brett Morris]

This guy Mitch is like opposite day in a turtleneck.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Brett Morris]

People think it's good, he thinks it's bad. People think it's bad. He thinks it's good.

[Nicole Parker]

And, you know, so happy to be contrary. Yes.

[Brett Morris]

If something is bad, people say it's bad. He will tell people they're too stupid to get it.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. I hate that kind of response. Hey, babe. How's the rink going? Do you have any new squares?

[Brett Morris]

Question? Question, Joan, Any new squares?

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Brett Morris]

What's that?

[Nicole Parker]

That sounds like you're.

[Brett Morris]

Are you chopping?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, Chopping ice.

[Brett Morris]

Are you ice fishing in the house?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I'm picking at the ice. I'm.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, did you just buy, like, a gigantic block of ice?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. See, what happens is the twins, they keep spraying me down with water and then saying I'm going to be the Pilt.

[Brett Morris]

They keep saying that.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, now this. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So then I'm trapped in this block.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. I do not have that reference. What is that?

[Brett Morris]

The Piltdown man was like. He was sort of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think that's the thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I think that's a thing, or.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They think it's a thing. For sure.

[Brett Morris]

This. This.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's an ancient guy found in a block of ice?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, is that right? Oh, this is a caveman in the ice. Is that thing.

[Brett Morris]

I thought he was just in the ground.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't know.

[Brett Morris]

Guys, one of those ice guys.

[Nicole Parker]

One of those ice guys.

[Brett Morris]

Are you thinking of Captain America and Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, the two most famous ice guys. Guys, let me look up Pill down, man, really quickly, okay?

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, it sounds familiar, but I would never have been able to tell you what that is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they think. They certainly think it's a man.

[Nicole Parker]

So what they're doing. Served in ice, okay. They're spraying me with water and because of the low temperature.

[Brett Morris]

This isn't on you, Doug. This is on them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is on them if they might be wrong. Yeah. But, yeah, they keep hosing me down, and then it freezes, and then so I'm picking the ice off myself.

[Brett Morris]

I love this.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. What is it?

[Brett Morris]

The Piltdown man was a paleo anthropological fraud.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Brett Morris]

In which bone fragments were presented as the fossilized remains of a previously unknown early human.

[Nicole Parker]

See, boys. Frozen sea Boys.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a fraud.

[Nicole Parker]

Sea prness.

[Brett Morris]

An extensive scientific review in 2016 established that. Recently established that amateur archaeologist Charles Dawson was researching. Responsible for the fraudulent evidence.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Imagine being known for that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now they're making Molotov cocktails.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well, all right, you know what? Let's finish this episode, and I'll just.

[Brett Morris]

Call that Tuesday around here. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At least make it a mocktail.

[Brett Morris]

Molotov.

[Nicole Parker]

Molotov mocktail.

[Brett Morris]

What would be in that?

[Nicole Parker]

So is it literally. It's not real fire? They're not really gonna set it on fires. That would be it. That would be it. Right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I guess it's just not alcohol.

[Nicole Parker]

They don't. They just don't set it on fire. But they do still throw a glass at your head. A bottle at your head filled with seven up. Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Grenadine. All right, we have time for one more person. Joan, you say you have one?

[Nicole Parker]

I do have one. I do have one.

[Brett Morris]

If my sources are correct.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, they are correct. This comes from. Oh, hang on. This. She's like, you're gonna have to. You're gonna have to.

[Brett Morris]

Joan, did you lie?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I didn't. This comes from. From Fred.

[Brett Morris]

From who? Fred.

[Nicole Parker]

Fred.

[Brett Morris]

I thought you said thread at bird, too.

[Nicole Parker]

It comes from Fred. And here's the thing. There's a video he posted. It's no longer playing. Guess what. That doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. Trust me.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

What's this bird? The bird came to my community, walking around. It was very calm. I offered food, but was not interested. Got so close to it to take a video. It seems that. Looking for an address. Address.

[Brett Morris]

He's saying this of the bird.

[Madeline Walter]

Correct.

[Brett Morris]

It seems like it was.

[Nicole Parker]

How would he determine word for word? Again, it seems that. Looking for an address.

[Brett Morris]

Looking for an address.

[Nicole Parker]

He doesn't like articles or extra, you know, unnecessary words throughout the whole thing. Yeah, but he was in a rush.

[Brett Morris]

To find out about this bird.

[Nicole Parker]

You see why it doesn't matter. Now I will show you. We normally don't go into the comments, but it's clearly many people suggest it's an egret or a white heron. So it's clearly that. Which again, also, people always are curious about something, and it's so obvious what it is. I mean, I feel like everyone knows what a crane looks like. Do you know what I mean? Everyone knows what a rock looks like. When I've done these posts where people say, what is that? Someone did it for a dragonfly. Dragonfly, you know? But this is clearly a heron. But also, how in the world has he determined this bird was looking for an address?

[Brett Morris]

That is intriguing to me. And also when he says, I offered it food, but not interested.

[Nicole Parker]

Not interested.

[Brett Morris]

So is he not interested?

[Nicole Parker]

I believe I.

[Brett Morris]

When I. I actually wasn't interested. I was just going through the motions.

[Nicole Parker]

Going through the motions of when someone comes into my community. Like this bird came into my community.

[Brett Morris]

I do want to see the video, though.

[Nicole Parker]

I wish we could see the video. I know it's not playing. I know. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But it doesn't play. Oh, that's something different.

[Brett Morris]

What do you have?

[Nicole Parker]

It's a necklace that someone's trying to sell. Everybody calm down. So. But. So I know that birds sometimes do that thing like they cock their head and they might. Was it just that the bird would be walking a few steps and then cocking its head at a house? Is that what made him think it was like reading the numbers.

[Brett Morris]

If a bird was going from house to house looking at door numbers, I would say, yes, that bird's looking for an address.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, here's the thing. The reason I went into the comments is that I thought, well, maybe it was a crow. Because we do know that crows remember places and faces very smart. And so it could have been. But every. That's right. Every. Everyone is absolutely certain that this is a white crane. And they're not known for that kind of thing, right?

[Brett Morris]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Just know, for being majestic and calm, like he said.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. And sometimes loud, I guess.

[Nicole Parker]

Are they. I've never heard that. Of what? The sound a crane makes or the sound of a herring.

[Brett Morris]

I guess I had just imagined they'd be loud.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know.

[Brett Morris]

A bird that big.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, gosh, if we had the video, we would hear it, baby. But yes. I don't. Fred, I don't think that bird. I think that. I don't think that bird's looking for an address. What a weird thing to say.

[Brett Morris]

Fred, you're out of your mind. Maybe I'm still bad at bird, but, Fred, you're Wasting everyone's time. Get off the neighborhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Extra burns. You got burnt.

[Brett Morris]

Extra burnt. I'm so burnt. I'm crispy right now.

[Madeline Walter]

Ooh.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Well, listen, if you would like to hear ad free versions of our episodes and hear our bonus content, which I think we mentioned earlier, you can go to cbbworld.com and register on the Maximus tier and you will get access to that wonderful stuff as well as bunch of other fantastic programs.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Incredible programming.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, thanks for simply incredible programming.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what they should say on.

[Brett Morris]

They should say incredible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, incredible.

[Brett Morris]

I can see it. White lettering.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

On like a. A green screen. Whoa. Maybe an Arial font. And it just says not brat Green. Okay, maybe a darker shade than brat. Will anyone even remember brat when this comes out? This just.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God. I don't know.

[Brett Morris]

This is just like a. A couple months. Months after Brat Summer is ended. It would be funny if that instantly evaporated from people's minds.

[Nicole Parker]

It would.

[Brett Morris]

And it just says interesting programming. Period.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I like the period. Very good. Well, there you go. Interesting programming. You're welcome.

[Brett Morris]

That's the end of the show.

[Nicole Parker]

It is.

[Brett Morris]

We have one episode less than. Less than this. I did it again. You can't double less.

[Nicole Parker]

We got to stop. We got to go eat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We know what I said earlier that you guys missed?

[Madeline Walter]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I said we egret the error.

[Nicole Parker]

You did not. Just recently, after we were talk. Did you say it after I brought up this bird post?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I said it, I think, when you.

[Brett Morris]

Was it within this episode?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. That would be crazy if. If it wasn't.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I have a.

[Brett Morris]

You can hold a good.

[Nicole Parker]

I have a feeling that Doug holds on to a lot of the great, like, one liners that he doesn't get acknowledged for. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Every time we're walking with the kids, we see those egress and say, I live life with no egress.

[Madeline Walter]

He does.

[Brett Morris]

But then there they are. So you don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, they always say that.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you know, of course it means regrets.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I say.

[Brett Morris]

And then they think the pillow man was trapped in ice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy.

[Brett Morris]

All right, everybody, we do have to go and just. I don't. Also, we have a disc. There's a discord. If you want to jump in the discord. You could talk about it with other people if you don't want to go in the cesspool that is Reddit.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, then go to.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's keep it nice.

[Brett Morris]

Go to. Actually, our Reddit is pretty nice as well.

[Nicole Parker]

It's lovely.

[Brett Morris]

I've been on there, but yeah, go to. The CBB World will grant you access to that. To that Discord as well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Teaming.

[Brett Morris]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

Teaming. We're trying to sign off. Babe, what's going on?

[Brett Morris]

You can't just say the word teaming.

[Nicole Parker]

You can't. Why not? You mean like as a team or something?

[Brett Morris]

Teaming.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not a.

[Brett Morris]

It's not a word that just stands on its own.

[Nicole Parker]

No, it doesn't stand on its own. If you must. You must give context.

[Brett Morris]

What is teaming with? What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Discord is teeming with life.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so it is that. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I was afraid that's what he meant. Honestly, it was.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nothing to be afraid of.

[Nicole Parker]

But it's just that the rest. The rest of the words were lately. All right, babe.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, okay, that's enough. We'll be back for our season finale next week. And until then, goodbye and bye.

[Nicole Parker]

All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Brett Morris]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins, and me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nicole Parker, and me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Madeline Walter.

[Brett Morris]

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Come Bang Bang world.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free, as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the show.