Appealing The Ban w/ Tara Copeland

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Neighborhood Listen

Episode: Appealing The Ban w/ Tara Copeland
Release Date: October 21, 2025
Hosts: Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), Doug (Brett Morris)
Guest: "Scott" (played by Tara Copeland)

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Episode Overview

In this episode of The Neighborhood Listen, hosts Burnt, Joan, and Doug explore life in the quirky town of Dignity Falls through the lens of neighborhood app posts. Their guest, "Scott," is a contentious but fascinating community member who’s just returned from a month-long ban from the NeighborHap app. The episode dives into neighborly drama, conspiracy theories, social etiquette, and the ever-slippery subject of what gets you “banned” in a digital community.

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Key Discussion Sections & Insights

1. Dignity Falls Oddities & Local Gossip

[03:00–13:30]

• Broken School Buses & Kids on Fire Trucks:
  The episode kicks off with a local crisis: all the school buses died at once, prompting firefighters to shuttle kids to school on fire engines.

  • “It’s almost like they all were brought down at the same exact time.” – Joan [02:15]

• Instagram “Bus Life” Trend Commentary:
  Joan rants about people converting buses into homes, fearing a local trend is about to arise.

• Downton Abbey & Britishisms Tangent:
  Recurring inside jokes about British TV; hosts riff on forgotten plotlines and accents, setting a whimsical tone for “Season Klein.”

• Rattan vs. Wicker:
  Doug introduces his new backyard project, “Rattan World,” sparking a mini-debate about the difference between rattan and wicker, with banter over whether rattan is fancier or flimsier.

  • “I think all rattan is wicker. Not all wicker is rattan.” – Doug [13:00]

2. Community Dynamics & Family Shenanigans

[13:30–30:00]

• Doug’s “Rattan World” Workforce:
  Comically, Doug employs local elderly ladies to help weave furniture. Joan is skeptical about labor conditions and the practicality of weaving playground equipment from flammable materials.

• Kids’ New Obsession: The Pooh Man Group:
  Joan’s twin sons, previously deep into improv, are now inspired by the Blue Man Group to start their own plumbing-themed act using tubes and pipes.

  • “They’re gonna call it the Pooh Man Group.” – Joan [23:32]

• Pneumatic Tube Mishap:
  Burnt recounts a pharmacy story where a skinny coworker got their head stuck in a pneumatic tube—after covering it in butter.

  • “He got his head stuck in there. He did it so gradually, he...coated his head in butter.” – Burnt [25:31]

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3. The Guest: Scott Returns From Ban

[33:00–63:55]

Introduction to Scott & Reason for Ban

• The Post:
  “My month-long ban has been appealed and I will continue posting my thoughts and questions. I am an important contributor... I just want to help people.”

• Scott’s Defense:
  Scott passionately claims she was unjustly banned for “speaking truth to power,” suggesting the existence of a “shadow government” that controls the app and oppresses helper-types like herself.

  • “It’s the shadow government maybe...they don’t want people to be helped. They don’t want us to be in control of the fixing of our own problems.” – Scott [33:31]

• Examples of Her “Helpfulness”:

  • Fostered a kitten found in the road.

  • Notified others about Trader Joe’s tote bag sales.

  • Offered brutally honest fashion advice (e.g., “Neither [dress] looks good on your body.” [37:02])

  • Criticized local shop owners for “reprehensible practices” (overcharging, long lines, etc.).

  • “I said, neither looks good on your body.” – Scott on why her fashion advice got her in trouble [37:02]

• Conflict Over Drugstore Security:
  Scott questions why deodorant is locked up behind glass, learning kids were eating it mistaking it for “push pops.”

  • “That’s on the parents to keep their children in line.” – Scott [44:10]

• Conspiratorial Beliefs:
  Scott escalates from local criticisms to broader conspiracy: the government—possibly tech bros, AIs, maybe even intergalactic overlords—are controlling technology, buses, even the NeighborHap app.

  • “There really is just one government. And I know they want you to think...but it’s all tied together. Tech bros, apps, AIs...” – Scott [46:20]

Philosophical Detours, Sexual Overtures, and Reverse Harems

• Government Ban Solutions:
  Scott proposes abolishing government at all levels, advocating unregulated personal fulfillment, but dodges practical questions about how this would work.

  • “What would you replace [the government] with?” – Joan [53:18]
    “Personal way of self-will, self-identity...self-fulfillment.” – Scott [53:22]

• Sexual Banter:
  When Joan questions Scott’s logic by hypothetically moving into her house, Scott responds with suggestive bravado:

  • “I would rock your world.” – Scott, close and personal [56:31]

• Scott’s Income Source:
  Scott reveals she writes Omegaverse reverse harem werewolf fan fiction, opting for the “why choose” happy-ending genre.

  • “Omegaverse? Wolf. Reverse. Harem pack. Omega Pack. Well, some people call it a why choose.” – Scott [58:20]

• Wrap-Up of Ban Appeal:

  • Scott stands by her right to “speak truth,” repeatedly inserts invitations for Joan and Burnt to come to her home (“If you have more to say, come to my house...”), and ultimately gets “banned” again, this time by Doug.

  • “You’re banned.” – Doug, taking charge [63:55]
    “I can accept your banishment. If it’s how he feels and what he wants, then bring it on.” – Scott [64:14]

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4. Aftermath: Hosts Reflect

[66:35–end]

• Debriefing Scott’s Visit:
  Burnt and Joan are exhausted, theorizing Scott’s main issues are loneliness, contrarian attitudes, and paranoia, notably about “shadow governments.”

  • “I don’t think the case was made that a shadow government is controlling [the app]. It was just something she said over and over and over again.” – Burnt [67:27]

• Conspiracy Humor:
  Doug jokes about his abandoned “coincidence room” (a leftover tangent from his days dabbling in conspiracy theories).

  • “It’s just a yarn and corkboard room now. It’s just a bunch of coincidences.” – Doug [68:29]

• Joy in the Mundane:
  As tension dissipates, the hosts share and gently roast sweet local posts, such as a nonagenarian harvesting pomegranates, and banter about specialty canes at the pharmacy.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Tough Love:

  • “They asked which dress and I said neither. So I mean, how is that a bannable? It’s just the truth.” – Scott [39:43]

• On Paranoia & Bans:

  • “If you have more to say, come to my house and we can talk about it.” – Scott [62:24]

• Name Debate:

  • “You said lawyer for a long time.” – Doug
  • “Lawyer.” – Doug (pronouncing it like 'lore-yer') [19:47]

• Sexual Escalation:

  • “If you came and lived in my house, I would rock your world.” – Scott [56:31]
  • “Living in my house is what Taylor Swift’s ‘Wood’ is about. It’s about me, baby.” – Scott [56:55]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:00] — School bus fiasco; community adaptation
• [13:00] — Wicker vs. rattan debate
• [23:32] — Pooh Man Group plans revealed
• [25:31] — Pharmacy pneumatic tube incident
• [33:00] — Introduction of Scott and the ban topic
• [37:02] — Scott’s “helpful” fashion advice
• [44:10] — Kids eating deodorant; store security explained
• [46:20] — Scott’s shadow government theory
• [53:18] — Joan presses Scott for replacement ideas
• [56:31] — Suggestive banter (“I would rock your world”)
• [57:03–59:04] — Omegaverse fan fiction admission
• [63:55] — Doug “banishes” Scott on the air
• [66:35] — Hosts’ post-interview reactions

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode is classic Neighborhood Listen—high-energy, sly, and brimming with absurdity, but always grounded in the realities of small-town relationships, digital-age etiquette, and the strange ways we all seek connection. The hosts’ patience and playful skepticism are tested by their guest, whose tendentious energy and penchant for disruptive “truths” gives the episode its wild momentum. Throughout, the trio maintain a sharp comic timing, weaving tangents about local gossip, pop culture, and interpersonal absurdities into a riotously entertaining whole.

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Transcript

[A]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[B]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[A]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you teach me. So, Dana.

[B]

Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get.

[C]

The new iPhone 17 Pro on them.

[B]

It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[A]

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best.

[B]

Nice. Jeffrey, you heard them.

[A]

T mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for lunch?

[B]

Dude, my work here is done.

[A]

The 24 month bill credit is on experience beyond for well qualified customers. Plus tax and $35 device connection charge. Credits ended, balance due if you pay off earlier, Cancel Finance Agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 A new line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Oaklove Speed Test Intelligence Data 1H 2025 Visit T mobile.com hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[B]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[A]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[B]

Occasionally, we change the names of some.

[A]

Streets and that's all you need to know to support the show and unlock the ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room. Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[B]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood.

[D]

Listen.

[A]

Knock knock.

[C]

Who's there?

[A]

Your neighbor.

[B]

Good indignity fall. You're never alone. You've got the NeighborHALP app and us burn and jode. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[A]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[B]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen.

[A]

Welcome once more to the Neighborhood Listen. The podcast that takes a look at the Neighborhood of Dignity falls through the eyes of its residents, including your humble hosts. Sorry, what is that noise?

[C]

Do you hear that?

[B]

It's. Well, we're recording outside today. Well, just me and Bernd are recording outside. Doug is of course in a different room. We haven't introduced anyone yet, but that is the sound of what ends up happening, is we end up having a lot of our larger vehicles break down and we've had to sort of do hybrids. So we're Sorry, your personal larger vehicle. No, no, no. Our. As a dignity Falls town. And so we've had to. The firefighters are having to take the kids to school this morning because all the school buses have just kaput. We don't know why. It's almost like they all were brought down at the same exact time. None of them were starting at the beginning of the week. So the firefighters were like, we'll take them. And so the kids are loving it.

[A]

We'll take them.

[B]

Yeah, just take them to school, pick them up.

[A]

Oh, I thought they were taking the non starting vehicles.

[B]

No, they're not.

[A]

We'll take them. They're just gonna convert everything into a.

[B]

Fire engine to school. Although I guess they could.

[A]

There's not a ton of room on fire engines is there for a class.

[B]

I know.

[C]

They're on top.

[B]

They're loving it. It's not. I don't know if it's faith, but I just figured, well, they're paramedics, so, you know, it should be okay.

[A]

They stick them in the. Between the rungs of the ladder.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

But they're having a great time. My worry is now, because we're going to have all just these, you know, these school bus carcasses everywhere that people are going to try to re renovate them and it's an Instagram thing. Do you know what I mean? No, I haven't gotten there yet. I haven't gotten there yet. I know that that's already angering you, but what I don't like, I'm not. Well, you said it sounds terrible.

[A]

That doesn't mean I'm angry about it. It's more of just a shame.

[B]

Okay, fair enough.

[A]

I watch somebody's ice cream fall on the ground. I'm not enraged.

[B]

Oh, I am. Oh, I hate that. You should have taken better care of your ice cream.

[A]

That was a terrible example. That was a terrible example. I forgot who I was talking to.

[B]

But, you know, there's a lot of these Instagram posts where it's like life in the bus, you know, and it's these people, so many who convert a bus. Well, for whatever reason, the algorithm is giving them all to me. And I don't. Maybe because I'm a realtor. And so now. And I have explained that we're having find alternate places to live. Any living space. That's right. I mean, I've shown a large dog house. I think we've talked about this.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Where there's. There's no property. There is no property. So I think everyone's going to start converting these school buses into homes. Maybe homes that don't even move. You know what I mean? But I just don't think it's reasonable. What I'm saying is, if they can't get the engine running. Yes, but the whole point of these Instagram posts is that they're on the road all the time, right?

[A]

Oh, that's part of it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They get. They ended up being profiling a true crime story. Yes, I understand.

[B]

What do you mean, a true. You mean that's either escaping because they're criminals.

[A]

There was a. No, I mean, there was. There was a very famous in the last few years, I believe, of, you know, hashtag vanlife. People who were just out on the road living in a van and.

[B]

Oh, got it.

[A]

And then one of them wasn't doing that anymore.

[B]

What is that movie? The one Frances McDormand was in? Well, she lived in a van.

[A]

Oh, right. It won the Oscar. And nobody cares anymore.

[B]

Was that the one where she was like, I like to work. I like hard work. I love her.

[A]

We all watched it. We all thought we were doing something good. And then it just left our memories immediately.

[B]

What is the name of that?

[A]

No one knows.

[B]

This is not a movie podcast. But it always comes up. And a lot of times I don't have my facts straight when it comes to movies.

[A]

It might as well have been called do you want to see Frances McDormand shit in a coffee can? You the year of luck. What was that movie?

[B]

Coffee Can. It wasn't a coffee can.

[A]

What was it? Was it a receptacle or just on the ground?

[B]

What you come up with is transparent, and that's not it. And then I think Transamerica. That's not it. That's the one. The Felicity Huffman one for.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then she worked for an Amazon company. So then that was another weird thing. Cause it was like all branded through Amazon or whatever. But I still can't come up with it.

[A]

Was it open Rodent?

[B]

Oh, that's not it.

[A]

Was it called A hobo's Tale?

[B]

No. There were some lovely things I appreciated about that movie. Oh, Nomadland. That's what it was. It just came to me.

[A]

Of course. Nomadland. I don't like that title. Now that I'm thinking about it. Now that I'm really thinking about it.

[B]

Are you raid now? Are you angry? Are you angry now?

[A]

Yeah, it might be Nomad Land. Because, you see, nomads don't have a land.

[B]

Yes, yes. That's the idea. I do.

[A]

Do you get it?

[B]

I do. I think I do. Now I'm questioning it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I am Joan Pedestrian. I am the top realtor here. I will try to sell you any space that you could live in. And I'm also a local actress. I don't wanna say the local actress. There's a couple other ladies out there.

[A]

I think of you as the local actress.

[B]

I do appreciate that. I appreciate that.

[A]

Carol Dragonslayer doesn't have a pat on you.

[B]

Well, thank you. A patch on me. What does that exactly mean?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You were just hoping I didn't follow up.

[A]

I hear that on British television a lot.

[B]

Is that a British thing?

[A]

Yeah, I think so. I think it's an English thing.

[B]

There's clearly a theme already for Season Klein. Are we. Are we saying. In my mind it's Kevin Klein, that I don't know what Klein is thinking of?

[A]

Yeah, I'm imagining Kevin Klein as well.

[B]

Season Klein is really already taking on a very British theme. We've already got. We've been talking about Downton Abbey a lot. We. Robert, I think Elizabeth McGovern is going to take. Is going to show up every episode. O'. Brien. Why'd you make me slip on the soap? Don't you remember that storyline we were just talking about o'. Brien. You had the hots for her.

[A]

Oh. Oh. When you said o'. Brien. Oh, I thought it was O comma Brian. And I thought, who's Brian?

[B]

No, no, because she begins everything with, oh, no one named Brian in Downton Abbey. No, that's true. Yeah. No, o'. Brien. Remember that whole thing?

[A]

And she. She rigged up some soap.

[B]

Quite terrible. She was pregnant and she didn't want her to have the baby. I don't remember why. So she put soap on the floor and they didn't show what happened. But we know that she put that wet soap on the floor and left it for Mum. Ticket out of the bath.

[A]

Joan. I'm going to say that I forgot that completely. You did.

[B]

How could you not?

[A]

It was a terrible, disturbing. Yes.

[B]

And last episode you talked about how you liked her. Well, you found her a very attractive. You must have forgotten that part.

[A]

You said because she was evil that she wasn't allowed to have makeup on her.

[B]

That's how evil she is.

[A]

She's got great bone structure.

[B]

That's how evil she is.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The two of them, her and Jonathan, go smoke in the alleyway and just talk about what horrible.

[A]

Do you have a weird hand? Something happened with his hand. He Had a weird bandage on his hand. Then there was that other guy that Lady Edith had a thing with. And he had just a black like light sling around his arm that he just kind of rested his hand in.

[B]

Is that who. I missed it.

[A]

Lady Edith was going out with this guy.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, the people, they always had her date. And then, you know, we haven't talked about an accent. That's one of my favorites. Which is the one who is her name? Joanna, the maid who goes, Mr. Bitch. Do you remember Mr. Bets, Mr. Betts?

[A]

And then they got married, didn't they?

[B]

They sure did. But boy, did they have a lot to. They had the most to go through. They really went through a lot.

[A]

They truly did.

[B]

We're just gonna have to do a side podcast about Downton Happy. This is too much. We haven't even gotten Robert. We haven't even started yet. We're in the first section of the podcast.

[A]

What should it be? Should it be we do a recap? There's so many of this show that everyone's already seen.

[B]

There's no time in this life for that.

[A]

Should we watch one the movies together?

[B]

Oh, we could do that. Yes, we could do that. Because I have a. I've only seen the first, I believe. I don't think I've seen the. You have to see the second that last time. It's about Hollywood coming to downtown. I mean, Mr. Mosley saying, I've always got it.

[A]

I've always considered Hollywood the ultimate dream factory.

[B]

Oh dear.

[A]

This is a butler.

[B]

I think it's been a while since it was referred to as the dream factory.

[A]

Yeah, the 19. 1920s is when people were saying that the most in England in the service classes. But yeah, we should. You know what? We should all of them not. Not like in a row.

[B]

You know, we could do it on the bottom floor of my house. We could do it in my kitchen and it could be about. It could be. Nevermind. I was trying to call it Downstairs. Downstairs, but I couldn't make it work. Anyways, that's just a working title. That's a working title.

[A]

My name is Burnt Me Apede.

[B]

Yeah, you.

[A]

Did you say your name.

[B]

You had it. Okay.

[A]

I am the pharmacist in chief.

[B]

Joan, you're really. I'. Cheeky.

[A]

You're needling me.

[B]

I'm cheeky. Am I needling you?

[A]

You're needling you.

[B]

Okay, I'm sorry for needling you. I'm sorry for needling you. We need to be stopped. We can't stop. Help.

[A]

Do you Think she has fun talking like that?

[B]

I think she has so much fun.

[A]

She must have so much fun.

[B]

I tell what's better than. Again, like I said, being the only American getting to live in London for years and talk like that. It's the best. And just drape herself on furniture. She's always draped. Yes, I love being draped.

[A]

My name is Bert Mihopede. I'm the pharmacist in chief of the Dignity Fallsmassy state of the art pharmacy right here in Dignity Falls. And we are also joined by Joan's husband, Doug, who is our engineer. Doug, where are you today?

[D]

Are we done with the doubt now?

[B]

I know, babe. I'm so sorry. I think he was just closing his eyes, waiting for us to stop talking.

[A]

You have your things that you like.

[D]

Name one.

[B]

Sneezing.

[A]

You love sneezing.

[B]

You love sneezing. You recently said it was one of your favorite pastimes.

[D]

I trapped you into saying sneezing.

[A]

You doubt?

[D]

Cause I knew you would say it.

[A]

Shamal.

[B]

You did. Wow.

[D]

That was a test.

[A]

Did we pass or fail? Oh, yeah.

[D]

Flying colors. I'm in. I'm actually in the yard around the house.

[B]

You're in the yard? You mean in the front yard? You're in the front of the house?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And I'm working on rattan world.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

And what does that entail? Because I know what I think it does.

[B]

Me too.

[D]

You know this material, rattan?

[B]

Yeah, it's like the wicker. Right? You know this material rattan?

[A]

Yes, I do.

[D]

Intricately.

[A]

And when I say, welcome to our planet.

[D]

Beautifully woven furniture material.

[B]

Right. Like outdoor patio. How is it different than wicker?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What's the difference?

[D]

Oh, I think wicker.

[B]

That wasn't meant to be a got.

[D]

I think all rattan is wicker. Not all wicker is rattan.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Sounds like it could be true, but.

[B]

Also felt like it could be philosophical questions. Okay, so rattan, I feel like, is rattan. Rattan feels like it's cheaper.

[C]

No.

[B]

I don't know. When I see wicker, it looks like someone really did a job on that.

[D]

So I'm building.

[A]

Good job on that.

[B]

Like, it looks like it took a handcraft. You know what I mean? It really looks like it took a lot of handiwork.

[A]

Maybe it's because the name sounds fancier, but I feel like rattan is the fancier one.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Rattan.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Because they.

[B]

Is that why you like it, babe? Because it's fun to say that it's fun to roll your r's if it.

[A]

Were easier to do, it would have been a rattan man instead of a wicker man.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

So there's going to be all sorts of stuff out here, not just. Just lounge sets, but like a playground and a playground.

[B]

I'm sorry, who do you see? A playground and a slide, Just so you know. And who do you imagine is going to be on our property playing on this playground?

[D]

Well, I mean, the boys, of course they do. They still love it. They still love it.

[B]

Here's my fear. Here's my fear. First of all, we need to encourage the boys to start looking for work again, getting out of the house. Second of all, doesn't rattan seem very flammable to you? They will set it on fire.

[A]

Would you like to know the difference?

[B]

I would love to.

[A]

And yes, they will set it on fire.

[B]

Yes, they.

[A]

Rattan is a material derived from a wood like vine that is commonly found in the tropical regions of Asia, Africa and Australia.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

There are more than 600 different species of rattan.

[D]

That's right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then wicker.

[B]

Doug said. That's right. Like he'd done all this research already. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. It's incredible.

[A]

While many. You know what?

[B]

It is really effective when someone says mean to go. That's right. It really kind of makes you sound like, no, you already knew that. And I'm.

[A]

They were waiting for you to get to the.

[B]

What you're saying.

[A]

Yes. I knew you'd get there.

[B]

I knew you'd get there.

[A]

While many people believe that wicker is a different kind of furniture material, it actually refers to a style of weave that's been used for thousands of years.

[B]

See, that's the. But that's hand weaving. Right. That's why it takes more to put it together.

[A]

Yes. Particular technique. It takes strong and durable rattan and weaves them. Weaves them into the alluring furniture. Whenever I see wicker furniture, a feeling comes over me.

[D]

So I think I was.

[A]

I have to know more.

[B]

Taylor Swift song wood is about.

[D]

I think I was right then that rattan could be wicker.

[A]

Can you remember what you originally said?

[D]

Now that could have been what I said.

[A]

All wickers, rattan. Not all rattan is wicker.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Let's say you said that.

[D]

Let's say that.

[A]

You're right, though.

[C]

Let's say it.

[B]

Oh, good for you, babe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So back to my question.

[D]

I've enlisted the help of some old ladies around town.

[B]

I'm sorry, what?

[C]

Why?

[D]

To help me weave this stuff.

[B]

But I thought that it Was only wicker that needs to be weaved. It's only wicker that needs to be weaved. That's a good one.

[A]

It's only wicker that needs to be.

[B]

I love a new tongue twister. Wicker that needs to be weaved. Oh, wicker that needs to be weaved. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[A]

How many species are you?

[B]

So why would you ask old ladies? Come on, hon. What's going on?

[A]

Come on, Doug.

[D]

Because I saw them knitting, right? And I think that could translate pretty well into this vision.

[B]

Are they there right now? Are they just sitting and weaving right now?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You're gonna ask them to.

[D]

Well, they're napping right now.

[B]

On what? Did you bring furniture out?

[D]

There's a nice, beautiful rug.

[B]

Rug.

[A]

Just sleeping on a rug.

[B]

This is insane to me. First of all, you put this in a rug in our garage.

[D]

They should be proud of them.

[B]

We're gaining too many employees in this house. This is a problem. Second of all, where is there room for this? Because you famously, in a few episodes. Well, last year paved over half most of the of our house to make a parking lot that has only three spots for overflow. From the games. From the baseball game.

[D]

That didn't work.

[B]

So now where. So now. Are you breaking through that? The concrete? We're not doing that anymore.

[D]

I put sod over the concrete. So now there's grass again.

[B]

Is there? Is that what you do? I didn't know you could do that.

[A]

I don't. Well, I don't think it's permanent. I think you can lay sod over parking lot, but it's not going to continue to live.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

All right, I've read.

[B]

Sorry, I forgot what sod was.

[D]

That if you left a city or a township, whatever, for five years, it would be overgrown, like in the Last of Us.

[B]

Okay, what does that have?

[D]

You turned off the plumbing and the sewage system and everything, and you just abandoned the place. You'd be shocked about how overgrown it is with foliage.

[A]

I feel like if you're doing that, you're not going to be shocked by anything. If you're at the point where you're saying, let's just shut it down and leave it alone.

[B]

You come back, I agree with him.

[A]

What is going on in the world? And then you come back like, huh, I didn't really mean to make it.

[D]

About the shock so much. It's just the.

[B]

Well, then, are you. Why are you bringing it up in this case? You want it? Oh, no, There's a lot going on I don't.

[A]

I don't want to needle you. I'm sorry.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[D]

I get enough needling.

[A]

Sounded so pathetic. I get enough needling.

[B]

I get enough needling. Well, okay, fine. If they're. If the ladies seem that they're okay, fine. Just make sure that, like, I don't know, that they're fed and that they're hydrated. Don't let the boys.

[A]

They're adults. Fed in hygiene.

[B]

Well, I don't know.

[A]

They're volunteering to help this. Him out with this.

[B]

Okay, fine.

[D]

They're very sweet.

[B]

You're not concerned about these ladies, so I guess I won't be out.

[A]

I give them. I give them credit for having agency over their own lives.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Well, now I feel like the bad guy.

[D]

They have their, like, Violet club.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

What's that, Doug?

[D]

Where they all talk about violets in the color violet? You haven't seen them out in the park?

[A]

Do they talk about the Peanuts character? Violet?

[D]

That's probably one of the topics.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

Allowed topics. Yeah. They love Peanuts.

[B]

They love Peanuts. The comic strip.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I can't speak to their flavor profiles.

[B]

Does anyone read comic strips anymore? I just really don't think they do. Do they even exist? I haven't even checked the paper lately.

[A]

The kids must do.

[B]

They give me a break.

[D]

The boys show me.

[B]

They're all watching screens.

[D]

The boys show. Even Jalapey. She sends me some pretty racy comic strips.

[B]

She's down in Australia. Australia has really racy comic strips.

[A]

Yeah. They curse in them.

[B]

They depict sexual acts. It's very crazy.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They call them Mimi's.

[A]

Mimi's?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that correct?

[A]

Like, spelled like meme?

[D]

Is that how you say it?

[B]

Oh, babe. Wow. Okay.

[A]

Who. Who calls the memes, doctor?

[B]

I think just you, babe.

[D]

I've just read it.

[A]

Oh, you've never heard.

[B]

That's how you read it.

[A]

That's what we call passive vocabulary.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Which is, you know what a word is, you know what it means, but you don't. You've never used it out loud, so you don't know what it sounds like.

[D]

Like I said lawyer for a long time.

[A]

Lawyer.

[D]

Which makes sense, really? Well, because the. You know, law.

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

All you're doing is putting an ER at the end.

[A]

No, there's a one.

[D]

There's no word. Sure. That's not the point.

[A]

Thank you for granting my premise.

[B]

You're talking about the diphthong that happens in the middle. Sorry about that word. I'm sorry. To throw that at you, babe. I know that's going to mess you up. I'm sorry. What's happening? What is happening?

[D]

Are you doing a little Cisco Ong song? Yeah.

[B]

Oh, no, we were working on that.

[A]

Let me dip that thong.

[B]

That was the original. The lyric, but they thought that's too clunky.

[A]

Rhubarb Caravan. You were doing a cover of that?

[D]

We were, yeah. We were working on that.

[B]

Jug's dad Band.

[D]

It made us laugh. But Rhubarb Caravan, so hard to sing.

[B]

Sure, dip songs are hard to sing, so just don't want the boys working on it. Will you please take them off of this project? Because talking, of course, about my twin boys, Matt and Screaming J. And Screaming J. They just don't need any more temptation, okay? I'm already trying to get them out of their improv group. Still flammable materials, you know what they've been really interested in is they just recently discovered the Blue Man Group, which is no longer.

[D]

No.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry to tell you, babe. I'm sorry to break the news to you. Doug loves.

[A]

You're saying Blue Man Group is not happening anywhere in the world right now?

[B]

Well, maybe somewhere in the world, but they shut down in New York, famously, just over the last year, and I don't think they're in Chicago anymore. Maybe they're in a country somewhere, but they're not Vegas. No, I don't even think Las Vegas. Maybe I'll look it up.

[D]

Was it a Gwen Stefani situation?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Was it?

[B]

I wish I knew what that was.

[D]

Or one of them just got so much more attention and went solo.

[B]

Are you talking about her and Gavin? Oh, no. You're talking about her and her band career.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, no doubt.

[D]

Needling me.

[B]

I don't even remember we were talking about. Anyways, I truly don't remember what I was gonna look up. It doesn't matter.

[A]

They famously shut down in New York.

[B]

Apparently not. Apparently it wasn't so famous. Only famous to me. All right, so let's see.

[A]

How are you searching for. This is Blue Man Group no more.

[B]

I'm just putting it. But okay. They are still in Vegas. Okay, There you go. Well, we didn't know. Okay, so maybe it was not. Anyway, for whatever reason, for don't needle me. I haven't been needled yet. I'm waiting for the moment. I will call it out.

[A]

When the podcast has ended, I will call it, you shall be needled. That's my prophecy.

[B]

Yeah. They're in. They saw the Blue man group. They thought that was amazing. And so that's what they want to start. They want to. They want to start their own version here.

[A]

With just the two of them.

[B]

With just the two of them. And so they've been just taking all the junk out of the junk drawers and trying to staple them together and make. Make instruments, you know, from anything they find. And what's your face?

[A]

Well, okay, now, I've never seen an entire Blue Man Group show.

[B]

Oh, you haven't? Oh, they are a lot of fun from.

[A]

I. All I knew about them was of course blue, but then I thought they were big on drums. Do they have other instruments?

[B]

Yes, they have these tubes.

[A]

Oh, no, not tubes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I'm out. I don't want to see guys painted blue using tubes.

[B]

Well, they're not gonna be blue. I mean, of course, as you can imagine, these are my boys. They're gonna call it the Pooh Man Group.

[A]

Oh no.

[D]

You've never heard tubes played like this. Burn.

[B]

It's beautiful and it's very. It's plumbing. It's. It's plumbing centric, obviously. Right. So they're whole joke is that they're plumbers and that they're. Cause they're. So they're gonna really focus on the pipes, but they also want to be like, oh, whatever they pull out of the pipes, they make music with, you know, so what. What's your face?

[A]

I'm following you. Okay, I'm listening. If I have a certain look on my face because I don't think this is a good idea.

[B]

Oh, well, I mean, it's the kids, it's the boys. Of course it's not a good idea. But like I said, I'm just happy if they're working on something new and I'm happy if I'm happy that they're alive. But it's a lot of tubes and it kind of makes like a sound. It's very satisfying. And they line up these tubes, you know, and then they take other tubes and they use tubes to hit the other tubes. It's a lot of tubes.

[A]

Now when you say tubes, you mean pipes?

[B]

Yeah, kind of. But like, you know, PVC pipes. But like, you know, not like a metal pipes or. Or lead pipes, of course. Or even copper pipes like it is.

[A]

If you buy a lead pipe, you're going to listen.

[B]

Do you?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Probably can fly.

[D]

I have a lot of leftover pneumatic tubes too.

[B]

Oh, for.

[A]

You trying to build that bank?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You tried to build that old fashioned bank?

[D]

Yeah. The messaging system for the house.

[B]

He absolutely loved that thing. You know, nothing more satisfying than putting something in and shooting it up. Did the CVS that you worked at ever do that? Did you guys have that? Because they do that at pharmacies sometimes.

[A]

We were one of the last pharmacies in the area to have the pneumatic tubes.

[B]

You were.

[D]

Took that away from us.

[B]

Why? What happened? Did something happen? Was there an incident?

[A]

Somebody tried to ride in it.

[B]

I figured it was a real Augustus Gloop situation.

[A]

And, I mean, it wasn't that big. It wasn't that wide in diameter.

[B]

How far does that try get? I mean, truly, those are small.

[A]

Well, he got his head stuck in there.

[D]

How skinny guy.

[A]

He's a skinny guy. He did it so gradually, he. So gradually he coated his head in butter. Oh, boy. Just like smear butter all over his head. And then he salted. He very. You know what? I forgot to ask.

[B]

Doug's hungry.

[A]

He very slowly pressed his head against the opening and just kind of did that all day long. And, you know, we're obviously not watching him the whole time. And so you would turn around like, oh, my God, the crown of his head is in there.

[B]

The opposite of crowning.

[D]

Take patience.

[A]

He got up to the bridge of his nose, and then that was it.

[B]

Good Lord. And they're like, someone else is going to try this. We got to shut this down.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Because he clearly. He got so close. Someone's going to try it.

[A]

And the way they try to use the Jaws of Life, it was very delicate. And the way that they got him out was they just had to saw the tube above his head, and then he had the tube on his head for quite a while.

[B]

So then were you guys still trying to use this when you didn't notice at first, or were, like, pills lining up on top of his head? Was there a backup?

[A]

There was some of that, yes. And when. When they. When they saw it through it, the noise of the pills hitting the ground.

[C]

Oh, boy.

[A]

I bet it was exciting.

[B]

Oh, exciting. That's not the word I expected.

[D]

Avalanche. Yeah. People.

[A]

People. And then afterwards, of course, you know, everyone wanted him to wait on them because they just wanted to see his head smushed in there. And so I would be at the window and I would say, picking up or dropping off, and they would say, send the other guy over.

[B]

Well, it sounds like it's a good idea to get rid of it.

[D]

Did he ever explain what he was trying to do or why he did that?

[A]

I. I think we knew what he was trying to Do.

[B]

Because it was there, Doug. Because it was there.

[A]

Yes. He was saying it as a joke for the longest time, and then when he actually started doing it, we were all just sort of.

[B]

Did you see? He was famously saying he was going to try it. Is that what you said?

[A]

I don't think that I did.

[B]

Oh, okay. Did I? Well, we. I know. I'm. I'm. I'm guilty of saying that a lot, because then you mentioned. And I think, oh, I guess maybe not everything's famously. But in this town, it's so small, a lot of things get around.

[A]

That's very true.

[D]

God, every single chili cheese dog is famous here. They always say. The world famous.

[A]

Yeah. Every single.

[D]

No one.

[B]

You can't do that. You can't do that. And we're not even known for chili cheese dogs here.

[A]

It.

[B]

They don't even make them.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

There's a law here.

[D]

Oh, no, there's no laws to say you can't say it's world famous.

[B]

Oh, right.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That's one of the things we have here.

[A]

There was one place, I think it was Eddie's dog in chili, and he. And it's called that because first he puts the chili on, then he puts the dog on. He took one of his chili dogs to Iceland so that he could claim it was world famous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He couldn't get the chili through security. He had to put in his checked luggage.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

And you have to make the dog here before you go to Iceland.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Otherwise it doesn't count.

[A]

Yeah. They won't let you in if it's not cooked already.

[B]

Everyone knows that about Iceland. They will not let you bring in an uncooked chili.

[A]

You can't bring an apple in there. You know what I mean? You can't just bring produce.

[B]

Boy, I'd love to go to Iceland. Everyone talks about Iceland. Iceland, Iceland. Everyone goes. And they say it's fabulous. And they're standing on a black rock and they're like, it's life changing and it looks amazing. Sure, babe. Is that the only thing you know about Iceland?

[D]

No.

[A]

I mean. Okay, I think that's a little.

[B]

Some other things you know about Iceland.

[A]

Jeez, give us two more things.

[D]

I mean, it's an interesting place.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

There's color. Lots of colors.

[B]

You prove me wrong. I stand corrected. I stand corrected.

[D]

No, there's, like, the water with the colors in it.

[B]

You mean that. You mean that the. The northern lights in the sky.

[D]

Those are colors.

[B]

Those are colors.

[D]

Okay. No, but there's a. You know, water pits.

[A]

Water pits.

[C]

Water pits, whatever they call geysers.

[D]

Geysers?

[A]

Hot springs. Hot springs.

[D]

Hot springs.

[A]

They're not known for their color.

[B]

Are you talking about like algae in the water, like when it glows?

[A]

Bioluminescence?

[D]

Yeah, something like that.

[A]

Okay, I've never heard that about Iceland.

[B]

Okay, well, you know what made themorphax and Bjork. And Bjork much time. How long have we been talking, babe?

[D]

Why do you always need to know this?

[B]

Oh my gosh. Because it's a very normal thing to ask. We want to make sure that we haven't going to. Did you not know? Did you think that wasn't into your microphone? Cuz we heard that, babe. How often is he saying that to.

[A]

Himself under his breath?

[B]

I think that was an under his breath moment. I think that was a hot mic moment, babe.

[D]

I think that was to myself.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Oh, I see.

[B]

You were needling yourself.

[D]

Yeah, I'm not angry.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

28.

[A]

Oh yeah, that's definitely perfect. Time to start for sure. We'll be right back with the neighbor listen. When the Neighbor Listen returns.

[B]

Mr. Monopoly here Monopoly is back at McDonald's register in the McDonald's app. So you're ready to two ways to pull for a chance to get your bag. Physical peels with select items and digital peels with others.

[A]

To get your bag play Monopoly at McDonald's.

[B]

Ba da ba ba ba.

[A]

No purchase necessary. C rolls at [e-mail] for full details and [e-mail] to play without purchase ends November 23rd, but bonus plans November 2nd. Monopoly is a registered trademark of Hasbro. Copyright McDonald's.

[B]

Hey, it's Jay. I have a vintage 50 kilo Columbia Mara. When the bag four eighty dollars. It is. I don't know. It's like it looks like a sandbag. It says marijuana 50 hilos Colombia. It's in excellent condition.

[A]

Welcome back to the.

[B]

Oh, Joan. Sorry. What are you tell me. I was telling. I was telling. I was. I was telling mat he only has 10 minutes before he has to start his chores.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

And what I had to give him chores because you know, they don't. They're. They don't have a job right now.

[A]

Right. And these chores are time sensitive.

[B]

Well, yeah. You know, and they're also easy. It's like flush. You know what I mean?

[A]

Like all the toilets.

[B]

Yeah. Any. They use them all. They make sure of it.

[A]

Sure. Always not.

[B]

What?

[A]

Not. All right. We do have a guest, Joan. As we always do. What we do is folks, we scour The Neighbor app, the social networking application for neighborhoods. And we look for interesting people to talk to. And if you have a post that you've seen, you think might be good for the show, why don't you screenshot it from the Neighbor app and send it to [e-mail] as this listener did. Andrea Goodman sent us this post and I'm glad that they did. And this post comes to us from Scott. It is in the general section. Scott says, I would just like everyone to know that my month long ban has been appealed and I will continue posting my thoughts and questions. I am an important contributor to this neighborhap community and I really just want to help people. If you have any questions or concerns, please comment below. And here to shed some light on this, I hope, is Scott. Scott, welcome to the neighborhood. Listen.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

Hi. Thanks for having me. Hi. Well, I guess the first thing to say would be, why are you coming back? Why did you leave in the first place? Right. A month long.

[A]

Why were you banned?

[B]

Why were you banned?

[C]

Didn't leave. Leaving makes it sound like it was my choice.

[B]

Sorry, you're right. I forgot about the ban part. Okay. Why were you banned?

[C]

You know, I just feel like it's the shadow government maybe looking and seeing that, you know, I'm on the neighborhood app. I'm helping people. I'm answering questions, I'm speaking truth to power.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Okay. And what did the shadow government think you were doing?

[C]

Speaking truth to truth to power. But I guess she answering gotcha there is helping people. They don't want people to be helped.

[A]

Right.

[C]

They don't want us to be in control of our own, the fixing of our own problems, the helping of our neighbors. They want the government to come in and do all the work.

[A]

Okay, and what was the help that you were providing that the community.

[B]

I would love to know that.

[C]

Answering questions.

[B]

Okay, well, could you provide. What was the question?

[C]

Well, I've only said one thing, Joan.

[B]

Oh, dear.

[C]

My goodness.

[A]

We're here to help you get your side of the story.

[C]

I'm also here to help. I'm also here to help.

[B]

And that's the thing that no one.

[C]

Seems to understand is that when you go on an app like this, you are spending your time, your energy. You know, time is money, time is energy. Time is your life. Your life force is put into helping people, to answering questions, asking questions. I help my neighbors. I fostered a kitten that someone found in the road, for example.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

For example.

[B]

Thank you for that example. I'm not trying to needle you.

[C]

Let people know when the Trader Joe's tote bags are gonna be on sale so that everyone knows when.

[A]

Second time they've come up on the.

[B]

Really? Is it really?

[D]

Oh boy.

[B]

Well, I can't stop me. As we famously have. You know, I imagine you're talking nationally. But of course, dignity. Famously has dignity. See, I did it again. Only we have a Trader Joe, not a Trader Joe's. They left the S off. But the bags are huge. They are gigant. The ones we have are.

[C]

And you know, they're made. They're not even made here. They're not even made locally.

[B]

Not surprised.

[C]

That's the kind of power I'm speaking truth to. I'm letting people know those jobs have been taken out of Dignity Falls and sent over the river and through the woods. And through the woods. But not to Grandmother's house. No, no.

[B]

Cuz Grandma's working on the rattan out front.

[D]

They need work.

[C]

You know that. Not all wicker is rattan.

[B]

Is that it? Is that right? Oh, we've been. This was a question just now. Oh, thank you for helping us. Yes, it was. I. Yes, we're trying to get to the bottom of it.

[C]

My grandmother had a wicker room.

[A]

I'm sorry to tell you, but all wicker is rattan.

[B]

Oh, dear.

[C]

Well, wicker can be made out of many different woods.

[B]

Oh, you know what? I don't want to litigate rattan.

[C]

It's just the wood that can be wickered.

[A]

Rattan.

[C]

Rattan could be wickered or it could be carved or it could be softened.

[D]

That's right.

[B]

Softened.

[D]

It could be softened.

[C]

This is the kind of thing. Do you see? I can see that this truth that I've told you has made you uncomfortable. And rather. And most people, rather than sitting in the discomfort of having a woman, tell them the truth.

[B]

I mean, I'm a woman and you're saying this.

[C]

I'm looking at you, Joan. I was speaking to Bernd. You don't seem uncomfortable at all. You seem quite attracted to me, actually.

[A]

Joan is a woman. W o m nan and man. I feel like a woman.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Good job, Bert.

[C]

Tell that to Brad Pitt.

[A]

That don't impress me much.

[B]

Now hang on a second. Can I go back to just simple things like you answering people's questions? Can you give an example of that? What's a question? That you answered a question and they.

[A]

Said we have to ban this person.

[B]

Yeah. The reason why I'm asking, because I'm thinking. Well, that seems pretty Harmless. Right, but what did you answer?

[C]

Someone posted a photo of two dress options that they wanted to wear to a gala.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I said. And I said. I said, neither looks good on your body. And I went into detail about what shape and material and colors I thought would look good. I thought this was someone who wanted an open and honest opinion, and instead, they wanted someone to blow something sunshine up their ass and say, oh, they both look good. Can I say ass?

[B]

Oh, yes, you can say ass. You can. I get in trouble if I swear in the podcast he's not here right now. You'll hear his voice. His name is Doug. You can say, hi, Doug.

[C]

I saw him when I parked.

[B]

Of course you did. That was my husband.

[C]

Really beautiful. Sawed over concrete work. You know, in five years, that will become real grass.

[B]

Don't question her. Don't question her.

[D]

She's the bright one.

[C]

You can question me. Just don't stop me from saying my truths.

[A]

We won't.

[C]

But speaking.

[A]

Speaking of truths, when you say that, this person probably wanted just to hear, oh, both dresses are great.

[C]

Or, you know, well, one of these dresses is great. I guess they wanted to hear. But they weren't burnt. They were both atrocious.

[B]

Okay, sure, but how is that a mermaid style?

[C]

Oh, Joan. A mermaid style to adult.

[B]

I understand the mermaid style is tricky. Well, this isn't a prom.

[C]

This isn't a wedding.

[B]

This is a gala. It depends on which gala you're talking.

[C]

The Met Gala. Because we have a. Oh, it was the Met Gala.

[A]

Someone from Dignity Falls was going to the Met Gala?

[C]

Well, it was the. You know, the Metropolitan Museum of St. Louis.

[B]

Oh, that's right. That's the less famous one. Just.

[C]

Although they were first. It was first. Yeah.

[A]

They were first.

[C]

Lewis and Clark, of course.

[B]

Lewis and Clark was founded by Lewis and Clark.

[C]

The first thing they did before they went west was open a museum. Cause they knew they were going to find many, many treasures and art to put in that museum. Although, famously, you know that Meriwether Lewis killed himself over all the guilt that he felt. And I posted about that on WhatsApp because I felt like people. People have glorified the Western expansion. And really, even the. Even the men responsible for it knew that they had committed atrocities not unlike the woman in the mermaid dress. An atrocity.

[B]

Okay, now that is going too far. That is going too far. She did not know it.

[C]

Oh. Would you like to ban me, Joan?

[B]

I don't. I am having you on my podcast. We are giving you a platform.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

We are Just what we do here on this platform, just so you know, is we ask questions because we are trying to either help you amplify your message. We're doing the same thing as we're trying to.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

That's what we do as well.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

How is telling someone they're an atrocity because they don't look good in either dress amplifying a mess?

[C]

They asked which dress and I said neither. So I mean, how is that a bannable? It's just the truth.

[A]

I think because of the way you went on, it might be construed as perhaps rude.

[C]

I mean there's no rule against rudeness.

[B]

Listen, I'm with you there. That one example maybe is not enough. That's why I'm wondering if you're selectively choosing things. I mean, do you remember the last thing you did before you were banned? What was the last post you made?

[C]

Well, yes, I mean I posted an entire post about how I felt like most, if not all of the shop owners in town should close shutter their shops and close their doors because the way that they are running their shops is reprehensible.

[B]

Did you give a reason? I mean, did you give the what the reprehensible.

[A]

Any examples?

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Sorry. An example. Sorry. Thank you.

[C]

Overcharging. Overcharging prices, long lines, tote bag.

[A]

I'm so sorry, Scott. What's that, Doug?

[B]

He called a such as on this podcast. Sometimes we need it.

[A]

We gotta call it such as.

[B]

We say calling it a such as. Thanks, babe.

[D]

Got it.

[B]

Go ahead.

[C]

You mean what I was doing?

[B]

Yeah. So such you continue doing what I was doing. Continue what you were doing.

[D]

Yes, I wanted to translate it for some of the locals.

[C]

Thank you for mansplaining for the people. Oh no, at home. No, that what I.

[B]

What I was doing wrong.

[C]

As I expressed myself, my privilege.

[B]

I just call it Doug splaining. Oh, babe, I don't.

[C]

That.

[B]

I don't think we wanted to throw that around here with our guest. This doesn't seem like a good trying to be polite.

[A]

You're trying to get banned.

[B]

Did you mean to say it's my pleasure?

[C]

Well, for example. Just for example.

[B]

And.

[C]

And there the local pharmacy in town, for example.

[B]

Oh. Oh, which one do you mean?

[A]

Well, there's a few. Is there one in particular?

[C]

Every one of them really has the same over overpriced. Too many people working but not enough people helping. For example, why is the deodorant locked behind glass?

[B]

Oh well.

[C]

And where is the person to come and Unlock it for you. Just as a small example, why are we policing deodorant and razors? And every store has an example of something where my rights as a consumer are being infringed upon by the just. Such as?

[B]

Such as the Iraq.

[D]

Now I understand.

[A]

And such like.

[C]

And there's not a single store, for example, you know that in almost every restaurant you can't use the restroom without buying something.

[B]

I mean, I feel like that's kind of fair. And buying something is a weird way to say ordering. But unless you're maybe purchasing some merch for that restaurant or something, it would.

[A]

Be interesting if you were looking at a manufacturer. I'd like to buy the Clams Casino.

[C]

Oh, I wasn't aware that you could order without buying after the or.

[A]

I'm so sorry, Scott. You've never heard of Clams Casino?

[B]

I have not. What is Clams Casino?

[C]

It's delightful.

[D]

It's a casino part of clams.

[C]

A creamy white wine sauce.

[A]

Yeah. You're gambling that you won't get sick.

[C]

It is very addicting.

[B]

Oh, my goodness. Very addicting to know this.

[D]

I will say, say the glass protecting the deodorant at the Falsemacy, there's a sign that says it's bulletproof glass. And I was always curious why we have the deodorant.

[A]

Okay. All of the.

[B]

Oh, so you think it's actually protecting, like, the safety of the deodorant?

[D]

Well, that's what I was a little confused.

[A]

All of the locked up items have a different theme. Oh, because they're supposed to be little prison cells.

[B]

Are they?

[A]

So the deodorant is supposed to be sort of Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal.

[B]

Lecture kind of thing.

[A]

And the ra. It's just straight up like bars, you know? And we had to put the deodorant behind glass because kids were eating it.

[B]

Oh, my.

[C]

What?

[A]

They cleaned out the Tidewater.

[C]

If you ask about these ones, this.

[B]

Delicious deodorant, they thought they were like push pops.

[C]

Then.

[B]

That is on.

[C]

That is on the parents. It is on the parents to keep their children in line.

[A]

That's true. I agree with that. But because the parents are not there, we do have to make sure the kids.

[C]

Perhaps you should have a no unaccompanied children rule rather than a deodorant behind walls rule.

[B]

What do they put the dental floss behind? Cause that can get through anything.

[C]

See, you see, and this is the.

[A]

Kind of thinking, like to saw through.

[C]

This is the kind of thinking, John, that would get you banned and slip.

[B]

Through if we're talking about how it's.

[C]

Gonna escape, this is the kind of thinking that would get you banned.

[B]

No, I'm not sure that that's it.

[C]

It is exactly that. Just that kind of thing. An innocuous truth or opinion or something like that. And they would say ban.

[A]

And the dental floss is in a sort of revolving triangle like the Phantom Zone.

[B]

It's like a magneto situation.

[A]

I do like how you like the Phantom Zone.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know what the Phantom Zone is. I realize from Superman ii. Okay, so. Okay. Oh, right, okay. I know that I. I forgot it was called that. Remember, I sometimes have blind spots in movies. Sometimes you only know three things from movies, you know, and so. And that's not a call out. That's not a call out.

[C]

I'm not sure it was ever really referred as such in the movie.

[A]

Oh, is that true?

[C]

Probably more in the comic.

[A]

Is that true?

[B]

I don't know. I might be siding with Scott on this.

[A]

Oh. Cause it supports you.

[B]

It does feel like you're. That's right, it does.

[C]

Joan, Feel like he's needling you, doesn't it? A little bit, yes.

[A]

Scott, you're trying to turn us against each other.

[B]

In all fairness, it's not gonna happen.

[C]

If you turn against each other, that is because you have deep seated reason to do so. It has nothing to do with me. I barely know the two of you.

[B]

Look, in all fairness, we did a watch along of Superman ii. And so it should be fresh in the mind. Although there was about a year and a two years ago. A year and a half. Two years ago.

[C]

You would make a great podcast listening to the two of you watch a movie together.

[A]

Well, it has happened. It has happened more times than we care to admit.

[B]

You'd probably be surprised.

[A]

But let me ask you this.

[B]

There might be other people that think the same thing.

[A]

I want to pull out a little bit. How do you believe the government is related to the neighborhap?

[B]

That's a great question.

[C]

Well, the government is. Is directly related to everything, for the most part.

[B]

Are you talking about our local government? Just to be clear, you know, our state. Are we talking about on a state level?

[C]

There really is just one government. And I know that they want you to think that there are different small factions of that one government, but it's all tied together. And technology, tech, bros, apps, AIs. It's all controlled by the government. The same way that, you know, common cars, spaceships, computers, spaceships got in there.

[B]

Can we Talk about that.

[C]

Every technology that's part of tech. The technology.

[B]

Okay, so just to be clear, you're someone who believes in, you know, a life on a different. A different planet, that spaceships exist, that they're a thing. Or were you just referring to, like, rocket ships?

[C]

Ships in spaceships. We.

[B]

Well, we don't call them spaceships, but maybe that's what she meant. That's why I was asking.

[C]

Well, any. And really, any. Any vessel or in space. So it could be a satellite, it could be a rover, a space station.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

But, you know, cars, trucks, buses, fire trucks. You know, for example. I don't know if you know this, but all the buses broke down just very recently. Falls. Yes. You can't tell me the government didn't have something to do with that.

[A]

I mean, that one was strange.

[B]

It was that they all went down at the same time.

[A]

I was afraid it was a maximum overdrive situation.

[B]

The.

[C]

Listen, I don't know if your movie knowledge, Joan, stretches to maximum overdrive, but.

[B]

Well, I'm aware it was a Stephen King novel. Right. And is it, what, Charlie Sheen or Michael Dunstan?

[C]

No, no, no. Emilio Estevez.

[B]

Emilio Estevez. I was close.

[A]

And I believe it was not a book first. I think it was his directorial debut.

[C]

The single most terrifying thing from my childhood is Maximum Oval.

[A]

Really?

[C]

The Bible salesman in the Ditch.

[A]

You know, I've never seen it, so I don't know. I don't know about the Bible salesman.

[B]

The Ditch, Doug. Have you seen it?

[A]

I do know some of the things that happens. Essentially rebel against mankind.

[C]

It's in fact, diesel trucks. Big, big diesel.

[B]

So it's like a car, and it's.

[C]

Set in a gas station.

[B]

And they say set in a gas station.

[C]

Sort of like a Flying J, kind of a.

[B]

You know, and they menace.

[C]

They trap everyone in the gas station and menace them. Oh, that's terrible. And the Bible salesman gets trapped in a ditch and run over. And it really, really caused a lot of machine trauma and religious trauma for a lot of children.

[B]

Well, I'm wondering if this is where you also have gotten this idea that something is, you know, something nefarious is taking over. You know, you could look back to that moment that might be the defining moment when you thought people are out to get us or this idea of a shadow government. Why was the way you say idea, idea like?

[C]

And I like it makes it sound like it can't be true.

[B]

Like, okay, let me. Let me. Let me change that.

[C]

Then.

[B]

Then you got a sense. You got a sense. So That's. That's. That's.

[C]

How about a knowledge?

[B]

Okay, fine.

[C]

A realization and knowing.

[A]

I think we can. I think we can grant you belief.

[B]

I think that's a belief because you're. You're. You know, of course, you're. You're free to have your beliefs. And I think that that's where that belief started.

[C]

And yet, aren't some things fake?

[A]

Yes. Some things are fact.

[C]

Do you believe one plus one is two, or do you know it?

[A]

Both.

[B]

My kids don't know it, but it.

[C]

Sounds like a failing in the heart.

[D]

I'm saying the Terrence Howard sounds like.

[C]

A failing in the math.

[A]

That's right.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Remember that?

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Boy, that was fun.

[D]

I didn't care for it.

[B]

How come?

[D]

Babe, it just sent me into. I just felt lost in this world after the twins started trying lecture me on it.

[B]

Oh, sure they were.

[D]

It really spun me around for a while.

[C]

I just think that there should be more clearly defined rules about things that could get you banned. Because I don't think that the things that, you know, the things that you. Your best interest, your. Your. Your best intentions in this. In this world, for your community should get you banned from that community.

[B]

Can I be honest here? But I really think we're still not getting what the actual post was that got her banned. Because what I'm gonna say right now is the first two things. Sure. I can see why someone might say, you're not welcome in this community or that's not appropriate. To me, that's really, like, jumping out. I feel like she's skirting around whatever big post was that got her bailouts.

[C]

If I say something that you don't like, you're welcome to comment or ask questions. You don't have to remove me from the.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

I did entirely right.

[A]

To be fair. We're asking questions and getting nowhere.

[D]

The neighborhap terms of service are pretty confusing, right?

[B]

I guess you've spent more time looking at them, babe, because you really like them.

[D]

Just read that.

[A]

You love tos.

[B]

You love to read that fine print.

[A]

You love it.

[D]

Gotta make sure you know what you're signing onto.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

I've seen people don't know download an.

[A]

App and then 10 minutes later say, agree.

[C]

So I called for the removal of all forms of government.

[B]

Okay, okay. Now we're getting somewhere. Now we're getting somewhere.

[C]

The state, the nation, and the world.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

That I think state, nation, and world.

[C]

Well, because we don't know if there's not an intergalactic life controlling us all. And if there is then that, then the problem probably starts there.

[B]

Okay, again, speaking of a problem starting someplace, I'm telling you, it's maximum overdrive. These moments are formative. I really think it could be.

[A]

You remember the commercial?

[B]

I don't remember the commercial.

[A]

Stephen King standing there himself in front of some trucks and he says to the camera, I'm gonna scare the hell out of you.

[C]

Mission accomplished, Mr. King. The trucks have faces.

[B]

The trucks have faces.

[C]

Somehow they have. They have angry energy and angry faces.

[B]

Sorry, what has angry energy and faces?

[A]

The trucks.

[B]

Oh, the trucks. Right. So then. Yes. So I think you saw that as some sort of like. Yes. Controlling power over which you don't have control. That's out to get us.

[C]

But isn't that like every movie from the 80s? Every single movie from my childhood was about how something is going to come and they're going to. The government will come and take your alien away and do experiments on it, for example. Or the Nazis will come and try to steal your ark and you'll have to melt their faces off in order to do something about it. Or, you know, Darth Vader will chop off your hand. There is always some controlling force of evil that is we must fight Rooney and Ferris Buak.

[A]

Do you not think that's just stories?

[C]

I believe stories are based on life.

[B]

All of them.

[A]

Well, I mean.

[B]

Well, in a way, yes.

[A]

In a way, yeah.

[C]

There is a truth at their core. Answer. I'm here to point to those truths, call out those truths, expose people to those truths. And the government doesn't like it.

[B]

Okay, so then can I ask if you called for the removal on a state, national and world level, what would Global. Yep, sure, yes. What would you replace it with? What would be your ideal?

[A]

Great question, Joe.

[B]

What would be your ideal? Thank you. What would be your ideal way of living in a society?

[C]

Personal way of self will, self identity. What you want and getting what you want. Self fulfillment, for example.

[B]

What is self fulfillment to you? What is it to you?

[C]

Because.

[A]

No, no, no. Well, Scott.

[B]

No, no, Scott, no, no, because my.

[C]

Self fulfillment, Joan, is for me. I don't want my self fulfillment for you. Then I would just be another government governing you.

[B]

Okay, Scott, let me ask you bring some order to this.

[A]

Apart from this month long ban on.

[C]

The neighborhap, which has been appealed. Which has been appealed.

[B]

Which has been appealed.

[C]

And I am awaiting eagerly the results of that appellation.

[A]

And it's strange because we found this on the neighborhaps. So are you sure you were banned.

[C]

Because it's an appeal. Until they decide I get to say so.

[A]

They have to let you on there.

[C]

You are innocent until proven guilty, Bern. That is still true today. As it was today. Jesus.

[A]

Okay, and we see how that worked.

[C]

Out for him as the amoeba crawled from the oath. They were innocent until proven guilty.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

And that is the secret of the ooze. Now, apart from this month long ban, which has been appealed, is there anything else where the government has stopped you from fulfilling your desires?

[C]

I can't just take deodorant off of the shelf anytime I want to, for example.

[A]

Okay, but now there's an explanation for that.

[C]

Yeah, there's always an explanation for why someone has to control or decide for you.

[A]

But all you do is you ask somebody to get to the deodorant. And maybe it takes a little longer than you want, or.

[B]

That is true. You do push that button for a long time.

[C]

Or, you know, you can download an app and you can use the app to open the door yourself. And that's another thing. The technology, the apps. The apps are the chains. The Marley Ghost.

[B]

She's moving around like she's doing a spell.

[A]

Wait, I thought the apps were a good thing.

[C]

No, the technology.

[A]

The technology.

[C]

That is. The technology controls it all. It's all controlled by the same people.

[B]

Who are those people?

[A]

Okay, I don't know.

[B]

The government?

[C]

The rich tech bro government.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[C]

The people who are advancing and controlling.

[B]

I'm not gonna say that there's not possibly some truth to what she's talking about. You know what? We're getting consolidating power. And I get it, but I see.

[C]

A question for you, Joan and Berndt. Is all of this so preposterous to you? Do you live in such a tower?

[B]

I just said I live. I just said to you I would give you some of these things. I've heard these words.

[C]

But I understand. Of course you won't.

[B]

But what I'm saying is, I haven't heard a good. I don't understand what it is you want instead. You know, you can't have full chaos. You can't have everyone just not stopping at a red light, throw bottles in the street. Yeah, you can't.

[A]

That's chaos, baby.

[C]

I just want people to decide for themselves how they live and where they live and what they get to do.

[B]

What if I come to your house and say, I've decided. This is where I want to live. I'm moving in now. That's why I have free will, Joan.

[C]

I want you to look deep in my eyes, because if you came and lived in my house, I would rock your world.

[B]

Oh, my.

[C]

You would not.

[B]

She just went eyeball to eyeball with me.

[A]

She really did. I've never seen anybody get that close to you.

[B]

Like, our eyeballs touch. Living. I didn't think that was possible.

[A]

I heard it.

[C]

Living in my house.

[B]

Very weird sound.

[C]

Living in my house is what Taylor Swift's Wood is about.

[B]

Living in your house. That's what it's about.

[C]

It's about me, baby.

[B]

That's confusing.

[A]

So you would give Joan the key to your thighs?

[C]

Joan would not need to be given anything.

[B]

I mean, I have to say, I'm intrigued.

[C]

Of course you are. But these are the kind of things that no one wants to know the truth about.

[B]

But also, how come your answer. How come your answer to me suggesting a scenario that I think really puts into motion what you're suggesting? How are you answering with it? That you'll satisfy me sexually. So it's okay? Is this what this is really about? Those dots getting people to come to your house?

[C]

I'm just saying that if you.

[A]

Oh, no, now, see, all I'm saying.

[C]

Is that if you want help choosing a dress, come to my house.

[B]

Okay. This is.

[C]

Oh, you found a kitten in the street. Bring it to my house.

[B]

Can I ask, do you live alone?

[C]

I mean, alone is such a subj.

[A]

Not a single question has been answered just forthrightly, such as. Oh, you're calling it such as. Such as the very last question called you out.

[B]

Do you. What do you do for a living? Can I ask that? Should I ask that? Dare I ask that?

[C]

I live for a living.

[B]

This is the way we all are.

[C]

Just making our way on this planet. So what do we do for. You mean, what do I do for money?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

I write fan fiction.

[A]

Oh, and you get paid for that?

[C]

Well, yes, I am part of a vertical.

[B]

Is it a substack?

[C]

It's a part of a vertical streaming. A service where you pay per chapter. Well, you can buy coins and then you can use those coins to unlock chapters.

[B]

What is it? Can I ask what your subject is of the fan fiction?

[C]

Omegaverse? Wolf. Reverse. Harem pack. Omega Pack.

[A]

Are you okay?

[C]

No, I'm answering the question very directly. Actually, Berndt, after being asked for the last 45 minutes to directly answer. Okay, question as I finally do it. You needle me.

[A]

You needle me.

[D]

Omega Wolf Pack. Reverse pack.

[C]

I did fear that you were glitching werewolf fiction. Omegaverse rules apply with a reverse. You know, Alpha, beta, Omega rules. Yes, with reverse harem. Sexual reverse harem.

[B]

That's the one I'm hung up on. What's that?

[C]

Well, some people call it a what? Why choose? Meaning why should she choose? If she wants to be with four, then she gets all four. Always a happy ending you can find.

[B]

I'm not sure about always.

[C]

Always a happy ending, Joan.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And if you don't believe me, come to my house.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

She's trying to give me your house again.

[D]

Why are you questioning how the Omegaverse ends?

[B]

I'm so. Babe, why in the world.

[C]

Oh, are you.

[D]

That sounded.

[B]

This is mean to me.

[C]

This is.

[B]

Are you a subscriber to this beta question? I've ever. I guarantee you.

[D]

Well, I was on your side.

[C]

Well, yes, I know. I. I like the question.

[D]

Beta is good in your world, right?

[C]

Beta. Beta is not bad.

[A]

I will say somebody's got to support the alphas.

[C]

I am alpha. And that a lot of people can't handle that, and so they want to ban me.

[D]

Rankings were reversed.

[C]

Not reversed. No, reverse harem. Meaning you don't.

[D]

I'm still making my way through the means. The prologue.

[C]

Same means one with several men sexually, Right?

[B]

Oh, got it, got it, got it.

[C]

And she doesn't have to choose between them. She gets to have them all. Some people call it a Y. Shoe.

[A]

That does sound like a harem.

[B]

White shoes.

[C]

Yes, Correct. But it's a reverse harem in that it's a woman instead.

[A]

Oh, I see.

[B]

It would be called a Him. Him.

[C]

I'm not sure English words.

[B]

Him.

[C]

Which.

[B]

First of all, it should be hur him and then him.

[A]

Well, yeah, if it is hurrem, then sure, it should be him, but since it's not. That was interesting, though. First of all, it should be this. And then the reverse would be this.

[D]

If things were different, it should be this.

[A]

That's a really good gambit. I like it.

[B]

I don't. I think it's rubbing off on me. I think all her ways of, you know, things are maybe so logic and. And reason.

[D]

What do you call a group of elderly ladies who you're employing?

[A]

I love this joke.

[B]

Are you asking for the actual answer, or are you going to tell me?

[C]

Do you mean. How would I write this story?

[D]

Hair gram.

[A]

Hair gram.

[B]

How?

[C]

I wasn't trying to set up a.

[D]

Joke, but I just created one on the spot.

[A]

Because we're grandmas.

[B]

He just created a joke on the spot. Babe.

[A]

Anyone play on anything?

[B]

I mean, burned. My brain is melting a little bit.

[A]

Well, we're In a very confusing state.

[C]

Is it because they're all grandmas? Is that. What. Is that? Why a hair. You know, not every.

[D]

I just said that on the spot. I want that.

[C]

You know, not every woman that.

[A]

Surprise.

[C]

Not every woman wants to be defined by her relationship to the children and grandchildren.

[B]

I understand that. I get that. I get that.

[C]

I know you do, Joan. You do not want to be defined by your children.

[B]

Well, no, not certainly. When I'm. When I'm dead. I don't want to be only remembered for that.

[C]

Probably not even now.

[B]

I. I don't know. But what do we. What do we say? What do we say to Scott? I don't. I don't. You know, sometime we always try to help here, but in this case, I feel like that we were met with some resistance. And I also think this is mostly just that you want people to come to your house. Am I correct?

[C]

If you have more to say, come to my house and we can talk about it.

[A]

Now, why don't you put that in the post?

[B]

That is a good question.

[C]

Not everyone is invited to my house. I want to make sure, you know, that would be all right.

[A]

But you are saying it on this podcast.

[C]

I'm saying it to the two of you.

[A]

Oh, I see.

[B]

Oh, we can come.

[A]

All right. Are there any broad rules for who can and cannot come to the house?

[C]

People who believe in the truth, People who want to ask questions and hear answers, People who aren't afraid. I don't want a bunch of scared people coming to my house being afraid.

[B]

Oh, that sounds sort of judge.

[A]

I guess I don't either.

[B]

Right? I guess.

[A]

Never thought about it. But, yeah, I don't want a bunch of scared people coming to my house to be afraid.

[B]

Unless it's Halloween.

[A]

Unless it's Halloween.

[C]

But mostly, I welcome all kinds of people. Just people, you know, just people who don't think I should be banned for who I am.

[B]

Who are those people?

[C]

I haven't met them yet. Joan.

[B]

Okay, I think we're done here.

[A]

I honestly don't see any way that we're going to reach any sort of understanding.

[B]

Right. We really. We try to. Every time we strive, we strive to.

[C]

For what it's worth, I understand. Understand you both perfectly.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

And you know what? I. I look forward to a post on the neighborhap about where you explain everything about what I am. But I think for now it would be best to just say, best of luck to you. We wish you. We wish you the best.

[A]

Very best of luck.

[C]

As well. To me as well.

[D]

You're banned.

[A]

Oh, what?

[B]

Babe, what are you talking about?

[D]

I am banishing you.

[B]

Oh, this is strong energy. This is what?

[C]

This is what happens when a Beta tries to be helpful. They say. Oh, no, they say things. I can accept your banishment. I can accept your banishment.

[A]

No appeal.

[C]

If it's how he feels and what he wants, then bring it on.

[A]

Now. Why can't you apply that to the neighbor?

[C]

Hap, if they applied it to me, then I would apply it to them.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I do know that Doug is. I do know that Doug is lashing out because I have most certainly stolen his woman here today.

[B]

Oh, dear. Well, I wouldn't be so sure of it.

[D]

You just earned yourself a second month's ban. Wow.

[A]

Oh, I didn't realize it was a month ban.

[C]

I look forward to appealing.

[D]

You can come back in two months.

[C]

I look forward to appealing that ban. All right, well, have my lawyer draw up an appeal.

[B]

Sure. Okay. Have him draw that up.

[A]

Sure. I wish we had time.

[B]

You said lawyer.

[A]

I wish we had time to get into lawyer.

[C]

How do you say it?

[A]

No, I said lawyer.

[B]

Let's not get into it. It involves dip thongs, and we don't have time to ask you.

[C]

I didn't mean the way to say.

[A]

Meant to find out who your lawyer is.

[C]

Is there a different way to say lawyer?

[A]

No, there isn't.

[B]

Let's say there's. No, there isn. Let's say there isn't. And let's say goodbye to you.

[A]

Yes. Scott, thank you for appearing on the Neighborhood Listen, and best of luck to you.

[C]

I feel like I've made lifelong friends here today.

[B]

I'm so glad you did. I'm so glad you did.

[A]

If you have one final message to the neighborhap, what would it be?

[C]

I just want you to know that I am so grateful to everyone who has stood by me and to everyone who is helping me appeal this horrific injustice. And thank you so much for being such a loving and beautiful community. And we will, too, take down this power that is trying to stop us from our truths.

[B]

Well, the whole time, I thought it was just her. And I never got any indication she had any friends or any support.

[A]

I think that it is just her.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[C]

Great.

[B]

All right. Thank you so much, Scott.

[C]

You're so welcome. I will see you tomorrow.

[A]

We'll be back when the day we Listen. When it ever listen returns. This is Carmen Lusk. He's free. Hi. I know I'm not posting this on the right page, but I can't figure this out. I lost my house keys a few days ago. Actually, a week ago. Near Mahogany and Elm. And lbj, please. If anyone found them, please let me know. My name is Carmen. Thank you so much, and welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen, I. I don't know that I've been more frustrated by a guest. Right.

[B]

Just when you think, well, that was the craziest guest, you know. And then along comes another real character.

[D]

So the.

[A]

The chief problems that Scott faced.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Were loneliness.

[B]

Not.

[A]

Well, before we get into that, I'm saying by their own.

[B]

Of course. Of course. Of course.

[A]

Not being allowed to tell people that they look bad in two dresses.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

And deodorant that they have to wait for.

[B]

Sounds like it. And then just not wanting anyone to make any rules whatsoever at all. I think.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think the case was.

[B]

And a deep set. Paranoia, paranoia. Sorry. But it really did sound.

[A]

Oh, rabbit. Deep sip. Paranoia.

[B]

You have such paranoia. I mean, o' Brien made me slip on the soap, but I still take a bath. I got paranoid about a bath. I moved on from that.

[A]

Oh, Brian.

[B]

Oh, Brian.

[A]

I also don't think the case was made that a shadow government is controlling.

[B]

No, it was just something she said. There was. No, there was Never.

[A]

Over and over again.

[B]

Over and over and again.

[A]

Boy, oh, boy. As far as conspiracy theorists go.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I've had more fun with others.

[B]

What's the most fun you've had? Which one was the most fun for you?

[A]

Well, I guess here's. I like when a conspiracy theorist will lay out all the elements of the conspiracy and connect the dots. Because that is the hardest part of it. Sure is saying, here's how this all fits together. And then you're saying to a person who is looking at you like you're crazy and. Because of course you are.

[B]

Listen, you're talking Doug's language because of course he has a conspiracy. Right.

[D]

So, like I said, I don't believe in that no more.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know that. You said that already. Yeah, that happened abruptly. This is.

[A]

He burned through the conspiracy phase so quickly.

[D]

I wish I still did because I could have related to her.

[B]

Yeah, but you built. So the room is just abandoned now.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Just as simple as that.

[A]

It's just a yarn and corkboard room now.

[D]

Yeah. It's just a bunch of coincidences.

[B]

A coincidence room.

[A]

It's a coincidence room.

[B]

You just stand and look at it and shrug and go, huh?

[A]

Who knew? What if people were fervently telling you about coincidences?

[B]

Yes, yes. With the urgency. With the urgency of a piece of. These two are not connected. These two are not related.

[D]

You know what I bet.

[A]

Isn't that weird, though?

[B]

This happened and just this happened.

[D]

I bet what Scott did. Because the number one rule on neighborhood Happen.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

You cannot draw mustaches on other people.

[A]

That is.

[B]

It's true. And people. Well, they were doing it all the time.

[A]

Yeah. How were they doing it?

[B]

I know. Well, that's what I wanted to know.

[A]

You post a picture.

[B]

Why is that one of the features?

[D]

Well, it's weird because it has a feature of a pencil. Like you can take a pencil to other people.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Why pictures, but then you cannot draw them.

[A]

I guess it's just a test of people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, it's kind of.

[B]

It's kind of city wide. People were drawing mustaches on the animals for a while.

[A]

It's like the king going abroad in the kingdom in the guise of a beggar to see what people truly think about the king.

[B]

Oh, like Undercover Boss.

[A]

What?

[B]

Undercover King?

[D]

What's that?

[B]

Oh, do you not know it?

[D]

No.

[B]

You're kidding. Well, you don't.

[D]

Undercover Brother.

[B]

What would that be, babe?

[D]

That's the thing, right?

[A]

It was a movie.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Eddie Crist.

[B]

Oh, it was.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, didn't know it.

[A]

At the height of Eddie Griffin's comedic.

[B]

Okay, so I'm just gonna. Speaking of neighborhap, I'm gonna read another post here, and this one is sweet. What was that?

[A]

What was that?

[B]

What was that? Wait, are the ladies up? Are they up from there?

[D]

One of them just woke up.

[B]

Yeah, that was her waking up.

[A]

What was that noise?

[B]

Sounded like a. A baby animal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What is. What is that? That does not sound.

[A]

Is she saying. Yeah, yeah, she's excited.

[B]

Why is she saying only one thing over and over?

[A]

Because she's still alive. She woke up I another day.

[B]

Oh, that was fun. My grandmother, she used to take naps during the day, and she'd say, I'm practicing, you know, for death.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I thought that was charming.

[A]

That's right.

[D]

Delightful.

[B]

And that's kind of the theme of this post. Now, this is what's funny, that it's charming, but it's also deeply mysterious. This is from Nadia.

[A]

Just like Dracula.

[B]

But then, as you can see. But then as you can see from her sort of profile, this is. Nadia is not the person in the picture. In the picture is a lovely older lady. And. And it just says she's full of life and joy. Wouldn't know. Grandma's 93 years young, harvested Some delicious pomegranates over the weekend. And it's just a picture of this woman, and God bless her, but she doesn't tell us our name. Her name, and there's no context. And I really would love to know her name, first of all, and I don't necessarily know why pomegranate harvesting is like, just the sign that she's going strong. But I am supporting it and I love it.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

But there's nothing logical about that.

[A]

Well, I mean, if you look at the amount of pomegranates, there were, sure a lot.

[B]

If she harvested all of those herself, good for her.

[A]

So many different containers.

[B]

Canes. I think she just. I think she just whacked her cane against the tree a couple times and they all fell.

[A]

Do you think it's the cane with the prongs?

[B]

Oh, it definitely is. You can tell. Look, you can always see that kind.

[A]

Of cane with the prongs. That is the cane with the prongs.

[B]

That's a good one.

[A]

You know, we sell them at the store.

[B]

I know you do.

[A]

At the pharmacy. You can get all kinds of canes. Our cane selection cannot be beat.

[B]

What is that sound, babe? Now it's not going to happen. Sounds like a.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

Is that one of the ladies? It's a local bird.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's wonderful.

[D]

Oh, the other. They do have a clav cassette, if.

[A]

You were wondering what that noise was. It's a local bird. Sorry, no further information available at this time. Check back later.

[B]

Anyways, you're saying you sell all kinds of canes?

[A]

Oh, our cane selection is so good. I'm very proud of it. We have straight canes. We have the cane with the handle and the prongs. We have little shorty canes.

[B]

Little shorty canes.

[D]

Do we have knife canes?

[A]

We do have. Well, sword canes. Yes, we have sword canes. We have canes with our little.

[B]

Do you have apple bottom canes?

[A]

We do have apple bottom canes.

[D]

Boots of the fur.

[B]

Doug, I just wanted to say it.

[A]

We have the canes that have vials in them so you can put booze in.

[B]

Oh, do you have a cane? Do you have a cane that turns into an umbrella, like a James Bond cane?

[A]

Well, umbrellas.

[B]

Okay. I guess you can use them.

[A]

I mean, an umbrella is a cane that turns into an umbrella.

[B]

But I wouldn't want. No, what I would want is a sheath for the umbrella so that your cane can be dry.

[A]

Yeah, umbrellas have that.

[B]

No, but they have. It's canvas. I want one that's wooden.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What are you gonna do about it?

[D]

Don't burn in charge of the design.

[A]

I think the problem is it would make the cane significantly wider.

[B]

You're right.

[D]

And heavier.

[A]

And heavier.

[B]

Why would you want. How far along are you into an addiction that you need to drink out of your cane?

[A]

If you're an old person and you're going to, you know, go to a.

[B]

Football game, it just seems like so much work.

[A]

And you eat a flat, and you eat and have a nip of brandy.

[B]

Sure. But it's like a. It's like a pipet of brandy.

[A]

Well, maybe you already have a flask and you know that somebody's going to take all your flask.

[B]

Take all your flask? Yeah.

[A]

You have a friend that's like, oh, I know this guy. He's going to hog it. And then you say, well, he can't beat me. I have flask.

[B]

But is there any more surreptitious than drinking out of a cane?

[D]

It is very noticeable.

[A]

Take it out. You take the tube out. Oh, but, like, there's no way to do. That's what I was chugging from a tub. No, no, no. You unscrew the top and you pull the. You pull. Pull the vial out.

[B]

Okay. But still, everyone can see the vial. You look like if you pull it out. The test tube. That's right.

[A]

That's exactly what.

[B]

That seems strange.

[A]

Test tube with a cork in it.

[B]

Yeah, a test tube with a cork in it.

[A]

Well, Joan, it is strange. I mean, let's face it.

[B]

And listen, if you need it that badly, that's not going to do it for you. Just a little drop.

[A]

We have to get six vials in there.

[B]

Oh, you can't. Yeah, that sounds long. That's like a long cane. Is this. Well, first.

[A]

First. The vial is so tiny now that there's six of them, it's so long.

[B]

Okay, I don't mean to get you upset.

[C]

Set.

[B]

I'm sorry. We're riled up from our guests.

[A]

I'm very defensive about the canes.

[B]

I needled you about the canes.

[A]

You needled me? Needling.

[B]

I needled you about the canes. Don't needle. Well, can you just tell me when the ladies get. Get off of work out there? Like, when do they get to go home? Because I think they should go home. Do you. Did they all drive?

[A]

I don't think they ever should have come.

[B]

Wait a second.

[A]

This doesn't seem unmistakable. Sound of old ladies. Some of them are whistling, and they're they're all talking.

[B]

I think some of them are playing basketball.

[D]

They're really up and at it right now.

[A]

Sounds like it.

[B]

It also sounds like several people. Not just like three old women.

[D]

No, they're. They're out at 9:30pm do you mean.

[B]

They'Re done at 9:30? That is way too late. I go to bed by 9:30 to.

[D]

Go home and, and do whatever.

[B]

Free to go home whenever they want to. What is wrong with you, babe? Every time you have, like labor at her house. I do not like it. I don't like it. I. I definitely hear more men. I definitely hear more men than women. I'm just going to be honest. It's hard to find a single woman's voice in.

[A]

Some of them were smokers.

[B]

Perhaps.

[D]

There's a lot of Bearthor types.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Well, then they're hardy.

[A]

I guess they're fine.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Well, that does it for this episode of the Neighborhood Listen. Thank you so much for listening. Follow us on Instagram if you want to see the posts that we use on the show. We're just the neighborhood Listen on Instagram.

[B]

That's just what we are.

[A]

And if you want to hear that's just what we are. And if you want to hear, add free versions of the show or get access to our bonus content, go to cbbworld.com, sign up on the Maximus tier and all of that awaits you. Well, I guess that's it. What can be left to say but goodbye and bye?

[B]

All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[A]

The Neighborhood Listened is is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins and.

[D]

Me, Nicole Parker and me, Brett Morris.

[A]

This episode's guest was played by Tara Copeland. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[B]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show. Ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the.