Giving Rid Of Goats? with Talia Tabin

Summary

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The Neighborhood Listen

Episode: Giving Rid Of Goats? with Talia Tabin

Release Date: December 23, 2025
Summary by Section with Timestamps

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Neighborhood Listen takes listeners back to the fictional town of Dignity Falls, with hosts Burnt Miapede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), and Doug Korn Pedestrian (Brett Morris). The central theme revolves around a quirky neighbor, Michaela, who posts in search of a goat as a potential nanny substitute. The episode explores the realities and absurdities behind this unusual quest, the dynamics of her family life, and the mounting suspicions around her absentee husband. There's also plenty of neighborhood banter, improvisational comedy, and insight into the odd idiosyncrasies of Dignity Falls.

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Key Highlights and Discussion Points

1. Holiday Setup and Opening Banter

[02:36 - 14:00]

• The episode kicks off with a Christmas mood and technical complaints about recording wires. Doug’s current “studio” is set up in a homemade snow globe room at home.
• Debate over Goo Gone's efficacy and reminiscence about sticky residue from tape.
• Banter about assembling products like cars at the local pharmacy (absurdly out of place for a pharmacy).
• Joan shares her struggles with Doug’s night terrors and their failed attempt to solve it using an adult-sized Snoo cradle, known as "the Cadillac of cradles."
• Fun nostalgia: “Do people know what a Cadillac is anymore, dear?” – Joan ([09:00])
• Doug describes the snow globe room with a rotating globe—a running comedy bit about whether it’s filled with water, contains a mini-Dignity Falls, and whether he swims in it as a King Kong-sized figure.

2. Personal Lives, Holiday Traditions, and Secret Santa

[14:00 - 26:00]

• Burnt is engaged to Gabby; plans to climb Devil’s Tower with her family for Christmas, sparking concern from Joan about the safety and experience required for such a climb.
• The Pedestrian family’s unique “Secret Santa” involves sneaking into homes at night to leave and steal presents, with elements of capture-the-flag and elaborate security measures.
• Joan: “Every night, someone in the family has to break into the house ... and leave a present, take a present.” ([20:14])
• Quirks around how Secret Santa names are drawn—in this case, drawing fly wings from a ramekin, a chilling but beloved family tradition.

3. Transition to Main Guest Segment: "Giving Rid Of Goats?"

[28:45 - 29:50]

• A Neighborhood Listen listener forwards an unusual neighborhood app post: "Does anyone know or is selling/giving rid of goats? Not miniature ones, though."
• Meeting Michaela, a busy mom of five, who explains her search for a goat to help with child-rearing after losing her nanny.

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Main Guest Interview: Michaela’s Quest for a Goat

[29:50 - 59:00]

Background and Motivation

• Michaela feels invisible in the community, despite attempts to get the hosts’ attention.
• She admits, “I have so many kids... Five. And we just lost our nanny.” ([34:52])
• Lists her kids’ names and ages: Julie, Jesse, Jamie, John, and Karen; ages range from four months to fourteen years.
  • Joan, incredulous: “A Karen?... We’re making sure she doesn’t turn into that kind of Karen.” ([35:42])
• Claims distant relation to James Karen (Poltergeist actor) and the unique family dynamic that comes with it.

Goats as Nannies: Logic and Logistics

• Michaela wants the kids to "get back to nature" and imagines a goat as the solution, believing goats can provide milk, companionship, and even serve as transport with saddlebags for the baby.
• The hosts balk at the idea: “I feel like if you’re a babysitter, all you need is dial 911, you know, food, make sure they don’t die. That’s all you gotta do.” – Joan ([38:18])
• Michaela: “What don’t goats do?” ([37:57])
• Practical, increasingly ridiculous questions arise: Should kids drink straight from the goat? How will goats be interviewed for suitability? Will they wear saddlebags?

Why Not Hire a Traditional Babysitter?

• Michaela refuses to hire teens or traditional babysitters, wanting “no more kids in the house.” ([53:22])
• Joan advocates for practical solutions: “Why don’t you get a babysitter who’s like 24? ... There’s college students.” ([59:05])
• Michaela remains steadfast in her pursuit of a goat, citing failed attempts at finding trustworthy nannies and a desire to avoid more “kids.”

Examination of Michaela’s Family Life and Relationship Suspicion

[59:00 - 73:50]

• Burnt and Joan scrutinize Michaela’s marital arrangement:
  • Cory Cody (husband) sleeps all day, ostensibly works the brief “night shift” at the town’s secretive “big plant.”
  • The more Michaela explains, the more the hosts suspect something’s amiss: Cory may not actually work, may be frequenting the local bar, and the house and bills are all in Michaela’s name.
  • “You should be furious. This is well within your power... These are his children, too.” – Joan ([70:29])
• Michaela is hesitant to confront her husband but considers the input with growing realization: “So I’m being used?” ([70:04])

Memorable Quotes and Moments

• “Giving rid of goats” as a phrase becomes a running joke for its awkwardness and unclear intent ([49:44])
• Joan: “You need a goat? No. You need a husband!” ([69:40])
• Michaela, referring to her husband: “He set up all the bills to be automatic payments on my credit card.” ([68:21])
• Burnt’s advice: “At 9:01pm, change the locks.” ([76:37])

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Miscellaneous Segments & Neighborhood Absurdities

[76:56 - End]

Side Topics

• The current events in Dignity Falls: a bleak post about selling a two-person burial plot due to a breakup after 50 years, with the seller's husband leaving her for an "older woman." ([78:51])
• The dangers of poorly named circuses: Lula’s warning about the “Garden Bros. Humans Gone Wild Circus,” which delivered an unexpectedly risqué show for kids. ([87:11])
  • “Not only was it $60 per adult and $20 parking, but the tent was about 100 degrees... 8 women in high-waisted thongs front and back came out and danced sexually...” – Read aloud by Joan ([87:09])
• Doug’s ongoing snow globe construction, eventually discussing the logistics of spinning, water, gyroscopes, and festive “Pine Man” costumes.

Closings and Notable Musical Moments

• A recurring joke about a homemade “Christmas crack carol,” including the invented lyric:
  • “Here he comes, Father Christmas of the mountain, put your hand in his crack” ([85:52])
• Running commentary about local traditions and sensations, including goats that say "goat," TikTok goats, and the comedic absurdity of viral neighborhood decorations.

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Notable Quotes

• "A peanut can be so light that it never touches the ground." – Doug ([15:05])
• “Every guy loves to be in a tiny model of a city... Wouldn’t you stomp on, grab a lady with his hand?” – Joan ([16:01])
• “The house is in his name. He has no job. He saddled you with five kids. He’s a creep.” – Burnt ([74:31])
• “Put your hand in his crack.” – From the made-up Dignity Falls climbing carol ([84:52])

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Snow globe discussion & King Kong-size Doug: [06:10 - 18:00]
• Secret Santa & family rituals: [19:00 - 24:00]
• Listener neighborhood post — goats: [28:45]
• Michaela’s interview: [29:50 - 74:00]
• Confrontation about her husband: [62:00 - 73:50]
• Bleak burial plot post: [78:51]
• Sexual circus parents’ warning: [87:11]
• Holiday crack carol: [84:52, 85:52, 99:24]
• Doug’s snow globe closing segment: [92:44-98:00]

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Tone and Style

The episode maintains the hosts’ hallmark blend of farcical improv, quick wit, and genuine warmth even through absurdity. Joan’s nurturing, practical energy contrasts with Burnt’s playful skepticism and Doug’s bemused, offbeat contributions. Their playful interrogation of Michaela’s situation moves from lighthearted at the start to surprisingly heartfelt and supportive by the end.

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Takeaways

• The idea of “giving rid of goats” is used hilariously to highlight both the logistical impracticality and the emotional exhaustion of parenthood.
• The episode subtly shifts from comic absurdity about goats and nannies to a more earnest discussion about relationships, fairness in marriage, and self-advocacy.
• The hosts, while keeping things funny, offer empathy and empowerment to their guest, encouraging her to expect—and demand—more of her partner.
• As always, the peculiarities of Dignity Falls and the hosts’ own quirks frame this sincere message in a wrapper of weird, wonderful neighborhood comedy.

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For listeners new and old: this episode is an excellent snapshot of The Neighborhood Listen’s talents in blending improvisational comedy, heartfelt realness, and wildly inventive community storytelling.

Transcript

[Michaela]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[Burnt Miapede]

Zoe, this thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Santa.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[Burnt Miapede]

He's talking to you britches.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I'm not.

[Michaela]

Of course he did.

[Burnt Miapede]

Right, Santa, you know my elf, Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list. And elf, I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T mobile, you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies, right, Mrs. Claus?

[Michaela]

Hi, Mrs. Claude Claus, much younger sister.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And AT T mobile, there's no trade.

[Michaela]

In needed when you switch, so you can keep your old phone or give.

[Burnt Miapede]

It as a gift.

[Michaela]

And the best part, you can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Nice.

[Burnt Miapede]

My side of the tree is slipping. Kimber, the holidays are better. AT T Mobile, switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. And now T mobile is available in U.S. cellular stores with sweet monthly bill credits for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 device connection charge credits and imbalance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel financing agreement. 256 gigs. $830. Eligible for it in a new line. $100 plus a month plan with auto check out 15 minutes or less per line. Visit t mobile.com Palais Tout Francais, hablas espanol. Parli italiano. If you've used Babbel, you would.

[Joan Pedestrian]

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[Burnt Miapede]

Words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk.

[Joan Pedestrian]

About in the real world. With lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers.

[Burnt Miapede]

Babbel is like having a private tutor in your pocket.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Start speaking with Babbel today.

[Burnt Miapede]

Get up to 55% off your Babbel.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Subscription right now at babbel.com wandery spelled.

[Burnt Miapede]

B-A B B E L.com wandery rules.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And restrictions may apply.

[Burnt Miapede]

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Burnt Miapede]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Occasionally, we change the names of some.

[Burnt Miapede]

Streets and that's all you need to know to support the show and unlock the ad free archive as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room. Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood.

[Burnt Miapede]

Listen. Knock, knock.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Who's there?

[Burnt Miapede]

Your neighbor.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Good indignity falls. You're never alone. You've got the neighbor half ass and us.

[Burnt Miapede]

Burn and Joan.

[Joan Pedestrian]

From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all and meet new.

[Burnt Miapede]

Neighbors as chat about any posts you're.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Missing, so just tune in to the neighborhood.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Listen.

[Burnt Miapede]

God damn wires.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Are you okay?

[Burnt Miapede]

I'm fine. There's wires all over the place. We've started.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's how it always goes.

[Burnt Miapede]

Are we recording, Doug?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

We're recording.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You're complaining about the wires.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'm not. That makes it sound like I'm being a petulant child. And it's really just. There's so many.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And she. Man.

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, thank you for that, I guess. But there are. It does seem like the wire is a little more tangled than usual.

[Joan Pedestrian]

There are. And it's always interesting because, you know, since my husband Doug records in a different room every week, sometimes it's less wires, sometimes it's more wires. Because depending on how far away he is. But you are right. I'm. I'm not going to deny the fact that there does seem to be a few more cords.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Well, thank you.

[Burnt Miapede]

Eventually.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And I wish that he had masking tape them or you know how like. Like, especially, like, on the stage, if there's chords, you know, then you put. So people don't trip over.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes, of course.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They sort of COVID them up with, like, a gaff. Oh, hey, babe. Yeah, gaff. Gaffer's tape. Is that what it's called?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

It is, yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah. So where.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

They would never use masking tape.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, I understand. I stand corrected. I use the wrong. I use the wrong type of tape. You're right. Could you use duct tape? Could you do that?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No, you wouldn't want to do that because that would stick forever.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah, that's so true.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Forever.

[Burnt Miapede]

You just have so much gunk. If you. If you peeled up the tape, then there's all the residue.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

Then you got to get one of those scrapers.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, I hate that.

[Burnt Miapede]

I hate that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You gotta get goo gone. You ever try goo gone?

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah. You know what? It very rarely works.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's not been my experience.

[Burnt Miapede]

The secret to how you're supposed to do it, because I feel like it's just. Oh, it's mer.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What did you do, walk me through it?

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, I open up the jar.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So far, you're doing it right.

[Burnt Miapede]

I say go ahead.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Wait a minute. You expected to jump out and do it like a magical potion?

[Burnt Miapede]

What do you think I'm doing?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, okay. Yes. You put it. Probably put it on a rag, and you probably rubbed it on the price sticker. Whatever you wanted to get off.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes. Well, first I peel off the price sticker with my thumbnail.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, you try to get as much as you can off with your thumbnail. Yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

Vantage time.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

What?

[Burnt Miapede]

No. Doug heard no off anything.

[Joan Pedestrian]

He heard peel off. He's hungry.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I got. I'm starving for pilaf.

[Burnt Miapede]

It was a real rice peel off. What would that be, that event? A rice peel off where you're.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

You're all in the parking lot.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Doug's on it.

[Burnt Miapede]

All in the parking lot.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You're in a car. You're gonna peel off. Get it? Yes. We went to the same place, he and I.

[Burnt Miapede]

Right. And how does the rice factor in?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Are you.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Big bowl of rice at the end of the.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's not what I was gonna say.

[Burnt Miapede]

A big bowl of rice.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Big bowl of rice.

[Burnt Miapede]

We're racing for a big bowl of rice.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's a rice. Rice.

[Burnt Miapede]

Drag.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Rice drag rice. Wow. We're off to a strong start, everybody. So what room are you in, babe? Are you really far? Yeah. We haven't even said who we are. I don't know that Doug should get introduced first.

[Burnt Miapede]

Doug, stand down and stand by.

[Joan Pedestrian]

As we've said.

[Burnt Miapede]

Welcome to the neighborhood. Listen. This is the neighborhood listen.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It sure is. This is the podcast you were wondering. Let's have it a third time. This is the neighborhood. Listen.

[Burnt Miapede]

This is the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its many residents. We are two such residents. My name is Burnt Miapede. I am the. The pharmacist in chief of the Dignity fallsmassy Pharmacy right here in Dignity Falls. And with me, as always, is.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm Joan Pedestrian. I'm the top realtor here and also the top local actress.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's right. And the voice you heard earlier is Doug, our engineer, who is Joan's husband, Doug Korn. Pedestrian.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's right. He took my last name.

[Burnt Miapede]

Doug, where are you this time?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I'm excited about this one. I'm in the snow globe.

[Burnt Miapede]

The snow globe. Tis the season.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So you haven't filled it with water yet. Make sure you get out of there before you fill with.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah, you can't unless you have scuba glue.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, I think he wants to swim around in it. Am I right? Tell me about it.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I get that snow globe's more about.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Wouldn't it be fun to swim in a snow globe? Finally get to go in that little house.

[Burnt Miapede]

Visit the Empire State Building.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So what. How have you constructed this, babe?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Well, it's a ball. Sure. Good.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Places.

[Burnt Miapede]

Globe taken care of.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

And it rotates it rotates. Yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

To keep the snow flying.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

To keep the snow flying.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I see. So it.

[Burnt Miapede]

It rotates at a great speed.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I was gonna say, I think it should agitate more than rotate.

[Burnt Miapede]

Agitate. Like a snoo.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Like a snoo?

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

How do you know a snoo burns?

[Burnt Miapede]

We started selling them at the Fallsmas.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You're kidding me.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Usually that does.

[Burnt Miapede]

We have some big box items now.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You sure do. I guess. Because that is huge.

[Burnt Miapede]

You can put cars there now?

[Joan Pedestrian]

No. You can.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

And they're in boxes? Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

At the pharmacy. In a box?

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

How does that even work? Well, you just drive it right out of the box.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, no, no. You can't do that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Oh, no. You'd have to put it together yourself at home.

[Burnt Miapede]

That. Well, yes, you do. You get a car kit, all makes and models.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, dear.

[Burnt Miapede]

But you are responsible for getting it out of the store.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You have to assemble. You have to assemble it in the store. What is this Amazing Race?

[Burnt Miapede]

You don't assemble it in the store. I can't have that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I thought that's what you just said.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, I said you're responsible for getting it out of the store.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right. So you would have to assemble it in the store if you want to get it out.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, you're not.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Allow.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Carried the box out.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah. You have to get the box out there.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

And you can't do it in the parking lot either.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Wow.

[Burnt Miapede]

We can't. We can't have all this going on. This place of business.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't. Did you really need all this extra product? I don't make sense for a pharmacy.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I don't think we did.

[Burnt Miapede]

I also agree it doesn't make sense for a pharmacist.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, good, good.

[Burnt Miapede]

I.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

As.

[Burnt Miapede]

As the pharmacist in chief, of course, I am the. The. The top guy there. So when the. When the owners of the Fallsma said they were going to do this, I said, I don't know about this. Were doing it. And I said I had to go back to the gang and say. I tried.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I tried to get. They make adults news because Doug was having a real problem with night terrors. And I would kind of, like, shake him to go back to bed, and he would calm down. Well, I wasn't getting any sleep.

[Burnt Miapede]

Right.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know, and it's like, I don't have babies anymore. I don't care to do that. I'm on shake duty. Right. So it was this. It's very big. You think of a regular snooze. Big and it would. It would just. If people don't know, a snoo is sort of like the Cadillac of.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Of.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Of cradles. That's pretty good, right? The Cadillac of cradle.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's pretty good, Joe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The cradle of the future.

[Burnt Miapede]

Do people know what a Cadillac is anymore, dear?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm not sure they do.

[Burnt Miapede]

I mean, I think they still make.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Did you have a grandparent in the 80s? That's what they drove. Now it's just what Escalades. That's a Cadillac, right? That's how they. That's how they would know it. It's just those big fat, black, cool looking cars that drive celebrities around. That's all it is.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah. That's all it is.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah. Tinted windows.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Wrappers.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

We've had to change the lyrics in the Rhubarb Caravan to pink Escalade.

[Burnt Miapede]

You've kept the crushed velvet seats though, right?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Of course, yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Did you also change it for when you do Aretha Franklin's Freeway? Because she sings for the freeway in a pink Escalade.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No one sings.

[Joan Pedestrian]

She says Cadillac in that one too.

[Burnt Miapede]

No one can sing that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I can sing it. Why can't I guess with you guys?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Oh, you can? Sure.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, are you telling me you've never had Joan do guest vocals for Rhubarb Caravan?

[Joan Pedestrian]

It always changes it subject be like, hey, could I sing you this week? And he's like, ow. Ah. And then like pretends his foot is hurting or. It's very weird.

[Burnt Miapede]

Even Desi Arnaz was more forthright than that with Lucy.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I mean, my foot was black and blue. I. I went to the emergency because.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You kicked it right into the. The kitchen island here.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Okay, but it did hurt.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The second I brought it up, it did hurt.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I wasn't pretending.

[Burnt Miapede]

Now all of a sudden you're acting.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Like it's no big deal and I can guessing with you guys. Well, I can't wait to. So anyways, we got him in adults new for a while. Just. It would. Oh, I was explaining what it is. You put the baby in there and it gently rocks them to sleep. And if they wake up, it rocks them a little harder. Now it. You can't, you know, go on for too long. It will stop if it. If the baby keeps crying.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's not like a washing machine.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It isn't, but his was because it kind of had a glitch.

[Burnt Miapede]

You didn't like my washing machine?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm sorry. It was really good. I'm sorry. I always want to honor impressions on this podcast and I, you know, What? I was only thinking of impressions of. Of humans. Impressions of appliances we haven't discussed yet.

[Burnt Miapede]

I don't. Look, I don't fanc myself a Michael Winslow, but I do my best.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Do people know who Michael Winslow is? If you don't know.

[Burnt Miapede]

If you're a certain person, this is a beautiful episode for you. You are in.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So anyhow. But that. It didn't work because his. He was. He was thrown out of it. It was terrible.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, no. Like the mechanical bull.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Thrown right out.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes. So, okay, we've got circle. That's as far.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

All right, circle, circle.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What are you using for the. You know, the snow? It always looks to me like. You know what it always looks to me. Oh, okay, wait. But is that going to. It always looks to me like the salt that comes on a big pretzel. You know what I mean? That's what I like to imagine is in there.

[Burnt Miapede]

Maybe hungry just now. I love those pretzels. I love the big. Those big, soft pretzels with the. Yeah, those jagged grains of salt.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah. That crack your teeth.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes. Crack your teeth.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Well, they're always clumped in one.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They used to, like, put on the.

[Burnt Miapede]

On the sidewalks, but sometimes they can pierce your upper palate for sure. Yum, yum, yum.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So what do you. How big is it going to be? Is it in the room and is it on a stand or is the entire room shaped like a circle? Do you know what I'm saying?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, so which is it?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I am King Kong size compared to the city or the.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This is not at all answering.

[Burnt Miapede]

This is a dodge. Another classic Doug dodge.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I don't think it is a dodge. You're asking for scale, right?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I am. Is there just. Is there a room that is square and then within it is a snow globe? How about that? Is that how it looks?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

The room itself is a globe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

See, this is what I'm building.

[Burnt Miapede]

A globe.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah, it's sticking out the back of the house.

[Joan Pedestrian]

How do you get into it if it's full of water? What does that mean? I know, I know. I'm with you. You're sticking out the back of the house. Talk about that more.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Babe, you're moving too fast for me.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know how we move on this show. You know how we move. You heard us with our guest. We need answers.

[Burnt Miapede]

This show is an Aaron Sorkin walk and talk down a hallway, Doug. And you better get. You better get on board. If you gotta run to keep up, then get a running.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, boy, those are fun. I love those oh, they're so much fun. They're so fun.

[Burnt Miapede]

He writes the same five lines of dialogue for everybody.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Picture a clear globe sticking out the back of the house.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah. Okay.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Almost like an airlock.

[Burnt Miapede]

So then it is in.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's like an airlock. Is this so people can see it walking by?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah. And so it rotates fully. You know what I mean?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, it does?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

And it is partially in a room.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah. So it's partially in a room, right?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I mean, it's in. It's its own room.

[Burnt Miapede]

How much of the globe is sticking out of the back of the whole thing? How it's sticking out?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Well, there's a hallway that kind of a short sort of hallway that interlocks it with the house.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So, wait, is this like a submarine situation?

[Burnt Miapede]

Like an airlock? Do you go, yes, I said airlock.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Maybe I'm moving too fast for you.

[Burnt Miapede]

Physicians, slow thyself down.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Did we get confirmation that you're gonna swim in it?

[Burnt Miapede]

We were mainly dealing with.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't know why we need the airlock.

[Burnt Miapede]

We were mainly dealing with the tech specs.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I know so far there's no water in it.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Thank God.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

The thing with a snow globe is you're not. You're not supposed to think that it has water in it.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I. There's never been a time. I understand that, but there's never been a time when I have been fully aware there's water.

[Burnt Miapede]

No. I guess I can't buy into illusion that much.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I'm learning about this now from you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Which water?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

There's water in those things?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Are you kidding?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I thought it was like an ethereal snow that kind of floats around, you know, when you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Babe, there's no way. You just thought.

[Burnt Miapede]

How did you explain the bubbles?

[Joan Pedestrian]

There's always a bubble on top.

[Burnt Miapede]

There's bubbles.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No bubbles.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Always a bubble.

[Burnt Miapede]

You're never. No, but you're the bubble.

[Michaela]

Hold on.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So, okay, how are you going to get the snow to move?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

How are you going to get very light packing peanuts?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Are we just gonna have a fan blowing on them the whole time?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Well, right now it just rotates a lot so that the. The. The packing peanuts sort of stay whipped up in there.

[Joan Pedestrian]

If you're saying without a fan.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I think what I'm saying.

[Joan Pedestrian]

A peanut cannot be so light that it just floats.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

A peanut can be so light that it never touches the ground.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Is this a haiku?

[Burnt Miapede]

It's beautiful. A peanut can be so light, but it never touches the ground.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

So there's a model.

[Joan Pedestrian]

My soul is at Peace.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

There's a model of dignity falls.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, wow.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Of course, you know that the snow falls on.

[Burnt Miapede]

And you are King Kong size.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

King Kong size for scale established.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Do you want to be King Kong? He wants to be King Kong in the snow globe on the Empire State Park. I thought it was going to be a Christmasy snow globe because of the season.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

It is.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, and King Kong, what do you think? A King Kong Christmas?

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, no, he's just saying for size, he's not. You're not dressed as King Kong.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I thought he was, but this is Doug we're talking about. So in his mind, you have to imagine he might be King Kong.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'm trying to make sure. Yes, okay. You're not dressed as King Kong.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I'm not dressed as King Kong. I'm King Kong's size. But I am behaving much like King Kong.

[Burnt Miapede]

Why?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Well, because I'm King Kong size. Wouldn't you.

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, why do you see what this.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Is what I'm saying? Every guy loves to be able to be in a tiny model of a city, and it's just this Rick shit. Wouldn't you stomp on, grab a lady with his hand?

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, my God. I'd stomp on. Absolutely.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What would you stomp on?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

That's what I've been doing.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'd turn him into jelly.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Then you want to hear. Want to hear what happens? Oh, they strap myself in because I don't have water. I guess that's the thing.

[Burnt Miapede]

What does that look like when you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So you've already played in this snow globe? Oh, he's doing some music box. I guess you can have a music box on the stove.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I've seen those. As it rotates.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's the sound of the room itself winding. Yeah, that ratchet sound.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yes. And then now I'm floating and it plays a little.

[Burnt Miapede]

Beautiful Joy to the World and the beautiful peanut. Now. Okay, let me. Let me ask you this in order. Oh. Are you okay?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Did you choke on a peanut?

[Burnt Miapede]

No. Did one get in there?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, my God.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, that's the worst.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Dangerous.

[Burnt Miapede]

My greatest fear, Opening a package and accidentally inhaling one of those peanuts.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And you're alone.

[Burnt Miapede]

And I'm alone. I'm throwing myself over a kitchen chair.

[Joan Pedestrian]

There's another reason to get married. It is?

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, I'm engaged, so.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I know. And how is that going? Let's give Doug a break for a minute because we really peppered him with.

[Burnt Miapede]

A lot of questions. Let's let him get his thoughts together.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, get your thoughts together. Get the peanut out of your mouth.

[Burnt Miapede]

Because I do want to know how fast the room is rotating in order to keep the peanuts in the air.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So. I know I keep asking you for a date.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, that's okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The last thing you said was. But, but, but we. What we are. Are you. How. What T minus are we at for you going and camping out for Christmas on the top of the Devil's Tower in Wyoming?

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, we're gonna get there Christmas Eve.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

And then we begin our ascent.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And have you done any kind of rock climbing ever?

[Burnt Miapede]

I mean, I've been on top of rocks, I guess.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. I'm not talking about, like, you know, two rocks at the park and you just climb them. I mean, this is major.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This is major. In fact, I meant to look at the stats of, like, if you can actually climb this thing, I'm gonna do it at the break. Yeah, because I don't. I, I, I meant to look that up and I didn't. I'm not sure that this is safe. In fact, I believe that Gabby can get everyone up there safely because she seems to be superhuman.

[Burnt Miapede]

Her family is, you know, I know. They're very experienced climbers.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Have they done it before they made this climb?

[Burnt Miapede]

Have they. Have they scaled up a tower? I don't. I don't know.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, I don't like that answer.

[Burnt Miapede]

I can't remember if they said they had done this many times or if they wanted to do this.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think there's a. You need to make that distinction before you leave.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay, then what do I do? I mean, it'd be so rude if I said I'm not doing it because you haven't done this a million times.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think maybe I'm.

[Burnt Miapede]

These are my future in laws, Joe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I understand. I understand.

[Burnt Miapede]

And there's a lot of them.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I know. There are. There are so many. What were you gonna say, babe?

[Burnt Miapede]

What? What's that?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Doug, do you have any special rituals on Christmas Eve? Like do you open a present, one present each, or do you have a special dinner?

[Burnt Miapede]

We open. We do have a special dinner.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

It's very special on your ascent.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, you're specifically.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You meant traditions for Devil's Tower or just in general?

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, you meant me and Gabby.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Traditions.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

You were gonna have to do.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, they have traditions that I now have to follow. I don't.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, he's.

[Burnt Miapede]

Someone rolling your eyes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes, you can hear it.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No, I'm.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And I think he shrugged. I think it was a double. I think it was a shrug in my. It was A Doug shrug, for sure.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Part of me just gave up. That's what happened.

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, hopefully the rest will catch up.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I think I was asking if there's.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's fair, because we have.

[Burnt Miapede]

Because nobody. Okay. We were just trying to get clarification on this question. And I don't know why you got so bad out of shape about it.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think he's upset because we didn't receive the news of the snow globe the way he wanted us to. We just immediately got into, like, the details of it, as opposed to just being so thrilled at the. At the. At the. You know, the sort of magic of it. All right. And he's also asking because we, of course, in the pedestrian home, have all sorts of fun traditions, and I think we were hoping to include you and Gabby in those. Oh, that's true. You know, every year we do Secret Santa, which is not. I know a lot of people do Secret Santa different ways, but in our case, it's every night. Someone in the family has to break into the house.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And whoever can't be detected.

[Burnt Miapede]

Right.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And. And has to leave a present behind and then take something else from someone. Like actually steal something. So they have to break in. They can't wake up anybody. They have to leave a present, take a present.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

And someone's on watch duty for the tree. You have to defend the tree at all costs.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's right.

[Burnt Miapede]

Someone's on tree wash. What does at all cost look like?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, because the boys added this to the Secret Santa tradition is that also you try to defeat the tree. And that's what they called it.

[Burnt Miapede]

Defeat the tree. Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm talking, of course, about my twin boys, Matt and Paddington 0. And Paddington 0. And so that became sort of the almost. It was almost like capture the flag. Right. That was almost their main objective, Capture the flag. What's that?

[Burnt Miapede]

That's from Halo.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

Killianaire.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I. You know, this is where I run into trouble because I just don't play video games. All the boys do, and they love Killing Spree.

[Burnt Miapede]

Every once in a while, Halo would say something to you. You. While you were playing the game. Halo's not a person. Oh, Halo, the game. So if you're playing.

[Joan Pedestrian]

If you're playing with terrifying.

[Burnt Miapede]

If you're playing with your friends.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

Every once in a while, the game would chime in.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, God.

[Burnt Miapede]

That. It was. Noticing how you were playing.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's terrifying. Imagine if you were playing Ms. Pac man when I was a kid and the machine just went, eat the cherries. I would have been terrified Pellet Spree.

[Burnt Miapede]

Hungry Hungry Pac man.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So. So that's Ghost Attack. And I figured that Gabby would be so good at this game because, you know, she like rappel down the chimney or she could sneak through, you know, one of the back doors or tunnel through the ground for Secret Santa and finally Show Matt and Pannington 0 that they got their. They've met their match, you know, so of course they've met their match many times. It always ends in a terrible fire.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's true. So tradition in itself. So. So the Secret Santa, it's chosen at random, obviously. You draw names from a hat or not draw names from a hat, but you draw. Draw straws. How do you determine who's the Secret Santa?

[Joan Pedestrian]

We fly wings from a snow globe. Weirdly, an empty one that broke a long time ago.

[Burnt Miapede]

Fly wings?

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

Fly the insect.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

You just have like a little dish of fly wings. Little ramekin.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This was, this was the boy's idea again. Of course.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's chill. That's chilling. I'm gonna say it, Joan. That's legitimately terrifying to get. To get enough wings.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know, it just becomes such a tradition to me that I don't see it's endearing. You know, I don't see it that way anymore.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

How are there enough wings? How did it get broken? How did it. How does the fly wing?

[Joan Pedestrian]

He's asking questions like a six year old, Doug.

[Burnt Miapede]

These are. These are legitimate questions.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, you know what he's trying to do? He's trying to. Yeah, he's trying to do what we did to him. Yeah, okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

He's trying to act like what we did was ridiculous.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's true.

[Burnt Miapede]

When it actually applies just as well.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Questions, Trying to prove a point. I get it. You be a good parent. Thank you. You're welcome.

[Burnt Miapede]

Could you imagine?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Listen, I'm not saying that especially in your earlier days, you were not fit to be parents since you were out all night vigilante cell trying crimes from.

[Burnt Miapede]

Happening in just such a man as a dad.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, now you're. You're. You're putting it in the light that where now I seem the fool, but you need to stay home for a child. You can't just be gallivanting all the time at night.

[Burnt Miapede]

Obviously I would if I had a child.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Have you and Gabby talked about this? Have you talked about this? She want a child? Yeah, we're.

[Burnt Miapede]

We're both kind of skeptical at this point.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. I feel like that's a no.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah, well, but we go back and.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Forth because what are your Pros and cons.

[Burnt Miapede]

Pros.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Cute, crazy.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Cons.

[Burnt Miapede]

Responsibility.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Only one pro.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, we boiled it down because we. We had these two long columns and we're like, let's just boil this down.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think you should just get a hamster then.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

So what about the special meal?

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay, but we never nailed down. Are you. Are you talking about Gabby's family that I am joining? Are you talking about me and Gabby?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Let's say, Doug, let's use sigh one more time.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna crack that globe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, no, not again. It was so dramatic the first time it happened.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Let me try to rephrase.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm talking about the broken glove that we use to pick the floor.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

What are you going to do on New Year's Eve on Christmas Eve as you ascend up. You know what I'm saying?

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah, you're. You're talking about what's going to happen this Christmas Eve.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I'm saying, are you preserving any rituals that you are doing on this Christmas Eve, Doug?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, you know what? I think actually we're caught in a loop and we got to get to our guest. And I want us to be in a good mood for when any ritual talk to him.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Do you have plans?

[Burnt Miapede]

So am I bringing some of my own rituals?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

To a scaling devil's Tower in Wyoming.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Rituals out of something that doesn't sit right with me about that.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes. I will be watching Year Without a Santa Claus as we ascend Devil's Tower.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Which one is that?

[Burnt Miapede]

It's the one where Santa Claus doesn't do it that year.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But you know who's in it. Give me a reference. I can't even think of it.

[Burnt Miapede]

I feel like that's the one with the heat miser and the cold miser.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, it's one of those like. Like stop motion.

[Burnt Miapede]

Sorry. Heat miser, Snow miser. I say cold miser because it should be cold miser.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I agree with you. I understand this. Okay, so I think how long we've been talking, babe. I do think it's time to take a break. And I think it's time to cool off. And off. Pretty.

[Burnt Miapede]

Pretty hot under the collar for a guy in a snow globe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Whatever you need to do. Okay. Let's take the temperature down. Let's peel off. Let's cool off.

[Burnt Miapede]

Hey. Oh, hey.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Truce.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Okay. Let's do a truce. Let's have a truce for now. Great.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

24 minutes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, then perfect. Perfect. Time for a truce.

[Burnt Miapede]

24 minute truce. We'll be right back with the Neighbor Listen. When the Neighbor Listen returns.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The wait is over. Dive into Audible's most anticipated collection, the Best of 2025.

[Michaela]

Featuring top audiobooks, podcasts, and originals across all genres.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Our editors have carefully curated this year's must listens.

[Burnt Miapede]

From brilliant hidden gems to the buzziest.

[Joan Pedestrian]

New releases, every title in this collection has earned its spot. This is your go to for the absolute best in 2025 audio entertainment. Whether you love thrillers, romance, or nonfiction, your next favorite listen awaits. Discover why there's more to imagine when you listen.

[Burnt Miapede]

Hello, this is Lynn. VHS tapes, mostly used, can be taped over. Many VHS tapes, free, seem to be used. Many boxes of new tapes previously donated to Goodwill, the one directly across from the DIY store on Apple and Old Digit. If you want to seek out new, unused tapes, those still in my locker appear to be used. I didn't realize that until today when people came to get some. They did take several boxes. There are many more. You can tape over them. Let me know whether you want some. There are many boxes of them available. VCRs pictured above are no longer available. They were taken today. I can't figure out how to remove the photo. I miss my. I miss my vcr. I like the sounds. I like pressing the buttons. Why can't we return to a simpler time? Memories press between the pages of my mind. Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen, Joan, it's that time of the the podcast show.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm sorry, the what now?

[Burnt Miapede]

The podcast show which people say it's time when we have a guest. Now, every week on the show, we comb the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods, and we look for interesting people in dignity falls to talk to. Maybe they want to amplify their message. Maybe they want to, you know, answer for some sort of thing they've been accused of. Who knows, Maybe they're looking for something and they want people to help. And this week is no different. Now look, if you see a post that you think we should cover on the show, why don't you screenshot it and send it to [e-mail] and I think this one was sent in by a listener. Let me make sure again, we have listeners, not fans. We do not want to presume ever, ever, ever. Yes, this comes from Therese Witkowski. Thank you, Therese.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Thank you so much.

[Burnt Miapede]

This is in the in search of section. And this person says, does anyone know or is selling slash giving rid of goats? Not miniature ones thought. And here to tell us more about that is Michaela. Michaela, welcome to the neighborhood.

[Michaela]

Listen, it's so nice to be here.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, thanks for being here.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Absolutely.

[Michaela]

I feel like I see you guys around town, and I'm always trying to wave, get a little bit more of your attention.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So it's just.

[Michaela]

It's so nice.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm so sorry if I've never waved back.

[Michaela]

Oh, no, no.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What other things have you done to try to get our attention?

[Michaela]

Well. Called your name.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh.

[Michaela]

Laughing right in that face.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, dear. I feel bad.

[Michaela]

Everybody's busy, though, right?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Everybody needs something. Yes, yes, yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

Have you also called my name?

[Michaela]

No.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay, Just joke. Okay. You're more visible than I am.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That is true.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You're behind all the boxes of snooze.

[Burnt Miapede]

In the pharmacy and cars, but you're on the stage. Are you a fan of Joan's stage work?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Huge. Oh, dear. That's.

[Michaela]

That's. I mean, our town celebrity.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, now that's nice. I would never say that myself. That's very.

[Michaela]

I will say it for you.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's very true.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, my goodness. How nice. Well, thanks. I'm so flattered. Oh, I'm blushing. Is that so weird?

[Burnt Miapede]

You're not.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Hello?

[Michaela]

I don't see.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Really?

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm not. Show. My cheeks aren't red. They feel so hot.

[Burnt Miapede]

No.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, no. Maybe.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Are you just saying that?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Am I coming down?

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, no. Joan has a fever.

[Michaela]

Oh, my gosh. I would be so mortified to have given Joan a fever.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, you can't. And don't worry, sometimes we just pop into Elizabeth McGovern's voice from Downton Abbey and the way that she talks. And we have a really fun time saying, fever.

[Burnt Miapede]

Fever.

[Michaela]

Upstairs, downstairs.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Yes, exactly. So, Mikayla, can you tell us about Gosford Park?

[Michaela]

What? Amen. Jane Austen.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Merchandivery.

[Burnt Miapede]

Wow.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

This is exciting.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This is a fun game.

[Burnt Miapede]

What do I say?

[Joan Pedestrian]

What do I say?

[Burnt Miapede]

Agatha Christie.

[Michaela]

Agatha Raisin. You guys ever heard of that?

[Joan Pedestrian]

No. What's that?

[Michaela]

Oh, it's a cozy murder mystery series about a detective named Agatha Raisin, and she lives in the Cotswolds. Cotswolds.

[Burnt Miapede]

Adorable.

[Michaela]

The Cotswolds.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Cotswolds. I don't know how to say it.

[Michaela]

Me either. But it's. Every time. It's like, Agatha Raisin, Murder of the Plant or something. And it's about.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's a child. Is this a child series? Cause that's what it sounds like to me.

[Michaela]

No, it's adults.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's adults. Are you sure? But Agatha Raisin says. Sounds absolutely like a very clever childhood. You know, like fake murder mysteries?

[Michaela]

No, no, no.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This mysteries.

[Burnt Miapede]

If you were gonna write murder mysteries for adults and you said the name of the character is Agatha Raisin, surely someone would say.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, no, exactly.

[Burnt Miapede]

Not really.

[Michaela]

No. Yeah, like the baker's dad. Okay, yes, close. So close. But wrong.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Try again, Bernd.

[Burnt Miapede]

The baker's dad.

[Michaela]

So anyway, that's a. Agatha Raisin is a British.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Is it a cartoon? Is it animated or live action?

[Michaela]

It's a book series.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's a book series. It's a book series.

[Michaela]

But they did make it into.

[Joan Pedestrian]

On.

[Burnt Miapede]

Get into. On.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Can I ask the BBC? Okay. Can I ask about the raisin of it all? Because why. That's her last name. I understand that.

[Burnt Miapede]

Joan does love it.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I understand that. It's her last name. That's the part I wasn't confused about.

[Michaela]

Okay, great.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Why is her last name Raisin? And is it supposed to be, like. You'd have to ask cousin of Agatha Christie. But the show.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, no.

[Michaela]

You know what we say in my house? Same name, different person. Same name, different person.

[Joan Pedestrian]

In what context do you say that at your house?

[Michaela]

Well, okay, I have.

[Burnt Miapede]

In what context are you saying it now?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I have fair. Fair question.

[Michaela]

Just about the Agatha.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, yeah. She was answering that question.

[Michaela]

Same name, different person. You know, when kids are like.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But it's not. But it's not the same name, is it? It's the same first name. Yeah, right. Why Raisin? Like, there's got to be a description at some point, you know, because it's so specific. I mean, you could choose anything.

[Burnt Miapede]

Is the other Agatha. Agatha Christie? Is that what we're saying?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes, that's why.

[Burnt Miapede]

Same name, different person, right?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes, yes. But I still don't understand. And there has to be. Raisin is such an odd last name. It is not discussed in the book at all.

[Burnt Miapede]

The other characters must say your last name is Raisin.

[Michaela]

Agatha Raisin.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's just.

[Michaela]

She's from the Cotswold.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Agatha Raisin seems to be. Let's let Agatha Reese. Let's leave her alone.

[Michaela]

But you know what? It's not for kids. I mean, she's has a crush on her neighbor. She.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's definitely at least a sexual crush on Peter Prune.

[Michaela]

Thanks. No burn.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But see, that's. Oh, no. Oh, she's not happy about that.

[Michaela]

You're digging on Agatha Raisin.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You're needling back at the Raisin. Peter Prune. That's the voice of my husband, Doug. Okay, good. You. You.

[Michaela]

I call him on the street, too, babe. You guys are busy, but See, he's.

[Joan Pedestrian]

In a different room. You can't see him. How do people recognize you, babe? Sorry.

[Burnt Miapede]

You called Doug's name but not mine. Okay, okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Just gonna get hung up on this. Don't get hung up on this. Burn. Don't read into it too much.

[Michaela]

No, there's nothing. It's just everybody's busy. I'm busy.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sometimes she's too busy to call your name.

[Michaela]

Sometimes I'm busy. Sometimes they are busy. I'm busy, you're busy.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know, everybody's busy.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah, it's true. Everybody's busy.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So. Okay, I don't want to get hung up on Agatha Raisin, but I probably. It'll come back around at some point. But let's get into. You were about to explain why it is you're looking for a goat.

[Michaela]

I have so many kids.

[Burnt Miapede]

Kids.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, how many? Not. Not baby goats.

[Michaela]

I have five, yet I have children.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Wow.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's a lot. That's a lot.

[Michaela]

And we just lost our nanny.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, dear. Oh, so sorry.

[Michaela]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What are the ages of your children?

[Michaela]

Four months, four years.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, wow. Fourteen.

[Michaela]

Oh, just two and.

[Joan Pedestrian]

A second.

[Burnt Miapede]

Four months.

[Michaela]

I decided 14 is the oldest.

[Burnt Miapede]

Four months, four years.

[Joan Pedestrian]

She decided 14 was the oldest.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

That's.

[Michaela]

We can't. That's.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You can't have any other older children beyond that.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

The ages again.

[Michaela]

It was four months, four years. 14. 2 and 6.

[Burnt Miapede]

2 and 6.

[Michaela]

2 and six.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And what are their names?

[Michaela]

Julie, Jesse, Jamie, John and Karen.

[Joan Pedestrian]

A Karen.

[Michaela]

A Karen.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Karen.

[Michaela]

We're working with her.

[Joan Pedestrian]

We're working with the family. Okay.

[Michaela]

We're making sure that she doesn't turn into that kind of Karen.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Yeah. Is it like a family name? It sure is. Is it a family name? Why did you name her Kare, if I may ask?

[Michaela]

Yes. It's a family name.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

All right.

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

You're not related to James Karen, star of the Poltergeist movie?

[Michaela]

I am.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What?

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

Wow. That was the guy who moved the.

[Michaela]

Headstones but didn't move the bodies.

[Joan Pedestrian]

See, I've never seen Poltergeist because I do not like scary movies.

[Michaela]

Oh. I saw it when I was way too young.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, dear.

[Michaela]

And it's a t. The TV one, right? Yes, the TV Poltergeist. Yes. Terrifying. I don't recommend it. I don't let my children see it.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Even though I've heard about the glam. Yeah.

[Michaela]

Even though it is part of our heritage, our ancestry.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right.

[Michaela]

We do not. I do not let them watch it. Not even the 14 year old, but.

[Burnt Miapede]

You could probably watch his Pathmark commercial.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You named Karen after him? Truly after him. Sorry, what's the relation?

[Michaela]

We're related.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

We're related. Cousins.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Cousins. Good enough.

[Michaela]

Cousin.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Cousins, related.

[Michaela]

Distant cousins once removed.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. All right.

[Michaela]

But listen, why I'm here is because we lost our nanny.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sure.

[Michaela]

And I have been interviewing everyone in this town and there is not a nanny in sight that I think could really encompass everything that I need. And I want to get back to nature a little bit. I want the kids to get back to nature a little bit. So I felt like maybe I hire a goat or find a goat, adopt.

[Joan Pedestrian]

A goat, hire a goat.

[Burnt Miapede]

And the 14 year old can't pitch in at all.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That was my very first question.

[Michaela]

That's the oldest, so they don't know too much, you know, beyond that. They only know what does that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Younger, but certainly they're old enough to know how to.

[Michaela]

I'm sorry, am I coming for you in your life?

[Burnt Miapede]

No, no, Please, Michaela. I'm just seeking to understand.

[Michaela]

Okay, great. So, yeah, the 14 year old, you know, they're a little. You know, they're. They love to play video games and they're in their own world. I don't trust a 14 year old.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I mean, goats are 14 year old.

[Burnt Miapede]

Which one is the. What's the 14 year old's name?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, I can't. I can't. I can't remember. Yeah, John, I think that's right.

[Michaela]

Does that seem right?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think that's right.

[Burnt Miapede]

It feels right.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It feels right. Yes. So I'm sorry, what would the goat do?

[Michaela]

Well, what don't goats do?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right? I think I need.

[Burnt Miapede]

Wow, Joan, you haven't seen that come true.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Goats can talk, dial 91 1, makes diapers.

[Michaela]

We have the 14 year olds. Right. The 14 year old can dial 91 1.

[Joan Pedestrian]

He can't do these things.

[Michaela]

Yeah, but not everything a goat can.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I feel like if you're a babysitter, all you need is dial 911, you know, food, make sure they don't die. That's all you gotta do.

[Michaela]

That's so simplistic.

[Burnt Miapede]

You're saying the goat is bad?

[Michaela]

That's the pros and cons list with one thing on each. No, no, no, no, no. Goats can give you milk. So there we go. We don't need somebody to drive us to the grocery store.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But that's such a process. I mean, is it not? I mean, just. You can't just. It's not like you're just. It's not going Up.

[Burnt Miapede]

Can't drink it straight out of the tea.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You can't drink it straight out of the tea. Thank you. I knew that. Uncomfortable about saying teeth bird. Thank you for saying it for me.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's not a great word.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's not a great word?

[Michaela]

No, it's not a great word.

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, you can't because I think it's dangerous.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Exactly. I think it is too.

[Michaela]

Because they could kick the baby.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They could kick the baby. I hope the baby's not just sitting around closely.

[Michaela]

The baby wouldn't be drinking from the tea to be like a six year old. The six year old.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I guess.

[Michaela]

But the.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But no one should be doing that.

[Burnt Miapede]

Six year old.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah, you.

[Burnt Miapede]

I. I don't think you want to put your child on mechanic wheeled slides.

[Michaela]

I just said I wanted to interview a goat to see about the possibility. I didn't say it's hired and it's done for.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, now I'm caught up on the fact you're gonna interview the goat. What's that gonna look?

[Michaela]

Well, I'm just looking. I said, is someone giving? Is someone looking?

[Joan Pedestrian]

No.

[Michaela]

Miniatures. I knew that that would be a problem. I need them to be taller than the babies.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's a good idea, I think.

[Michaela]

You know, I could put like a little bag thing on the goat and then put the baby in the goat bag.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm sorry?

[Burnt Miapede]

Put the bag thing on the goat. Put the baby in the goat.

[Michaela]

You know, like a donkey has like po on the side.

[Burnt Miapede]

Saddlebags.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, okay.

[Michaela]

I was thinking.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You're thinking the goat's just going to carry on. Are both parents gone? In these scenarios it's just a goat and the children. Can I ask what you do? You're married, I assume?

[Michaela]

I'm married.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. What are you and your husband? Husband. What's your husband's name?

[Michaela]

Corey.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Corey. What do you and Corey do that has you so busy?

[Michaela]

We are, we work for, you know, the big plant.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, you work for the big plant.

[Michaela]

We work for the big plant. So we work in the plant.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Can you tell us anything about the big pain?

[Michaela]

We can't talk a ton about it. So many NDAs. We are. I'm. I'm drowning in NDAs.

[Burnt Miapede]

Can you tell us what they, what they make there?

[Michaela]

You know, I can't tell you, but I can give you a. I can allude.

[Burnt Miapede]

You're allowed to give hints.

[Michaela]

I can allude.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

There's always that rainbow colored smoke coming out. Yes. Yeah, it's very pretty. Then there's the blood curdling screams that you hear in the middle of the night.

[Michaela]

Yeah, but we work during the day.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Day. I know.

[Michaela]

So we're. It's tough.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

We're always up at night with a scream.

[Burnt Miapede]

So you must have a hard time showing homes around there.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, I sure do. You can't. It's like. It's as bad as being around a cemetery. I mean, it's like you definitely got.

[Burnt Miapede]

To show them during the day.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, you absolutely do. Yeah. But then some people have requested to come by at night, and so then I just. I throw a huge party. I play music really loud. You throw a party, and I'm like, do you hire people to get there?

[Michaela]

How do you plan? How do you. How do you fill the house with people for the party?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Party? Well, you know, I have my ways. I am the top realtor. So what I do is, I'm like, you know, of course, if everyone knows. One of my deals is if you purchase a house from me, you get a discount off on, you know, tickets to my next show at the Disney Falls.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's right.

[Michaela]

Who knew?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Who.

[Michaela]

Who would want to get a discount?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I would pay full price. Come on. It's theater we need.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'm just. I'm just clarifying.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, you know, I make really great drinks, you know, So I just.

[Michaela]

You know, is it you and the. And the people that you're showing the house to or you bring people. It's.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Any clients who are. Pot. Yeah. And it's an open house. It's an open house, but I like to call them open raves. You know what I mean? So that's what I do. So we just go and we have a good time, and nobody hears the screams. But let's get back to what you might be able to tell us about.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'm so sorry. Can I tell you a very quick story about someone, a friend of a friend who is a realtor, and this really happened. This person got. This realtor got bitten by something, maybe a snake, maybe some kind of bug. And it caused a horrible reaction in her hand.

[Michaela]

Oh, my God.

[Burnt Miapede]

To the point where they had to. I'm sorry to say.

[Michaela]

No, no.

[Burnt Miapede]

Glove. Her finger.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What does that mean?

[Michaela]

What does that mean? D. Glove.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Not the skin coming off.

[Michaela]

She was wearing a glove, and they took the glove off.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Please say.

[Burnt Miapede]

If only.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Please say that she was wearing the.

[Burnt Miapede]

Glove she was born with. And they had to.

[Joan Pedestrian]

She was wearing nature's gloves.

[Burnt Miapede]

She was wearing nature's gloves. One of the fingers. Fingers of nature's glove. And then extract A poison sack that was growing inside her face.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No.

[Burnt Miapede]

And then.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm so sorry to our listeners, but.

[Burnt Miapede]

Here'S why I bring it up.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This one's. This episode's not gonna make fans of.

[Burnt Miapede]

Anybody because part of. Oh my God, you know what? Somebody's gonna be. I mean, it's almost a violent scenario which we've gotten request if you've been.

[Michaela]

Head by your listeners. Or violent scenarios.

[Burnt Miapede]

So everything was fine, but this person, the realtor, was required to hold their hand up at a 90 degree angle. Held it. If they just let it fall naturally, the pain would start.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh.

[Burnt Miapede]

And so they had to hold their hand up. And so they were showing houses.

[Michaela]

No.

[Burnt Miapede]

Walking around with just.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What you mean like an exposed muscly hand?

[Burnt Miapede]

No, no, this is after the.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right. You skipped some steps. I'm sorry, I'm still, I'm still back on nature's gloves.

[Michaela]

I'm still hoping.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They removed this sack, the poison sack.

[Burnt Miapede]

And then sewed everything back up and thank God.

[Michaela]

Can they use their finger again?

[Burnt Miapede]

I think at this point, yes. But they had to walk around with their hand up as if they were looking for a high five or had a question.

[Michaela]

Oh my God. But the last thing they wanted was a high five. Absolutely.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Exactly.

[Burnt Miapede]

Explain it very quickly at the outset of showing the properties.

[Michaela]

No high fives. I mean, I'd.

[Burnt Miapede]

No high fives.

[Michaela]

Put a sign around my neck.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah, exactly.

[Michaela]

If I were that person, I would.

[Burnt Miapede]

Put a sign that says, I appreciate the justice gesture. Please, no high fives.

[Michaela]

But please.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, that's not an explanation you can give quickly. I mean, you have to put a lot more on the sign to explain what's going on.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I had a poison sack. Is that what you said?

[Burnt Miapede]

What?

[Michaela]

What were they doing that they got bit?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah. Were they guard house?

[Burnt Miapede]

They were by a pool and they were reaching for their jacket in the grass.

[Michaela]

No, no, no.

[Burnt Miapede]

It happened just like that.

[Michaela]

Could happen to anyone.

[Burnt Miapede]

Anyone.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I got trapped in a panic room once that I didn't even know existed when I was showing the house.

[Burnt Miapede]

I bet you were panicking.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Absolutely.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's the opposite of what's supposed to happen.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know what? I just slept for a week. It was so crazy.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, that sounds peaceful.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

It was.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So everybody's busy. Nice.

[Michaela]

I haven't slept in 14.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No one even noticed.

[Burnt Miapede]

You haven't slept in 14 years?

[Michaela]

I have a 14 year old.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, so wait, that's the point. You're saying since you had your first child, you've never had a. A single. You can't have. You can't.

[Michaela]

No, no, of course. You have winks here and there. I've had wings. Winks.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Winks.

[Michaela]

You have winks.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

Of course. So.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, so let me. Let me. Let me rewind a little bit. Let me rewind a little bit to the big plant. Is there anything.

[Burnt Miapede]

Rewind.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Way to go, bird. With a Hamilton reference. Oh, I love it when you do that. Love it when you do that. Okay, so can you tell us anything about the big planet?

[Michaela]

I can tell you.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, you can allude to things.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah. What can you allude to?

[Michaela]

Okay. Okay. I can allude to a cane.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Come on.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay. Cane. So many things. Sugar, candy.

[Michaela]

Is there gold?

[Joan Pedestrian]

He's like objects in a board.

[Michaela]

Gold. And two grandparents who are in the same bed.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, do you know what? I was already thinking this when I heard cane.

[Burnt Miapede]

My first thought. My first thought was candy factory.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Really?

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Mine was Monopoly. For some reason.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Reason.

[Michaela]

They sounded like.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sounded like objects for a boardwalk.

[Michaela]

For right next to the. We're right next to the board game plant. But we're the.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But they're not mysterious at all. So that's why.

[Burnt Miapede]

I suppose it wouldn't they just scream during the day?

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know, when the.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Can I say my cane?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Your cane?

[Burnt Miapede]

Sure.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Do you mean like. Okay, say your.

[Burnt Miapede]

Say your cane. Say with your whole.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Can I speak my cane?

[Burnt Miapede]

Speak your cane, Doug.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Let's hold space for a Doug's cane.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

For CSI Miami, Horatio Cain. Whoa. What?

[Burnt Miapede]

Joan, I. I'm not pointing. I'm asking you to hold my finger because Doug is. We're holding space for Doug.

[Michaela]

Well, I thought there was. You know what?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Denature's Glovester has me so freaky. I thought there was. You pointed out my arm like there was a bug on it, and I was terrified. I was about to have to take my skin off from the elbow now because I'm wearing a short sleeve shirt.

[Burnt Miapede]

Just so you know, if that were the case, I wouldn't just silently point like that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, we were recording. I thought you were trying to be professional. Okay, put your finger out one more time and I will Ariana Grande. Still grab it.

[Burnt Miapede]

Thank you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

There we go. All right. Okay. Go for it.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Oh, I actually did already say it. I'll just trust that the listeners.

[Michaela]

I heard it.

[Burnt Miapede]

Wow.

[Michaela]

I heard it, dad.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'll just trust that the listener heard.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Listen, we're not keeping things chill, babe.

[Burnt Miapede]

Mikaela, could you tell us what happened?

[Michaela]

Yeah, tell us what happened. NCIS Miami.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm sorry, that's his cane. Nick Kane.

[Michaela]

I'm Sorry, I wasn't listening that hard. I was listening.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I was like, will anybody hold space for my cane?

[Michaela]

You.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What? Can you tell us again what it was, babe?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Horatio Kane from csi.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Who is that?

[Burnt Miapede]

Who is Horatio Kane? David Caruso.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I didn't watch that show. I know.

[Michaela]

The sunglasses.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

The great Italian actor.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Didn't he have a bunch of ridiculous, like, catchphrases and stuff? And he. And he used a cane.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, his name was.

[Michaela]

His name was Kane.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

My. What is happening?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm still. I'm still like, my. My. My heart's still returning to my chest because I was afraid there was an insect on me.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Right?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I was truly. No. Do you know what? When I saw the rainbow smoke the first time, I was like, oh, it's kind of. It's a little bit chocolate factory ish, you know? But the screams are what made me think, well, that can't be the case, but. All right, I don't want to push you any further on it, but you both.

[Michaela]

Not everybody likes you candy.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's very true.

[Michaela]

So some of the, you know, I mean, I can't say too much, but some of the taste testers.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Are they testing candy on children?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No.

[Michaela]

Oh.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's way too hot.

[Burnt Miapede]

And they dislike the candy so much that they emit blood curdling screams.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This is.

[Michaela]

Listen, I don't work the night shift.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But I definitely checked them all in.

[Burnt Miapede]

I don't like peas, but I've never screamed about it.

[Michaela]

These people are taste testing. Actually, I can't even.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What?

[Burnt Miapede]

You shouldn't. We don't want to get you in trouble.

[Michaela]

But all I'm saying is, if you were at my house. House. And we had you in a chair and we blindfolded you.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Oh.

[Michaela]

And we said, which one of these do you like? Okay. On a scale. And you tasted something you didn't like, maybe you'd let out a little blood curdling.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Maybe. Maybe if it was ice cream.

[Michaela]

You don't like ice cream because we.

[Burnt Miapede]

All scream fresh cream.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's right.

[Michaela]

Oh, wow. And that's why she's the most famous celebrity.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm not sure that that should be.

[Burnt Miapede]

The reason she gets her name called out on the street. So, Michaela, let me ask you this. Selling, Giving rid of goats.

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's a.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's an interesting choice of. Of friends.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Because you don't want to pay for them. Is that why?

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Do you not get paid?

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, okay, I'm gonna read it again.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

I know what you're gonna say.

[Burnt Miapede]

Does anyone know?

[Michaela]

I Know what? You're calling me out.

[Burnt Miapede]

Does anyone know or is selling slash giving rid of goats?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Have you Selling slash, selling slash giving rid.

[Burnt Miapede]

Giving rid of.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Listen. Oh, giving rid of. I'm dealing with brain put in the word getting. You know how that.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay. There's another part to it though. Does anyone know we're going to get rid of the. Or is selling giving rid of. Does anyone know goats?

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's true.

[Michaela]

Okay, I have five children.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Right.

[Michaela]

Have you ever tried to write on the door app? What are we called? What's it?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, on the neighborhood app. Yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

The door app is a different app.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It sure is.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

Oh, right. The Doors.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, it's just all the doors that are open at the moment in dignity falls at any time of day.

[Burnt Miapede]

Eric.

[Michaela]

I don't know.

[Burnt Miapede]

I don't know.

[Joan Pedestrian]

From the band.

[Michaela]

Maybe he's in the band.

[Burnt Miapede]

He's a keyboardist for the Doors.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, for the Doors.

[Michaela]

Sure. I've heard. So I put this listing up on the Doors app. I got nothing.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sure. Cuz that's not what it's for.

[Michaela]

It's not what it's for. I put it up on this neighborhood app and it is go. I. I get calls all day long, but that's what we were at rare.

[Joan Pedestrian]

We never get people who are receive any activity. So what are they saying? Can you give us an example of what these people are saying?

[Michaela]

I'm giving, I'm ridding of. I'm selling.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's giving goat.

[Michaela]

It's giving goat. Giving goat. It's giving goat. I wrote that when I was in charge of five children.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know, this is fair. I understand that it is so hard to like take a sentence when you're watching children. I get it.

[Michaela]

And I had my 6 year old write that listing.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, okay.

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. So before you, you're pretty good actually. Pretty good. Pretty good.

[Michaela]

I was pretty impressed with Karen, huh?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Good for Karen.

[Burnt Miapede]

Karen. Six year old.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So. Well, any. Any people that you're interested in? I mean, how's it going if you got shifting through.

[Michaela]

I have so many applicants now to interview.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's what Abigail Raisin. Not Abigail.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, that would be ridiculous.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Agatha.

[Michaela]

Agatha. Same name. It's same as Agatha Christie. Same name, different person.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The slot of leads is what she always says, right? Yeah, that sounds like something she'd say. I don't know. I haven't read this series.

[Michaela]

Yeah, I have so many interviews. Oh, now.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Are you interviewing the goat? What would that look like? Are you interviewing the goat? I'm interpreting.

[Michaela]

No, I'm interviewing The goat. But I'm not a crazy person.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

I'm not asking the goat questions.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, good. It's good to hear out loud.

[Michaela]

But I am having the goat sniff around. I am seeing how the goat interacts with the children, especially the form of month old.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And how has it been going?

[Michaela]

We've had some. It's been touch and go.

[Burnt Miapede]

Some people, some goats that almost touch.

[Michaela]

Met the criteria, and then some that extremely do not.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, extremely do not.

[Michaela]

You don't want an angry goat around your children.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, I guess I don't want your goat around me.

[Michaela]

You have to meet a goat to see their temperament.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's true.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, I understand.

[Burnt Miapede]

You can't just take somebody's word for it.

[Michaela]

No, no. But then I call their owner and I do get the reference. You know, you have to check referen.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, so the owner's not present for this?

[Michaela]

No, no, no. Because I don't want the owner to influence our relationship.

[Burnt Miapede]

Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So can I ask, do you have other family that's here in town?

[Michaela]

No, that's why I need a goat.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sure. But I also feel like I'm not just some babysitters don't, like, don't classify themselves as nannies. Some people are just babysitters. And. And I think nanny sort of implies a little bit more than just. It's almost like a Mrs. Doubtfire situation that you're expected to cook and clean. But have you checked high. Local high school gals who would love to babysit and would not really charge a lot?

[Michaela]

Another kid in my house.

[Burnt Miapede]

Wow.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I know, but this again, I think. Sure. But I think you're not trusting like teenage girls, especially teenage girls desire to, like, make money, you know, so they can buy fun stuff for themselves. They would. They're very quiet. They're very good at it.

[Burnt Miapede]

She doesn't want another kid in the house.

[Michaela]

And that's kind of my hard. That's my hard and fast rule.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I told.

[Michaela]

I told Cody that when he was trying to have another kid, I said, I don't want another kid in the house.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh. Whether it comes out of or in through the front door.

[Michaela]

Cody.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I thought Cory. His.

[Michaela]

His first name is Corey and his second name is Cory.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Cody.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, Corey Cody.

[Michaela]

Oh, nice. I'm sorry, I.

[Burnt Miapede]

What's his last name?

[Michaela]

I'm Michaela. Cody.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh. Oh, okay. So his name is Cory Cody.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's his second name.

[Burnt Miapede]

And sometimes you refer to him by his last name.

[Michaela]

You don't call your. You don't call your significant other hey, Willis. Yeah?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I've never called Doug pedestrian. I mean, it's my own last name, so it's very weird every once in a while. But those for special. Whoa.

[Michaela]

Oh. It sounds like it's for less of.

[Joan Pedestrian]

A. I only do it. I only do it if I've made corn, and he loves that. Then it's like I'm announcing two different things, you know? Like, I've made corn and I want him to come down, and that's fun.

[Burnt Miapede]

I do call St. Benedict sometimes.

[Michaela]

Is that her last name, Gabby? St. Benedict.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't think I knew that. What was he the patron saint. Saint of?

[Burnt Miapede]

He is the. He is the patron saint of exorcists. Oh, this is true, by the way.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't doubt it.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah. He is the saint you invoke against demonic possession.

[Michaela]

Wow.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

All right. And that's her last name.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

That's a heavy. That's a heavy name to walk around with.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Now I understand why there's lots.

[Burnt Miapede]

She's quite. She's quite a woman.

[Joan Pedestrian]

She sure is. I've seen her around town, so. Okay, so I just. I guess what I'm hoping for is that there's a solution in between nanny and goat.

[Michaela]

Why?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Why, Joan?

[Michaela]

Why?

[Joan Pedestrian]

There's gotta be something more ideal.

[Michaela]

Joan, I have told you I like.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The idea of the goat.

[Michaela]

They're not on the phone.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't. I'm honest with you. I think that this is chaos and a terrible act of waiting to happen there.

[Burnt Miapede]

Are you assuming goats can do this because of the phrase nanny goat?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, have you ever seen.

[Burnt Miapede]

Shh.

[Michaela]

I've never heard that phrase. And also, have you ever heard of Peter. Peter Japan?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes, I sure have.

[Michaela]

There's a dog named.

[Burnt Miapede]

So why not a dog?

[Michaela]

You know what? Dog shed.

[Burnt Miapede]

Do we know for a fact goats don't shed?

[Michaela]

We don't know. But we do know that we can use goats fur or hair to make sweaters for the babies.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's true.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, you get.

[Michaela]

We're talking clothing the babies. We're talking feeding the babies, talking weeding the garden. They eat weeds.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, they do. I'm going to say this.

[Burnt Miapede]

I don't think there's recycling tin cans.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think it's a great idea to just have a goat around. You can get a lot of things from a goat, and that's. A lot of people have goats. That's normal. They don't watch the children, though. They've never been used to watch the children, as far as I know.

[Michaela]

Well, goats have babies, of course.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They can watch their own goat babies. Not human babies. They watch their goat babies.

[Burnt Miapede]

You don't think it's transfers?

[Joan Pedestrian]

You don't think they put their goat.

[Michaela]

Baby into a saddle bag on the side of the.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Of them?

[Burnt Miapede]

And you've never seen Dionysus, one of those.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sorry, what?

[Burnt Miapede]

You've never seen one of those Instagram reels where it's like, you know, some animal adopts another animal of a different species?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Love those.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes. But it's really the only time that people think it's cute when, like, a primate does that is through thick glass at a zoo. And like, an orangutan is looking at a baby. Like, and what's. Now, if that glass wasn't there, believe me, the mom wouldn't be holding the baby close to that.

[Michaela]

Joan, there's no way. Not a reckless mother.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I feel like that is what you're. I'm trying to stop you from becoming.

[Michaela]

Throw my baby over the glass wall at the zoo.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I mean, I thought you could.

[Burnt Miapede]

I don't think she said anything then.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Kate, she's going, I don't think I did. Well, no, I don't think she did either. What I'm saying is, I think that.

[Burnt Miapede]

She raised the question.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Hiring a goat would become reckless. Your household would become reckless.

[Michaela]

Well, you know what? I. I am not just going to hire them. I'm going to bring them in as part of the family.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know, that's exactly what. I don't want it in the house. You can't have it in the house.

[Michaela]

Well, I'm gonna have them do their business outside of the house. I'm not gonna have a goat.

[Burnt Miapede]

You're gonna house train this goat?

[Michaela]

I'm gonna house train the goat. And also, you know, maybe you said your husband is in some sort of globe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

How is it going, babe?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Oh, yeah. So maybe I get something like.

[Michaela]

Would a goat work in that, Doug?

[Joan Pedestrian]

No.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I would love to have a goat anywhere. How about anywhere in my life?

[Joan Pedestrian]

What? Really?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah. I love those things.

[Burnt Miapede]

Even a minute miniature one.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't like them. They have strange eyes.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Especially a miniature one.

[Burnt Miapede]

Can we get into them?

[Michaela]

Oh, I can't. No, no, no, no, no.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah. What is it about miniature goats that you.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

What?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Because she doesn't want the goat to be taller than a baby, right?

[Michaela]

No, I want the. I want.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, that's why you don't want.

[Michaela]

I want them to have a little bit of authority. The kids are just gonna jump on that goat and ride them around. If it's a miniature.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think they're gonna do that?

[Michaela]

Take advantage.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I have to tell you, they're gonna do regardless.

[Michaela]

A tall goat versus a miniature goat.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I also have to speak up for the goat here. I'm not even sure this is healthy for the goat. You know what I mean? I think this might be the goat.

[Burnt Miapede]

I forgot to care about.

[Michaela]

You know, when. When I have a nanny over.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Forget about the goat. Save the goat.

[Michaela]

If the babysitter's staying for dinner, I give the babysitter pizza. If the. If the goat's around, the goat gets. Gets food too.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You say pizza, you're gonna take pizza to the goats?

[Michaela]

I think goats eat anything.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

If the babysitter were there, we give the babysitter pizza with the kids.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Michaela]

I'm not gonna give the baby pizza.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Jonah. No. I bet you're coming.

[Burnt Miapede]

Joan.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm so. Okay. I don't know why I'm getting all sorts of side eye about this because it's not my idea, and I'm trying to stop it from happening because I don't. I think there is a solution in between those two, like I said. Okay, but what other solution?

[Michaela]

I don't want another kid in my house.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I understand.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Why don't you get a BabySitter who's like 24? There's plenty of them. There's college students.

[Michaela]

Their brains are barely finished developing.

[Burnt Miapede]

I think the human babysitter is a no go. Let me ask you this, Mikayla. How were you raised?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, what a great question, Bert.

[Burnt Miapede]

Thank you, John.

[Michaela]

You know what? I was a latchkey kid, okay? I didn't have a goat. I didn't have a babysitter. I didn't have an orangutan putting me to sleep at night. I didn't have those Lux trays.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Do you have six?

[Michaela]

No.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You were an only child.

[Michaela]

Only child.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

To a latchkey. To a latchkey family. A latchkey parent.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm wondering, what does latchkey mean for you?

[Michaela]

For me, it means you unlatch the key, you unlatch the door, you unlatch it, and the kid can come and go as they please because.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right. Yeah. You're independent.

[Michaela]

Independent, huh? And I don't want my kids to have to be independent. I want them to be able to lean on that goat.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, I'm not. I'm not sure that that helps teach them, you know, survival skills.

[Burnt Miapede]

I. I think you should want your children to be independent. Admitting I'm not a parent.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sure.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

But isn't that good?

[Michaela]

To be independent?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, it. I think it's really, in the end, very good for them, you know, because if they just, you know, she's really considering. She's really not sure.

[Michaela]

Oh, I don't know.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, great.

[Michaela]

Listen, a little bit of independence is fun. A lot of independence.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, it's all about moderation. Right. It's all about a balance. You want them to have a little bit of everything.

[Burnt Miapede]

Dangerous. In what way is this from personal experience?

[Michaela]

Of course.

[Burnt Miapede]

You had a dangerous level of intelligence.

[Michaela]

A dangerous level.

[Burnt Miapede]

How did that manifest itself?

[Michaela]

I started riding a motorcycle at the age of four.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Now how was that allowed? Where did your parents get the keys?

[Michaela]

So they gave me their keys. And then they gave them to you? Because I was latchkey kid.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sure.

[Burnt Miapede]

They leave for the day and just hand you the keys?

[Michaela]

Yeah, so I could get back in after school. And their motorcycle key was on the.

[Joan Pedestrian]

How are you able to balance very young? It takes a lot of balance and that motorcycle's very heavy. As a four year old child. How are you able to even do that?

[Burnt Miapede]

Four year olds go to school.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sometimes if they're. If they're on the cusp.

[Michaela]

Yeah, you know what? I was on the cusp.

[Burnt Miapede]

Greatness.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, four years.

[Michaela]

I like to say four year olds.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Can be in pre K. Yeah. You know, it's when you're born. They go from when you're born. Or tkk. Dk.

[Michaela]

Same thing.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It pretty much is.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

Well, I homeschool.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, so then it doesn't matter. So why did you need to drive to school?

[Burnt Miapede]

You were homeschooled?

[Michaela]

No, no, I homeschool my kids.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, while also working at the f. The plant?

[Michaela]

Yeah, I'm busy.

[Burnt Miapede]

You're homeschooling the kids, but you need to go home.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Are you homeschooling them on Zoom from work?

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, I don't know about that.

[Michaela]

Covid changed everything in a positive way.

[Joan Pedestrian]

In a positive way. Okay.

[Michaela]

Because it just opened up. Zoom Free.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Zoom Free Zoom.

[Michaela]

I don't even have to pay for it.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So. So then who puts your. When do you get home from.

[Michaela]

I get home at 7:30.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. So you're able to have dinner with them and you put them into bed?

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So at least they have that.

[Burnt Miapede]

Do you know you're telling me shift?

[Michaela]

No.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well then what's he doing?

[Michaela]

Cory?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Cody.

[Michaela]

He's got to sleep during the day.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, no, no, no.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Absolutely not. Here it is. Absolutely.

[Michaela]

I don't want those knots to even tap, tap on that door.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Oh, no.

[Burnt Miapede]

You think a goat is the solution?

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, Bert, I'm sorry. I'M gonna stop you there. This is not the issue.

[Michaela]

I had.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Let him out of bed, for God's sake.

[Burnt Miapede]

By having an animal with hooves. I don't. I don't know if that's what you would.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I hope we're gonna put little shoes. You need a husband. I'm sorry. I'm gonna insert myself a little bit into this relationship. He does not get to sleep all day. He sleeps all day. If there's something wrong, you haven't had any sleep. This is unfair. This is. We don't.

[Burnt Miapede]

We don't have all these.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm so is.

[Burnt Miapede]

Does Cory Cody work the night shift at the plant?

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

He works a short night shift. Just a real short night shift.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I knew it. I knew it. A short. What is a short night shift?

[Michaela]

He leaves the house at 9.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

And he gets back around 1. It's a short night shift.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's like as long as someone goes out to a bar. What is wrong with him? Oh, no, no.

[Michaela]

He couldn't possibly go out to a bar. He tells me he goes to work.

[Joan Pedestrian]

He tells you he goes to.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

To work?

[Burnt Miapede]

Wait, so you.

[Michaela]

You are looking at me like I'm crazy?

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, I think he's crazy. Why is he using the phrase. Why are you using the phrase he tells me he goes to work? Have you not seen him? Have you have not gone to work?

[Michaela]

No, because I don't Over.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right. But there's got to be evidence of him. And maybe there's a Christmas party. Exactly. We both go to that and no one brings it up that like our.

[Burnt Miapede]

Spouses allowed at the Christmas party.

[Michaela]

Plus ones.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, you're both employees, so why wouldn't they both be allowed at the Christmas party anyways, at the big plan.

[Burnt Miapede]

Could you excuse me one moment? Sure, sure.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Of course.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I understood. Burnt there.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Don't point at my shoulder again.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'm not.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, Your face.

[Burnt Miapede]

You have to understand this. I'm trying to determine if he really works there.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I get it. I get it.

[Michaela]

Is this coffee machine?

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know what? We're good cop back. We're good cop, bad copy.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah. So when. At the Christmas party?

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

How do people talk to him? Do they talk to him in a familiar way?

[Michaela]

Well, you know what? I'm not normally with him at the Christmas party.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Why is that?

[Michaela]

Well, I'm, you know, I'm working the scene. I'm like. I'm helping with some of the refreshments. And he always kind of runs right to the bar.

[Burnt Miapede]

They make you work right to the bar.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You're Working the Christmas party for the employees.

[Michaela]

Is that not.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think I feel bad for you. No, I think it's just you used to being a mom and having to do everything. I don't think that anyone would actually complain.

[Michaela]

A goat.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, no. Let's stay with this line of questioning. Burn. Stay with this line of questioning.

[Burnt Miapede]

I, I.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Has anyone. Would you. Can I. Can I Now play. When you get to the party, has anyone said. Said, who's this? You know, and you're like, it's my husband.

[Burnt Miapede]

Great question.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And they act confused.

[Michaela]

Everybody knows Cory. Everybody knows Corey. He's a man about town.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right. But at the party, has that ever happened?

[Michaela]

Has anybody asked me, who is this? To my husband?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right to you.

[Michaela]

Because we're. To me. You know, we're holding hands.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sure.

[Michaela]

When we walk in.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay.

[Michaela]

And I think people.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Do they say hi to him. Did they say, hi, Corey, this is.

[Michaela]

The friendliest plant you could ever work. Work at.

[Joan Pedestrian]

These aren't the answers to the questions, though. She just answers. Yeah, she answers. Okay, statement.

[Michaela]

I hear you. I hear you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Okay.

[Michaela]

Yes. One person. One has asked, who is that?

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's not enough to prove our point.

[Michaela]

One person has asked that.

[Burnt Miapede]

Damn. I really had my hopes on that.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

So close.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What would Kane say here?

[Michaela]

Well, babe, she wasn't murdered. Murdered. It's not like we're finding him.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I know, but it's still.

[Michaela]

You're.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You're an investigation.

[Michaela]

Your investigation.

[Joan Pedestrian]

A little bit, yeah. What is Abby? Why do I want to call her Abigail? I'm gonna start a kid's book that's called Abigail.

[Michaela]

Now, that's.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What does Agatha Raisin say when she thinks that she's close to solving a crime? But she doesn't.

[Michaela]

Oh, my God. I honestly have, like, a catchphrase. She probably does, but I haven't. You know, she's kind of a cranky old fraud.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know what?

[Burnt Miapede]

She's an older lady.

[Michaela]

Oh, yeah, sorry. She's. She's a senior citizen.

[Burnt Miapede]

I should have guessed.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think she should say grape nuts when she. Yeah, like, instead of odd nuts, but it's grape cuz raisin.

[Michaela]

You know, she has tea a lot. She could say, oh, biscuits.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, biscuits is cute. Oh, remember, she's in the Cotswold.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Sorry.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Grape nut.

[Burnt Miapede]

What if she has an idea? Like, she's.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

She.

[Burnt Miapede]

Something occurs to her. She's like two scoops.

[Michaela]

Of raisins.

[Burnt Miapede]

Two scoops.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I got raisin brand. Right?

[Michaela]

Like the commercial.

[Burnt Miapede]

Two scoops of raisins and kill.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Michaela]

I think raisins. I think Oatmeal.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Really? Oh, okay. I don't care for raisins in my oatmeal. I'm gonna be honest.

[Michaela]

What do you put in your oatmeal?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I put. Well, I love raisins in my pasta. And I put olives in my oatmeal.

[Michaela]

Oh, no. I'm so sorry. I just threw up a little. I'm so sorry. Do you have a rag or something? I just threw up a little bit.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, people did. I can see it leaking out of the box.

[Joan Pedestrian]

She did. Here.

[Michaela]

Oh, this is more.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Here's the tea towel. Here you go.

[Michaela]

This is more.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Take this tea towel.

[Michaela]

Thank you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Are you okay? Can we continue on?

[Burnt Miapede]

Tea towel came from PBS because you donated in support of the Veronica Oatmeal Show.

[Joan Pedestrian]

She's the only one that supports the olive recipe.

[Michaela]

And so you start with a savory breakfast. I understand.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I can't understand. You understand?

[Michaela]

Yeah. And you know what? I'm going to leave a long.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I was the only person who donated it, by the way, in that entire. I was the only one.

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

In that block. I ran the phone banks. The second block, which was really fun. I really enjoyed it.

[Burnt Miapede]

Sounds like fun.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Just so you know, we're all actually talking to people up there. We're not just making it.

[Michaela]

Wow. I thought it was a little bit of a show.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's not. It's really not.

[Michaela]

Wow.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Michaela]

It's fun to see behind the curtain sometimes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Always. So I'm sorry. Let's get back to your deadbeat husband. Husband.

[Michaela]

Oh, boy. I don't know if I. He's a little sleepy.

[Joan Pedestrian]

He's maybe going to work. Fine. I take it back. I don't know this person. I apologize to Corey. What's his name? Corey Candy. Corey Candy. Cory Cody.

[Michaela]

Trouble with the plan.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm not. I'm not. I apologize to Cory Cody, but at.

[Burnt Miapede]

The same time, confirmation.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I believe Cory Cody needs to wake up. Okay, fine. It's not. I believe he needs to wake up and help. Well, he does help.

[Michaela]

You know what he does.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, okay.

[Michaela]

He does help.

[Burnt Miapede]

What does he do?

[Joan Pedestrian]

She keeps saying it.

[Burnt Miapede]

He's a very defiant.

[Joan Pedestrian]

There's no evidence.

[Michaela]

He has set up all of the bills to be automatic payments on my credit card.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Absolutely not.

[Michaela]

Automatic payments on my credit card.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Absolutely. I don't. That is not helping. Not helping. Also, why doesn't he just pay them?

[Michaela]

We get. We do it through my credit card.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

This is.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I have.

[Michaela]

He doesn't have a credit card.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Like. This stinks. This stinks to High heaven, as my mom would say.

[Michaela]

What?

[Burnt Miapede]

I have to say.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but I. Come on, back me up here.

[Burnt Miapede]

Mikayla, it does sound like your husband is taking advantage of you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Correct.

[Burnt Miapede]

I don't think he works at the plant.

[Michaela]

What?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think there's a possibility he thinks.

[Burnt Miapede]

He'S going out to a bar.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I do, too, probably.

[Michaela]

What? No, bar bars are. What?

[Burnt Miapede]

There's no reason.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Bars close.

[Michaela]

Bars close earlier. I'm sure.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No. Have you never been to a bar?

[Burnt Miapede]

They actually closed later.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, they close later. That's their thing.

[Michaela]

So you're saying he goes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's their whole thing.

[Michaela]

You're saying he goes to a bar and he leaves early?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Burnt Miapede]

And then the idea of him needing that much sleep. I would think at the very least it was a medical issue, if not just a lie.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Michaela]

Well, then I need the goat to watch the kids.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You don't need a goat. You don't need a goat. You need a hug. Husband. Okay. And that would be my final.

[Burnt Miapede]

Girl. You need a man.

[Michaela]

I'm sorry, I'm not gonna.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I thought you were gonna.

[Michaela]

Thought you were implying I marry the goat.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Why would I imply that? Although he'd probably help you out a lot more than your husband is. But I'm not saying that's a reason to do it. I have a frank conversation with your husband in the tiny window that apparently the two of you are at home and he's awake.

[Michaela]

So I'm being used.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes, it does seem that way.

[Michaela]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You've done it. Yes.

[Michaela]

Nobody's ever told me this before. How have I just walked around? Dignity falls on. On Eucalyptus Ave. And nobody's ever stopped me.

[Burnt Miapede]

Is it because you're too busy screaming people's names and people are trying to get away from you?

[Michaela]

I certainly am busy.

[Burnt Miapede]

We're all busy.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Always. We have. And I understand you are the busiest right now. And you know why? Because you're doing all the work and you don't need to be doing that and you shouldn't be doing that. Let me just ask.

[Michaela]

Does your husband. Husband, like, cook meals and stuff?

[Joan Pedestrian]

He does. He absolutely does. Now I had to get him to get on the bandwagon of starting to help because for a while he was just always playing with the kids. He was always doing bath time. But, I mean, like, he was taking a bath in the other room, so I would have to go get bubbles in his.

[Michaela]

He was in bath.

[Burnt Miapede]

He would announce that it was just bath time.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes. So he would have his bath. Kids would have their bath. And I was like, no, we're not doing this anymore. And you use more toys than our kids do. You know, like think about that.

[Michaela]

Wouldn't it be cute if you're, you know, Doug's taking a bath and your kids are taking a bath and a goat comes in, uses a teeth and.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Just pulls a really little one out of the tub. Forget about the coat. No, what I did is I went.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

In and goat soap.

[Burnt Miapede]

There's goat soaked by the hair. You're saying that it would be cute if the goat used its teeth to pull the child out by the hair.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm so sorry, Burn. But can we address this? There's goat soap.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

There is indeed.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What is that mean?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I've never been sure. But there is good soap.

[Michaela]

Yeah, from the milk.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Here's what happened. I see. So not soap for the.

[Michaela]

And I'll save money on soap.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, listen to me. What I did was I went into the bathroom where Doug was taking his bath. I, I, I, I lifted up the drain, all the water started sucking down. And he put his hands on it. Cuz he loves that sensation. And I said, no, you are. I said, no, you are getting out right now. Here's a towel. You're finished finishing bath for the kids. And when we made a list of other things that we were gonna do, you know, that he was gonna do. You're gonna drive them to school. Finally.

[Burnt Miapede]

Three kids sitting in just an empty tub.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, no, he didn't know there they had. They were not all in the same bath. All right. Doug was in his own bath. The kids were in their own bath.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, I understand.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And I didn't take the water out of the kids tub. Only out of Doug's tub.

[Burnt Miapede]

I, Okay, I was imagining a different scenario where Doug. There you go for himself. And then said I'll.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, I feel the bath for Doug. Because he said he could never get it just right.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's on you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, I'm latchkey kid.

[Michaela]

I didn't grow up with a family like this. I didn't have examples. I didn't have parents. All I needed.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Let me be an example for you. I'm another mom. Okay, I get it. I don't as many kids as you do. Can we come live with three? No.

[Michaela]

Cory owns the house.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What? What?

[Michaela]

How will we put it in his name?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh boy.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't know how that worked.

[Michaela]

He set up every single bill as an automatic payment. You think I could have the time to do that?

[Burnt Miapede]

I want to ask you a question, McKill. And I think you have to really think about this answer because I have a feeling I know what it is.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

When Corey Cody is sleeping and he's not to be disturbed, does anybody go in that room? Do you ever go in that room?

[Michaela]

Nobody is allowed in that room.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay. I don't think he's in there.

[Michaela]

Oh, what?

[Joan Pedestrian]

God, yes, of course he's in there. We're not even checked. And you. It looks like there's kind of like a lump in the bed.

[Michaela]

Well, there's he is a lock on the door so that we don't. So the kids don't get in there.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This is just makes me mad now I'm just mad.

[Michaela]

Should I be mad?

[Burnt Miapede]

You should be.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes, you should be furious. You should be furious. Forget the goat right now. You need to. You need to that door and have a real conversation with your husband. I'm sorry.

[Michaela]

Would you guys come with me to my house? I don't think I could do this alone. No, because you got to go do your rock climbing.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You can do it.

[Burnt Miapede]

You can do this. I have my own life.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But at me.

[Michaela]

Cuz your girlfriend likes rock climbing, so you're rock climbing.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You can do this. Okay, and then what? I. What?

[Michaela]

I. I'm just trying to say we all, we all give allowances for our spouses.

[Burnt Miapede]

You know, My girlfriend is more than a rock. My fiance. Excuse me, I'm sorry. Is more than a rock climber. She is a smoke jumper. So she saves lives and trees.

[Michaela]

Yeah, okay, well, I didn't know the full story and that's fair. And you, your husband's in a snow globe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So I'm just trying to get the wealthy. Fine.

[Michaela]

Okay. Okay. So I'm trying to know what's okay and what's not okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't know if you want to get involved in this, Kayla.

[Burnt Miapede]

Here's what's not okay. Having a husband who saddles you with five children and then does nothing to help. He has no job. The house is in his name.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You guys are just saying to you job.

[Michaela]

You're saying that he's lying. Have you ever met my house husband, Cory Cody?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't think anybody has, remember?

[Michaela]

Yeah, I, I, he is about as charismatic as that Willy Wonka man.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Wait a minute. What do you mean? Why are you bringing up Willy Wonka?

[Michaela]

Just because I like that book, the plan. I didn't know that. I didn't.

[Burnt Miapede]

Are you eavesdropping on this?

[Michaela]

I think we're all whispering at each other other's ears.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I didn't say that.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Does Corey wear the shiny coat? The shiny sport coat?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Of course.

[Michaela]

Of course. He always dresses.

[Burnt Miapede]

Wait, you know he dresses? For years.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, I'm asking if he wears, what, like a top hat and a shiny coat?

[Michaela]

Well, he dresses, but now.

[Burnt Miapede]

Now I think you're just. You're.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Well, there's a guy who comes into DTF some nights.

[Burnt Miapede]

The Disney Falls Tavern.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah, we call it DTF.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Tavern Falls.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They were drunk when they put the sign up. I mean, this is why.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

Oh. Oh, gosh. Yeah.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No, but, yeah, he's fun. He's a fun guy. He walks in.

[Michaela]

Oh, you know Cory.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah. It's like a disco ball almost.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, now I know that guy. Yeah, he hogs a golden tea.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, boy. Michaela, I need you to promise me that you're going to try to go home and have a real conversation with your husband whenever you do see him. And I just want you to remember. Remember that. You should be mad. You should be furious. This is well within your. Your power to do. You are fully deserving of. Of help at home. These are his children, too. And I. I don't. I don't really know what else to say except for we wish you the best of luck because you need to turn things around here. I appreciate. No goats. No goats.

[Michaela]

I'm gonna say I have already set a couple of appointments for today, and I'm not gonna cancel last minute, but I will just go through this, and then I'll. And then I'll put it directly.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Courteous. Put it to rest.

[Burnt Miapede]

Here's my advice. Yes, I'm gonna say at 9:01pm Change the locks.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Good one.

[Michaela]

Burns the locks.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Good one.

[Burnt Miapede]

And you, don't say a word to this man. Don't let him back in the house. He is taking advantage of you. He's a creep.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Wow. Okay.

[Michaela]

You know what? I'm gonna just sidebar with a couple other people who also have families and just assess.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm pretty sure they're going to agree with you.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Really?

[Michaela]

You know what? Now that we've all really hung out, are you going to say hi to me out in the city?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I. If I hear my name, I promise I will do my best to keep my ears out for it. I will say hi to you.

[Michaela]

Okay. Thank you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And what. Here's what I want to have happen. When I say hi to you. I want you to come over to me and say, hey, Joan, guess what? I kicked that bum out.

[Michaela]

Well, I thought you said it. Well.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Okay.

[Michaela]

No promises.

[Joan Pedestrian]

There's Two things I want to say.

[Michaela]

You're right. No promises.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I want you to either say I kick the bum out because he's not helping, or I want you to. To say Corey did a complete 180.

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, you know that's not going to happen.

[Michaela]

And. Hey, are you. Are you whispering?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Let's try to have.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, that's okay for you to hear.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's not going to happen.

[Michaela]

Oh, okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. I want one of the two things to happen. My point is, I want to know that. I want to be told that you did something about this situation. Okay.

[Michaela]

And if I hire a goat, will.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You be mad I told you to. Yes, I told. I'm mad right now.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Why not do all of that?

[Joan Pedestrian]

And I'm mad in the future. I'm mad right now.

[Burnt Miapede]

I don't know if this is the time.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Time. Yeah, but we gotta let her.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Why not all the above?

[Michaela]

Which.

[Burnt Miapede]

Which also hire a goat.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, no.

[Michaela]

You know what? Because I like the sound of that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, God.

[Michaela]

Okay, Doug, give me the address to your snow globe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm. The address. We. We have to go. Michaela, I really hope everything works out for you.

[Burnt Miapede]

I hope so, too.

[Michaela]

I think it's already all working out. I think you guys are just getting a little hysterical.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's not.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

You're like.

[Burnt Miapede]

Is miserable.

[Michaela]

All right, well, we'll check back in. In one year from today.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sounds good.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You heard it here, everybody.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's a date.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's a date.

[Burnt Miapede]

All right, well, Michaela, thank you so much.

[Michaela]

Thank you for having me.

[Burnt Miapede]

Best of luck to you. We'll see you in a year.

[Michaela]

One year.

[Burnt Miapede]

We'll be right back with Neighbor Listen when the Neighbor Listen returns.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Hello, everybody. This is Goldie. I am selling a double burial pl lot in Dignity Falls Memorial Park. As you can see, it's gone from 13,000 to 8, 500. It's a steal. Buy one, get one practically free. That's right. It's a burial bogo. It is in the park. It's located in the back of the property in a serene and peaceful location. I am selling this because. Because my husband of 50 years has now decided to leave me. He is. He is 85 years old, and he is leaving me for. Are you ready for it? An older woman. And so I don't need this anymore. I'm just going to be cremated and. And. And. And just set right out to sea to just be with the dolphins, who I love when I go. I also included this picture of a bench that says Garden of Innocence. And our little Angels with zero context for you to wonder about if you have managed to stay together so far. Congratulations. You did it better than I did. Now you can stay together forever. So contact me. Goldie. Thank you.

[Burnt Miapede]

Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen, that was bleak.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It really was. And I'm sorry that that happened on our Christmas. Well, what would essentially be our holiday episode.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes. This is a Christmas episode. Yes. December 23rd. Is this released? Merry Christmas. Of course.

[Joan Pedestrian]

If you celebrate it. If you celebrate it.

[Burnt Miapede]

If you. Do you know what? Merry Christmas. If you don't celebrate. It's a federal holiday.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, boy.

[Burnt Miapede]

Right. Sure. I mean, if you.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Not everyone is into it.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, but it's still the reason you get the Don Day off. So. Merry Christmas to everyone.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Do you ever say Merry Flag Day to people?

[Burnt Miapede]

No, because I don't think anyone says that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, maybe we should start.

[Burnt Miapede]

And guess what I would bet more people don't do on Flag Day. Don't celebrate Christmas in some way anyway. Of course. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah. So you're gonna leave now. Here's what I looked up and I found a little bit of information. Now, I don't know if this is stuff that you already know, but I guess it is a popular, traditional climb. It's called crack climbing, which I'm imagining is. It's got a lot of cracks in the side of it, so that's where you can stick your hands and your feet. Do we think that's what that means?

[Burnt Miapede]

I hope that's what it means.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I hope that you guys registered because everyone's got to register and get a permit.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'm sure they've registered. I'm sure they've gotten a permit.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And there are some difficult routes. The. The one that is popular is the Duran route.

[Burnt Miapede]

That sounds familiar.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You're gonna. Okay, Great. Good.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, wait, that sounds familiar because I remember people. I think they refer to it in her family as the baby Path.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The baby.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, I see. They like to take the harder one.

[Burnt Miapede]

I guess so.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. So. All right. Yeah. Durance.

[Michaela]

Well, here.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Do you want to hear the different. The different routes?

[Burnt Miapede]

Sure I do.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. The Durance route. It's the most popular and easiest way to the top.

[Burnt Miapede]

D U R A N C E.

[Joan Pedestrian]

D U R R A ANC Okay. Yeah. The Walt Bailey Memorial. It's known for its excellent sustained hard and finger. Hand and finger cracks. Someone named it after.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's called Memorial. I. That doesn't sound good.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Assembly line. Two pitches of flawless hand and finger cracks leading to the peak. Flawless hand.

[Burnt Miapede]

Flawless hand and finger cracks. Duda, Duda.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know, I. I don't see. I. I just think flawless hand and finger cracks as. Not as a bad thing because I don't want those on my hand glove. My nature glove. My nature's glove. I got there eventually.

[Burnt Miapede]

You sure did.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And the last one I think you're gonna like. El Craco Diablo.

[Burnt Miapede]

El Craco Diablo.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's also the name of a popular dish you can eat at the bottom at the base of the mountain. It's incredibly hot.

[Burnt Miapede]

Bean dip, got excited. Sound good?

[Joan Pedestrian]

A classic hand fist crack route.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, they'll be cracking hand over fist.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It does say here that, that because a lot of people love to do this at Christmas. There are Christmas Christmas crack carols that they sing for you at the base of the mountain and at the top of the mountain.

[Burnt Miapede]

Wow.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Okay. That.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay, this I know about, that's bringing.

[Joan Pedestrian]

A little holiday magic into this.

[Burnt Miapede]

This I know about because Gabby was. Was me with a harmony.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

For one of these Christmas Christmas crack carols. And I was just going to sing like the baseline kind of, because I can only sing the one note.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes, that's right.

[Burnt Miapede]

Let me see if I. If I'm off book right now.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

Here he comes. Father Christmas of the mountain. Put your hand in his crack and crack onto the top. Merry Christmas to all. Put your hand in his crack. That's all I got so far. I'm trying to figure out what note.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Is that would match with it. I'm trying to figure out like what melody line would have that under it. Because I'd love to play it. So what are the lyrics again?

[Burnt Miapede]

His crack.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, try, try again. Harry Cup. Put your hand in his crack for.

[Burnt Miapede]

The Christmas of the mountain. Let's just do.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Let's just try. Let's just try. Put your hand in his crack. Here he comes. Is that the way the song starts?

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes. Here he comes. Well, how is Here Come Santa Claus start? You know what I mean?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, here we go. Ready? 1, 2, 3. Put your hands in his crack.

[Burnt Miapede]

That was. Was gorgeous.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, that's great.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's gorgeous.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And then what's the second part?

[Burnt Miapede]

What's the.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Father Christmas of the mountain?

[Burnt Miapede]

Father Christmas on the mountain. Put your hand in his crack. Crack on to the top.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Right, but sing Father Christmas of the Mountain for me. I mean, I know it's the same, but I just need to hear the.

[Burnt Miapede]

Here he comes. Father Christmas of the mountain.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, so let's start from the beginning. One, two, three. Put your. No, no. Put your hands. Let's Start from the beginning.

[Burnt Miapede]

Not the beginning.

[Michaela]

I thought.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Put your hands in his crack is.

[Burnt Miapede]

No, it's not junk.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm sorry. Okay. I'm just learning this. I don't have any sheet music. Nothing.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay. Starts with Here he comes. Father Christmas of the mountain. Put your hand in his crack.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, okay. So do Here he comes again for me.

[Burnt Miapede]

Here he comes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

And then Father Christmas of the mountain.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Okay, let's go then. I got it. 1, 2, 3.

[Burnt Miapede]

Here he comes for the Christmas of the mountain. The mountain.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Put your hand in his crack. And to all a good night.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's love. I can't wait. And of course, you know, with Gabby's entire family, everyone's singing parts. It's going to be wonderful.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So I love a good crack carol.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'm glad I can contribute. All right, well, before we go, we have time for one last post. This is a great one for Christmas. This is in the crime and safety section. It comes to this. This is a. Submitted by listener Turner Walston. Thank you, Turner Walston. This is a post by Lula. Lula's headline, sexual Circus. Lula goes on to write, warning. I am astounded by what me and my son experienced at Garden Bros. Human Gone Wild Circus. Free children's tickets were sent to my mailbox and I thought it would be a fun family outing. Not only was it $60 per adult and $20 parking, but the tent was about 100 degrees, I'm assuming temperature. When the show started. 8 women in high waisted thongs front and back came out and danced sexually to Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They listed that whole thing.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

The full title of the song.

[Burnt Miapede]

Full title. Then some dirt bikes came out and they got on the backs of them with their bo. With their butts in our faces. It was so wrong to do this to children. Needless to say, I was infuriated and left immediately. Expressing my anger to many of the staff on the way out and spoke with management. They do not offer refunds for their over sexualized show. After some research, we found that this business has eight failed circus business. And this is their last attempt.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh my goodness. Wait, I need to look at the beginning of this.

[Burnt Miapede]

This is the Hail Mary.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It really, really is. Garden Bros. Humans Gone Wild.

[Burnt Miapede]

Humans Gone wild.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sorry, I just. I just want to know what she thought it was going to be. Now I'm not saying that it's obvious that it was going to be sexual, but to me that does not sound like it's. For children. From the very beginning, I get that the word circus is all a parent hears and they go, I need something to do with my kid.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Did she say how old the child is? No, but it doesn't matter. That's definitely inappropriate. It's inappropriate.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's inappropriate. But if I heard heard Humans Gone Wild, I would assume it was some kind of stunt show, you know what I mean?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, but I'm just thinking which the.

[Burnt Miapede]

Presence of the dirt bikes I think confirmed.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Fine, but what I'm thinking is they didn't want to say Girls Gone well, because they couldn't. So they said humans Gone Wild and let's face it, it is just girls. Well, I guess. And the dirt bikes. But. But the go if there are any.

[Burnt Miapede]

Men wearing high waisted thongs.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I don't think it was go wild part to me is the red flag, okay. Because I've only associated with Girls Gone Wild.

[Burnt Miapede]

That's right. But then if you're Humans Gone Wild and you think, well, this can't be.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The same thing, but also the word bros, that's not for children.

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, it's brothers probably.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Of course that is a problem because now all children call adults bruh. Oh, it's the grossest. It's so annoying. Oh yeah. Little kids, even six years old, they're like, bruh.

[Michaela]

Really?

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's a thing now? It's what. It's what children call adults.

[Burnt Miapede]

What does it sound like when a six year old does that, bruh? What would be the context?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Anything.

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, but I mean, like, what. Give me a scenario where. Okay, this would happen.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Whoa, whoa. That's really cool, bruh.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's kind of adorable.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So yeah, I think. What's her name who posted.

[Burnt Miapede]

Sorry, Lula.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Lula. Listen, I think that there's. Here's the problem. There's just so before the Internet, I can see her making this mistake, but like these days, if you want. If you want to be a parent who's not surprised, all you gotta research. Put. Put that title in, Go to Yelp, go to Reddit, and someone will tell you this.

[Burnt Miapede]

Look it up right now.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh yeah, do it. Okay, great. Garden Bros. Garden Bros. I mean, that's just. I will say that throws you off a little bit.

[Burnt Miapede]

TV show.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It does.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

It does also get the title of the song right. It's Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Oh, won't you please take me Ho.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Exactly. Ho.

[Michaela]

Wo.

[Burnt Miapede]

I have an update on the Garden Bros. No kidding. Their Latest outing, Garden Bros. Nuclear Circus.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, no. Oh, God. I don't even want to know.

[Burnt Miapede]

Nuclear Circus, the largest circus on earth just got bigger.

[Michaela]

Oh, God.

[Burnt Miapede]

This year, Garden Bros. Brings your family, your family, two unique circus adventures. One bold and action packed, the other inspiring and magical. They still have humans gone wild there. I think they do. Garden Bros. Nuclear Circus. Humans.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This is just terrible.

[Burnt Miapede]

And look at the little cartoon ringmaster. There's. They're not preparing people for what this is at all. Nuclear Circus.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And looking at the bottom it says makes a great Christmas gift.

[Burnt Miapede]

Garden Bros. Nuclear Circus delivers a fast paced modern circus experience that pulls families in from the start. Kids kick things off in the kids fun zone. Packed with clean, supervised inflatables, slides and bounce houses. When the show begins, the energy explodes. More than 60 performers from around the world rotate through a five ring layout that gives every seat a great view. Also, the pacing is tight. The talent is real. And every act keeps the execution.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The talent is real.

[Burnt Miapede]

There are zero pictures of the performers.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Of course there aren't. Of course there aren't.

[Burnt Miapede]

But look at these happy kids.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That is AI.

[Burnt Miapede]

They got their faces painted. They got their phones out to capture the magic.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's AI. Check. Does one of them have a goat hoof?

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, yeah. One has 18 fingers on one hand.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Oh. Do you think it's like that? That story from a few years ago with the. The Chocolate factory tour and it was just a couple. Remember that? It was just the worst experience ever for people.

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, yes, they did.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

The sad Scotland.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes, the sad Oompa Loompa Loompa.

[Michaela]

That's right.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

I thought you had the Chocolate factory tour that happened here in Dignity Falls. It was like. That was 17 years ago.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Which is not connected to the big plant. Or is it? I don't know.

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, it makes me wonder because I feel like the plant sprung up overnight. After that. There were several deaths.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Several.

[Burnt Miapede]

And they were all chocolate related. It gave death by chocolate.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Some were allergies, of course. Some were hot chocolate.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

One was an execution with a chocolate guillotine.

[Burnt Miapede]

Nobody imagined it could actually be that sharp because it was chocolate. But it worked.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Worked. It's a dark chapter. We don't want to talk about it. It's the Christmas episode, for God's sakes. Hey, how's your. Speaking of. How's the. How's the globe going, babe?

[Burnt Miapede]

How's the globe going, babe?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

It's going pretty good. It got kind of stuck around 30 degree angle. So I'm just sort of 30 degree angle.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yeah. So it was. It was. I assumed it was going round in a. In a circle.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's what it sounded like. Because he had the music.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No, it's twisting all around upside down. Down because you got to get like a gyroscope.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Is that what you have?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Like a gyroscope?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, gyroscope. I didn't say gyroscope.

[Burnt Miapede]

I don't think she said gyroscope.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's not what it is. I don't know what you think that is.

[Burnt Miapede]

What is a gyroscope?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

That's what I heard you say.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, I said gyroscope.

[Burnt Miapede]

Does it.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Does it like a gyroscope?

[Burnt Miapede]

Chai.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Chai latte? Yeah. No, now you're talking.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, God. I. Doug loves. Are you hoping that this is going to be one of those things where. You know, Doug has always wanted to create a holiday decoration? Decoration that people crowd the neighborhood for. Right. People do drive bys and everyone gathers to watch it. Is that why you built it on the side of the house? And you want people to come and.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

See Beautiful holiday, neighborhoody.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think you're at that appropriate age for a dad where you just really want that kind of attention and, you know, some sort of viral thing with it. But here's the. Okay, so are you going to fill it with water? I never did.

[Burnt Miapede]

You know, it's interesting because so many of the contestants are battling cancer.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, my God.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's a weird. That comes up a lot. Or somebody has just died and it's just a.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's just a competition of Christmas lights. And what is just fast forward channel. Okay, This, I think, is the testimonials. Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

You don't need to see these people's.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Lives, but is there. Is there. Are they happy? Do they get happiness from it?

[Burnt Miapede]

This seems to be their sole.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, well, you know what then? Good, good. And this, this globe right now seems to be Doug's sole source of happiness.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

So I think it's great.

[Burnt Miapede]

You are going to fill it with water.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I. I don't think I need to. I think if it just whips around fast enough.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But how fast is it going to get the peanuts to go in the air, babe? I don't understand. And can you tell me specifically. Can you tell me specifically what this. What the. What the sets or the scenery is in the. Is it Empire State Building? I think I missed that part and I apologize. You did well, because again, what I'm usually thinking of is what's happening to my house right now. And Then I sometimes the description. So it's Dignity Falls.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Right.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And it's supposed to be covered in snow. Meaning you're going to be in there. What are you going to be dressed as?

[Burnt Miapede]

Oh, great question, Joan.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Thank you. We know it's my king.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

That is a good question.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Like an elf. Like Santa.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah, Yeah, I think I can.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Like a Santa.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Just a festive. A festive outfit.

[Burnt Miapede]

You know, a festive outfit. What is that? What is that? What does that mean to you?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Ornaments hanging off of you. Yeah.

[Burnt Miapede]

Okay, so like a tree.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah. Maybe like pine needles.

[Burnt Miapede]

So you can address like a Christmas.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Sure. Maybe pine needles, but more like a pine man.

[Burnt Miapede]

Pine.

[Michaela]

Pine man.

[Burnt Miapede]

It's like Groot, but with Christmas ornaments on it.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Yeah. By the way, have you ever seen the. The goat that says goat.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Did you ever see that?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No, it's my favorite.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I've seen the one that screams in the Taylor Swift. Swift song.

[Burnt Miapede]

Yes, I've seen that one. Have you been thinking this. This whole.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I think he. Are you going to play it for us right now?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Play it for you, cuz. I just love it.

[Burnt Miapede]

Great.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

He sounds like he has a Scottish accent.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

And he's. And he says the word goat. Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

Babies.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay. Maybe it helps to have a visual because we don't have a visual.

[Burnt Miapede]

Really?

[Joan Pedestrian]

It sounds like a baby. I really wanted like goat. That's what I wanted.

[Burnt Miapede]

Picturing something like that.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I. I guess. Sure, sure. It sounds like something being run backwards.

[Burnt Miapede]

Person recording.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This is having a group she's have a great time for.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

That was a good one.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It's like when people listen to our podcast and hear us laughing. Well, they're having a great time.

[Burnt Miapede]

Well, I mean, you know, you gotta laugh.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

You have to admit.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You sure do.

[Burnt Miapede]

Life is hard.

[Joan Pedestrian]

It sure is. And. And so why not build a snow globe?

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm not the build snow globe. I think that you should put water in it, because I don't. I think that will.

[Burnt Miapede]

If you want his little.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Listen to me. He does have scuba equipment he's never used and he's always wanted a reason to.

[Burnt Miapede]

I don't think that's a good enough justification for this. I think you're asking if you want.

[Joan Pedestrian]

People to come and see it. That's what you got to do because that's going to really get people here. I'm trying to support his dream. Right. It was on my vision board for this EP for this season, and it was to. We didn't talk about this one. It was to support one of Doug's vision So this is the one.

[Burnt Miapede]

Aren't you worried that his dream is your nightmare?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Sometimes I don't feel very supported.

[Burnt Miapede]

Wait, I just told you.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

You don't think a spinning globe. Gyroscopic globe with me as pine man over, a perfectly recreated dignity fall set is enough.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Fine. Babe, here's my question. Are you.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Are you not entertained?

[Joan Pedestrian]

What? Oh, boy. What happens. What happens when you go upside down? Are you just getting knocked around the globe?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

No, I'm strapped in.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Do what?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

To the. The floor? To the town. Much like King Kong.

[Joan Pedestrian]

And how fast are you spinning?

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Very fast. To the point of, you know, throw up sometimes.

[Burnt Miapede]

So it's not really. Doesn't sound like a snow globe anymore.

[Joan Pedestrian]

To the point of throw up. So people are going to come for the holidays and you're going to see a man in there. Just.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

You're going to see a tree man.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Side of the snow glob coated with vomit. Nothing says the holidays like that. Boy, oh, boy.

[Michaela]

Well, well.

[Joan Pedestrian]

So maybe we should revisit this. I might have to support another drink.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

I'm fine with water.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, good. Let's do that. It sounds better than the. The alternative. Well, Happy holidays to everybody. If. If you're into it, Merry Christmas.

[Burnt Miapede]

If you're not into it, Merry Christmas.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You want to give us a nice. A little ho ho. A Santa burnt.

[Burnt Miapede]

Absolutely.

[Joan Pedestrian]

A little Christmas message.

[Burnt Miapede]

Getting to do it for the kids.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That's right. That's right.

[Burnt Miapede]

So here we go.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What do you want to say to them?

[Burnt Miapede]

Boy, you only beg if I'm. He's darling that need food.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, I think that's good. And what. What is it again? What's the crack line again? From the song, from the carol. What is it again?

[Burnt Miapede]

Here he comes. Okay. Father Christmas of the mountain.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Just the last part.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Put your hand.

[Burnt Miapede]

Put your hand in his crack.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, and how does it sound again, again at the end. Put your hand is crack.

[Burnt Miapede]

Put your hand in his crack.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Okay, let's.

[Burnt Miapede]

Let's take him out with that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Okay.

[Burnt Miapede]

Here from the beginning.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, okay. I can't remember what I did for the beginning. I'll try.

[Burnt Miapede]

Here he comes. Father Christmas of the mountain. Put your hand in his crack.

[Joan Pedestrian]

He cut us off like a choir drink.

[Burnt Miapede]

I'd like it nice and crisp. Nice and crisp at the end. Well, happy holidays, everyone. From your friends here in dignity fall. We'll see you. Is this where.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, we'll see them on the right. Before New Year's Eve you will be back and we will get to hear about how it went with Gabby, you'll get to tell us the tale. All the tale can't wait.

[Burnt Miapede]

Goodbye.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Burnt Miapede]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me Paul F. Tompkins and me.

[Doug Korn Pedestrian]

Nicole Parker and me Brett Morris.

[Joan Pedestrian]

This episode's guest was played by Talia Tavin.

[Burnt Miapede]

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going. Vrbo's Last Minute deals make chasing fresh mountain powder incredibly easy. With thousands of homes close to the slopes, you can get epic Pow Freshies, first tracks and more. Find Last minute deals with the Last.

[Michaela]

Minute filter on the app.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Book a private vacation rental [e-mail].