The Neighborhood Listen – “The Strider Bike Fugitive” with Waleed Mansour

Release Date: December 9, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively episode of The Neighborhood Listen, hosts Burnt Miape Day (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), and Doug (Brett Morris) dive into the weird and wonderful happenings of Dignity Falls. The main thread follows a peculiar crime post about a “Strider bike” thief, leading to a freewheeling interview with the fugitive himself (played by guest Waleed Mansour). Along the way, the trio launches into hilarious side discussions about radio DJs, axolotls, failed business ventures, and the strange social dynamics of their fictional small town.

The show’s tone is irreverent, deeply silly, and full of improv comedy—moving at a brisk pace between absurd local stories, ongoing character bits, and ultimately a story about chaos, regret, and a semi-professional wrestler on the lam.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Neighborhood App Post: The Strider Bike Thief

[29:38; 31:19]

• The core post: A man, described as wearing hospital scrubs and a “neck brace,” stole a child’s pedal-less Strider bike from a carport. The authors submitted a photo for identification.
• The hosts riff on whether the “neck brace” is actually a neck pillow or towel, and debate the visual evidence.

Memorable Quote:

"If it's a neck brace, this neck is in bad shape."
— Burnt, [32:16]

2. Interview with the "Strider Bike Fugitive": Omaran (Guest Waleed Mansour)

[32:26–76:48]

Omaran's Story Unfolds:

• Who Is He?

  • Introduces himself as Omaran, also known by his wrestling persona “Ho Malone.”
  • He’s quick to say, “Can we all just have bad days sometimes?” [33:29]
  • Admits outright to the theft: “Yeah, I am him...I did take that bike. And it was necessary.” [33:12, 34:43]

• Why the Theft?

  • Explains there were 17 adult bikes: “I took the child's bike because it was the smallest; the child will grow into an adult bike eventually.” [34:55–36:01]
  • Needed immediate escape–was “on the run from some bad fellas” after a bungled, fixed wrestling match. [36:13, 36:54]

• Backstory: The Wrestling Debacle

  • Works as a semi-pro wrestler (ring name: “Ho Malone,” inspired by Home Alone “wet bandit” villains).
  • Was told by organizers he’d win, but bookies wanted him to throw the match. He tries and fails to lose believably due to accidental slapstick (hits himself with bowling ball, does an uncoordinated “moonsault” flip, inadvertently wins anyway). [39:38–41:57]
  • Suffers a concussion and throws on a real neck brace (not just a disguise) from the locker room. [53:19]

• On the Run Through Dignity Falls

  • Dons hospital scrubs (his “day job” = radiologist), tries to hide among neighborhoods, hops fences (“doing the Ferris Bueller”). [47:18, 55:34]
  • Spends a night running, gets wet (briefly discusses being “flicked off” a diving board by a kid). [56:00]

• Why the Strider Bike?

  • By morning, needs wheels; decides the child’s Strider is least valuable or least likely missed.
  • Gets stuck repeatedly in a hilly area, unable to crest the incline on the pedal-less bike. [59:02]

• The Bike’s Fate

  • Eventually chased by “goons” and their dogs (“pups”)—throws the Strider bike to distract them (“they were eating the crap out of that bike”). [62:16]

• Desperate Visit to Ex-Wife

  • Omaran flees to his ex-wife Ally’s house for refuge, only to find her with new partner (a failed mayoral candidate) and their sons.
  • Children are “used to it”—he’s been “on the run” before; admits he “didn’t want” custody. [67:28, 68:38]
  • High-energy, cheerfully self-deluded delivery belies a chaotic, unstable reality.

Memorable Quotes:

• “All runs are different.” – Omaran, [64:08]
• “Can you apologize to the child?”
  “Hey, child... The bike’s gone, and it’s never coming back.” – [60:53; 61:03]
• “Help me, help me! ... There’s a guy in the backyard!”
  — (Chaotic conclusion as possible pursuer appears at the hosts’ window) [75:56–76:08]
• “How much do you owe these guys?”
  “Ninety-six dollars.”
  “Are you kidding me? Omar, you have to get out of here right now!” [76:09–76:22]

3. Running Gags and Side Conversations

Radio DJs & Local Eccentrics

[02:58–09:23]

• The hosts discuss Patty Higginbottom, local late-night radio DJ who reads “love damnations” with a sweet voice (“You are sent to me from hell...”).
• Debate the secret to vocalists’ longevity and vocal care: “Secrets and Gargles” (a store selling mysterious gargles and “goggle goggles”). [07:17]

Axolotl Mania & Doug’s Business Ventures

[13:55–18:09; 80:39–86:52]

• Joan waxes poetic about kids’ obsession with axolotls and the children’s book “Axolotl,” sparking a pun contest (“Hijacks-a-lotl”).
• Doug is developing stuffed toys—first tries “Build a Naked Mole Rat,” then pivoting (without much success) to “Build an Axolotl,” and finally to bizarre “gooey ducks,” causing household confusion and exasperation. [81:00–85:00]

The Local Critic (& Neighborhood Feuds)

[21:00–23:57]

• Joan recounts harassment from local theater critic Mitch McNutt (bitten chocolates, dead flowers, scathing reviews), and debates how much “boundary breaking” is acceptable among listeners.

Movie Tangents

[20:11, 45:45]

• Frequent insistence: “We are not a movie podcast.”
• Digressions into “Lord of the Rings,” “Saw,” “The Strangers,” “Uncut Gems,” “The Fugitive,” “Home Alone,” “Bones,” and more.
• Ongoing bit: Burnt’s “Burn’s Three”—recounting exactly three things remembered from a movie.
  • For The Fugitive:
    1. “I don’t care.”
    2. Shoe polish/hair dye
    3. The leap off the drainpipe [74:56–75:15]

“Sit and Lear”—Dignity Falls Expressions

• Discussion of town-specific phrases, like “sit and lear” (to sit in the street and reflect on one’s mistakes; “lear” = “real” backward”). [51:48–52:09]

4. Community Corners: Holiday Decorations & Hustles

[87:01–92:23]

• Joan reads a gushing social post by “Scarlet,” who hired Chester to decorate her home with Christmas lights.
• The photo reveals it’s just one plain white strand; Burnt and Joan mock the over-the-top praise and question if “Chester” is a scam artist.

  “When he switched everything on, my whole yard lit up like the season had officially begun. Right there at my doorstep.” – Scarlet, read by Joan, [88:37]
  “It looks like barely anything was done. It’s just some white lights.” – Burnt, [89:14]
  “She claims people slowed down... It just looks like regular lights for security.” – Joan, [89:53]

Notable Quotes & Moments (by Speaker & Timestamp)

• Burnt (Paul F. Tompkins):

  • “If it’s a neck brace, this neck is in bad shape.” [32:16]
  • “Can we all just have bad days sometimes?” [33:29]
  • “Are you saying burnt me up sounds made up?” [25:33]
  • “I want to clone him so I can kill the clone.” (re: Mitch McNutt) [22:25]

• Joan (Nicole Parker):

  • “It's a little jarring, I'm sure, to sometimes hear that we have a potential criminal sitting at this kitchen island.” [78:51]
  • “This is feminine overdrive in all its glory.” [82:44]

• Omaran/’Ho Malone’ (Waleed Mansour):

  • “Did you take that bike?”—Burnt
    “I did take that bike. And it was necessary.” [33:08–33:44]
  • “I was on the run from some bad fellas.” [36:13]
  • “Hey, child... The bike’s gone, and it’s never coming back.” [61:03]
  • “All runs are different.” [64:08]

• Doug (Brett Morris):

  • (On his failed plush toys) “Now, I think it's more like a gooey duck.” [80:51]
  • “Do me a favor and google gooey duck.” [81:03]

Important Timestamps

• Begin main content / introductions: [02:09]
• "Strider Bike" post introduced: [31:19]
• Omaran (‘Ho Malone’) interview starts: [32:26]
• Wrestling backstory & why on the run: [36:54–41:57]
• Strider bike theft details: [59:02–63:16]
• Wandering Dignity Falls, dog chase: [55:34, 62:12]
• Encounter at ex-wife Ally’s house & more family backstory: [67:28–69:09]
• Hosts confront Omaran about consequences/messy life: [70:07–76:48]
• Neighborhood community holiday decorations post: [87:01–92:23]
• Closing/holiday wishes: [92:43–93:34]

Episode’s Tone & Energy

The show maintains a playful, absurdist, and sometimes poignant tone—digging into deeply flawed characters’ lives while never letting go of the comic improvisational style. The hosts embrace ongoing confusions, tangents, and meta-commentary (“Are we a movie podcast?”), and openly riff on their own (and their town’s) many shortcomings.

The guest character’s relentless energy—despite clear personal failures—provides both comedic momentum and an undercurrent of real pathos.

Useful for New Listeners

• You’ll get character-driven improv based on ludicrously real neighborhood posts.
• The show joyfully parodies both true crime podcasts and hyper-local Facebook groups.
• The hosts blend town lore with elaborate running gags.
• Main story: A wrestling-radiologist-fugitive’s ridiculous, self-justifying narrative of bike theft and family drama.
• Standing recommendations: Avoid hiring “Chester” for Christmas lights, and think twice before leaving your Strider bike in the carport.

TL;DR

The Neighborhood Listen delivers another wild tour of Dignity Falls, packed with awkward holiday spirit and the unfiltered confessions of a truly hapless Strider bike thief. Featuring tangents about axolotls, semi-pro wrestling, failed plush toys, and one amazing (yet underwhelming) Christmas lighting job, it’s a festive, farcical glimpse into the strange soul of the suburbs.