← The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
AJLT's Overdue Farewell, SJP's Inauthenticity, and The Overall Response To The Show's Cancellation
01:21:55
Maureen dedicates today's Nerve to giving a proper memorial - make that celebration - for the discontinuation of the insufferable series "And Just Like That." She walks through the latest episode of the season, pointing to all the storyline openings that will now be dead ends, which offer proof that the cast and creators were blindsided by the announcement. Maureen also exposes Sarah Jessica Parker as a mean girl, who masquerades as a sweetheart and also nominates her as the first offender to be banished to The Nerve's Woodchipper. Aware House: Visit https://awarehouseshop.com/discount/THENERVE & use code THENERVE for 15% off your first order. American Financing: Call American Financing today to find out how customers are saving an avg of $800/mo. 866-885-1332 or visit https://www.AmericanFinancing.net/Nerve - NMLS 182334, https://nmlsconsumeraccess.org Ground News: Ground News: Go to https://groundnews.com/maureen for 40% off the Vantage subscription and find the truth mainstrea...
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- [00:00]
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- [01:28]
Cultural Critic
Troublemakers, we gather here today to mourn. Actually, it's a celebration, a celebration of bad art that we're all going to be freed from immediately. It's a true nerve ending. The cultural abomination that is, and just like that, has been taken out back and shot. Finally for our proceedings today, I have come with the smallest bouquet of dried flowers, which I think is befitting our sprightly, 900-year-old heroine. And I'm going to light an in memoriam candle from our remaining Fox matchbook. Safety first. Well, this light, it's the metaphor for this show, right? It's not lighting properly. All right, we'll have to deal with that later. And before we begin, a nod to our troublemaker, Jennifer the Woodshed. We are opening it wide, wide, wide for all of these carcasses. Let's go. Are you looking to support made in the USA manufacturing this year? Whether it's home decor, clothing or furniture, it's become extremely difficult to find high quality products that aren't made overseas. 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Head to a warehouseshop.com and use code thenerve for 15% off your first order. That's a warehouse shop code. The Nerve. Now I just. Is this too much? I don't want to be overdressed, you know, not that Carrie, you know what? Actually in proper memorial memorial form for Carrie, I am a little overdressed. I'm trying to take all the oxygen out of the room. I'm trying to steal the thunder at this funeral. Sarah Jessica Parker and showrunner Michael Patrick King. And I say beware of people who garland themselves by using all three of their birth names because I believe these people are overcompensating. These two have been all over social media like, like, like trying to console us. Like we can't believe it. Trust me, we can believe it. We're into it now. They're trying to paint this as a voluntary and deliberate creative choice to end the show. And I say no effing way. No. I'm going to lay out my theory of the case. Like the criminal prosecutor, I like to pretend that I am for what has been perpetra against the culture and longtime fans of Sex and the City, that this is in fact a crime. It is a state crime, it is a federal crime, and it is an international crime that may involve needing to flag Interpol. To the woodshed we go. And by the way, the Wood Chipper is making its debut. Team nerve had 911 calls going back and forth all weekend long. And our brilliant, multi talented producer Marlena sped up production on the Wood Chipper and she got it good and oiled up and I cannot wait for you guys to see this. Now when we look at Sarah Jessica Parker and Michael Patrick King's self important obits for this shit show, remember always that these two people who went on about their art in the pages of the New Yorker in the June 6, 2023 edition, which we will get to, they went on and on about how no detail of this show. And just like that gets past their militaristic eyes, such as the color of a bow on a shoe. These two thought that putting Aiden in a pickup truck in the fields of Virginia and calling Carrie in the middle of the night. And this is going to get graphic. So I'm just warning you, I'm teasing you and I'm warning you to ask her to touch herself, which SJP mimed under her covers. And by God, did no one ever ask to see that played on a loop, you know, for like prisoners of war. And then Aiden proceeds to. And again, graphic. But this is high art, so we have to go through it blow by blow, lick his hand. And I mean he took his hand and he slowly, top to bottom, licked it, then he jammed it down his jeans, proceeded to masturbate and then interrupt himself by telling Carrie that the very thought of her turned him on so much that he sharted. Okay, they think they were making great art, important art, you know. Okay, so we open the third to last episode of this entire entire just mess. It's called Better than Sex. And our favorite sprightly 900 year old woman is reading what sounds like the final words metaphor of her historical novel that lacks only a named protagonist. A plot, a sense of time, place and context and conflict. You know, just the basic tenets of storytelling, which is something these show, this show's writers obviously do not have and never have had. Now we are going to take a look here at one Samantha Irby, who is also on trial here because she has the sole writing credit on this utter embarrassment. I think she's been in the writer's room since season one and she is a self described. You know what? No. The media and the publishing industrial complex refer to Samantha Irby in all all seriousness, like straight face, like she's one of our foremost humorists and cultural commentators. Not so. So we are forensically taking this, this episode apart. And a little background on Samantha Irby. Per her wiki. Irby has been open about her struggles with Crohn's disease, degenerative arthritis and depression, often discussing her experiences in her writing. And she's a fairly young woman, so you know, she's a great time, lots of fun. Also according to her wiki, who would put this in here like she had somebody go put this in here. She is friends with the writers, insufferable writers, humorless writers in my opinion. Roxane Gay and Lindy West. Now these two have been at the forefront of the so called body positivity movement. And I would love to see how Samantha Irby justifies her existence with those two, writing for the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker, who is a waif. So again, we return to the 900 year old woman's passage, which was doubtless written by Samantha Irby. Quote, autumn was here, and as the leaves turned gold and the air turned crisp. Okay, there are two crimes here. I'm just going to stop it right now. Do you remember we talked about our patron saint, Elmore Leonard, and his 10 rules of writing? Rule number one is never open a book or. Or a passage. My supposition, I subscribe to it. With weather. With weather. Weather is relegated to small talk in an office elevator with someone you barely know or can barely stand. Number two, in one line, we have what writers and editors call a word rep, which is using the same word more than once. So in that sentence alone, that sentence fragment, she has used the words turned twice. Now, I will give her this for rhythmic purposes that might be acceptable, but keep your ear out for more. And I quote, we return. I just did a word rep. The woman returned to herself. Her hours turned into days, her days turned into weeks, her pain turned into productivity. This is lousy, lousy writing. This is hackneyed. It is cliched. There are zero specifics. And frankly, her editor would know that this louse of someone who dares to call herself a writer is just trying to reach her contractually obligated word count. And this book would never, ever, ever be published. We continue. The family that would never inhabit her home or her heart, by which she means the future school shooter named Wyatt, faded from her life. Like all. Like all things in people inconvenient to Carrie do they just sort of fade from her life? We never hear the words Mr. Big, ever. Ever. It's like she was never married. She literally said in one episode this season, I was never married. All of this, by the way, just happened, like a second ago. We return the way the golden leaf faded to brown at her feet. This is sloppy. Slop, slop, slop, heap. A quick fact check asking Google AI tells me that it typically takes a leaf one week to turn from gold to brown or red to brown. So has the woman been struck by what we'll call nerve paralysis in her garden for an entire week? What is she, a statue sitting there waiting for a leaf to turn brown at her feet without dying of starvation or dehydration? Now to our ending. She had done all she could. She had done all she could. She had done all she could. This struck me as a very lazy, humorless callback to one of the worst scenes ever committed on the original satc. And that includes the pun that I will not and never have repeated. Here we go. This is her plea after cheating on him and Aiden all over town with Big. You have to forgive me, Aiden. He's impassive. Forgive me.
- [12:37]
Character 1
You have to forgive me.
- [12:40]
Cultural Critic
Oh, that was terrible. That scene was terrible. The acting, the writing, it was awful. And it's Pete Carrey. You have to forgive me. Well, why? Why? She doesn't say anything about why she's sorry or how sorry she is. In fact, she doubles down and he says, I don't want you to see that guy again. A perfectly logical request. And she says to him, not happening. But I'm going to whinge and moan over here, okay? Like the baby she is. Back to this episode of. And just like that, Carrie saunters down to her waiting scotch swilling British writer. We're going to get into the way he will scotch because even that just bugged the shit out of me. Her house, by the way, is now suddenly fully furnished and decorated because timelines mean nothing to these writers. And here he sits, this guy named Duncan, astonished, astonished that he is in the presence of such a Titanic talent. Here we go.
- [13:33]
Character 2
My dear, if I drank as much as you deserved, I'd be returning home to Mrs. Thatcher knockered every night. And she would not appreciate it, nor would my rapidly approaching deadline.
- [13:45]
Character 3
Oh, God, please don't tell me that helping with my book has put you.
- [13:48]
Character 2
Behind in a little worse. It shames me.
- [13:53]
Cultural Critic
Okay, okay, you have got to scroll back a little bit. And again, if you're listening to this episode, I'm going to implore you to watch it because it's all audio visual. There's a. We're doing it. We're doing a ton of. We're showing. We're showing the perpetrators in action, okay? We caught them on surveillance footage, red handed. So Duncan says to her, he says to her, yes, in fact, actually reading your book about the woman. We don't know what's happened in this book really at all, except her lover comes back and dies. You know, he says, yeah, it's put me back. I'm gonna blow my deadline. Which, by the way, writers always blow their first deadline. It's like it's a common knowledge in publishing. The first deadline's never the real one anyway. He says, yes, in fact, I have. And Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie closes her eyes, sighs and shudders a little Bit. It's like she's had like a mini orgasm. She's so thrilled by this idea that he sacrificed his own attempt at creating something meaningful to tend to her. Bullshit over here. It's not enough. It's not enough. We have to get some more gushing about how writing just comes so easily to Carrie, so easily that her first draft of by the Way, her first attempt at fiction, it's very hard to switch gears, is a jewel. It's a masterpiece. And as a writer myself, this really offends me because as discussed previously, everyone's first draft is for shit. I don't care who you are. To quote Ernest Hemingway, there's nothing to writing. All you have to do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed. But not our Carrie. Not the best sex writer the local penny saver's ever seen. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. So now we've got some more graveling at Carrie's feet. And really, these are the feet of Sarah Jessica Parker, who is psychologically fused to this character to the point of psychosis. Take a look.
- [15:48]
Character 1
Really? Is it indulgent?
- [15:50]
Character 2
No. Don't worry, I'll let you know if the prose gets too purple. Okay, now you steeled yourself. The opening paragraph of chapter 16 is too purple.
- [15:59]
Character 3
Slavender Edwards. Worst.
- [16:01]
Character 2
Oh, well, what do I know? I only have five best selling books.
- [16:06]
Character 3
I have seven.
- [16:07]
Character 2
My biographies are 700 pages long.
- [16:11]
Character 3
The plots are already written for you.
- [16:15]
Cultural Critic
So again, that is this, this entire, this entire effort of reviving Sex and the City. And, and we're at. It's like its peak. It's apex. It's too satiate the ego, the monster ego of one Sarah Jessica Parker. This guy is a literary respected historical biographer. He's got five bestsellers, which is like a feat very few writers attain. She goes, I have seven. First of all, we saw in the original series, like her first book was a collection of her shitty columns. Her second book was on. I don't know what it was. Was it the second book where she bought berger the like $900 Prada shirt he didn't even want? And he was like, lady, you're shaming me. You're emasculating me. And she's like, what?
- [17:03]
Character 1
Huh?
- [17:05]
Cultural Critic
Do I look like I'm bragging that I'm way more successful of a writer than you are? Yeah, you do seven books. Get out of here. Oh, and well, you know, your plots are already written. Let me tell you, as a writer of nonfiction, most recently, ask Not. It is a heavy lift to take people who? Real people who everyone thinks that they know and tell a story that they've never heard before that is nonetheless true. And present these characters in three dimensional detail that makes it feel like you're in their heads, in their hearts. It's not nothing. Sarah Jessica Parker, who I cannot believe is still on the Booker Prize committee. I mean, everybody's a star fucker now. Everybody. Okay, now of course, Carrie talking down to Duncan and asserting what a superior writer she is, by the way, after he's just done her this massive favor of being an unpaid first reader and blowing his own deadline to do so. Of course this makes him want to ask her out, but not before he remonstrates himself on the way out of her door for not finishing his biography of Maggie Thatcher. And he asks himself to her, what the bloody hell takes me so long? I don't know. Quality control. Anyway, now we cut over to Miranda's apartment, her brand new apartment for which she paid blithely 150k over asking to secure before it hit the market. And this clip exists so that we just so we can see, really absorb what wardrobe put this character in. Miranda, you pulled this place together pretty fast.
- [18:38]
Character 1
Steve, I bought it fully furnished.
- [18:41]
Cultural Critic
Okay, look at what she is wearing. It is like a maroon long knit skirt. Again, this is supposed to be summertime. It reads as knit to me with white, like a white detail, like graphic that's very unattractive. And then on top of that, she's wearing this very loud yellow crewneck sweater and it's got this horrible like, almost like a tic tac toe graphic in blue. I mean, she looks like she does have some kind of true undiagnosed mental disorder, like a mental illness. And that would track because again, so many atrocities have been leveled against us by this show that until I get reminded, I forget, legitimately forget, that we saw Cynthia Nixon and all of us were like, please don't go there, please don't go there. And they did. They put her in bed with Rosie o' Donnell a few episodes back. And that is how bad this show is, because every week it tops itself until you forget a moment like that. Okay, so anyway, you know, drowning in wealth, Miranda and Steve, in comes their loser son, Brady, the aspiring chef. This is a very underdeveloped character trait. You know, they constantly have to give us expository dialogue, which is like, you know, the stuff where they're like excited, explaining motivations or characteristics that they can't otherwise elegantly just show and not tell the way. Good Dramatists should do. Okay, so now Brady is announcing that he's done at the slop heap that his father's running over at Coney island, that little shack of hot dogs and fries. And he wants to go to culinary school now. And he's going to impress them and try to get them to pay for it, which they're like, yeah, you're gonna get an education. Finally, you're gonna do something with yourself. He's 20 years old, he's still living at home. He's slinging burgers and fries on the boardwalk at Coney. Okay? So he, he presents them with their, with their meal and, and the camera makes a point to, to, to, to stop and look at the plate of food and it's a mess. It's like there's spinach on, just heavy with water that hasn't been drained and the water is seeping into the fish. And he doesn't even get the importance of plating and fine dining, the art of presentation, which is yet another metaphor for this show. So anyway, Brady has some news and his news is that he got someone pregnant and it's a girl. We're back in the land of binaries. Now, we forgot that Miranda had been dating the non binary, excuse me, comic Che Diaz. And so he got a girl pregnant and he doesn't really know her last name and he doesn't really care because she doesn't want him involved. And he's cool with that because now he can just go on and live his life. And this is the kind of garbage person these two are responsible for. And I have several other pieces of evidence I would like to submit to the court, if I may. Now, Steve, per the medical clinical definition, has been written as a dull person. Now this classification is typically reserved for those adults who have difficulty finding the right words, who exhibit slower thought processes and reaction times, and, and who have difficulty concentrating, focusing or comprehending. These people typically have an IQ of 80. And that is what they have done to Steve. Now, Miranda and Steve, who themselves had. Brady, is the product of a surprise pregnancy that Miranda almost, she almost had an abortion, famously on Sex and the City, and then decided to keep the baby. That's pretty revolutionary stuff. But again, Cynthia Nixon, the reports are. And they've not been denied because it's a flex for her. Cynthia Nixon said, I will come back only if you can turn Miranda into me. A miserable, humorless woman who has left her husband of many years and the father of her children child for a lesbian and becomes a humorless social justice warrior slash activist and you know, dresses terribly. Dresses like she's like legally blind. No, no offense to those who struggle with legal blindness. It's real. But she spent season one so she and Miranda. Wait, sorry, no, she and Steve. Excuse me. My thoughts are racing so quickly. I'm going to try to slow them down. They spent season one shrugging their shoulders at their teenage son who was busy having loud sex all over their townhouse and who had come down with whatever girl he was banging into the kitchen, half dressed and still sweaty and smelling of sex, to ask like, where's their favorite ice cream carton? And Miranda and Steve would like, shrug and what are we going to do? Wonk won. So they're shocked, shocked again that their 20 year old son, who still lives at home and has no real career path or drive or ambition or truly a sense of responsibility as exhibited, knocked up some girl he was partying with while drunk one night. And they start yelling and carrying on like it's the end of the world. And a total shock that this is who they have raised. And Steve at one point yells at Brady, I will lay you out. Nobody talks like this. This woman who wrote this, this, this episode, she lives in Kalamazoo with her wife. I don't think she knows a lot of straight guys. I don't think she likes a lot of straight guys. And I don't think she knows how they talk. They don't talk like that. They don't talk like that. And now this is where Cynthia Nixon, the real Cynthia Nixon comes out. The real Cynthia Nixon, who we recently saw on Instagram wearing her version of a MAGA cap, which instead read make abortion great again and again. As I've said, the most pro life among us, I think we can agree, regard abortion as a tragedy. So Brady has told Miranda, slash Cynthia says, well, how far along is she? And Brady says, oh, she's visibly pregnant. Like I ran into her on the street. Like it's happening. She's visibly pregnant. Watch and listen very carefully to this exchange. Watch, here we go.
- [25:23]
Character 1
Okay. How pregnant is she?
- [25:28]
Cultural Critic
Like very.
- [25:30]
Character 2
I bumped into her on the street.
- [25:31]
Cultural Critic
Where she works and she was like clearly pregnant. She said that's the only reason she.
- [25:35]
Character 2
Told me because it was so obvious.
- [25:41]
Character 1
How do you know it's yours? She said so, but it sounds like she sleeps with a lot of people.
- [25:47]
Cultural Critic
Where did you get that from?
- [25:48]
Character 1
Well, it. So do you know if she's planning to keep it or put it up for adoption?
- [25:55]
Cultural Critic
Okay, number one, Cynthia Nixon also is a misogynist She's a self hating lesbian. She says to her son who knocked up a stranger having unprotected sex. Oh, she sounds like a whore. Sounds like the town bicycle. Now when she says, do you think is she gonna keep it or give it up for adoption? After he says she's visibly pregnant. That's Cynthia saying, hey guys out there. It's totally cool to abort a baby that could survive outside the womb at this point. Okay? She is disgusting. Disgusting. She is disgusting. And I hope, I really hope the, I hope the worst for her career. She is such a piece of shit. Okay, now it's time for a tone shift. Now after Steve again yells at Brady, and I quote, you have up your entire life. Which imagine your son who full well knows his origin story that he was an unplanned pregnancy between a. A parent. They were. Miranda and Steve were not together when she got pregnant by him. Remember he was getting, he had testicular cancer. Excuse me. And was having one of his testicles amputated. And she gave him what he called a mercy F. And then she got pregnant. So then Steve tells Brady, you have fucked up your entire life. Literal dialogue. What does this writer think the character of Brady is going to interpret? That he, he was a huge mistake. And that Steve would have had a much better life if he hadn't been. There's only one way to interpret that shit. Okay, so then Cynthia as Miranda does a three way call with her pals Carrie and Charlotte. Now we just had a very dramatic scene in which this, this 20 year old kid who is, is a loser but was nonetheless traumatized and has terrible parents. So little. Wonderful. She's calling them for some solace and advice. Why he would go to Carrie Bradshaw for advice, I have no idea. Anyway, she's calling them for advice now. Note the music underneath. And this scene follows directly the big fight scene at the dining room table. Take a look.
- [28:04]
Character 1
Okay. Brady got somebody pregnant. Oh no.
- [28:09]
Character 3
Oh my.
- [28:10]
Character 1
He came over to dinner tonight and dropped that bomb on Steve and me. I didn't even know Brady was seeing anyone. He isn't. She was just a hookup. Oh, no. Oh, that's my worst nightmare. Oh, I'm. I'm sorry.
- [28:22]
Cultural Critic
I'm sorry.
- [28:22]
Character 1
I'm making this about me. This is about you. Please, can it be about somebody else?
- [28:27]
Character 3
Well.
- [28:30]
Cultural Critic
Okay, two things. I don't know that we were able to hear the score in that clip, but it is a very whimsical score that is meant to tell the audience to take this scene for laughs. So we just went from high drama. Your life is ruined. What have you done to. Oh, my God, you guys. Can you believe it? Brie's so wacky, he knocked up some filthy Brooklyn hipster God. Now I do wish Mad magazine, much as I wish Andy Warhol was still with us. The Mad magazine of the 80s, when it was really at its peak. Satirical glory and vengeance. What they would have done to this. What they would have done to Sarah Jessica Parker. I can only imagine now the moment when Miranda says, oh, my God, can we make this about somebody else? And Carrie goes, well, I mean, I was like, fully expecting her to go, you know what? There's this hot guy downstairs who I can just tell is crazy about me. Just like every man in Manhattan. He's just crazy about me. Because that's what she always did. That's what she always did. And it reminded me, it was such a callback to Carrie in Sex and the City, calling Miranda to agonize. And really, it's a humble brag because she got her book reviewed in the Times by, like, the A plus, then book reviewer, a real person, Machiko Kakutani. And Miranda's like nine months pregnant. Or. She just had the baby. She just had the baby. She barely has time to shower. She's like comatose from lack of sleep. She's the walking dead. Her hair is greasy. She's trying to get to work. And Carrie's going on and on and on. And finally Miranda says, you know what, Carrie? Some of us have real problems. And Carrie goes, oh, my God, you're right. But can I just go on for another five minutes? That's Carrie. That's Sarah Jessica Parker. I'm going to submit you real world proof of Sarah Jessica Parker. Trust me. You know what else? You know how people like to make puns of dogs names? Like, this is tangential, but I've met, like, I've met a dog owner whose dog was named Marissa Barkitay, which I thought was really cute and funny. Mariska Barkitay, after Mariska Hargitay. And it was obviously done with affection. But you never hear of anybody naming their dog Sarah Jessica Barker, do you? And that's because dogs are just too pure to be befouled in such a way. Okay, let's take a quick break and we will be right back. What if you could delay your next two mortgage payments? That's right. Imagine putting those two payments in your pocket and finally getting a little breathing room. It's possible. When you call American Financing today, if you are feeling stretched by everyday expenses. Groceries, gas, bills piling up. You are not alone. Most Americans are putting these expenses on credit cards and there doesn't seem to be way out in the near future. This is where American Financing can show you how to use your home's equity to pay off that debt. So call American Financing today before you get to a point where you can't make those payments anymore. Their salary based mortgage consultants are helping homeowners just like you restructure their loans and consolidate debt, all without upfront fees. And their customers are saving an average of $800 a month. That's like a $10,000 a year raise. This is fast, it's simple and it could save your budget this summer. So call now before it's too late. 866-885-1332 that's 866-885-1332 or visit american financing.net.
- [32:11]
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- [32:46]
Cultural Critic
Now we are also affronted with Mario Cantone, who is one of the worst actors going. I mean, he has been playing, playing this character so broadly. He's got one tone, he's got one. One what? It's so big. It's always big. He's always at like 11. Anyway, we are affronted with his unwaxed rear end in a sex scene none of us needed to see. None of us needed to see his grooming habits or lack thereof. None of us needed to see this. His boyfriend in the show, who of course is much younger and hotter and would never be with a guy like this, has a roommate and his roommate is an older man who builds wooden marionettes. Again, this is somebody anyone with an iota of common sense would steer clear of. He we see the older roommate jerking off to the marionette made in the image and likeness of the boyfriend. I don't find this funny. I don't. I think it's creepy and weird. And then the Lisa Todd Wexler character who has a storyline that is just negligible at best. She has her daughter's hamster on her desk in this little tiny cage. And a troublemaker emailed me who works in the field with animals and said, that cage is small to the point of animal cruelty. And it would be a mistake for anybody watching this show to think that it's okay at all to keep a hamster tiny as they are in a tiny little cage like that. Okay, on to Charlotte's ridiculous storyline in which she has won in a raffle. A psychic cleanse over zoom. I mean, you would think we're going to do psychics. We were talking about psychics and how to do this, and we're going to do it in the nerve fashion. But you would think any psychic worth their salt is like, we got to do it in person because I got to be able to read your energy. But we're doing it over zoom. And the psychic won't even look at her over zoom. Like the screen's black. But really, what this scene is is about more poor parenting, which has resulted in insufferable teenagers, one of whom may still be non binary. We don't know, because that storyline's been dropped. Here we go. Charlotte.
- [35:01]
Character 1
Why are you just tapping right here?
- [35:04]
Cultural Critic
It's the only part of the hallway in front of her bedroom.
- [35:06]
Character 1
Well, hey, hey, hey. I want an energy zoom. You don't need to practice right now.
- [35:14]
Cultural Critic
No, we do.
- [35:15]
Character 1
The play is in three weeks, and rock is entry level at best. 5, 6, 7, 8.
- [35:21]
Cultural Critic
Okay, first of all, I would have thrown that kid out of my house. This is my house. You don't tell me that when I just told you and asked you nicely to stop tap dancing that you would need to keep going because my child is so far behind, okay? He would have been thrown out. Secondly, that that child should have been punished, period, for tap dancing on, like, freshly waxed hardwood floors. Go do it at school, okay? Go do it at a studio. And then we get, of course, you know, Kristen Davis. She seems like a nice person, you know, but, like, the acting, she's. She's doing a lot. Her acting consists of eye work, and her eye work is like this. Her eye work is like, can you see the tops of my irises and the whites on tops of my irises? And I do this a lot. I mug. I mug. Because everything's wacky. It is unwatchable. It is unwatchable. Now on to Seema, who is their lazy reanimation of Samantha Seema. But Seema is joyless and, like, insufferable in a dark cloud. And people would just be like, get away, get away, get away. You're too negative. Now, she, for whatever reason, we don't know, she has a hot, adoring boyfriend who's much younger, much like Samantha did. His mother died of breast cancer. And, you know, they gave Samantha breast cancer, which was really, I believe, Sarah Jessica Parker and Companies attempts to mar Kim Cattrall's beauty with, you know, bad wigs and a shaved head and chemo and she couldn't wear makeup and all that. You know what I mean? So let's watch Seema's real purpose on this show, which is as a body that someone can meet up with over $40 cocktails so that Carrie can humble, humble, brag and gripe too. Here we go.
- [37:22]
Character 3
I've never experienced a man see me as smart first. Sexy? Yes.
- [37:29]
Cultural Critic
Cute?
- [37:29]
Character 3
Yes.
- [37:30]
Cultural Critic
Humble?
- [37:30]
Character 1
No.
- [37:31]
Character 3
No, no, no, no. I'm not bragging. Quite the opposite. It's.
- [37:35]
Cultural Critic
It's.
- [37:36]
Character 3
It's limiting. This is different. Duncan respects my thoughts, what makes me me. He. He sees my meanness.
- [37:49]
Cultural Critic
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Oh, my God. Okay, so that is because Carrie is played by one Sarah Jessica Parker. You know, she's just marveling that of all the men who've taken a tumble in her bed, none. Not until Duncan have been able to see past her undeniable, breathtaking beauty. Her sexiness, her charming charisma. Just a winning personality. But, you know, the beauty is the number one thing. And they've never been able to see past that into her genius mind as exhibited by a novel called the Woman since Duncan. Okay, now we're going back to Miranda, who again, wants a sophisticated power lawyer. And who would know, just inherently know in muscle memory the legal ramifications of stalking her son's baby mama and going to confront her under the guise of I'm just a stranger, peppering you with questions. She would understand the legal implications of this, let alone how unethical it is. But, you know, I guess we need comic relief. So here comes Miranda with Charlotte. I mean, Carrie would never, you know, lower herself. And so here's Miranda peppering this girl, who is again, we're very classist on the show because she's not even a stylist. You know, they're horrified to learn that this girl is not even a hairstylist. She is a shampoo girl with tattoos. The horror. It's Rosemary's Baby. Here we go.
- [39:33]
Character 1
Mia. Mia, Mia, don't go. Please. I shouldn't have gone, I don't know, undercover. But I just found out and I'm still processing this. I hope, because there's a baby coming, we can have some kind of a connection so our family can get to know this. Little boy or girl? Little boy or girl? You're so binary.
- [40:00]
Cultural Critic
Okay, again, she would. She would have thrown. She would have pulled out her card like, hey, hey, I'm. I'm cool. I'm hip. I. I went out with a non binary concert comic named Che Diaz, who was also a podcaster. No, we've forgotten that. Okay, again, this is not the writing of a series that knew it was wrapping up. We are attempting to open up storylines. We're not attempting to wrap them up. They wouldn't be introducing a pregnancy and a potential. It is happening. A Grandma Miranda, if you know, we were shutting up shop. So back to Miranda being utterly unfeminist and thoroughly judgmental, sneering and condescending. And what is she doing? I think she is trying to shame this girl into an abortion because while she's getting her hair washed by her, she's like, how do you know? How do you know who the father is? I mean, don't you think you should get a paternity test? This is ostensibly a stranger before Miranda reveals herself. Peppering. I mean, she would have been thrown out on the spot of that. They don't. They don't play. The Brooklyn hipster does not play. Trust me. Now back to Duncan at Carrie's. And oh, my God, the way this guy opens his teeth and curls his lip while drinking scotch, it is so. It's like. It's like masculine. Like real man cosplay. Like, he takes the highball and he brings it to his mouth and he pauses before it hits his mouth, and he curls his upper lip under to display all of his teeth and some gum. And then he opens his mouth and slugs it back. You know that kind of movie way of drinking scotch. It's kind of the way Tom Cruise, like, eats popcorn when he's in a. Like, it's very performative. It's ridiculous. But he's like a full man, right? Until. Until he goes Samantha Irby's version of full Brit. And he yells up to Carrie, this is. This is Samantha's version of how British people talk. I've been waiting a fortnight. Has she ever met anyone from England? Has she ever been, oh, my God, I've been waiting a fortnight. I am breaching the castle wall. Don't throw a flaming cauldron on me. So she's read Harry Potter. Okay? At best, Samantha Irby has read Harry Potter. So Duncan gets upstairs and he starts mooning over Carrie's frocks. He calls them her frocks. He is a ponce. He is a ponce. There is no better word to describe him. And Carrie, like she's got another one of her 900 year old girlfriends over, says, oh, you like that? You ain't seen nothing yet. So then she ushers Duncan into her secret closet. Her shoe closet. And again, this is. You would think the show is telling us something. That perhaps she has misread Duncan all along. And this guy is gay. And the repeated closets are metaphors. But then again, you don't even need to watch this. I would encourage you to do so because there's some interesting prop work involving a glittery shoe. Watch this clip. Duncan losing his mind in Carrie's secret closet.
- [43:15]
Character 3
Duncan, meet my girls.
- [43:19]
Character 2
Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle. Well, you are just a fairy tale, aren't you.
- [43:29]
Cultural Critic
Carrie?
- [43:30]
Character 3
Sjp.
- [43:31]
Cultural Critic
She just takes the compliment. She just.
- [43:32]
Character 2
Oh, look at her.
- [43:36]
Character 1
Hello.
- [43:39]
Cultural Critic
This is a shoe. What's.
- [43:40]
Character 2
What's it?
- [43:41]
Cultural Critic
Your thousand dollar shoe that I've kept.
- [43:44]
Character 2
Your mommy cooped up inside low these many weeks, starved you of glamorous parties and was that opulent dinners? Well, let me make it up to her. There's a party Tuesday. My publishing house is throwing it. The thought of going makes me want to gnaw off my own foot like a caged animal. But if I might persuade you to join me.
- [44:14]
Character 3
A publishing party?
- [44:16]
Character 2
Hang on. So beneath her rewrite coming in. I will pay you to join me.
- [44:21]
Character 3
How much?
- [44:23]
Character 2
Whatever you need to endure a room full of literary types. Plus my editor, who is a bit miffed at my lack of progress lo these many weeks. That much?
- [44:33]
Character 3
You've used low twice on this page.
- [44:36]
Cultural Critic
Okay, number one, Duncan used low. Low these many weeks. And she says you said that twice. Like she caught the word rep. Turns, turns, turns. Now look, first of all, the interplay, the interlude with the glittery shoe, which is. Which is Dorothy adjacent. Okay, it's a silver sparkle shoe. But Dorothy's shoes are red sparkly shoes. The phrase friend of Dorothy has historically been associated with gay men known as friends of Dorothy. This guy's gay. I don't know if these people even know what show they're writing. But Duncan's gay. He's a gay man. Okay, but he said, lo these many weeks, whatever days, twice. And that says to me now, I know, I know. I. I'm tethered to reality. I know that. And just like that was obviously in the can before the nerve was ever born. But I would like to retroactively assert that Duncan is a troublemaker. He is a troublemaker who snuck into Carrie Bradshaw's hearth and home under false pretenses and his job is to sabotage her fucking book, which sucks. Okay, now Charlotte cries to a page and a paid, excuse me, energy psychic, not her best friend, Carrie. Cause Carrie's otherwise occupied with her shopping and her Duncan and her book about the emotional fallout from Harry's cancer and how she's just coming to understand how much she took on and the fear and the anxiety and she's crying to the psychic she doesn't even know. And then Lisa Todd Wexler's husband loses his run for comptroller. Why they couldn't give this guy a glamour like election to pursue a mayoralty, a governorship, something, anything worth sinking our teeth into. But the controller, the guy who runs the. The money is so boring. It's so boring. And then he loses and they go home. They're all. They're all wearing $100,000 worth of clothing. They go home and they talk about how he miscalculated by not trying to appeal to the working class vote. But then someone else says, vote is garbage. Who needs them? And then Lisa, again cl. This show is so classist. And then Lisa Todd Wexler says, you know, they're going to cheer themselves up, how they're going to do it. They're going to order some pizza, some comfort food, but not regular pizza that like the rest of us trash would order. No, they're going to order the pizza. She says with the goat cheese on it that they like the gourmet pizza. And then ltw, her face looks very. She's very preoccupied. And we can tell she's thinking about the hot editor she's working with who she kind of wants to have an affair with. And again, we are opening storylines, not shutting them down. Okay, now this is the best, and by which I mean the most bonkers part of this episode. Carrie is heading to the publishing party she's agreed to attend with Duncan, except she's not going with him. He's there and she'll meet him there, even though she lives directly above him. So why they wouldn't just Uber together makes zero sense. But it makes sense in the production aspect of the show because Sarah Jessica Parker has to have her big entrance. Okay? She has to have her big SJP Carrie entrance. And there is. But I mean, before we even get to that, she begins to leave for this party in this gorgeous tailored skirt suit. It's modern, it's elegant, it's minimalist, and it's reminiscent to me anyway of nothing so much as in 1997, Kate Moss sort of blew up red carpet dressing at Cannes. She didn't wear anything fancy. She didn't wear these voluminous, like, look at me dresses. She wore a sleeveless gray shift dress by Narciso Rodriguez. And you can go look it up. It would have been, it would have been appropriate, equally appropriate for any young stylish woman working in New York City. And Kate made it a red carpet worthy garment. And that is real style. But SJP doesn't have real style of her own. You know, we see it with the absence of Pat Field, who dressed her legendarily. No, she, she's a mess. She's a mess this season, okay? She is on a mission to look like a 19th century bar wench. So she, she goes, turns back around, goes right back up her stairs and she trades that gorgeous suit for a Vivienne Westwood that. It's a mess on her. She's drowning in it. It's swallowing her whole. She looks ridiculous. She looks like someone who would have been street sweeping in her Victorian era fixation. And SJP in real life does have a Victorian era fixation. We'll get to it. So she changes out into the Westwood and again she looks like, as discussed before, she's the woman. Everyone in the neighborhood goes, she's nice enough. She's nice enough. There's something wrong with her. Just steer clear, Steer clear. So now. And we cut this tracking shot down because it's that long, because we have to have the camera lovingly watch Sarah Jessica Parker do her best catwalk strut. Okay? From the outside of an edifice into a party. So let's take a look at this.
- [49:58]
Character 3
You.
- [50:01]
Cultural Critic
Oh, Carrie Bradshaw just walked in. What is she wearing? It's fabulous.
- [50:08]
Advertiser 2
I've been desperate for eons to get her to one of our beds.
- [50:11]
Cultural Critic
But why on earth is she here tonight? It's not even a good one.
- [50:15]
Character 2
I invited her.
- [50:17]
Cultural Critic
How do you know Carrie Braw? Now there is a commenter on Vulture talking about this episode and the scene in particular, who I suspect is an insider. And I'll tell you why. But before I get to that, I just want to say that that would not be the reaction of anyone. First of all, those kinds of book publishing parties are dead. If you're listening, that thing is being held in like a five star, glamorous, modern venue, okay? Those kinds of things are dead in publishing Book readings don't even really happen much anymore. Book launches, like, they're very rare. And often, like if you see an author on tour, they're usually paying for themselves to go on tour. They're usually doing all the legwork themselves. The industry is contracting and Covid killed book events. It just did. So the idea that there would be this lavish publishing party thrown for what we're not even told, and then the power editor, who also is Duncan's ex wife, which we only learn in this scene. It's so sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. She goes, oh my God, Carrie Bradshaw is here. How we get Carrie Bradshaw here? Here's what the real reaction would be. Let's just pretend a party like this is taking place in Manhattan circa 2025. Is that Carrie Bradshaw? Who let her in? That hack, that sex writer for like the free press is befouling this party. Who's working the guest list? Where's my intern? Like, get her out of here. Everybody knows about her. First of all, she can't write. Secondly, everybody knows that she let her husband die out on their bathroom floor when he could have been saved from a heart attack just so she could inherit all of his multi millions of dollars. Get her out of here. That's what would happen. Okay, now the commenter, this commenter goes by the name Central Park West. I posit my theory of the case is that this user is Darren Starr, who was the initial creator and showrunner of Sex and the City and who really knows what he's doing now. He's over at Emily in Paris where he took Patricia Field, the legendary costume designer. She's over there making everybody on that show look like a million bucks. I think this is Darren Starr because he had a show called Central Park West. It was a misfire. And so that tracks to me. And then the way he's breaking down this scene, I. I think it's him. Okay, so I'm going to read this comment from user named Central Park West. Carrie hated being a sex columnist. So much dismissiveness in literary and intellectual circles, she would have been dismissed at this party. That scene with Petrovsky and his peer friends in the original Sex and the City apastis perfection. One of the snobs that is friends with Petrovsky asks Carrie, are you an artist as well? She says, no, I'm a writer. Novels? No, I write a column for a newspaper, the Times, the New York star. So she managed somehow in satc, to make an exciting and interesting life for herself despite this shortcoming. Could have been so interesting if AGLT had explored with depth and nuance and verve what happens to literary IT girls, which she was at best, an it girl and media darlings as they inevitably age or leave the scene. Sally Quinn excluded. And Sally Quinn is a deep cut wife of Ben Bradley. Another show. I think this is Darren Starr, and I think he knows what he's talking about, okay? Now, Duncan, at the end of the night, tells Carrie how he feels about her. And of course, how he feels about her is that even though he's a gay man, he's hopelessly in love with her. So let's see how this monster that is Carrie Bradshaw finds new ways to be thoroughly, singularly awful.
- [54:26]
Character 2
I think you're wonderful. And apparently, New York tonight, I discovered another one. Bradshaw, you're a thing.
- [54:35]
Character 3
And I discovered you're a mess.
- [54:40]
Cultural Critic
Okay? She takes. She receives all of that glowing praise and his vulnerable admission that he thinks she's wonderful, but I think really he's a troublemaker on the makeup. And she says, well, I discovered you're a mess. She is such an asshole. She is such an asshole. And then, of course, that makes him want to ask her inside to continue this lovely evening. And she just shakes her head no. She just shakes her head no. And she's doing. In. In the episode where she broke up with Aiden, like, a week or so back, she was doing this terrible mouth work. And what she was doing was almost chewing the insides of her cheeks with her lips closed and then trying, attempting to gnaw on her own lips from the inside out. And she does more of this awful mouth work in this scene as well. And I know where she lifted it from. I know where she lifted it from. And we're going to get to that, too. And you're going to die. You die. So now, of course, Carrie's initial no sets up one of the horiest tropes in romantic dramas and comedies, which is the frantic run back to the discarded lover by the lover who has suddenly decided, after months or if not years of mistreating this person and taking them for granted, that they suddenly cannot live without them and they must rush back into their waiting arms. And I find this a very dark message. And we'll get into it when we do our, you know, piece on the death of the rom com. But. And this show, this show, by the way, goes in the bucket with Lena Dunham destroying rom coms, okay? But in this case, so Carrie, then, sudden realization, she's just tossed this guy away who thinks she's wonderful and she says, I think you're a mess. And he says, wanna come inside? And she's like, I won't even dignify that with a verbal. No, I'm just gonna shake my head like, you're a loser. So she gets almost to the top of her staircase, and then she has the oh, eureka moment. No, this guy's for me. This guy's the one. So she has to descend like three steps to rush to get to the guy in the apartment below hers, the apartment she owns, and he's renting from her. So she presumably has the key. But we gotta rush, rush, rush. So she can take her Vivian Westwood and have it. Take a look, take a look. He's looking at her wistfully. Up the staircase she goes. Turn, pause. What have I done? Duncan. Duncan. He's right there. He's right there. And then they share this kiss. And it's so uncomfortable and cold and it looks like she's literally just pushing her head into his head to get it over with. And she doesn't even, like, land on his mouth properly. It's like on his side. And it's like, again, if I, if I'm gonna. I'm gonna give the writers or the actor in this case more credit than they deserve. That would be how a gay guy would kiss this woman, you know? Anyway, so apparently they have sex because there's a post coital conversation. And of course Sarah Jessica Parker is wearing like an 800 electric blue bra because we have to accent the blue eyes. And because like the prude SJP is always, always, always, she has to telegraph that she would never even imply that she has been topless in bed with a man that she has just had sex with.
- [58:01]
Character 3
With.
- [58:02]
Cultural Critic
So then Duncan creeps forward and I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it the way he did it. He's at the foot of the bed, she's at the, at the head of the bed. And he, he goes like this. He's like, so what's gonna happen with the woman? Do you have the ending yet? This is a gay man. I think this actor layered in some camp here. I really do. I think he was amusing himself. He had nothing else to do all day. And I think it just completely eluded Sarah Jessica Parker because he's doing what every character they, every male character they write does, which is just grovel at her feet. And as for her friends, they just forgive her for all of her what would otherwise be friendship ending offenses. Okay, that was a lot. And now we're going to get into Sex and the City and the culture. We're done with that episode. We're going to get into it in the culture. We're going to get into the real people, the real actors, the real creators. We are back in a minute. When elites tell you what's right and who's wrong, it's rarely the truth. They shape the narrative, protect their own, and then profit from the chaos. And people fall for it. Not because it's true or people aren't smart, but because it's easier than spending what little free time we have digging for the actual facts. Ground News is a practical tool for seeing each source bias who benefits from any given narrative and who might be hoping you never see the full picture. That's why Ground News created the Blind Spot feed, and that is to highlight stories being ignored by the media. We partnered with Ground News to get you 40% off the vantage plan. That is just $5 per month for unlimited access. Go to Grounds News Maureen or scan my QR code here for tools that will help show the whole truth.
- [59:52]
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- [60:26]
Cultural Critic
We are back. Now let's get into team. And just like that, reactions to the show ending. I say it's a cancellation. I say it's a humiliation. They say it was an elegant decision to quit while they were ahead. So Michael Patrick King issued the equivalent of a news dump. Well, I think HBO did it. The announcement came on Friday. That's a news dump. That's a person or an entity trying to make sure that it kind of disappears over the weekend when people are. Especially in the summer when everybody's otherwise occupied. You can go online and look at his self serving announcement. It's not worth getting into. Next. Over at New York magazine, they went straight into outrage mode. And their caption to a piece by Rachel Hander. I have that right. Or Handler. Sorry, it's handler reads On August 1, 2025, in the middle of an innocent workday, HBO murdered. And just like that, without warning. This is beyond tasteless because Here in New York City a little more than one week ago, a lone gunman armed with a long rifle stormed into a powerhouse office complex in midtown Manhattan and slaughtered four innocent people, including an off duty police officer and wounded another. Legacy media wonders why it's dying. This got through layers of editors. Are you kidding me? Okay, further proof it was a sudden cancellation. Nicole Ari Parker, who plays Lisa Todd Wexler, didn't post her regrets until 9:30pm 9:31pm I marked it. I took a screenshot eastern time. And a more prepared actress would have had that post ready to go. It would have all been synchronized and choreographed. Now I would also like to take this opportunity to remind us because the slavering mainstream media sure won't always laughing at SJP heels of what a true mean girl she is and how shabbily and terribly she treated Kim Cattrall. Not only during the show, during Sex and the City's initial run, but after the death of Kim's brother and how her mean, misogynistic star fucking BFF Andy Cohen helped do her dirty work. And not for nothing, Andy had a cameo on the season of and just like that as Carrie's shop boy. Which says it all. They're not. They're very literal over there. So let's watch Andy ask Sarah Jessica Parker on an older appearance on Watch what happens live, which, by the way, SJP was just on his show a few weeks ago promoting this season. And again, it did not have the sound, feel, tone and tenor of a final season. She was in full glory. Watch, watch. Andy ask his best friend sjp. They've talked about it a million times. And she even says, we talked about it a million times. Why is Kim so mad at you? Here we go. What was your reaction to Kim Cattrall telling Piers Morgan that you were never.
- [63:16]
Character 3
Friends, just colleagues, uh, just heartbroken. I mean, the whole week you and I spoke about it endlessly. Because I was just. I don't know. I was really. I don't know. I found it very upsetting. Cause that's, you know, that's not the way I recall our experience. So it's more mouth work. I don't know.
- [63:45]
Cultural Critic
Okay, you can cut it there. You can cut it there. It's a bunch of bullshit like that. It's a bunch of like, I don't know. I don't know what went on. I don't know. I have no idea what I want. I think she's lying. She's not that great of an actress. She's Lying. She knows exactly what she did. She knows exactly why Kim Cattrall hates her. Hates her guts, you know, and like, I don't recall our experience that way. That's pretty legalistic, if you ask me. Now, let's watch Andy ask Molly Shannon, who co starred with Sarah Jessica Parker in Divorce. This was her HBO project post Sex and the City that was supposed to rebrand Sarah Jessica Parker as a dramatic actress. And she was just playing sjp, like, medicated out of her mind, you know, like, she's like Xanaxed out, getting a divorce. The show is a drag, you know, she chased off, I believe SJP chased off Sharon Horgan, who was a fan. Far finer talent. Sharon Horgan, who is a writer, an actress, like a comic. She is so talented, this woman. And if you. I think she chased her off. And if you have any interest in her, watch Catastrophe, which I believe is on Amazon. Incredible show. So funny. And watch season one of Bad Sisters. The second season isn't so great. But watch those. I highly recommend them. So Andy then has asked Molly, who has clearly been dispatched to carry the fetid water belonging to one sjp, why she thinks Kim is so mad at Sarah. Here we go.
- [65:11]
Character 1
My question is for Molly.
- [65:13]
Cultural Critic
What was going through your mind when.
- [65:14]
Character 1
Kim Cattrall started a feud with your Divorce costar Sarah Jessica Parker?
- [65:19]
Cultural Critic
That caller is a staged friend of Andy's. No, just my opinion.
- [65:24]
Character 1
Just done some press or something. I just think that. I don't think that's the way to handle something. I think if you have something like that would be personal. You should deal with it personally. And Sarah Jessica's just the greatest.
- [65:38]
Cultural Critic
Andy's smirking and laughing. You know what the answer is, Molly? This is none of my business. None of my business. I work with this woman. She's not my friend. I don't know what's going on in Kim Katron. I don't know what their working relationship was like. Don't ask me. But, you know, she had. She had to do her. She had to make her get that check, make sure you get to stay on the show, do Sarah Jessica's bidding. So pathetic. Now the Nerve. We here at the Nerve would like to set the record unequivocally straight. Sarah Jessica Parker offered her unwanted, unbidden sympathies publicly on Kim's social media to make herself look like the better person. And this commenter at Vulture, a site I avidly read under A post dated February 13, 2018, couldn't have said it better when Another commenter defended Sarah for simply just offering condolences and like doing the right thing. This commenter says, except she didn't respond to an interviewer's question, meaning Sarah in expressing her condolences, she posted them in public on Cattrall social media after Cattrall had said late last year that she didn't consider Parker a friend. And that was after Parker and had been on a social media media campaign to blame Cattrall for the third movie not happening. That is what happened. And Cattrall herself addressed this intrusion on Instagram. And this comes from a New York Post report by Johnny Oleksinski. It's detailing how mean SJP and the other two women were to Kim. They froze her out of a group rental when they were filming in Atlantic City, among many other mean girl tactics. Tactics. And here's what Kim had to say on Instagram. Quote, my mom today asked me, when will that Arajessica Parker, that hypocrite, leave you alone? She's talking to Sarah. Your continuous reaching out is a painful reminder of how cruel you really were then and now. Let me make this very in all caps clear, if I haven't already, you are not my friend. Stop exploiting our tragedy to restore your quote, nice girl Persona. And then Kim linked to the New York Post expose headlined Inside the Mean Girls Culture that Destroyed Sex and the City. Now, before I get to our final evisceration of this corpse that frankly, I cannot mutilate enough, let's turn to the social media posts of the cast. First we go to the noxious Cynthia Nixon who posted a 20 picture carousel. You would think she was leaving the White House. You would think she had just brokered a peace between Ukraine and Russia. This included images of the actress who played Che Diaz, but not one picture of Kim Cattrall. Not one. Look at Cynthia Nixon's Instagram here and I'm going to read one of my favorite comments. It's like you are acting like Kim Cattrall never existed. She was a huge part of your story. All caps, huge. And even if you guys are having some kind of grudge for her, that is so disrespectful to act like she wasn't a part of this. And you need to thank her as well. Another comment, not posting a single pic of Kim is passive aggressive times 1000. Kristen Davis. Again, her post is just. It's too boring to read. But check out the comments. One love you Kristen, but this show fucking sucks. Another your friend Cynthia ruined it with her bullshit. Real Life ideologies, truer words. Now onto the New York Post, which they do iconic front pages like they're pieces of art. I think they made this cancellation the front of Saturday's paper. And if you're listening, the COVID says it blares, they ruined sex, exclamation point. Now, I love this cover and my only issue with it is they used a cast photo of the original four, the original quartet. And I think they really should have digitally removed Kim Cattrall because she has nothing to atone for here. And we at the Nerf have put that right. We have, we have redesigned the New York Post cover. It's the nerve version. And Kim is absent, as she should be. Now, per the Post report, this show was not only a colossal cultural embarrassment for a network like hbo, which prides itself on original, high quality content. It's how they attract the talent they want. This show was hemorrhaging money, Hemorrhaging here. A Hollywood veteran tells the Post, quote, it does good, not great, and it's just too expensive. With the actors, creator Michael Patrick King and filming in New York City. And why are they filming in New York City? Because they barely use the city as a character. They could be filming in Toronto, truly. Now, this report says that when the series launched, and just like that, in 2021, the three main cast members were making 1 million per episode or 10 million a season each for that garbage. Deadline reports that the season three premiere was watched by 429,000 households. That's down from a measly 463 in season two. And I believe that accounts for a three day span of delayed viewing. So Sarah Jessica Parker and gird yourself. I mean, gird yourself. If you have not seen this on her Instagram, Michael Patrick King got to do the official announcement. I guess he's the king bitch over there and Sarah is the queen. So she comes in second. And she posted a three minute long. It's not a poem. She wrote it like a poem, but it's just like words stacked on top of words. And she's talking about. The woman is Carrie. She, she, she, she. And it's like a million pictures of her in costume as Carrie and on the set and scenes of her. And we're gonna show a little bit of it, but. And if you want to torture yourself, go look at the whole thing. But this is just to give you a taste of how highly Sarah Jessica Parker regards herself. Here we go.
- [71:39]
Character 3
She crossed streets, avenues, Rubicons. So it seemed she broke hearts, heels, habits. She Loved, lost, won in her sex costume as a candy striper, fell short and into puddles.
- [71:59]
Cultural Critic
Oh, my God. Okay, enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. And you know, I also think this is probably Sarah Jessica Parker trying to come to terms with the truth, which is that she has now successfully fused herself. She's. It's like a welder just took a soldering machine. And here's Carrie and here's sjp. And like now they're Siamese twins for the rest of their lives. And she long ago lost the plot, Sarah Jessica. And she also knows that now she will never, ever really get to play another character. It's done for her. It's done. She is in a prison of her own making. And I'm sure there will be another revival down the line. I'm sure of it. And I think that one will have Carrie abandoned alone in, like, it'll be a five star nursing home. Like they have them in New York City. Like, really, like, nursing homes that are like the four Seasons. And it'll be Carrie's adventures in, like, batting off her geriatric male suitors with like her walking cane and her bedpan. Like, she'll have like a Jonathan Adler bedpan or some shit, you know? Anyway, do you remember this? This also reminded me thinking of where her head might be at right about now because she's. We haven't seen her for days. Like, really. Like, we haven't seen her. If everything was great, trust me, we'd be seeing Backgrid would be called tmz, would be catching her out on the streets in Manhattan, Fifth Avenue, doing a little, you know, retail therapy, enjoying herself, you know, having some really fancy meals. She's not. I think she's out at her beach house in Amaganzit licking her wounds. I do. I think she is. And do you remember how she told Andy Cohen on Watch what Happens Live, that episode I was talking about from a few weeks ago that. So this is a hint to her massive insecurities. He is going on about what a great actress she is. And she's like, yeah, but Andy, like, it's not. It's not cinema. Like, I'm not doing cinema. And then she goes, you know, it's not My Left Foot, which I do think is about as far back as her cinematic references reach. I don't think she's watched anything really serious that predates like, the founding of Miramax. I don't. So I went back and I was like, let Me, look, let me pull up Daniel Day Lewis in my left foot. So this clip just. Again, you gotta watch this episode. Watch Daniel Day Lewis, who is playing a disabled artist. I believe this is based on a true story. He can't speak and so every time he tries to articulate a thought, his mouth, he's like struggling physically with his own mouth. And that's where SJP is getting that mouth work that she's doing is carry from. Okay, so, and he, and, and, but he, he's an artist and he, he does these amazing watercolor paintings using only his left foot. So here's a scene of Daniel Day Lewis in this film trying to get down a flight of stairs on his own. And just picture Sarah Jessica Parker attempting the same. Here we go. He's going step by step on his bum.
- [75:18]
Character 1
Did you paint that?
- [75:23]
Cultural Critic
He's like, yeah, like I can't. And I'm not laughing at Daniel Day Lewis as that character. It's an incredibly poignant performance. I'm not laughing at anyone who struggles with any kind of disability. I'm laughing at the idea of Sarah Jessica Barker trying to pull that off and just dying. Dying in like one of her three multi million dollar townhouses. Or now she's down to two. The one she used as a closet, literally as a closet, she sold going like, I'm capable of that. Why can't anyone see I'm capable? Daniel Day Lewis's level of artistry. Now, finally, I was gonna go longer on this piece and we're running out of time. I mean, I could go to town all day long, but I would encourage any troublemaker. We could do this maybe as we're centralizing like another place for all of us to go and talk amongst each other. Go pull up this profile of Sarah Jessica Parker from the New Yorker magazine. This is from a New Yorker piece dated June 19, 2023. She was profiled by a writer named Rachel Syme. And I don't think Rachel. I mean, first of all, you can see how I've just marked it up like front to back. I've notated it. All the evidence of the crime is in here. All the evidence of who the main perpetrators of this crime are is in this very piece. And you have to look at the portrait. This is so sjp. Look at her in profile. She's always, when she means to look serious, she's always like casting her gaze upward with her coal lined eyes and you know, her mane of hair which, like in this series, she's wearing like 90 pounds of hair extensions. What typically does not happen as one ages is you, like, develop more and more lush hair, you know. Anyway, Rachel is hosting, she's going to be in conversation with Sarah Jessica Parker at the New Yorker Festival this year in October here in Manhattan. And Rachel doesn't get that Sarah Jessica was being a bitch to her in this, in this multi day experience they had. So she could Write this like 34. It's 31 pages, 31 page profile of this hack actress who, by the way, just two points. She says, I would never speak poorly of Kim and then her own husband. So Sarah Jessica Parker famously will not pose for a selfie with her fans. And I think it all comes down to vanity. She can't control the lighting, she can't control the angles. She can't control a poor, a poorly photographed take of herself winding up social, circulating on social media. So instead she'll say, oh, but you know, like, you can have the conversation with me. And then that, that's a much more meaningful thing to, to take away. And she also does this thing that she does as Carrie. We just put her hand, just press it to her chest plate and just push her head forward like this. That's showing, not telling. I'm so empathetic. My heart is so touched. It's hackery. It's hackery now. Even her husband is like. He says to this journalist for the New Yorker, she won't take a selfie with her fans on the street. And Matthew Broderick says, sometimes I'm like, why don't you just take the picture? Then you won't have to stop and hear about how important your show is. He just shipped her in the pages of the New Yorker. He just told the readers. You just told everybody. She's a font of unfillable need. She's gotta hear at every waking minute how important her show about sex is. Okay, so this is the mean girl move. I'm gonna give it to you. Sarah Jessica Parker is like a board member at the New York City Ballet. I don't know exactly what she does, but she always loves to talk about how she suffers from the tyranny of perfect posture. It's like Carrie, like men just can't see past my beauty to my genius. She suffers the tyranny of perfect posture because she was a ballet dancer as a child. I'm gonna guess she was the kind of ballet dancer as a child that I was. In my school, my high school, it was required. We had to take at least three years of ballet I wound up taking four. I preferred it to Jim. Would I call myself a ballet dancer? No. Okay. Anyway, so Sjp says to Rachel, the author of this piece, the journalist, why don't you meet me for opening night of the New York City Ballet up at Lincoln Center? Come meet me, it'll be fun. And so Rachel writes, okay, I'm going to meet a style icon at the opening night for the New York City Ballet and she's on the board and so I better present myself accordingly. And she writes, I chose a frilly blue cocktail dress and a bejeweled choker necklace. When I met Parker before the show at Lincoln Plaza at a restaurant, Parker was reading a dog eared book manuscript and wearing jeans with one of Broderick's old button down shirts. The dress code, perhaps, of someone for whom the ballet is as ordinary as a hot dog lunch. She seemed to sense my embarrassment. That was the point, Rachel. That was the point. Sarah Jessica, you make me want to run home and change, she said. And for the rest of the night she overcompensated by telling me how, quote, pretty I looked. This is a mean girl move non parel. All Sarah Jessica Parker had to do is like, say, hey, listen, don't feel the need to dress up. Don't feel the need to go. Maybe buy a dress that you can't afford on a journalist salary. I typically show up very dressed down. It's not that big of a deal, okay? Instead, she knows that this woman is going to try to impress her and then she has the gall to show up in an oversized like used shirt that belongs to her husband who's like five times her size. I'm not size shaming, I'm just saying Sarah Jessica is super petite and Matthew Broderick is a sizable guy and she's got jeans on and she's not even reading like a new. It's a dog eared book. Everything about her says, you try too hard, Rachel, you're trying too hard and you want my approval, don't you? It's such a mind fuck. If I were Rachel, I would be like, get somebody else to talk to Sarah Jessica at the New Yorker Festival so she can pretend to be an intellect. Oh my God. And then, so they're leaving the restaurant and Sarah Jessica makes a point to stop by a table of older ladies who are properly dressed for the ballet. One is wearing a fur coat and she says to the women, oh, you look beautiful. I noticed you right away. And then she points to Rachel and she goes, can you believe how nicely she's dressed for the ballet. That is who Sarah Jessica Parker is. She is a mean, nasty piece of work who is forever jealous of far more talented actor and who has is going to her grave. Carrie Bradshaw will be in the first graph of her obit. I know that sounds mean, but I think she's a mean person and she foisted this garbage on the culture for many years in service of her own ego. She dragged Kim Cattrall through the mud and guess who's getting the last laugh. One Kim Cattrall who posted on Instagram Friday night an image of a gorgeous, glorious sunset with a heart and a kiss emoji and one simple line. It's the end of a very long week and we're showing it to you now. Kim Cattrall for the win. Now to sign off this very special episode of an epic nerve ending. A nerve ending. We introduce the wood chipper. And the first person to go in the wood chipper is one Sarah Jessica Parker. In she goes. And out comes all that remains, a broken cocktail glass and a shredded tutu. Thank you. Thank you. We bury now. We bury your contribution to the culture. It is no longer wanted and never was it needed. And that does it for our Tuesday edition of the Nerve. Remember to, like, subscribe. Spread the word. Let's keep growing this troublemaker community. I think we're really beginning to move the needle. I got some intel over the weekend that absolutely has convinced me. When we can, we will share it. As always, email me at Maureen A Devil may caremedia media.com DM me on Instagram at Maureen Callahan, writer, or at the Nerve show and we will see all you troublemakers back on Friday at the Nerve, where you will never guess what we're about to say next.