The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Episode Date: January 23, 2026
Title: Ashton Kutcher’s Chilling Comments, the Beckhams' Red Carpet Body Language & a Nerve Glam Tutorial

Episode Overview

This episode of The Nerve dives straight into the rawest corners of pop culture, true crime, and celebrity hypocrisy. Maureen Callahan and her regular expert guests tackle body language breakdowns (with Mark Bowden), scathing responses to Ashton Kutcher’s recent PR spin, a close reading of the Beckhams' red carpet drama, and—on a lighter note—a professional makeup tutorial. Expect sharp humor, a heavy dose of skepticism, and no sacred cows.

Segment 1: Dissecting Celebrity Body Language

[04:06–38:13]

Guest: Mark Bowden (Body Language Expert, TruthPlane)

1. Ashton Kutcher’s PR Spin and Chilling Comments

[04:16–12:19]

• Maureen & Mark analyze Ashton's red carpet remarks regarding his new role in “The Beauty” (a body horror show with Ozempic overtones) and his defensive posture about being judged.
  • Maureen: “Now he is starring allegedly [...] it's like an Ozempic allegory. [...] This is Ashton talking about his new role.” [04:39]
  • Maureen (sarcastically): “There's no such thing as right or wrong. [...] Don't judge me. That's what the nerve is here for, to judge the shit out of people like Ashton Kutcher.” [07:14]
• Mark’s analysis: Ashton reveals contempt for the idea of being judged (asymmetric mouth, raised eyebrows), signaling a PR campaign of “don’t judge me”—aimed at normalizing or excusing bad behavior.
  • Mark: “There's contempt, possibly for the idea of being judged, and also that look of approval for being doing bad things.” [06:30]
  • Mark: “[...] he moves his left hand into the frame and keeps flashing his wedding ring. I'm a good guy. I'm a family man.” [08:48]
• Demi Moore comparison: Ashton’s body language when discussing Demi is anxious, self-soothing (touching throat and neck), and he quickly pivots away, further exposing discomfort and defensiveness.
  • Mark: “Actors need a character to play [to] protect themselves. [...] He's uncomfortable around this idea of talking about her. Notice in the tone of his voice, okay. He speeds up. [...] and very quickly also runs out of energy for it.” [09:55–10:39]

2. The Timothy Busfield Video

[12:19–16:40]

• Context: Busfield’s self-recorded denial after being accused of child sexual abuse.
• Mark’s breakdown: Lack of genuine anger, “supplicant” eyebrows, oblique gaze, and the use of noncontracted language (“I did not”) all signal possible duplicity or a calculated defense.
  • Mark: “If you accused me of that crime, I would look straight down the camera at you, I would get incredibly angry [...] Here it's more oblique.” [14:45, 16:40]
  • Mark: “The innocent will tend to contract more because they want to get to their meaning. The people who are guilty will seem to spend a lot more time trying to get to the point and never really get to the point.” [15:00]

3. Beckham Family Red Carpet Freezing

[18:17–23:02]

• Victoria Beckham’s physical dominance over daughter-in-law Nicola Peltz is seen in her “trophy signal” gestures—pulling Nicola around as an accessory, gripping her wrist possessively, and refusing eye contact.
  • Mark: “This is son's wife as handbag. It’s a satchel. As over the shoulder luggage device.” [19:12]
  • Maureen: “When I choose to let you go, you'll be gone. I'm just. I'm dragging you around right now.” [20:18]
• Nicola’s distress: Mark detects signs of held-back tears and deep discomfort, forecasting possible family schisms.
  • Mark: “I think Nicola's probably been crying or she's about to.” [21:44]

4. Meghan & Harry’s Awkward “Spontaneous” Instagram

[24:03–27:23]

• Analysis: The couple’s heavily staged “joyful” dance video feels forced and over-produced (“fully spontaneous, including the jump cuts”). Their efforts at authenticity—using their child as a supposed videographer, referencing past years—are transparent and ineffective.
  • Mark: “They're trying to do something which is gonna be impossible for them.” [26:36]
  • Maureen: "They don't seem like they actually know each other very well." [25:26]

5. Hoda Kotb & Savannah Guthrie's “Joyride” YouTube Car Interview

[28:40–32:22]

• In-car body language: Hoda is over-eager and intrusive, Savannah is distancing, arm-curled, and both women seem skeptical or uncomfortable—despite attempts to “sell” the concept.
  • Maureen: "You forced me into this. This feels like a forced experiment, but I'm placing an arm here. Like you're not getting too close to me." [29:12]
  • Mark: “Both are skeptical as to how, how and why this will work.” [31:20]

6. Oprah and The Case of Missing Stedman

[32:21–37:48]

• Oprah’s interviews about Stedman: Her body language is telltale—averted eyes, slow approach, tight laughter—which Mark reads as discomfort, defensiveness, and active attempts to control or divert the question.
  • Mark: “She has to look away for this and then slowly bring herself back. [...] She never really gets full eye contact with the interviewer.” [33:09]
  • Maureen: “It's so tight because she's so. She can't believe she's been ambushed with this question.” [34:01, 34:27]
  • Mark, on her laughter: “It builds more tension. So it’s a contrived laugh in many ways.” [35:13]
• In a more recent segment, Mark notes how Oprah's hand gestures aim to “diffuse” the question and take authority—sending a message to the audience and actively refusing to engage at the personal level.
  • Mark: “She wants this message to be controlled and she wants this one to go directly out to the public [...]” [37:20]

Segment 2: In Memoriam—Valentino

[38:13–]

• Maureen reflects on the death of the fashion titan, lamenting the end of an era when designers were auteurs and icons—contrasting with today’s corporate fashion landscape.
  • Maureen: “With his passing goes a breed that has now fully vanished. [...] They are not meant to ever exceed in stature the brand itself. [...] He said, I only like beautiful things. I love that. Who doesn't love beautiful things?" [39:22–43:28]
• Cites iconic Valentino moments and quotes, highlighting the designer’s aesthetic philosophy and his cultural impact.

Segment 3: Oscars, Ashton Kutcher, and Listener Feedback

[43:28–]

• Maureen rails against the growing culture of “bought and paid for” awards, especially Timothée Chalamet’s (nicknamed "Shyamalama Ding Dong") swept wins versus Ethan Hawke’s overlooked, hard-won artistry.
  • Maureen: “It can’t just be minting a runt of the litter like this, okay? Give it to Ethan Hawke, who has earned it well and truly.” [44:53]
• Re-visits Ashton Kutcher’s pattern of disturbing associations and hypocrisy, reading listener feedback about his connections to Scientology and the notorious bet on Mila Kunis at age 14.
• Reads a Dave Chappelle poem (from Def Comedy Jam, 2006) roasting Ashton Kutcher and the “punked” phenomenon—an extended, expletive-laced satire (quoted at length: [48:23–49:53]).
• Discusses John McWhorter’s NYT column defending colorful language and eviscerates the newspaper’s old-fashioned language censorship.

Segment 4: Nerve Glam Tutorial with Tim McKay—Celebrity Eye Makeup

[66:28–84:25]

Featuring: Tim McKay (Celebrity Makeup Artist)

Step-by-Step Eye Makeup (With Product Recommendations)

• Eyeshadow Base:
  • Tim: “This is my absolute favorite eyeshadow primer. [...] The P. Louise eyeshadow base. It comes with all different shades so you can get your perfect skin tone.” [66:53]
• Eyeshadow Application:
  • Use a neutral matte to set the primer
  • Tim: “Matte is really good to take away complete shine and texture. Baked shadow [...] is gonna give you the nice in-between, that satin finish.” [69:06]
  • Build with darker matte in the crease for depth; finish with shimmer in the center of the lid for “pop”
• Blending:
  • “Dry brushing” with a clean brush diffuses everything
• On Camera/Photography Advice:
  • Tim: “You’re gonna lose about 30% of the makeup you’re wearing in photos. [...] Always go about 30% more.” [70:52]
• Eyeliner:
  • Lower lash: Charlotte Tilbury Rock ‘n’ Kohl in Barbarella Brown, blended with brush
  • Upper lid: Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Gel Eyeliner (Espresso Ink/Espresso Brown) applied with an angled brush
  • Tim: “It’s not a slip and slide liquid eyeliner. [...] You need to use your pressure to move it around so you’re really in control.” [76:04]
• Lashes:
  • Tim prefers applying individual clusters over strips for a more natural effect
  • Glue: Duo latex-free
• Mascara:
  • Apply after false lashes to bind real and fake together
  • Avoid lower mascara if you have oily skin to prevent smudging; instead, use powder liner underneath
• Favorite Shadows:
  • “Makeup by Mario” palettes praised for compact size and quality shimmers/mattes [73:11]
• Additional Tips:
  • Barbarella Brown is a universally flattering brown for eyeliner [84:05]
  • Maureen and Tim agree: the finished look is five minutes (not counting commentary and gossip)

All products cited will be listed on The Nerve’s Substack with Tim’s notes.

Pop Culture Banter During Tutorial

• Tim and Maureen discuss “The Pit,” hospital dramas, and TV escapism
• They critique the hair and makeup realism on "The Pit"
• Quick reactions to new Oscar nominations and the new Ryan Murphy show “The Beauty” (very little Ashton Kutcher screentime, and he’s “cringe” in it according to Tim)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Maureen (on judging Ashton Kutcher): “That’s what the nerve is here for, to judge the shit out of people like Ashton Kutcher.” [07:14]
• Mark Bowden (on red carpet body language): “This is son's wife as handbag. It’s a satchel. As over the shoulder luggage device.” [19:12]
• Dave Chappelle (via Maureen): “Fuck Ashton Kutcher, the Public Image Butcher. His shows are a hit and I can’t stand that shit...” [48:23]
• Mark Bowden (reality check for Meghan & Harry): “They’re not great entertainers. They’re not great stars by any stretch of the imagination.” [27:23]
• Maureen (on the death of designers like Valentino): “They just buy these houses up and shuffle designers around. [...] They are guns for hire. That's it. Valentino [...] contributed so much to the culture.” [39:22]
• Tim McKay (on camera-ready glam): “You’re gonna lose about 30% of the makeup you’re wearing in photos. [...] Always go about 30% more.” [70:51]
• Maureen (on makeup): “Like, when I go out into my regular life [...] nobody ever is like, oh, great fake lashes. [...] That’s the goal.” [80:48]
• Maureen (on GLP-1s): “That’s Oprah shoving this shit in America’s faces. Like it's, take your vitamin B pill and your GLP1 pill. Oh, my god.” [after lengthy listener email about weight-loss drugs]

Key Insights

• PR Spin and Celebrity Image:
  Ashton Kutcher’s calculated body language and verbal shrugs reflect a larger Hollywood tendency to launder one’s image with selective non-apologies and narratives of persecution, often at odds with the reality of their actions or associations.
• Family and Power Dynamics:
  The Beckhams, Oprah, and the interpersonal freeze-outs on display show how elite families and couples use public performance, wardrobe, and edited candor to assert or withhold power.
• Skepticism and Authenticity:
  Both Maureen and her guests repeatedly call out the inaptness of celebrity attempts at authenticity—whether forced “spontaneous” Instagram posts, YouTube stunts, or self-recorded denials.
• Pop Culture Remains a Battleground:
  From Oscar campaigns to beauty standards, the episode drives home how pop culture is still fiercely contested terrain—on meaning, values, and who gets to shape the story.

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Ashton Kutcher Body Language + Red Carpet Analysis: [04:16–12:19]
• Busfield’s Video Denial: [12:19–16:40]
• Beckhams Family Drama (Red Carpet): [18:17–23:02]
• Meghan & Harry Instagram Breakdown: [24:03–27:23]
• Hoda & Savannah’s Joyride: [28:40–32:22]
• Oprah & “Where’s Stedman?”: [32:21–37:48]
• Valentino Tribute: [38:13–43:28]
• Oscar Talk & Listener Feedback: [43:28–66:28]
• Makeup Tutorial with Tim McKay: [66:28–84:25]

Tone

Biting, irreverent, and gleefully judgmental. Maureen and her crew blend serious critique with sharp wit and cultural skepticism, never afraid to name names or call out hypocrisy.

For more product recommendations and expanded pop culture commentary, subscribe to The Nerve’s Substack – as promised, all makeup picks from today's demo will be listed there!