← The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
Cheryl Hines’ New Low, Jack Schlossberg's Clown Campaign, and 'The Morning Show’ Hate-Watch
01:26:36
Maureen Callahan goes all in on Cheryl Hines’ new memoir and its obvious omission of several details regarding RFK Jr.’s affair. She also slams Hines' appearance on Bill Maher’s basement podcast and how she pathetically laughed her way through over two hours of conversation that consistently defaulted to something sexual and degrading. She then turns to another Kennedy - Jack Schlossberg - who just announced that he’s running for congress, and notes that his own mother Caroline Kennedy, thinks it’s a terrible idea. Duh! Maureen also delivers the latest update on the party appearance heard around the globe and the deeper reason for Meghan and Harry’s photos getting scrubbed from the Kardashians’ social media pages. Then celebrity makeup artist Tim MacKay joins Maureen for another installation of ‘The Morning Show’ hate-watch. Tim MacKay: https://www.mackaymakeup.com/ 120Life: Go to https://120Life.com and use code NERVE to save 15% Beam: Visit https://shopbeam.com/NERVE and u...
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- [00:01]
Maureen Callahan
When work gets crazy, I like to stop by the bar after, have a few cold ones.
- [00:06]
Marlena Kinsey
I don't drink at all until 4 o'. Clock.
- [00:09]
Tim McKay
We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night.
- [00:12]
Marlena Kinsey
Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks, a few nights a week, it can add up. And suddenly we're at greater risk for long term problems like heart disease, cancer and depression.
- [00:24]
Tim McKay
Reason enough to rethink the drink. More more@rethinktodrink.com Noha Initiative AI agents are.
- [00:32]
Marlena Kinsey
Everywhere, automating tasks and making decisions at machine speed. But agents make mistakes. Just one rogue agent can do big damage before you even notice.
- [00:44]
Tim McKay
Rubrik Agent Cloud is the only platform that helps you monitor agents, set guardrails.
- [00:49]
Marlena Kinsey
And rewind mistakes so you can unleash agents, not risk.
- [00:54]
Tim McKay
Accelerate your AI transformation@rubrik.com that's Ru hello.
- [01:04]
Marlena Kinsey
And welcome to your Friday edition of the Nerve. I am your host Maureen Callahan, and we have a banger of a show for you today. First, RFK Junior's third wife, Cheryl Hines has a new memoir out. It's called Unscripted. I've read some of it and I will explain why I've read some, not all. I'm sure you can guess. We're going to get into it. She also sat down. We call him William Marr. On this podcast, he's more colloquially known as Bill Maher, host of Real Time. She went and sat down with Bill Maher over at Club Random and the set has changed. I am telling you, the Nerve is moving the needle. Okay, We've also got some SJP stuff to show you. The Nerve is moving the needle. So we're going to share some of the best hits from like, he sat with her for like two and a half hours. And I'm going to tell you, based on Cheryl's book and based on other interviews I've seen of her, she's not like a sparkling conversationalist. So we're going to get into it. Then we've got other breaking Kennedy news. This. How do I put it? A lesser light has announced a run for office. And you know, the Kennedys also refused to get the memo. But you know, I think the Nerve's gonna do what the Nerve has been put here on God's green earth to do. Okay, then we've got more breaking news about exactly what Meghan and Harry were up to at the Jenner Kardashian extravaganza over the weekend. And per Rob Shooters reporting on the Nerve with us, just the Other day Rob was on the money and we've got even more details. And these details are so damning. Oh, and we, we have a. We're going to examine a photo that explains it all. Explains. And it's, it's, it's. I swear to you, there is no other mainstream media outlet, by which I mean the extras, the Access Hollywoods, the US weeklies, none of them are gonna come at it this way. Okay. By which I mean the true real way. We've got updates on other. We've got a new offender who, you know, it was only a matter of time before she was going into the woodshed. We're gonna get into it and we've also got your feedback. And Tim the celebrity makeup artist is back for our weekly hate watch. You know, Jennifer Aniston and the morning show. So we've got a lot of great stuff. Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go. As the season changes to colder weather, blood pressure tends to rise due to the constricting of blood vessels, increased salt cravings and less physical activity. But here is the good news. You have the power to take control with One20Life. 120Life is a blend of great tasting super fruit juices that can actually help lower your blood pressure naturally. It is trusted by over 1000 health professionals and used by people just like you who have seen real measurable results. You can try it yourself risk free with their two week trial. Just go to 120life.com and use code Nerve, that's N E R v to save 15%. You can track your progress with a very simple blood pressure monitor and watch those numbers drop. Feel the difference. Plus it's completely risk free. If you don't see lower numbers in two weeks, you get your money back. Go to 120life.com that's120life.com remember to use code nerve to save 15%. This is serious. This is your life we're talking about. And 120 life can help. Don't wait. Take control of your health. Today. Cheryl Hines is out in these mean streets Hawk and her memoir. Now this is a powerful, very competitive season for memoirs and they are of a single stripe really. They are women in politics and or political wives. You've got before Cheryl, Kamala Harris, Karine Jean Pierre, Michelle Obama. And now it's Cheryl Hines. Turn. Okay. Cheryl Hines got a book deal because of who she's married to and because her husband had an affair, one that we know of with the political journalist Olivia Newsi and The both of them have always contended that the affair was digital in nature, which I don't think is the smartest word word, because digital has dual meanings. You guys know what I'm talking about. And that they never had sex in person, although Olivia has sources who maintain that they would often say at the end of these FaceTime sex sessions that they loved each other. Now, Cheryl, again, this is why she got the book deal. She's supposed to be talking about the affair and how she got through it and all of that stuff and is not in here. Okay? Those of you who are buying this book, you're buying it on a false premise. And as an avid book buyer and reader, and trust me when I tell you there's few things that there are. Excuse me, few things I love more than a really good, juicy Hollywood memoir or political memoir or biography. When people are selling something that they're not actually providing, nothing makes me crazier. Okay, don't buy this book and I'll tell you kind of what's in it. But I'll give you a hint of what she's out there selling, per People magazine, the headline. Oh, and by the way, Olivia's never mentioned by name. And you know who else is in this book? RFK Jr. S second wife, Mary Richardson Kennedy, who is in Ask Not. Okay. Mary was the wife that RFK Jr. Treated so terribly, and when they were separating, he cut off her $20,000 a month, court ordered spousal support and child support. I believe those were the two. He was cutting her off at the knees. She was in debt to, like, American Express. She would drop off the kids at the school run and have to ask fellow mothers at their very wealthy Westchester enclave if they had 20 bucks she could borrow so she could gas up her car or get something to eat that morning. Okay? And then Bobby and Cheryl were out publicly dating. Okay? And they moved into a home a stone's throw from the marital home that Mary had shared with Bobby and turned into a Kennedy museum. Cheryl was out tweeting like. Like. Like a 12 year old. Oh, guess where I am at? I'm at Armonk's Burgers, you know, with little Aiden Kennedy, who, like, marries kids with Bobby, like, oh, it's. The food is so good. We're having such a good time. This kid is turning me into, like, a rabid Red Sox fan. You know, stuff like this that was meant to really fucking kill Mary, like, spiritually. You know what I mean? Like, hey, I'm with your kids and they love me. Now I'm the new woman in your husband's life, and I'm taking everything. I'm not only taking your husband, I'm taking your kids. My interpretation. And Mary Richardson wound up killing herself in the family barn. She hanged herself. And it gets worse from there. Okay? So I have zero fucking sympathy for Cheryl Hines, who's out here flogging a memoir about her experience now as a Kennedy wife who, guess what, got cheated on by the same husband who was abominable to the mother of his children. Okay? In case you're wondering what I thought. All right, so now Cheryl goes over to Bill Maher's lair, his den. Now, as I have previously said, that den, like, I wouldn't go in there without some luminol spray and a blue light to see what kind of bodily fluids have been emanated lo those many months, if not years. But in going to look at this most recent episode. Guess what, you guys, guess what? The set has changed. And it's now, like, in this really, really small corner of the basement. I believe this is Bill's basement. But it's incredibly well lit. Like, you can see in there. You can see. And the chairs are, like, red. And. And. And it. And it looks more like. What would I just. It look. It looks more like, you know, nobody's going to get up to anything sinister. That's how I would put it. Now, Bill, never change, okay? Never change. Okay? He walks in. Where do you see when he walks in? Because you're gonna. You're gonna die at the. At the change of the set. Again, I'm gonna give the nerve a little credit here. If Bill's not watching, he's definitely got somebody watching and giving a full report. So let's watch Bill walk in. To his surprise, his guest is waiting right there. Here we go.
- [11:04]
Maureen Callahan
And Cheryl, I know, is here.
- [11:06]
Marlena Kinsey
Hi.
- [11:07]
Maureen Callahan
Don't get up.
- [11:08]
Marlena Kinsey
Don't get up. Okay, I won't get up. I'm all pending.
- [11:10]
Maureen Callahan
I adore you from here. You look awesome. How are you?
- [11:13]
Marlena Kinsey
I'm good.
- [11:13]
Maureen Callahan
How are you? I look great. I'll try to find Halloween colors because it's right before Halloween. Oh, your book. I'm told by your book already.
- [11:23]
Marlena Kinsey
So he knocks over her book, okay? So her book has been placed very carefully on Bill's armrest. And he is meant to either grab the book before he sits down or sit down and then grab the book and hold up the book. Now, this is a little industry trick that unless you're out trying to sell a book, you would Never know when a host, like I'll just give you my notebook holds up someone's book that actually gooses book sales. And that's how you can tell if a host really likes a guest who's got a book out. Cause they'll hold up the book multiple times or they'll show the full screen of the book jacket, but instead Bill laughs about knocking over the book. I mean again, it's much more well lit now, but it still feels like very tight confines, you know, like there's no windows in there and there's no way like a woman's gonna run very quickly. I'm not saying anything, Bill, you know, I'm just saying. And anyway, so he knocks the book over and he laughs about knocking the book over and then he leaves it on the floor. Which is the equivalent of saying, I don't take your book seriously and I don't really take you seriously, but I know you're going to give me a lot of clicks and eyeballs because your husband's a very controversial guy. Now, before we get into what passes for the meat of this conversation, we have to be made privy to, again, against our will, more of Bill's sexual peccadillos. And what this champion of women's rights in the likes of the Middle east, save for Saudi Arabia, cuz he had Louis C K on a couple of weeks ago, who is going to do the Chop Chop Comedy festival in Riyadh. And then Bill kind of backtracked on like, you know. Yeah, there's a legitimacy to going over to Saudi Arabia. Yeah. Okay, Bill. So anyway, you know, we all contain multitudes and for Bill, there's only one color of lingerie that he will not tolerate in the boudoir. Let's go.
- [13:34]
Maureen Callahan
I do not like red on women.
- [13:36]
Marlena Kinsey
You don't?
- [13:37]
Maureen Callahan
No. And I've had a number of women over the years. There's been a lot of try to.
- [13:41]
Marlena Kinsey
Impress you with red.
- [13:43]
Maureen Callahan
Well, they. I feel they think men are like a bull.
- [13:46]
Marlena Kinsey
Yeah.
- [13:47]
Maureen Callahan
And you know, if you wear it attracts.
- [13:49]
Marlena Kinsey
It attracts like.
- [13:50]
Maureen Callahan
Like red. Like blood red lingerie. Such a turn off to me.
- [13:54]
Marlena Kinsey
I did not know that.
- [13:55]
Maureen Callahan
Well, why would you?
- [13:57]
Marlena Kinsey
Well, we've never talked about it until now, but I'm glad to know. I am glad to know. But that's odd. But there. Because lingerie stores, it's mostly black and red. No.
- [14:11]
Maureen Callahan
Well, no, there's like powder blue, you know, I like those kind of pastel.
- [14:17]
Marlena Kinsey
Something soothing, right? Is that what you're saying?
- [14:21]
Maureen Callahan
To even out my intensity? Exactly. No, I don't know that that's why, but I just, like, you know, I don't like thick, loud clothes on women. Like, I don't like.
- [14:37]
Marlena Kinsey
I'm dying. Oh, I'm wearing leather. Awkward.
- [14:41]
Maureen Callahan
No, no, I mean, it looks great on you.
- [14:43]
Marlena Kinsey
Backtrack. Okay. Thank you.
- [14:46]
Maureen Callahan
It's sort of like.
- [14:47]
Marlena Kinsey
But like. Like some S M type of a. No. You like that?
- [14:51]
Maureen Callahan
No, I'm just someone who, like, I might be, like, touching during the night, you know, like, you're at a.
- [14:57]
Marlena Kinsey
You don't need this in the middle of the night. It's just. I tried to get to the bottom.
- [15:01]
Maureen Callahan
Of it just too.
- [15:02]
Marlena Kinsey
Okay, that's enough. That's fine. We're good. We're good, we're good, we're good, we're good. So I have several takeaways from that little exchange. Number one, Bill says not only does he not like red on women, and he doesn't understand why women think men like them in red. Because, Bill, there's a reason red lipstick has forever been a thing like that. The ancient Egyptians were figuring out ways to make red pigment out of clay and put it on their lips because it signals sexual availability and readiness, you dummy. Secondly, so he says he doesn't like red because, you know, it feels too, I guess, assertive for him. But he uses the. He uses the phrase blood red, which I find very interesting. So he does not like a menstruating woman. Okay. And he dates women only in that age range. Okay. Number one. And then number two, Cheryl Hines is like, oh, I'm wearing leather. Like, you don't like women in leather. And by the way, there's so many different ways to wear leather that. That aren't, like, you know, like, you're a threatening, like, entity. Like, what about a really beautiful fine leather trench coat or leather boots? Or, you know, like, this guy's got issues. Okay? And anyway, so she says, well, I'm wearing leather pants. And he's like, oh, I'm not saying that. Like, they look great on you. She's like, backtrack. Two things. I think Cheryl Hines at a very early age. This is just a theory. It's a psychological theory. I think she knows how to deal with difficult men. I think she knows how to laugh. And I don't mean knows how. I think her way is. A better way to put it of dealing with difficult men is to appease and to laugh off inappropriateness or offensive remarks rather than be like, hey, wait a second. Back that up. What are you talking about? Like, I Don't like that. Like, did I hear you right? No, no, no, no, no. This is why she's with Bobby Jr. Secondly, it seems like she's drinking a cocktail there. And Bobby Jr. Has been openly an Alcoholics Anonymous for decades and was a hardcore heroin addict. So I wonder how that marriage works where you've got one person who is in hardcore reportedly active recovery and a spouse who's not sober. I'm not saying she's got a problem. I don't think she does. But I'm just saying, like, that can't be easy. Okay, now back to Bill. You know, I know Cheryl's supposed to be selling a book here, but first we gotta talk about Bill's sex life and everything he loves and everything he hates. Bill is going to talk about. He's going to use a phrase he used with Barbara Eden. And you know, I can only take this as Bill doubling down on what the Nerve had to say about his appalling treatment of the 90 year old Barbara Eden. And not to worry, we'll revisit it on the Nerve Awards. Here we go.
- [17:55]
Maureen Callahan
People who are like fans and they're like too nervous, Right. When you go to have sex, people.
- [17:59]
Marlena Kinsey
He'S gonna sleep with, they.
- [18:01]
Maureen Callahan
They're just frozen, I'm telling you. Yeah, yeah. It's happened more than once.
- [18:05]
Marlena Kinsey
Fans are just too odd. By the great Balmar in bed, they're like, I can't believe I'm doing it.
- [18:09]
Maureen Callahan
I guess so. I guess so.
- [18:12]
Marlena Kinsey
He says, I guess so.
- [18:13]
Maureen Callahan
And then that it's so much better to have somebody like, first of all. Yes. You know, they like you for you.
- [18:20]
Marlena Kinsey
Yeah.
- [18:21]
Maureen Callahan
And they're not like overwhelmed by the experience.
- [18:24]
Marlena Kinsey
Yeah.
- [18:27]
Maureen Callahan
That's not exactly a pussy Wetner. Being overwhelmed.
- [18:31]
Marlena Kinsey
There it is. If you have children in the room, cover their ears. Bill said it again. A pussy Wetner. Wetner. He's not. The grammar I'm going to put aside right now. I need to speak directly. And we will have this conversation on a later nerve. Marlena, I gotta get you off Bill Maher. I gotta get you off your crush on this guy, okay? He's saying that if you admire him, nay, if you're a fan, you couldn't possibly have a sexual experience with him because you would be just frozen up by his awesomeness and by his greatness. And he hasn't even done anything yet. If you say so, Bill. If you say so. Oh, my God. I just lost my brooch. Holy shit. Okay, next, Bill is going to tell Cheryl what the only two pleasures in life are. Here we go.
- [19:34]
Maureen Callahan
There's only two real pleasures in life.
- [19:36]
Marlena Kinsey
I can't wait.
- [19:39]
Maureen Callahan
I think there's doing spaghetti. There's do. No, there's doing what we're doing. Just talking, having an awesome time. Connecting mentally. Like having a couple of drinks, smoking, and just. There's just this. Nothing like mental ping pong.
- [19:55]
Marlena Kinsey
I agree.
- [19:55]
Maureen Callahan
And fucking. Everything else is kind of secondary. I mean, yes, you're just feeling kind.
- [20:00]
Marlena Kinsey
So you get to do it again.
- [20:01]
Maureen Callahan
Well, just. No, there's something wonderful about, you know, taking a bath and snuggling up and watching a movie and like, you know, bowling.
- [20:09]
Marlena Kinsey
This is very intimate because you don't do it.
- [20:11]
Maureen Callahan
Dinner with friends. But it's. Nothing is as good as this. Or fucking because it's.
- [20:16]
Marlena Kinsey
Oh, my God. You're truly connecting with somebody.
- [20:18]
Maureen Callahan
I've said to people, I've said, I hate that I have to decide between kissing you and talking to you.
- [20:26]
Marlena Kinsey
This is a dark mind again. I don't think this guy really likes women. Okay. Why is it an either or proposition? You know, number two, he doesn't want smart women. He doesn't. If he really wanted to be with a smart woman, he would be with a woman who was accomplished and was somewhere in his age range and, you know, had her own shit going on. He wouldn't be out with, like, Al Pacinos leftovers. Okay. Thirdly, what was the other thing I was gonna say about this? Oh, the only real pleasures in life are having a conversation when you're drunk and high, drinking, smoking weed, whatever, and having sex. So there are no pleasures to be found. Creating something or experiencing great works of art or being awed by antiquities when you travel different cultures or spending time with family members or having kids or being around kids and seeing the world through their eyes and, like, the purity at which they come with the come at the world and like the things that they like. No, Bill's got a very, very myopic limited. Or, like, reading a great book by a fire on a snowy night. I can name a million things. A dog, you know, a new puppy. Like, get out this guy. It's sad, okay? It's sad over there. It's sad. Now, Bill, we're gonna skip over daytime tv. We're gonna get right to Bill opining on Doug Emhoff. Now, Doug, Dougie Doug, as I like to call him, is Kamala's husband. And Doug, you may recall, I columned on it a lot. I've spoken about it on the nerve. Megyn Kelly took this guy to the woodshed. Every chance she got, he smacked a former girl, a girlfriend at the time, smacked her in the face, open handed outside a gala at Cannes in France. An A list gala. Lots of celebrities there on the red carpet. She was just trying to get their car to come faster. And she made the mistake of talking to a male valet. And Doug didn't like it. He didn't like it. It emasculated him. And he went right over and he smacked this woman so hard in the face that she spun around on very, very high spike heels. Okay, now this was not really covered by the media. Bill has some thoughts. And you know, again, this is what. This is where, like, there are aspects of Bill Maher that I enjoy. I enjoy often. I really do. I watch Real Time every week. It's why I go hard on Bill, because when he's a disappointment, he's a real disappointment. But here he's got some stuff, stuff to say on Doug Emhoff, and I like it. Okay, here we go.
- [23:22]
Maureen Callahan
You mean the almost first gentleman? Did you know him?
- [23:28]
Marlena Kinsey
No, no.
- [23:28]
Maureen Callahan
Doug, Doug.
- [23:30]
Marlena Kinsey
Oh, stop, Cheryl, stop. I don't. I just read the book. I think that's his last name.
- [23:37]
Maureen Callahan
Well, I think Doug Emhoff has heard the words that sounds right about him many times in his life. Anyway, Doug Emhoff, who, look, I'm sure is a very nice guy. I don't know why I have to bring this up, but we're talking about.
- [23:50]
Marlena Kinsey
He's not a nice guy, Bill.
- [23:51]
Maureen Callahan
You know, he was incredibly accused of sexual misfeasance, shall we say, during the campaign.
- [23:58]
Marlena Kinsey
Oh, I didn't know that.
- [24:00]
Maureen Callahan
Really?
- [24:01]
Marlena Kinsey
He means malfeasance. No, there was a lot. Which is the wrong word anyway.
- [24:06]
Maureen Callahan
Well, that just shows you when the left wing bubble wants to close the wagons and make you not see it. No, look, I'm not saying he did anything that should have disappeared.
- [24:17]
Marlena Kinsey
He's so drunk he's slurring his words.
- [24:19]
Maureen Callahan
But they just did cover it up. And it was very similar to other things that they have blown crazy out of proportion, it seems.
- [24:27]
Marlena Kinsey
Cheryl will not engage.
- [24:28]
Maureen Callahan
It was in Khan. He was on a date. It was before Kamala and. Oh, because just acted like, oh, that's okay. It was before her horrible misogynistic way, and it was just like, no, no, he's her husband. We don't see that. You know, they did him on Saturday Night Live in sketches, and it was just like, oh, kind of boring, you know, Doug, your sweet dog. And like that thing was just when.
- [24:55]
Marlena Kinsey
They wanted Charles reaching for her cocktail.
- [24:57]
Maureen Callahan
A person or an idea. Yeah, they take that very seriously.
- [25:06]
Marlena Kinsey
Cheryl will not be drawn into this conversation. Wonder why she is married into the most misogynistic political dynasty America has ever seen. I believe that her current husband, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Drove his already extremely emotionally and psychologically fragile wife, who her therapist talked to me for Ask not okay. And she told me a lot, and it's in the book. And she told me of a session in which Bobby, Cheryl's husband, accompanied his then wife Mary to a counseling session more than once. But in one particular counseling session, he turned to Mary's therapist, Dr. Sheena Hankin, and said, you know what I'd like you to do? I'd like you to declare my wife mentally ill. And Dr. Hankins said, I'm not going to do that. Because your wife isn't mentally ill. Your wife is upset and depressed because she found your sex diaries in which you listed the names of all the women that you've been fucking around with, some of whom happen to be Mary's friends. I'm extrapolating. I've seen those sex diaries. Okay. You think Cheryl's gonna get into it about a bad boy political spouse who treats women like shit? She comes from a family where they leave them for dead or lobotomize them or rape them. And we're gonna get into another Kennedy who's making his debut on stage, and it's not gonna go well for him. I can promise him that. Now, as we're talking about Cheryl's first literary endeavor, Bill says that her tits look great. Here we go.
- [26:49]
Maureen Callahan
But I'm always an honest person. If your tits look great, I'm going to say your tits look great.
- [26:53]
Marlena Kinsey
That's exactly what you said.
- [26:54]
Maureen Callahan
If the left is driving me crazy, I'm going to call them out. If Trump is doing crazy things, I'm going to call him out. But, you know, tits are no exception.
- [27:03]
Marlena Kinsey
Yeah.
- [27:04]
Maureen Callahan
If your tits look great, and they do, I am not going to hide it from the public.
- [27:10]
Marlena Kinsey
Do you see what I mean about Cheryl Hines being sort of like, I think, a fundamentally broken person? This. This. This sleazy creep is sitting there going, you know what? I'm just gonna, like. Like he's framing it like she should be grateful to him because he's got the cojones to tell it how it is. And, hey, if it's the Republicans, he's gonna call them out. So he's intellectualizing it, right? Because she's. That's her fear that she's not smart enough to be in the room with all these like smart guys, hey, this the Republicans doing wrong. I'm gonna call him out. As it's the left doing wrong. I'm going to call them out and if your tits look great, I'm going to have the stones to tell you. And she sits there and she goes, that's what I love about you. Instead of being like, Bill, why the fuck are you sexually objectifying me? I'm married, okay? I may be married to a creep who like sleeps with anything that moves, but hey, that's my burden to bear. Stop talking to me like this. I'm a 60 something year old woman. I can't get acting work anymore. I don't have to put up with the casting couch and this shit. She sits there and she takes it. Wonder if she's still married to this guy. He publicly humiliated her with a much younger political journalist. And he apparently didn't even actually have the physical sex to make it worth it. And she's still with him. Okay, finally, because I can never get enough of this admission of Phil's, I do wonder how much the chemicals have sort of like, you know, contributed to the decrepitude of like the frontal lobe, which I do believe would keep one from making such admissions that are actually humiliating. But again, he thinks that they prove he's a really just a real lothario. Here we go. Bill masturbates before his show.
- [29:02]
Maureen Callahan
They, they said that I masturbated before the show in the dressing room.
- [29:06]
Marlena Kinsey
Why did they say that?
- [29:07]
Maureen Callahan
Because I did.
- [29:10]
Marlena Kinsey
I think he still does. Okay? This is a guy who is so in awe of how awesome he is that the only way he can work out that self love is by jerking off before any given show. And it would track. You know, we will get into this on a future Nerf, probably the awards, but once you see it, you can't unsee it. When Bill does his monologue and then when he goes and he sits back down at his desk, he is forever taking his hands and fiddling with his belt buckle and he's really, you can see him trying to keep that hand from going any lower to his member. Okay? It's so strange. I can't believe that not a single network exec ever went to Bill and said, you need to watch this game film and you need to stop doing this. We need to retrain you like the animal you are. Now on to Jack Schlossberg, JFK's grandson, daughter of Caroline. He has made himself something of a laughingstock on Instagram. He Seems to be. How would I put this? I mean this is a family where. And I'm not making light of it, mental illness is. Runs rampant. And he's like 32 or 34. He's never had a job except as political correspondent for Vogue. And we'll get to some of those contributions. And he has announced his run for Congress from his home state of New York. So Jack went on msnbc. This was a prerecord. And the way they, if you go look at it, at it on YouTube, the, the, the header for this clip is history is watching this moment. Yeah, I'll bet it is. So Jack announced with like a full professional photo shoot on Instagram. And the New York Post did this very clever thing. They did a side by side of Jack Schlossberg on a bike in a suit in the street in New York City and a backwards cap. And it is, is an exact replica of the way JFK Jr. His uncle used to roll around New York City down to the pant leg. I believe it's like the left leg. It's the very specific leg where the pant leg is pushed up so it doesn't get caught in the chain. Which by the way is something that like kids in like poorer neighborhoods do not. Scions of political dynasties, no matter how problematic. Now JFK Jr did he kill his wife and her sister in a wholly avoidable plane crash that may or may not have been a murder suicide? Yes. Is he the guy we want to mimic for said inaugural run for a major seat? Sure it is. Okay. Now this kid has problems, okay? His mother, according to the New York Post, within like hours or maybe a day of his, of him running or sources close to Caroline. So it's Caroline tell the Post she is quote, living in fear that her controversial son, he's a failure. Okay? This is a parenting fail. Jack Schlossberg's run. This is a guy who spends all of his free time, which is all this guy's got. Cuz he doesn't have a job, roaming through the aisles of like his local CVS and lip syncing to whatever track they're playing and through the loudspeaker like this is what this kid is doing with his life, okay? She doesn't want him running for Congress because she's afraid he's a target for violent haters. Listen, this guy, okay, okay? The quote. Caroline has pleaded with Jack not to run, but he seems determined to follow in the political footsteps of his grandfather, President John F. Kennedy Jr. Will Jack be statutorily Raping interns in the White House? Will Jack be driving his future wife to a mental institution because she's up to upset with him for cheating? Will Jack be throwing orgies in the White House pool? Will Jack be possibly involved in. You know what? I could go on. I could go on. But this is all being framed as though Jack is putting his very life in danger by entering the family business, you know, get out. Okay? Caroline herself tried to be handed Hillary Clinton's Senate seat from New York when Hillary ejected that seat to make a run for president. And she's basically went to the governor of New York and was like, give it to me. And he was like, no, go make the media rounds at least. And she tried making the media rounds, and New York tabloids and press and even the New York Times laughed her out of the room because she couldn't string a fucking sentence together, okay? But she thinks this kid is so dangerous with his edgy thoughts and ideas and his provocative nature that, like, he's gonna get some. Some harm is gonna come to him. Okay? This is the mind we're dealing with. Jack interviewing the aforementioned Doug Emhoff. These guys. Doug Hemhoff's got more in common with the Kennedys than you might think. But let's hear what Jack's got to ask this guy. Here we go.
- [34:22]
Tim McKay
Hi, I'm Jack. I'm here with two amazing gentlemen. The second gentleman, Doug, and the original gentleman, Dave. And I invented a game and I wanted to see if they would play with me.
- [34:33]
Maureen Callahan
Cool.
- [34:33]
Tim McKay
It's called condiment or sauce. Okay. Ketchup, Condiment.
- [34:36]
Maureen Callahan
Food group. Good.
- [34:38]
Tim McKay
Great point. Sauce, ranch dressing, Salad dressing. It's a food. What is?
- [34:43]
Maureen Callahan
No.
- [34:43]
Marlena Kinsey
Wrong.
- [34:44]
Tim McKay
Condiment.
- [34:44]
Marlena Kinsey
Condom.
- [34:45]
Maureen Callahan
No.
- [34:45]
Tim McKay
Barbecue sauce and sauce. Right.
- [34:51]
Marlena Kinsey
Are you kidding me? Jack Schlossberg. This is from the election of 2024. So it's a year ago. Chewing gum, smacking gum in his mouth and asking Doug Emhoff and David Letterman. I have no idea why David Letterman is there. And by the way, of the three of them, Dave Letterman's the smartest. No question. He's a smart guy. Smart, smart guy. You don't wanna be on the receiving end of that rapier wit. And only idiot men of a certain age who still lionize the Kennedys would play along goofily like that with that moronic bullshit as if this kid is a star. Are you kidding me? Now, as discussed, I am no fan of RFK Jr. Okay? I am not a fan. But I don't believe in mocking people for things that they cannot help. I Don't believe. And by the way, you know, it was the Kennedy family. It was Eunice Kennedy who established the Special Olympics because her sister Rosemary was forcibly lobotomized by her father, Jack's great grandfather, Joe Kennedy Sr. Who forcibly lobotomized the beautiful young Rosemary, his daughter. And as I posit and ask, not based on what friends of the family long suspected, they were afraid that Joe Sr. Was sexually abusing Rosemary and that Rosemary, who had learning disabilities and had begun acting out, was about to out that secret. And so, against his wife's wishes, against the mother's wishes, Rose, and against the stated objections of his favorite daughter, Kik, who said, no, Daddy, that's nothing we want for Rosemary, he went and had Rosemary lobotomized. And she lived the rest of her days out hidden away in a facility in Wisconsin with the physical and mental capabilities of a two year old. And until Rose Kennedy died, not a single family member knew where she was, let alone was able to visit her. And I cannot imagine a fate worse than that. I think death would have been kinder to Rosemary. And so Eunice founded the Special Olympics to give an outlet to and pay honor to her sister and anyone who lives in a differently abled body. Here's Jack, who would have you believe he's the fucking standard bearer. Now move out of the way. He's the fucking Kennedy to beat. Here he is mocking his uncle's disorder, his speech disorder. Here we go. Hey, everybody. I. I'm trying to figure out the right present to get Donald Trump for the inauguration.
- [37:53]
Maureen Callahan
So I found a really rare animal.
- [37:56]
Marlena Kinsey
And killed it, and I'm gonna give it to him if I'm running against Jack, Ken, Jack Schlossberg, he's gonna put Kennedy in there. Trust me, okay? It's going to be Jack Kennedy. Schlossberg. It's a matter of time. Mark my words. I would just have his oppo research. Research team, excuse me, scroll through his Instagram and all of the people he's made fun of and all of the names that he's called people. And oh, all the. There. There was a great feature. The New York Post actually ran it, I want to say, over the summer, in which Kennedy family members spoke to the Post and made clear that Caroline and Jack were now Persona non grata. Once the stars of the family, the only living direct descendants of Jack and Jackie, they were Persona non grata. You know why? Jack is a liability. They think Jack needs serious mental help. They implied that Jack may have a drug and alcohol issue. Their implication not mine. So, you know, we'll see how this goes. Next up, your feedback. Back in a minute. Beam's cyber sale is now open for early access, but only for 48 hours. Nerve listeners get up to 50% off when you go to shopbeam.com nerve and use code Nerve at checkout. That breaks down to only $1.08 per day to revamp your health routine for the better. Up to 80% of women deal with hormonal imbalances and it's tough to feel like yourself when your body's completely out of whack. But Glow by Beam has created a women's super powder with 18 powerhouse ingredients. Just mix one 10 calorie packet into your water daily and start feeling great. It's that simple. Like I said off the top, for a limited time, Beam is offering Nerve listeners up to 50% off glow early access to their cyber sale is live and exclusive to you. This price only lasts for the next 48 hours. Just visit shopbeam.com nerve and use code nerve at checkout. That's shop b e a m.com nerve and don't forget to use Code Nerve for your exclusive discount of up to 50% off. Remember when laundry day meant literally your entire day sorting loads, switching machines, forgetting wet clothes until they needed washing again, Those days are over. The new Samsung Bespoke AI laundry combo takes clothes from dirty to dry in as little as 68 minutes. No transfers needed. A new way to do laundry is here from the brand rated number one in customer satisfaction Samsung. Visit samsung.com bespoke to learn more. Based on most customer satisfaction awards, home appliance surveys, leading Customer Research Organization 2020 through 2024. We are back. Now, before we get into your feedback, I've got to address this with you. This is, you know, there's been a bunch of stuff going back and forth about why were the photos of Harry and Meghan From Kris Jenner's 70th 007 themed birthday bash scrubbed from the Internet, and particularly Chris and Kim's Instagram feeds. And Rob Shooter was right. All of the reporting says that Meghan and Harry or their team got in touch with Kim and with Chris and said take them down. And. And according to the Daily Mail, which has the exclusive reporting on this, Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian are fucking furious. And they are outraged because it is completely, once again, they're making enemies everywhere they go here. Now, the question was why? Why would these two attend a party thrown for the fame whores of all? Fame whores and not expect to have their photos taken. That is part of the blood oath upon entering Satan's lair, is it not? This is my theory as to why they demanded these photos be taken down. We are going to look at this one. Just this one. It's Harry standing in front of Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner's back is to the camera. Megan is standing in between Harry and Chris. Megan has her hand awkwardly placed on Chris's back and she's looking at Chris like, we're friends, right? You like me. Like I'm a likable person who has friends, right? Like really famous friends who gets invited to stuff like this. Now, now, she's not looking at Harry, who is. Look at his face. Okay, zoom in and look at Harry's face. First of all, he looks drunk. He looks drunk, he looks wasted. His expression is slack, his eyes are glassy and they're practically bursting out of his head staring at Kris Jenner's bosom. Okay? He is openly leering at a 70 year old woman's rack. And I'm being crass here because Harry's crass. And if he did that here, he's done it before. And you know what it says to the world? That Meghan Markle knows she's married to a loser. That Meghan Markle knows she's married to a child. You know she's married to somebody who can't even pretend to have the decorum. A Prince of the Blood who is given training like this for situations like this from the moment he was born. But no, this is her oath. This is her loser. And she's got to dance with the one that brought her. Okay, it's my theory. It's my theory. As your criminal cultural prosecutor, I think I just cracked that case. Okay, now to your feedback, which I have right here. Wait, hang on. Okay, here it is. Okay. Dearest Maureen, this is from. Oh, she does not want me to use her name. I am beyond. She. Oh, she's very happy. She found the nerve. Okay, now, in the 90s, I worked at a luxury five star hotel in Beverly Hills. We were frequented by countless celebrities, Oprah and her boyfriend, in quotes. Stedman stayed with us in the penthouse suite while the insufferable Miss O never graced us with her presence. Stedman did. In my more than six year tenure, he was by far the rudest, nastiest guest that ever walked through the doors. Just as troublemakers report, he literally would bang his closed fist while screaming his demands on the desk. Bad dude. Happier note the Kindest, loveliest, most humble guest that ever graced us with his presence, Walter Cronkite. Maureen, I think you and Rob Shooter missed the main point. With Gail not sharing Buzz, I would bet that she is an ironclad chastity belt type NDA. She signed for Oprah and in anyone, anyone in Oprah's circle, such as Stedman. This troublemaker loves the troublemaker community that we're all building here and says love to you, your brother Bill, from Brooklyn, producer Marlena, Kinsey, Mark, Tim, Teddy and everyone at Team Nerve. Maureen, this is regarding Nikki Glaser, whose SNL what passed for a monologue which I found profoundly disturbed and based on your feedback, you guys 100% agreed with me. If you didn't see it, you can catch it in our most recent nerve. How disgusting. Yes, Nikki is hugely insecure for sure, but. But to joke about sex trafficking and child molestation, to bring up one of these is really bad. Let alone to be on tasteless. Gilbert Gottfried once joked about. I'm not gonna even say it. I won't even say this. I never saw him the same way. Put that wood chipper on the highest setting. You got it. Hi Ma. I never send emails to those I do not know, but here we go. You are my exact opposite. And yet I think we are the same person, only born into different environments with totally opposite backgrounds. I ranch with my husband. She says she is a 65 year old ranch. Her like ranch and then her, which I think is so cute out here in the sandhills of Nebraska. The nearest town is an hour away via dirt road. You, my dear, are my guilty pleasure. I love this When I check the cows every day on my four wheeler, I travel through pastures and hills without seeing any signs of civilization. I talk to my cows, greeting them with good morning girls. Hey girls, how are you? But now, thanks to the Nerve, I greet them with hello, troublemakers. Hey, Maureen. Okay, the Meghan Markle excuse for having no Remembrance Day poppy, even though her husband Harry had one, doesn't even hold water. She is banal and uncreative. How about these excuses? One, it fell off in the limo. Two, it fell off in the restroom. Three, it fell off on the way to the car. Two. Little Lilibet loved it so much and begged to wear mine for Remembrance Day. We only had two. How could I deny her? But instead she comes up with not readily available in the U.S. i'm right there with you, troublemaker. Oh, wow. So this is. Oh, feel free to publish. I would be so honored all my best troublemaker Jonathan. Dear Maureen, wondering about another close friend of Sarah Jessica Parr. Oops, I mean Jennifer Aniston's Tigna Tarot who we're going to discuss in the next segment with Tim the celebrity makeup artist. Our hate watch. Interesting that she has these close friendships. Anyway, I'm really saddened by the increasingly rapid demise of the morning show. So clearly a star vehicle for Jennifer Aniston. Written for her ego just like Sarah Jessica Parker. And in just like that Rob said it best. Rob shooter on the Nerve show on the Nerve at night on Wednesday that the writers write the script around the actors and it's not in service of the story. Jon Hamm's character. How about this powerful billionaire is ace in every area of his life except Jennifer Aniston's character, the 56 year old Alex Levy. Our thoughts exactly. We will be getting into it. And finally, Good morning Maureen. I really enjoy watching your show. Thank you. I came across this book cover attached and immediately thought of you. Have you heard of this book? You know, I was just an avid reader as a child and I never came across this as a child. And I'm so grateful to you troublemaker Angie from Ohio for introducing it to us. It is the Nancy Drew mystery stories and it is called. We are showing it full screen. I'll hold it up for you. The mysterious night we buried our last fuck. I love you guys. I love you so much. Keep it all coming. Troublemaker Art Troublemaker Feedback queries your nominations for the first. Sorry the inaugural Nerve Awards. Email me at maureenvilmaycare media.com DM me on Instagram at Maureen Callahan, writer or at the Nerve show. Remember to subscribe to the nerves new substack it is thenerveshow.substack.com Coming up, Tim McKay will be here for our morning show Hate Watch slash regular Jennifer Aniston Update. See you in a minute. If you have ever read the label on a typical bag of chips, it is a horror show. It's often a science experiment of seed oils, msg, artificial dyes, mystery ingredients. But luckily there is an alternative. Masa is part of the growing movement to bring back real food. Masa's chips contain just three ingredients. Organic corn, sea salt and 100% grass fed beef tallow. Not only do these chips avoid the junk, they taste incredible. I love them. Snacking on Masa chips is nothing like eating regular chips. 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- [52:17]
Tim McKay
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Maureen Callahan
Attributes, your business loan may be issued.
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Tim McKay
By Ondeck or Celtic Bank.
- [52:42]
Maureen Callahan
Ondeck does not lend to North Dakota, all loans and amounts subject to lender approval.
- [52:46]
Marlena Kinsey
At Maurices, we're all about great jeans. You know, the ones that fit you just right. The ones that simply make you feel good because you don't just wear jeans, you live in them. Buy find great jeans starting at 29.90 in stores and@marisa's.com welcome back. It is time for our weekly morning show Hate Watch with our friend Tim McKay, aka Tim the Celebrity makeup artist. Welcome, Tim.
- [53:18]
Tim McKay
Hi, Maureen. Thank you so much for having me back on the nerves.
- [53:22]
Marlena Kinsey
Well, thank you so much for coming back. Now, before we begin, we have to talk a little bit about your experience as a hired makeup artist on the very recent Hallmark movie cruise. And I think you told me this. I didn't even know it. Like, you have to, like, apply to get on the cruise. And the number of applicants who are paying greatly outweigh the number of. It's like applying to like a private school, you know, greatly outweigh the number of people who are accepted to join. Can you give me a little bit of that number and then tell us about your experience on the Hallmark movie Cruise?
- [54:01]
Tim McKay
I would Love to. I. I had the best time. It was the Norwegian Joy Cruise Line, so it was humongous. And they accepted 4,500 people. So. 4,500 people on this cruise. I didn't know that. 70,000 people applied to it.
- [54:17]
Marlena Kinsey
That is wild.
- [54:19]
Tim McKay
Yeah, 70,000 people applied to it. And some of the people that were on this cruise were on it last year. Last year was the first year they did it. So I don't know how they did it. Like, I don't know if you have to just bid, like, whoever bids the most, I don't know. But, like, they were die hard fans. They had so much fun, I have to tell you. Like, getting in the elevator because the ship was huge. Like, the makeup room where all the stars got ready. Were on the 18th floor. Was on the 18th floor.
- [54:41]
Marlena Kinsey
18Th floor. I've never been on a cruise ship like this ever, so. Yeah.
- [54:46]
Tim McKay
And it was amazing. My room, they. It was actually very nice. Like, as a makeup artist, as the hired help, I was expecting to be, like, down where, like, Jack Dawson was, like, locked in the Titanic.
- [54:55]
Marlena Kinsey
Like, you're below deck. You're in, like, the crew mask.
- [54:58]
Tim McKay
Yeah, Yeah, I was ready for that. I was like, oh, totally good. Like a bunk bed with 14 people in it. Like, great. And no, it was actually. I had a state room with a balcony, and it was beautiful, and it was just amazing. So, like, getting in the elevator to go up to 18 every day to get it was like, I would just meet a ton of people that were in these elevators because, you know, it was just massive amounts of people all over the place. They had, like, different activities to go to and little skits that the stars would put on. So I got to work with my client, Jonathan Bennett, who's famously in Mean Girls. He's like the Hallmark king now.
- [55:30]
Marlena Kinsey
Okay.
- [55:31]
Tim McKay
And Erin Cahill, she's a huge Hallmark star. Ashley Williams. And it was just. Everyone was there. It was so much fun. And I was. I should have worn a Nerve T shirt. I wish I had a T shirt made that just said the Nerve, just so that anyone could point at it. Because I was looking for troublemakers there. I took a picture with a few people that, like, just ran up to me and asked to take photos. So I don't know if it was because they recognized me.
- [55:52]
Marlena Kinsey
I think they maybe knew you from the Nerve.
- [55:55]
Tim McKay
I. That'd be awesome. So I don't know if anyone watching this was on the Hallmark Christmas cruise. Please let me know because I would love to talk to you about it because I would love to hear how their experience was. I know just as like working, I worked from 6am to about 10pm every day.
- [56:11]
Marlena Kinsey
Wow.
- [56:12]
Tim McKay
And. But it was like I got to in my free time explore the ship. I loved it and I would just love to hear how anyone else enjoyed it too.
- [56:20]
Marlena Kinsey
Yeah, we got actually several troublemakers like emailed and DMed and said, oh my God, we gotta hear back from Tim about the Hallmark cruise. We're dying to know what it was like. So I do think there is a crossover and you know, someday as our, our little show continues to grow, maybe we'll do a smaller version of a nerve cruise. Smaller ship.
- [56:39]
Tim McKay
So much fun.
- [56:40]
Marlena Kinsey
And you would be, you would be, you know, both a guest and my makeup artist because everybody else is getting near me.
- [56:46]
Tim McKay
Uh huh.
- [56:47]
Marlena Kinsey
Okay, Tim, so we have got to get into our morning show recap. Now first, this is uniformly, I believe, anecdotally, probably one of the worst episodes they've ever aired. Now it not only made no sense and it was not only beating the viewer over the head with expository dialogue like, oh, hey you dummies. Like you don't know what Russia does to journalists. We're gonna explain it to you. But none of the character development made any sense as usual. But this was particularly egregious. So first we're going to look at Reese Witherspoon's character, ostensibly a journalist who knows what's what just escaped the clutches of the FBI for some reason. She's got to go. While investigating a domestic scandal involving like water pollution in Ohio. She needs to go off to Belarus. Okay, so let's take a look at this. Have you talked to the whistleblower? Yeah. So he hasn't. Belarus? Did you just say Belarus? I have to go under the Oscar buses of the network and you need your authority to sign off on it. Absolutely not. If it were up to me, you wouldn't have a job. Where's Bradley? She went to Belarus. I think she's being detained. You know what they do to journalists over there. Okay, so that's the soap opera clip. So one of my favorite. By which I mean not like most like things that annoy the hell out of me tropes is, you know, that close up that they have to do on it. It, it, it began in soap operas really, but now it's like any procedural, like a medical procedural, a law and order. Like you hear something about a victim or a new development in the case, or like the cancer has spread and it's like a freeze on the doctor or the lawyer, but they have to, like, freeze their face and the eyes go wide, but they can't move the eye. Like, she's in Belarus. She's being detained. And. Oh, and again, for us idiots in the audience, you know what they do to journalists over there. Yeah, we know.
- [58:51]
Tim McKay
We know 100%. It does feel like a soap opera. And it's just funny because, like, I don't know if it's the way that the show is storytelling, how the, how it's written, but I just feel like I don't care. Like, I mean, Reese Witherspoon's in Belarus and I literally wrote, like, okay. Like, I just, I just don't. I. I just don't feel the danger. I even, like, I. I just don't feel it at all. Like, she's, like, walking in slow motion with the guards and she's all, like, disgruntled. I just don't feel any danger. This isn't Game of Thrones. Like, we know she's not gonna get her head cut off at day the of the end. End of the season. Like, she's going to be just fine. And I don't know, I just feel like it's Alex once again causing problems and just hating the decisions that she makes after the fact. Once again.
- [59:32]
Marlena Kinsey
Right. I mean, this show really is in complete service to Jennifer Aniston's ego because that little bit we. We showed was one of the more interesting parts of. Of the episode. And, and that was the recap from last week's episode. So that right away tips you off. Secondly, I love, like, you know, which doesn't happen in the average workplace. Reese Witherspoon storms into Jennifer Aniston's penthouse apartment. Like, she has to get through layers of security. Jenniston's like, what are you doing here? I didn't even hear you come in. Right. And Reese Witherspoon goes, I need to go to Belarus to report on this very important water pollution story, but only under your approval, because only Jennifer Aniston can approve anything, you know, and she's like, no. And then. So anyway, off Rhys goes. Now we have Jennifer Aniston's character reacting to the news that not only is Rhys in Reese slash Bradley is in Belarus, but that they're gonna bring trumped up espionage charges against her, which should have exactly been. You know what? You know what? Jan Aniston's dialogue should be here. That's exactly why I told her not to go. That's what they do. She's A fucking moron. First she gets like, she's. She's a. She's a. She's a. She's an inside source. She's a mole for the feds. We're journalists over. You know what I mean? But anyway, for a company like the.
- [60:53]
Tim McKay
Today show, like, imagine if this is like a. Like a journalist for, like, from, like, Jenna. From, like, the Today.
- [60:58]
Marlena Kinsey
Jenna Bush Hagers in Belarus.
- [61:00]
Tim McKay
Imagine investigating. Yeah, he's like, I have to do this. Like, and it's just like, only you, Hoda, can sign off on it. Like, I don't know.
- [61:07]
Marlena Kinsey
That's exactly what it would be like. That's exactly what it would be like. And, you know, somebody would have lots of bracelets jangling. Lots of, like, Taylor Swift friendship bracelets jangling in that case.
- [61:16]
Tim McKay
But 100%.
- [61:17]
Marlena Kinsey
Anyway, so over here. So I offer this clip to you in particular, Tim, because you are dialed into Jennifer Aniston's acting tics like no other. And we've got some stammering, some. Some. Some eye widening. And I'm not going to finish the list, because it really is good for you. Yeah, some size. Some heavy size. I. I hear a lot of Rachel Green. I hear a lot of Rachel Green. Here we go. God.
- [61:49]
Tim McKay
What?
- [61:51]
Marlena Kinsey
They're gonna press charges against Bradley. Oh, shoot. I'm gonna throw up. Lying to government officials at a minimum. My friend at the IMF said that they're planning to move her end of day tomorrow. Alex, if that happens.
- [62:04]
Maureen Callahan
Yeah.
- [62:04]
Marlena Kinsey
No, and everybody that I've been speaking to in D.C. is saying just what Seline says, which is just let the State Department handle. I just started going through the documents Bradley sent over.
- [62:11]
Maureen Callahan
So we don't know what.
- [62:13]
Marlena Kinsey
What she found. We don't know what they think she found. And if Belarus says that this is espionage. Exactly. I mean, these are the people that dragged an activist off a plane. Their top ally locked up that Wall Street Journal reporter and threw away the key. If we look, we don't get her back now, she. She could be locked up for years. Okay, thinking of Chip. Come on, who are we not thinking of? Who could help? Come on, there's got to be somebody we can call.
- [62:38]
Tim McKay
Okay, look, maybe the villain from last season.
- [62:42]
Marlena Kinsey
Come on, Ross, I thought we were. You. You. We weren't on a break. Like, this is the level. This is the level of. Of dramatic acting we can bring to bear in a scene. By the way, two journalists speaking to each other would never have to say, oh, you know that Wall Street Journal reporter who they locked up and Talks about like anyone who is a journalist knows that reporter's name. It's Evan Gershkovich. Everybody was banging the drum for him to get released. It's not like you would say to like, you know, a major journal, a major television star, like, you know that guy. And they threw away the key and it, and it was like, yeah, because everybody's agitating to get him back. But anyway, I digress. It's just, it's ridiculous, insulting dialogue. And that like the two of them would be brainstorming about how to get her back is insane.
- [63:36]
Tim McKay
I just think the way they're speaking, it's like, oh my God, Bradley's trapped in Belarus. And she's like, oh, oh no, what do we do? And then he's just like, I don't know, she might be trapped there in jail. And it's like, oh, okay. Like, what is this writing? Like this is just so simple and it's just like spoon fed writing. And I don't feel, I don't feel it. Maybe it's because it's daytime. Maybe it's because, I don't know, maybe I just don't feel the intensity of the scene. Like I just again feel like Bradley is actually just like down the street somewhere. I don't feel like she's trapped in Belarus.
- [64:05]
Marlena Kinsey
I don't exactly, exactly. It's like the contract negotiation isn't going well for Bradley. That's what, that's the, that's the level of stakes I'm getting.
- [64:13]
Tim McKay
That's the intensity that I'm feeling from these actors.
- [64:15]
Marlena Kinsey
100. And by the way, didn't Jennifer Aniston just meet with Biden's top people in the episode prior to this to land an exclusive with the President? So doesn't she have like a direct line to the executive office of the White House? Like, why wouldn't she just be like picking up the bat phone and calling them?
- [64:32]
Tim McKay
Maybe she'll blame her dad. Maybe because her dad made such a mockery that the Biden want, like administration wants nothing to do with her because of her father.
- [64:40]
Marlena Kinsey
You know why? Because her father gave her a complex that she wasn't smart as a 10 year old. So she doesn't feel smart enough to pick up.
- [64:45]
Tim McKay
That's right. That's right. She's trapped. Yeah.
- [64:48]
Marlena Kinsey
So she's going to use this as an excuse to give Jon Hamm a booty call her billionaire that she, she's like on the bubble. She like wants to, she wants to get back with him, but she's Feeling a lot of shame around that. So this is what, this is what Jennifer Aniston does after being instructed by the head of ubn, the, as you said, the mustache twirling Marianne, who in like the scene before that one, they were like having a top level meeting at like the penthouse office. And Marianne Cotillard's like, what story was she investigating? And then she, again, it's very soap opera staging. Like, she turns to the window and.
- [65:23]
Tim McKay
She'S looking away, like, so mysterious.
- [65:26]
Marlena Kinsey
Like, oh, who are your sources on that?
- [65:29]
Tim McKay
What did she find out? Did she learn who the villain is? Like, I don't know. It's very much like, oh, did she.
- [65:34]
Marlena Kinsey
Learn that my family did it and then covered it up and that we're buying UBN to like, make sure we can keep poisoning America and covering it up?
- [65:42]
Tim McKay
Because I came here for one reason, one reason only, and that was it to cover up this whole scandal. And I just knew it because even the way she talks when she's talking to Corey, she's talking a little bit like this. And I'm just like, I just think it's so funny because I'm like, she just. I don't know if this is very uncultured yet, but she is a villain. She just looks like a villain. I love her to death, but she's like Corey. And they try to give her this dual storyline. They want her to get close with Cory so that we can kind of like feel for her. Like she's not just a mustache twirling villain. She also has a. And she's also attracted to this total hot mess that is Corey. But yeah, so I.
- [66:18]
Marlena Kinsey
And like all villains, all female villains, like you could go back to Dynasty and Joan Collins, Veronica and Betty. In the Archie comics, the dark haired and I've been both. So the dark haired girl is the villain and the lighter haired girl, the bronze girl, Jen Aniston is the heroine. Although I think the writers are writing her a bit of. Of a villain. She doesn't know it. And then they also put Marian Kotiar in, like, lots of blacks in case we don't get the message that she's bad. And by the way, have you noticed, because you're a visual person, have you noticed that every character's apartment slash office is some sort of shade of green, like dark green?
- [66:59]
Tim McKay
That's. I have not. I'm usually too focused on their faces. Like, that's my thing is I just think I'm staring at the makeup, I'm looking at the hair, and I'm trying to look, listen to the dialogue and.
- [67:10]
Maureen Callahan
Oh, yeah.
- [67:10]
Tim McKay
And I know I gave Alex a compliment on her clothes last season. Last week I want to say that I hated her outfit this week. I thought it was very matronly, but I did too.
- [67:19]
Marlena Kinsey
She should not be wearing skirts that are like tea length that hit at the mid calf. They cut her off. She is too petite for that. She's not Marion Cotillard.
- [67:28]
Tim McKay
She's not Marianne Cotiards. And yeah, no. So I. But I did not notice that the greens in the background.
- [67:33]
Marlena Kinsey
I didn't notice that every character. So. Yanko's apartment green. Billy Crudup's apartment green. Jennifer Aniston's living room green. Mia's apartment green. I believe Bradley. Well, now she stays in that hotel, but it's a shade of green. Like, everything is this one shade of green. And I think it's either a budgetary thing or the set designers think that whatever their lighting situation is, it's universally flattering.
- [68:01]
Tim McKay
Is it? Maybe. Yeah, maybe it's part of their color palette. Now I want to go back and rewatch every single one so I can catch that. Because I know a lot of times in like, say Disney, for example, like, green will always mean evil. Like, will mean villain. Or like, and the colors that they're using, or like, if they use a lot of icy blues, it usually means that the person is really cold. So that's really interesting. I wonder what maybe the different shades of green mean. But. But on that note, can they get Bradley an apartment already? Why is she still at a hotel? I feel like, hasn't she been in New York long enough? Like working on this show? Long enough where they would just get her an apartment already.
- [68:32]
Marlena Kinsey
There would be one person tasked with viewing apartments for her narrowing at a hotel.
- [68:38]
Tim McKay
So that would be so expensive for the network. Why is the network, like shoveling out money at a hotel room for her to stay at this luxury penthouse? Why wouldn't you get her an apartment? Like, that makes so no sense.
- [68:47]
Marlena Kinsey
Do you remember though, when she did have an apartment in New York and we. She was like the downtown renegade because she lived in like a repurposed like, of course.
- [68:55]
Tim McKay
Yeah.
- [68:55]
Marlena Kinsey
Elementary school or something. And her door had like that, like that, like old school police door with like the, you know, the. The frosted textured glass that, you know, knocks.
- [69:05]
Tim McKay
Yeah, way back. Whenever season that was.
- [69:06]
Marlena Kinsey
Yeah, whatever season. Oh, back when she was a lesbian.
- [69:10]
Tim McKay
That's right. When the show did that for five minutes and then wrote off that character. We never heard from her again. Yeah.
- [69:15]
Marlena Kinsey
So now we've got Jennifer Aniston. Okay, so she goes over to Jon Hamm's billionaires lair. And again, like she would not be getting an impromptu last minute audience with this guy. He would have his top lieutenant, maybe, maybe a lesser lieutenant, but his top lieutenant is played by Tig Notaro. And it's. This is a very. I find her presence very. And maybe it's supposed to be, but it's very off putting. Anyway, so here she comes over and again, the point of this scene is really to goose Jen Aniston's ego because the takeaway from this is that Jon Hamm's 56 year old, devastatingly handsome billionaire is not over this middle aged mediocrity who got her protege stuck in a communist nation that's going to send her to a gulag and probably visit horrors upon her that she'll never recover from. Let's go. Bradley is being detained in Belarus.
- [70:17]
Maureen Callahan
What?
- [70:18]
Marlena Kinsey
I know how you feel about her. I do. But Paul, I really need your help.
- [70:24]
Maureen Callahan
Well, she's on air talent. I mean, she's way too high profile. They're going to let her go.
- [70:27]
Marlena Kinsey
They're about to file charges.
- [70:28]
Maureen Callahan
What do you want me to do about it?
- [70:30]
Marlena Kinsey
There's someone you know my question? Every time I see your highlights, I know the sky's about to fall.
- [70:35]
Maureen Callahan
Can you just give us a couple minutes, please? I'm in between meetings and I have.
- [70:39]
Tim McKay
An event tonight, so. Okay.
- [70:40]
Marlena Kinsey
If I wanted to get in touch with Dimitri Ivanov.
- [70:43]
Maureen Callahan
Jesus, Alex.
- [70:44]
Marlena Kinsey
Or maybe you could talk to him and see if he would be willing to lean on some government official to release her.
- [70:50]
Maureen Callahan
You want me to deal with vote with a sanctioned Russian oligarch?
- [70:55]
Tim McKay
Go through the White House.
- [70:56]
Marlena Kinsey
Let's commit some more felonies.
- [70:57]
Tim McKay
Call your friends.
- [70:59]
Maureen Callahan
Her whole family owns.
- [71:01]
Marlena Kinsey
She must know someone. She's deferring to the State Department. Paul.
- [71:05]
Maureen Callahan
One second.
- [71:06]
Marlena Kinsey
Trust me, Paul. I hate this. I hate that I have to come here and ask for your help. I really do. I'm very sorry. As if I were Rachel Green. Still is. That I have to sit tight and be patient and let the President professionals handle it. But they're not handling it. And if she gets thrown in prison and stuck there, it's my fault.
- [71:24]
Maureen Callahan
You're not the reason she's over there.
- [71:26]
Marlena Kinsey
I am essentially. More or less.
- [71:30]
Maureen Callahan
God, I'm sorry, Alex. There's nothing I can do.
- [71:44]
Marlena Kinsey
A sigh. A sigh. A hang dog. Look, by the way, that dialogue was the most realistic dialogue in the whole episode. I'm Sorry, there's nothing I can do. Don't ask me to commit treason. A backdoor. Like, I'm gonna get thrown in prison. Like, I mean, this is. This is an outrageous ask by somebody she threw. She just dumped last season. And it's. That is. That was the best dialogue. And I would. This. This episode would have had something going for it had Jon Hamm kicked her out of the apartment, started badmouthing her all over town, telling UBN they had a major liability on their hands, and Bradley did get transferred to a gulag and she remained off screen that those horrors would be what we could. Like, it's like the Hitchcock thing. Anything you could come up with in your mind is worse than anything they could ever depict.
- [72:31]
Tim McKay
Yeah. I'm not surprised that his assistant. What's her name again? Tegan Teague?
- [72:35]
Marlena Kinsey
Tig Notaro. Tig Notaro. But that's her real name. I don't know her name is on the show.
- [72:40]
Tim McKay
When I see her on the show, I feel like she's like. Like, she's, like, a producer of, like, the actual, like, show that she's, like, not supposed to be in it. Like, I feel like she always walks onto the set. Like, I feel like I don't believe.
- [72:50]
Marlena Kinsey
Her, that she's so funny.
- [72:51]
Tim McKay
Like, every time I see her, I'm like, wait, oops, are you not supposed to be in the show? Or, like, are you an executive, like, of the morning show?
- [72:57]
Marlena Kinsey
No, but, yeah, funny.
- [72:58]
Tim McKay
But no wonder why she, like, blew it up for him and called Maddie uncle and ruined the whole thing. Because I'm like, yeah, this is her client. Well, yeah, her boss. And she doesn't want him to blow up his whole career with this deal that is trying to happen last minute.
- [73:13]
Marlena Kinsey
Yes. Towards the end of the episode. That's the big soap opera reveal. Like, Tig, despite her boss's express orders, has his. It's almost the trope of the beleaguered secretary who's kind of mousy, who really has it bad for her hot. That really dashing boss. But she doesn't have a shot with him. But she'll, like, sacrifice herself and go against his. Because she loves him more than she even loves herself. Except this time it doesn't work because they've clearly cast, like, a lesbian. Like, a very butch lesbian. So she felt like she's got, like, a romantic thing for him. So why would she do that?
- [73:50]
Tim McKay
Right? Is it just to save her career, or does she owe something to Marianne Kotiad? Because, like, it's just of Course, like, I love the conversation at the end. It's like, thank you so much for handling that. I don't know, it just. It was very villain. It was very like Disney villain at the end. And I kind of loved it. But I also. It just doesn't feel real. And. Yeah.
- [74:09]
Marlena Kinsey
What did you make of the. This to me felt very shoehorned in, like, okay, we have a very boring. And again, instead of going to the writers room and saying, guys, you wrote a series of really boring scenes that are supposed to be the most high stakes of the episode, which is Jon Hamm's character coming around. Cause he can't get over Alex Levy, so he's gonna risk his entire fortune and reputation and his very freedom to get this done for her. So instead of saying rewrite, they just put them at the opera in New York so that it feels. I mean, is there again, is there a more cliched trope than cutting to an opera singer hitting like octaves up here to tell us it's high drama, high stakes.
- [74:58]
Tim McKay
Yes. Oh, I know, it's so true. It's like either like, like someone's dancing and it speeds up or someone's singing and it's getting louder and like, you know, it's supposed to be the tension. I just think it's funny that, like, at a big high profile event like this, like, they have time to negotiate this whole deal and like, it's like, what, in the 10 minute intermission. And I just think it's so silly. I'm like, it did feel very movie esque and very like, ooh, at the event. That's where it all has to go down tonight. That's where it has to work.
- [75:28]
Marlena Kinsey
A 10 minute intermission during which they're doing this, like, out in the open, right? So, okay, so for example, Jennifer Aniston, she would be. She would be approached by sophisticated, but nonetheless fans who'd be like, can we get a selfie?
- [75:41]
Tim McKay
Yeah.
- [75:42]
Marlena Kinsey
Oh, sorry. I'm trying to backdoor this like, you know, treasonous deal over here to free a hacked journalist who's probably still a mole for the feds. I don't know what I'm doing. And then, and here's something else I would like to say about the casting of this billionaire. Okay? Name me a billionaire in America who again, we have. We have issues with Jon Hamm here at the Nerve. Goes to episode one. He's undeniably handsome. He's undeniably fucking movie star. Good looking. You know, like, we don't have these kind of Billionaires. We've got Elon Musk, we've got Jeff Bezos, we've got Mark Zuckerberg. These are not hot guys. I think this would have been a much more interesting show and casting and, like, conflict and stuff if it was like, he was kind of Bezos. Ish. Right. If they kind of went like Mike Myers in Austin Powers. Make him bald. Make him a little. Make him short.
- [76:38]
Tim McKay
Autistic.
- [76:38]
Marlena Kinsey
A little, like, autistic. A little buffed up on, like, some steroids. And then Jennifer Aniston has to have that, like, am I gonna really sleep with this guy? Am I really gonna do it?
- [76:49]
Tim McKay
There you go. That makes it way more fun.
- [76:51]
Marlena Kinsey
Now we're talking stakes, right?
- [76:53]
Tim McKay
Yeah. Not just like this, like, hot super billionaire who's the villain bad boy. And then he actually wants to change his whole life and all his morals because he likes you so much. And then they even mentioned that, like, that random character is like. I think it was Dimitri or whatever. He's like, hey, where's the girlfriend that you have? And of course John's like, oh, well, there is no girlfriend and has a close up on Jennifer Aniston.
- [77:14]
Marlena Kinsey
The.
- [77:16]
Tim McKay
Maybe that could be me again. It just. It's very.
- [77:19]
Marlena Kinsey
So let me get him over into the coat check where there's conveniently nobody banning the coat check. Where people have checked, like, $40,000 for coats.
- [77:30]
Tim McKay
Yeah. And, you know, she's thinking about getting back together with him. While she's there trying to save Bradley, she's also secretly like, oh, damn, he's single. Oh, that.
- [77:39]
Marlena Kinsey
Oh, no, that's the. Now that the whole. The whole priority level has shifted completely. Mission Impossible A is getting him back in the sack and getting a ring on that finger.
- [77:48]
Tim McKay
She's like, what are we talking about again? Oh, yeah, sorry. Bradley.
- [77:51]
Marlena Kinsey
Bradley.
- [77:51]
Tim McKay
Yeah.
- [77:52]
Marlena Kinsey
Loser forever, man.
- [77:54]
Tim McKay
I think she's in Russia. Okay.
- [77:56]
Marlena Kinsey
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [77:56]
Tim McKay
She wanted to go.
- [77:58]
Marlena Kinsey
I need. Yeah, no, but, Tim, we have to prep ourselves and we have to. Okay, so. Okay, so here's my other thing. Here's my other thing with that. If this were my writer's room and I made the billionaire, like, sort of Bezos y kind of character, I would definitely have a moment where I would have the Jennifer Aniston character either walk into his private bathroom on the other wing of the house or somehow find, like, we would either be finding strips that have body hair and realizing that he's waxing his entire body or, like, the appointment of the professional groomer coming to the house to wax every. Like, there would Be a reckoning of, like, am I really with a man? Like, what am I with here? You know? Like, am I with, like, a Neuter Incel. Who's waxing every single and tweezing? You know what I mean?
- [78:55]
Tim McKay
Something, right?
- [78:55]
Marlena Kinsey
Guys don't. They don't present. They present. They present as, like, half human, half Android. Well, because they're so going.
- [79:02]
Tim McKay
They became billionaires because they're so smart. And if you're that smart, you can't be a vein as well. I feel like when you're that smart, you're not like, let me see how muscular I can get and how hot I can get.
- [79:13]
Marlena Kinsey
Oh, but they are. They are like, Elon Musk has had a ton of plastic surgery. Google Elon Musk before, like, chin implant and hair transplant. And Mark Zuckerberg has definitely had work. Jeff Bezos has transformed himself. I mean, I kind of feel like.
- [79:30]
Tim McKay
I had no idea. Well, I don't know. I guess it helped because I can't imagine what they looked like before then. I don't know.
- [79:35]
Marlena Kinsey
Oh, you've gotta Google. Go Google Jeff Bezos back in the very early days of Amazon when he was with his first wife. Oh, but the other thing I wanna say is I would also make this billionaire character, like, the guy who's trying to hack himself into eternal life. You know, like, she should be.
- [79:51]
Tim McKay
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [79:52]
Marlena Kinsey
Like, competing for attention. For attention. Like, wait, where. Where is he? And he would have, like, an army of assistants being like, he's in the cryo chamber. Like, nobody's allowed in his clone for three minutes.
- [80:02]
Tim McKay
Yes. Like, he also has a clone that's developing, like, in a. In a tank nearby. That's, like, him slowly. And he's trying to get his consciousness into that clone.
- [80:10]
Marlena Kinsey
Yes. And also, like, Tom Brady. Like, she encounters what she thinks was, like, his dead dog, and she's like, wait, what's going on? It's like, I cloned it. We arrived yesterday.
- [80:19]
Tim McKay
Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, that's just. That's 2.0. Yeah.
- [80:22]
Marlena Kinsey
Let's get. Let's get some real billionaire weird shit going on in here.
- [80:26]
Tim McKay
No, it's because they're like, oh, AI is popular right now, so let's just keep throwing around the word AI in every episode. Let's just like, oh, my God, that.
- [80:33]
Marlena Kinsey
Reminds me, Tim, when. When she said, you know what we should do to Jon Hamm, you know? And again, like, a billionaire wouldn't be, like, with a dummy like this unless she was, like, like, 16 and look like Emily Radajowski. Okay. Oh, you know what we should do, Jon Hamm? We should pirate UBN's proprietary AI, dupe it, and give it to Belarus.
- [80:53]
Tim McKay
Yeah, that's. That's it. It isn't what he's been working on for. So, I mean, again, this I'm only partially understanding, but, like, isn't it, like, his big company that he's been working on? What does she want to do? She wants to acquire it under UBN and then sell it to Russia.
- [81:07]
Marlena Kinsey
Was that it?
- [81:08]
Tim McKay
Is that. Was that it? Because I was trying to follow along with it.
- [81:11]
Marlena Kinsey
I don't know.
- [81:11]
Tim McKay
I was like, wait, what does she want to do? Like, again, this is all happening in her mind at, like, in this 10 minute intermission. And I'm like. And then all these phone calls happen and somehow it works until, of course, the assistant sabotages it. But again, I'm like, how are all these things happening so quickly? Like, at nighttime in New York City? I just don't know.
- [81:30]
Marlena Kinsey
You know, finer minds, Tim, than ours, I think, would have to. But I really, again, like, not to, like, toot our own horns, but I think if they're clearly gonna pick the morning show up for another season, and I think that hire writers like us, we have a million better ideas.
- [81:52]
Tim McKay
Oh, my God, I feel like walking to the train station. I'll, like, have more drama than I will watching an episode of the morning show. I would love to be a writer with you, Maureen, and I think that we would make a much better show.
- [82:04]
Marlena Kinsey
I do, too. And you know what I would also love to do? I would definitely stunt cast with greats and lesser lights of yesteryear. Like, I would figure out a way to get Hoda Copy in there.
- [82:15]
Tim McKay
Oh, my God, that'd be hilarious, right? Yeah, absolutely. And just play herself.
- [82:20]
Marlena Kinsey
Yeah. Like, I would figure out a way to get Gayle King in there. You know, like, you know, like a revisit. Like Reese Witherspoon's astronaut thing with John Hamm's billionaire. You know, like, there's a million things you could do.
- [82:32]
Tim McKay
Something next season will probably focus on what, Trump. You think, like, Trump winning the election. And will they go anywhere near it?
- [82:39]
Marlena Kinsey
I don't know. Because again, like, if they had any guts whatsoever, the scandal surrounding the season, you wouldn't see protesters in the streets of New York agitating over some, like, environmental, boring bullshit. It would be like. It would be pro Hamas protesters. That's what really has been going on in New York.
- [83:00]
Tim McKay
How about we get touch that? Oh, no.
- [83:02]
Marlena Kinsey
Why would they touch that? Why would they touch a live wire like that and make their show interesting? No idea.
- [83:08]
Tim McKay
Yeah. Nope, not gonna happen.
- [83:11]
Marlena Kinsey
Tim, as always, it's been so great going over the. The morning show with you, and I look forward to our recap next week.
- [83:17]
Tim McKay
I think it's the finale. Next week. Is next week the finale.
- [83:20]
Marlena Kinsey
Say it isn't. So.
- [83:21]
Tim McKay
I think it's episode 10. I think it's the finale. So you know that everything, all these amazing plot points are going to boil to a head.
- [83:27]
Marlena Kinsey
Well, you know what? You know what? I should have guessed the way that this, this episode really just built to a level of steam where you just thought, this has. This baby's gonna explode.
- [83:37]
Tim McKay
Yeah, it built to a fart.
- [83:42]
Marlena Kinsey
All right, well, yeah, get in gear. We'll both be taking notes and we will be back here to finalize this hate. Watch for the.
- [83:50]
Tim McKay
I'll be here. I'm going to be here from Belarus. I think I might go there to report on it.
- [83:55]
Marlena Kinsey
All right. Just know that there's nothing I can do to get you back if things go sideways.
- [83:58]
Tim McKay
Well, I need you to sign off on me going in the first place.
- [84:00]
Marlena Kinsey
Oh. Because I'm the only one who has the authority to do so.
- [84:04]
Tim McKay
All right.
- [84:04]
Marlena Kinsey
Bully me into it. I can blame you later.
- [84:07]
Tim McKay
Sounds great, Maureen. Thank you.
- [84:08]
Marlena Kinsey
Thank you. Talk to you soon.
- [84:10]
Maureen Callahan
Bye.
- [84:11]
Marlena Kinsey
Bye. And to wrap up that segment, let's just look at Jennifer Aniston's multiple facial expressions. On any given episode of the morning show, we are meant to be, in various ways communicating confusion, distress, concern. I mean, these are the same facial expressions one after the other. This is a problem. Her face can barely move. I couldn't tell you what is going on in any given scene inside of her head based on, like, her eyebrows can raise maybe a few millimeters per. Dr. Jessica Weiser, who showed up on the nerva earlier this week, if you want to go find out what really works and what really doesn't, and, you know, check out Dr. Weiser. Anyway, we are going to wrap up today's episode with your moment of nirvana. And this is Billy Bob Thornton, who is making the rounds promoting Landman. And I have really come to love. I never really had much of an opinion on Billy Bob before, but during this media tour, I've come to love this guy. I just saw him the other day on Regis. Sorry, Regis. On Kelly and Marc. And they were like, so, Billy Bob, you're in New York now. Do you love New York? And he's like, you know, I don't really love to go Out. Like, I just. I kind of like to just like, hang out at the hotel bar. And they're like, oh, really? What do you do there? He's like, I drink, like, light beer because I can't really drink hard liquor anymore. It really did a number on me. And they're like, oh, yeah. So, like, so, so, so what do you do? And he's like, well, I'll drink like 30 of them. I love this guy. I love him. Okay. Anyway, here he is on Joe Rogan about what he thinks celebrities should and should not be opining upon. Take it away, Billy Bob.
- [86:21]
Maureen Callahan
But there's something about having heroes that are unattainable for you. That way they can stay in that magic spot. So I think we've lost magic and mystery and all these things.
- [86:33]
Tim McKay
Well, it certainly happens when you hear.
- [86:34]
Marlena Kinsey
Actors talk about politics.
- [86:36]
Tim McKay
When actors become activists, it's like, okay, yeah, oy, oy.
- [86:42]
Maureen Callahan
I donate to a lot of charities, mainly children's stuff, but nobody knows it. I don't go to the award show and talk about that. I'm getting my award. It's like Ricky Gervais said in that skit of his, you know, he said, look, you know, come up here, accept your little award and fuck off.
- [87:01]
Tim McKay
Yeah.
- [87:02]
Marlena Kinsey
Finally, as I always say, celebrity on celebrity violence. It's very rare, but Billy Bob joins forces with my beloved Ricky Gervais to say hey to my fellow actors and musicians. Shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about. As we just saw with Jennifer Lawrence, who told the New York Times Magazine, now that movies are dying, she's gotten the memo. The public doesn't want to hear from people like me getting paid millions of dollars for movies nobody's going to see how they should vote. And not for nothing, Jennifer Lawrence. She dropped out of school at age 14 so she could become an actress. Okay, that does it. That does it. For our Friday edition of the Nerve. Come back and see us tomorrow for the Mini that drops on YouTube at 10am Eastern. Remember, for the time being, the Minis only live on YouTube. If you haven't already, check out our substack@the nerveshow.substack.com Be sure to subscribe. It's only five bucks a month. It's a total party over there, and you're helping the show grow. Plus Nerve Merch. Grab something for yourself or pick something up for a fellow troublemaker or someone you'd like to have come over and cause some trouble on our side of the street. @shophenerve.com Also, the nerve is now available on Megan's podcast playlist every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 9am Eastern on Sirius XM channel 111, the Megyn Kelly channel. See you tomorrow for the Mini and then again next week right here at the Nerve, where you will never guess what we're about to say next. Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications. Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely and parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place. Sign up for Greenlight today@Greenlight.com podcast@Designer Shoe Warehouse we believe that shoes are an important part of, well, everything. From first steps to first dates. From all nighters to all time personal bests. From building pillow forts to building a life for all the big and small moments that make up your whole world. DSW is there and we've got just the shoes. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at brag worthy prices at your DSW store or dsw.com.