← The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
Jason Bateman's Dark Side, Ben Affleck and Steven Spielberg's Feud, and Another Netflix Series Flop
01:13:51
Maureen Callahan goes off on Jason Bateman's Esquire interview that fully displays his true colors as a complete douchebag (his words). She points to how he arrogantly refuses to answer a simple question, unapologetically states that he doesn't talk to or see his sister Justine very often, and struggles to explain the difference between love and sex. Then Maureen exposes past incidents where Jason bullies a former child actor, throws his friend under the bus to a police officer, and inappropriately gushes over Jen Aniston. Maureen also takes apart Timothée Chalamet's latest public display of stupidity and shares the details on why Steven Spielberg refuses to work with Ben Affleck. Later in the show, Maureen is joined by celebrity makeup artist Tim McKay for a hate-watch session of "The Beast In Me," including a full breakdown of Claire Danes' over used cry face. Pique: Find calm and radiant health this holiday with Pique’s Sun Goddess Matcha—science-backed wellness for energ...
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- [00:00]
Maureen Callahan
Foreign. Hello and welcome to your Friday edition of the Nerve. I am your host, Maureen Callahan. We have so much incredible stuff for you today. I'm giving you a little disco queen because why not? It's the weekend first, Jason Bateman. I have always thought that this guy was full of rage and this Esquire magazine profile that just dropped is proving me right. So we are going to go in on it in a very, in a multimedia way. I'm going to build my case case for you, my troublemakers, and I'm going to prosecute it. And I hope you come to the same conclusion. I do that this guy woodshed. Woodshed. Wood chipper possibly. We've got a troublemaker who has a suggestion for what to do with all of our recidivist remains out there. Okay then we are going to say farewell to two women who are real trailblazers in the culture. And we're also going to give you Timothy Shyamalama. Ding dong. Really, really wants an Oscar. I mean, it's at the point where even though he's a complete asshole, like I'm beginning to feel secondhand embarrassment for him. It's so grubby, it's so graspy, it's so desperate. He thinks he's being cool and he's not. And this was apparently scrubbed from the Internet within hours of it going up. Oh, actually it was not. Marlena just said no, no, no, no, no. So anyway, we got it. We're showing it to you. We've got some Hollywood gossip about the origins of a long standing feud between one Ben Affleck and Steven Spielberg. And this is great and we're gonna punt it to you guys for a poll. Then the celebrity makeup artist Tim. Our favorite, Tim McKay is back for for our Hate Watch segment. We are going to talk the beast in Me, which is like the hit Netflix series that is still in the top 10. Claire Danes, Matthew Reese. It's a murder, it's a thriller, it's a lot. And what's been going around as quite the meme is Claire Danes and her cry face. And I think that the culture has had enough. I do. It's a great show. It's a great show. We're going to have a ton of fun with each other today. Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go find your calm this holiday season with Peak. Peak is a luxury wellness brand powered by rare plants and cutting edge ingredients offering the perfect remedy for the season's hustle and bustle. Their science backed botanicals, minerals and vitamins support metabolic function, immune health, sustained energy and radiant skin. Their Sun Goddess Matcha is an organic superfood blend that redefines your daily ritual. Crafted from the purest tea leaves, it provides a smooth, sustained energy for a calm mind and glowing skin. Plus, the nutrients can help curb sugar and hunger cravings, making it easier to stick to your wellness goals. Ready to gift the glow? Unlock 20% off for life for yourself and everyone on your list. Give the gift of glowing health this holiday season. Get started@peaklife.com thenerve that's P I Q U E life.com thenerve Jason Bateman, who as discussed with you guys before, as a child I had a crush on him and I actually, I kind of fell in love with him all over again on Arrested Development because he was so brilliant at playing like the straight man to all of these lunatics around him. And he really was kind of the gravitational center of that show. But then I saw him in a film called the Gift with Joel Edgerton and Rebecca hall and I think Joel Edgerton wrote and directed it as well. If you haven't seen the Gift, treat yourself. It is a really incredible psychological thriller, but it left me unnerved because I came away thinking Jason Bateman was a little too good at playing a nice guy who was secretly a psychopath. I'm not saying Jason Bateman is a psychopath in real life. I'm not. But I am saying I think he's a pretty dark guy and would I want to know him? No. No, I would not. Now, he is, as discussed in the intro, the subject of this doozy of an Esquire magazine profile. And you know, the first we have to just look at the, at the photos, at the accompanying photos that were shot by Mark Sellinger Seliger. How do you say it? I don't know. The guy's been in magazines forever and they're so you guys. Like, if you didn't think that Jason Bateman was just in love with himself and thinks that he is just the end, the living end, look at these photos. He's like 56 years old and he's posing like he's Brad Pitt at the height of his beauty and fame. Like, we're in like, you know, rainwater and like our hair, which, I'm sorry, is just a little too lush and plush for a 56 year old man. We've got our hands and our hair and our eyes are closed in like ecstasy. It is, it is amazing. These photos are amazing. And again, if you want to Know which celebrities have true friends in the world and which ones don't, and whose team really feels loyal to them and is very well treated by them, and what team is not and is looking to sabotage their principle at any given turn. Look no further. Look no further. Because anyone with an iota of loyalty to a guy like Jason Bateman would have been like, we're axing that. Jason. No, don't pose like this, okay? Don't pose in the photo with you in the eyeglasses with, like, your jacket pulled up over you grinning maniacally. You do look like a psychopath in that one. You do, you do. Now, as always with print media, we have to have an audio visual component because nobody reads magazines anymore. Which, by the way, if you didn't check out my Instagram. The Nerve got its very first profile in arena. Plus plus plus, a British journalist named Michael Collins, who has excellent taste. I'm just saying, like, we were talking about movies and music and we have very similar taste. And I like to think my taste is pretty good. I love his taste. Anyway, he did, like a six page feature on the Nerve, and if you want to go read it, go over to his substack. You can see it for free over there. Another Michael Collins. Anyway, Jason Bateman sat with Esquire's editor in chief, a guy named Michael Sebastian. I'm guessing Michael may have lopped off his real last name and has used his middle name as his surname because it sounds. But that's just a theory. I have no knowledge of it. Anyway, Esquire has this old hoary thing they do at the end of every year. It was always like, what I've learned, you know? And it's like celebrities will tell you what they've learned, and it sets the table nicely for us here at the Nerve. So let's listen to Jason's self description before we go any further, shall we? Here we go.
- [07:45]
Jason Bateman
I was such a douchebag. I had some, like, affected voice.
- [07:49]
Tim McKay
There's something about you that people love.
- [07:52]
Maureen Callahan
What is that thing?
- [07:53]
Jason Bateman
You really would have to ask that person and then ask the millions of other people that are just like, yeah, that guy's not for me.
- [08:00]
Tim McKay
The first line of your obituary, what's it gonna say?
- [08:02]
Jason Bateman
I'm not answering that fucking question.
- [08:06]
Maureen Callahan
That's rude. That's. That's all rude. First of all, he begins starting off and says, I was a real douchebag. As. As I always say, when these celebrities tell you who they are, but believe them, you know? And this guy is there And Esquire is there. Ostensibly. I mean, the photo shoot speaks to potentially contrary motives or oppositional motives, but ostensibly it's to make the celebrity look good, it's to make the publication look good, it's to get clicks and eyeballs. And this guy, his second question is, people love you, Jason. People love you. Why do people love you so much? He's asking it very earnestly. And then he posits another question, which is a very, very familiar to celebrities who have been in the business for decades. What do you want the first line of your obituary to be? And he's like, I'm not answering that fucking question. He's a douchebag. Now, I came across this and I love it. You know anyone who watched Little House back in the day, there was a child actor on that show named Patrick. His name is really hard to pronounce. I like this guy. I like this guy. So please forgive me if I'm mangling your name, sir. Liberto. Liberto Labrado. Marlene is in here helping me out. Lab. My second brain. And he's got a. He's got a fun podcast called the Patrick Labor Show, Lebor Show. It's a play on his last name. And he used to be on Little House. And then he got, he got fired from Little House. And he was such a striking kid. He had these piercing blue eyes and he, he, you could tell he was kind of an old soul. And I haven't seen this guy in forever. And I'm, and I'm watching him and I'm really enjoying him because he's telling this story. He seems like a fun, fun guy with like a real sense of proportion. And he's laughing at the story, but he knows what he's doing. He's very self aware and he's fully owning what he's doing. Now he's going to talk about going to child actor school, which he was still attending after he got fired, like at age 12 or something, from Little House on the Prairie. And then another child actor who remains nameless in Patrick's retelling, who just got cast on Little House. So clearly they cut Patrick loose to make room in the budget for this new child actor who was going to come in. So this new child actor joins the school that Patrick has been attending for quite some time. And here's Patrick on the new kid.
- [10:40]
Patrick Labarto
Well, this one particular guy who was there was just mean.
- [10:46]
Tim McKay
He.
- [10:48]
Patrick Labarto
Whenever he would see me at school, he would call me, has been. And throw garbage at me. Now, I don't know where he got the garbage, but he always had garbage. And he was always throwing garbage at me, calling me. Has been, hey, has been. Got any work lately? And we're like, we're young kids. Well, he was always like this. And I really didn't like this guy. And it wasn't like, oh, he's joking. No, he was really being a bully and being mean.
- [11:22]
Maureen Callahan
Now there's something I just want to throw in here. You know, Patrick is laughing about it, and he's sort of. His affect is one of bemusement. But the detail with which he recalls this, it really goes to show just how much childhood bullying sticks with everyone. I mean, he's in his middle age. I was really happy to read. He's got a cop's face. Actually, Patrick, he reminds me a bit of Bill from Brooklyn, who's always mistaken for a cop. He can't walk around Bronx without somebody going, man, I didn't do anything. My brother's always like, man, I'm not a cop. And they're like, it's okay, we get it. You're undercover. I didn't do anything. Anyway, Patrick has apparently been. He's been working, like, on ncis. And I, I, I was really happy to read that, that, that he's still a working actor. And he talks about, this is so fun for anyone who, like, watched TV in the 70s or the 80s. He talks about being really close friends with Todd Bridges, who was shooting a hit sitcom called Different Strokes. And Diff'rent Strokes was about these two orphaned black kids who were adopted by a rich Park Avenue billionaire, a white guy who had a white daughter. And it was a monster, monster hit. And so Diff'rent Strokes was shooting on the same studio lot, which was right next to another show that the bully Patrick is talking about was on. It wasn't Little House, but it was on the same lot. And so Patrick one day went to go visit Todd on the set of diff'ren'rent Strokes, and here's what, here's what happened next.
- [12:54]
Patrick Labarto
Todd did not like this guy either. If it means anything, he is not a very well liked person. But we see this guy, and Todd and I, you know, are like, oh, here this guy comes. And this guy comes over and he starts making fun of both of us. Now Todd's on a TV show. I was on a TV show, but he starts making fun of us. Todd and I decided that we've had enough. And so Todd and I grab this guy and we throw him into a garbage bin. Now I'm Telling you this story, and you can see in my eyes that this made me really happy. I'm not proud of it.
- [13:31]
Maureen Callahan
I love that part of Patrick's anecdote. He's like, I'm not proud of it. I know it wasn't a good thing to do, but it made me really happy. Is there anything more gratifying than when a bully gets their comeuppance? I think not. Now, I think Patrick is a real hero here because he doesn't tease the identity. He doesn't go, now on the next episode of My pod, I'll tell you who it is. No, no, no. He gives the people what they want. Patrick, we would like to christen you an honorary troublemaker. And if you ever want to come on the nerve, consider yourself the recipient of an open invitation. Patrick tells us that he's heard. And remember, he's still a working actor in that town. So he would know he's heard that the bully hasn't changed a bit even now. Here we go. He's going to tell us who the bully is.
- [14:22]
Patrick Labarto
The guy that Todd and I threw into the garbage was Jason Bateman. Jason Bateman obviously was on Little House. And when I left Little House, he joined Little House. And so it was kind of the thing where, like, it was really a really touchy subject because here I was, I was just fired from Little House, and he was just hired, and he kept calling me, has been, and he kept throwing garbage on me. So when Todd and I saw him over at Universal, I think he was either on Silver Spoons or it's your move. And, you know, of course, Todd was on Different Strokes. It was a real good feeling to throw Jason Bateman in the garbage. No apologies. I'm sure down in the comments people will defend Jason Bateman, but. Yeah, let me know what you think in the comments.
- [15:08]
Maureen Callahan
Before we get to the comments. And Patrick's prediction was incorrect. Okay. People don't like Jason Bateman, and we're going to get into it. But it's. It's also really funny to hear them talk it. Like, that's how serious, like, a young Jason Bateman was about being on a show. Like, it's your move or silver spoons. He's like, I'm. I'm. I'm a sitcom star. I'm on real tv. You're a loser. And, you know, this is a child who's been fired. Adults have a really hard time in the acting profession because the rejection is so profound. There is no way to not take that rejection personally. No matter how much irrational mind might know, it wasn't the part for them. You know, there. There were other factors that just didn't make it work. Jason Bateman's a real prick, in my opinion. Okay? And if you look at that photo of him as a little kid, that still photo of Jason Bateman when he was on Little House. Look at those eyes. Those are dead. Ey. That kid is, like, seven, and he's got dead eyes. Now we're going to go to the comments under Patrick's. That. That. That episode of the POD that he did. Number one. I heard that Jason was so obnoxious on Silver Spoons that Ricky Schroeder's mom lobbied the producers to get him fired. Believable. Who knows if it's true, but it's got the sounds believable, right? There's an old episode of Punk'd Comment too, with JB on there, and it completely reveals his true character off camera. You cannot run the truth. It always catches up eventually. So then I thought to myself, hmm, let's go take a look at that episode of Punk'd. You remember, this was Ashton Kutcher show, back when Ashton Kutcher was kind of a thing from 2019. It was like an updated version of Candid Camera. And the whole premise was they played practical jokes on celebrities with hidden cams and audio. And, you know, it was. It was all played as a comedy. But, like, a lot of these celebrities were too dumb to realize how bad it made them look. Like, the masks, like, completely off. And I think they thought that as long as they laughed along once the gag was revealed, people would love them even more. Could they? Because they'd just be like, oh, good sport, good sport. Okay, I'm going to set up the gag for you. You're going to die. Okay? I died when I watched this. I couldn't believe it. I can't believe Jason Bateman's people haven't had this scrubbed. Okay, so Jason Bateman's friend. Again, this episode dates back to 2019. Who's in on the gag? He's in on the gag. They're driving to lunch. There are cams inside the car. His friend on purpose, but Bateman thinks it's an accident, is pulling in to the parking lot, and he sideswipes a parked car. And it does real damage. It does real damage. And Jason Bateman is like, his friends going like, ooh, ooh, that's bad. And Bateman's like, it's fine. Don't worry. No, you're good. Man, it's no big deal. Let's just go to lunch. So then they go to lunch, and Jason Bateman has a sight line. They're seated outdoors. To the owner of the car, I'm putting that in quotes in case you're listening. If you're listening, you really should watch this because you gotta see all the expressions and the micro expressions and the body language. So Jason Bateman, like, practically under his breath, is narrating his friend, has his back to the parking lot. What's going on? As the owner of the car discovers he's been sideswiped, and he's trying to find the person responsible. And there's a black passerby who I also believe is in on the. On the. On the gag. And the owner starts accusing the black passerby of being responsible. So. So listen to. Listen and watch Jason as he's keeping an eye on all of this going down in the parking lot. Here we go.
- [19:05]
Tim McKay
This is my brother's car, and I got the side of the molding pulling off. How's your karma.
- [19:12]
Maureen Callahan
Up, dude? What are you feeling right now? Dude, stop.
- [19:16]
Jason Bateman
How's that sleep gonna.
- [19:18]
Tim McKay
This wasn't like that when I pulled in an hour ago.
- [19:21]
Maureen Callahan
Hey, man, listen. I did not hit your car. So Jason is smirking and saying to his friend, hey, how's your karma? As these two are about to go out in the parking lot over an accident that they both know. They know who's responsible for that. And b. And he's smirking. He's going, how's your karma? How's that sleep gonna be tonight? Right? You're gonna get away with this. I think it's really funny. The fight escalates in the parking lot. Now, again, as far as Jason Bateman knows, as far as Jason Bateman knows, this is all real. And these guys are escalating, and it. It might come to blows. Here we go.
- [20:06]
Jason Bateman
It's really coming down hard on our boy.
- [20:09]
Maureen Callahan
This is.
- [20:09]
Tim McKay
No, it is. We're gonna stick around and we're gonna find out what happened. It.
- [20:12]
Maureen Callahan
This is because I'm blank. Okay, Again, in case you're listening and I can't implore you enough, go over to YouTube and watch this. Bateman goes. He. He starts yelling. He's like, I know you're responsible for this. He goes, oh, he's really coming down hard on him. And then he picks up his wrap. His, like, his wrap of, like, hummus wrapped in lettuce. Because, you know, Jason Bateman, I think, has an eating disorder. He shoves it into his mouth. He's like, oh, he's really coming down hard on him. Shoves the food into his mouth. Priorities. We're out to lunch for a healthy meal. And then the guy says, is this cause I'm black? Is this because I'm black? And Jason smirks, and he smiles. His eyes light up a little bit. He goes, oh, now he's making it a race thing. You know, people who lived through the LA race riots that almost saw Rodney King killed, one would think would be a little more sensitive to something being a race thing and potentially escalating. So then they finish lunch, and they're walking through the parking lot. Jason Bateman and his friend and a cop has now arrived on the scene. A cop. I mean, they're actors, but Bateman thinks this is real lapd. And the cop stops Jason Bateman and says, hey, man, do you see what went on here? Do you have any idea? You two are getting in your car. You clearly parked here. Here we go.
- [21:33]
Tim McKay
Sir.
- [21:34]
Maureen Callahan
How you doing? How are you?
- [21:36]
Jason Bateman
Are you in the restaurant?
- [21:37]
Tim McKay
Yeah. You were.
- [21:41]
Jason Bateman
See anything happen here?
- [21:42]
Maureen Callahan
No, he didn't. So the cop says to him, hey, you were in the restaurant, now you're here. Did you see anything happen here? And Jason's. Jason's. He's pretending he has no idea what the cop is talking about. He has no idea what the cops are doing there. He didn't just watch this whole argument unfold. And the cop says, did you see anything? And Bateman looks at the car and he goes, no, he lied. Flat out lied. Willing to let another. Shades of Ryan Reynolds, who, after confessing to having burned down his elementary school in Canada years later, says, I hope some other poor schmuck didn't go to jail over that or prison over that. Jason Bateman's ready to let this. This black man take the fall for something he knows he and his friend did. Sorry. Jason's complicit now. He's what we would call an accessory to the crime. He's not doing his best acting work here. Because the cop is like, this is. He stops them from leaving. These two think they're getting away with it. They get in the car, they're like, driving out of the parking lot. The cop stops and says, hey, hey, hey. You give me your id. Jason gets out of the car. He's like, what's going on? I got no idea what this is about. None. Here we go.
- [23:04]
Jason Bateman
What's going on? You got damage on the front of his car. That guy was hit great pain on the front you want to see was.
- [23:12]
Maureen Callahan
Pretending he has no idea. There. Let me look at this.
- [23:16]
Jason Bateman
That matches that car. Were you in an accident?
- [23:18]
Tim McKay
No. What happened?
- [23:20]
Jason Bateman
Why do you keep talking like I'm lying to you?
- [23:22]
Tim McKay
What?
- [23:23]
Jason Bateman
What?
- [23:23]
Maureen Callahan
You keep talking to me.
- [23:24]
Jason Bateman
You keep saying straight up what's going on. So I just want to end this right now.
- [23:27]
Maureen Callahan
Tell me what.
- [23:28]
Jason Bateman
I'm not driving the car. You're not driving a car. I'm not driving. We weren't involved in an accident. I wasn't driving the car. That car did not hit that car.
- [23:35]
Maureen Callahan
Danny, turn around.
- [23:37]
Jason Bateman
What?
- [23:38]
Maureen Callahan
Put your hands behind your head.
- [23:39]
Jason Bateman
I'm not. All right, put your hands behind your head.
- [23:41]
Maureen Callahan
Listen, are you kidding me right now? No, I'm not. Turn around.
- [23:43]
Jason Bateman
Spread your legs.
- [23:45]
Tim McKay
If you guys want to play games, we'll play.
- [23:46]
Maureen Callahan
They're arresting his friend.
- [23:48]
Mike Binder
Ow, man.
- [23:48]
Maureen Callahan
Go easy.
- [23:49]
Patrick Labarto
Easy. Easy, man.
- [23:51]
Maureen Callahan
Jason's just standing there watching it happen.
- [23:53]
Jason Bateman
Why is he getting.
- [23:54]
Tim McKay
I have no idea.
- [23:55]
Maureen Callahan
Listen, he's lying.
- [23:55]
Jason Bateman
You're lying. Just tell us what happened, and it's over.
- [24:04]
Maureen Callahan
He did it.
- [24:05]
Jason Bateman
But listen. Now you talk.
- [24:06]
Maureen Callahan
Now he admits it.
- [24:07]
Jason Bateman
He didn't want to come up to it. I'm like, dude, go be the big man.
- [24:12]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, so multiple things that actually might be a real cop who decided to play along for the day. I have no idea. But he's a good cop because he can tell. Tell the lies. Notice that Bateman's voice goes up when. When the cop says, you didn't hit this car. Look at the damage on your car. Look at the paint matching the car on that. On the car that was hit. You're gonna tell me you guys didn't hit this car? No lie. The voice goes way up. Then he's trying. Then. Then his story starts shifting. I wasn't driving the car. Now it's not a no. Now it's, well, I wasn't driving the car. So now he's throwing his friend under the bus. He's throwing his friend under the bus. Then he's like, the cops, like, tell me what happened. Tell me what happened, and we'll just. We'll put this to bed. And Bateman won't say anything. And then they arrest. Arrest the friend. Arrest the friend. They cuff him with his hands behind his back. And Jason Bateman goes, why are you cuffing the guy? Why are you cuffing the guy? You know, this is a celebrity who thinks we should just get away with this. Have you not seen my work? I was on Silver Spoons. I displaced one Patrick Labarto on Little house. Let me go. And let my friend get away with this, too. Let the black guy take the blame. Can you imagine? And this is like. This is. This is. These are the people who tell us all what to think and how to vote. And they're like the bastions of compassion and all this. And then. And then when Jason cops to the guy, the friend, he's like, all right, he hit the car. He hit the car. Just let him go. He hit the car. And then I don't know if you guys caught it, but he's. He's being very quiet. He says. I said to him, just be the big man. So then Jason lies and says, I told my friend, who. I was just saying, how's your karma? How you gonna sleep tonight? Oh, my God, this is funny. Look, they're making it a race thing. I told him to just be the big guy and cop to it. If I'm. If I'm the friend of Jason Bateman at the end of that. That little punk gag, and I see this whole thing play out, we are no longer friends. Now, in a New York Times interview about the end of Arrested Development, the late Jessica Walter, brilliant actress. Brilliant. Okay. She spoke about Jeffrey Tambor verbally abusing her on that set. And there's audio from this New York Times interview, and it's embedded in the piece. And Jason Bateman, guess who jumped to whose defense? One bully protecting another. Here we go.
- [26:41]
Jason Bateman
It's a very amorphous process, this sort of bullshit that we do. You know, making a fake life. It's a weird thing, and it is a breeding ground for atypical behavior. And certain people have certain processes.
- [26:56]
Maureen Callahan
That doesn't mean it's acceptable.
- [26:57]
Tim McKay
And the point is that things are changing.
- [27:01]
Maureen Callahan
I just realized in this conversation, I have to let go of being angry at him. He never crossed the line on our show with any, you know, sexual. Whatever. Verbally. Yes, he harassed me, but I. He did apologize. I have to let it go, and I. I have to give you a chance to. To, you know, for us to be friends again. But it's. It's hard because, honestly, Jason says this happens all the time. In, like, almost 60 years of working, I've never had anybody yell at me like that on a set. Granted, these are actors, but that, to me, sounds like real true distress, because she's really. She's trying to keep herself in. In check. And she says, Jason says I have to forgive him, and I just have to accept it. But in over 60 years of working, I've never been Talked to like that on a set. Now here's Jason on his relationship with his older sister Justine, who was really a much bigger star than he was when they were young actors. Justine was on a show with Michael J. Fox called Family Ties. It was an anchor of what was then in the 80s, the NBC, like blockbuster Thursday night. Nobody could compete with it lineup. It was like the Cosby Show. It was Family Ties. This thing was a cultural. How do you think they get along now? Let's ask Jason.
- [28:33]
Tim McKay
You have a famous sister, Justine, and I'm curious, what is your relationship like.
- [28:38]
Maureen Callahan
With her right now?
- [28:40]
Jason Bateman
We have lunch coming up next week. Great. We respect one another. We don't see each other a ton, mostly because it's kind of the way we were brought up. As we are now adult children and adults siblings. There isn't the typical sort of like, well, we see each other every Thanksgiving or every Christmas and our kids, our cousins, there isn't that in a great way. And there's a way in which we live that is non traditional. And it's very consistent with the way that we were brought up. We allow each other to be a different person than maybe the last time I saw you, which could have been a year ago or we could ago. That's sort of a contract you have with people that are your very close friends.
- [29:28]
Maureen Callahan
You do, you do. There's a lot of yapping there. There's a lot of verbiage to get to a lot of nothing, which is I'm going to translate into English. I'm going to translate into regular, sane people. He thinks his sister is full maga. My guess, my guess, we don't. Our children really don't have a relationship. I mean, they're cousins, they live in the same state last I checked. He's like, you know, we're not. It's not like a typical blah, blah, blah. Okay, let's listen to Jason talk about Jennifer Aniston by comparison. You know, I wonder, I do wonder if Justine Bateman had the level of fame that Jennifer Aniston has. I wonder if his relationship with his sister might be a bit different. I wonder if he would reconsider that. I really do. Because Jason has been quote BFFs with Jennifer Aniston. I almost said Aston. That makes more sense. I think she's an. Anyway, last seen Jennifer Aniston. Last seen letting her boyfriend with the limp, you know, the restaurant door slam in his face as she keeps moving on past the pot, the paparazzi, to her suv. Okay, so Jennifer was The subject of a recent Vanity Fair cover story. And they went to Jason Bateman for quotes. And of course, this is all pre approved. You know, he goes to Jennifer, Jennifer says yes. Or Jennifer says, I told that any fair to go talk to you, Jason. Give them a nice flowery quote about me. So this is not. This is what Jason Bateman says about his friend. Okay? Quote, Bateman shared that Aniston is very close with his two daughters, Francesca, 18, and Maple Maple, 13. Not the kid's fault, really, you guys. You had to name her Maple whom. Whom he shares with wife, Amanda Anka. In fact, Bateman says Aniston is more of a co mom with Anka than just a friend or aunt. Quote, she almost makes us parents look bad because she's so incredibly attentive and consistent with her curiosity and warmth. When he's asked if she's an aunt to his daughters, Bateman says, aunts you might not see all the time. She's almost closer to a co mom with Amanda. I wonder how that went down with Amanda, who is the mother of these two girls? His wife. And, you know, Justine must have been chapped by that. You know, their kids, Jason's kids are always over at Aniston's house. What about Justine? She's the real aunt. Jason's not offering any other real reason why he's not so close to Justine. You know, it's very strange. I think it's very strange. I think he's a real fucking asshole. I really do. Now, there's an. There's a moment in this interview with Esquire that I found profoundly disturbing and very telling. Jason talks about what he sees as the difference between love and sex. Here we go.
- [32:33]
Tim McKay
What's the difference between love and sex?
- [32:37]
Jason Bateman
Love is something that you feel and share.
- [32:47]
Maureen Callahan
Clicking on the human.
- [32:50]
Jason Bateman
Someone else the robot's printing. Sex is something you do with someone else sometimes with that person, you know? And I mean, like, I'm sure you've had sex with people that you didn't love.
- [33:01]
Maureen Callahan
I think he just told on himself.
- [33:03]
Jason Bateman
A little bit activity. I guess maybe the more apt sort of yin yang thing is what's the difference between sex and making love? Which is fucking and making love, maybe.
- [33:14]
Patrick Labarto
Sure.
- [33:15]
Jason Bateman
I just don't know if sex and love are even in the same bin.
- [33:20]
Maureen Callahan
He doesn't know if sex and love are even in the same bin. I actually am going to revisit my initial armchair diagnosis as your cultural criminal prosecutor. I think he is kind of a psychopath. I do. He doesn't know if sex and love belong in the same bin. I mean, if I'm his wife, I am deeply disturbed. And I, when I said I think he told himself on it, I think, I think he told on himself a little bit. He said, you know, sex is something you do with like sometimes that person. Now let's look at, look, look at him and his relationship, the way he relates to his BFF Jennifer Aniston. They've done quite a few movies together and I think Jennifer Aniston is the one for him. I think he much would have preferred to be with Jennifer. This is a quiz they did with BuzzFeed about nine years ago. It's got over 1 million views. And when you listen to it, this is a question called what's your secret talent? And as if we needed any more proof that Jennifer Innocent Aniston is a profoundly boring, incurious, uninterested, superficial, shallow person. This is it. Listen to her answer to this question and then listen to Jason's embedded compliment to Jen. Here we go. Hair and makeup.
- [34:44]
Mike Binder
Hair.
- [34:45]
Jason Bateman
It's not a secret.
- [34:46]
Maureen Callahan
You're gorgeous. No. For other people.
- [34:48]
Jason Bateman
Throw together a cheese board like you can't believe.
- [34:54]
Maureen Callahan
She says, my, my hidden talent is hair and makeup. And he's like, oh, no surprise, you're gorgeous. That's Jason Bateman for you. Coming up, we have a tribute to two extraordinary talents. We have a celebrity roundup and your feedback. Back in a minute. Are you looking to support more made in the USA manufacturing this holiday season? Whether it's home decor, clothing or unique gifts, it's become harder than to find high quality products that aren't made overseas. And that is where a warehouse comes in. It is your one stop shop for artisanal, one of a kind gifts. With products from over 100 different vendors, they are deeply committed to supporting American man makers and manufacturers. They're easy to navigate. Online marketplace lets you browse a wide range of independent creators so you can feel good knowing that your purchase supports real people and ethical business practices. This holiday season, explore warehouses, gift guides and holiday collection featuring handmade ornaments, greeting cards, thoughtful gifts under 50 bucks and more. Made in the USA favorites that make any gift truly meaningful. I just got a gorgeous multicolored fun blanket from a warehouse and it feels soft and it's cozy and it's so warm. It's got some weight to it, it's substantial, it's high quality. That's what you're going to find over at a warehouse where they believe that a thoughtful gift isn't about fancy labels or big brand names. It is about the dedication, the creativity and the care that goes into every product. Join the growing community of shoppers supporting over 100 vetted small business makers. Head to a warehouseshop.com and use code the nerve for 15 off your first order. That's awarehouseshop.com code the nerve. We are back. Now, before we get to your feedback, the Nerve wants to just take a moment to honor the lives of two really unique figures who we lost. Bestselling novelist Sophie Kinsella passed away this week. She was 55 years old. She had recently been diagnosed with glioblastoma. That's a very, very fast moving brain cancer. She was the British author best known for writing the blockbuster novel Confessions of a Shopaholic, which was published in 2000. It later became a movie starring Isla Fisher. And it's just tragic for her family and it's just tragic to lose somebody so talented at such a young age. And then there's Pam Hogg, who I was shocked to see this. She got a huge, deservedly so obit in the New York Times. Huge. The headline reads, pam Hogg, designer whose lavish clothes Lord Rock stars dies at 74. She was such a pioneer. She was, you know, people like Alexander McQueen really owed a debt to her. She dressed everyone from Kate Moss to Beyonce. Even Princess Diana once wore one of her dresses. She was a true renegade and considered in many ways a spiritual successor to Vivienne Westwood. She was called punk in spirit, visionary in execution, and I like to think that the Nerve carries more than a little bit of punk spirit. I also wanted to give a shout out before going on to our celeb roundup. This came from a special troublemaker and we're going to go to the troublemaker feedback in a moment. But this is a troublemaker and we're going to put the bulk of her info on our sub stack who has is a fan of the Nerf, a lifelong monarchist and is selling Meghan Markle inspired product. She sent in a to the woodshed scented candle. They smell amazing. She also sent in you've got the nerve scented candle. And then we've got your flower, flower sprinkles and ginger Winger with a, with a crown askew on a, on a sad, featureless little face. So we love it. We love it. Troublemaker Leslie, who sent this wonderful card which reads, you made my day. Hey, right back at you, sister Troublemakers. You can find more info on our subject stack now. Timothy Shamalama Ding Dong is out doing his press Tour for his shitty movie Marty Supreme. I don't care how much stuff I read about this being the movie of the year about a guy in underground ping pong in New York City in like the 50s. This kid on like, we are going to take him in shackles from the woodshed to the wood chipper Nerve Awards next week. Watch for it. Now he's out there and he's being asked. He's asked by this journalist. It looks like he's in like a European city or something. So now he's really feeling important if that's the case, like, oh, look at me, like I'm in Venice or wherever the he is. And he's asked what has stayed with him in his role as Marty Supreme. Who really cares? Who really gives a. Okay, now, now he doesn't seem to care either because he uses this question to pivot to. I, I can't do it. I can't spoil it for you. I can't spoil it. Watch this clip again. If you are just listening, you gotta watch it. Okay, here we go.
- [41:17]
Jason Bateman
Stayed with you about this role.
- [41:21]
Timothy Shamalama Ding Dong
The assertiveness, the confidence, the. Sometimes you gotta call things as. As it is, as they are and not tiptoe, especially as you get older. I'm about to be 30. I want to look back on my interviews when I'm fried and mentally anguished in my 60s and look back at my interviews in my late 20. Man, I was really speaking the truth and not afraid of the truth.
- [41:48]
Maureen Callahan
Just get to attempt.
- [41:49]
Timothy Shamalama Ding Dong
That said, this is, is probably my best performance, you know, and then it's been like seven, eight years that I feel like I've been handing in really, really committed, top of the line performances. And it's important to say it out loud because the discipline and the work ethic I'm bringing to these things, I don't want people to take for granted. I don't want to take for granted. This is really some top level shit.
- [42:18]
Maureen Callahan
Oh, my God, you guys. Oh, my God. Okay, so Timmy's acting like he's in a performance review at his corporate gig. He's like, listen, I've been here seven or eight years and I haven't really had a substantial raise. And, you know, I've been bringing stuff to this table. First of all, it's your job. He's like, my discipline and my work ethic. Talk to any of us out here in these mean streets, you. Everybody who wants to get anywhere in life brings discipline and a work ethic. That's just how it is. That's Called the business of living a life and getting a job and building a career and listen, you little prick, you little fuckwit, the world doesn't know you jack fucking shit. Do you know what Leonardo DiCaprio had to do to finally win an Oscar? Do you know, as discussed over on Emily's show the other night, as I said, he had to pretend that a bear raped him while he was shooting the Revenant. Okay, get back to us when you can come up with something that inventive and take your little ping pong movie and shove it up your ass. Oh my God, that felt so cathartic. So cathartic. Now onto one of the nerves favorites. As we all know, I have a very complicated, deeply unhealthy relationship with one Ben Affleck. Shame crush for the ages, you know, what can I say? Now, Mike Binder, who is a highly mediocre filmmaker and really thinks he's a real baller, you know, a real player in that town. He gave an interview over at Stephen Baldwin's podcast. Like, who even knew Stephen Baldwin had a podcast? Anyway, these two are talking about whatever and. And Mike, part of Mike Binder's problem. And this is why he's such a mediocre filmmaker who stalled out. He doesn't know how to tell a story. He doesn't know how to. How to have a beginning, a middle, an end, and some conflict and wrap it up tightly, okay? And make it have some punch. So I really had to edit this. I had to edit this deeply. But he was talking about the reason that Ben Affleck and Steven Spielberg have. Have been like this for decades and why Steven Spielberg to this day will never. Now will he not put Ben Affleck in a movie because of Ben's wooden acting? No, he will not. In fact, it's a personal beef and we're going to talk about it at the end. And this is what we're going to ask you guys to vote on too, because I do have questions. Here we go.
- [44:47]
Mike Binder
And then Ben Affleck comes to my editing room and watches Upside of Anger. Because I want to do your next movie.
- [44:57]
Maureen Callahan
Mediocre film.
- [44:58]
Mike Binder
This movie. That Man About Town at dreamworks. So I know I want to do it.
- [45:02]
Jason Bateman
It.
- [45:03]
Mike Binder
I haven't even read the script yet, but I want to do it. I said, okay. That's why I wanted to see the movie. So we make a deal. He's going to do it. We shake hands, we'll do it.
- [45:13]
Maureen Callahan
Means nothing.
- [45:13]
Mike Binder
I call Stephen. Stephen says, no, can't do it. With him. We just bombed with a movie with him. He's got that whole JLO thing going on now. And I have other problems with him, so. And it's a good story, too, because I know it's amazing. I love both these guys, and they're both smarter than me.
- [45:36]
Maureen Callahan
But get to it, Mike. Jesus.
- [45:39]
Mike Binder
And so did I. So Stephen says, mike, let me tell you something. One time, he was going with my goddaughter, Gwyneth, and we all went on a trip to Spain, I believe it was. And my son was A little boy, was playing in the pool, and he got out of the pool, and Ben came in fully dressed, and my son pushed Ben into the pool. And Ben got really mad at him, and he came out of the pool and he picked him up and he threw him back into the pool and made my son cry. I said, okay, what does this have to do with anything? He goes, I just don't like to work with him. Plus, his last two movies bombed.
- [46:29]
Maureen Callahan
Plus, his last two movies bombed. What a shift. Okay, listen, I've seen varying takes on this little conflict, and I'm really curious. First of all, I think it really matters how old the kid was. I really do. And I don't necessarily think the kid was a little boy. And I'll tell you why. My theory of the case as your prosecutor, Ben affleck is like, 6 4. He's a substantial guy. I don't think a small child would really be able to come at a Ben Affleck with the level of force, you know, that would be able to just throw a guy that big in a pool fully clothed. So what's the age? What are we talking about? And I'm gonna tell you something else. Spielberg's reaction that he made my kid cry. Instead of saying, like, hey, my kid was totally in the wrong. What are you doing having a kid who's throwing your fully dressed guests into swimming pools? Like, that's a. That's a parenting fail. You should have been maybe mad at the kid, not Affleck. I don't think Affleck responded well at all. Like, I think he should have just taken it, you know? But, like, I think this is really. This is. This is on face value, it seems like it's one way, right? Like, the adult is definitely in the wrong. But then I think when you dig a little bit deeper, as we love to do here at the Nerve, the cultural archeologists that we are, I think it might be a little bit more complicated than that. Anyway, we've got a poll going over at the nerve show. So please go over and weigh in and we can discuss next week. Okay now the results are in. Speaking of polls on whether or not producer Marlena will be getting bangs and we're going to share those results in just a bit. We love a cliffhanger over here. Now we are on to troublemaker feedback. And guys, yeah, my, my Dahmer glasses are back. I don't care if you like them. All right now. I love you. I love you. You know that. But we have to, we all have to sort of march to our own drummer. Okay now. Hi Maureen. Clinically trained psychologist, behavioral analyst and troublemaker from down under checking in about Jack Schlossberg. I am calling it now again. Remember, she just gave us her bona fides. Okay? This is just this troublemaker's opinion. Jack Schlossberg. This man is definitely on SSRIs. That glacially slow blink rate. The emotional range of a cardboard cutout. The affect flatter than week old champagne. Textbook. He's so spectacularly dull. This is what happens when you're desperately trying to grift off of your ancestors accomplishments while bringing absolutely nothing to the table yourself. The Kennedy gene pool has clearly been drained to the dregs. Thank you, troublemaker. Hi Maureen. This is my first time writing in. As you mentioned the other day, this is a proud troublemaker, self identified by the way. Jennifer Aniston's boyfriend has some kind of illness resulting in him periodically using a cane. Justice troublemaker Emily from Cali. I'm not saying he's faking it. I'd just like to point out that scam artists often use vulnerability as a tool to build trust. What an insight. Also, I've never really heard Jacqueline Kennedy's voice until your mini nerve. I am now confident you are not the only troublemaker Emily to to make this connection that she had to have been a big influence for the character of Moira on Schitt's Creek, played by the absolutely amazing Catherine o'. Hara. Agreed on all. Dear Maureen, this popped into my mailbox this morning and as a conscientious and dutiful troublemaker, I am forwarding to you to warn Australia of the impending doom cloud that will be descending upon these fair shores. We've already had to deal with Oprah. Keep Australia misery free. Yours faithfully, troublemaker Philomena. Hi Philomena. She attaches this email that wound up in her inbox. Growth faculty is the exclusive host of in conversation with Michelle Obama in Melbourne on 19 May and in Sydney on 20 May. As a valued client, I wanted to offer you a rare and privileged experience with friends for an exclusive VIP entertainment package which you know is the cost of like five monthly mortgage payments. Hi Maureen. I thought I would send this to you again one last time in case it slipped through the cracks. I am so glad you did. Troublemaker Mike from Wisconsin. You take the first time offenders to the woodshed. If they continue to offend you, take them onto the wood chipper. And if they are terribly bad, repeat offenders in need of more punishment, Mar, Markle, etc. Then where to next? Great question. As a 71 year old man living in Wisconsin who has taken down many trees around my house, I see another step that may be needed. Please do tell Mike, after a tree is taken down and gone on to the wood chipper, a stump remains in the ground as a nasty reminder of the tree once there. So for your worst offenders who continue to annoy and have already been put put in the chipper, I propose getting out the stump grinder. This is a large, loud, crude device with a rotating blade. Blade, excuse me. That grinds out the last remnants of the tree taken down. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it Mike? We agree completely and producer Marlena, that is task number one for next week. We're gonna see if we can get it. Tree stump grinder. It's amazing. We absolutely need another another step in this process of ridding the culture of our vulgarians. Lastly, poll results are in. Bangs 57%. No bangs, 43%. There is not even a margin of error. Marlena, we will be recording you as you commit to real bangs. Keep your feedback coming. Email me at maureenevilmakehairmedia.com or DM me on Instagram at Maureen Callahan, Writer or at the Nerve show. And remember, subscribe to the nerves substack@thenerveshow.com up next, our friend Tim, the celebrity makeup artist Tim McKay will be here to dish on our newest, newest Hate watch. See you in a minute. As the weather gets colder, blood pressure tends to rise due to constricting blood vessels, increased salt cravings and less physical activity. But here is the good news. You have the power to take control with 120Life. 120Life is a blend of great tasting super fruit juices that can actually help lower your blood pressure naturally. It is trusted by over 1, 000 health professionals and used by people just like you who have seen real measurable results. You can try it yourself risk free with their two week trial. Just go to 120life.com and use use Code Nerve. That's N E R v e to save 15. You can track your progress with a simple blood pressure monitor. Watch your numbers drop and feel the difference. Plus, it's completely risk free. If you don't see lower numbers in two weeks, you get your money back. Go to 120life.com that's 120life.com and remember to use code nerve to save 15. This is serious. This is your life we're talking about. 120 life can help. Don't wait. Take control of your health today. We are back. And we are back with the one and only Tim McKay. You love him. We love him here at the Nerve. And you know, we went through and just like that together, we went through the morning show together and then we said we need another hate watch. And we decided very quickly and easily on the Beast in Me. Hello, Tim. It's so lovely to see you.
- [54:37]
Tim McKay
Hey, Maureen, thank you for having me back for another fun breakdown of another terrible show.
- [54:43]
Maureen Callahan
I also, before we begin, I have to say this is how lovely Tim is. He did my makeup recently and he gave me just in case I needed to touch up after he left, this tube of Hermes lipstick which I'm wearing at the moment. And of course I'm, I'm going to return it to you, but that's just how lovely Tim is. Like, I've had it in my makeup bag for like a week and a half with like no pressure whatsoever to return.
- [55:08]
Tim McKay
I keep forgetting about it, honestly. But thank you so much for holding onto it. And it looks so good on you. I mean, you probably should just keep it. So.
- [55:14]
Maureen Callahan
You're the sweetest. No, I will return it, of course. Now, before we get in to the Beast in Me, let's take a little bit of a look at just a bit of the trailer to table set. In case you haven't seen it, this thing is like still in the top 10 on Netflix and it's been out for like a month. And the, the very brief premise is Matthew Reese, who I loved, loved, loved in the Americans. Incredible actor. That show is to die. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor over the holidays, binge it. He's basically playing a Robert Durst character, but they won't lean into it like a real, like a scion of a New York, a famous New York City billionaire real estate developer company who people around him, including one wife, are always being murdered or going missing. Okay. They really should have Leaned into the Robert Durst of it all. But first, okay, let's take a look at a little bit again of the trailer. Here we go. Why are you here? Did you kill her? What do you think? Kyle Jarvis moved in down the street from me. Maybe my next book should be about him. Whole world thinks I know what happened, but I didn't kill my wife. People just want gossip and carnage. You want to be re. Legitimized, I can offer a new narrative.
- [56:39]
Timothy Shamalama Ding Dong
I'm gonna roll the dice on you.
- [56:41]
Maureen Callahan
Well, all right, then. Don't let me down. Spending all that time with a possible murderer doesn't scare you? You're not how I pictured you. I had a rough few years. You got bloodlust. I can smell it. Tim, talk to me about how this show landed for you. It's eight episodes, and I personally really had trouble getting past episode three. I am kind of glad that I forced myself all the way, but there's something telling I'm going to say. When I got to the final episode, I paused it 13 minutes before it even ended. And I just finished it last night. So it's not what I would call propulsive storytelling.
- [57:31]
Tim McKay
No, I was. I mean, I'm not gonna say I was so let down by this show because I. It really. I could tell just from the trailers. I was like, something about it is just giving stale and like, just kind of dull. It doesn't seem like a very gripping mystery. And spoilers. There really is no mystery that the twist of the whole show. Are we allowed to give spoilers here? I mean, it's been out for a while.
- [57:52]
Maureen Callahan
I think we've. Yeah, it's been out for a while, and I think we're. We're alerting people in case they do want to watch to duck out of the conversation now.
- [57:59]
Tim McKay
Spoilers ahead. So just. Just to touch it, because we are. We're summing up the whole show, and it just. It's wild. Like, I love thrillers. Like, all the books that I have on my bookshelf are thrillers. I'm constantly watching them. I. My favorite movie as a kid was Clue. And my first, like, horror movie was Screaming because it's a whodunit, but like a horror movie version. So I love these kind of shows and these kind of movies. And the first three episodes, like you said, Maureen, a slog. And I was falling asleep on the couch. I had to rewatch all three because I was like, maybe it's like a book. Maybe it's like a book that just takes a little While to get into it. And I love thrillers. And the whole twist of the show is that there literally is no twist. Like, everything you think about the bad guy, about the Marion Cotillard mustache twirling bad guy, like, is exactly true. Like, everything you think about him, like, everything that they're like, I wonder if, like, this could be him. It's like, oh, yeah, it is. And. And it's just funny that in the commercial, Matthew Reese says, don't let me down. And I'm like. Like the show did.
- [58:56]
Maureen Callahan
Because literally, that's really funny.
- [58:59]
Tim McKay
It did let me down.
- [59:01]
Maureen Callahan
You know, it's like, you. I really. I. I love true crime and I love a great psychological thriller, be it in book form or film form. And like, my favorites are, like, Patricia Highsmith Hitchcock films like Notorious noir like Laura, where you're never quite sure who the killer is. And you're really brought into this world, a very specific world. And this. This felt like, very flat. This felt like. There's this thing that's going on in the culture now where, you know, prestige TV has really kind of died. And I feel like these streamers think if you just throw some rich people into some mansions and have a murder happen. There you go. And it takes a lot more than that. It takes so much more than that for a propulsive view.
- [59:52]
Tim McKay
I mean, if anything is proof of that, that show all's fair. It's like the complete proof of that. Like, you. Just because you have glamorous, beautiful women in every scene doesn't mean that it's a watchable show. That's actually. That's an unwatchable show. All's fair. But, yeah, I mean, this show, it just had almost. It was the opposite. Like, that show is so colorful and, like, blinding, and this show was so stale and dreary and, like. Yeah. Very cold feeling, you know, I felt.
- [60:18]
Maureen Callahan
The same way about the other sister, the Jessica Biel. Oh, yeah, it was the same thing. It was so flat. I was like, I don't care. I don't care what happens. I don't care who did it. I don't care. You know, it's. Now, I wanted to ask you about. I wanted to go in with you on some of the hair and makeup because once you said to me that the trick for doing hair for any film or television production is you have to make the hair look good, but you also have to make the hair look not too good. Like the character herself got up in the morning and styled the hair herself, Right? Absolutely. One of the things that stuck out to me was the hair and makeup up on the Matthew Reese slash Robert Durst character's first wife, who he murders. And I have some thoughts on that, but we're going to show her confronting her personal assistant who will go on to marry her husband once. Once. Once she's dead. And I want to. I want to do a little compare and contrast about the hair and makeup. Here we go. What are you doing?
- [61:29]
Tim McKay
What?
- [61:31]
Maureen Callahan
You were just going through my things. I saw you. I was looking for your medication. It's in my office, I think. But you've been taking it. Jesus. Nina.
- [61:47]
Tim McKay
Yes.
- [61:50]
Maureen Callahan
Okay. The brunette with the. With the red highlight is the wife, and Nina is her assistant, soon to be replacement. Tim, give me your thoughts on the wife's makeup and hair.
- [62:02]
Tim McKay
The wife. The hair doesn't bother me too much. It looks like she did it herself. It looks like she just flat ironed it.
- [62:08]
Maureen Callahan
But the.
- [62:08]
Tim McKay
But the makeup, that dark lip, from the very first shot of it, it's so funny because it's such a distraction, like, from. We see a photo of the wife at first, like, when she's dead, we learn about that. Like, oh, he had a wife that was killed or she went missing. We see a photo of her and. And she looks very natural, radiant, beautiful. When it cuts to this flashback and she has a harsh, dark lip, it is such a contrast to that photo that at first I was like, who the hell is that? Like, I thought maybe she just worked at the place. And I'm like, oh, that's the wife. And I'm like, oh. So they gave her a dark lip to symbolize how dark she feels inside and, like, how gloom and doom. I feel like that's the most unflattering lipstick they could have put on her. There's other ways of showing it. I mean, like, it looks like in her face that she's tired, that she's exhausted and stressed out. And I think the actress was actually really good. But the lipstick, it just. It's too distracting to the point where, like, I was. Yeah. Confused of who she was, and then I couldn't stop staring at it.
- [63:00]
Maureen Callahan
And she's also got a very dark manicure. It's. It's like a Chanel vamp, nearly black. Now she's got the right kind of nail length like a wealthy woman will never have, like a coffin nail. She'll have a very short nail, extremely well manicured, the proper shape. But I felt nothing vulgar, but I felt for the wife of a billionaire who probably came from money herself, this Kind of look would never fly with a guy like that or with his family. She looks cheap. That heavy makeup and that heavy nail on a complexion that's beautiful. She's got this olive, almost caramel complexion and this beautiful hair. It's just. It's detracting from her beauty rather than augmenting it. And she would never go for that. She would never go for that.
- [63:48]
Jason Bateman
That.
- [63:49]
Tim McKay
I remember back in, like, 2014, I worked for Mac Cosmetics, and there was a lipstick called Smoked Purple. And I really wonder if that is the color that they used on this show, because it's a very matte, very dry, very like. Yeah, it's like a plum, but a blackened plum. And I wonder if that's what they use. And again, that was popular, like, for a hot minute in, like, 2014, 2015, when, like, bright lipsticks were really popular. 2019, I don't know if people were wearing borderline black lipstick, especially wealthy women.
- [64:18]
Maureen Callahan
Yes. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Now, Claire Danes in this. In this. In this project. Because it seems that the Internet has had enough of Claire Danes and her cry face. And to paraphrase Spinal Tap, Claire Danes is always at 11, okay? Her amp. Her internal amp is always at 11, and she needs to bring it down. We need some proper modulation, okay? And it's. It's. This is. This is, I think, what makes this. This show a difficult watch to continue with because she's like an exposed nerve. She's like a live wire. She is so uncomfortable in her own skin. And I can't tell if hair and makeup did her dirty, if the lighting department and the director did her dirty, if people really do hate her. And I'm going to say, as someone who interviewed her when I was a baby reporter and she was still a teenager, Claire Danes was an asshole even back then, okay? So I don't think. I don't think she's very well liked. And I think the way that she's photographed in this thing is proof positive. Let's take a look, and then you and I will talk about it. Because I've seen. I've seen the way he looks at you, the way he talks to you. He doesn't respect you enough to let you in. I think. I think you believe. Believe the lie. And I think he resents you for it. Look, I know. I know what it's like to double down on the story.
- [65:53]
Tim McKay
Oh, my God.
- [65:54]
Maureen Callahan
I can't. I can't. She's using every.
- [65:57]
Tim McKay
Every muscle at once. That's what it is. It's like the Complete opposite of Kim Kardashian. She's using the eyes and the cheeks and all. It's almost like, like, don't take a freeze frame of that.
- [66:06]
Maureen Callahan
It's so aggressive and it's so the opposite of what like Britney Snow is doing over here. And I think Britney Snow is building a nice little career for herself in the Netflix world as sort of the passive character, the passive protagonist. We saw it in the Hunting Wives, another show I could not get past, like episode two. And we're seeing it here. What do you make also of, first of all, what do you make of even the way that Claire Danes is lit in this, in this scene?
- [66:39]
Tim McKay
I just think, I mean, I don't think they did it on purpose for her. I think, like her character is supposed to be this downtrodden lesbian, you know, very depressed. And so like they think, oh yeah, she wouldn't be wearing makeup. I think, you know, especially with all the close ups, they really couldn't put too much makeup on her. But it just sucks because it's kind of like, whoa. Like she uses a lot of facial expression. So I feel like they maybe could have like, maybe like, hey, Claire, don't tremble the lip at the same time as your eyes are bulging out of your head just to kind of bring it back a little bit. But I think what you said about Britney Snow is right. Like, she's a great actress. I mean, I was hoping that there'd be some kind of twist where she would be the killer at the end or she would have anything to do with anything, but nope. Turns out she was just an assistant.
- [67:21]
Maureen Callahan
But second wife.
- [67:23]
Tim McKay
Yeah, it's second wife. And what you said is actually so accurate because you said wealthy. The wealthier you are, the less makeup you start to see on the person. And you know, that's kind of what her character did too. She wore a lot of eye makeup and the first wife even called her out for it. Like you wear too much makeup and as she's wearing like black lipstick.
- [67:41]
Maureen Callahan
Yeah. Like you're a cheap striver from New Jersey.
- [67:43]
Tim McKay
Yeah. And then once she marries him, Britney Snow, she like tones it down and she wants to look more reserved and classy and wear creams and blouses.
- [67:51]
Maureen Callahan
Like Meghan Markle.
- [67:53]
Tim McKay
Yeah. Completely change your personality once you marry.
- [67:55]
Maureen Callahan
Let's get some Max Mara in there and like no makeup look and just, you know, that kind of zonk out. I'm on dolls all day.
- [68:02]
Tim McKay
Uh huh. I stay home, drink wine at 1pm yeah, exactly.
- [68:06]
Maureen Callahan
Now I wanted to look just for kicks, as we close this out, our latest hate watch. I don't know if you've seen these memes, and I'm including this for any troublemakers who may have missed it. There is this woman named Beth Hoyt on Instagram who has been doing impressions of Claire Danes, just trying to go about her daily life and making, in this instance, a dental appointment. Here we go. Yeah, hi. Yeah, I. I just got a call that I'm due, I don't know, Tuesdays.
- [68:38]
Tim McKay
What am I doing on October 4th of 2026? I don't.
- [68:41]
Patrick Labarto
I don't know.
- [68:42]
Timothy Shamalama Ding Dong
I don't.
- [68:43]
Patrick Labarto
I don't know.
- [68:44]
Tim McKay
It's so true.
- [68:47]
Maureen Callahan
It could just be exposed gums. Okay, that's. That's good. That's good. We got it. But it's like, it's like, it's. I don't think Claire Danes is aware that she is about. She is like. Like she is going into full camp as Claire Danes. Like, she's. If she doesn't pull this back, like the cry face made her very famous on my so Called Life. But, like, to your point, and you would know this as a makeup artist for film and television, like, when people are actually about to cry, they do everything they can to. To try to stop themselves if they're in public or dealing with another person. Your entire face doesn't become a jungle gym, like an animated jungle gym.
- [69:27]
Patrick Labarto
No.
- [69:28]
Tim McKay
It's almost like they worked her to the bone and they waited until the very last take that she did and she was exhausted and putting everything into the perfect. That's the one that we're going to choose every single time after take 107, when she's broken down, that's what we'll use. That's almost the performance she gives every time this over. Exhausted, almost just trying to get through it, get it out there so she can get the scene over with. I liked Claire Danes growing up. I just never found her to be like a leading lady. I don't know.
- [69:57]
Maureen Callahan
Great point. She's not. She's not a leading lady. You know what? I think you're right about that. And I think that's what animates so much of her, of her actual acting. Her performances, there's always. They are filled with rage. They really are. You know, the flip side of sadness is often rage. And I think that maybe. I think we may have located the source of the rage because. Do you remember, just to close this out, I said. I know I said that before, but remember when she was cast opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet.
- [70:31]
Tim McKay
Yes. Oh, my God.
- [70:32]
Maureen Callahan
And originally, so the story goes that Natalie Portman was supposed to get that part because Natalie Portman was a young ingenue, a true beauty. And they thought that in the screen tests, Natalie looked like a child next to Leo. So she was out and Claire was in. But part of the critique with Claire was that she wasn't pretty enough to play Juliet.
- [70:56]
Tim McKay
Wow. So. But they went with her anyways.
- [70:59]
Maureen Callahan
They went with her anyway. Even, you know, she was a great actress and she could handle the material, but it was hard to buy. Like, imagine picture, like, again, up with a Leo, like Claire Danes in Titanic instead of a Kate Winslet. But no, no, Right.
- [71:16]
Tim McKay
No, I remember I've talented Mr. Ripley.
- [71:20]
Maureen Callahan
Claire Danes with Jude Law instead of Gwyneth. Are we right? Are we right?
- [71:25]
Tim McKay
No, she was in the Terminator franchise, and she was okay in that, but, like, she. Grungy, gritty, like, again. I can't really see her playing a straight woman again, that's for sure. After seeing her in this show, I.
- [71:36]
Maureen Callahan
Know she was a little too good at it.
- [71:38]
Tim McKay
A little too good at being a hardcore Les. No, I'm just kidding. Clearly, I'm gay, so I'm like, I'm gay. I can say that. No, but I've had a Crush on Leonardo DiCaprio since I was, like, five years old. And I remember when Romeo and Juliet came out, and I remember being like, why her, though? Like, why her? Because I understood Kate. Kate Winslet, but, yeah, not Claire Danes.
- [71:59]
Maureen Callahan
Sophisticated thinking evident at a very young age. No wonder you're a troublemaker, Sam.
- [72:03]
Tim McKay
Well, thank you very much, Maureen.
- [72:05]
Maureen Callahan
Well, thank you for joining us.
- [72:06]
Tim McKay
Oh, this is so fun.
- [72:08]
Maureen Callahan
We'll do it again.
- [72:09]
Tim McKay
We'll have to find another bad show. It'll be easy in this.
- [72:11]
Maureen Callahan
This.
- [72:11]
Tim McKay
You know, this.
- [72:12]
Maureen Callahan
In this current climate.
- [72:13]
Tim McKay
Yeah.
- [72:13]
Maureen Callahan
Yeah.
- [72:14]
Tim McKay
Thank you. You're the best.
- [72:15]
Maureen Callahan
All right. See you soon. So are you. Bye, Tim. And that's it. That'll do it for your Friday edition of the Nerve. Come back and see us tomorrow for an epic mini. An epic mini that Marlena and I were losing our minds over as we were putting it together. I mean, you're gonna love it. That drops over on YouTube at 10am Eastern. Remember, for the moment, the Minis only live on YouTube. If you haven't already, check out our substack@thenerveshow.com. be sure to subscribe. It's like five bucks a month. It helps the show grow and you get lots of cool stuff that we can't just fit in in any given week. Plus Nerve merch. It's the holidays. We've got a second drop with a lot of fun holiday stuff. Grab something for yourself or pick something up for a fellow troublemaker or someone you'd like to bring over to our side of the street over@shop thenerve.com Also, the nerve is now available on Megan's podcast playlist, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 9am Eastern over on Sirius XM channel 111, the Megan Kelly Channel. We will see you troublemakers tomorrow for the Mini and then again next week right here at the Nerve. At the Nerve, where we're doing our very First Nerve Awards 2025. Oh, my God, you're going to die. Anyway, see you back here at the Nerve, where you will never guess what we're about to say.