The Nerve with Maureen Callahan – Episode Summary

Podcast: The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
Host: Maureen Callahan
Episode: Jason Bateman's Dark Side, Ben Affleck and Steven Spielberg's Feud, and Another Netflix Series Flop
Date: December 12, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode delivers a sharp, no-holds-barred cultural dissection of Hollywood personalities and phenomena—anchored by Maureen Callahan's trademark mix of skepticism and humor. Callahan spotlights the allegedly "dark side" of Jason Bateman following a damning Esquire profile, unearths childhood bullying tales from Bateman's fellow former child actors, details a long-standing feud between Ben Affleck and Steven Spielberg, roasts actor Timothée Chalamet's desperate Oscar-baiting, and—together with celebrity makeup artist Tim McKay—devours Netflix’s much-memed "The Beast in Me." Listeners are treated to biting commentary, cultural archeology, and a lively listener feedback segment.

Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Jason Bateman’s "Dark Side" Exposed

(00:51 – 34:44)

The Esquire Profile and "Psycho" Photoshoot

• Callahan opens with her long-held suspicion that Jason Bateman harbors "rage" beneath his comedic exterior, now vindicated by a new Esquire profile.
• She fixates on Bateman’s self-serious, almost parody-level photo spread:
  • “If you didn’t think that Jason Bateman was just in love with himself… look at these photos.” (02:39)
  • Critiques Bateman's team for letting the photos go public: "Anyone with an iota of loyalty to a guy like Jason Bateman would've been like, we’re axing that." (03:47)

Bateman’s Candid Audio — Arrogance Uncovered

• Clips Bateman abrasively deflecting interview questions:
  • “What’s the first line of your obituary going to say?” Bateman: “I’m not answering that fucking question.” (08:02)
  • Callahan: “He’s a douchebag.” (08:06)
• Asserts, “When these celebrities tell you who they are, believe them.” (08:07)

Childhood Bullying — The Patrick Labarto Story

• Features child actor Patrick Labarto’s story about being bullied by Bateman:
  • “He would call me ‘has been’ and throw garbage at me.” (10:48)
  • Labarto and Todd Bridges’ revenge: “We threw him into a garbage bin... this made me really happy. I’m not proud of it.” (13:31)
  • The big reveal: “The guy… was Jason Bateman.” (14:21)

Bateman’s Reputation: Patterns of Arrogance and Cruelty

• Commentators underline Bateman’s longstanding issues on set (e.g., rumors of being fired from "Silver Spoons" for obnoxiousness).
• Callahan references Bateman’s disastrous “Punk’d” episode:
  • Bateman’s complicity in letting a stranger (and particularly a Black man) get falsely blamed for a faked accident.
    • “He’s smirking… hey, how’s your karma?” (19:12)
    • “Jason’s… willing to let another [person] take the fall.” (21:41)
    • “This is a celebrity who thinks we should just get away with this.” (24:04)

Bateman’s Defense of Other Bullies

• Highlights Bateman defending Jeffrey Tambor’s abuse of Jessica Walter on "Arrested Development":
  • Bateman: "It's a weird thing… a breeding ground for atypical behavior…" (26:40)
  • Jessica Walter: "I have to let go of being angry… in… 60 years, never had anybody yell at me like that on a set." (27:00)
  • Callahan: "She’s trying to keep herself in check… real true distress." (28:00)

Bateman’s Relationships: Sister vs. Aniston

• On sister Justine Bateman:
  • "We respect one another. We don’t see each other a ton…" (28:39)
  • Callahan: “He thinks his sister is full MAGA… Our children really don’t have a relationship.” (29:28)
• On Jennifer Aniston:
  • "She’s almost closer to a co-mom with [my wife] Amanda." (31:35)
  • Callahan: "I wonder how that went down with Amanda… Justine must have been chapped… very strange." (31:50)

Bateman’s "Profound" Views on Sex and Love

• Bateman: "Love is something that you feel and share… sex is something you do… Sometimes with that person." (32:36)
  • Callahan: “He doesn’t know if sex and love are even in the same bin. If I’m his wife, I’m deeply disturbed… I think he’s kind of a psychopath.” (33:20)

Final Thoughts: Bateman’s Flattering of Jennifer Aniston

• In a joint interview, Bateman gushes about Aniston: "You’re gorgeous."
• Callahan’s conclusion: “That’s Jason Bateman for you.” (34:53)

2. Tributes and Listener Feedback

(34:44 – 54:37)

Honoring Sophie Kinsella & Pam Hogg

• Calls attention to the recent deaths of novelist Sophie Kinsella and punk designer Pam Hogg, celebrating their unique cultural contributions.
• "She was a true renegade… I like to think that The Nerve carries more than a little bit of punk spirit." (36:00)

The Woodshed, the Woodchipper, and Now the Stump Grinder

• Listener Mike from Wisconsin proposes a new level of cultural punishment: "After a tree is taken down and gone on to the wood chipper, a stump remains… I propose getting out the stump grinder." (50:22)
• Callahan approves: "We absolutely need another step in this process of ridding the culture of our vulgarians." (51:01)

More Listener Feedback Highlights

• A psychologist listener diagnoses "Jack Schlossberg… definitely on SSRIs. The emotional range of a cardboard cutout. The Kennedy gene pool has clearly been drained to the dregs." (48:31)
• Listeners on Jennifer Aniston’s boyfriend: "Scam artists often use vulnerability as a tool to build trust." (49:50)
• Rumblings about Michelle Obama’s tour: "Keep Australia misery free." (50:13)

3. Timothée Chalamet's Oscar Desperation

(41:16 – 42:17)

• Callahan plays a clip from a press tour where Chalamet lauds his own performance:
  • Chalamet: “This is probably my best performance… it’s really some top-level shit.” (41:49)
  • Callahan: “Talk to any of us out here in these mean streets—you… bring discipline and work ethic. The world doesn't owe you jack fucking shit.” (42:17)

4. Hollywood Feud: Ben Affleck vs. Steven Spielberg

(44:47 – 46:29)

The Origin Story (per Mike Binder)

• Spielberg refuses to cast Ben Affleck in a film after a poolside incident involving his son:
  • “My son… pushed Ben into the pool… Ben got mad and… threw him back. Made my son cry. I just don't like to work with him." (45:36)
  • Callahan questions the story: "I really do think it matters how old the kid was… This is on face value one way, but… I think it might be more complicated than that." (46:29)
• Poll launched for listeners: “Go over and weigh in… we can discuss next week.” (47:10)

5. Hate Watch: Netflix’s The Beast in Me

(54:37 – 71:36)
Guests: Tim McKay (Celebrity Makeup Artist)

The Premise & Execution

• A psychological thriller inspired by Robert Durst, starring Claire Danes and Matthew Rhys.
• Callahan: “There’s something telling. When I got to the final episode, I paused it 13 minutes before it even ended.” (57:31)
• McKay: “The whole twist… is that there literally is no twist. Everything you think about the bad guy… is exactly true.” (57:59)
• Callahan: “Prestige TV has really kind of died… It takes a lot more than that for… propulsive viewing.” (59:00)

Hair and Makeup Observations

• Discusses in detail the show’s odd makeup/wig choices, especially for the murder victim:
  • McKay: "They gave her a dark lip to symbolize how dark she feels inside… It's too distracting. At first I was like, who the hell is that?" (63:00)
  • Callahan: “It was detracting from her beauty rather than augmenting it… She looks cheap. That look would never fly [for a billionaire’s wife].” (63:45)
• Subtle social cues in makeup and style for New York’s wealthy: "A wealthy woman will… have a very short nail, extremely well manicured… nothing vulgar." (63:25)

Claire Danes and the "Cry Face" Meme

• Callahan: “Claire Danes is always at 11… an exposed nerve… She is so uncomfortable in her own skin.” (64:18)
  • Refers to viral memes mocking Danes’ overwrought emotional acting.
  • McKay: "Almost like they worked her to the bone… That's the one [take] they’re going to choose every single time after take 107, when she’s broken down.” (69:28)
• Discussion on the difference between "leading lady" looks/roles and Claire Danes’ persona:
  • “She’s not a leading lady… Her performances are filled with rage.” (69:57)
  • Reflection on Danes’ casting in "Romeo + Juliet" and comparisons to Natalie Portman, Kate Winslet, Gwyneth Paltrow. (70:32)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bateman: "I'm not saying Jason Bateman is a psychopath in real life. I'm not. But I am saying I think he’s a pretty dark guy… would I want to know him? No. No, I would not." (05:03)
• On Bateman Bullying: “Whenever he would see me at school, he would call me ‘has been’ and throw garbage at me. Now, I don’t know where he got the garbage, but he always had garbage.” —Patrick Labarto (10:48)
• On Chalamet: “Listen, you little prick, you little fuckwit, the world doesn’t owe you jack fucking shit.” (42:17)
• On Affleck/Spielberg: “…when you dig a little deeper, the cultural archeologists that we are, I think it might be more complicated than that.” (46:39)
• On The Beast in Me: “Just because you have glamorous, beautiful women in every scene doesn’t mean that it’s a watchable show… this show…it was so stale and dreary…very cold feeling.” —Tim McKay (59:51)
• On Claire Danes: “Claire Danes is always at 11…her internal amp is always at 11 and she needs to bring it down. We need some proper modulation, ok?” (64:18)
• On Cultural Punishment: “After a tree is taken down and gone on to the wood chipper, a stump remains… I propose getting out the stump grinder.” —Listener Mike (50:22)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bateman’s Photo Shoot/Esquire Profile – 02:39
• Bateman Responds to Obituary Question – 08:02
• Patrick Labarto Bullying Story – 10:39, 12:54, 14:21
• Punk’d Segment – Bateman Lies to Cop – 19:05, 21:33
• Bateman on Jessica Walter/Jeffrey Tambor Abuse – 26:40
• On Sister Justine vs. Jennifer Aniston – 28:39, 31:35
• Bateman’s Love/Sex Views – 32:36
• Chalamet’s Self-Congratulation – 41:49
• Affleck/Spielberg Feud – Pool Incident – 44:47
• Listener Feedback (Stump Grinder) – 50:22
• The Beast in Me Hate-Watch – 54:37
• Hair/Makeup Dissection – 61:29
• Claire Danes Cry Face Discussion – 64:18
• Cultural Archeology on Danes’ Casting – 70:30

Tone & Style

The episode is fast, irreverent, and biting—driven by Callahan’s relentless skepticism, dry humor, and willingness to puncture celebrity pretense. The chemistry with regular guest Tim McKay adds warmth, making the takedowns more playful than mean-spirited. Listener feedback is woven in with appreciation and camaraderie, building a sense of insider community ("troublemakers").

Conclusion

This episode skewers Hollywood self-regard, exposes some ugly underbellies to the cultural sunlight, and finds the fun in even the dreariest of Netflix misfires—all while challenging listeners to think twice about the way entertainment shapes our perceptions of the people behind the fame. If you want to see through the shine of celebrity, there’s not much sharper, smarter, or funnier than Maureen Callahan at The Nerve.