J.Lo's Pity Party On Howard Stern and Meghan Markle's Ludicrous Interview at Fortune Summit

Summary

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The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Episode: J.Lo's Pity Party On Howard Stern and Meghan Markle's Ludicrous Interview at Fortune Summit

Date: October 22, 2025
Host: Maureen Callahan
Theme: A scorching, sharply skeptical breakdown of top celebrity culture moments of the week—zooming in on Jennifer Lopez’s Howard Stern interview, the optics and contradictions of her relationships, and Meghan Markle’s self-mythologizing at the Fortune Summit. Includes biting listener feedback and forensic-level pop culture analysis.

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Episode Overview

This episode of "The Nerve at Night" sees Maureen Callahan at her acerbic, detail-oriented best, putting pop culture power players under the microscope. With her trademark mixture of humor and prosecutorial rigor, Callahan takes listeners through Jennifer Lopez’s “malignant narcissism” as displayed on Howard Stern and in her own self-funded Amazon doc, while also eviscerating Meghan Markle’s selective memory and evasive language in a recent Fortune Summit interview. The episode is rich with memorable commentary, pop culture receipts, and input from Callahan’s so-called “troublemaker” listeners.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. The J.Lo–Howard Stern Interview: A Display of Narcissism

[04:32 – 07:34]

• Callahan critiques Howard Stern’s soft-ball interviewing style:
  • “He gets a star in front of him, and he's like, little lap dog, you know?” (05:52)
• J.Lo’s ‘Never Truly Loved’ Claim:
  • Callahan lampoons Lopez’s on-air claim that none of the men she’s married or engaged to ever really loved her.
  • Highlights Lopez’s ability to spin herself as the incomparably lovable victim with impossible standards for those around her.
  • Quote from Lopez (as recounted by Callahan):
    • “It’s not that I’m not lovable–it’s that they’re not capable.” (07:03)
• Dissection of J.Lo’s shifting stories and revisiting her over-the-top documentary about Ben Affleck:
  • Callahan ridicules Lopez for making personal letters from their relationship a centerpiece of her documentary, “The Greatest Love Story Never Told.”
  • Notable Ben Affleck moment: “Ben is in the doc looking thoroughly depressed and defeated... and he's like, yeah, then you're telling it now.” (13:07)

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2. Revisiting J.Lo’s Romantic History: Exes Speak Out

[14:29 – 26:00]

• Cheating Allegations and Exes Push Back:
  • Ohani Noah (J.Lo’s first ex-husband) tells the Daily Mail:
    “Stop putting us down with your victim card. The problem is you.” (17:53)
• Chris Judd, the Forgotten Husband:
  • Judd describes his uncomfortable role as a backup dancer-turned-husband, then discusses why he never sold out her secrets after the divorce.
  • Chris Judd on first impressions of J.Lo:
    • “I’m like, oh my God, I’m gonna marry this woman. That’s what I said to myself.” (19:05)
• Callahan ties everything back to J.Lo’s routine self-narratives:
  • Points out the contradiction in J.Lo’s claim that no one ever truly loved her when, in fact, these men demonstrate devotion, if hapless, time and again.

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3. Dissecting J.Lo & Ben Affleck: The Amazon Documentary

[10:55 – 13:09, 25:19 – 26:00]

• Revelation: Lopez shares a deeply personal book of love letters and emails from Affleck with random studio collaborators, with Ben’s visible discomfort highlighted in the documentary.
• Scene Analysis: Callahan points out the awkward juxtaposition of Lopez’s elation at memorializing their “greatest love” and Affleck’s visible misery.
• Culminating Meltdown: Lopez’s tearful doc scene, feeling abandoned as Ben attends a premiere alone in another city:
  • Jennifer Lopez, tearful: “My husband's away at his... and I'm really sad... I wasn't there with him this weekend.” (25:19)
  • Callahan’s blunt assessment: “You, my friend, are a mess.” (26:00)

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4. Listener Emails: Real-World Pop Culture Confessions

[26:04 – 43:13]

• Listener Drops Bombshells:
  • Firsthand stories about Jennifer Aniston’s mean-girl behavior during “Friends,” including a story about her joking about abortions in front of Brad Pitt’s conservative mother.
  • Debates about the real cost and effects of Hollywood’s beauty maintenance (Botox vs. surgery), referencing Jane Fonda’s honesty.
• Pop Culture Fatigue:
  • Audiences (rightly, in Callahan’s view) are “wearied by the staged authenticity of it all.”
  • Notable quote from a listener (summarized by Callahan):
    • “This is exactly what aging celebrities are pedaling to us today. Fake experiences, real products for sale.”

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5. Meghan Markle’s Fortune Summit Interview: A Masterclass in Evasion

[43:13 – 56:00]

• Markle as Repeat Offender:
  • Callahan positions herself as the “prosecutor” putting Markle on the stand for her rhetorical sleight-of-hand.
• Markle’s Narrative on the Record:
  • Claims she and Harry were “just nesting, healing” post-Megxit, and not plotting fame-and-fortune.
  • Meghan Markle at Fortune Summit: “I don’t know that I had the bandwidth… There was no plan. It was just, let's get through these next couple years, create community…” (48:10)
• Maureen’s Fact-Check:
  • Systematically lists their known deals (Apple TV+ w/ Oprah, Netflix, Spotify, multi-million-dollar book contracts) that were negotiated pre-Megxit, shattering Markle’s “no plans” claim.
• Mockery of Meghan’s Media Moves:
  • Highlights Markle’s “I just want to be a person” comment—right down to her ostentatiously monogrammed “DSS” (Duchess of Sussex) luggage while seeking “privacy.”
  • Callahan: “You want some relevance, come over to our side of the street. Okay, if we’ll have you at this point.” (54:25)
• Memorable Clip:
  • Plays the iconic “Worldwide Privacy Tour” bit from South Park, hammering home the performative contradiction of Markle’s brand.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Maureen on Howard Stern:
  • “He gets a star in front of him, and he's like, little lap dog, you know?” (05:52)
• J.Lo (via Callahan):
  • “It’s not that I’m not lovable, it’s that they’re not capable.” (07:03)
• Ben Affleck’s Reaction (as paraphrased):
  • “Yeah, then you’re telling it now.” (13:07)
• Ohani Noah (J.Lo’s ex):
  • “Stop putting us down with your victim card. The problem is you.” (17:53)
• Listener on Aniston:
  • “It’s a portrait of Dorian Gray kind of situation between reality and persona.” (Approx 28:48)
• Maureen on Meghan Markle:
  • “She’s a fucking liar.” (49:37)
  • “We all know those claims fell apart like a cheap pinata.” (52:32)
• South Park’s Take:
  • “We deserve our privacy. Fuck these people. Speaking for America. Fuck these people.” (55:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• J.Lo’s Stern Interview Analysis: 04:32 – 07:34
• Jennifer Lopez’s Relationship Narratives Dissected: 07:34 – 14:29
• Exes (Ohani Noah, Chris Judd) Speak Out: 14:29 – 21:00
• Amazon Documentary Critique: 10:55, 12:26, 25:19
• Listener Email Highlights: 26:04 – 43:13
• Meghan Markle Fortune Summit Interview Deconstructed: 43:13 – 56:00
• South Park “Worldwide Privacy Tour” Reference: ~55:00

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Tone & Style

• Bold, opinionated, and conspiratorial—Maureen Callahan takes the listener into her confidence as though building a case file.
• Persuasive, with an undercurrent of humor and entertainment-industry world-weariness.
• “Troublemakers” (the show’s fans) are acknowledged as co-investigators and as sources of valuable gossip and insight.
• Pulls no punches—especially when celebrities spin narratives that are easily fact-checked.

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t caught this episode, you’ll still come away with a sharp-eyed understanding of the latest implosions and image manipulations by two of pop culture’s most polarizing women: Jennifer Lopez and Meghan Markle. The episode is rich with receipts, contradictory timeline fact-checking, and the wit to cut through celebrity PR haze.

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Memorable Moment

• Callahan’s unraveling of Meghan Markle’s “just nesting” spiel versus her calculated multimillion-dollar contracts—an expert lesson in how timelines and public records can undercut celebrity spin (47:20–52:08).
• South Park’s immortal “Worldwide Privacy Tour” clip—compacting the episode’s thesis into one perfectly savage moment (55:00).

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Conclusion

This episode is a high-octane, forensic roast of pop culture’s favorite self-mythologizers. Through sharp clips, pointed receipts, and gleefully irreverent monologue, Maureen Callahan reminds us why “The Nerve at Night” is essential listening for anyone tired of celebrity self-delusion.

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Transcript

[Maureen Callahan]

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And like, I'd like to think of the Nerve at night as like the cool side of the pillow and perhaps the ice cold side of the pillow because we're going in on one. Jennifer Lopez, who is not, has not been daunted at all by her movie the Kiss of the Spider Woman flopping hard at the box office and by the rest of America being like, lady, we're no longer interested. She's still making the rounds. It's amazing. She's still, you know what? Because this is what these people love. They love nothing more than talking about themselves. It's, it doesn't matter if they're contradicting what they just said 5 minutes ago or it's not making any sense or they're hurting people they were once, you know, married to or procreated with. As long as we're talking and as long as we got cameras on us and we're making headlines and we're showing up in people and we're getting that dopamine hit, it's all Good. So we're going to go in on JLo, who by the way, held court with another one of our, our foremost falling stars, and that is one Howard Stern. And then we're going to get into your feedback and we have such good stuff. I have like, I have such. I've been dying to get to this email, this Jennifer Aniston email. And then I'm go. I'm not going to say who this is, but you know, I love to think of myself as your criminal cultural prosecutor and think of this offender a repeat on the witness stand. And I'm the prosecutor and I've got the timeline and screenshots and receipts and everything else Heather Gay once said on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Ready for it, let's go. We all want the best food for ourselves, our families, our kids. But still, still we all wonder, no matter the labeling, is this safe. Seed oils, additives banned in Europe, and even endocrine disrupting chemicals like microplastics and heavy metals contaminate our foods. But introducing Olive. 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Okay, so Jennifer Lopez went and did like an hour long interview on Howard Stern. And you know this, this really goes to show you that these legacy media people who think that the reason that like podcast, like really popular podcasts work is because they just have, you know, an hour plus or two hours or three hours and they can go and have a deep conversation that that's the secret sauce. You got to have a subject and you've got to have an interviewer who are, who are both willing to like get real and play ball and you know, like, and when you've got a guest who's like, maybe not seeming to be. Okay, I will generously say dialed into oneself. I would more realistically say talking a bunch of shit that gets herself off the hook. And you don't push back. You know, that's when you lose people. That's. And that's. That's why Howard Stern is, like, completely irrelevant. He used to be, you know, confrontational when necessary and, like, capable of having a really compelling conversation. Not so much anymore. He gets a star in front of him, and he's like, little lap dog, you know? So anyway, Jayla went on Howard, and, you know, she's been married like, four or five times. No, three, maybe. I don't know. I can't keep track. But many times. And engaged many times. And she has had children with one of her former husbands, Marc Anthony. They have twins. And there's nothing better than hearing someone. You know what? I'm not gonna spoil it. Let's listen and we'll talk about it on the back end. Here we go.

Do you think you've truly been loved?

[Jennifer Lopez]

No.

[Meghan Markle]

No.

[Maureen Callahan]

And do you think you really have experienced loving someone?

[Jennifer Lopez]

Yes.

[Maureen Callahan]

You have?

[Jennifer Lopez]

Yeah.

[Maureen Callahan]

And when you can't get that love.

[Jennifer Lopez]

Back, what I learned, it's not that I'm not lovable, is that they're not capable.

[Maureen Callahan]

They can't love.

[Jennifer Lopez]

They don't have it in them. They need to appreciate the little person inside of them.

[Maureen Callahan]

They have little to give.

[Jennifer Lopez]

Yeah.

[Maureen Callahan]

You've been in relationship.

[Jennifer Lopez]

And they gave me what they had.

[Advertisement Voice]

Right.

[Jennifer Lopez]

But they gave me all of it, every time.

[Maureen Callahan]

But it's this much.

[Jennifer Lopez]

All the rings, all the things I could ever want.

[Maureen Callahan]

Right.

[Jennifer Lopez]

Trying to give me the houses, the rings, the marriage, all of it.

[Maureen Callahan]

But they didn't love you. They didn't and didn't know you.

[Jennifer Lopez]

And I didn't love myself.

[Maureen Callahan]

I. Okay, there's so much to unpack there, but I'm just going to try to keep this brief because she's beyond help. Okay. Jennifer Lopez, in my opinion, is a malignant narcissist. So I love it that every single man she's ever been engaged to or married to actually never really loved her. And the problem is they were so limited that even though they may have. And she's talking about Ben here. Okay. She's talking about one Ben Affleck. The rings, the mansions. Do you remember, by the way, when Ben Affleck reportedly allegedly. This was memorialized, I believe, in an SNL animated short by. Oh, my God. Who's the guy who used to do, like, the Ambiguously Gay Duo? He's a genius. And then he was behind Conan's triumph, the insult comic dog, Robert Smigel. I think it was Robert Smigel. Ben affleck reportedly gave JLo like a $24,000 toilet seat. So she's never been loved because they didn't have it in them. And, and you know what that also says is she's so monumentally great that you have to be like the Olympic gold medal of love in order to love Jennifer Lopez. So anyway, those losers are in her rear view. Okay, Even though last week, and we're going to revisit this clip, JLO was at the premiere of her bomb Kiss of the Spider Woman. And who showed up but the producer and her two time ex, most recent ex husband, Ben Affleck. Let's take a look at her. They loved it. Oh, my God, you're here. I'll take the picture right now. Oh, my God. She lights up like a Christmas tree. Oh, my God, you're here. You're here. I'll be right there. Now if I'm. If Ben Affleck was that incapable of loving her and JLo had come to this most consequential realization and had been able to fully put Ben Affleck in her rear view, that would not have been the reaction. In fact, she would have told her people, if he shows up, keep him far away from me. Still would have made headlines. And that's the point. Now this is a great excuse, a great excuse. And by the way, because I know there are troublemakers out there who have not seen this and that's because you have a strong self preservation instinct, I happened to watch this at random and found myself unable to look away. The documentary that jlo paid for 20 million, I believe out of her own pocket, which was a monument to her and Ben Affleck's rent romance. The doc, the Amazon doc called the Greatest Love Story Never Told. Okay, we're going to watch three parts from it. The first, Jennifer is giddily recording herself writing with like 36 other writers because it's such a personal record and Jen is such an artist. Her album, this Is Me now, which is all about her reignited love affair slash marriage to Ben Affleck. Here we go.

[Jennifer Lopez]

On that first day, I showed everybody this book. This book is a book that Ben gave me on our first Christmas back together. It is every letter and every email that we wrote to each other from 20 years ago and today, the Greatest Love Story Never Told by Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, 2001 and 2021 and counting it became like our bible. And we just left it there in the studio. And people would thumb through it. They're like, can we look at it? I was like, look at it.

[Maureen Callahan]

So an extremely personal gift that contains extremely personal emails and letters and photos between the two of them. A Christmas gift, a boxed Christmas gift with a handwritten. She leaves out for these strangers to paw through so they can write her latest magnum opus, another album that bombed. Hope it was worth it, Jen. Anyway, let's watch Ben, in this documentary react to the moment he's going to relay, rather the moment he learned that these. They look grubby. They look. They all look grubby. They look unwashed. They look messy. These are strangers to him in his house, people he doesn't know pawing through his most intimate thoughts and feelings and the trust he placed in Jennifer to keep those things private. Here we go.

I came to the house one day and there was. She had told me the musicians are coming. This great producer jamming in the studio down there. And my book that I had given her was down there. She was like, I've been reading. And the people's. This is the kind of inspiration. Inspiration. I've been showing them the book you've been showing all the musicians, all those letters that. And they were like, yeah, we call you Pen Affleck. And I said, oh, my God. I did really find the beauty and the poetry and the irony in the fact that it's the greatest love story never told. And if you're making a record about.

[Advertisement Voice]

It.

[Maureen Callahan]

That seems kind of like telling.

It, the editors did a great job there because as he says, this is the. If this is the greatest love story never told. And then you're making a record about it. And they cut to her in the studio with these paid friends and collaborators, and Jen's like. And, like, reveling in her being like, you know, the girl who finally got picked up at age 58 or whatever old she is. And then they cut back to Ben Affleck looking thoroughly depressed and defeated. And he's like, yeah, then you're telling it now. We saw how that worked out. Now, Jennifer. Sorry, Jennifer Lopez. I'm screwing up my Jennifers. She went on Watch what Happens Live with Andy Cohen last week, and Andy asked her about any commentary she might offer about her ex, another ex fiance. I forgot about. There's so many a Rod. Alex Rodriguez, who, by the way, is the subject of a new HBO documentary. I think it's hbo and we're going to keep our eye on it cheating on her with a Bravo Liberty from Southern Charm named Madison lacroix. Now, let's watch JLO field this question. And then I've got another little tidbit on the back end of this.

The Bravo verse will kill me if I do not ask this next question.

Yes. What's that? Okay.

It came up at a Southern Charm reunion a few years ago. Southern Charm is a show about a group of FOPs in Charleston, South Carolina.

Jen pretends to have no idea Rod.

Was DMing one of the cast members.

[Advertisement Voice]

Okay.

[Maureen Callahan]

And that.

[Meghan Markle]

No idea.

[Maureen Callahan]

There was a lot of speculation in the press or. Or on the show that Andy's punting it to others. Is there anything you can speak to about that?

[Jennifer Lopez]

You know, I really have nothing to say about my personal life anymore.

[Maureen Callahan]

Oh, okay, sure. We'll see how long that lasts, because we've all heard that before, sister. Now, that reunion Southern Charm has long been one of my favorite reality shows on Bravo. Can they keep it going? I don't know. Last season was kind of weak, and we all know a lot of the storylines were manufactured. However. However, this reunion, which I want to say was three seasons ago, maybe two. Craig Conover. So the cast member that Andy's alluding to is Madison lacroix, who has surgically reinvented herself, but she's kind of got that kind of masculine body type, like, jawline that, like, Alex Rodriguez likes. Like, he likes a masculine woman. Know what I'm saying? So Craig Conover rolled up to that reunion. Craig is the pillow magnet now of a magnate of Charleston, South Carolina. He was wasted. He was out of his mind. He was clearly my opinion on booze and drugs. Something else. I mean, he was slouching in his chair, his eyes were glassy, his speech was slurry, and he had that kind of disinhibition that only substances give, where you're like, fuck it. I'm just gonna say the truth. And he goes to Ma Madison, he says, hey, we all know that you've been DMing and you've been having an affair with an ex MLB player who is engaged or married to a mega A list star. And everybody out in the audience knew it was a rod cheating on JLo, and Madison denied it, and JLo, you know, whatever. But, you know, two weeks later, basically, JLo and a rod broke up. Okay? And that was one. Craig Conover's contribution to the culture. He never gets the credit for that breakup, and he never gets the credit for Benefit Part two. If not for Craig Conover being wasted out of his head on that reunion, we wouldn't have this storyline. Okay, so, Craig, we see you over at the Nerve, and we salute you for your work. Now we are going to another ex husband. This is JLo's first ex husband, Ohani Noah. This was while she was on the way up. She was not the megastar that she is now. Now, on the heels of JLO saying that no man she had ever been with or engaged to or married to ever really loved her, he told Ohani, Noah told the Daily Mail that, quote, the problem is you, and that she was the cheater. She was the cheater. So, so much for not being loved enough by the men in her life. And he said in his post quote, stop putting us down. I guess all these men, are they unionizing? Are Jennifer Lopez's exes unionizing? I think Ben would be a natural leader. Uh, Hoani then went on in his post, stop putting me down with your victim card. Good point. Everybody's a victim. The problem is not us. It's not me. Okay? The problem is you. You're the one who couldn't keep it in your pants. I love it. I love it. Okay, husband number two. Do you remember this guy? Chris Judd? Chris Judd. He was a backup dancer. She married him September 29, 2001, and by July 2022, they were divorced. That union lasted nine months. Here's Chris on an episode of Where Are They Now? On the now defunct. I think Owen is defunct. Oprah's network. I'm guessing he maybe needed the money, but he's talking about his first impressions of Jennifer Lopez as a lowly backup dancer. Here we go.

[Chris Judd]

So when Jennifer walks in, I shake her hand, and we kind of look at each other. I'm like, oh. In my head, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm gonna marry this woman. That's what I said to myself. I'm like, holy crap.

[Maureen Callahan]

Now, Chris, when He was with JLo, always seemed a bit like her handbag. Like, you know, she can never be without a man, so she's always got some guy in tow, some hapless dude. And Chris just seemed like a nice guy who was in over his head. He never gave interviews. He never sold any of her information. He didn't seem to enjoy the attention. He seemed to really just love her. Now they got divorced, and I will. Will hit why on the back end. But Chris here, in the same interview, is talking about having a fallout with his father, who, against his wishes, defended him in the press during this divorce. Here we go.

[Chris Judd]

During the time when we were separated and we were going through divorce, I was getting a lot of calls to interview and naturally, everyone wants to know the dirt about your marriage and, or whatever, what went wrong. And I never wanted to do that because that's no one's business. And I guess a lot of stories, you look happy in that photo were on her side. So my dad felt compelled to defend me and give his side of the story, so to speak. I asked my father, please don't do that. I don't need you to do that. I don't need you to defend me.

[Maureen Callahan]

I love you.

[Chris Judd]

And it was like one of those moments. He's like, well, I'm going to do it anyway. And, well, it's like, well, okay, well, then I don't have anything to say to you.

[Maureen Callahan]

They didn't speak for a year, as the Chiron after that clip tells us. Now, here's what's what. JLO during that time, that separation and divorce due to irreconcilable differences. If I recall my timeline correctly, my deep reading of Us Weekly, etc. Comes back to me. JLO had been making the turkey known as Gili with one Ben Affleck. That was where they met. And they always denied that anything went on. Even though everybody said, something is going on, they are not even bothering to hide it. And there was an opening of a restaurant. I believe it was jlo's restaurant back then in la. And she was still with Chris Judd. And Ben sent like eight dozen red roses. And that was in front of Chris Judd. And it was basically an announcement that, hey, I'm effing your wife and I'm going to take her from you. So that's how that went. Now, JLo, again, none of these men loved her. They love. None of them loved her. No, sir. She sat down with. Now, this is before she was an astronaut, Gayle King. She was a mere cub. She was a mere apprentice to the. The great works of her platonic friend, Oprah. JLO has moved on at this point to another backup dancer named Casper Smart. He lasted a lot longer than Chris Judd. And here she is telling Gail about her mother's skepticism about this guy. Here we go. What did she say when you said, mom, I really like him?

[Jennifer Lopez]

When she found out we were seeing each other, she was like.

[Maureen Callahan]

What are you doing?

[Jennifer Lopez]

And I was like, I just. And I told her, I don't know what I'm doing. Just ride with me real quick for just a minute, okay?

[Maureen Callahan]

And then just ride with me and Then afterwards. Yeah, it's like a train seal clapping. She saw you together and everything.

[Jennifer Lopez]

She was like, are you happy? And I was like, I am happy. I'm just happy.

[Maureen Callahan]

Your mother knew. She wasn't.

[Jennifer Lopez]

I don't know where it's going.

[Maureen Callahan]

I don't know.

[Jennifer Lopez]

You know, like, don't ask me any other questions. And she was like, okay, okay.

[Maureen Callahan]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Jennifer Lopez]

You know, she's my mom.

[Maureen Callahan]

She wants you to be happy. She doesn't want you hurt.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Maureen Callahan]

Oh, what a great, incisive observation, Gail. How about this question, which was. You know, there was a ton of reporting in the tabloids at the time. I'm not saying that this was actually happening, but this was the reporting I was reading, and it seemed legit. Casper seemed, if not gay, gay adjacent. Casper, I believe, had been spotted shopping for specific items in sex shops. Casper seemed to be, I would say, having a passive. I would say having a passing acquaintanceship with those things known as glory holes. Just allegedly, reportedly. And I believe that JLO was the last one to want to know. Okay, now we're going to. It's not our own love addiction here that's a problem. It's not our own inability to be alone. It's not our own ability to listen to our business managers or mommies who know what's up. But we're going to come right back to. We're going to end this little narrative of JLo never being loved. This is. This is so telling. This is the final clip from JLo's Amazon documentary about how she and Ben are the greatest love story ever. Suck it, Anthony and Cleopatra. Suck it. Romeo and Juliet suck at Harry and Meghan. No, it was JLo and Ben. Okay? Now she is at home in LA in their $65 million mansion, which they're still trying to unload. Ben is out of town at a premiere without Jennifer, and we don't know that there is a real legitimate reason keeping Jennifer from being there with Ben. Remember, these people can fly. Private drop of a hat, you got a premiere. I move stuff around. I'm there for a few hours. I stay for the night if I want, then I leave. JLo's not there, and she's having a meltdown. And trust me when I tell you, I mean, we're seeing real tears, we're seeing real distress. And I don't think it's for the reason she's given us right here, because she's not that great of an actress. Let's go.

[Jennifer Lopez]

My husband's away at his.

[Maureen Callahan]

She can't even say it.

[Jennifer Lopez]

And I'm really sad.

[Maureen Callahan]

He left her home, said don't come.

[Jennifer Lopez]

I wasn't there with him this weekend.

[Maureen Callahan]

I wasn't invited.

[Jennifer Lopez]

My opinion, he got great reviews, he's working on this movie and this.

[Maureen Callahan]

And she would be happy. It's a success for him, this company.

[Jennifer Lopez]

For a year and a half. And I just feel bad.

[Maureen Callahan]

He just wonder like, is it worth it? I don't know. She's barely comprehensible. She is really crying now. She's scrolling through images of him on her phone and reports.

[Jennifer Lopez]

I think I'm just tired of him.

[Maureen Callahan]

At the premiere, looking great, having a great time. And by the way, this is another one without the magic of professional hair and makeup and whatever surgical or tweakment interventions or treatments she's having. She's plain, she needs a lot. It's a heavy lift. She was crying because she knows. We all know Ben Affleck. We've been living with Ben affleck for like 30 something years, right? Will 2027 mark our 30 year anniversary with Ben Affleck entering our lives in the mainstream with Good Will Hunting? She knows that Ben is at high, high probability of hitting the casino, of maybe boozing, of maybe partaking in other substances, of maybe going on Raya or finding a 20 something influencer or just a girl who crosses his path. That's the reason for the tears. Okay, so let's dispense with this bullshit narrative that none of these men could ever approach loving the greatness that is you. Because you, my friend, are a mess. You're a mess. Get out of our faces with next. Next, your emails, your intel and yet another repeat offender in the witness box. We are back in a minute. Today's show is brought to you by Oxford Natural, home of the all natural, Optimum Day and Optimum Night supplements. Are you trying to lose we after having a baby, prepping for your wedding or just ready to feel like yourself again? Thousands of men and women across the US and the UK are already doing it with Oxford Natural. Optimum Day powers you with steady energy. It crushes cravings and it keeps your metabolism firing all day. Optimum Night helps you relax, sleep deeply, recover and keep burning fat while you rest. England soccer legend Michael Owen lost 40 pounds and Robbie, the face of AFTV dropped over 100 pounds. It has worked for others too, with customer testimonials attesting to Oxford Naturals effectiveness. So now it is your turn. Scan the QR code or click the Link and grab 70% off your first order with code Nerve. No gimmicks, no needles, just results. Oxford Natural let's get to work. With Plan B Emergency contraception, we're in control of our future. It's backup birth control you take after unprotected sex that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. It works by temporarily delaying ovulation and it won't impact your future fertility. Plan B is available in all 50 US states at all major retailers near you, with no ID, prescription or age requirement needed. Together we got this. Follow Plan B on insta at Plan B. One step to learn more. Use as directed. We are back with the third Nerve at night. So exciting. Now we got a ton of reaction to it and surprisingly, you know, it was like the Jennifer Aniston what's in my Bag segment that Tim the celebrity makeup artist and I took apart. And we were making fun of her. Me more than Tim for, you know, every everything she pulled out of the bag was like another like sponsorship she's involved in, you know, like half expecting her to pull out, like, I don't know, hair extensions or whatever. So this email, I love this email. The headline this now this troublemaker needs to be anonymous. It's the real Perens. Not so nice. Jennifer Aniston hi Maureen and team. I greatly enjoyed your last episode regarding Jennifer Aniston's complete inability to be authentic and I think I know why she can't be at the height of her friend's career. Now this this troublemaker has a has a relative and sent me an off the record, very detailed timeline with names and dates and it all tracks. That's why I'm reading it. Again. This is just this troublemaker's report. I can't vouch for it. This troublemaker says they have a close relative who worked for Jen. I begin, I quote, at the height of her friend's career, Jennifer Aniston was less than nice to many people. Again, quite Queens of nice beware. In fact, she enjoyed being an instigator, like at her own wedding to one Brad Pitt, wherein she repeatedly joked again, justice troublemakers report about the number of previous abortions she'd had in front of Pitt's conservative Oklahoman mother, laughing about it while his mother was nearly driven to tears. That's right. Pitt's mother, who I believe died recently, was conservative and he's from the Midwest. Jennifer also enjoyed pushing the buttons of the genuinely kind Courtney Cox. I've heard this firsthand that Courtney is a lovely person and those of her then husband, David Arquette who regularly came on set to watch and support his wife. This seemed to especially irk Aniston because the Cox Arquette marriage was seen as genuine and everyone there regularly said so. At the same time, Pitt wasn't welcomed as a supportive spouse on set aside from his Thanksgiving guest spot on the show because Pitt would have eclipsed too many other egos, namely Aniston's. That is dark stuff. I think this is why authenticity isn't an option with Jen. It's a portrait of Dorian Gray kind of situation between reality and Persona. So smart water ads it is. Thanks for all you do, our troublemaker in chief. Thanks for you sending that incredible piece of intel. Hey Maureen, this is regarding Jen Aniston again. Several commenters on YouTube mentioned Jen's slurring speech and non mobile mouth that is from her endless surgeries. You guys loved our mini with Dr. Yoon who said he believes it's from injectables and the same with Courtney Cox's and I disagree. I've had conversations with people in the field who say that is a surgical intervention, a lower facelift that is irreversible and I believe the latter. I'm not Again, I'm not a professional. I I respectfully disagree with Dr. Yoon because it's so it causes such a speech impediment for these actresses that if they could reverse it, they would have Returning to our troublemaker from Brookhaven, New York, Jennifer Aniston is so pulled, she's paralyzed. No Botox in her bag. She's so full of it. Does she really think we believe her BS about sleep and smart water? No hi Em, your H here troublemaker H here's what's in my bag. I know you're dying to know, but forgot to ask. A big fluffy pillow for a good night's sleep. A bottle of air for me to breathe. A psychiatrist for my mental well being. I a lighter and some accelerant. Yes, Ryan, just for you. And the biggest bottle of water ever. Because who doesn't want to carry around an extra 45 pounds? Dear Maureen, greetings from Botswana, Africa. Hello. As we were collectively repulsed by Jennifer Aniston performatively rifling through that bag stuffed with her products for sale, I think that we couldn't get past the absolute nonsense that this was her bag full of things she always carries we and this troublemaker means the collective we troublemakers are wearied by the, quote, staged authenticity of it all. The anthropologists. I love this reference and I've never heard of this person, the anthropologist Dean McKennell McCannell rather coined the phrase when studying how tourists desperate for an authentic experience experience of another culture would offer money to find out how, quote, the other really lived. I think this is known as poverty tourism. Understandably, people were more than happy to oblige and began offering fake experiences of authentic life for a fee. This is exactly what aging celebrities are pedaling to us today. Fake experiences, real products for sale. Agreed. Whoa, that blew right back on me. Is that a metaphor? Okay, from this is about today's mini nerve again, plastic surgery. A future episode would be to include a menu cost of monthly slash yearly maintenance for non invasive procedures. This is a great idea. We're going to do an episode about stuff like this in the near future. But you have to note so it's going to vary like where you are, the doctor you're you're going to, etc. But this troublemaker Susan says, I would love to do a Fraxel laser myself, but a package of treatments costs $2,500, which I don't have. I can't even afford Botox. Jane Fonda has been the only honest celebrity about this. She once responded in an interview about how great she looks with quote, it takes a lot of money. Right on, Jane. I mean, you got to give her credit. She is telling the truth about that. Hi Maureen, another Brit here found you through my dislike of the Markles and stayed for everything else. It's the gateway drug, isn't it? The dislike of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. Anyway, this troublemaker sue, this is vis a vis Alec Baldwin. My husband is a truck driver or lorry driver as we call them here on very large trucks. He's also the driver, assessor and trainer for his company. He says one of the biggest cause of accidents involving large vehicles and also trucker deaths, which we don't hear enough about, is from accidents caused by car drivers cutting up trucks or cutting them off due to impatience and bad road positioning, as Alec Baldwin no doubt did. Keep up the fantastic work. Thank you, troublemaker. Dear Maureen, I have been. Oh, this is a repeat offender. We love repeat correspondence. We've got a bunch of you who are regulars and we love it. I have been based in Memphis for 15 years now, spending many weeks there every year and have never gone to Graceland. But thanks to your interview of Donna Presley, that beautiful woman, I am now making it a top priority to go check out Elvis's beloved home. And when you do, this is Paulino. Troublemaker Paulino. Buy the the highest price ticket you can afford. I have done Graceland and I did like the highest like the all package ticket and I luckily wound up just by circumstance. I basically had a private tour guide because nobody else was in my group. And the, the big one lets you see everything. It lets you see the archives of like the warehouses on site where Elvis's, the TVs shot out are stored, the cars are stored, a lot of the wardrobe is stored. And then you can actually board his two private planes. And it's, it's incredible to do because what really strikes you when you do it is how small everything feels. And the juxtaposition of Elvis's celebrity and being the biggest star on the planet and then the hold he still has on the American psyche today and you get in this like private plane, the Lisa Marie and it just feels so small and it really, it shifts everything you think about celebrity and fame and culture and just the sort of evanescence of that and what we're sort of told it means and should be valued at versus what it really is. It'll blow your mind. Do it. Do it now. Paulieno says regarding Ryan Reynolds, that beady eyed rat creep with the soulless smirk of an arsonist feigning a smile. Please consider making a little space next to him for Blake in the nerve woodshed. Not often will you come across a couple where both belong on chipper row. I like that chipper row. I would put them in solitary though. I would separate those two. Now Paulino also said Paulino wrote in he's an airline pilot. The fact that you think airline pilots who have been unionized labor lo these many decades are not blue collar is fantastic. We like believing that ourselves, even us cargo dogs. Hello reporting from central Ohio. My local target has hoda's book for 30% off already. Lots of copies available with a screenshot. Amazing. We love it. Final email in Irish. Hello. Hi Maureen, a devoted troublemaker here, originally from Yonkers, New York, saying hello from County Cork, Ireland. I know you're a fan of Cillian Murphy, a former cookorian. I am a fan of Killian Murphy's. I wondered if you would ever do some sort of anti wood chipper segment. Here's a guy who's doing it right segment. We absolutely would. And you know I always from time to time in the show I like to weave in the people and the things that I am absolutely a fan of. And I think the substack is also going to be a great place for that where I'm going to be able to put like the things and the people I loved and the people who did it right in the culture. This week we saw him on Graham Norton being an absolute legend, like shining it on as Taylor Swift. That 16 year old showed the quarterback gave her the class ring, so she loved that. And then she saw a recent clip of him on Instagram talking about his favorite books. Would you ever consider doing a segment on Irish dudes getting it right? Yeah, I would. You know my favorite Irish dude of all time is Bono. So there you go. Okay, keep them coming. Keep your emails coming. Email me at maureenvilmakeremedia.com or DM me @instagram at Maureen callahanriter or at the Nerve show. And of course the sub stack is there for you to join up and talk to your other troublemakers and get all kinds of goodies that you'll see in the launch email that we put out last Friday. And there's shop thenerve.com if you want to do some early XMA shopping or early holiday shopping, whatever strikes your fancy. So yeah, that's that. I'm this close to pulling out a smart water bottle. Please correct me if I ever go too far. See you in a minute. It's Medicare annual enrollment time and that means that your mailbox is stuffed, your phone is blowing up with robocalls and texts, and it feels like a total cluster. There is a way to cut through the noise and this is the one Medicare message that you need to hear. Medicare plans change every year. So even if you're happy with Your coverage now, 2026 could screw you over. If you don't check what's coming, you could lose coverage for stuff you actually need. And that is why I'm telling you about Chapter your Go to Medicare partner. They are not like those shady brokers. You know, the ones the DOJ allegedly just sued for pushing plans that pad their own wallets. Chapter is different. 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[Maureen Callahan]

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[Maureen Callahan]

We are back. Now. We have to do this. We have to do this because this. This event regarding this repeat offender was not taken apart properly. And I. I'm the Prosecutor in the DA's office. I like to think I'm the go to when it's like other people haven't been able to make the charges stick and put this person away. That they're like, go over to nurse central and tap her and see if she's got room on her slate. Always room on my slate for this one. Now, Meghan Markle is in federal nerve court in the witness box, and she's going to be made to answer for her inconsistencies here because she went over to a Fortune magazine summit. You know, again, Fortune, Forbes, I don't understand why these otherwise esteemed business publications are devaluing their currency by hosting the likes of this grifter. Now, this was held in D.C. and we're gonna begin with talking about. By the way, I gotta preface this. This thing as. As I'm talking to you now, streamed like eight days ago, and it's got. It's struggling at, like, between 45 and 50k views. Okay, people over at Fortune, over at Forbes, Vogue, which is clearly thinking about putting her on their cover. This is what it gets you, okay? You're a laughingstock. You're a laughingstock and nobody's watching. People aren't even rubbernecking anymore. So, Megan first, our host pays fealty. We gotta kiss the ring. Gotta kiss the ring. Oh, Megan, you've been so busy traveling around the globe, but, you know, your priorities are in check. Watch it. Let's go. Here we go.

[Meghan Markle]

You've been all over the place. And we were talking backstage about how, yes, you've been to Europe. You were just in New York, which, congratulations, you just won a humanitarian award for your work with online safety for parents and children, and you made it home for One day to see your kids.

Yes, I had to. We were talking about that because everyone said, oh, you must have gone from Paris straight to New York. I said, no, I need to see my babies. So went back to California for a day and then continued on. But I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you.

[Maureen Callahan]

At your little summit. I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you. Okay, this is the takeaway. Megan is bragging about herself. Oh, you know, I'm just so busy. I mean, everybody thought, you know, I would just go from Paris to New York and then straight to here. But no, no, no, no, no. I had to see my babies. I had to go home. So for. I went to California for a day, and then I flew back here, and, you know. But I'm thrilled to be here, so. So thank you. Off, off. You're flying private number one. Number two, we all know by now you invited yourself to the Balenciaga show. You know, you up with that little stunt driving by Diana's tunnel. William's gonna have your metaphorical head before you effing know it. Oh, and then I had to go to New York to collect this award. My husband was so furious, he couldn't even look at me for the disrespect I showed his dead mother, who he can't get over. I'm just being crude here because they're both disgusting people. Oh. And then. But you know what? Nobody realizes that. You know what? I'm a real mom with real kids. And so I flew home to California because I had to see my babies. And then I flew back here, and, you know, I'm really happy to be here. Which sounds like D.C. or the afterthought. And, like, I'd really rather not, but, like, I'm thrilled. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Now our host asks her about how she and Harry planned out what their entrepreneurship and their branding would look like after they landed in California post Megxit. Now, listen to the question. It's carefully worded. And listen to the answer. Here we go.

[Meghan Markle]

So I want to rewind about five years ago, when you and your husband left England and you descended on Montecito, California.

[Maureen Callahan]

Quite a word.

[Meghan Markle]

What your next few years would look like in terms of the business impact you could have and the philanthropic impact you could have. And a lot of initiatives are going. But I want to just go back to that moment of as you and your husband were planning this out. How did you think about what you wanted to do, what your ambitions could do, and from your seat, what you could do for women?

Well, I think five years ago was a very different situation for all of us.

[Maureen Callahan]

Of course it was. It was five years ago. It was different than now. So little.

[Meghan Markle]

And got pregnant with Lily around that same time. So we were nesting. Nesting and healing. And also healing.

[Maureen Callahan]

I don't know.

[Meghan Markle]

I had the bandwidth at that time to think about what the big picture dream was. There was no plan. It was just, let's get through these next couple years, create community, which was always so important to both of us in our new environment.

[Maureen Callahan]

Okay, I am the prosecutor. I've got my timeline. Five years ago. Oh, we were nesting. We were healing with the tens of millions of dollars my husband fled with in royal monies. Okay, here's my timeline. Five years ago was 2028. That was Megxit, and I'm gonna go through it. April 2019, Prince Harry announces his deal with Oprah and Apple TV. CNBC headline from 2019. Apple's latest TV talent is Prince Harry and he's teaming up with Oprah. That's before Megxit, so they're already plotting as media entities. Megxit is announced January 8, 2020 20. That is eight months later. Headline from the BBC News. January 8, 2020. Prince Harry and Meghan to step back as Senior Royals. That's January 8, 2020. September 2020, the Netflix deal is announced. This is five years ago. Remember, we're healing. We're nesting. We're not thinking. We don't have the bandwidth. We couldn't possibly. The Guardian headline, September 2, 2020. Harry and Megan signed multi year Netflix deal. I'm just going to put a pin in this right now because there are more deals at the same time to just tell you this one thing. This is how it works. And I'm not Harry and Megan, but I've signed enough deals in my time, whether book deals or options for TV or movies or like, employment contracts, how it works, it takes months. It takes months. You're drawing up contracts, you're going back and forth. Your team, their team. Megan loves the phrase redlining because it makes her sound such an entertainment insider. All that is is like any given lawyer redlining through a contract and saying, we'd like to strike this out. We'd like to add this. Are you okay with this? Then when all is said and done and those months of negotiations are wrapped up, then it's determined when the announcement will be made, who makes the announcement, who signs off on the announcement, and who stays quiet until said announcement is made, and then what the other party can say. So the idea that Meghan and Harry suddenly got these offers and signed them like within weeks of fleeing Buckingham palace is bullshit. Just my opinion. They were in negotiations long before they descended on California. And if this so called reporter or interviewer had done a smidgen of her fucking homework or reading, she would have had an interview that would have gone viral because she would have been saying, hey, I've got this timeline. And it contradicts with exactly what you're saying. And I know Megan's lying because she's got so many towels. We all know them. And one of those tells is just closing our eyelids and fluttering them. And I just, I just didn't have the bit. I just didn't have the bandwidth. She's a fucking liar. Back to the timeline. Spotify deal announced December 2020. CNBC headline dated December 15, 2020. Prince Harry and Meghan will produce and host podcasts for Spotify, starting with a holiday Special in December. July 2021. 20 million dollar book deal announced. Vanity Fair headline July 26, 2021. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle reportedly working on a book about leadership and philanthropy that never came to fruition because it sounds boring as. But we got spare. March 2021, the Oprah interview. The famous shot heard round the world.

[Meghan Markle]

When I was pregnant, all around the same time. So we have in tandem the conversation of he won't be given security, he's not going to be given a title. And also concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he's born.

[Maureen Callahan]

What? What? Oprah was loving it. Oprah was licking her lips. She was like, this is the money quote, okay, I'm getting Super bowl numbers. And we all know those claims fell apart like, you know, a cheap pinata. But you know, Megan's out here still slaying her. That was five years ago. And I was just nesting and I was pregnant. I had a baby and we were just nesting and healing. And I have bandwidth to plan a multimedia empire that I subsequently like blew up with my inane. Because nobody believes the thing I have to say now as to why Megan wrapped up this little tour she did the past couple of weeks with. She this wound up in her Instagram reel, I believe. And then about like this went viral because everybody pulled it out. You know, Megan just wants to be a regular person. As she told Bloomberg's Emily Chang. Gosh, like the one thing I want people to know about me, I'm just a real person. You know, she just wants to be a person in the world. That's it. She Just wants to be a person. And we got the visual of her with her embroidered Longchamp huge bag on top of her luggage, monogrammed with an enormous D and an enormous S for Duchess of Sussex. So it's not that we want to be spotted in the private lounge at JFK wheeling our shit through with, you know, just privacy, please. Privacy, please. And this brings me to one of the foremost contributions to the culture made in the past four years. I'm going to say three years. Okay, so this was two years. Sorry, two years ago. This clip on YouTube. And this is just a clip. It's not. The full episode has over 3.2 million views. Okay? Again, people in the media take note. You want, you want some relevance, come over to our side of the street. Okay, if we'll have you at this point, Megan wants privacy. She just wants her privacy. So let's take a look at this indelible clip from the Meghan and Harry south park episode called Worldwide Privacy Tour. Down with the motorcycle. We deserve our privacy. Fuck these people. Speaking for America. Fuck these people. That does it. That does it. For this edition of the Nerve at night. We will be back here on Friday with a full Nerve with a reoccurring segment and another fresh one that still has material coming in that we're adding to the active list that it's just. It's too good. It's too good. We're having so much fun putting it together. So be sure to join us back here on Friday. In the meantime, check out our sub stack. Sign up, subscribe. All the fun kids are over there. Thenerveshow.com the nerve merch is at shop thenerve.com and we'll be back here on Friday with you at the Nerve, where you'll never guess what we're about to say next.

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[Maureen Callahan]

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