← The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
Lena Dunham's Deranged Rom-Com, AJLT's Insufferable Storylines, and Gary Shteyngart's Wealth Display
01:22:08
Maureen tears apart Lena Dunham's disturbing Netflix series "Too Much," which feels like a twisted blend of Dunham's personal life and her depraved thoughts on sex, relationships and family dysfunction. She also takes a swipe at novelist Gary Shteyngart for his grotesque display of wealth in a recent NYT's profile, which features his extensive designer watch collection. Then Maureen recaps the flimsy narratives of AJLT and breaks down the latest SJP media snore tour. Done with Debt: https://www.DoneWithDebt.com Beverly Hills MD Wrinkle Filler: Watch Dr. Layke's step-by-step video free and uninterrupted at https://BHMD1.com/Nerve Masa Chips: Get 25% off your first order | Use code MAUREEN at https://MASAChips.com/MAUREEN
Loading summary
Transcript33 lines
- [00:01]
Maureen Callahan
When work gets crazy, I like to stop by the bar after have a few cold ones. I don't drink at all until 4 o'. Clock. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night.
- [00:12]
Gary Steingart
Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks a few nights a.
- [00:17]
Maureen Callahan
Week, it can add up and suddenly.
- [00:19]
Gary Steingart
We'Re at greater risk for long term problems like heart disease, cancer and depression. Reason enough to rethink the drink. More more@rethinktodrink.com NoHE initiative in the summer, all of Oregon is our playground thanks to our incredible park system. That's why it's so cool that Oregon Lottery gameplay like video lottery or cash pop helps support tons of parks projects statewide like accessible trails at Silver Falls State park or upgrades to your favorite dog park in Newburgh. It's just one way A little lottery play for many Oregonians can add up to a lot of good the Oregon Lottery. Together we do good things. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment and only must be 18 or older to play.
- [01:04]
Maureen Callahan
Hey everyone. Welcome to the Nerve. We are back after a week off and I am so happy to be reunited with all of you and we are hitting the ground running. You know what? I'm going to amend that. We're sprinting. We've got a lot to get to. We've got two big stars heading to the woodshed. Actually, we're going to put one of them in the wood chipper. We're expanding here at the Nerve. You know what I'm telling you. Actually we did have a meeting during our week off and we were discussing expansion. We're going to be adding another show, it looks like to the weekly schedule. That's sooner than later. So all good things are happening here. We've got a preening hipster author who was once great and is now he's going out back too. He showed his face in the culture and it's not pretty. Plus we are going to dive into your feedback. So so glad you guys kept writing and dming me during our little break. I was reading all of it. Also just a quick note because we did that Tom Cruise segment with Bill from Brooklyn a few episodes back. I finally this week got to see Mission Impossible 8 the Final Reckoning. I know I'm a little bit late but honestly one of my very favorite things to do and has been forever is to go to the like. Like I have an inner geriatric like George Clooney. I definitely have an inner geriatric. I like to go to the movies on a weekday aftern by myself. And the movie's been out long enough. So, like, there's really nobody in the theater. Nobody's gonna annoy me by talking or eating loudly or being on their phone the whole time. It's. It's such a great, like, I find it a really decadent, enjoyable experience. So anyway, I. I had that exact experience on Friday afternoon. And not only is Mission Impossible 8 everything you would hope that it would be, there are all these, like, Christopher McQuarrie, who is the genius writer, director of these films and has been coll with Tom Cruise for years and years. He puts all these. There are little Easter eggs that aren't. And actual overt references, not just to old Mission Impossibles but to other great films. So if you're kind of a film geek like I am, it was really fun. There are these nods that included, but are not limited to Stanley Kubrick, 2001 and A Clockwork Orange. Hitchcock's north by Northwest, Steven Spielberg's Minority Report, which also starred Tom Cruise and Top Gun, and that's just to name a few. And the thing that also occurred to me, though, like, at this actual cineplex, everything that was playing, it was like an action film for dudes or, you know, teenage boys. It was F1. It was Superman, you know, Mission Impossible 8. I'm guessing it's skews heavily male. I don't know the Breakdown, but. And then as kids, it's movies for kids, it's cartoons. And I'm thinking to myself, like, where. Where are, like, just the adult entertainment films for, like, people who just want to chew on something that feels, you know. I don't mean like adult, you know, but you know what I mean? Like, and where are the movies for women? Like, where are the movies that are aimed at women? They are so few and far between now. And it got me thinking about the rom com, which used to be like a dominant genre, especially in the 90s. It really. I think it's all but dead. And I'm wondering if Lena Dunham, who we're gonna get to, and another adjunct of hers from hbo, you may know who I'm going for. If they've, like, killed it. If they've killed it dead. And there's a rom com out right now that I'm going to see this week because I'm thinking of making it the Mini Nerve for Saturday. Like, the whole. The rom com and the greatness of it and what happened to it and can we get it? So let me know if you if that's something you guys would be interested in, I think it could be really fun. And I also, before we begin, just want to give a special thank you to a few beloved troublemakers, you know who you are, who gave me a gift during my break that will forever live at Nerve hq. And it came from. They went to a rocket launch. It's a Kennedy Space center mug. And that's me. I'm the astronaut. You know, faceless, often not so much really, but inspirational and legendary, you know, so they see me, they see my Kennedy fixation, they see my, you know, the grit that took me into outer space. And I'd also like to give a very, very, very special thank you to everyone who has liked and subscribed. And over the break, we had no new content up boosted our YouTube subs to almost 200k. We added like 12,000 subscribers in our week off. And all of us here at the Nerve are so, so grateful. And, you know, we were already. But if that didn't just make us, like, go, you know, we're coming back, we're coming back just guns blazing, okay? We're giving you everything we think you possibly could. So remember, like, subscribe, spread the word, and we will be up to three full episodes a week before you know it. The American dream has changed. Forget the white picket fence. For most Americans, the real dream is getting out of debt. If you're feeling the pressure from rising prices, mounting credit card debt, and just trying to stay afloat, I want you to know there is a way out. Done with debt. They have one goal. Break you free from debt permanently. They're not pushing loans or bankruptcy. Instead, their tough negotiators go straight to your creditors, slashing what you owe, wiping out interest, and eliminating penalties. And they don't stop until your debt is gone. And the best part, most clients see more money in their pocket in the first month. You've worked too hard to let debt steal your future. With done with Debt, your dream of being debt free is actually possible. Visit donewithdebt.com, talk with one of their experts. It's completely, completely free. But some of their solutions are time sensitive, so don't wait. Go to donewithdebt.com that's donewithdebt.com troublemakers. It is time to reopen the woodshed. We are letting in some light. We are letting in some air. And we are making room for our next permanent resident. She's never getting out. 1 Lena Dunham currently be fouling Netflix with her new show, An Alleged rom com based on her own life. She says semi autobiographical. I think it's like 90% autobiographical. Just my opinion. It's called too much. It's a double entendre. But don't you dare acknowledge that. Otherwise you're being politically incorrect. Lena's gonna have your head. But, you know, she's locked up in the woodshed. What could she do? Okay, anyway, this show is terrible. And you know, this is a, this is a bold statement. I know, but it might be worse than a just like that. It might be worse than a just like that. And you know what? I'm going off of the comment section on Vulture, which is a self selecting group of fans of artists like this, women like this, actresses like this, so called auteurs like this, you know, and just like that, each episode will generate among the commentariat between 4 to 500 comments per episode. And that's substantial. And then I went over to see Lena's comment section and aside from the fnaf, the. Sorry, the season premiere, the series premiere, which maybe had four comments, the rest of the reviews have zero comments. So people can't even really be like bothered to hate watch Lena. I mean, I can. I'm going to report to you from the front lines. I took some, I took some shrapnel for you. But you know, this is the kind of relationship we're, we're at. This is the stage of our relationship where I will take the shrapnel, you know, so. But the thing that kind of really is fascinating to me is you've got Lena Dunham still active in the culture. You've got Sarah Jessica Parker still active in the culture. And they have both fused with their fictional creations. And it is a body horror epic for the ages. And both, by the way, both were birthed over at HBO Corporate. So they've got a lot to answer for, I think, though I do think this is my supposition that HBO obviously had a first look deal with Lena. You know, she signed with them with Girls and that was a, that was a cultural hit for them. I don't think it was ever really a mainstream hit, but I am sure she had a first look deal. And it seems like HBO is passed on just about every Lena project. I mean, they hired her to direct the series premiere of Industry. You guys know, I'm a fan of that show, but it had her typical grossness in it. Her typical weird sexual grossness in it. And they cut her loose. Just my supposition. Just my supposition. Anyway, Lena is. Has been carpet bombing the culture while promoting this vulgarity. And I'm just speaking in terms of art, really. I mean, it's vulgar and it's gross and we'll get to it. But in terms of art, it's just. It's. It's. It's an abomination. She's on the COVID of Variety, and she did an interview with them as well, which is hilarious because she's doing Q and A's. And again, like, we're not supposed to mention how medically morbidly obese she is. And it's, it's disturbing on many levels. And I'll get into that, you know, but the, the broad stroke is she's trying to normalize something that is. Can only lead to comorbidities that will kill you. Young. Sorry, it's not, It's. It's not a healthy thing. It's not to be celebrated. But she, she's always like, I'm happy, like, whatever size I am. And, you know, and she's. She's sitting there, cards, and she's, she's being sure to, like, I'm wearing the snake ring, by the way, because I'm coiled to strike. She's got her pinkies out like, like, she's so just a delicate flower and her nails are manicured and she. So if. Don't tell me. She doesn't care about how she looks, as she often says. So she's everywhere. Magazines, podcasts, New York Times, Vogue, Variety, social media for her awful, flat, unfunny, physically revolting show often and by design, revolting. And I am now convinced more than ever that one Judd Apatow, who helped Midwife Girls into what it was. I think he was the creative glue. I think he was the sophisticate in the room and understood how to execute. And, you know, not for nothing, he has not been seen anywhere near Lena Dunham for years, which tells you something. It's often the people who you don't see and the voices who are no longer speaking, the people who have disappeared. That tells you everything. Okay. Okay. So the Times review, Mike. I died. I died. I hadn't seen it, but our amazing producer Marlena was like, hey, have you seen this? The New York Times review. It's not nervy enough. It's not nervy enough. Interesting word. Do you think that's like a wink and a nod to us? Do you think we troublemakers are having an impact already on the culture? Okay, so I'm going to give you a sampling of dialogue, like, okay, here is the notebook in which I wrote this down. I do it analog. And I just could not believe the stuff that was like, she wrote this show, she wrote this dialogue. And she also stars in the show. She has a supporting role as the sister of the character that's based on Lena Dunham. Now, the Lena Dunham character is played by an act, I use this word loosely. Actress named Meg Stalter, who you may know from Hacks. Excellent show last season. A little spotty, but really excellent show. I highly recommend it. If you loved Joan Rivers, you will love Hacks. But she plays this like, Nepo, baby of a very powerful Hollywood agent. And she's very broad and flat comedically in that show. And I often wondered, is she getting directed this way because everybody around her is so good? No, she's this limited. She's this limited. But I guess there's really not that many people out there who resemble Lena Dunham that much. And so Meg Stalter it is. Now, I'm going to give you a sampling again, as I said, of the dialogue. This is from an episode. This is episode number four. Named. It's called. The title is called Nodding Kill. And by the way, Lena Dunham, her character, again, she's. She's writing herself, I believe. She seems. Okay. So Lena. The thing that makes Lena so insufferable is she comes from this very privileged background and this very sophisticated upbringing, upbringing in New York City. But she, she acts as though. And I believe this may be true, her entire knowledge of England, of British, of Britain, of British culture comes from 90s rom coms. And she hasn't seen anything that dates past 1990 or days before. Excuse me. And so she, like, steps off, like, the plane, like, just like off the turnip truck. And she's like, oh, my God, it's. It's Buckingham Palace. Oh, my God. It's like, I. I'm in a pub. I'm in a pub. I'm. I'm renting a flat. Not. It's like that. It's just. It's so. Okay. Now in episode four, Lena, who's. Surprise, surprise, having trouble fitting in, she's at a sophisticated dinner party thrown by her boss, who really hates her for obvious legit reasons. We will get into. His wife is played by Naomi Watts. What Naomi Watts is doing in this, I have no idea. Naomi, have a deep, long conversation with your agent. You're better than this. Naomi is playing this very eccentric but very sophisticated British woman. Like she, you know, just beautifully dressed, home Is filled with like modern art, it's, you know, whatever. So Lena is seated next to the Naomi character at this dinner. Again the wife of her boss. And I'm going to warn you, some of this dialogue, it's graphic. It's graphic and. But it has to be heard to be believed and to prove our case, to prosecute Lena Dunham. Okay, here she says unbidden to the Naomi Watts character, Quote, some days I'll wake up and I'm on top of the world. Other days I'm waking up and my piss holes like burning fire. She calls her mother to rave about the boyfriend that she's met 10 days prior who has no job, no money, no real place to live, a drug habit that may or may not be active, whose sexuality seems complicated to say the least. And her mother says, you got to cut this guy loose. Don't even get any deeper. This is a non starter. And the Lena character takes great umbrage. And she says to her mother, this is a FaceTime. So imagine it's a FaceTime. Says to her mother, why don't you ask me questions like does he fuck you from behind in a respectful way if you have kids, like, turn it off if they're around, if there are small ones around, turn it off. She continues, does he finger blast you? Does he know how to finger bang? Why don't you ask me questions like that? We get a close up on a full toilet for no reason. There's never a reason. But you know, we had a close up look at this. This is again like, you know, if you're listening, you may be sparing yourself and not watching it, but there's a close up on Lena's face doing a FaceTime call with her sister who's in the back of a cab in London. And Lena's face is posited right between her sister's open legs. And look at the expression on Lena's face. And if you don't think this woman knows exactly what she's doing, because as we well know, and I pulled out the book because I got it when it was published years ago, her memoir, not that Kind of Girl. I mean, talk about a double entendre. She writes in the book. She writes, I pulled it out. She, I went back and looked of her sister. Oh, there, lest I forget. The chapter on Barry, the guy she falsely accused of rape in that chapter, a real guy who she had to apologize to. Here she is on her sister. I'm gonna read it. Her sister Grace, who in one interview she called her brother. And I was going, why is Lena Dunham has a brother? And then I realized, oh, no. Like, the sister transitioned in the pages of the New Yorker. Because the only way to get attention in that family, trust me, Lena takes up all the oxygen in the room as she grew. I'm reading from a chapter called Grace, page 150. I took to bribing her for her time and affection. $1 in quarters. If I could do her makeup like a, quote, motorcycle chick, three pieces of candy. If I could kiss her on the lips for five seconds. Whatever she wanted to watch on tv, if she would just, quote, relax on me. Basically anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl. I was trying. Helena Dunham still has work in this industry is beyond me. But, you know, we just saw what happened with Diddy. I'm not comparing her to Diddy, but, you know, pendulum seems to be swinging. Okay, now Lena Dunham's ID is splattered all over this series, all over every available surface. Like the crime scene, it is. The Lena Dunham character is reprimanded at work for smelling, for physically emitting body odor. Lena herself in the show, there are several scenes of her lying in bed, prone. Not even like the head propped up, just like prone. And then like from the neck down, she's like wrapped up in like a huge duvet, which, you know, you gotta wonder, is this her trying to like, get out of being shot, you know, as she is? But she's playing this character as though she's like clinically depressed or just like an asshole, because Lena's just an asshole. And then the mother comes in and is like, you got to get out of bed and you got to take a shower. You know, you smell and she's got huge headphones on and she's listening to Taylor Swift and she's weeping. She's playing a middle aged mother of like an 11 year old. In episode five, Lena, in a scene in the kitchen, her hair is actually greasy. It's unwashed and greasy. And you can see it. And you can see the editors try to cut around this to avoid us having the viewers having to absorb this. I mean, Lena is 39 years old in real life. Okay, so we talked about the Variety interview. And in that she says, we did.
- [20:52]
Sarah Jessica Parker
Not want the show to be about Jessica's body. Like, her body's not the reason that she is single.
- [21:00]
Maureen Callahan
It's also not the reason that someone wants to be with her. We worked really hard to really nail.
- [21:03]
Sarah Jessica Parker
The idea that every woman, every person is self conscious in this society about the way that they look.
- [21:12]
Maureen Callahan
And how can we have that conversation without making it be about making it.
- [21:15]
Sarah Jessica Parker
Be sizest, without making it be ableist making it just feel like a true expression.
- [21:21]
Maureen Callahan
That is a bunch of bullshit because ever since she thrust herself upon an unwitting nation with girls and got naked on that show and engaged in a variety of humiliat sex acts on that show, and I believe I remember now, she put like a much more attractive actress who was playing her, her ex boyfriend in the show, his new girlfriend. She made her do some really, really degrading stuff. And I thought that's the real Nina. She's fucking dark, she's ugly, she hates women and she hates herself. Now the character based on her ex boyfriend, Jack Antonoff, who is Taylor Swift's longtime producer and collaborator and who dumped Lena and then very quickly or relatively quickly married the beautiful young actress Margaret Qualley. So he's in this show, it's obviously Jack and their relationship is surprise deteriorating because she is just like, you know how some diseases are treatment resistant. Lena Dunham is treatment resistant. There is no vaccine, there is no medication that will make her more palatable. And the character nails her. He says to her, you are always dressing for negative attention because you're not a Hadid sister. And then he goes on to say it's fine not to be a Hadid sister, but just be a normal person. And then he goes on to tell her she's shallower than she'll ever admit because she's just dying to be part of a power couple. I loved it. I loved it. Now also on the show, Lena's husband, who is I believe based the basis for this character, she said in another interview, I've been reading too many of them that her mother didn't meet her husband until the wedding day. He is credited as the co creator of this show and I believe he's the co creator in as much as she took him for inspiration and their story for inspiration. But other than that he did nothing. The guy is a failed musician and you know, he's with Lena Dunham now and if her connections were going to make it happen, it would have happened. And also his ex girlfriend before Lena wound up in my algorithm. Again, thank you, algorithm. As I've said, I'm sure, sure you will turn on me someday, but. And the ex girlfriend is like a British hipster waif who is gorgeous. Okay, again now in the show, the boyfriend, I don't even remember his name. It's like, it's that. It's that insubstantial. He's played by Will Sharp, who was in season two of the White Lotus, and he was great. But even Will Sharp cannot act as though he is credibly into this woman. So in the show, like in episode seven, she said. She tells him, she says, like, I love you. And he says to her, I. I don't know how to say that. I don't know how to say that. And then she overhears him later saying I love you to her dog multiple times. So I am stuck currently on episode seven. And he. See, this character, this guy seems to be using the Lena character for, you know, free food, free lodging, all kinds of humiliating sex, cheating on her professional contacts. I mean, I think it. It smacks of real life to me. Smacks of real life to me. The Lena character has lots of unprotected sex. And when she's asked about that, she says, what is this, 1950? She went to Oberlin. She went to a fancy private school in Brooklyn called St. Anne's and then she went to Oberlin. And she loves to fancy herself, you know, something of a literary. A literary figure who writes for the New Yorker from time to time. Her character pronounces the word abject as an abject failure. Abject. Okay? And then the Lena character's dog, she doesn't get the dog fixed. It's a female. And so in typical Lena fashion, she's giving the dog to a new friend to dog sit. And she says, listen, she free bleeds. So if she starts bleeding, just let her have at it. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. So that. Those are. Those are just a few. A few examples. But. So for push. For pushing this stuff into the culture, what does Lena Dunham get? She gets. She gets a lot of star from said media. I mean, here she is like, this is. This is. But you can see that they do get the shivs in. Like, this is the. This is the front page of Sunday's Arts and Leisure section in the New York Times. It's the head. Speaking of, can the women of Too Much make the rom com just right? I mean, the answer is no. But, like, look at Lena's face. Only part of it is above the fold. Okay, so here's Lena, too. She did a Q and A. I think it's a cover story for Interview magazine. So the current editor in chief is this guy named Mel Ottenberg. This whole thing is a sacrilege to Andy Warhol's memory and work. Okay. His legacy. So he's talking to Lena for the COVID story, and I pulled some key dialogue for you because it's Q and A, as is the format with Interview magazine. Lena Dunham to Mel. This is the opening. I wish the readers could see how tender you look right now, Mel. You look so amazing right now. Okay? This is some prime level. Can two people form a circle jerk? I mean, it. I just. I don't know how else to describe this. How tender. And she uses this word, tender at least three times in this interview, and it's so affected. And literally nobody talks like this. Literally nobody talks like this, but she's using the word. Oh, my God. Okay, At a certain point in this interview, which is being conducted in Mel's apartment in Chelsea, I believe they move into the bedroom. Mel's a gay man. Now, this guy is a type, okay? He is a former celebrity stylist. He. I believe he was just shot for. He recently did. So I read on the weekends, the Financial Times Weekend Edition, which is a great way to, like, just get everything that went on in the week and then, like, some cool, like, you know, arts and leisure stuff. And, you know, because I believe in that. That saying, like, if you want to know what the people who run the world are thinking and what they're about to do, read the financial pages. You know, Mark Zuckerberg runs the world as much as Donald Trump does. But anyway, Mel Ottenberg did one of these things. They have this magazine called htsi. It used to be how to spend it. Now it's how to save it or whatever. But there's this one section that I just think anybody who says yes to you will never come off looking good. It's basically like they shoot you in your residence and then you tell them all your favorite things. And, like, 201, these people are like, you know, it's gross. You just look like a gross person. And they did. Mel Ottenberg and his place basically looked like a. Like a Milk Studios. But I'm sure that Mel Ottenberg, this entire time that Lena's in his domicile, is thinking, just please don't. Please, God, do not break any of my vintage furniture. I'm sure that's the running dialogue again. I'm saying this because she's out there promoting this idea that morbid obesity is like a normal, healthy option. It is not. It is not part of the body positivity movement. Ask Lizzo. Ask Oprah. They took the jab. And I'm not endorsing the jab. I'm just saying now it is not, again, a healthy option. And the media is at fault here because they are colluding with her to push this very Lena Dunham, in my opinion. I'm already moving hair around, okay? She's. In my opinion, she's clearly a very mentally ill woman. She writes in her book. She writes about, like, no shortage of mental disorders that she had as a child, including imagining her parents copulating in various unusual positions, which truly makes me wonder what went on in that home. I think it was a dark place. My theory of the case, she wrote about sex offending against her little sister, okay? But the media continues to push her in our faces as some kind of cultural icon as. No, as a feminist heroine. And she's a sick woman. She's a sick woman who needs a lot of help. And she should just take her Netflix money and go. Go get some inpatient treatment for quite a while. Okay? But no, we're going to go back to dainty tea and crumpets with Mel. Let's get our pinky fingers up. Okay, Mel, we've moved into my bedroom. I brought two different kinds of cookies to my bed. People I don't like, I don't get eating in bed. Coffee? Sure. Eating in bed. The cookies, he says they're both from Cinderella. Which low key has the best cookies in town? He's trying to sound like one of the kids. He's an older guy, you know? And also Cinderella. It's a fancy store, okay? Those cookies cost $10 for, like, five. Okay, Dunham, is this where you watch TV? Mel? Yes. Last night I was in here watching Too much at 1:27am Dunham, that's so tender. In a later episode, do you remember if you guys watched Fleabag? Great show. Great, great show. The hot priest from Fleabag shows up. And of course, in Lena's world, he's just dying to have sex with her character. The stinky, unhygienic, unattractive, obnoxious. My piss holes on fire character, this sophisticated director is dying to have sex with her. It's shades of Patrick Wilson in Girls. And she, like, pushed back on that hard. She was like, how dare you think a hot guy wouldn't want to fuck me? Well, you know, we live in the real world. And all this does is serve as a reminder of what a superior show Fleabag was and is and. And what a superior tal, the writer, creator, star of that show, Phoebe Waller Bridge, is. Phoebe Waller Bridge also made Killing Eve those first two seasons. But that first season Especially such a banger. You know, I think she's off taking a well deserved break. Phoebe Waller Bridge. So anyway, Lena Dunham. To the woodshed you go. And in the woodshed you shall remain. And when your next cultural abomination hits, and it will, it will, because, you guys, she is shooting a project called Ever the Provocateur of this One. She's not even clever about it. She's just, it's like 8th grade humor. She's shooting a project called Good Sex with Natalie Portman as we speak. And that will probably, you know, we're gonna have the wood chipper up and running by then. We're getting like an actual wood chipper and we're gonna be, you know what I mean? And we're gonna be tossing a limb or two in there, you know, even if we have to buy two. Okay, up next, we have a new offender in the culture. And then, and then, and then I'll be reading your emails, which is the best part of any given show. I will see you in a minute. For years, we've been told wrinkle creams are the key to looking younger. But according to Dr. John Lakey, a Beverly Hills beauty expert, that is outdated advice. He claims that most wrinkle products are just glorified moisturizers that barely improve appearance and some may even harm your skin. So Dr. Lakey has shifted his focus from traditional cosmetic procedures to a new anti aging method that some experts say could disrupt the beauty industry. His clients call it the Age Rewinder method, a do it yourself technique that can visibly reduce the appearance of wrinkles in under two minutes. To share this breakthrough, Dr. Lakey released a free step by step video explaining how to use the method at home. This video has gone viral with over 2.3 million views and thousands of positive comments. One viewer wrote, Best results of anything I've used. I can't believe how well this works. I will never stop using this. To watch the video, go to bhmd1.com nerve or click the link in the description box below. Dr. Lakey asks that if this video helps you look or feel younger, please share it with others. Together, more people can discover this simple at home solution. Visit bhmd1.com nerv now in the summer.
- [34:01]
Gary Steingart
All of Oregon is our playground thanks to our incredible park system. That's why it's so cool that Oregon lottery gameplay like video lottery or cash pop helps support tons of parks. Projects statewide like accessible trails at Silver Falls State park or upgrades to your favorite dog park in Newburgh. It's just one way A little lottery play for many Oregonians can add up to a lot of good. The Oregon Lottery. Together we do good things. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. Must be 18 or older to play.
- [34:34]
Maureen Callahan
We are back. Let's jump right in. I want to talk. Do I want to. I feel like we have to talk about the newest offender in the culture. This is a guy named Gary Steingart. Now, Gary Steingart was a big hipster writer, late 90s or maybe mid aughts. He wrote an incredible novel called Super Sad True Love Story. Really, really funny. First 3/4 of it are great and then it kind of falls apart in the last quarter of the book. But it's forgivable because it's so original. And that book was set in, I want to say, like, 2010 New York. And he saw a lot of things coming. Like in his Manhattan, everybody was walking around with wearable tech. And the people in his novel who are like, in their 20s, like hipsters in their 20s, would walk into bars in the Lower east side and your wearable tech would have your credit score and, like, your affability number, and that would go from 1 to 10. And your affability number was directly linked to your credit score. So anytime you walked into a bar or nightclub, like, that would go off and pay. You know, it was funny. It was funny. And he saw a lot of the class divide that was going to widen even. Even more so. And James Franco was palling around with him and before he got canceled. And Gary Steingart's whole thing was like, he was kind of like this schlubby guy who was a nerd from his parents were Russian immigrants. And he grew up, like, in the outer boroughs, like in Queens. And like, if you come from the outer boroughs or Long Island, I come from Long Island. A lot of really interesting New York artists come from Long Island. Like, I'm thinking about Billy Joel, whose HBO documentary is about to start, and we're going to cover it because I love Billy Joel and I think he gets such a bum rap. Because the problem with Billy Joel is he's a brilliant artist. But he was never cool, right? He was like, never a cool guy. But, you know, and so I. Anyway, I'm psyched to get into it. But the point is you forever kind of have an outsider mentality because you did not grow up in Manhattan proper. And it gives you a very, very, very interesting lens. And I think it gives you an edge because you come at things as an outsider, and you're inherently kind of skeptical of what's right in front of your face. And, you know, I knew Gary Steingart was beginning to lose it with his last novel, which was called Our Country Friends. And it was about a bunch of, like, middle aged New Yorkers who, excuse me, during the pandemic, retreated to their house upstate and had a comedy of manners. And I thought, okay, I see where this is going. And now we've reached our logical conclusion, which is a piece in the New York Times in which Gary, they tell us, has recently turned into an. You know, can I just show you a picture of Gary? This is a picture of Gary. Okay. This is. This is a picture of Gary. He's not Norman Mailer. Having recently turned into an unlikely men's style icon with a penchant for crisp martinis, tailored suits, and vintage watches. This is so cliche. This is so martinis, tailored suits, and vintage watches. You're a writer. You're supposed to be original. And, you know, back when he was kind of original, he wrote, okay, again, you're not gonna believe this. It all sounds fantastical, but these people live among us, and they're trying to make their footprint in the culture. And, you know, he wrote about his botched circumcision in the New Yorker. And, you know, this is also a place where Lena Dunham is published. And I maintain, as I have lo these many years, that David Remnick, that great intellectual over at the New Yorker, is often sometimes guided by his inner star. Okay, now from Gary's New Yorker piece, which I pulled up to share with you guys, because I'll never withhold from you. This is dated October 4, 2021. Again, I warn you, it's graphic, but it's also kind of a tease, because this is like, these are artists who I think have really just admitted run everyone off in their lives who has, like, an iota of good sense. Like, they don't listen to anybody. They're like, I'm a genius. I'm a genius. If you criticize me, if you offer me critic, you're just jealous. You know, this is what's going on. Okay? A quote from Gary's essay in the New Yorker about his botched circumcision as an adult, his decision to surgically fix this. I mean, Jesus, we're running around with an ingrown hair in our penis for years. Okay? Years, quote. Oh, my God, I can't believe. Okay, the hair knot around my skin bridge, which he describes further up in the. In the piece as looking like. Again, this is his analogy, not mine. So it's telling. He describes it as looking like the kind of plasticated string cheese that moms pack in their kids school lunches. That's him describing the skin bridge of his mutilated penis. Quote could not be prized loose. Using tweezers, I just get the visual of him in his bathroom, like, see if, like, a loop. You know, art directors have, like, a loop. And any attempts to dislodge it with my fingers only tightened it around the string of superfluous. My wife's. Oh, this poor wife. He's living off his wife's money, by the way. Okay? He is a writer and he teaches writing at, like, Columbia or something. He is not you. You cannot. Unless you're Stephen King or J.K. rowling. You are not living off your writing. Sorry. His wife is an attorney. He's living off her money. I'm just saying my supposition. So she's this poor woman. She's like, let's try some Nair. She's probably dying. Unless, like, this is actually her way of, like, avoiding sex with Neba. She. Gary. Which, you know, I think it's a good theory. Gary continues for days. We applied the hair removal lotion with calligraphic. Calligraphic precision. Paging Meghan Markle. The knotted hair appeared smaller in diameter, but it remained wrapped around the bridge. And did he take a D? Did he keep a diary? This is so detailed, in fact, it was now digging into the skin, releasing what looked like a stream of pusa. This is what David Remnick thinks is New Yorker material. And this is who we are dealing with in Gary Steingart. So here we are in the New York Times, pegged to his new book that no one's going to read. And he called it Vera or something. And it's clearly, clearly an attempt to be compared to Nabokov, whose wife's name was Vera. And the author does his bidding in this piece, this New York Times journalist, and he's not Vladimir Nabokov. Nobody is Vladimir Nabokov. Now he talks about prior to this rebirth, this metamorphosis to a male style icon. He's right. He's rivaling Brad Pitt on the. On the red carpet, okay? He's. As a professor of creative writing at Columbia. I was right. He recalled showing up for an evening with the university's president dressed in, quote, I don't know, a diaper. This guy sounds as stunted as Lena Dunham. Just grow up. Grow up. I continue reading from this Times piece, which, by the way, we're. Look at. Look. Look at this. This looks like. This looks like, you know, when the feds released the images that they took of the baby oil at Diddy's, you know, residences, this is. This is adjacent to that. This photograph the New York Times took of Gary's luxury watch collection. And I quote, you're just gross if you're doing this. You're shoving your good fortune in people's faces. It's one thing to be like, yeah, I'm doing okay. Like, you know, I'm enjoying life. It's another to shove your good for your material belongings. Oh, my God. Okay. And I quote, but there was no sign of diapers. Now, at his Gramercy park apartment, Gramercy park, where Carrie Bradshaw lives. We're getting to her. Mr. Steingart changed into a $10,000 suit made for him out of six ply Italian milled wood by the Japanese tailor Yuhi Yamamoto. I think this is clearly different than Yohi Yamamoto because he wrote about the suit for the Atlantic. Mr. Steingart was allowed to keep Mr. Yamamoto's bespoke creation journalistically. That is a. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Quote. Gary's approach to clothing increasingly resembles. Oh, this is a someone named Mr. Greenwood. I don't know who's Mr. Greenwood in his life anyway? I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna quote it. His approach to clothing increasingly resembles his approach to watch collecting, taking pleasure in not only how things look, but how they're made, why they're made that way, and who made them. Mr. Greenwood then compared Gary's style to that of literary giants like Norman Mailer. No. And George Plimpton. No, no, no and no. It was hard to ignore the Patek Philippe Aqua, you know. Bye, Gary. Bye. Now onto your emails. Better reading all around. I got a lot of these over the break. Hi, Maureen. I have missed your show this week, and I'm concerned about you. Is everything okay? Yes. Yes. Troublemaker. We were just taking a quick break. Another one. I love watching the Nerve, especially all the woodshedding of the astronauts. Oprah, Michelle. Now let's do Whoopi. You got it. I also got a request for Joanna Gaines to be added to our list of people going to the woodshed. And, you know, she's on the list. You got it. Like I said, you're the boss. We got a ton of response to the Oprah mini nerve that we dropped over the fourth of July weekend. A ton. And you know, we will be revisiting Oprah and I would like to ask you guys for any tips. I heard from a lot of you about her association with a huckster charlatan named John of God, who I think wound up going to prison for assaulting at least 50 girls and women. And she has successfully, it seems, scrubbed all of that stuff from the Internet. So if you have any information, materials, places, you could point us over at the Nerve, please. Let's go. Maureen. My mom and I were at Oprah's live show taping in September of her final year. During the pre show warmup, Oprah sat while a young in front of the audience while a young lady put her shoes on for her in reference to Gayle tying Oprah's shoelaces at the Bezos wedding. People have been helping her with her shoes for a long time. Maureen, we haven't met. I would like to sit next to you at dinner. That's so lovely. Now, this is in reaction to the Barbara Walters segment that we did, which also really struck a nerve. I was really excited to see that. I didn't know how that one would go over. So this troublemaker, whose name is James, is reminding me of Kyle Smith's review of Barbara's memoir Audition. I read Audition and it's a real piece of work. And he says every line of Kyle's review makes me jealous. And just a shout out to Kyle, my former colleague at the Post who I have great affection for and is genius writer. He currently writes at the Journal. Read everything he writes. He's a genius. I'd like to share with you a little anecdote related to me by a dear friend who. So Barbara Walters had a massage therapist near the end of her life. I find the story haunting. Every evening she would be she, she wanted a massage before bed and he would arrive at her massive apartment at 944 Fifth Ave. Barbara would be all alone. In the course of her massage, she would fall asleep and the masseuse would let himself out. Passing walls. You see this in the dock covered with photos of Barbara Post with every world leader, dignitary, star and superstar imaginable. Hundreds of pictures. Yet there she was now, an old lady all by herself in her cavernous fifth Avenue apartment. Kyle quotes the advice once given to Barbara by Richard Nixon and cited proudly by her quote, put your arm through the arm of the person you are next to and then they can't cut you out of the photo because your arm would still be there. That seems to sum up the depth of her relationships. I agree with You, James. Hi, Maureen. I found this in my drafts. Don't think I sent Bill Maher. We still get the stories. Okay, he's got two, but I'm going to share the first one. And this is called the Humpty Hump. At Shea Martin, Hollywood, California, 1996. Setting the table with his friends Kathy and Susan. They were aspiring actresses new to la. They found their first Hollywood jobs at a legendary rock and roll hangout on the Sunset. Sunset Strip called the Rainbow. They were quite a pair. Mar took notice Again, this is 96. Just this troublemakers report. He invited them to a party at his house. So of course they went. The following is me attempting to channel Kathy's voice. My best recollection of what Kathy told me. Kathy. So we get to Bill Maher's house and the music was completely cheesy. I mean, this tracks. Does this not track? Everyone was doing the Humpty Hump. So Susan and I immediately go to the stereo to take over the music situation. And all his CDs were garbage. Like the Spice Girls. No offense to Victoria Beckham, a force in the culture, but you know, he doesn't have Radiohead. That's like a low bar, you know. Okay. Anyway, total shite. So Susan and I go to Bill Maher and we're like, bill, what is up with these cheesy CDs? You listen to the Spice Girls. And Bill Maher was totally offended and got completely defensive. Bill Maher in total pearl clutching mode. I don't buy these CDs. They are given to me and you are not welcome here. Bill Maher threw them out of his house. He was a total humorless prick about it. All of it tracks a lovely email from a troublemaker named Alex. Quick note. This was sent on Friday the 11th. We miss you like crazy. I missed you guys too. If you do talk about. And just like that, when you get back, of course it's unspoken. We know each other. You know I'm going to do it for you. Can you point out the complete exorcist moment Carrie had all over Miranda in her kitchen? Her reaction was so evil. What an absolute horror show of a person. I would have told her to fudge off until an apology came around. Agreed? Agreed. Agreed. And we're getting to it. Next. I promise. And it's not just in just like that. We're going to town on Sarah Jessica Parker, who's been on a little mini tour of her own. A little mini media tour of her own this week. So that said, I don't need to remind you, but it's my friendly reminder. Keep them coming. Keep your emails coming to me. I am Maureen devilmakehairmedia.com or you can find me on Instagram at Maureen Callahan, Writer DM me there or over at the Nerve show. And that's that. Okay? Coming up, we're doing Sarah Jessica. We're doing the novel that Carrie is writing and we are doing the last two episodes of and just like that to cover the one that we didn't talk about during our break. We will be back in a minute. Here's a question for you. Did you know that up until the 1990s all chips and fries were cooked in beef tallow which is far preferable to seed oils. Then big food companies made the switch to the cheaper, highly processed seed oils and now Those make up 20% of the average American daily calories. That is why I am excited to tell you about masa, a chip that is doing things differently. Masa chips are made with just three ingredients, organic corn, sea salt and 100% grass fed beef tallow. That is it. No seed oils, no junk. And let me tell you, they are so good. They are crunchier, they are tastier. And my ultimate test will your guacamole break that chip? Not with Masa. They leave you also feeling light, satisfied and energized. There is no crash, no bloat. There is nothing these chips cannot do. Try them, please. You will taste the difference. Masa chips are beloved by tens of thousands of customers and have been endorsed by industry leading health and nutrition experts. If you are Ready to give Masa a try, go to masachhips.com Maureen and use code MAUREEN for 25% off your code first order. That's masachips.com Maureen code Maureen for 25% off your first order.
- [51:44]
Gary Steingart
In the summer, all of Oregon is our playground thanks to our incredible park system. That's why it's so cool that Oregon Lottery gameplay like video lottery or cash pop, helps support tons of parks projects statewide like accessible trails at Silver Falls State park or upgrades to your favorite dog park in Newburgh. It's just one way a little lottery play for many Oregonians can add up to a lot of good the Oregon Lottery Together we do good things. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. Must be 18 or older to play.
- [52:18]
Maureen Callahan
We are back. We are back. And I okay. Best for last I think best for last before we dive into and just like that and Sarah Jessica Parker's Baby Jane Press Tour. This thing Again, it wound up in my Instagram feed and I got. Again, I got to thank Karen over at Meta because the content, it kind of writes itself. I found this and I was like, I can't believe this never occurred to anybody else to do before. It is. It is Sex and the City as seen through the point of view of Mr. Big. You guys again, Find the nearest ballast. Brace yourself. Hot liquids, cold liquids, put them down. We are going to watch this together. Let's go.
- [53:17]
Sarah Jessica Parker
Get it while it's hot. Well, laugh, joke.
- [53:25]
Maureen Callahan
This is Carriage is showing up unannounced at his house. Bonjour, any number of.
- [53:29]
Sarah Jessica Parker
Voila, voila le French fry.
- [53:34]
Maureen Callahan
He's out on the streets of Manhattan.
- [53:36]
Sarah Jessica Parker
I want to go to church with you and your mommy.
- [53:38]
Maureen Callahan
It's just a private little thing my mother and I do, just the two of us. She stops him. A church. Dropped a Bible. Isn't she adorable? She thinks it's. Hello.
- [53:54]
Sarah Jessica Parker
I would like to know how you could even think of going to Paris and not even think about discussing it with me.
- [54:00]
Maureen Callahan
Huh? Middle of the night call. I'm just saying I don't want you to uproot your life and expect anything. He throws the McDonald's against his walls. Hey, what are you. Again. He's out on the streets of New York. There she is. That was brilliant. That was always my reading of. Of that whole relationship that he was just killing time with this woman who is always available for him for sex, for dinner, for whatever, emotional support, for adulation. And he was always going to move on to someone like a Natasha, you know, and she was unhinged. She was a stalker. Like that whole Paris thing. He was basically saying to her, you don't mean anything to me. I'm making major life moves and I'm not even telling you about them. He did it to her again later in the series when he was moving to Napa. Again, scene of one of the worst puns ever committed. I will not repeat it. And I just repeated a bunch of Lena Dunham's dialogue to you, so never let it be said I don't have standards. Okay? Now, Lena's in the woodshed, but Sarah Jessica Parker's been around a lot longer, so she. She should know better. And she's going to the wood chipper. If the wood chipper were up and running right now, Sarah Jessica would be going in and what would be coming out is a Cosmo and a shredded tutu. Episode five, which aired while we were off. I just. A few notes. I'm just going to keep it very brief, the writers killed off the same character twice. They killed off Lisa Todd Wexler's father. Again, they did it like a season prior or two. I don't even know. That is such sloppy writing that, like, again, if I'm the head of hbo, Michael Patrick King is getting the spanking of his life. You know, I mean, that writer's room is getting overhauled, or, you know, we're just pulling the plug and we're going to do it in an indecorous way that's going to be at the level of the garbage that they are serving up to an audience that was once very loyal and whose loyalty they are frankly abusing and making a mockery of. Okay, and by the way, that scene where, you know, Nicole Ari Parker as Lisa is told that her dad is dead, cannot even squeeze a tear out. It's just terrible acting. And, you know, maybe she gave it all at the office the first time around. I don't know. The scene in which Carrie runs into Charlotte downtown buying adult diapers for her husband who has prostate cancer. And to those troublemakers who are like, you're being flip about prostate cancer. I never meant to be flip about it. You know, it's a 98% survival rate. I do get that, like, there are some that are harder to treat or discovered later. Again, my dad died of cancer. I would never make a mockery of it. But, you know, the idea that Charlotte would be downtown buying these by herself. Again, a woman this wealthy has household staff. A woman this wealthy is frankly just going to have have her assistant order it on Amazon or she'll do it herself to preserve her husband's dignity. And they will come in an unmarked box, same day delivery. Finally, there was an insult that the Lisa Todd Wexler character leveled towards her father's girlfriend not once, but twice. And it was that she was carrying a Michael Kors bag. And the insult is that Michael Kors is what non wealthy women consider a designer handbag. And that is just straight up snobbery. They were mocking her. They were mocking her. And that's. I hate. That's what I hate about the show. I hate it. Episode six, the Party from last week, per that troublemaker's great plea. Alex, about troublemaker Alex, can we talk about the Exorcist scene? We will, but first, Time magazine did some incredible stuff for us. They did what I wanted to do but could not bring myself to do, which was write down the voiceovers of Carrie's writing from her new novel, the Woman I guess is what it's called. And so we can evaluate whether it's any good or not, which is like, by the way. So she's got this hot British author living in her basement apartment and he's writing a doorsopper of Margaret Thatcher and he's like a really respected writer and she gives him her pages to read and he took tells her that they are amazing and that the first line is propulsive and the chapters are propulsive and none of that is true, number one. And number two, as someone who writes books, I can tell you your first readers always have something to say. They always have criticism. And you want it. You want it because you can't see it clearly. You just can't. And those people are invaluable. But in Carrie's world, because, again, Sarah Jessica has morphed with Carrie. Everything she does is perfect, including a first draft. And writers as venerable as, like the Flannery o' Connors of the world, the Ernest Hemingway's, have always said that their first drafts are for shit. And they are everybody's first drafts. Now, Carrie Bradshaw, sex writer for the local Penny Saver. Okay, now, the writing that we have thus far heard in Carrie's, I'm going to try to do it in Sarah's. Jessica's. CARRIE, voiceover. Because we're 900 years old, but we're a sprite. In New York City in 1846, the woman wondered what she had gotten herself into. Now the hot writer downstairs says, that line just stopped me in my tracks. If by that he means the banality of it, the creative writing 101 of it, sure. Okay, next we go to. Oh, my God, it's so terrible, you guys. Carrie's book. Sitting in the sunlight, the woman felt the fog of the last few nights lift. She realized her tossing and turning and insecurities were remnants of another time. This is a new house, she reminded herself, a new life. This wasn't her past. It was the present. May 1846. Now, again, the only thing we've seen Carrie do all season is, like, stomp around in her high heels and throw fits at people, you know? And if she were really a writer, we would see her at the New York Public Library in the archives, pulling periodicals from said era to learn about the issues of the day and what women were thinking about and what crime was like and what life was like and what class warfare was like. What the life, the woman, the unnamed woman Carrie hasn't dialed in yet. That this is her. This is some of the worst Writing I've ever come across, like, fictional as part of a piece of fiction Or. Or what? Like, this is some of the worst writing I've ever, ever, ever come across. And Sarah Jessica Parker fancies herself a literary lion. Okay? She has a publishing imprint. She's a big proponent of libraries, and she is, like, on the committee of, like, the Booker Prize or something. Like, she's judging other books. Like, if she thinks this is good writing, she should be removed from all of it. She should lose her publishing imprint and they should fire her from the book. Whatever. Okay? The woman threw open her windows to let the city. And she could hear the horses coming and going with their carriages, each one bringing an exciting possibility. Are they really? Because, like, sometimes horse and carriages would, like, carry dead bodies, you know, what the fuck? Okay. The unexpected cool breeze on this hot afternoon reminded her that each day need not be an echo of the one before. Those two thoughts don't track. A breeze is a reminder that each day might be different than the one. Like, none of that tracks it logically. There's no connective tissue. There are endless adventures to be taken if she simply dared to decide to take them. I mean, I don't. There wasn't. Like, unless she's an adventurer like Shackleton, a rich woman in New York City in 1846, her adventures are like extramarital affairs. It's like. It's stuff out of the Age of Innocence. It's Edith Wharton stuff. Just get a grip. Putting one foot in front of the other, she stepped off the expected path and vow to go wherever a day might take her. Okay? That is. That is writing that they would just. Her editor would be like, you know what? Burn it. Just burn it. Now she has violated just about, you know, my hero and Elmore Leonard. Just about every rule of writing that he laid down, and there are only 10. One, never open a book with weather. Another, don't go into great detail describing places and things. And finally, the most important one of all, try to leave out the parts that readers tend to skip. That would be everything. Okay, so the fight with Miranda in her kitchen. You know, Miranda takes note that during a party that Carrie through, which was overly lit. And again, she's got no furniture, so she's a terrible host. Like, if you don't have places for people to sit and congregate and soft lighting and an ambiance and music and all this stuff. Stuff. Don't have a party in your house to show off your money. Okay? Book a venue. Book a fancy restaurant. But no we all have to worship at the altar of Carrie Bradshaw, which is really. We're worshiping at the altar of sjp. So anyway, she's flirting very heavily with the hot British writer from downstairs. Flirting. They're drinking out of the same glass, which is such an intimate act. You're typically sexually intimate with somebody whose glass you're sharing. Okay? And Miranda in the kitchen after the party, they're having a bit of, like, a recap. And this is important because even the staging of the scene is really screwed up. Miranda is seated and Carrie is standing. And by the way, first Carrie is. Or is this after the fight? Like, she's sweeping up. This is the. This is the preciousness of Carrie. Slash, slash, slash. Sjp. God, my brain doesn't even want to get it out. Okay? She's, like, sweeping up these crumbs on her Old Fashioned, her Old Timey counter in, like, such a precious way. It's like I'm getting every little crumb. Look at me. Look at me. I'm just sweeping up every little cr. Every. It's like, pull out a Dyson hand vac. Take care of it. Okay? So anyway, Miranda says to Carrie, wow, it looks like you were really kind of vibing with that guy. Like, you know, it seems like. Like he's into you. And, like, that's fun. That's cool, right? And Carrie turns Full Exorcist per Alex. Full Exorcist. Like, her head starts spinning around. She's like, how dare you? How dare you say that? How dare you say that? And she's. She's. She says, you know, I am in a committed relationship with the guy who was just here, who I haven't talked to, who broke my window pane, who tried to break up with me, who just had sex with his ex wife. We are 20 years into a committed relationship. And it's like, 20 years in. I mean, she hasn't seen the guy in 20 years. It's total Baby Jane little. It's giving little. Edie. I heard from a lot of you who watched Gray Gardens too. I'm really psyched that that's in your lives, you know? And so Miranda immediately, like, apologizes and she's. Oh, my God. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. Now, as stated, if this were any, any, any approximation of the real world, none of these women would be in Carrie Bradshaw's life at this point. And let's say, for the sake of argument, a Miranda had been. And Miranda, again, is a lawyer, a very Successful one. She knows how to prosecute an argument. She would never. You would think a Miranda would never take that absolute, unspeakable treatment. Good friends of long standing should be able to have differences or challenge each other without speaking to each other in such deplorable ways. And we're gonna get to it, because Sarah Jessica was, like, pontificating about civility over on Nicole Wallace's insufferable podcast the other day. So, so much for civility. But that also made me think of Miranda versus Samantha and how much Kim Charles magic is missed on the show. Because I thought back to the Sex and the City days where Miranda was always the character, the one in the friend group who would confront Carrie on her delusions. Like, yeah, Big's really into you. You should keep going back to that well. Or, yeah, you know, it's a great idea. Give up your life and your career and everything you've built in New York to go run off to Paris and live the Russian's life. And, you know, but this is Kim Cattrall's genius. Samantha would. Would challenge Carrie, and then Carrie would spit back out like bile such as she did. Not that vociferously, but, you know, enough. And so Samantha's default position would always be whatever makes you happy. Whatever makes you happy. You know, because she knew it was a losing a battle to fight Carrie Bradshaw, just as Kim Cattrall surely knew it was a losing battle to deal with SJP in any meaningful way and has steered clear of this epic shit show that isn't just like that. So to Nicole Wallace, who, you know, again, like, is there anyone as insufferable as, like, an apostate, you know, who was like, she. You know, she. She says, like, I used to be a Republican and now I'm a Democrat, and I found my people. And again, we political here. I'm just talking about being an insufferable human. Her podcast is called the Best People, which in and of itself is divisive, you know, and she's so high on her own supply. Lady, you used to sit and take the shit from those idiots on the View. Stop. Just stop. You know, now she's over at msnbc, which is a sinking ship, and she's got Sarah Jessica on her show, and they fawn all over each other. So. And Nicole really drops any ounce. I don't listen regularly, actually. This is my first time seeing the podcast. I don't know how she normally comports herself, but over at msnbc, the talking heads over there, like, love to make people sure people know that they know celebrities and that they hang out with. Like, Lawrence o' Donnell is always like throwing pictures up of himself with like Martin Sheen. So calm down, okay? Like, we get it. You wrote for the West Wing, you know, Martin Sheen, like. Anyway, let's look at Nicole beginning this episode with sjp. I'm a big and just like that fan. I got to watch the new season and I asked Richard Pedler about Carrie and why, why she endures. And he said that, that she endures because of you. Okay, I'm gonna take that apart in three ways. First of all, Nicole says, I'm a big fan of him. Just like that. Nobody is a fan of and just like that, nobody. Secondly, the Richard Plepler name drop, without even contextualizing who that man is for her viewers, that is a name that only people in deep media or entertainment would know. He used to be the head guy at hbo. That's it. I think at the Sopranos final season when James Gandolfini was getting out of the hospital, he had a Dr. Plepler. And that was like a nod, a wink and a nod to Richard Plepler, who really championed the Sopranos over there. But I. That is the most obnoxious thing, you know, and that is, that is the whole thing. It's like people like Nicole Wallace are always so high on their like, like bonafides as like decent people who like politically only want the best for like the lessers of America. And then they go and do something like that. They drop Richard Plepler's name and then he's. And then she says, oh, and, and by the way, so like I have direct line to him because we converse just on the regular, you know, and oh, he says, Carrie exists because of you, which is like a double edged sword, right? It's like, yeah, she, she persists. Because this woman over here who's 61 years old will not let this charact. What am I going to do? It's Bruce Springsteen talking to Michelle Obama. What am I going to do? Play three hours. Okay, now here's Sarah Jessica Parker on voting.
- [70:29]
Sarah Jessica Parker
The reasons that I voted for the Kamala the Harris Walsh ticket. What mattered to me were things that I think actually affect all those women that I got who allowed me in their homes. Whether it's science and the way in which their mammograms are now looked at or schools and the way that either they were raised or can send theirs or there is a school or they teach in a public school and the way I look at it is that it affords opportunities, but I feel I want to be thoughtful in the ways in which I'm wielding this potential currency.
- [71:16]
Maureen Callahan
Sarah Jessica Parker never uses five words when she can employ 85. And, you know, she's talking about getting political and voting for Kamala Harris because of science. I. I get mammograms every year. I don't know what Kamala Harris has to do with my mammogram. And, like, women. And like, Tim. Tim Walls put tampons in boys bathrooms. Like, what is she talking about? I love it when actresses try to sound super smart. Now, before we get to this clip, I spared you this, but I'm going to inform you that Nicole had to slide in. You know, this is, I believe, the first time Sarah Jessica's been on her show, but she had to slide in that they text each other a lot. So, you know, again, like, they, they. They're above you. They're above you. You know, they text each other about politics because Nicole really cares what Sarah Jessica thinks. And you'll see why. Take a look at this.
- [72:25]
Sarah Jessica Parker
I really was so thoughtful about how I wanted to talk about the election because I think it turns into a distraction from a campaign. It turns into fodder. It's misunderstood. You have no control over it. And I think there are so many ways to work toward a more civil society than doing it. Like, sometimes I'll say when people are like, you've got to speak up on social media. I was like, FDR was elected without social media.
- [72:58]
Maureen Callahan
Okay? First of all, celebrity endorsements are a distraction. As we know, the Harris campaign was paying people like Oprah, Winfrey and Beyonce a ton of money to show up and endorse. So that's. So either she doesn't know that, or she's just being willfully. She's lying to you. And then she goes, fdr, he was elected without social media. FDR used the technology he had, which was radio, and was the first president to do those fireside chats in which he spoke directly to the electorate. Okay? That's the equivalent of social media today, you dummy. Okay? He also understood early technology called television as well as photography to conceal his need for a wheelchair. As I said before, vis a vis one. George Clooney, Edward R. Another one, is fused with his character. Technology changes, human beings do not. Now, Andy Cohen, you know, I call him a scalp collector. I know people like this. You, you know, there, if you live in a major city, you may know people like this. They just, they Just collect scalps and names. And it doesn't matter if they have anything in common with these people. It's just like, are you famous? This. Let's be friends. Anyway, so he's been really close friends with Sarah Jessica Parker for a very long time now. Now I think if I am a friend of Sarah Jessica Parker's, and again, if she's anything like Carrie Bradshaw, which I do believe they have fused in their body horror epic. She doesn't really have any good friends, female friends. Because I would say to her sister, you do not have a good radar for a certain kind of misogynist. And that is the gay male power misogynist who use their sexuality to masquerade as allies. Michael Patrick King. The rat scene alone, you know, Sarah Jessica talked about how she's terrified of rats. He wrote a scene for her where she was surrounded by rats. And, and, and, and letting Carrie become the absolute monster she has become. Misogynist. Andy Cohen, who. And I am a consumer of a lot of people, his product, you know, but life is complicated. Any fight that he stokes on a Housewives. Housewives, excuse me. Reunion, it's the same. Like, you can see, like, he'll. He'll do, like, the double eyebrow when, like, two women are getting into it. He'll be like, oh, oh, you called her. You called her a cunt. Yeah. You said she was a. Oh, my God. Great. You're gonna. You're gonna out her bankruptcy. You're gonna out her husband cheating on her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm licking my lips, my chops. You know, he hates women. He does. Just my opinion. Now, Andy, he fancies himself a culture vulture in the vein of Warhol. He's not. But, you know, he's a maven and a mogul. Now, if those things were true, if he were a true blue, real deal in the bones cultural commentator, critic, creator, he would recognize that in hosting Sarah Jessica Parker as his only guest on Watch what Happens Live on Sunday evening, that he had on his set and in his sights a true cultural terrorist. Okay, Andy Cohen, you have the cultural equivalent of Osama bin Laden in your den across from you, and you do not ask her to account for any other grievance than Carrie not furnishing her apartment yet. And by the way, Sarah Jessica bristled at that. She bristled at that. That. That little feather stroke of a question. He didn't ask her about Che Diaz, okay? He could have asked her about the absence of Samantha and that feud, and those two went mean girls on Kim Cattrall, years ago on that show, he could have asked her about why we were all subjected to Cynthia Nixon going full frontal, why they killed off the same character twice. But no, we got the furniture question. Okay? Now, when she, Sarah Jessica bristled at this, I think I was like, oh, there's an opening here in the aperture. Like, we did get a peek. Now, I think we've cracked a bit of this case into what animates the rage that fuels Sarah Jessica Carrie. Like, the rage. Like, if you think about the Carrie character as she's written now, she ostensibly has everything, you know, and she. All she has is rage. Like her. Her guiding emotion. And in watching this episode of Watch what Happens, I thought, this is coming from sjp. It's kind of akin to Michelle Obama's rage. Like, they're women of a certain age, same generation, and they have fame and fortune beyond their wildest dreams. I mean, Sarah Jessica Parker got the role of a lifetime and a lot of luck landing Carrie, okay? And I think she regards it as a curse now. I think she really resents it, and I'll tell you why. So Andy asked her about some of her cultural touchstones, like TV shows and movies that she'd done in the beginning of her career, like her teens and twenties. Like, Girls Just Want to have Fun, which is a really cute movie, or the cult show Square Pay, which was a great show, it lasted one season, but it was a really original show and so important to teenage culture. And she keeps coming back to Andy, who is fawning over her as one of her foot soldiers. She keeps coming back to him, and she says, well, it's not cinema. It's not cinema. So I'm like, oh, she's. She's. She's disappointed in herself. Like, she thinks that had it not been for Carrie Bradshaw, she might have had a career like a Meryl Streep, which she wouldn't have. Because if you go look at the Family Stone, which has. Is sort of a modern, classic holiday movie in which she stars as the fiance of the Dermot Mulroney character, she is playing Carrie Bradshaw. There are squeals, there are whispers there. You know, there's a brittleness, like a coil tightness, like she's Carrie. So she's saying to Andy, like, it's not. It's. I mean, it's not cinema. And then she goes, you know, it's not. And she's, like, searching for, like, a. A film, a movie that she considers, like, true cinema. And she goes, it's not my Left Foot. And in her searching for that and coming up with My Left Foot, which I believe was 1991 Daniel Day Lewis, I thought to myself, I wonder if this is really how far back her, her deep knowledge of film goes. Like, she's not Lena Dunham in the Criterion Collection, trying to hide behind a bunch of DVDs splayed out across her chest. But I thought to myself, like, if I were gonna go, it's not cinema and I'm starring in a, in a cultural just shit show that is. And just like that, but still it's about women. It's targeted to women. I would go, I would think of something like Now Voyager, which by the way, if you haven't seen Now Voyager, please add it to your list immediately. Bette Davis, I think it's 44. I'm not sure she plays. I'm gonna add it, I'm gonna add it. We're, we met last week about the Difficult Mother segment. And it's coming in a week or two, I promise, but it's going to be recurring. And the mother in Now Voyager, Betty Davis plays this woman, this adult woman who is under the thumb of an incredibly domineering mother. And someone in her world gets a therapist into her. This film was so ahead of its time and it's so absorbing and it feels modern. It's one of Bette Davis's greatest. And man, was she a great. Anyway, that's what I would have gone with, you know. And then, so Sarah Jessica claims that, like, as way too many actors do, that she does not pay attention to social media or to reviews or to the way her project is landing in the culture. I mean, maybe it's true. I mean, maybe it's the only way she maintains this level of delusion. I mean, he asked her about that hat, you know, that ridiculous, like, oversized Holly Hobby hat. It looks like whoever the milliner was like, is it milliner? Sorry, you know, was on acid making that hat. And she's like, it's a special piece. And that milliner is like, she's so humorless. Sarah Jessica, she's so humorless. She's always, always try. She's like, she's always trying to use. They used to say this about Sylvester Stallone in his heyday. It's like he'll use a 50 cent word when a 5 cent one will do. She's. It's so torturous getting an answer out of her because she's so, so precious and so like, self regarding and she can't Ever. Just loosen up. Just loosen up. You're talking about a show that is like ridiculous front to back. But anyway, okay, so she's explaining why she never watches. And just like that. And. And again, it's a very serious answer. Very serious answer. But before that, Andy says to her, hey, I heard this thing. Did you date Nicolas Cage once? Nicolas Cage, one of the most eccentric men in Hollywood. I've seen his. He bought this grave for himself in New Orleans. It's very famous and it's a trip, man. He's trying to unload it. It's not been going well. One of the most eccentric men in Hollywood. And she says, yeah, I did. And we get no follow up. No, I mean, come on. Come on, guy. Come on, Andy. That's a crime against the culture. You're going to the woodshed. We'll let you out. But like, you're going to the woodshed for at least a week. Okay, so here's Sarah Jessica very seriously, very seriously, explaining why she doesn't watch herself. You revealed on Howard Stern recently that you don't watch it just like that and that you didn't watch episodes of Sex and the City.
- [83:05]
Sarah Jessica Parker
Correct.
- [83:05]
Maureen Callahan
And the fans were upset about that. Right. Well, I wonder if that keeps you in the zone of being Carrie and maybe that's why you don't see it. Oh, yeah.
- [83:15]
Sarah Jessica Parker
I don't not watch it because I'm being. Being cavalier about.
- [83:20]
Maureen Callahan
Right.
- [83:21]
Sarah Jessica Parker
My relationship. I don't watch it because I don't. I don't love watching my work.
- [83:30]
Maureen Callahan
And there she speaks for us all. We don't love watching your work either. Perfect end. Perfect end to our first show. Back after a break. Thank you guys. Thanks for coming home. Thanks for coming back to the Nerve. We are going to see you back here on Friday and in the meantime, email me and let me know what you think of that idea for the mini. The rom com idea. Till then, my troublemakers. See you Friday on the Nerve, where you will never guess what we're about to say next. Road trips are all about the sights, the sounds, and the snacks. So pack the ultimate road trip fuel. Blue diamond almonds. This summer, they're your chance to win a new car. Buy any 12 ounce or larger bag. Enter the code@bdroadtrip.com and you could score thousands of prizes, including a new set of wheels. Hit the road with Blue Diamond. No Purchase necessary. End September 15th. Open to 50 US and DC 18 years or older. For rules including free entry method, visit bdroad trip.com Prohibited grand prize award is $50,000 cash via PayPal. This promotion is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by or associated with PayPal, Inc.