The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Episode: Meghan Markle Ignores Her Ailing Father, Goldie Hawn Gets Creepy, & Jack Schlossberg's Lame Campaign

Date: December 9, 2025
Host: Maureen Callahan
Guest: Kinsey Schofield (Royal Correspondent)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Nerve delivers Maureen Callahan's sharp, no-holds-barred take on three headline-grabbing stories: Meghan Markle’s alleged neglect of her ailing father, odd Hollywood red-carpet behavior (Goldie Hawn and Oliver Hudson), and Jack Schlossberg’s cringeworthy entry into politics. With frequent guest Kinsey Schofield, Maureen dissects cultural hypocrisy, royal drama, and Kennedy entitlement—all with her signature wit and irreverence.

Main Segments & Themes

1. Meghan Markle and Her Hospitalized Father

Guest: Kinsey Schofield joins for an in-depth emergency debrief
[05:00 – 23:23]

Maureen and Kinsey break down the saga of Meghan Markle’s father, Thomas Markle, who recently had his leg amputated and remains in a Philippine ICU while Meghan releases a Netflix holiday special and faces criticism for an apparent lack of contact.

Key Points:

• Unfortunate Timing: Meghan’s holiday special dropped just as news broke about her father’s hospitalization and amputation.
  • Maureen: “The fates call it karma, what have you. But justice does get meted out in this world.” [04:29]
• Questions of Authenticity and Compassion:
  • Meghan’s team initially claimed they were “fact-checking” the reports of Thomas’s illness, rather than offering concern or privacy requests.
  • Her team later told People magazine she had reached out, a claim disputed by Thomas and Samantha Markle.
• PR vs. Sincerity: Both hosts see Meghan’s actions as reactive to media pressure, not familial concern.
  • Kinsey: "How can a woman try to sell a family less holiday special while her lonely father is having body parts removed in a foreign country? It's actually a crisis PR team's worst nightmare." [08:40]
  • Maureen: “She is a reptile. She is a cold-blooded reptile masquerading as a human being.” [09:55]
• Harry’s Role & The Sussex Marriage:
  • Kinsey posits that Harry is now isolated, beholden to Meghan, and perhaps fearful of being discarded like those before him.
  • Kinsey: “If I were Harry, looking at this long string of people that she's discarded since I met her, I'm concerned about when I'm next.” [13:41]
• Speculation About Future Allegations:
  • Maureen speculates Meghan might later allege abuse to justify her estrangement.
    • Maureen: “My theory… is that when Thomas Markle does die, Meghan Markle… will claim… that Thomas Markle sexually abused her as a child and that's why she had to cut him off.” [16:31]
  • Kinsey points to Meghan’s pattern of “constantly rewriting her history,” referencing earlier public praise for her father.
  • Kinsey: “If her father was out there and… she gave him that credibility by standing next to him, he could tear down some of these stories that she's told over the last few years that we believe to be untrue.” [17:17]
• Basic Family Duty:
  • Maureen recounts personal stories of family care as contrast, concluding: “That's what you do for your parents when they're sick and ailing.” [21:07]
  • Kinsey notes: “The universe is trying to tell you something, Megan Markle, and we're not talking about the Rotten Tomatoes score, but that should be telling you something, too.” [22:01]

Notable Quotes:

• Maureen: “She is a spiritual reptilian.” [05:29]
• Kinsey: “She looks so heartless. She looks so detached. But I feel like we should expect that from her…” [11:10]
• Maureen: “This woman is a monster. And Harry would do, well, as you said, to take notes because he will be next.” [14:52]

2. Quick Hits: Hollywood News

Golden Globes & Hollywood’s Decline

[26:25 – 34:27]

• Maureen lampoons the Golden Globe nominations: “Who has even heard of half of these movies?” [26:25]
• Mocks specific titles and industry disconnect.
• Praises TV series "Adolescence" as the best thing she’s seen all year.

Goldie Hawn and Oliver Hudson’s Red Carpet Moment

• Calls out Goldie Hawn for behaving inappropriately affectionate with son Oliver at an event.
  • “She is comporting herself and touching him and gazing at him… as if she is the wife, as if she is the lover. … Our skin is crawling off of our bodies.” [27:59]

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: A New Read

• Shares her contrarian take on the classic holiday special, positioning Rudolph as victim of abuse rather than the “feel-good” outcast.
  • “The other reindeer are assholes and so is Santa Claus… Santa nor Mrs. Santa Claus will do anything to really intervene…” [30:49]

3. Listener “Troublemaker” Feedback

[34:44 – 41:06]

• Reads and responds to audience emails, including takes on Meghan Markle, cultural trends, and recommendations.
• Shares a listener’s story about advising a foster youth not to read “Let Them Theory” thanks to The Nerve.
• Nominates Camille Paglia as “Troublemaker Emerita” and discusses the impact of original thinkers.

4. Jack Schlossberg’s Lame Campaign

[44:58 – 59:08]

Maureen delivers a scathing critique of Jack Schlossberg, JFK’s grandson, running for Congress in New York.

Key Points:

• Entitlement & Incompetence:
  • “He is a Kennedy. Give it to me. That’s what it is.” [48:38]
  • Notes lack of job experience, lists "never had a real job,” lived in “rarefied, rarefied worlds.”
• Campaign Gaffes:
  • Points out his campaign manager quitting after three weeks.
  • Mocks his rehearsed, boilerplate responses and lack of substance—“If you can't articulate it in 30 seconds or less, I'm not ambling over to your website.” [51:25]
  • Spotlights his ignorance about public housing struggles in NY: “Jack has just learned that poor people… have no recourses…” [52:54]
• Social Media Mishaps:
  • Calls out childish TikTok skits and attempts at humor relating to serious topics.
• Mockery of the Kennedy Legacy:
  • Highlights pattern of Kennedy women (Caroline) seeking office by entitlement.
    • Maureen: “She says… when I was thinking about it in my own head, as opposed to where Caroline, really where...” [57:16]
• General Disdain:
  • “He only cares about power for power’s sake. Trust me, this guy don't give a shit.” [54:39]
  • “He clearly hates women. And so if you're a woman and you're considering voting for this guy, think again. Really? He hates women now, you want to know where he gets this from? From, you know… Mommy.” [56:02]

Notable Quotes:

• Maureen: “Aside from just that being ridiculous, he clearly hates women. And so if you're a woman and you're considering voting for this guy, think again. Really. He hates women.” [56:02]
• Maureen: “Keep going, Kennedys, keep going. It's, it's amazing content and I love not. I love an excuse to talk about ask not and all of the women that your family has destroyed.” [57:16]

Memorable Moments & Quotes with Timestamps

• "She is a spiritual reptilian." – Maureen Callahan [05:29]
• "How can a woman try to sell a family less holiday special while her lonely father is having body parts removed in a foreign country?" – Kinsey Schofield [08:40]
• "She is a reptile. She is a cold blooded reptile masquerading as a human being." – Maureen Callahan [09:55]
• "If I were Harry, looking at this long string of people that she's discarded since I met her, I'm concerned about when I'm next." – Kinsey Schofield [13:41]
• "The universe is trying to tell you something, Megan Markle…" – Kinsey Schofield [22:01]
• "She is comporting herself and touching him and gazing at him… as if she is the wife, as if she is the lover." – Maureen Callahan on Goldie Hawn [27:59]
• "The other reindeer are assholes and so is Santa Claus…for abiding all of their bullying bullshit." – Maureen Callahan [30:49]
• "He is a Kennedy. Give it to me. That’s what it is." – Maureen Callahan [48:38]
• "He clearly hates women. And so if you're a woman and you're considering voting for this guy, think again." – Maureen Callahan, re: Jack Schlossberg [56:02]

Tone and Style

Brash, irreverent, deeply skeptical, and sharply critical, especially toward hypocrisy, privilege, and performative compassion. Maureen and her guest Kinsey keep the conversation lively, unfiltered, at times biting, and consistently engaging for listeners tired of media “niceness.”

Key Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|---------------| | Meghan Markle & Thomas Markle deep-dive | 05:00–23:23 | | Golden Globes/Hollywood/Goldie Hawn | 26:25–34:27 | | Listener Feedback | 34:44–41:06 | | Jack Schlossberg/kKennedy Take-down | 44:58–59:08 |

Summary

Maureen Callahan’s The Nerve tackles timely scandals with smart, witty, and brutally honest commentary. This episode’s focus is firmly on perceived moral failures—by Meghan Markle with her estranged, ailing father, by Hollywood's “creepy” social norms, and by political entitlement embodied by Jack Schlossberg. Listeners new to the podcast will get a clear sense of Maureen’s “troublemaker” ethos, distaste for superficiality, and commitment to saying the things others won’t.

Perfect for listeners who:

• Want sharp, unapologetic commentary on pop culture and the royals.
• Enjoy breakdowns of hypocrisy in public figures.
• Appreciate a podcast that holds feet to the fire—regardless of status or celebrity.

Next Episode:
Promised: “The Nerve at Night”—an after-dark look at the Golden Globes headlines, with Rob Shooter.

(Catch up or subscribe via TheNerveShow.com for more behind-the-scenes and bonus material.)