← The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
Oprah's Maui Roadblock Denial, Katy Perry’s New Romance, and Jamie Lee Curtis' Genocide Claim
01:31:15
Maureen conducts a total takedown of Oprah Winfrey's elitist behavior as locals scramble during an emergency evacuation on Maui. With her reputation already on life support, Oprah's PR team ends up in a tailspin, as stories surface on social media that she refused to open her private road as the Tsunami was fast approaching. Maureen rips into her and her army of sycophants who enable her. She also takes a closer look into the romance rumors swirling around Katy Perry and Former Canadian PM Justin Trudeau and then goes all in on Jamie Lee Curtis' recent stance on beauty standards, calling plastic surgery 'genocide.' Morning Kick: Watch his method by clicking the link in the description box here: https://chuckdefense.com/Nerve American Financing: Call American Financing today to find out how customers are saving an avg of $800/mo. 866-885-1332 or visit https://www.AmericanFinancing.net/Nerve - NMLS 182334, https://nmlsconsumeraccess.org Beverly Hills MD Wrinkle Filler: Watch Dr. Lay...
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- [00:00]
Maureen Callahan
Ready to rack to school and save big. Get to your Nordstrom Rack store today for thousands of deals from just $20. Cause I wanna look fresh. How did I not know rack has Adidas? I got a new backpack. Score. Everyone's favorite denim sneakers, boots and activewear from Nike, Levi's, Steve Madden, Madewell and free people. Great brands, great prices. Everyone's got a reason to rack. Shop Nordstrom Rack and make it the best school year ever. Not all meals are created equal. For instance, breakfast has the spicy egg McMuffin for a limited time and lunch doesn't McDonald's breakfast first. Hello and welcome to your Friday edition of the Nerve. Hubble Bubble, Toil and trouble, Troublemakers. And that is per Paul from New Zealand's request. And I'm kind of liking it as a regular intro. We have so much for you today. We have Oprah and the Maui controversy. This is her second in a few years in Maui, so she's really outdoing herself as perhaps America's most out of touch terrible billionaire, which is saying something. We are also going to talk about the sudden heartbreaking death of Malcolm Jamal Warner last week. We are going to get into your emails, the tip line that we are figuratively opening regarding one Meghan Markle. We have more celebrity plastic surgery lies. We're looking at you, Jamie Lee Curtis, trying to make the women of America feel less than you. It's going to end the other way around when we're done with her over in the woodshed. We've also got a book recommend that's going to be over on the Mini. By the way. We will, we will tease the Mini at the end of the show and yeah, it's a lot. So let's get into it. If you've ever wondered what happened to, you know, these, these huge stars who are in our lives forever and then they just disappear and you go like, what happened to that guy? Chuck Norris is, is one of them. And I recently saw a video he made that really surprised me. This guy is in his 80s and he is still working out and staying active. And what's even more surprising is that he is stronger and working out longer than he seems to ever have. And then he's got plenty of energy left over for his grandkids. I mean, Chuck says he did this by making one change and he says he still feels now like he is in his 50s. And his wife started doing it too. And she says she has never felt bad that she feels 10 years younger. Her body looks leaner, she has energy all Day. So Chuck has made a special video that explains everything. If you're interested, go on over to chuckdefense.com nerve or by clicking on the link below this video, it might change the way you think about your own health. And you won't believe how simple it is. Troublemakers to the woodshed with one Oprah Winfrey. If the nerve had not been born by now, this story would have been. We would have had to induce labor. We would have had to induce Oprah and the Maui Emergency. Now, on Tuesday night here in the States, the federal government issued a tsunami warning after one of the biggest earthquakes ever recorded. An 8.8 magnitude quake off of a far east part of the Russian peninsula. It threatened. Of a Russian peninsula far east. You got threatened both Japan and Hawaii. This was the biggest earthquake since the 2011 one that caused the tsunami in Fukushima and the subsequent nuclear meltdown. Now in comes Oprah, who has a $100 million estate in Maui that spans a reported 1,000 acres with its own private road, a road that was sealed off as terrified residents followed the tsunami warning with public sirens going off to evacuate and seek higher ground. Now, I'm just going to begin by saying I think we really need to reassess private roads. I don't think private roads that double as coastal evacuation routes should be privatized. Now, Oprah's people say that legally she doesn't own the road, that it's an easement. And I'm sorry, in this case, those are semantics. My opinion, semantics. If a super wealthy celebrity is able to choke off access and egress points to any given road, there needs to be some protocol in place. If said billionaire owner is too busy getting her shoelaces tied by her platonic friend Gail at the Bezos wedding or swatting around with self help gurus. Self help gurus? You know, she's got residents of Maui begging her on social media. Hey, lady, open your road. We're dying to get out of here. We're doing what the government is telling us to do. She's busy in the self help lane. I mean, the irony, or worse as we'll get to, we'll get to what she's been up to just this week. Okay, and seriously, why the private road to the thousand acre estate? What's going on over there? I. My theory of the case is she and Gail buried Stedman's body long ago on that estate. I mean, really, where is he? I think I, I've said it before. I think we need a wellness check on Stedman either Maui, the estate in Montecito, whatever real estate she's still got in Chicago, who knows? Who knows? You know, it's very, it's all very. Again, I say, I say it all the time with Oprah. It's dark. She's dark. Now, Oprah, of course, has denied that her road was ever closed and the mainstream media is dutifully acting like the handmaidens they are, the toothless, spineless handmaidens they are, and reporting whatever Oprah says as gospel, despite multiple real time social media posts to the contrary. I'll cite just a few. The Guardian on Wednesday, July 30, headline, quote, no, Oprah Winfrey didn't block access to a road in Hawaii amid tsunami warning evacuations. I mean, legally, I could take that apart. Did Oprah Winfrey bodily block access to that road? Of course not. She was off somewhere with Gail doing whatever they do. People magazine, July 30, 5:51 Eastern Time. This is published, Oprah Winfrey opens her private road in Maui. Well, when and how many hours elapsed and how far did traffic back up in that time and how many people were at risk? I mean, it's People magazine, of course, so there's no mention at all of any of the claims to the contrary, which we will see with our own eyes and listen to with our own ears. And then you tell me, is this a private road or not? E. Online July 30, 2:32pm so I'm going to guess that's Pacific time, which would be 5:32 on the east coast, quote, Oprah Winfrey opens her private road for evacuees again. When, how long did it take? Who got through to the great and good Oprah Winfrey or her assistant or whomever her chief of staff is. You know, she's got a chief of staff like Michelle Obama, probably as a chief of staff. Staff, no, personal assistant. That's, that's for amateurs. The lead of this story, Oprah Winfrey, is doing her part to help. By the way, we got news this week that E. News is dead. The the E. Is owned by NBC Universal. I think it's been on for at least 25 or 30 years. It was, I think it was like a nightly wrap up of celebrity and SHOWBIZ News and they're pulling the plug. Finally, they're taking it out back and this kind of reportage is exhibit A as to why and these good riddance, by the way. We'll get to that later in the show. Now to the real Time reports on social media from, you know, regular people trying to flee. First, I want to take a look at this video posted 2x.
- [08:52]
Paul
I think they're trying to open Oprah's road. Come on, Oprah. This is a guy road to all the way up country, bro. All the way up country. She got it all to herself and everybody trying to get in. Cops trying to open it. Nope, still closed.
- [09:15]
Maureen Callahan
Man.
- [09:17]
Paul
She got her own road from Wailea all the way up country, which is the safe zone. And she won't even save us. I don't know that. But road's still closed. People are still passing it, and we're still stuck.
- [09:33]
Maureen Callahan
Stuck. There are cops there. You can see them.
- [09:36]
Paul
I have an hour and a half until it hits. So we're getting there. And I'm still in Kie Kalui is.
- [09:46]
Maureen Callahan
An hour and a half. That's a safe zone. And you can tell, like, everybody's so smart now. It's like he's saying, well, I don't know that. So, like, legally, she can't come after him. This is just a regular guy in a car trying to get to a safe place with a tsunami warning in effect. It's unbelievable. And she has the gall to say she didn't. That road wasn't closed. It was never closed. And then these idiots in the mainstream media are like, well, we're just Oprah's royal court stenographers. You know, this goes beyond a celebrity story, the way it's framed and packaged and pushed into the culture. It's a celebrity story about what a celebrity did or didn't do. No, no, no. This is a public safety story. And a rules for the not for me story. That's what this is. You think Oprah's gonna face even so much as a fine over this shit? Get out of here. Okay, next. This was reported by realtor.com the date of the story. Again, July 30, 2025. So her spokesperson in according to this article, issued a statement after fans took to X. Fans. These aren't fans. These are evacuees. Again, you got to look at everything. Everything means something. Fans. Who's a fan of Oprah at this point? Are you kidding me? Took to X, formerly known as Twitter, to claim that the star had yet to open her road and slammed her for, quote, refusing to open the road. One social media user said, and I quote, people on Maui, Hawaii, trying to escape the tsunami are begging Oprah to open her private road to higher ground, and she is still refusing. You can see on the screen. If you're listening to this episode, I would encourage you to go to the YouTube channel and watch it because you'll see the map where Oprah's road, excuse me, is marked in blue and it goes from one end to the other. And trust me, I live in an area on Long Island. It's narrow and narrow and narrow. It's a one road in, one road out, two lane highway situation. It's terrifying if you're trying to get out. You know, rush hour can feel like, you know, last train out of Berlin. Now this user also says and it's a user, not a fan. A would be evacuate not a fan. Realtor.com the only other route to higher ground is the red route and it's gridlocked. Open the road from Wailea, Maui. Government should force it open if they have to. Yes, yes and yes. What does she own the government there? Are they all in her pocket? Here is a comment left on a deadline report from the user named Joseph. I'm going to try Kamahamma. Forgive me sir, if I if I've mispronounced it. July 30, 2025, 5:51am Joseph says it's true that Maui Police Department released an advisory that Opers Road could be used by coastal Hawaiians to get up country. It is not true, not true in all caps that when local Hawaiians tried to use this route that it was open. It was not open. It was closed and guarded. When people tried to take photographs, security took their phones. Oprah rules portions of Maui like the mafia. Except the mafia would have left the road open. Indeed another. Now Snopes is reporting. Snopes is the website that is the place they hold themselves up as apolitical, completely disinterested, nonpartisan, in nobody's pocket. They are after the truth in reporting. Snopes is reporting that at least one of those social media posts was shared at around 4:30pm Hawaii Standard Time. And that quote per Maui county tsunami alert on July 29 for 7pm Hawaii Standard Time published at 7:16pm Winfrey's road was open for the public to use. So that seems to me just my opinion to be the truth that the road was choked off to regular tax paying citizens of Maui, citizens who had been ordered to evacuate and were doing the responsible thing because then you don't have to worry about first responders trying to find survivors of a tsunami. Oprah. So it was choked off for about two and a half hours. Okay. So either Oprah didn't respond for Two and a half hours. Or it took two and a half hours to get to her, or she just didn't give a shit for two and a half hours. And finally enough pressure was brought to bear where she was like, fine. The great unwashed can traverse through my private road to save their own lives. Okay, here's the thing. The larger takeaway, I think. And this is going to elude Oprah, and it will till her last breath. She should be worried, and she's not, because she's Oprah. She's the great and mighty Oprah with her billions of dollars and her podcast and her famous friends and her lapdog Gail. But this is how far her reputation has fallen. If you had told Oprah or any of her fans, her millions of fans in America who made this woman wealthy beyond her wildest dreams, who really loved Oprah, that this is who she would become, no one would have believed you. Most people now believe the absolute worst about Oprah, as they should. Her reputation, you know, it's not in the toilet. It's not even in the gutter. It is an entire Superfund site. And for those of you outside the United States, allow me to explain. The governmental designation is reserved for a site where so much hazardous waste has been deposited that it constitutes a direct threat to public health and safety and possibly causing, per New York State's definition, quote, irreversible or irreparable damage. These are the kind of sites that cause cancer. And that's Oprah. Now for a refresh of how she handled her adopted hometown of Maui after the devastating wildfires in 2023. Let's take a look at this.
- [16:30]
Gail King
We were so concerned about what was happening in Maui that we were texting back and forth. And I read this article that Dolly Parton had given money in her community, and I said, I think this is the answer. You said, I think that's the answer.
- [16:45]
Paul
I said, I love it.
- [16:46]
Gail King
And so we have created the People's Fund of Maui that will put money directly in the hands of the people who need it right now. So if you send a donation, just click where you see below.
- [17:00]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, we can stop right there. You can just stop it. It's enough. We get the point. Now before I get into the obscenity of a billionaire like Oprah panhandling for money. Look at that. If you look at that clip on Tik Tok, the social media clip. Oh. Now Maui has been burned to the ground. It's still smoldering while she's posted that video. She is in Full professional hair and makeup. She has been styled to within inch of her life. She is in a setting that can only be described as looking like paradise. The lighting is exquisite. The blue of that sky is just. It's an obscenity to the people who really suffered. Now she would have you believe that she just happened to hop on social media. Not so. And then she has the gall to tell people that they should donate to a fund that she and the Rock have begun to help people who've lost everything. She's a billionaire and she's asking average hard working people to dig into their dwindling bank accounts. You know, Oprah can just off. She can just all the way off. Now, she rightly got a lot of backlash for that little stunt. You know, she thinks she's a. She thinks she's God. That's the problem. I don't know any of you who are around when Oprah, she went away for like a season. No, it was like her hiatus, whatever. But when she hit, like when she hit her cultural apex, it was the worst thing that could have happened to her. She came back one season and she had decided, you know, Oprah used to traffic in the stuff that like Sally Jesse Raphael and Jerry Springer trafficked in. It was a lot of tabloid trash. It was a lot of who's the daddy stuff. Now she then decided she was going to come back and she was the new enlightened Oprah and she was only going to be doing positive stories. And her entire credit sequence was like Oprah as a beatific saint, like a deity. And she was so high on her own supply, she even sang her own theme song. I mean, that was it. Like, that was the moment Oprah left planet Earth. Okay? Now she gets a ton of backlash for this. Tone deaf doesn't even begin to describe that obscenity. And so what does she do but scamper over? Scamper, scamper, scamper. This was pre Ozempic. I'm just gonna be a bitch about it. Cause I fucking hate Oprah. She scampered over to her platonic pal Gail over at the unwatchable CBS Mornings show, where she was surely not only given the questions in advance, but it was all gamed out beforehand. And Gail and Oprah and their crisis managers sat around figuring out how to address this monster in the room, this elephant. But not before she's shilling another bullshit self help book about how to find happiness. Okay, she's gonna tell us how to find happiness. A woman who can't open her Road to people fleeing a soon. Like, that's not a happy person. Seriously, if you want to know about trying to find happiness or some like, read the ancient Romans. Read the ancient Greeks. Do not turn to the likes of Oprah and Gail and now Hoda. And a whole bunch of them are going to be taken apart in the fall because there's more books like that coming out. Anyway, Oprah goes on with this Harvard researcher named Arthur C. Brooks. And I really tried to cut the Gail intro a little bit tighter, but Gail does this really. She's got this annoying habit in which she has sentences run on into each other. So, like, you can't really chop her up. And I wonder if it's a deliberate thing just to, like, hog camera time and just hog everything about the show. Cause she hogs that show. Now, Oprah calls this book. I didn't even write the title down. Cause I don't even wanna give it the oxygen. But it was born during the pandemic. And Oprah decided she was gonna stop doing research and start doing me. Search. Here we go. We're gonna begin this hour with Oprah. There's only one. In her new book, she shares her wisdom about the secrets to greater happiness. According to a recent survey. Listen to this number. Only 25% of Americans say they are very happy. What? To find out what that means to be happy, Oprah collaborated with Brooks, a Harvard professor who studies and teaches the science of happiness. I want to know what the C stands for. Arthur Brooks. Their book is called Build the Life youe the Art and Science and Getting Happier. In It. They share practical advice on how to change your life for the better. Oprah and Arthur C. Brooks. What does the C stand for? The C stands for Charles. I don't know why I put it.
- [21:41]
Gail King
In there, but there you go.
- [21:42]
Maureen Callahan
Well, it stands out. What does the C stand for? Who gives a. And do your research. Have one of your assistants wiki the guy. And she's, like, adjusting her dress. And she's just such a. Such a mess. Okay, now we're gonna go into Gail pretending she hasn't asked Oprah these things a million times. And you know how Gail has a job again? This is why network news is dying. Let's go.
- [22:09]
Gail King
At the end of every show, I would sit with the audience and I would have conversations with them. It was my own focus group for 25 years. And I would always ask people, what do you really want? What do you really want? And people would always say, I just want to be happy.
- [22:29]
Maureen Callahan
I don't believe a word of that. You know why? Because I've heard from a lot of you troublemakers who have been when Oprah was doing her show in Chicago, went to her show and said uniformly the same thing. And you can find reports like this online, too. When the cameras went on, Oprah was Oprah and she was fun and engaging and warm and relatable and interacting with her audience. The cameras go down, Oprah, she goes down. That's it. And at least one of you told me that before a show, Oprah toddled out to the stage barefoot or whatever, wearing hose. And she had a lackey putting her shoes on for her. So I don't think she's sitting around having a coffee clotch with America's housewives, asking them what they want or even giving a shit. If she can't monetize it again, look to the private road. Okay, now to the Maui wildfires.
- [23:29]
Paul
Oprah, I want to shift gears a little bit and turn to the Hawaii wildfires and the efforts to help those in need. The People's Fund of Maui was created by you and Dwayne the Rock Johnson in which you both poured time, effort and millions to kick it off yourselves.
- [23:45]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, so that is house cleaning. That's somebody else cleaning up Oprah's mess and framing this question as a factual statement that Oprah had spent a ton of time and energy coming up with a way to help the people of Maui. And let's not forget all of you people out there who are angry, and you are right to be angry that Oprah put a few mil in there. You know, that is change in the couch cushions to her. Okay, so let's go on with this brain trust over at CBS Mornings.
- [24:19]
Paul
Yet and still.
- [24:21]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, I had to stop that right there and pull out yet and still. That guy should have corrected himself on the spot and said yet or still. And this is important too, because this is the bridge that we're going to get from Oprah. You are so well intentioned and you did all of this stuff out of the goodness of your own heart. And yet and still is the bridge is the bridge. Excuse me, I hit the mic by accident. I'm so worked up over this is the bridge to why are idiots out there who are just jealous of your fame and your wealth, why are they still upset? Why don't you, Oprah, take this opportunity to school them yet again in how misguided they are and how stupid they are and how they should shut up and just worship at your feet? Let's Go, go.
- [25:17]
Paul
It faced online criticism. I want to give you the opportunity to kind of give your thoughts on that.
- [25:23]
Gail King
Well, this is a really great point about being happier in the midst of an onslaught of being terrorized and vilified online.
- [25:37]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, there are a couple of things right there. It's a great lesson in being happier. So what are we doing if we're not pivoting back to our sales pitch? Get this book on the bestseller list. And then Oprah moves from how to be happier to how she was terrorized and vilified online. These celebrities who are out of their minds with power and fame, they're drunk on it. They employ words that they have no business employing. Terrorized. What are you. What are you a survivor of being held hostage by like, the Houthis? You were terrorized? What are you talking about? We're gonna get back to this. There's another A list star who just used the word genocide completely inappropriately. And off to the woodshed she goes to. All right, let's finish this up.
- [26:30]
Gail King
I will say this. I came out of this experience. I was just saying this to Arthur this morning with so much more compassion for young kids. Because I was thinking, what if I didn't really know who I am? What if I didn't have the assurance of invictus that I am the master of my own fate?
- [26:48]
Maureen Callahan
Well, first of all, it's great that this all happened. It's great the wildfires happened because you know what? It helped Oprah self actualize. She doesn't even hear herself. And then she, she, she. She segues into young kids. Leave young kids out of your story. They have nothing to do with it. But let's come back to Oprah and her greatness because it gave her her invictus. It gave her the realization that she is the master of her own fate. And she was up until Ozempic came along. In comes Gayle to help.
- [27:21]
Gail King
And the captain of my soul, if you would.
- [27:22]
Maureen Callahan
It would have taken you down.
- [27:24]
Gail King
It would have taken. It will take you out. So all of the online, you know, being slander and slammed attacks, attacks, lies, conspiracy theories really took the focus off of what was the most important thing. And that was the people of Maui.
- [27:42]
Maureen Callahan
No, no and no. We can hold two thoughts or multiple thoughts in our heads at the same time. Nobody forgot the people of Maui. They were rightfully angry at the likes of you. And the words that her lackey across the stage is used, Slander. What's slanderous about that? We all just watched that video. We all know how much Oprah has in her bank account because she's never sick of showing it off. Slander, lies, conspiracy theories. I'm such a victim. But I'm the master of my own fate. This is a woman who wanted to run for president. Okay, now notice that in that entire. I don't even have words for it, there was not an apology uttered. Not a single apology. And that's Oprah. She's never sorry because she's always right. Now, the Rock gave one. Was it genuine? I don't know, but at least he gave one. Let's take a look.
- [28:42]
Paul
I also want to take a moment to acknowledge all the messages that I did receive because I pay attention to everything and I take receipts, I keep receipts. Is when we first launched the fund, there was some backlash that came with launching the fund. And I want to address and acknowledge that backlash right now. And here's what I have to say about that. I get it and I completely understand. And I could have been better. And next time I will be better. And I understand. You know, money ain't falling out of the sky and it's not growing on trees and there's a lot of people out there.
- [29:15]
Maureen Callahan
He says this from his compound, by the way, which we can see.
- [29:17]
Paul
And I get it. And I know what that's like. I've lived paycheck to paycheck, seven bucks. I know. I know what that's like. And when you are on the page, that's enough.
- [29:25]
Maureen Callahan
Listen, that's just a lesson in how I would I have done that. Like standing in front of an Olympic sized pool with, you know, well tended to vegetation and trees. Again, as my city is smoldering. No, I probably would not. I do it from a bunker in an undisclosed location. But hey, at least he issued an apology. At least he ended it with lesson learned, you know, and showed that he can eat some humble pie. And I'm sure he had an army of agents and managers encouraging him to do so. But nonetheless, he did it. And, you know, we all know humble pies. If there's one thing Oprah will not eat, that's it. That's the only thing that is not allowed on her menu. So, no, instead, Oprah has fully embraced garbage, plastic people and, you know, as they say, show me your friends and I'll show you who you are. Or I'll tell you who you are. So let's take a look at this atrocity. Gayle King's Instagram account is really such an embarrassment. And again, I don't understand How CBS brass decided this was a talent, let alone a talent worth re upping here. We're going to take a look at a video that Gail posted to Instagram this week of her with Oprah with Tyler Perry and Kris Jenner. I don't think you can see Kris Jenner here, but she's in all the pictures with them dancing in a circle like assholes at Beyonce's final show and then posting it again to Instagram to shove the amazing time they're having in everyone's faces. I swear, I swear, each one of these people is emotionally eight years old. It is so gross. It is. So let them eat cake. It is Oprah cozying up to Lauren Sanchez and getting likes. You know who liked that post? Amy Griffin. I've got some emails from you guys with some really great intel we're going to get to in a bit. And again, you know, Oprah says she's a survivor of sexual abuse. How could she be cozying up to a woman whose memoir is full of holes, Just full of holes. And possibly, you know, there's a real guy she's accusing here. You know, Oprah, all she cares about is money. She cares about money, she cares about fame. She cares about the cool kids in Hollywood, you know, wanting to hang out with her. The Kris Jenner's of the world. Are you kidding me? You know, Oprah fancies herself an intellectual. You cannot be running around with the likes of Kris Jenner, Gayle King and be a public intellectual. And finally, I just want to say Gail is an astronaut. I have to pay my respects as a fellow fellow astronaut. But I didn't notice this. Our producer Marlena noticed this because she doesn't miss a trick. And Gail's Instagram photo, her bio, her photo for her bio is. You gotta look at it, look at it. If you're watching, obviously it's right here on the screen. Or you can just go pull up, pull up her account on your phone if you're listening there. Okay, it's, it's Gail in her spacesuit. And it's, it's a close up of her face. I mean, you can see the suit under her neck. But she's looking really distraught. It's that moment before she gets on. And you can tell she's thinking to herself, like, what the, what the did I just do? I'm going to die up there. There's no way she manages that page. There's no way she manages her Instagram page. And whoever's doing it fucking hates her. Hates her. And you know, so Marlena said, how is that person not fired? How is the person who manages Gail's Instagram page not fired? To which I said, well, I think it's hard to reach Gail because her head is like always up one of aura's, Oprah's orifices. She's not taking your calls. She's otherwise occupied. So anyway, Gail wrote underneath that carousel that or that video that ended with those people pretending to do like a circular hoedown. I don't know anybody that can remain seated when Beyonce sings Texas Hold'. Em. Everybody's on their feet whether you can dance or not. Exclamation point. This was one of the highlights of the last night of the Cowboys Carter tour. And there were many. Exclamation point, exclamation point. And right underneath was one of my absolute favorite comments. Why won't you allow those living in Hawaii to use your private road to get up the mountain to safety? Oprah Winfrey forevermore at the Nerve designated a toxic Superfund site. And no amount of Ozempic will make that disappear. I feel a huge catharsis. I hope you do too. It was really cathartic. Coming up, we have some celebrity updates and a tribute to someone we lost far too early last week. And then some lighter stuff, including your email. Back in a minute. What if you could delay your next two mortgage payments? That's right. Imagine putting those two payments in your pocket and finally getting a little breathing room. It's possible when you call American Financing today. If you are feeling stretched by everyday expenses, groceries, gas, bills piling up, you are not alone. 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- [35:57]
Unknown
Hi, we're Emoji Health, your long term weight loss solution. We'll connect you with a board certified provider to discuss your unique goals. Eligible patients can Access custom formulated GLP1 medications at an affordable fixed price delivered to their door monthly. Take our free eligibility quiz@joinmochi.com and use code AUDIO40 at checkout for $40 off your first month of membership. That's join mochi.com results may vary. Eligible GLP1 patients typically lose one to two pounds per week in their first six months with Mochi when combined with a healthy lifestyle.
- [36:31]
Maureen Callahan
We are back. This reminds me, I want to put an all points bulletin out. If there are saboteurs in Camp Gayle King, email me. DM me saboteurs or troublemakers in Camp Oprah Winfrey, Trust me, we protect our sources like your CIA, you know, come to me. Also our figurative tip line for Meghan Markle Intel. I am specifically looking for tips as to what happened to her dog guy who wound up reportedly with two broken legs while with Meghan and Harry and wound up in a cast on each leg for months, I think, and her disposal of dogs reportedly allegedly. I was on Kinsey's show earlier this week and that came up and Kinsey said we should look into it at the Nerve and I think we should. So you guys know where to find me. I'll give you the rundown the end of the show just in case. First up, I wanted to address, you know, we talked about Ozzy last week and Hulk and I didn't get to Malcolm Jamal Warner. And I think it was partly just the shock of it and the tragedy of it and just it seems so unnecessary. You know, he drowned accidentally in Costa Rica last week in a rip current. Now there were conflicting reports. Initial reports, initial reports said he was in the ocean with his eight year old daughter. And later reports said his daughter was not in the water and he was swimming with a friend. But either way he, he was caught in a rip current and he panicked and he drowned. And this stuff just breaks my heart because this happens all too often. And I, I come from a seaside town. It wasn't a fancy town, but it was a coastal town and I go back there a fair amount. It's Long Beach, New York and just the other night three people were pulled out of the water. They were on the jetties but like in the, in the deeper part of the ocean and they needed first responders to come get them and two of them are hospitalized. They went in, they went in the water after the lifeguards left. And then the week before, eight swimmers had to be pulled out. Same location, different beaches Five separate incidents after life guard hours. And then I was reminded of all the other celebrities who have drowned. Naya Rivera from Glee drowned in front of her small son, Jeff Buckley. Initially, they thought that was potentially a suicide, but his death was ruled an accidental drowning in the Mississippi River. The late, great young Jeff Buckley. Natalie Wood drowned. And, you know, it's just such a reminder to. Because I grew up, the school I went to, the beach was literally across the street. Like, we could see the ocean from our classrooms. And that was the best thing about it because it was otherwise a terrible Catholic school. That was brutal. But every year before summer break, they would bring in lifeguards and first responders and they would give us all regular, yearly lessons in Never swim without lifeguards there. Never swim outside of the parameters that they lay out for you. They would teach us exactly what every kind of whistle a lifeguard would issue, what that meant, how to always turn around and look at what the lifeguards are signaling you to do and to just do it, and what to do if you get caught in a rip current. And I only really learned to properly swim, even though I went to the beach all the time as a kid, like swimming in a pool and like proper strokes as an adult, you know, and one of the things that I really am very grateful was inculcated in me at a very young age. Always have respect for the water, especially the ocean. It doesn't care about you. You have to have respect for the ocean. You have to educate yourself. You have to know what rip currents are, what sandbars are, what all the perils are. If you're swimming in a pool, the same thing. And I can only. I just. I feel terrible for Malcolm. Jamal Warner. I think that's what happens is, you know, I actually, in the summers I work with, I have a swim coach who comes and we do things like refine strokes or, you know, play around with, like, breathing techniques and capacities. And I'm just constantly, always striving to learn more. But one of my favorite things about it is it's a mind over matter thing. Being in the water and swimming, your lizard brain is always one second away from taking over. No matter how good a swimmer you are, no matter how good your body has a response, when your body begins to sink, panic sets in. And one of the things that I really appreciate about working every week with a coach is that it's constantly refining, like trying to override your original hard wiring, that you have to figure out a way to get panic out of there. Panic out of there and like, rational, calm thought and. So anyway, I know we're halfway through summer, but that's just my little spiel. And our deepest condolences from the nerve, all of us here, to Malcolm Jamal Warner, his family and his. And his co workers and his friends and everyone who just admired the guy. Okay, moving on to something lighter. Justin Timberlake. Breaking news. His tour is floundering. Apparently. His marriage is floundering. And he, his stagecraft, frankly, is floundering. Look at this attempt at dancing. This was a guy who was poised for, you know, when he was in. In sync. They were so clearly framing him to be like the next big pop star with a career that would last like an Elton John kind of trajectory. Now here he is reduced to this shit on stage. He's a mess. He's been a mess since before the DUI arrest in Sag harbor out here last year. And now he's come forward and said he has Lyme disease, which I think, just my opinion, Lyme disease may be code for a drug problem. Now onto your emails. I wanted to. This will be the last one on the Billy Joel segment, but this troublemaker had such a good, fascinating, fascinating observation. I watched the whole club. Random interview with Billy Joel, which we took apart on, I think, our last episode or the one before that. A few notes. First, the setting. You guys. Don't miss a trick. I love these emails. It wasn't Mars Man Cave question mark, but neither Joel's home, which tells me that Billy wanted to keep the guy at some distance. Great point. Yes. Moreover, Billy Joel sat at the piano for the whole interview, which is probably the place where he feels most at ease and safest. Yes. And sitting at a piano. This is troublemaker Elsabetta. Beautiful name. Sitting at a piano while someone else is in an armchair puts you in a somewhat higher position. It did. It literally put Billy at a higher level. And it kind of shields you from the other person. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. I do not think so. Troublemaker. But it looked as if Billi wasn't very much at ease from the start. I agree. I think Billie knew what was coming. Hey there, Maureen. Okay, this is a really fun one. We did Gwyneth's biography. As I said, save your money. So this is from a troublemaker named Ali. I'm just going to make sure I've got your email blacked out here. Who says she is an avid listener of the podcast and she disagrees with me about Karen Reid, but she's really nice about it. So thank you. Okay, on to Gwyneth Paltrow. I was seated. Let me preface this by saying I was not and I'm not a fan of hers. I think you might be Ali. And that's okay. It's okay. Anyway, taking you at your word. Ali was seated in the United Airlines lounge at o' Hare and Gwyneth strolled in and sat down. My boyfriend was adamant that it was not her. I, on the other hand, knew without a doubt I'd always heard rumbles of her unapproachability and coldness. So I was cautious in my approach. I figured I'd throw her some sort of compliment so she'd agree to take a picture with me. I have disdain. This is a real troublemaker. I have a disdain for most Nepo babies, so I consider just telling her I was a fan of her mother. Okay. Anyway, I walked up, sat down next to her and whispered, hey, Gwen. I purpose. I purposefully said, gwen and not Gwyneth. She looked up in absolute bewilderment, like she could not understand who the hell would be speaking to her in this setting. I then said, hey, you seem so chill. Do you mind taking a picture? Picture with me? She then looked left, looked right, fixed her hair and gave a little chuckle like she was simply appeasing me and said, sure. We took the picture. I said, have a safe flight. And that was that. Her initials on her purse were confirmation it was truly hers. I stated, now we're going to show the pictures. They're really cute. There's a. It's a. It's a sneak attack of a post of a picture, rather, of Gwyneth taken from afar working on her laptop and minding her own business at the United Airlines lounge at o'. Hare. And then second one you'll see on. On our. On the screen is a. Is a really cute selfie. It's really sweet. And, you know, I gotta say again, Gwyneth is growing on us over here at the Nerve. Maureen, thinking about, again, to Gwyneth's impolitic, I would say, divulgence to the late makeup artist Kevin Aucoin that Ben Affleck was a fan of teabagging and she loved it when he did it to her. We defined it. For those who did not know you, by the way, you are all very grateful to know about this particular sexual act. Warning you, it's a little graphic, but it's too funny. I gotta do it. Maureen, thinking about the visual of 6 foot plus Ben with. With. With legs spread and testicles swaying back and forth on Paltrow's forehead. Yeah, I'm gonna stop there. What is great about that? Or. Or his testicles really in her mouth. Maureen, I love your show. So glad you read Amy Griffin's book the Tell. And red flags went off. Common sense, thank God. Okay, Amy did not come from nothing or even middle class as she tries to depict in her book, as she actually actively depicts in her book. This troublemaker, Jackie says her family are multi millionaires and are considered one of the prominent families in town. She is privileged beyond comprehension. Her mom, Julie, would have never in all caps, left her at school after hours. And if she was there after hours, it was first sports practice. And I know for a fact those coaches know where each person is at all times. A girl being raped in a bathroom or a classroom wouldn't have even been possible. Yes, the doors have glass in them. Yes, janitors and other teachers are bustling about. This could not happen now. Not to mention, the teacher she is accusing was also a coach after school. He would have been with his team. The other coaches definitely would have realized something was up if he wasn't there for practice. Lo and behold. And at the same time, a girl student was missing from her practice. This is disgusting. Shame on her. This is a real guy. And this man, this troublemaker says his family and friends have been put through the wringer over her accusation. That is 25 years too late and all of a sudden to remember. Championed by Oprah. Hey, Maureen. I wanted to add that it's true what another listener said about Amarillo and Amy Griffin's deliberate mischaracterization of this large city as the land of little pink houses. I won't go into it. I feel like I have some buried childhood trauma similar to what Griffin claims in her book. I merely reached out and asked her what school she attended in hopes that it could kill or further the narrative. And she didn't even have the decency to write back. Wonder why I wonder. Maureen, chiming in on longer form topics? Yes, please. You guys really like this idea? I'd like to see them as specials rather than weekly or daily. Great. That's a really good suggestion. Other thoughts? Saying world wind instead of whirlwind is a massive display of stupidity as discussed. Agreed. The following phrase needs to go to the woodshed. This troublemaker says Louise, your favorite troublemaker. Hi, Louise. Meet us in the moment or meet me in the moment. And any variation of in the moment. Listen, dumb asses, you don't need to say it. We Know where we are in the fucking moment. Yes, Louise, this also, this is hand in hand with lived experience. I want to eradicate lived experience from the culture. Are you alive? You're having the experience which is baked in to experience. You're experiencing something. Lived experience. All these people trying to sound smart and boy, are we going to get to it in the next segment of the show. Good morning, Maureen. Oh, by the way, this is another one regarding the tell. Here are a few things that jumped out to me as really odd when Amy Griffith Griffin. Excuse me. Talked about the time she was doing yoga and her husband started to tie her up. Okay, so after 15 years of marriage and this is the first time her husband approached the idea of a bondage interlude. She should freak out. Yeah. Also, this troublemaker named Jennifer from Ohio says, I dare her to name the dentist who purposefully held her down in the chair when she was in pain, when during a procedure. Would not not be a public service. If there's a sadistic dentist out there, one would think, what do I know? What do we all. We all know a lot, okay? We all know a lot. We're all seeing through it, okay? Anyway, I have to stop. I could go on all day. But we have other. We have other segments to get to. So this is just your friendly reminder, as always, to keep it up. Like, subscribe, spread the word. We are growing and growing. We are growing so fast. We are making active moves on merch. We are making active moves on a bunch of other stuff to bring you guys where we're all going to be continuing to talk together outside of the show, as always. Email me maureenvilmaycare media.com this can be conversational. This can be ideas. These can be tips. These can be calls coming from inside a house. Troublemakers out there, know who you are. DM me on Instagram, @maureen callahanrider or at the Nerf show. Coming up, we have some new additions to our collection of offenders in the culture. See you in a minute. For years, we've been told that wrinkle creams are the key to looking younger. But according to Dr. John Lakey, a Beverly Hills beauty expert, that is outdated advice. He says that most wrinkle products are just glorified moisturizers that barely improve appearance and some may even harm your skin. Dr. Lakey has shifted his focus from traditional cosmetic procedures to a new anti aging method that some experts say could disrupt the beauty industry. His clients call it the Age Rewinder method, a do it yourself technique that can visibly reduce the appearance of wrinkles in under two minutes. To share this breakthrough, Dr. Lakey released a free step by step video explaining how to use this method at home. This video has gone viral with over 2.3 million views and thousands of positive comments. One viewer wrote the best results of anything I've used. I can't believe how well this works. I will never stop using this product. To watch the video, go to bhmd1.com nerve or click the link in the description box below. And Dr. Lakey has only one ask if this video helps you look or feel younger, please share it with others. Together, more people can discover this simple at home solution, visit bhmd1.com/ nerve now.
- [53:55]
Unknown
Hi, we're Emoji Health, your long term weight loss solution. We'll connect you with a board certified provider to discuss your unique goals. Eligible patients can Access custom formulated GLP1 medications at an affordable fixed price delivered to their door monthly. Take our free eligibility quiz@joinmochi.com and use code AUDIO40 at checkout for $40 off your first month of membership. That's join mochi.com results may vary. Eligible GLP1 patients typically lose 1 to 2 pounds per week in their first six months with Mochi when combined with a healthy lifestyle.
- [54:29]
Maureen Callahan
We are back. Now first I just want to make a quick note about a discussion we were having the other day. It was actually on the Mini, the most recent one, the Domestic Abuser, still on Bravo's airwaves. The first part of the Valley reunion aired this week and Andy Cohen sat very calmly and chattily happily next to this guy as he admitted on that stage on screen to terrifying domestic violence against his wife, including smashing and throwing heavy furniture, a coffee table among among those pieces of furniture and throwing her into a rose bush. And there was a moment on that show in the beginning of the of the reunion where his his soon to be ex wife said something like I'm shaking right now. And he spat back, you should be. He should have been escorted off that stage immediately. But no, Andy Cohen's got ratings to accrue. He's got another penthouse he wants to buy somewhere. This guy Andy Cohen. The buck stops with him and we're going to get to him a little bit later. He's a piece of shit. This is disgusting. This is disgusting. Now if there are any legacy media executives out there trying to figure out why the likes of an E. News or other such mainstream corporate entertainment shows are dying, this is exhibit A as to why. Exhibit A Oprah is a piece of shit. And there are dangerous, dangerous people that you, you guys put on air and then you just act as regurgitators for their best interests and your best interests. And in doing so, in so doing, you are treating your audience with contempt. You're saying to them, yeah, we do think you're just that fucking stupid. We do think you're just a bunch of hicks and hasties out there who would worship these people because they happen to be rich or famous or on TV or in the movies or playing your town at a big show or they're an athlete you admire. Everybody's. The scales fell from everybody's eyes a long time ago. And Harvey Weinstein, I mean, you gotta be kidding. If that didn't just put the nail in that coffin. Meryl Streep, he's God. Oprah with her Golden Globe speech. Never again will anybody say, me too. She's out there perpetrating another act, in my opinion, of just civil irresponsibility at best, in Maui. All of this stuff is why the nerve hit, by the way. And I don't take credit for that. We're just over here telling the truth. We're just over here talking real shit about fake people. And that's what people want. That's what everybody wants. We want to be treated like adults and have a real discussion and be like, hey, yeah, I'm seeing and hearing the exact same thing you're seeing and hearing. But these people, these entities are trying to tell me I'm an idiot. Out. So, you know, rip. And good riddance to E. News, which was a worthless just fixture in the culture. What did it do? It's fat. Back out. Celebrity press releases. Andy Cohen, may he be next. Now onto some lighter stuff. Katy Perry was seen this week with Justin Trudeau and apparently they have been begun dating. And we know, we know it's true because Katy Perry has also been photographed by paparazzi wearing eyeglasses, which I'm going to bet have no prescription in them. But she wants us to know that she's smart because she's dating a former Canadian PM who showed up at her show dancing again. I don't, I just don't know. I just don't know what to say. But it did get us thinking about. First of all, as I, as I said on my Instagram tease for today's show, like Katie, it's not going to bring Orlando Bloom back. He doesn't care. As as seen, he was competing with Tom Brady, or maybe not so much competing, but for Sydney Sweeney over At the Bezos wedding in Venice. He's moved. He's moved on. He's moved on. So data guy who used to, you know, okay, I'll leave it there. But this got us thinking here at the Nerve about what's next in the imminent future of a former American president who looks to be back on the market soon. And wouldn't you know, our producer Hannah stumbled upon the Raya profile for Raya or Raya, I never say it right, who cares? But anyway, it's his dating profile for one Barack Obama. All take a look at this together. So if you are listening, I'm going to read you a brief description of Barack's self description on the RAYA page. He calls himself his occupation. He's a retired influencer. I think that's the most apt description I've ever heard of Barack Obama. He's age 63. He has multiple residences in Martha's Vineyard, Chicago, Illinois, Washington D.C. and Hawaii, where he is still building his compound. I don't know, it's taken so long. It's been years. And anyway, he says that why is he on this, on this dating site for elites and celebs. He is merely looking for some quote for someone who appreciates me. His only request. The only people off limits. No podcasters, please. Now I think first of all, two things. Michelle Obama is seething with fury because since Barack appeared on her podcast, her and brother Craig's podcast a couple of weeks ago, and you know, it got like 500,000 eyeballs in less than 24 hours. She has since issued two more podcasts and they have just fallen flat. It's like if a tree falls, nobody cares. Nobody cares. So it's just more proof and Barack's the only one people care about. He's going to be just fine. I still think Barack should call the gay professor he can't stop thinking about. But you know, anyway, I think another, there is another high profile political couple that may be heading for divorce. I've, I've seen little breadcrumbs for a while now, but on Thursday morning, this clip, I couldn't believe this clip. You know, there, there are a lot of damaged female celebrities out there who, you know, it's like that cool girl interluding Gone Girl in the book, in the film where it's just like, yeah, I'm just a cool girl. Like my man can do anything and like he can't offend, he can't ripple, he can't nothing. It's water off a duck's back. I'm cool. I'm not the girl who would be like, hey, don't do that, or that offends me or that makes me angry or that hurts my feelings. No, Gotta be cool. So let's look at Nikki Glaser. It just wound up in my algorithm. I couldn't believe it. Now, Nikki Glaser has spent decades, decades trying to punch through into mainstream celebrity. She spent decades on the margins and that Tom Brady roast did it. And then she got the Golden Globes and she was asked back to host, which was all she wanted. And here she is now having, quote, unquote, made it, talking about. I'm not going to spoil it for you because you've got to hear it with your own ears. You just, you're not going to believe it. Let's, let's see what she finds empowering these days vis a vis her relationship with her boyfriend. Are you still a proponent of non monogamy? I like my boyfriend to at least entertain the idea of being with other women or be with them. I think it's about, like, I want to be on HBO Max because people watch HBO Max. It's a cool network. I want my show on a place that is a cool, shiny, like, I want things that other people want. Would you be cool with him sleeping with somebody else? Yeah. Right now? Yeah. I mean, if you wanted to be with her. No. Then go be with her. Like, don't be with me. How could she have to be with me if I was like, like cooked him a meal every night and someone else made him a meal? I wouldn't be like another person. Okay, that's enough. That's enough. That's enough of her. She's a moron. What is she doing? She's up there saying she doesn't want to be with anybody else but her boyfriend. But she not only is cool with her boyfriend sleeping around with other women, she would love that for him. She actively encourages that. This is a really. Listen, I am no prude and I for the most part, I think, do what makes you happy. As long as you're not hurting anybody else, go for it. You go around the sun once. But honestly, this is all. This is a really, really dark, disturbing message to be sending, especially to young girls, because she is completely ignoring the very real health risks of having multiple of your partner. Having multiple other partners. You know, it's like since, since they, since AIDS really scared the shit out of everybody and it made people reassess and then the pendulum swung completely the other way. And you know, that is not a healthy attitude. Okay. Nikki Glaser needs to get herself to a really good shrink and figure out why she thinks so little of herself that sexual fidelity in an intimate relationship is too much to ask for. Do you know who likes that? Post one. Cheryl Hines, wife of RFK Jr. Third wife. And she got together with him when Mary Richardson Kennedy was having a complete meltdown over the end of their marriage. And Cheryl and Bobby Jr. Made a lot of hay out of having such a great time with each other on social media while Mary was decompensating rapidly. And Cheryl made a lot of noise about having fun with Mary's kids at their favorite burger haunt burger joint. And then Cheryl and Bobby made a point to move into a house that was like a stone's throw from where Bobby had left Mary to live out the rest of her days before she killed herself. And, you know, I think this is a great end for Cheryl Hines because I don't think she's a very nice person. Again, I don't judge. Life is really complicated. Shit happens. You know, we're all adults here, but there's, there's, there's doing that and having a rough beginning and a less than ideal one and rubbing it in to a woman who is struggling. So clearly, you know. Anyway, Bobby Jr. As we know, is much like Nikki Glaser's boyfriend by Nikki's own self report. I don't know what that guy's really like, but you know Bobby, his sexual promiscuity is well, well, well documented. And his own self report in his diaries. Those diaries are. They're piling up over in the Kennedy wing that's being built for the existing woodshed. So you guys are going to love this thing. I can't wait. Okay, Harry and Meghan update. Netflix gave them the ax. Now Meghan's busy trying to spin this story into gold, you know. Oh, no. Oh, no. You know, I'm working out a first look deal with them, which means nothing. It means nothing. Netflix can say yes, sure, sure. Come to us with any pitches you have. Which they're just gonna throw in the trash like the trash that they are. You know, it's rumored that WME is on the cusp of dropping her, too. Harry just went to Africa and he went missing for three days. Reportedly, she couldn't get ahold of him. Things are not well. I love it. And we have a new Newsweek poll. Why they even bothered to take this thing, I have no idea. No idea what Americans really think of Meghan Markle's Netflix show. I could have told you without spending the time or the money. They hate it. They don't want to watch it. It's boring. She's a phony. She's a hypocrite, and she's insufferable. She's Sussex. Now, according to this poll, Meghan Markle's Netflix cooking show is known among less than half of U.S. adults and liked by 19% of the population. Higher numbers than I would have thought. Now, finally, to another insufferable figure in the culture, one Jamie Lee Curtis, who has inserted herself as a something of a warrior for real women. Jamie, born to two Hollywood megastars, having lived her life in the spotlight. An OG Nepo baby. She's here to tell the rest of American women, all of us, really, not just American women, anyone who will listen. She's got this all figured out, okay? She's got it all figured out, and she's gonna tell us. She is so singular in her insufferability, which makes her such a great target for the nerve. Thank you, Jamie. Now she's busy doing a bunch of interviews for her Freaky Friday sequel. And I guess she, too, is suffering from Sarah Jessica Parker Syndrome. That's what we're calling it. We're probably gonna have to create a DSM just for the nerve, as well as, like a Grey's Anatomy book or some sort of diagnostic book. We're gonna call this Sarah Jessica Parker Syndrome. And it's the feeling of being an actress who is not good enough for cinema, like proper cinema. Because Jamie Lee referenced this in her Oscar speech, which we are going to get to. She said, you know, she. She. She, like, groveled before her. Her peer group, who just gave her an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. And she said, oh, thanks for sticking with me while I did genre films. She's putting herself down. She did films that made a bunch of money. That's code, by the way, for horror films, slasher films. But anyway, Jamie, that Oscar. I just implore the Academy to think this through next round, because when you give these people these Oscars, you gotta think about how likely they are to use this as proof that everything they have to say is really important and really smart. And we should all listen to it because Jamie is now on her high horse about plastic surgery. And I have an entire theory of the case. Okay? Here's what she said in an interview with the Guardian last weekend. I'm going to read from it. Jamie Lee Curtis has condemned the plastic surgery industries, quote, disfiguration of women. Likening its impact to, and I quote, genocide. I think that I would like to see a roundtable maybe in the Hollywood Reporter. Let's start putting it together. Jamie Lee, Greta, Sarah Jessica. We'll add to it as we go anyway. Okay, going back to the Guardian piece, the 66 year old star brought a set of enlarged red plastic lips as a prop to the photo shoot telling journalist Emma Brock's it was her quote, statement against plastic surgery. She posed in the article wearing the lips over her own. Instead of the statement, quote, I've been a very, I've been very vocal, excuse me, about the genocide of a generation of women by the cosmeceutical industrial complex. I mean, she must have been vibrating with just elation at, at being able to put the words genocide and cosmeceutical industrial complex together. She must have thought to herself, I sound really smart. I sound really smart. Okay, you don't. I have to say it like, you don't. You sound like an idiot. You know, multisyllabic words do not a brainiac make. This is a former Activious spokeswoman, okay? She spent six years hawking yogurt in commercials. And the name Activia is deliberate because she recently said, and again, we're smart. This is, this is Jamie Lee. I sold yogurt that makes you shit for six years. Now, my, my biggest offense taken here is that that sentence is not properly constructed. That sentence, basically the way it's constructed, she's saying that the yogurt that she was selling would make anyone who consumed it move their bowels for six years straight. Okay? You would be on the toilet for six years straight, in which case you would be dead. You would be like a victim in the movie seven that like Kevin Spacey left on the toilet for six years. And like Activia containers would be all around you, like you could only eat Activia. They'd like crap it out. Oh my God. Jamie, speak to what? You know, just regular Hollywood bullshit. Just be, just be a light person, okay? Anyway, when she was questioned whether genocide was the appropriate word to use in the context of plastic surgery. And Jamie, this is a pro tip. That is a journalist helping you out. And they don't have to because that's a money quote. I mean, I, I long for the days of the journalist who would be like, oh my God, like I got money quotes. I got, I got a celebrity here who's like going off and they don't know what the they're talking about. You know, you'll, you'll have a piece that goes viral, you know, but they're always trying to help these people out. They shouldn't let them go. Let them do it. So anyway, the journalist says, are you sure that's appropriate again, like telling you to walk it back. But Curtis says, no, I mean it. I mean it. Quote, I've used that word for a long time, and I use it specifically because it is a strong word. I believe that we have wiped out a generation or two of natural human. The concept that you can alter the way you look through chemicals, surgical procedures, fillers. There's a disfigurement of generations of predominantly women who are altering their appearances. Number one, it's been going on since the beginning of time. They just unearthed like a 3 billion year old fossil. Like, like a humanoid fossil, or is it three? I don't know how old it is. It's really old. And that, that, that human has a tattoo. Okay. Rita Hayworth had to get electrolysis along her hairline because her forehead was too low. Marilyn Monroe had a ton of cosmetic surgery. This is Hollywood, sister. This is your industry. What are you doing? And by the way, look at Jamie Lynn. Jamie Lynn, Jamie Lee. I can, I can't get them straight. That is a facelift. She has a facelift. I am sorry. That is my opinion. But I have eyes. And what does not happen as women age is that their skin somehow gets tighter and tauter. No, it gets slacker. You get jowls, your neck begins to sag. How the f does Jamie Lee Curtis at like 67 years old, or however old she is, have a face that's as tight as a drum? Go sit over there with your horseshit. All right, let's look at her Oscar speech. Let's just nail her to the wall. Okay, here we go. And my mother and my father were both nominated for Oscar Spencer Oscars in different categories. I just want an Oscar. She's crying now. She's crying. There's no tears. There's no tears. You know, this is my favorite kind of Oscar acceptance speech. Kate Winslet gave one. Gave one that was much the same too, when she won one for the Reader, which. Oh, that again. Harvey Weinstein. What a magician. Rapist. Bad guy. Magician, though he turned a movie about a Nazi pedophile into a best actress win. Anyway, Kate Winslet that year was doing the rounds and she was, she was dying to get that Oscar. She was campaigning like a mother. Same with Jamie Lee. And then she gets up there on me. I won an Oscar. Oh, my God. Okay, now this is great. This is great. So one year before the Oscars. Now I'm guessing everything everywhere, all at once was in the can at this point. But she probably didn't know it was a good movie. I think that movie's a mess. I couldn't get through it. But the hive mind is what it is. But anyway, she had, like, the latest iteration of Halloween. That was the work she was booking, and things were so bad. This is worse than Jamie having to do Activia ads. She had to go on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She had to lower herself and do a bit of cross promotion because Kyle Richards of that cast was a former child star who had starred, I think, in the first Halloween. She had a bit part, I think, in the first Halloween. And the producers brought her back for the crossover promotion. And so let's watch Jamie making her grand entrance pre Oscar to Kyle's estate, which I'll tell you a little bit about. On the other end of this, there's Kyle anxiously awaiting. Jamie. Jamie Knox. You look so gorgeous and stunning. Hello again.
- [76:40]
Gail King
How are you?
- [76:44]
Maureen Callahan
Now this is one of another one of my pet peeves. I don't know if it's a West coast thing, an LA thing. Ing @ the end of any given word, a gerund, as it were. It's stunning. It's not stunning stunning. It's this weird, complete just. It's just. That is not how you pronounce ing stunning. You sound like you didn't get past 8th grade. Okay? It is an abomination. Learn how to speak properly. And now Jamie takes the compliment. You look stunning. Who doesn't want to be told they look stunning? Who doesn't want to be told they look great, you know? And she shows up. She's all decked out. She's decked out for her grand scene on Real Housewives. I mean, she's wearing at least $5,000 worth of designer clothes, by the way, that is professional hair and professional makeup on Jamie. And we've got professional lighting. Okay, now let's go. This exchange is so affected, even for Beverly Hills. Let's take a look. I'm the most unrelaxed human being you've ever. Why? Because I just colored my gray roots? I. I just gonna check. No, my skin is dyed. Amy makes her approach running around like a chicken. But my gate has rang 4 million times. She's uncomfortably kissing the side of Kyle's head. Could give a like 10 seconds straight. I give a. About your gray hair. I know, I know. All I care about is your heart. Thank you. I'm so excited. I care about it. It's why I'm here. You're. I'm not here because of your hair. I'm not here because of your pretty house, although it is beautiful. I'm not here for any of the reason except your heart. Okay, that is a load of horseshit. Number one, Kyle Richards has one of the blackest hearts on reality tv. Number one. Number two, if you keep saying I'm not here because of your hair or your makeup or your pretty house even though it's pretty. The former Smokey Robinson estate or you know, whatever your, your superficial attribute, like that's Jamie Lynn. Jamie Lee. Excuse me, Stealing valor. Okay, that's her going, I am such, I am such an enlightened person that I am so far above you caring about your gray roots. Yeah, you may be hosting me in your house and on your show, but I'm way more enlightened than you or any of your knuckle dragging friends. Again, I may be in professional hair and makeup and $5,000 worth of designer clothing, but I'm just here because of your heart. Says a woman who works in one of the fakest industries going, okay, stop it, stop it now. That is also a lie. Surprise. Right? Because Jamie is also promoting some kind of bullshit organization. I don't know what it means. It's got this acronym that makes no sense. And she has arrived to Kyle's house with a bag full of merchants. I mean, really, really, really down market merch that she's slinging over here. That's what she's doing. She's using her, her spot as a cross promotion in multiple ways. And then we're also going to get a glimpse into the sheer pain of sitting through one of these lunches with these fake women. And it's literally, it's just a. It's a competition. It's a race to the bottom of who's the fakest. Watch as there's a woman on the show who is from Connecticut who married a British man and adopted some sort of fake British transatlantic accent. And watch her suck up to Jamie. To Jamie Lee Curtis at this lunch and how uncomfortable it makes even these fake bitches. Let's watch. By the way, everything that I'm showing you is on myhandinyours.com. the My Hand in Yours tumblers. It keeps things hot and cold. Hot and cold. Amazing. We have the My Hand in Yours license plate holder. Wow. We have a wind chime. Oh, wind chime of My hand in yours, Jamie, let me just say that is the shadow chicest wind chime I have ever. Thank you, darling. Even Jamie Lee Curtis was embarrassed by that. The chicest wind chime I have ever seen. Okay, now Jamie has also said that she's been self retiring for 30 years. Again, that makes no sense because she hasn't gone away and she's in our faces. She's on the COVID of People magazine this week with Lindsay Lohan. So she says she's, she's self retiring so that she can, quote, leave the party before I'm no longer invited. No, Jamie Lee is the person at the party. Like the hosts are like wrapping it up. You know, it's like the dishes are being loaded into the dishwasher and the yawns are exaggerated and the watches are being checked and the, the guest isn't getting the memo. Like, you gotta go. Like, get out of my house. Do you know I've had guests like this? It's like wild. You're like, how I'm trying my best here. Sometimes you have to say, listen, I gotta head to bed. You gotta go. You're gonna miss the last whatever train outta town. Oh my God, she is going to ruin the remake of Murder She Wrote. She's going to ruin it. And I would just implore whoever greenlit this thing, just don't, don't maul the memory of that, okay? One of the ultimate cozy murder mystery shows, like starring a true legend, Angela Lansbury, who, not for nothing, when Hollywood got too much for her kids, she took them out of town and moved them back to Ireland, okay? A real deal person. Now as for Jamie, who is so far above the fixation with looks that imprison all of her other peers who she's so much better than, and then the rest of us who have somehow mistaken wanting to look presentable, if not really nice as a real reflection of how wayward our values have gone. She. I'm gonna say it. On Oscar night, that speech, she looked like she was wearing Spanx. So she can fuck off. It's not her. This, this, this stance that she is taking, trust me, this is my theory of the case. This is really just a cover for not ever having been Hollywood beautiful. You know it, I know it, the whole industry knows it. I do not know why the media just regurgitates what she has to say as if it's gospel. I do not. Because this is not a healthy. Again, I don't think this is a healthy message to be giving the girls and women of the world. I don't think it is. And I would fight her on that if I was interviewing her. Who made her the. Oh, my God. No, but she's famous and she's, she's not that attractive, so we got to listen to it. Same with Lena Dunham. She's out there. I just saw an interview with her where she was doing, she was talking about how she's shooting on the streets of New York City right now with Natalie Portman, you know, who is like a rail and like a beautiful woman still. And she's like, you know, now I'm out there looking like a slob in my Uniqlo T shirt. It's like, honey, you're not looking like a slob because you're wearing a Uniqlo T shirt. Just talk about what's going on here. You've got some clear, just my opinion, mental illness that is manifesting in morbid obesity that is going to take your life. But let's, let's blame it on the paparazzi and how mean they can be. Okay? Sure. Okay. Now also, I don't know why somebody hasn't said this to her, to Jamie, because she is co starring with Lindsay Lohan in this Freaky Friday remake and or sequel to the remake of, you know, the original. But Lindsay Lohan had, I believe it seems like she's had a fair amount of work done. A good amount of work done. And good work, good work. After she almost lost her looks for good to drugs and alcohol. She was really, really in it for a while there. And now Lindsay is sober and Jamie Lee loves to talk about how she's been sober low these many years. Right. I mean, can't you show a little compassion? What do you think you're. She knows what she's saying to the likes of Lindsay Lohan, who makes her incandescent with rage and jealousy because Lindsay has gifts that Jamie never had. Lindsay was a beauty. Lindsay was a child prodigy of a performer. She didn't come from. Her parents weren't famous. She came from a small town on Long Island. She got there partly because her parents were nightmares, but because she had looks and talent and charisma. Jamie doesn't. Doesn't. She does. I'm sorry, she doesn't. Does she have talent? To a degree, I suppose. You know, but this, this is what it is. And so she's shiving her young co star, her much younger again, youth and beauty. Jamie's. Jamie's enraged. Can't get that back. Not that she had Beauty, but she had youth. Not even an Oscar will fill that hole. So here she is taking a crap, really, all over her co star who's trying to mount a comeback. And good for her. I wasn't a fan of Lindsay Lohan when she was running around getting DUIs all over the place and putting other people's lives in danger. But you gotta root for anybody who's trying to make it right and get themselves back together and become a success again. So Jamie is in the woodshed right now. We are tentatively pulling for one Lindsay Lohan. Now, this is all to say, don't believe any of these celebrities. Even there's this new thing that they've started doing. And it wasn't. I'm not saying it's a causal relationship at all because again, we are a baby show. But we did a segment on the kind of reconstructive plastic surgery that is tantamount to a head transplant. Like a Kylie Jenner before and after or a Hailey Bieber before and after. And then they said would always say things like, well, I haven't had anything done, or Bella Hadid, I didn't have anything done. I mean, we all see it. It's a head transplant. And now they've started saying, oh, you know what the cool thing is to do? It's to be open about everything we've had done. And I don't think they're always telling you the truth. I think it's a way of like saying, okay, I'll cop to some stuff because I need you to sort of believe that I'm authentic to a degree in order for you to continue to buy into any given good or service I'm trying to sell you. But they won't, they won't confess to everything. There's always stuff they're not telling you about. Now, the only person I think may be telling the truth is Barbara Corcoran of Shark Tank, who is in her 70s now. And she has recently given two interviews in which she really. It was a laundry list of procedures that she gets done every year down to like ear filler, which I believe is like, she's getting filler in her earlobes. So, I mean, she's going to go to that level of minutia. I think she might be telling the truth. And she looks like she's had a lot of work done. Like good work, but a lot of work. But the others, I don't, I don't believe any Kardashian. They all look like Blade Runner replicants. I don't think that Kris, I think Kris Jenner's facelift looks good depending on, depending on the lighting scenario. And you know, a lot of people who have extensive plastic surgeries and show business, like, it looks good on camera, but in real, in, in real life, it looks like extensive plastic surgery. That's what it looks like. And it's all, it like puts you off because it doesn't, the skin doesn't look quite human. It's, their skin has been cut into multiple times. You know, I wanted to say who. Oh, this is a, this is a, this is a warning too. If you're reading online or in magazines, like, okay, if you, if you're interested in getting some work done, like a facelift or, or what have you go to say, like Kris Jenner's plastic surgeon, because look at the miracle he just did. I'm going to tell you firsthand, I cannot say who these people are. How I know of an A list actress, very, very, very famous, still relevant in the culture, who got a botched facelift. And it was done by one of these guys, one of these celebrity, celebrity plastic surgeons who has otherwise done some famous people to, you know, decent effect. But he, he ruined this woman's face. And it was the talk of the plastic surgery community in New York City, as was the plastic surgeon that this star went to. The other one who fixed it, who fixed it. And some of the work that these celebrities have done, as I discussed in the earlier segment we did on the Nerve with Jennifer Aniston, she definitely had some sort of lower facelift and you can't reverse it. It didn't settle right. And that lower facelift, you should never get it. You should never get it. So, you know, all of these things, extreme caution. A lot of these celebrities are getting work for free or at a major discount if they will, if they will pimp out the name of the doctor who did it and like, bring more business through their doorways. And by the way, another one not to believe. Pam Anderson, who's having this sort of renaissance now and everybody's like, oh, look, she and Liam Neeson. What a love story for the ages. I don't think that's going to end well. I also think, you know, she's her whole thing ever since she got like involved with Julian Assange. That was wild. I don't think it was ever romantic, but I think she wanted it to be. Her whole thing is like, look, I'm now no makeup person. I reject Hollywood standards even though I still. She's in a Major movie right now. I reject Hollywood standards. I will not wear makeup. Well, that is a facelift. She's had a facelift. Look at her face. She is in her mid-50s. I think she's closer to 60 than anything. And her face is tight. There is not a jowl to be seen. That is not Photoshop. You can't look at her. So don't believe these women. This is a lie that they are selling us and it's meant to make all of us feel terrible for not having the money because that takes a lot of money or the time to hold back the clock. And the truth really is, honestly, I think that most of us have more stuff going on than any of these women out there who are promoting this stuff. More intellect, more soul, more interests, priorities that place people in love over trying to be a modern day Dorian Gray. And by the way, things didn't end well for Dorian Gray, who is one of Oscar Wilde's most famous creations. And if you forget how it ended, he died after stabbing his portrait. He stabbed his portrait and. And he died as the old man he really was. And that was the moral. Anyway, that's it. We're out of time, sadly, we're out of time. That is it for our Friday edition of the Nerve. But we have a mini dropping for you. This thing wrote itself. It's. I love it. I think you're gonna love it. It's dropping Saturday at 10am Eastern. Remember, for right now, the Minis only live on you YouTube. So go over there. It's our weekly weekend coffee day for those on the east and west Coast. I see some of you troublemakers getting up early in other parts of the world to like it and to watch it rather live. And we are really, really touched by that. So we made this one worth it for you, I promise. So, yeah, that's it. We'll see you on the other side, Troublemakers at the Mini. And on next week's full show Tuesday at the Nerve, where you will never guess what we're about to say next.