← The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
Prince Andrew’s Arrest Stirs Palace PANIC, Vogue’s Succession Flop, and a Nerve-y Today Show Mission
01:15:38
Maureen Callahan is joined by celebrity reporter and royal insider Rob Shuter to unpack the bombshell arrest of former Prince Andrew and the palace panic that followed, including explosive allegations about what allegedly went on inside Buckingham Palace and how King Charles’ long silence may now threaten the stability of the crown itself. With abdication whispers swirling and Prince William looming as the future, they ask whether this is the moment the monarchy fractures. Then Maureen slams a woman accused of abandoning her dog at an airport before going in on Anna Wintour’s icy demeanor during a press tour with would-be Vogue successor Chloé Malle, exposing Malle's lack of vision and the unmistakable power imbalance. After that, The Nerve goes undercover at the 'Today Show' with producer Marlaina coming face-to-face with Hoda Kotb in a stealth stunt that only Team Nerve would attempt. Rob Shuter - https://robshuter.substack.com/ Rob’s Debut Novel “It Started With a Whisper” h...
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- [00:01]
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- [00:30]
Rob Shooter
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- [01:03]
Maureen Callahan
Hello and welcome to your Friday edition of the Nerve. I am your host, Maureen Callahan. We are spilling over with breaking news. First, a huge bombshell out of London. The arrest of Prince Andrew, former Prince Andrew Mountbatten Windsor. That is his name, Andrew Mount, the disgrace to humanity. That is Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, arrested on his birthday, no less. So this happened and who but our local hero, Rob Shooter texts immediately to say, hey, I don't know if you guys know this, but I was a publicist at the palace. I worked for Princess Michael of Kent. Do you want me to come on and talk this through with you? And we said, yes, please, please. So Rob is here to break down this unprecedented series of events. What it means for the monarchy going forward. Can King Charles survive this? Can the monarchy survive this? We are going to get deeply, deeply into it. Then we're going to lighten things up. We're going to read your emails and Nerve hq, by the way. We are, we are just overwhelmed with, like, love for you guys. You flooded us with great feedback after the first puppy poll. So we've winnowed it down and we're gonna talk to you about the names that are in the final stretch. Stedman, steady is out. Out, out, out, out. That was overwhelming. We'll get into it and then we're gonna do a follow up poll which Marlena is calling a follow pup because Marlena cannot help herself. Her puns just will not be denied. Okay, then this is. I've been waiting all week to do this one with you guys all week. Anna Wintour is allegedly reportedly our opinion, not stepping down from her perch at Vogue and she's been dragging her hand picked successor, Nepo spawn Chloe Mal around with her is not going well and I've got many theories as to why. I have many theories of this case, this particular cultural crime. Okay? And then we've got like a real treat for you. A real treat. And I don't even want to give a hint because it's so good. You're gonna. You're gonna love it. You're gonna die. Okay, it is time. Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go. Today's show is brought to you by Oxford Natural, home of the all natural, Optimum day and Optimum night supplements. Are you trying to lose weight and feel like yourself again? Thousands of men and women across the US and UK are already doing it with Oxford Natural. Optimum day powers you with steady energy, crushes cravings and keeps your metabolism firing all day. I Optimum Night helps you relax, sleep deeply, recover and keep burning fat while you rest. England soccer legend Michael Owen lost £40 and Robbie, the face of AFTV, dropped over £100. It's worked for others too. With customer testimonials raving about Oxford Naturals effectiveness. Now it's your turn. Scan the QR code or click the link and grab 70% off your first order with code FIRST NERVE. No gimmicks, no needles, just results. Oxford Natural. Let's get to work. Joining us now to talk about the bombshell developments in the arrest of Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, formerly known as Prince Andrew, is none other than our friend, celebrity reporter extraordinaire, Rob Shooter, who has ties to the Royal family and was actually a publicist for Princess Michael of Kent. Rob, welcome back to the Nerve and thank you for joining us. Tell us what you know so far about this arrest.
- [05:20]
Rob Shooter
Just a bombshell, so an absolute bombshell. Nobody saw this coming, particularly the Royal family. King Charles was not given the heads up. This was a surprise. So the British police, they raided his home about 8am British local time Thursday morning. He was still in bed, I'm told. He was totally. Unfortunately.
- [05:40]
Maureen Callahan
So they burst in.
- [05:41]
Rob Shooter
They burst in. The police burst. Wow. To the palace. He is now staying in Sandrington, which is about three hours north of London. He'd finally been kicked out of the Royal Lodge. He was moving to this kind of fancy farmhouse. They call it a farmhouse, but it was a big palace. But while that was being renovated, he was staying in a different cottage on the estate of unmarked cars, unmarked police people, they were not in uniform. They broke in at 8am they arrested him, they took him off to jail. And while that was going on, Maureen, they also went to two other properties, at least two other properties, to make sure they secured whatever evidence they're looking for.
- [06:22]
Maureen Callahan
Now, what does it say, Rob, that the police did not give the palace any kind of a heads up? Did not give the King any kind of a heads up?
- [06:32]
Rob Shooter
Yeah, lots of things. First of all, it says here that maybe they didn't trust the King. The King has been very slow to respond to his brother's outrageous behaviour. His mother, the great Queen Elizabeth, somebody I deeply admired, she too kicked the can down the road when it came to this very, very troubled son, who was her favorite son. So maybe that was why. So the King wasn't told for several reasons. One, I'm not sure they totally trusted him too. And this is really interesting. He's no longer royal, he's been kicked out of the family. He's a private citizen.
- [07:06]
Maureen Callahan
Right.
- [07:07]
Rob Shooter
Would it say, what would it say if the King was given a heads up on a private citizen who has been accused of abusing his power because he's part of the elite? It would look terrible. The optics would look absolutely terrible if the King had any heads up here. So they did this behind the King's back. I think too, there was a fear that Andrew might flee. We've, we've talked about him looking into the Middle East. It's not that unusual. The former King of Spain is in, in the Middle east after he fled the country. And so there are places in this world, unfortunately, where these rogue royals, if they can get out and they can get there, can still live very well.
- [07:46]
Maureen Callahan
This, to me also says, I just think it's a terrible look for King Charles. You, you, you just told me before we came to air that the King says that he will not abdicate.
- [07:59]
Rob Shooter
No, absolutely not. So this has been a big, big discussion today in Britain. It's gonna get louder. My, my insiders in the palace tell me all day long there's been emergency meetings, phone calls, zoom calls. The Queen's been on them, William's been on them, Princess Anne too, has been on them, and their younger brother, Prince Edward, that we don't talk about enough. They've all rallied behind the King for the moment. He thinks he truly believes that he is King because God ordained it. God wanted him to be king. And when you were taught that from the day you were born, you have a really perverted, a really different view of the world. So this is a job he wanted, what, for 70 years, he's finally got it. But I think, too, and this is interesting, William, who's coming at us as the hero of this messy situation.
- [08:47]
Maureen Callahan
Yes.
- [08:48]
Rob Shooter
William knows that if there's an abdication right now, the crisis only increases. They're looking for some stability. What I'm hearing is absolutely no abdication now. But maybe in six months, maybe when this Andrew mess is sorted, maybe after he has been found guilty, maybe after he's been found innocent. We don't know what the result is gonna be. But then the royal family at this moment, they need to circle the wagons. They can't have a throne without a king on it. And. And so I think for the moment, he's going to stay put.
- [09:22]
Maureen Callahan
This is. This is what I predict. First of all, several things. You know, as you mentioned, Prince Edward is married to a woman who worked in public relations. So I would hope that she would be in on those phone calls. We know that William has been greatly frustrated with his father and his inertia, his conflict avoidance. If you think God really ordained you to be king, then you should think God would have equipped you with the ability to make some necessary decisions in order to save the very throne that you. You have lusted after lo many years. And, you know, so off he goes. The day that Willie. That Andrew is arrested. Excuse me. That Andrew is arrested. To London Fashion Week, where he sits at a fashion show, front row, next to none other than Stella McCartney and Rob. I don't know about you, but I think this is a terrible look because Epstein was trafficking models, okay? The modeling industry is rife with this shit. And by the way, Naomi Campbell's in for it, too. She's implicated in this shit. This is the last place I would put the king.
- [10:22]
Rob Shooter
Maureen, you are so right about this. The only thing worse about this fashion show is that Naomi Campbell could have been walking in it. She wasn't, thank goodness. But I think that what the palace is doing. And they're always so clumsy about this. They want to show that the king is not hiding, that he's getting on with his daily life. However, the king has never been to a fashion show before. Ever. So to suddenly decide to go to a fashion show today, which is really a central pillar of the Epstein case. You know, I worked with a ton of celebrities, including in the introduction, Princess Michael of Kent. Well, let me be full disclosure here. I also was. I was Naomi Campbell's publicist for many years. Here.
- [11:00]
Maureen Callahan
Sympathies.
- [11:01]
Rob Shooter
And I met Jeffrey Epstein backstage at a Victoria Secret show.
- [11:06]
Maureen Callahan
What year was this?
- [11:07]
Rob Shooter
This was in the early 2000s, what, 20 years ago. And I was backstage at Victoria's Secrets with Naomi. Not easy. And Jeffrey Epstein is very unusual. That place was on lockdown. It was very hard to. To get backstage. They didn't want people back there. Jeffrey was backstage. Naomi knew him. So she's now saying that she didn't. But, you know, maybe the most famous British supermodel of all time, Naomi Campbell,
- [11:33]
Maureen Callahan
a groundbreaking supermodel, you know, aside from Iman. But she's had, I think, a longer career than Iman as the first true, true black, high fashion supermodel who still works today. And she's been photographed with Epstein. You cannot lie your way out of a photograph. Andrew tried, it didn't work.
- [11:54]
Rob Shooter
Yeah, I can't. I. I just. It puzzles me, the palace here today. He would have been better off going to Starbucks. They couldn't find a hospital he could go to.
- [12:04]
Maureen Callahan
Exactly.
- [12:05]
Rob Shooter
Just a stroll in the park. Just go and have a stroll in the park. Like if we need to get a photograph of you today to prove that you're not hiding. And that's what they're doing here. I was a publicist for a long time. They don't want to look as if the king is out of commission. The king is in hiding. The king has something to hide from the public. So they were looking for an event. There are many charities in Britain. There are many soup kitchens, There are many homeless shelters. There are many hospitals. There are many children's organizations. Go there. Don't go to London Fashion Week, maybe.
- [12:36]
Maureen Callahan
Also don't go to children's hospitals. Right now, I would say, because the Daily Mirror is reporting on a few blockbuster stories that are just beyond the pale, one of which just posted that Andrew is accused. This. This is part of an FBI file from July 2020, I believe. He is accused of watching a young girl between the ages of 6 and 8 be tortured with electric shocks. He is. It is stated in this file that the person doing the torture was. Was Ghislaine Maxwell. The same article reports. Now they say the second graph then says a woman, not a girl. So I don't know if this was something that they were doing often with different victims, but that one of these torture sessions took place. This I'm reading from the piece. The allegation which emerged in the Epstein files released just weeks ago, asserts that the electric shocks were administered at 4 Frogmore Cottage in Windsor, Berkshire. This is where Harry and Meghan used to live. They are not implicated in this in any, any way. But I'm Saying, you know, how does the King survive this for real, Rob, if this is true, I don't know if he does.
- [13:49]
Rob Shooter
Because the question is what did he know and when did he know it?
- [13:52]
Maureen Callahan
Exactly.
- [13:53]
Rob Shooter
And he's not gonna answer that. And also too Andrew, who's a slippery devil, Andrew's been using that to get his own way. People say, why did Charles not cut him off? And I told everybody, because he knows everything. Andrew knows everything. And an unleashed Andrew and Andrew in jail is even more dangerous. That's why the King has been really careful here. If it comes to light, if it is proved that torture, the trafficking happened in a royal palace, this doesn't just shut down the King, this could shut down the family. Maureen, I'm not being over dramatic here. In my lifetime, I've never ever seen a crisis as big as this for the palace. Even when Princess Diana died and for that week it looked a little wobbly, the Queen wouldn't come back from Balmoral. She wouldn't lower the flag. Eventually she did and she did rebuild trust. This needs a whole new fresh start. William and Kate are the future of this family and everybody else are implicated. This is important though too, and I love when we talk about it because we get deep on your show. Who's paying for his defense? I hit the phones. Who's going to pay for ant? It's going to be multi million dollars. This is going to be a really detailed, tough legal case. He doesn't have any money. Part of the reason, apart from the fact he was a pervert, part of the reason he was with Jeffrey Epstein was for the money. Who's paying for this? If the King gives one penny to his brother's defense, all bets are off. The Brits will.
- [15:18]
Maureen Callahan
He can't. He absolutely cannot.
- [15:20]
Rob Shooter
But he gave a million to the lawsuit to settle against Virginia Jew Free. So when Andrew paid that $12 million in the civil case, 1 million of that came from the King.
- [15:33]
Maureen Callahan
I mean, my jaw is on the floor over the, over this stuff. The Daily Mail is also reporting that not only Fergie, who is now in hiding and who it seems like is trying to arrange her own flight out of the country because she's probably next, let's get real, slept with Jeffrey Epstein and was wildly in love with him. This is per the Daily Mirror. I mean, it just. These people are so disgusting. And Fergie, as we know in a correspondence with Epstein, was writing about her daughter Eugenie going to New York to have a quote, shagging weekend.
- [16:11]
Rob Shooter
Yeah, it's just disgusting. This is why this story's not going away. This will end up being one of the most disgusting, most disturbing crimes in world history. Not, not just American history, but Fergie is an interesting person here. She's long time been a grifter. She's not really had a job for many, many decades. But I hit the phones and I spoke to some sources and legal sources and police sources in Britain. My father was a policeman. My sister was a police horse. And so I know police people pretty well. I grew up around, around police people. So I spoke to my sources in London and they told me that Fergie's already spoken to the police and they probably won't arrest her because she will be a witness.
- [16:54]
Maureen Callahan
So she's flipped for her own security so that she will avoid. This is unbelievable. I have to imagine that Prince William is enraged at the moment. Enraged.
- [17:09]
Rob Shooter
And not just that, his uncle, who he. His dad.
- [17:12]
Maureen Callahan
That's what I mean. That's exactly what I mean.
- [17:14]
Rob Shooter
Yes. Such. I hope I can say this word on your show. He's such a pussy. He's just.
- [17:18]
Maureen Callahan
He is.
- [17:19]
Rob Shooter
He's just such a weak man. He's just got no spine. And now this has bit him in the bottom. And the job that he wanted all his life, he could potentially lose. I think he, he should lose that job at the moment.
- [17:30]
Maureen Callahan
I do too.
- [17:31]
Rob Shooter
I think it's over. I think you've. You've ruined hundreds and hundreds of years of history by doing nothing. You knew about it and you didn't think.
- [17:40]
Maureen Callahan
We're looking at, we are looking at a monarchy that saw, you know, Henry VIII behead two of his wives, Queen Anne, throw her sister, Queen Elizabeth in the tower and threaten to kill her.
- [17:52]
Rob Shooter
Yes.
- [17:52]
Maureen Callahan
You know, but this, this, this almost makes that stuff look quaint. You know, it happened so long ago and people were crazy then and, you know, but like this, this feels deliberate. It feels heartless. It feels complicit. It feels so beyond criminality. I don't know how you can have Charles. They're supposed to come to the United States this summer for the 250th anniversary of American independence. He's not gonna be welcome here. He's not.
- [18:24]
Rob Shooter
No, no. It's a real curse here. And let me just put this into some sort of historical perspective. The only king, the only king that has been thrown off the throne and murdered, killed, beheaded, was King Charles the first. So these King Charles have to be really, really careful. It's just a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions. I know. I'm Sounding dramatic. I know I'm sounding over the top. I was just in Britain last week. Everybody was talking about Andrew. Nobody, nobody, including Andrew, thought he was going to be arrested. I have a story breaking on my sub stack soon that says just two days ago he was demanding that his horses get transferred from the Royal Lodge to Sandrington. He is missing his horses. They only have racehorses at Sandrington and he wanted his horses that he could ride in the Clueless. He's absolutely clueless. He had applied to a local golf club to become a member just a few weeks ago. And now, thankfully, his world has been turned upside down. I'm hoping my reporting is right here. Not for my sake, but for the royals. Insiders are telling me it's over. They're not gonna pay a visit to him. They're not gonna pay a penny to him. Andrew is now on his own. He might even get kicked out of this house. They don't wanna.
- [19:45]
Maureen Callahan
He has to.
- [19:47]
Rob Shooter
He has to.
- [19:48]
Maureen Callahan
Now, you said earlier that Charles is afraid of Andrew because an enraged Andrew will spill everything. What do you think, Rob, is the worst that Andrew could do? What's the worst thing he could say?
- [20:01]
Rob Shooter
I think he could say my brother knew all this was going on. Everybody knew. He wasn't subtle about it. He wasn't sly about it. He was sneaking girls, young girls, into Buckingham Palace.
- [20:15]
Maureen Callahan
There are photos of Jeffrey and Ghislaine sitting on thrones in Buckingham Palace.
- [20:20]
Rob Shooter
Yeah, everybody knew that Palace. I know people that work in that Palace. It is the best gay bar in London. Maureen.
- [20:26]
Maureen Callahan
Is it really?
- [20:27]
Rob Shooter
All the staff are gay.
- [20:28]
Maureen Callahan
How do we get in?
- [20:29]
Rob Shooter
They're all goose. They're all gossipy gooses. They all go out to the bars and have a good chat. Go to a gay bar in Soho and you'll meet somebody who worked at the Palace, I guarantee you, and they'll tell you everything. Everybody on staff knew this. Andrew had a name and it's a British term. We don't use it in America, but I'll explain it. They called him Wally Windsor. Wally? In Britain, if you're a wally, you're a buffoon, you're a fool, you're an idiot. And that's what Andrew was. But maybe even worse than that. He was devious, he was demented, he was perverted and he got away with it. And maybe his brother was complicit.
- [21:08]
Maureen Callahan
You know, you're so right about this, because what this makes me think of is the John F. Kennedy White House and the Secret Service knew everything. JFK was up to. Because they were the ones who had to get these women in and out without Jackie knowing. So the entire. You're so right. The entire staff, that entire apparatus knows and has known this entire time, which makes the idea that Charles would not have been given a heads up inconceivable to me. Utterly inconceivable.
- [21:37]
Rob Shooter
It's inconceivable.
- [21:39]
Maureen Callahan
And now you've got one of the most recent images that we have seen of Andrew attempting to force his way in and I think cut off his nephew's chances at saving this monarchy. Remember that photo of him wedging his way in between William and Kate and trying to talk to William and make sure that was recorded and memorialized. And William wanted nothing to do with it. And I think that he is such a danger, such an existential, immediate threat to the future of the British monarchy that there is no choice. Charles will have to abdicate. You're right. It may not be tomorrow. It'll be maybe in six months time. He'll cite his health. That's what he'll do. The health will be the reason. And William will ascend. And people want William and Catherine. That is what they want.
- [22:25]
Rob Shooter
They do. Turn Buckingham palace into a museum. Still do the pomp and circumstances that the public love. Move to a private townhouse. Be like the small Swedish royal family. Scale back. Don't take money from the taxpayers. Start paying your own taxes here. There's lots of changes that I think William's going to do. And Charles could have done this and he chose not to. Some people misguidedly are saying he was just being loyal to his brother. That's not true. He was just being weak. He was just being pathetic. People knew about this. It was going on in Buckingham Palace. It's one of the hardest buildings to get in and out of in London, even if you will remember the of the royal family. So they all knew who was coming in and out. They've all gossiped.
- [23:08]
Maureen Callahan
Who's bringing in whatever they're using to restrain a child and torture her with electrical shocks. What are they using?
- [23:16]
Rob Shooter
And if they're on government payroll, if they're on royal payroll, which they will have been. Some of the emails in the Epstein files that alarmed me the most was Epstein talked to one of Andrew's aides within the palace as if he worked for Epstein. And he demanded that they have meetings. He demanded that Andrew give private tours of Buckingham Palace. Epstein was in charge of Andrew. And although the sex, the perversion was a big part of it, my insiders tell me that this foolish, vain prince was treated like a king by Jeffrey Epstein. And he loved it in Britain. He was always the spare. He was always in the shadow of his brother with Geoffrey. Geoffrey was a master manipulator and he manipulated Andrew. And Andrew's vanity and ego was so fragile that he let this happen. And in the process, he could bring down the House of Windsor.
- [24:09]
Maureen Callahan
You know, this reminds me of Diana's Panorama interview, which is problematic, as we now know, for many reasons. But in that interview, she famously said, charles does not have what it takes for what she called the top job. And at the time, everybody thought, this is a bitter, aggrieved, scorned woman who, who is getting her revenge. But she was right.
- [24:31]
Rob Shooter
Right. She's absolutely right. You know, every job in the world, most jobs in the world, you go through particularly big jobs like that. You go through an interview process. You're not born into those jobs. There's something fundamentally wrong with the system here. Your monarchy is only as strong as your luck. You gotta have good luck. You gotta hope that the right one is born first. I think about it, what would happen if Harry was the oldest?
- [24:53]
Maureen Callahan
It would definitely be over.
- [24:55]
Rob Shooter
Be over. And that would just be a fate, a twist of fate. What would happen if Anne had been born first? It would have been a very different monarchy. She wouldn't have tolerated this nonsense. And so to, to, to gamble.
- [25:08]
Maureen Callahan
Well, if Anne had been born first, they didn't change that until William and Catherine.
- [25:12]
Rob Shooter
It was the first.
- [25:13]
Maureen Callahan
And William and Catherine pushed for that, that no matter the gender, the firstborn would.
- [25:16]
Rob Shooter
And if you ever wonder why there's so few queens of England and so many kings, it's because it was the firstborn boy, not the firstborn child. So if you were a girl, if a brother came after you, you weren't. You weren't queen, he was the king. And so they fixed that. They've got to really now look at the system. You know, Maureen, I've been a royalist my whole life. We grew up in my house that on Christmas Day, when the Queen was on the telly, we stood up and saluted like I grew up from a little boy. Just watching her at 2 o' clock on Christmas Day, she addressed the nation. We had a picture of the Queen in my house. If I'm now at the point where I think this institution doesn't work anymore, I think there's gotta be changes. I can only imagine what everybody else is thinking.
- [26:00]
Maureen Callahan
In America, too, we have such a, such a relationship with the British royal family. I mean, there's a reason that they are a constant topic of conversation here. And, you know, I remember as a little girl getting up at the crack of dawn so I could watch Diana's wedding live. I was one of hundreds of thousands, if not millions of little girls around the world who did that. And we don't wanna see it. Sorry, we don't wanna see it abolished, we don't wanna see it destroyed. But I do think that William is the only hope. And I just. As somebody who has worked for the Royals, who has deep sources within both the palace and the police and the Pubs, what is it about Charles? What is it that makes him so constitutionally weak? Is it characterological? Did something happen to him? Was it waiting around for that job and his mother to die, which is a very strange thing. Was it. Was it allow. He allowed himself to get forced into marrying Diana. They had seen each other like six times by the time they got married. He allowed himself as a grown man to be. And then he whined about it like, well, they forced me. You're a grown man and you're supposed to be the king. What is it with him?
- [27:09]
Rob Shooter
He literally is the king. He can decide what happens and he just can't pull the trigger. He just can't do it. He dithers. He's always been a ditherer.
- [27:20]
Maureen Callahan
And I think he's very Shakespearean. He's like Hamlet. He's a ditherer.
- [27:24]
Rob Shooter
Just a ditherer. And you want to shake him and tell him, you can do really whatever you want. You're the king. Pick the right thing to do. He's always been a ditherer. He's always doubted himself. I don't think his mom and dad raised him for this job. And so the mom never taught him what the job was. She was so consumed in doing it herself and doing it beautifully. May I add that she never took him under her wing like an apprentice, like. Like someone she could mentor.
- [27:52]
Maureen Callahan
And Andrew was always her favorite.
- [27:54]
Rob Shooter
That was her favorite.
- [27:55]
Maureen Callahan
And the rumor about Andrew is that he. That he is not Philip's son.
- [27:59]
Rob Shooter
It's very Harry.
- [28:01]
Maureen Callahan
He's one of her horse riders. It's very Harry.
- [28:03]
Rob Shooter
Very Harry.
- [28:04]
Maureen Callahan
And perhaps that was the overcompensation if. If that. If he wasn't really Philip's son.
- [28:09]
Rob Shooter
And I was told by a really senior royal source who is no longer with us, an elderly gentleman. The reason that the Queen was so sympathetic towards Andrew is she had a very, very open heart about the spare because she was not meant to be the queen. Her uncle abdicated and her father, with the stutter, he became king and her life changed. And her sister Margaret's life was ruined by that twist of fate. And so she looked at these boys and you think, when you're growing up, you want to be a prince, you want to be a princess. I wouldn't do it for all the money in the world. William here is an absolute hero. He's the future of the monarchy. This is the only strong, only silver lie and balls. Are you like, he's going to burn that place down. He's going to fix it in a way that his dad and even his grandmother never could.
- [29:04]
Maureen Callahan
It's something that the world is dying to see. Is hungry. Just wanting to see real strong leadership, like a real man come in there and fix this shit. Oh, and by the way, this. If I were at Netflix, I would be calling the showrunner at the Crown and being like, we're reviving this thing immediately.
- [29:23]
Rob Shooter
We'll do it. We'll write it.
- [29:24]
Maureen Callahan
Maureen, you and I. Yeah, let's just do it. Let's do what other people won't. That's what we're here for. At the Nerve. Love you. Rob, thank you for joining on this breaking bombshell of a story that is only going to get worse.
- [29:35]
Rob Shooter
Thanks for having me. See you soon.
- [29:37]
Maureen Callahan
See you soon, Rob.
- [29:39]
Commercial Announcer
Wow.
- [29:39]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, after. That was a lot. That was a lot. Okay. Coming up, we've got updates on the Puppy poll. Puppy bowl. Marlena's puns are now, like infiltrating my own head. We've got your feedback. We are going to be back in a minute. Are you one of the many Americans who wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom repeatedly? Most people chalk that up to just getting older, but a new report is calling that assumption into question. Researchers have uncovered an oft overlooked cause behind nighttime trips to the bathroom. It's something many doctors rarely discuss, and it may have very little to do with your bladder. This report breaks down what could really be triggering nighttime urgency. Why? The common advice misses the mark. And this also offers a simple, practical approach to support better bladder control so people can actually sleep again through the night. Visit getnativepath.com nerve to read the full article right now and decide for yourself if your sleep is getting disrupted. If you are waking up tired, foggy, or just plain aggravated the next day, this is absolutely worth reading. That site again is getnativepath.com nerve. That's G E T N A T I V E p a t h.com n e r v e ondeck is
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Rob Shooter
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Maureen Callahan
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Rob Shooter
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- [32:05]
Maureen Callahan
We are back with your feedback. Now, before we dive in, I saw this story. I sent it to Marlena. You know, a new puppy is going to be here like by tomorrow and we're going to talk about that new puppy's name. But I want in my crosshairs anyone who abuses animals. I mean your garbage, your trash, you're just expelled from polite society. This monster, this what passes for a human being. This woman was trying to board a plane at Harry Reid Airport in Las Vegas. But she was told that her two year old goldendoodle did not possess, or this owner rather, did not possess the proper service dog documentation to get on the flight. So what does she do? She tied the dog by his leash to the ticket counter and she walked away to get on the plane. I don't know what's going on in the, in society and culture. I really, really don't. So anyway, the cops came. She wasn't allowed to board the plane, this idiot. And the cops came and they were like, what the fuck are you doing? And she said, well, what's the problem? And they said, that's your dog over there that you tied up and abandoned at the front desk so that you could get on a plane. What do you mean what's the problem? And she said, what's the problem? My dog's chipped. Somebody will just get it, send it to the vet and find me and I'll get the dog back. This woman has been arrested and this was the result I wanted to see. It was buried at the bottom of the piece. It should have been at the top because my heart was in my throat this entire time. There was no way this dog could go back to this woman. This, in the end, is probably the best thing that could have happened to this animal because God knows what else this monster would have done to this poor little dog. But the animal has now been placed with a no kill shelter. Who is going to adopt it out? This nameless, faceless cretin goes right. The woodshed now has a Lena Dunham wing. Lena Dunham wing. Trust me, we're going to be all over Lena Dunham when she starts doing her media tour for her book. Now, I'm going to be reading troublemaker feedback off of my laptop because we're having a technical issue with our printer. And I said to Marlena, marlena, I can't throw paper, but we will make do. First up, Paul sent in very special artwork. You know, several of you faithful troublemakers have been encouraging us here at team Nerve. You're like, you know, your hundredth episode is coming up. And it is next Tuesday is the Nerve's 100th episode. We're so proud of our little baby, the nerve. And so Paul sent what I consider a class photo, a class portrait. And on top of it, it says to the woodshed. And the. The offenders herein are too numerous to name. But Paul made a note that pyro Ryan Reynolds is bound, gagged and chained. No fire risk. Best that he is inside the woodshed, says Paul. Then outside of it. And who am I to disagree? Okay, this came from troublemaker Natalie, who. I'm sorry, I've been mispronouncing your name because Natalie spells it with an h, but it really is just. You pronounce it Natalie. New puppy's name. She would suggest Mark Bolen or bark Bolen to honor Mark Bolin of T. Rex. She says steady Van Halen may be funny on the spur of the moment, but no fur baby should inherit a ghost's name. Speaking about Marlena, regarding puns, I'd like to ask you a favor. Just as she asked you to hold back your punches on Bill Maher, I would like to see you go softer on Timothy Shyamalama Ding dong. She wrote his full name here. Natalie. I can't help myself. I adore you. Natalie. I don't know that I can do this favor for you. I will try, but I don't. It's. You know, the Oscars are coming up, and he is not acquitting himself. Well, I know he was. He just did an interview and he spoke flawless French. So, you know I got to give him that. So perhaps that's where your misguided request is coming from. But we still love you, Natalie. Not to worry. Okay? Dear Maureen, this is from troublemaker Anna in London. She loved the mini nerve. She says, I am obsessed with JFK Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. I watched the first three episodes of Ryan Murphy's Love Story. She reminds me of a more meaning Carolyn, a more professional and stylish Megan, whom I detest. Agreed, Anna. We loved that. Sunny. Greetings from Cape Town. And this one comes replete with doggy photos. Now this, this, this. Actually, this troublemaker wrote in the voice of their dog, Sunny. Okay? His dog, Sunny. I am an almost three year old, caramel colored, wired hair, wire haired troublemaker living with my two doggy sisters and two human dads in Cape Town, South Africa. I know you like to call your followers troublemakers, but I get called that for different reasons. Anyway, my human dads have been fans and followers of the Nerve since episode one. We love this. Since neither of them has the nerve. Get it. To write to you, I thought I'd take it upon myself. Keep up the good work about real talk about fake people. We need more of that. That's why we're here. I am attaching a photo of myself, Sunny writes, and my two doggy sisters, obviously, since we're all so adorable. And you are. From left to right, it's me, my oldest sister, Bella, and my younger sis, Vicky. Much love and doggy kisses from Sunny. Maureen. Subject line. Cheryl Hines. I struggled to listen to Cheryl Hines on Joe Rogan. Halfway through the interview, her phone was out and started buzzing. Here's the deal. Whenever you're doing a media hit like that, the phone goes off. At least it goes on silent. At least it goes on airplane mode. This troublemaker's dead on. Wow. Bobby was calling. It's just like when Marlena went to the 92nd Street Y to see Oprah and Gail and they were chatting about it was their 50th anniversary of their friendship, of the inception of their friendship. And suddenly Oprah's phone starts. Her phone starts buzzing and she looks down or her Apple watch starts buzzing and Gail's like, whoever is that? Oops. And Oprah's like, oh, my God, it's Stedman. It's just Steadman checking in. Okay, okay. George Glass. Stedman. You know. Anyway, this troublemaker writes, Cheryl takes the call on speaker and they end up closing with I loves you, I love yous. Felt pretty orchestrated to me. Dead on. Hi, Maureen. This is from troublemaker Ann. Something seemed creepy and familiar about Meghan grabbing and rubbing Harry's arm at the NBA All Star game. Here's what my research reveals. There's a scene in Sex in the City. Actually, this was a running gag. In an episode, Charlotte learns she can influence her then boyfriend, Trey McDougal, played by Kyle McLaughlin, who I love Kyle McLaughlin. Placing her hand on his forearm to guide his decision making, she says to him, maybe we should get married. And with the hand on his arm, he agrees. Do we think this is one of Megan's learns from satc? I think it might be name for your new puppy. This is from troublemaker John, who writes, my wife Arianda and I love your show. Thanks. He puts it as hours of scandalized laughter. I love that phrase. We may have to adopt it. John, we had to submit a suggestion to name Teddy's new pal. How is Ned Zeppelin? Very clever. Okay, now my vote. I got several of these. And this is from, by the way, Andy Kiwi, who is always very active in the live chats at the Nerve show. Nerve, nearly episode 100. Andy writes, Troublemakers in the live chat are excited, excited about the coming hundredth episode. In fact, Andy writes, I have invited the live troublemakers to New Zealand for a party at Andy's house at their expense. Would a troublemaker do it any other way? Andy writes, not steady. Do not use a name associated with Oprah and Gail as it could be a jinx. He likes the name Wolfie, named after Wolfgang Van Halen, who is Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli's child. Grown adult son, also a guitarist. And by the way, I told this to Marlena and she said to me, and I'm not trying to shame you, Marlena. Valerie Bertinelli was married to Eddie Van Halen. I was like, do I have to furlough you at the moment? Okay, now this is a great one. This is from someone named Joy, who I believe this is a pseudonym. Wow, Maureen, you come off as a true shrew with your slice and dice evaluation of John and Caroline. It's misspelled spelled. Caroline's the sister. Carolyn is the wife. Who appointed you as the expert on the subject? I mean, I did. I did. Not only were you screeching throughout your show, I'm guilty as charged. Sometimes I do really get worked up. But you seem to think that your opinions are fact. I mean, I would disagree with this because when I am offering my opinion, I always say it's just my opinion. I kept having to turn the volume down just to get through your show. So this is a hate watcher. This is definitely a hate watcher. You're getting more and more this way on virtually every show you've done recently. It is incredibly unpleasant to watch. What the hell is up with you and Megyn Kelly? Nothing. Anyway, I'm going to stomach your show a bit longer. Thank you. Thanks. Thanks so much. Really, really motivated by that text. Okay, now this is from troublemaker Janet. She found it very funny when I declared that we cannot have an arsonist in the woodshed because it is a fire hazard. She, on the other hand, is enjoying our evaluations slash critiques slash cultural commentary on the JFK Jr. And Carolyn Bessette Ryan Murphy show. She hadn't. She planned to watch it, but hasn't and says she would have been so angry to see Jackie O in this light if I had not listened to you first. To Prepare me Janet's P.S. i actually have a woodshed. In awe, Janet in awe. Okay, now we have winnowed down your many brilliant, brilliant, brilliant suggestions for this puppy's new name and we're going to do a second follow up poll on Instagram going up today asking you guys to vote on the final, final. And also please leave your thoughts in the comments. Okay, these are your suggestions. Number one, Mackie O spelled M A C K I E O. I think this is adorable, but I don't think day to day practicality would apply here. Now, in keeping with the Van Halen theme, instead of David Lee Roth, David Lee Ruff, which is really cute. R U F F or David Lee Fluff, also very cute. One of my God children suggested this name Bear and some of you have too, with the idea that there's Teddy and there's Bear and it's Teddy Bear and that's pretty adorable. And then some of you also suggested Trouble, which I think could be like a good sort of nickname. You know, I don't think I would want to saddle the little guy with like a name that connotes in any way. Even though we all love Trouble at the Nerve and we're all troublemakers, like I would always want him to feel happy when his name is called. We at the Nerve also were talking right before today's show because Marlena finally got word that the actual physical award that we ordered for the Nerve Awards, which aired in December, we're going into March and it's finally on the way. And that award was purchased for brother Craig, Michelle Obama's long suffering brother who's terrified of her. And it's finally in the air. It's finally airborne, on its way to Nerve hq. And then we were like, you know, Brother Craig, that's kind of a good name. But that would be a good name for a lap dog. And again, I can't have any kind of negativity around this, this poor, innocent creature because, you know, not that there's anything negative about Brother Craig. If anything, we want to extract Brother Craig from the IMO podcast and from Michelle Obama's imminent vicinity. Like, we just, he needs to get out of there. Marlena wrote the following. Humor me with these names. She's laughing in my ear, Pa McCartney. And she said, you don't like that? And I said, well, I can't call a dog Paul. Like, unless, like, then it would be like Pa, like Pa Ingalls. That would just be weird. Paul McCartney. This is very clever. Palm Petty said. Tom Petty. But again, I can't call him Palm. He's a Palm. Jon Palm Jovi. Fun. Sebastian Bark for Sebastian Bach from Skid Row. She said, she said she was. I was like, what?
- [47:15]
Commercial Announcer
You.
- [47:15]
Maureen Callahan
Listen, you're a hair metal fan. She's like, I don't know what Apple feeds me, but yes. Okay. Anyway, Marlene is going to join us at the end of the show for a banger. A banger. You're going to die. Please keep your feedback coming. Email me at maureenevilmaycaremedia.com or DM me on Instagram at Maureen callahanriter or at the Nerve show. And remember to subscribe to the Nerves. The Nerves. Excuse me. Hilarious. Substack. This is our weekly email which is full of bonus content, troublemaker talk, my recommendations, all the stuff we couldn't fit into a week of shows or a near week of shows. This is over. Go over to thenerveshow.com you will see a prompt that says, basically, would you like to sign up for the Nerve substack? Put in your email address, click yes, submit and that's it. Every Friday at 3pm Eastern after the week's last full nerve, you get like, bonus content. It's super fun. Up next, Vogue is dying. Vogue is dying. Anna Wintour said she was leaving. She is never leaving. She is dragging around a very sad, very beta, very unprepared, unglamorous Nepo spawn as her chosen successor and throwing her to the wolves that are known as the national media. And it. This is. This is fashion victims at. At. It's a fashion victim at Personified. Fashion victim personified. Okay. And this is this Nepo Spawn has a real lineage. You're not going to believe it. Okay, we will see you in a minute. Gaining and losing weight can wreak havoc on the body. Doctors call it weight cycling. That is when you lose 10 or so pounds, but then you put them right back on, plus a couple of more. It is so tough on the body and it can also just be really frustrating. The bottom line is that most people need help losing weight. A great way to consider doing so is non prescription Lean. Created by doctors, Lean is an oral supplement, not an injection. The science behind it is really impressive. The studied ingredients target weight loss in three powerful ways. Lean helps maintain healthy blood sugar. Two, it helps control appetite and cravings. And three, it helps burn fat by converting it to energy. And burning fat helps to keep weight off. If you would like to lose a meaningful amount at a healthy pace and keep it off, add lean to your diet and exercise profile. Get 20% off when you enter code nerve@takelean.com. that's code nerve at Take Lean.
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- [50:47]
Maureen Callahan
We are back. Now, Anna Wintour is not leaving Vogue, okay? They're going to take her out feet first in a box. It's not happening. It's her only reason for living. Truly just my opinion, but you know, she announced that she was going to ascend to an overseeing role at Conde. I mean, she oversees everything at Conde Nast except the New Yorker. And she chose hand chose as her successor someone named Chloe Mal. Now, Chloe and Anna have been doing the media rounds and it kind of has the vibe of like your mother not letting you walk to school by yourself. Like you're old enough to walk to school by yourself, to go to class by yourself, but she will not leave your side. And Chloe, Now, Chloe is the daughter of Candace Bergen, who Was a famous herself. She was a Nepo. Her father was Edgar Bergen. He was a famous ventriloquist. But Candace was very beautiful as a young woman. She was a model first and then she became an actress. And she was most famous for her titular sitcom role as Murphy Brown, a reporter named Murphy Brown. Fun fact, JFK Jr. Once did a cameo on Murphy Brown to promote his then new magazine, George, which was a disaster. And then her father, Chloe's father was Louis Mal, a very famous French Oscar winning director. These two produced a charisma vacuum. She is dour, she is dismal. I'm sorry, this is applicable because we are talking about Vogue. She is unglamorous. She looks like a refugee from 1940s Germany just put a babushka over her head. That's it. That's it. Now the Daily Mail, before we get to these clips that are just devastating, had an amazing story the other day about what Vogue insiders really think about Chloe. And it's not good. Okay? It's not good. While she thought it was probably the right appointment, a source told the Mail. Anna is probably like, what have I done? Listen, here's my theory. I think Anna Wintour is taking a page right out of the Bob Iger playbook. As you know, Bob Iger is the head of Disney and he's always retiring. And in fact, he actually did retire, but he what he did. This is just the supposition of business reporters who follow this guy for a living. Tapped as his number two or promoted, hand picked his successor. A guy who was never going to be able to do anything close to what Bob Iger did. And it got so bad that the board begged Bob Iger to come back and he was like, all right, if you really want me to. You know what I mean? And he's doing it all over again now. He said he's going to leave again. You know, it's like Jamie Dimon over JP Morgan Chase. Like there are some people who just never ever are going to leave and I should just lean into it, just be like, listen, I'm not going anywhere. Nothing is going to save Vogue, okay? And certainly not this pick. Now Radar Online was also reporting that the body language at, at this interview with Chloe and Anna, first we're going to look at the one that they did for the New York Times. It's a video interview. And Anna is none too subtle. She never has been. But first of all, Chloe's going to talk about her qualifications to take on this role. And by the way, if Vogue Dies. Like, that's kind of it. That's kind of it. Like it really is going to just send the mesh the message. Excuse me, that fashion will never be what it once was. And I think that part of the reason the JFK junior Carolyn Bessette show on Hulu is drawing such an audience is because that was the last time fashion really mattered in the 90s. It really mattered. And those of us who were there and lived through the 90s, especially in New York City, if you were in media or anything like that, you are creative. It's missed. That is missed. And Anna helped kill it. And I'll tell you exactly when she did it. But let's look at Chloe talking about why she is the person for this job. Here we go.
- [55:24]
Chloe Mal
Sometimes in fashion, people can feel too
- [55:27]
Rob Shooter
cool,
- [55:29]
Chloe Mal
unavailable, a bit laconic. And for me, I'm just never going to be that person.
- [55:38]
Maureen Callahan
She fundamentally misunderstands the assignment. Chloe fundamentally understands what it is not only to be a fashion editor, but a fashion editor of a magazine that once set the rules, like Anna Wintour made fashion designers. Marc Jacobs does not become Marc Jacobs. Without Anna Wintour, John Galliano doesn't get a second chance, doesn't get an attempt to redeem himself. Without Anna Wintour, the late Alexander McQueen couldn't understand why Anna Wintour wouldn't cover him. He was like, what is it going to take? I'm a genius. He was right. She eventually did have to cover him. She did it in a very nasty way. But, you know, McQueen was one of a kind, you know, Anyway, that's the power that Anna wielded. And when you look at an Anna Wintour, she understands the assignment. A fashion editor needs to have a big personality. They need to have a distinctive look and branding. They are the face of the magazine. People want high fashion to be aspirational, Chloe. We don't want it to be like everything else that you can get at TJ Maxx. And Chloe screams TJ Maxx Special. She does. She does. There's nothing inspirational about her or aspirational about her. And she doesn't want to be. I want a Karine Roitveld running French Vogue, or an Emmanuel Alt or a Diana Vreeland or. We've got to throw this in here. The woman who was the editor of the fictional magazine in Funny Face, the amazing Audrey Hepburn fashion movie Funny Face, which I've probably seen 100 times, and you have this editor come in. I forget who she was played by. Her name escapes me, but she was actually an author and she got cast in this as the fashion editor. I think she was the woman who wrote the Eloise books. And I don't think she ever acted before or after that film, but she was incredible. And she was like this bold personality and one of the biggest. I don't normally love musicals, but I love Funny Face. And the opening number is Think Pink. You know, this editor decides that hot pink is going to be the color of the season. And so it is. And so it is. And then she decides that Audrey Hepburn, who plays this mousy little bookworm working in a bookshop in the East Village and is a beat at heart and just wants to get to Paris so she can meet some philosopher, you know, and this woman plucks her, she's like, you want to go to Paris? I'll send you to Paris, but I'll clean you up and make you a high fashion model. You want to be in that movie the Audrey Hepburn who's been made into a fashion model. You don't want to be the Audrey Hepburn who is working in the dusty, dingy bookshop, the basement bookshop in the East Village. Chloe wants to be the dingy Audrey. The rest of us want to be the fabulous Audrey. This is going to be a disaster. And I think Anna has. These are her Machiavellian moves. I think so. I think she wants Chloe to fall on her face so that the world can turn around and say, there's only one Anna Wintour. She's got to come back. Now Chloe's going to talk about the advice which is really the dictates that Anna Wintour gave her. Here we go.
- [59:17]
Chloe Mal
I want to know where is the you what makes this issue yours? Where are the weird dogs?
- [59:22]
Maureen Callahan
Was the exact quote.
- [59:25]
Chloe Mal
And it was very liberal because I do feel the pressure of carrying on this enormous legacy. But having Anna say that to me allowed me to think about. But what makes this exciting to me
- [59:39]
Maureen Callahan
right now, any great editor is going to have a strong personality and they see what they feel, what they think is going to be reflected across all of our platforms. I have no idea what Chloe Mal's point of view is. I have no idea what her personality is. She seems to lack a personality. You know, I was reading online, some people were saying, like, you know, who could have been a really good pick? Like a Lauren Santo Domingo. She could have been a good pick. You know. You know who could have been a good pick? The fucking Olsen twins. Think outside the box. This is not it. Chloe Mao is not the one. And it is utterly Contemptuous throughout this whole thing. Like, the body language right there was bad, but it gets worse. Chloe is asked by the New York Times, I mean, these are softballs after softballs. You know, they have media training over at Conde Nast. Anna Wintour has been in the public eye for decades. Her mother is an actress. You would think this woman would have anticipated what some of these questions were going to be or what answers she would like to give. You know, just because you're asked a question. I've learned this in media training. Just because you're asked a question doesn't mean you have to answer it. You just pivot around and you answer. You give the answer you want to give. This. This. This woman's a drip. She's a drip. Oh, and she also says in this interview, you know, she wants to remain approachable because she wants the other moms at the school run to be able to come up to her as if she's going to the school run with a job like this. That's what the nannies are for. And Chloe, people like, it's not the assignment. It's not the assignment. Anyway, Chloe, what inspires you?
- [61:21]
Chloe Mal
I am very inspired by what Vogue has been for a long time, and especially in the last 37 years. It's exciting to me. And I think that the people who I'm most excited by consistently are people who are really true to who they are and what excites them.
- [61:40]
Maureen Callahan
I don't even know what that means. That could. That is such a generic boilerplate answer. And Anna is, like, smirking and laughing at it, and she's, like, turning her body completely away and looking down at the floor. Anna would like to exit the frame. She would like to exit the frame. And if you look at Chloe's body language, like, she's kind of leaning in to Anna. Like, she's kind of, like, looking for, like, approbation. She's kind of looking to be like, I'm good, right? Like, I'm at your. I'm going to get to your level. Like, you do believe in me, right? And Anna's just like, I don't even know you. I don't know this woman. The New York Times asks what Chloe would do if she had a Vogue budget akin to, like, a 1990s Vogue budget, and Anna is going to disagree. If you did have the budget that Vogue had or another Conde Nast publication had in the late 90s, what would you do with it?
- [62:37]
Chloe Mal
You've got me excited thinking about this now. Sort of, what would I do? I had a whole new podcast studio. I would pay everyone 30% more. I would make sure the social team had more people on it because they're working all the time. I would have our app staffed more fully. We have so many ideas about shoots that we're excited about doing that take people on adventures, and those budgets would really help with that. And we are still finding ways to do these things, but, you know, there's always more you can be doing.
- [63:12]
Maureen Callahan
But to be clear, Jessica, we have a very healthy budget at Vogue, and how we use it and use our resources is constantly changing depending on the moment. So that was Anna basically negating everything that Chloe said. And she said, by the way, we have a very healthy budget. I don't believe you do. Nobody reads Vogue anymore. Nobody goes to Vogue for anything. Everybody is online. It's all about social media. It's all about Instagram trends, TikTok trends. Anna killed Vogue when she caved to pressure from Kanye and put Kim and Kanye on the COVID That was the moment that Vogue died. And then she took that corpse and ran over it three times with, like, a semi truck. When she put Lauren Sanchez, that great vulgarian, on the COVID of Vogue and had her photographed nesting in the enormous timepiece that's like the size of the Empire State Building that Jeff Bezos built underground at one of his compounds. It's dead, Anna. You killed it. And Chloe Mal is like you own Chloe. That's your legacy. That's your legacy. Here's. Let's look at everything Chloe Mal is shopping for this spring. Don't you want to know what Chloe Mal is going to be wearing so we can all replicate these electrifying new looks? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is on Vogue Shopping, the official site. Can we go back to that first image? That first image? She looks like a graduate student who just raided the bargain bin at Banana Republic. I mean, I weep. I weep for what once was high fashion. Okay, let's go to slide two. Oh, an argyle sweater, a navy button down, and a pair of jeans, florals for spring. Groundbreaking. Okay, slide three, please. Chloe says, I always like to look like a fancy version of a college student. You haven't achieved that. Look, my friend, argyle and button downs will never lead you astray. Okay, I'm just going to say something that nobody else is saying either. And this goes to. This all folds into everything we've been talking about. You know, Carolyn Bessette is again having this major, major, major moment as she's on every mood board, fashion inspiration, the epitome of 90s minimalist chic. You know, a good pair of jeans, a good loafer, a good black turtleneck, a good bag, a tortoise shell. Like, you know, what do you call those things that you. Whatever they push your hair back. Headband. And a pair of like Prada sunglasses. Okay, the deal is you could take every, every item I just described, but if you are not at least 5 foot 10 and a half inches tall, weighing 115 pounds with long blonde hair and blemish free pale skin, you will not look the same. You'll look as dumpy as Chloe looks. And I'm just gonna say it. Chloe looks dumpy. This is not who the editor of Vogue should be as discuss like the editor in chief of magazines. And I knew somebody like this, brilliant mind, brilliant, but couldn't do the public facing part of the job, actually didn't want any part of the public facing part of the job. And you won't last very long in a position like that because that is half of the job. You know, it would be like if I came on the nerve and dress like Chloe Mal with like no makeup and like my hair just like a mess. It would show no respect for you guys. Like none. I would never do that. Okay, now let's go to Chloe talking to another Nepo baby, Jenna Bush Hager over at the Today show. And at one point, Jenna Bush is like, you know, you and I have something in common. Like we both come from famous families. That's, it's, it's one charisma free, unattractive, vacuous, not super intelligent, completely uncompelling Nepo talking to another. And this is where this kind of stuff gets me angry, because there should be somebody far more talented sitting in Jenna's seat and that far more talented person, it shouldn't matter whether they have connections or not. And in fact, it's, you got to look for the people who don't have connections who are probably going to work a lot harder to prove themselves. Same thing with Chloe. That job should be filled by somebody who can actually do it, not somebody whose father was once the President of the United States and somebody whose mother was a famous star and father was a famous director. Jenna asks Chloe the existential, existential question I don't think Chloe can answer. What's your vision? What is your vision for this next iteration of Vogue, which is literally, it's comatose, it's on life support, and every doctor on the team has prognosis negative. To quote Seinfeld here We go for me.
- [69:00]
Chloe Mal
And I did go through a very long, laborious application process for this role.
- [69:07]
Maureen Callahan
Sounds so glamorous.
- [69:10]
Chloe Mal
You know, I did several drafts of. And what I was coming back to in that proposal was struggling. The idea of joy and optimism.
- [69:21]
Maureen Callahan
She. She took a million different ways around to get to that answer, which tells me she's bullshitting. She didn't prepare for this interview either. She did multiple rounds of multiple written tests for this job. This is who they go with. And she says her vision is joy and optimism. Listen, this is what the Devil Wears Prada really should have been about. Okay? It should have been about something like this. I don't think the new Devil Wears Prada is going to be very good. I don't think it's going to be very satisfying. But again, like, just put me in these writers rooms. The culture gives you the plot line. Now, speaking of joy and optimism, Hoda Kotb would like a word. Chloe Mal. Hoda would like a word, and so would Marlena. Marlena and Lauren. Lauren is a new member of the Nerve, and we're very, very happy to have her. On Thursday morning. Took a little field trip up to The Today Show, 2:30 Rock with a big nerve sign. Looking to get on camera with Hoda. And I had one idea how this was going to turn out. Like, one vision in mind. Marlena had another. And Marlena is going to join us to talk to us about how she got next to the one and only Hoda. Marlena, have you warmed up yet? You were freezing out there in 30 Rock this morning.
- [70:49]
Marlena
I have. I have. I did warm up, and in the ninth hour of our day. But, you know, I am now officially warm. However, let's talk about.
- [71:01]
Maureen Callahan
Let's begin with the creation of the signage, because we realized pretty soon into this little plot that you were going to need, like, a sign that was just like. What would you call it? Like a dupe.
- [71:12]
Marlena
Like, I called it a dummy sign.
- [71:14]
Maureen Callahan
A dummy sign.
- [71:16]
Marlena
Well, like, we'll just show the troublemakers. Take Sat 6. We are here.
- [71:23]
Maureen Callahan
We're standing in line with the other. I love your nerve hat.
- [71:27]
Marlena
Creating Cubans. And we have our sign, and we have our.
- [71:31]
Maureen Callahan
The dummy sign. They made us shoot from the window,
- [71:38]
Marlena
but I stood there long enough, so we'll see.
- [71:40]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, so that's Marlena setting it up. And then you basically were, like, batting your eyelashes at a security. Security guard to just, like, let you in there, because you're like, I'm gonna freeze my. You know.
- [71:52]
Marlena
Well, it was the other way Around. We got in, and they. Because they let Everybody in, all 10 people at 7:30. Right.
- [72:00]
Maureen Callahan
Okay.
- [72:01]
Marlena
And then, because Hoda and the whole crew come out at 8:30 by 7:40, like, we got through security and whatever, we're standing there, I'm like, I can't. I can't do this. I can't do this for another, like, 50 minutes. So, yeah, I batted my eyes, and I was like, can we just go
- [72:17]
Maureen Callahan
inside for a second?
- [72:19]
Marlena
Because we're freezing. And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [72:22]
Maureen Callahan
You know, go, like, inside the building. Yeah.
- [72:25]
Marlena
On the other side. You know how 30 Rock is. There's, like, all these, like, square.
- [72:28]
Maureen Callahan
It's like a plaza. Yeah.
- [72:30]
Marlena
And there's like, another, you know, level to it downstairs. And there's, like, coffee shops.
- [72:33]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, okay, okay, okay. I got you. So get inside the ring. The. The barricade, you mean.
- [72:39]
Marlena
We were already in the barricade, outside. And then I said, I want to come back. Can we leave and come back?
- [72:44]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, so you did. You left. You came back, and then how did you get closer than any of us thought you would get to Hoda? And did she? Well, I'll let you tell me that first. I don't want to get ahead of ourselves.
- [72:57]
Marlena
Well, I do think that the. The weather played a role in this, because there, you know, there was one row of people standing along the barricades where, if you've looked at video before there, they've been, like, rose deep in the past.
- [73:10]
Maureen Callahan
Yes. So, yeah, very cold in New York City.
- [73:13]
Commercial Announcer
Yeah.
- [73:13]
Maureen Callahan
So I just.
- [73:14]
Marlena
I just kind of squeezed in there and waited, and someone comes out. There's like, a hype guy that comes out and is like, all right, you guys ready? Are your phones ready? Get your phones ready.
- [73:22]
Maureen Callahan
Get your mouth. We've been rolling.
- [73:25]
Marlena
So, yeah, that's how that was set up. And that's okay.
- [73:27]
Maureen Callahan
We're going to show the moment that you actually had an interaction with Hoda and. And the nerve sign. And I've got a lot of questions about what she may or may not know about the nerve, and I have my theories. So, Marlena, you approach Hoda, and you've got your dummy sign, and you've got your nerve sign, and we're going to look at the moment when you do the bait and switch and you open the nerve sign standing right next to Hoda. Yep, here we go. She's pointing to it. She starts pointing. She starts pointing to it, laughing. Do you think she really saw it? Do you think she saw the nerve part of it?
- [74:11]
Marlena
I don't think she saw. I don't know what she saw. All I know is she saw her name. And, you know, she's standing there with her microphone, and she's going out around each person, and she sees everyone else is like, go, USA they were talking about the Olympics.
- [74:25]
Maureen Callahan
You were so smart to use her name. So that's. She came right over to you. She saw that her name.
- [74:31]
Marlena
She was like. She said, that is so sweet.
- [74:34]
Maureen Callahan
What's your name?
- [74:35]
Marlena
And I forgot to give my fake name. And I said, marlena.
- [74:39]
Maureen Callahan
Okay, two things about this. Tell the troublemakers your fake name.
- [74:44]
Marlena
Jill.
- [74:44]
Commercial Announcer
Mar.
- [74:46]
Maureen Callahan
So it's.
- [74:47]
Marlena
Now I have to come up with another one.
- [74:49]
Maureen Callahan
You could still use that. It's pretty. It's pretty good. Bill, are you listening? This woman wants to go on a date with you. Secondly, so you say, Marlena. Now, as we know, Marlena, you have an unusual name. And it's spelled unusually. It's M A R, L, A, I, N A. You signed up for the Joy 101 retreat, the inaugural retreat on Hoda's Joy 101 website when it just said, we will let everybody know when tickets are available, when they go on sale. Sign up to be on that mailing list. You sign up, and by the next day, the website says that the retreat is sold out. So you're standing there, she asks your name. You say, marlena, you've got this sign that you open up, and that paper is thin. It's not like. It's like a thick piece of particle board or anything. So you could conceivably see the red nerve. Side. She's seen the nerve. She has got to have seen the nerve by now. She doesn't. Does she put it together? Do you think she put it together?
- [75:52]
Marlena
No, I think I was at just the right angle and the right height to where she was sort of not able to really see it fully. And it's not like, you know, I mean, obviously, Lauren, our coordinating producer, was taking the video, so it was not like it was a selfie so she could see the reflection.
- [76:08]
Maureen Callahan
So true. So. So for Hoda, this was just a lovely fan encounter and more proof that despite the tragedy befalling her bff so Savannah, she really does belong full time back at the Today show in Savannah seat, and you may have just given her the encouragement to do that. And she doesn't know that we know she's gonna cancel that effing retreat because of you.
- [76:31]
Marlena
Can I say one thing before we go?
- [76:33]
Maureen Callahan
Yeah.
- [76:34]
Marlena
When I walked up and I had to show my sign one of the security guys said. That is so nice and good timing because Hoda's two week residency is almost up.
- [76:47]
Maureen Callahan
Oh wait, we think she's not coming back to the Today show next week.
- [76:50]
Marlena
That's what that man said.
- [76:51]
Maureen Callahan
All he said was her two week
- [76:52]
Marlena
residency is almost up.
- [76:55]
Maureen Callahan
Troublemakers. Troublemakers. The Nerve is getting it done. The Nerve is getting shit done. Marlena, you and Lauren are absolute heroes for doing what you did this morning. You will never forget it. You're. You're already in the running for Nerve Awards 2026.
- [77:14]
Marlena
Anytime we're in, that's it.
- [77:16]
Maureen Callahan
That's it for today's edition of the Nerve. Come back and see us tomorrow for our Mini. It is a banger that drops on YouTube at 10am Eastern. If you haven't already, check out our substack@thenerveshow.com Be sure to subscribe and always there's Nerve Merch. Go grab something for yourself or pick something up for a fellow troublemaker. Send something to hoda@shop thenerve.com you can also listen to the Nerve every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 9am Eastern on Megan's Podcast Playlist, which you can find on Sirius XM channel 111, the Megan Kelly channel. Be sure please to vote on our second and final installment of our Puppy Poll. We will see you tomorrow for the Mini and then again back here next week at the Nerve, where you will never guess what we're about to say next. Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications. Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely and parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place. Sign up for Greenlight today@Greenlight.com podcast.
- [78:46]
Commercial Announcer
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