
On our first episode of The Nerve At Night, Maureen launches a full-blown prosecution on Ryan Reynolds, debunking his Hollywood "nice guy" image with undeniable evidence from Reynolds' past, including his foul behavior during public appearances, multiple dark anecdotes that he has told about himself and others have shared in the media, and through the resurrection of a story that details Reynolds' sick fascination with fire. Then Maureen takes a shot at Cheryl Hines' recent explanation of her marriage communication style and shreds nepo baby, Chelsea Clinton, for her third attempt to establish herself as a media personality. Beam: Visit https://shopbeam.com/NERVE and use code NERVE to get our exclusive discount of up to 35% off. Aware House: Visit https://awarehouseshop.com/discount/THENERVE & use code THENERVE for 15% off your first order. Morning Kick: Chuck Norris: Avoid these 3 Foods Like The Plague, Watch his method by clicking the link here: https://chuckdefense.com/Nerve.
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Maureen Callahan
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Maureen Callahan
Hey everyone. Welcome to the first ever edition of the Nerve At Night. The Nerve at Night. Welcome to our lair. And it's not like Bill Maher's sleazy man cave, just the Nerve. But it's the Nerve at Night. So we are going to be getting up to all kinds of trouble and blowing off steam with you. Whether it's after a long day at work or you're on your commute, you're coming home from school, maybe you just met with some people who like, rubbed you the wrong way. We're generally sharing an exhale. It is the end of the day. It is cocktail hour. It is time to relax. And for our inaugural episode, we begin with a banger, Ryan Reynolds. We touched on Ryan a couple of weeks back after he was an absolute monster. And hey, monster was his own self description in that clip. To a child, a child journalist on a red carpet. And trust me, that is the least of Ryan Reynolds and his offenses. And you know, there's some really nice symmetry here. It just worked out this way. It wasn't planned. But given that our first ever segment on our first ever Nerve and if you go back, I can't even look at it. I'm sure you can hear my voice shaking with nerves. But our first ever Nerve segment was a deep dive into Jon Hamm's psychopathic tormenting of a fraternity pledge in college. Almost killed the kid. Allegedly reportedly never been denied by Jon Hamm. He said it was a bummer of a thing that happened That's a direct quote because I've never forgotten the way he put that together. A bummer of a thing that happened. Well, John, you got some competition in one. Ryan Reynolds, do you have arson in your past? If not, step aside. The Nerve at Night may become the dedicated home for psychopaths roaming around Hollywood thus far unfettered. And we troublemakers will see to that. Next, we're gonna go a little bit lighter. We're gonna have your questions and your problems, which we here at the Nerve at night asked for. And I'll offer my thoughts and suggestions. And then we have an added bonus. We have yet another piece of Breaking Nerve news for you troublemakers. We are launching a sub stack. This is what I've been referencing when I'm saying we've been working on a place where everyone can go and we can all really talk to each other. Outside of the Nerve, we're doing a sub stack. So it's going to be a place where you guys can go and talk to me and to the Nerve team, to the producers. You already know Marlena, and you'll talk to each other. So we can put your questions, like when we do this every Wednesday or Thursday. Nerve at night, Wednesday nights. It's been a wild week. We'll put your questions in the sub stack, and then you guys can offer up your suggestions and your takes and this. Smart and funny and, you know, we at the Nerve have teeth for days. But the. The truth of this cohort is it is an amazingly kind and thoughtful group of people. And only a group as special and unique as this could problem solve together in a way that I think will be extremely helpful. So that's among many other dedicated features, by the way, that we're working on for the substack. And also we're going to include a competition because you guys are so artistic, if you. In which you select which piece of merch, Merch should be next. And we'll have, like, polls and we'll vote and we'll throw things up there. We can do design competitions. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. So we are aiming to launch the substack next Friday. So we will keep you updated. Okay, then back to the show. We're going to wrap things up with an original Nepo baby and og, as it were, who, like so many of our offenders, refuses to take the note that the culture and the com and commerce have been giving her for decades now. And that note is, get out. We don't want you here. And this one is a doozy. It's a doozy. It's got a great backstory. It's it. She's got a rival for the ages and a level of delusion of Delulu that we would put right up there with one Violet Affleck. And that is a high bar. A high bar to clear. So are you ready to cause some trouble under the COVID of darkness, metaphorical and otherwise? If so, welcome to the Nerve at Night. Let's go. Every woman knows all too well that hormone issues are real and that they can hit hard. Up to 80% of women deal with imbalances, PMS, mood swings, brain fog, thinning hair, you name it. And it's tough to feel like yourself when your body is out of whack. If any of this sounds familiar, try Glow by Beam. This is a women's powder packed with 18 powerhouse ingredients designed to tackle hormonal imbalances. It also boosts energy, mood, metabolism, and even strong strengthens hair and nails. Glow by beam is 10 calories. It's vegan, it's gluten free, and it tastes amazing. You will wind up with steady energy, clearer skin and strong nails. All you need to do is mix one packet with water. It is that simple. Glow's holistic approach supports thyroid function and collagen production. And with over 40,000 women and 3,000 five star plus reviews, it is legit. For a limited time, Beam is offering Nerve listeners up to 35% off Glow. Just visit shopbeam.com nerv and use code nerve at checkout. That's shop b e a m.com nerve and use code Nerve for your exclusive discount. Ryan Reynolds. This guy has it coming. And as I said on an earlier Nerve, when we showed video of him being a complete and utter monster to a child journalist. Just wait, Ryan. Just wait. And the time has arrived. The time is now. We are inaugurating the Nerve at night, just as we inaugurated the Nerve back in April with audio, video and print confirmation that an A list star who masquerades as a nice guy is in fact a psychopath. Just my opinion. Ryan Reynolds is a psychopath, in my opinion, and he brought it all on himself. He made us open this Pandora's box when he and his equally vile, loathsome wife, Blake Lively, went after Justin Baldoni and tried to ruin Justin's life, his family, his career and his reputation. Just, you know, the thing, the only things that really matter in this world. So we're going to begin and I'm going to lay out my case with a ton of evidence okay, so settle in. We're going to begin with a clip that recently went viral. Ryan, once again on a red carpet, being a complete jerk. This time to Eugene Levy. Eugene Levy, who is beloved and who. Ryan was chosen by none other than Prince William recently for an exclusive one on one interview. Okay, so let's take a look at Ryan seeming to bully Eugene, who visibly looks confused. Okay. On the red carpet. And this is for the premiere of the documentary about the late John Candy. And it's basically the premise of it. Remember Ellen DeGeneres, Queen of Nice, right? People who are obsessed with depicting kindness and promoting it. Watch out. This is Ryan with Eugene on the red carpet at the premiere of this documentary which took place on September 4th. Let's take a look. Now, Ryan seems to be telling Eugene, and he dismisses him. And Eugene, like, this is. Go away. This is my. These are my journalists. This is my moment. Shuffle off, old man. Shuffle off. Hey, I'm going to smack that smile on now and shake hands with this journalist who's waiting for me. Okay, we got it. We're good. So this is what Ryan's comfortable doing in public, which tells me that he is capable of a lot worse in private. And you guys will not believe what we found. You're not going to believe it. So to begin, here is your friend and mine, Megyn Kelly, interviewing Justin Baldoni's lawyer, Brian Friedman, about the behaviors alleged here by Blake and Ryan. He was involved in this to some extent. There was a meeting at their apartment at which you allege that there were some senior production people who witnessed him allegedly berate Justin Baldoni to the point where these third parties felt upset that they didn't do more to stand up for Justin, that they thought Ryan Reynolds was so abusive. Now, you know how we always say here at the Nerve now at the Nerve at night that so many celebrities tell us exactly who they are that they hide in plain sight. So take a listen to Ryan's very quick answer, very quick. Come back to a very basic question.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
Strangers describe me as extremely disloyal.
Maureen Callahan
Okay, I'll take your word for it. I'll take your word for it, Ryan. Now, as this lawsuit filed by Blake Lively dropped like a bomb, and Justin Baldoni countersued, non celebrities, civilians in the know felt emboldened to share their stories about Ryan, even if anonymously. Which shows you they're still scared to a degree. And that tells us something. That tells us a lot. And by the way, Ryan pretty obviously trolled Justin in Deadpool and Wolverine. If you want to see those clips, you can easily find them online. I'm not going to show it here because we here at the Nerve are Team Justin. But that is how bold and untouchable Ryan Reynolds thinks he is mocking a fellow filmmaker in his own movie. Okay, so here, take a listen and a look at Kennedy, who is my colleague at the Daily Mail, talking on her podcast about Ryan threatening another hard working industry person. And this clip is about six months old. Take a look.
Kennedy (Daily Mail Colleague)
And Ryan Reynolds, by all accounts, seems like a great guy. He is acting, by all accounts. He is a total pain in the. I heard a story yesterday of a studio executive who was so frustrated with him when they were shooting Deadpool 2 because Ryan Reynolds had to do some reshoots for the movie. His makeup artist was out of the country working. Ryan Reynolds threatened to fire the makeup artist off the rest of the film and the reshoots they had to do. And also said, if you don't come back and do my makeup for these reshoots, you will never work in Hollywood again. He's one of those guys.
Maureen Callahan
If that is indeed true, and I have every reason to believe it, I mean, it all tracks. He's. He's really a monster who just gets off on bullying other people and making them do his bidding. There are no shortage of professional makeup artists that he could have hired and called upon, you know, and there's no shortage of magic that they can't work post production for anything. You know, you're behind a mask the whole movie. Why do you fucking need them anyway? Okay, building our case. Building our case. I need to keep my composure now. Next, let's watch and listen as the actor TJ Miller, who is himself controversial, but what he has to say rings true. TJ very openly tells Adam Carolla on Adam's show about why he's never going to work. Would never work with Ryan Reynolds again.
TJ Miller
Would I work with him again? No, I sort of wish him well because he's so good as Deadpool. And I think it's weird that he hates me. Do you know he hates me? We had a really weird moment on Deadpool where he said, let's do one more take. And then as the character, he was like, horrifically mean to me, but to me, as if I'm Weasel. So he was like, you know what's great about you, Weasel? You're not the star. You do just enough exposition that it's funny, and then we can leave and get back to the real world.
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TJ Miller
I just Kind of listened and thought it was weird. And then I got off stage and I walked over and the whole crew was acting weird. And then I went up to Kate and I was like, that was weird, right? And she was like, of course it was weird. It was insane. Everybody was like, why is Ryan doing this? And the other weird thing is, like, you know, I think he's kind of an insecure dude. His Twitter bio is showing you the parts of me that tested the best in focus groups. And I'm not sure that he's joking.
Maureen Callahan
I don't think he's joking. I think Ryan Reynolds couches everything in, like, a wink and a smile and like, an insincere laugh. As I've said, dead eyes. His dead eyes. And I think that he presents what tests well, I think he does. And I think he's creepy af. I really do. Now, what is to come? What is to come, as we build up to the big crime, in my view, is. Is proof that Ryan is, in fact, a sadist and psychopath. And God, do I feel for the four children that he and Blake have. And, you know, it's got to make you wonder, because Taylor Swift was tight with these two for a very long time. You are the company you keep. Now, you may know that Ryan stars as Deadpool, mainly because he never shuts up about it. Here's a fun anecdote that Ryan shared about the making of the most recent Deadpool movie until clearly, his publicist or his crisis manager told him to shut his mouth. So this is the story that Ryan tells of bullying his own child. His daughter Inez, 7 years old. She told him, I think this kid didn't even want to be in the movie at all. But he said, here's the line of dialogue I want you to read. And she told him she didn't want to do it. And not least because it is a sexually graphic line, she really, really didn't want to do it. And I would imagine there were tears. And you know what? Let's listen to Ryan himself talking to the movie's director, Shawn Levy, about how this little domestic conflict, which he brought to the set of his movie, I'm sure it was very, very disruptive. Resolved itself. This, by the way, is from the movie's official commentary. Here we go. Our fight isn't with you. When I want your opinion, I'll take Wolverine's dick out of your mouth.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
That's kid guiltily. That is my daugh.
Maureen Callahan
I'm so sorry. We have to admit that.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
And I am father of the year over here for allowing her to say such language, which to her credit, she really didn't want to say. And then came back later and said, I want to say it now. When I started looking at other people's affairs.
Maureen Callahan
Sure, Ryan, but Ryan, to our discredit, we made Nezi do. I'm not shitting you.
TJ Miller
70 to 500 versions of that line.
Maureen Callahan
I. Yeah, okay, There's a big gap between 70 versions and 500 versions. So I'm going to guess these two sadists who think they're making great cinema over here made this 7 year old who said, hey, dad, if she even calls him that, she's probably way more familiar with the nannies. I don't want to do this. I don't want to say this language. I don't want to talk about somebody having a dick in their mouths. I'm seven. To quote Willow Smith, when her parents were like, hey, you should go audition for this thing. She said, how about I just be 12? This is per Newsweek report by Aaron Rasmussen dated March 27, 2025. The Newsweek headline, ryan Reynolds under fire for letting daughter seven. That's the wrong word. Letting. I think that word should be bullying. This is why you have to look at everything that's in front of your face. It's, it's, it's diabolical. Letting daughter 7 deliver. Not safe for work. Deadpool line. The two then moved on to other topics. But their discussion, I believe this is from the Newsweek piece caught the attention of critics on a Reddit form. Again, critics. I, I just think logical, sane people. I think they're critics. Well, because you take issue with something a celebrity has done, has self admittedly done, you're a critic. Anyway, people I'd love to have a cocktail with on a Reddit forum titled Ryan Reynolds admits to coaching his daughter to deliver, quote, sick and disturbing line in Deadpool and Wolverine. Comment 1. There is no reason she needed to deliver that line herself. It is a character with a mask and no visible mouth. It could easily have been dubbed over. And you know who it could have been done by? Ryan? Adults who specialize in doing child voices like the Pamela Adlins of the world, like the adult actors who specialize in doing like animated TV shows and films. But no, that wouldn't quench the sadist in Ryan. Number two. I wouldn't care if it was just swearing, but getting a kid to make a sexual joke is gross. Agreed. A third remarked, quote, I don't care what the intent was behind. And again, we're in this world where, well, my intent and I could make it up ad hoc, I could make it up after the fact is supposed to ameliorate, if not explain away and excuse the very thing I did. I don't give a shit about your intent. The law doesn't, you know, whatever. I mean, the law sometimes does care about intent, but I'll leave that to the lawyers. The comment. I don't care what the intent was behind the line. It is overtly sexual and no kid has any business saying it, let alone in a movie made by their parent. And in fact, said parent, if they were doing their job, would keep their kid far away from anything having to do with that. Okay? And by the way, in that very scene, the gags, you know, these like in jokes that celebrities love to play because they think we all like, appreciate them. We don't. I don't give a. Blake Lively is behind one of those masks, as in a character, she's standing next to her own daughter. So she was apparently on set that day when, when Ryan and Shawn Levy were making their seven. Their seven year old daughter Blakes and Ryan say. Say that line. Get your dick out of. Out of your mouth 500 times. This is AI exists, you asshole. Okay? This is from a YouTube channel called Flossom. I hope I'm saying your name right. With Kjersti Flah, I can fake empathy pretty well. Believe him, just believe him. Because I don't think he's capable of empathy. People who are actually empathetic, and that's anyone who's not a psychopath, we all have empathy and we don't talk about having to fake it because we have it and it's a gift. It's what makes us human. Ryan doesn't have empathy. That's why he's talking about how he can fake it and fake it well. I actually don't think he's a great actor. I've never bought his shtick. I've always thought he was really dark. I've always thought he has dead eyes and he wants to be liked way too much. And when you want everybody to like you, you got a real problem because not everybody's gonna like you. So why bother? Just be yourself. But he can't be himself. Only in glimpses do we get it right. So here we go. Here's another one. And this is how long he's been doing this. By the way, he also told this howler he thinks this is a funny anecdote about taking a dick pic with his father's camera and leaving the family dinner table to do it. This was on the Conan O' Brien Show. So this is 10 years ago. Here's Ryan. I was a terrible child.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
Let me preface it with that. I was about 18, telling the truth. And in the middle of the dinner once I grabbed the camera and I went in the bathroom and I just took a picture of my penis.
Maureen Callahan
Yeah.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
And I just wanted to see if he would naturally edit these photos at some point.
Maureen Callahan
Nope, he sent it out.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
Yeah. So I think there's one day I hope it doesn't happen, but there's a penis picture of mine floating around somewhere.
Maureen Callahan
Well, guess you know, this is how like normalized this really like it's deviant behavior I think has become like the studio audience just laughed because he's a famous movie star and he's clean cut and he looks wholesome and he has a pretty wife and I mean, I don't know at that time if he was married to Scarlett Johansson, but I can only imagine the stories she's got, you know. But he looks presentable and he's on a respected late night talk show. And you know, this is a, this is a quirky anecdote and really it's not, it's really effing dark. And note there, by the way, how he blamed his father for his deviant behavior because daddy wasn't paying attention. So we had to do something to get it here. Ryan admits to sexually assaulting the actress Olivia Wilde during a sex scene on the set of the 2011 bomb the change Up. And this story is so old that Jay Leno was still hosting the Tonight Show. Here we go.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
So in the scene she's sitting there and I take her top off, I take her bra off and she has the like paste those pasties on, right. But she's drawing little smiley faces on.
Maureen Callahan
Trying to defuse anything you ask.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
Not just from this movie, from every other movie I've done. And I don't really know, I'm sort of going up, I'm nervous, I'm blithering on about nothing. And at some point in the scene she takes my hands and puts them on her breasts so they're there. Palms are a little sweaty, don't know what's happening. And then at the end of the scene I'm supposed to take them and I'm trying not to look at her like a 14 year old boy who just won the lady lottery.
TJ Miller
And won the lady lottery.
Maureen Callahan
Is that what it's called, the lady lottery?
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
I'm trying not to do. And I take. At some point in the scene, I have to take my hands away, and I take my hands away and I look down at my hands and there's two freaking smiley faces on them. And I. I have no idea what to do. So I'm. You know, the scene is over now. There's 65 crew members around. I mean, there's all these guys. There's like one the jackpot. I'm sitting there and I reflexively, like an idiot, just put my hands right back on the breast. And I think I'm doing it to cover them up, but I'm. I'm like realizing right now it's a very fine line between chivalry and, you know, workplace sexual assault.
Maureen Callahan
You know, it's really funny sexual assault. Nothing's more hilarious. And those things that are used to cover women during sex scenes, they're hard to get off. Okay? It's not like they just fall off. So he's telling a lie, in my opinion. Now, Deadpool director Tim Miller. Now, this movie was a hit. It was a huge surprise hit, and it set the stage for. For a franchise. Most directors don't walk away from that stuff. Tim Miller did. Here he is in a 2019 interview with KCRW. As re reported by Men's Health, the headline, Deadpool director Tim Miller says he left the franchise because of Ryan Reynolds. And by the way, as discussed on the nerve, it very rarely do people in the industry speak publicly out of school about bad behavior because you need to work again. And today's enemy might be tomorrow's best friend. And it is clear that Ryan Reynolds is such a problem child that people have no problem talking about what a monster he is. Okay, Tim, quote, it became clear that Ryan wanted to be in control of the franchise. Sound familiar to the Justin Baldoni lawsuit in which Ryan and Blake are reported to have been attempting to wrest control of the Colleen Hoover franchise that Justin was building away from Justin so Blake could have it sounds familiar to me. That's just my opinion. Quote, tim, you can work that way as a director with the actor in control quite successfully, but I can't. I don't mind having a debate, but if I can't win, I don't want to play. And I don't think you can negotiate every creative decision. There's too many to make. That's why they're called directors. Ryan, back to Tim. So Ryan's the face of the franchise, and he was the most important component of that by far. If he decides he wants to Control it, then he's going to control it. Ryan's ex drama teacher in the wake of the lawsuit and these allegations that Blake and Ryan were casting about and you know, never forget, reportedly Taylor Swift was in the room at that meeting that I believe Megyn Kelly was referencing at the top of the show where people were so put off by how aggressively Ryan was bullying Justin that they felt they should have intervened but they could not because Ryan's top of the food chain. You can't tell me Taylor doesn't know these are birds of a feather. Trust me. Don't be distracted by her. I mean, we are distracted by it and we are going to talk about it like her lyrics about Travis's penis. But, you know, I think there's some real dark stuff there. Anyway, Ryan's ex drama teacher reached out to Candace Owens with a shocking claim. And she shows the email in this clip. This, this story that Candace tells, it's a little bit long, but trust me when I tell you it is thoroughly engrossing. Here we go.
Candace Owens (Reading Email)
This message arrived in my box and it's about his first drama teacher from when he was 13 years old. And I think it's interesting to share. And again, this is going to be a much older person. I think that's relevant because there are two people who always tell the truth and that's senior citizens and toddlers. They just get to a place where they just constantly are telling you the truth about everything and they don't care what anybody has to think about it or say about it. And so right individual wrote this. I'm cutting, I'm cutting off the person's name obviously because I'm afraid Ryan Reynolds will go after him. It, it came in from Alberta, Canada. He said it may be an odd thing. I was his first acting teacher. True. Summer 1989. He was 12. His parents had gone on a vacation. So grandparents he was left with had him for three weeks as I recall. After a week they enrolled him in my classes, essentially as I found out, because they needed a break from him. Within the first three days, I had had enough. The other kids had had enough and their parents were complaining because everything was about him. Self centered, loud, sneaky, obnoxious, narcissistic, unkind and deceitful. I spoke to the grandparents that he needed to abide by the expectations or I'd punt him and give them a refund. The next day, same old. So I kicked him out two days back with the grandparents. They begged me to take him back. So I said on a Couple of conditions. I drew up a quote unquote contract, essentially reiterating the initial expectations but adding, so behavioral things I had noticed, some behavioral things I noticed that needed to be addressed. And he had to write an apology letter to the class and either read it to the class or memorize it and present it to the class like a script. And if the other students said no, then no it would be. But I did hold the final say. I work with kids in mental health. I have for decades. This was nothing new to me. So he returned. The kids were a bit shocked, but he was on probation. And then he was asked, ryan, is there something that you'd like to say to other students here? Yes, if I may. He got up, audience of 15 plus kids, paper in hand. He glanced down at it, started to read it, then stuttered, cleared his throat, swallowed, then started without the paper. Tears started to well in his eyes. I'm so sorry that I heavy breathing selfishly stole time from you all. As Mr. David was trying to teach all about acting and I made it about me. And I just want to say that I will do my best to listen and will try really hard not to interrupt tears now. And it's just that nobody really listens to me. So sniff. I will try, try, try my best to be better. Sorry, full tears. The kids were on their feet over to give him a hug, etc. Can he come back to our class, please? So I said yes. A few minutes later, he passes by me and under his breath utters, I was acting.
Maureen Callahan
That is a chilling story. It's chilling. He was 12. His grandparents couldn't handle him for three weeks. Imagine what the parents were like dealing with him. They were begging this drama teacher, please take this problem child off of our hands. Please take him back. We cannot have him in the house. And you know the words that the drama teacher, former drama teacher, used to describe him at 12? Sneaky, unkind, narcissistic, deceitful. These are dark, dark traits. Ryan slapped a child actor as an adult on the set of the Amityville horror remake. Slapped a child and then made fun of this assault because isn't it funny? I'm going to tell you who you are. He gets off on this. This is his kink. He gets off on telling us exactly who he is and trying to make us think that he's actually just a quirky, funny guy. He said slapping the kid was great and I'm sure he slapped him more than once. Just my guess, just my supposition. In an interview with Michael J. Lee of Radio free Entertainment published April 1, 2005. Question. You slapped one of the kids even though it wasn't planned in the script? Ryan. Yeah, he had it coming. No, it was actually horrible. Believe him, the first time Ryan goes on, I didn't mean to do. Wasn't hard or anything. So you didn't mean to do it, but it wasn't hard to slap a kid? Because I'm going to tell you, if that was in the script, any adult actor worth their salt would be like, we're using a body double like a small person. Or we're gonna cheat this shot, or we're gonna make it look like AI. But there's no way in hell I'm hitting a child. There's no way in hell I'm laying hands on a child. But no, Ryan, again, it wasn't hard or anything. He says the kid looked up like he had just won the. Won the lottery. Sure, because it's so great to be hit if it's Ryan Reynolds doing it to you, right? The famous Ryan Reynolds. It was just so cool to him. Ryan says, I don't believe you, Ryan. And I look over and the script supervisor is crying. And Ryan says he's trying to apologize to the script supervisor, who's clearly so disturbed by what she has just seen that she's crying. And she's also probably crying because even the director can't have the fucking balls to go over to Ryan and say, hey, not allowed. Question. You were possessed by a dark force, right, Ryan? Yes, exactly. Exclamation point. Of course, exclamation point. The Indians did it to me. Exclamation point. The Indians did was one of those great moments. Ryan says, in a perverse way, I was sort of excited by the fact that something happened on film that was just totally unplanned and it just came out organically enough so. And not so organically that it actually hurt anyone. Well, if the script supervisor was crying, I'm going to guess this child was hurt. The force of a man, a grown man slapping a small child. It hurt that kid. Trust me, Ryan. Every sentence conflicts within itself or with the thing he just said. Ryan. So everyone walked away from it, but it was definitely disturbing. Question. You didn't socialize with the kids off camera? Ryan? No, I didn't ever talk to them. I hope when I'm done with this segment that it's really hard to insure Ryan Reynolds for anything. I mean, Justin Baldoni and his lawyer, I think, are going to have their way with Ryan, eight ways to Sunday. But I would like the Nerve to be doing its little part and contributing to the downfall and the ruination of Ryan Reynolds. You know, like I say, I like the God of the Old Testament. I like the God of vengeance and wrath. Now to the big one, the big reveal. And by the way, when we show you this, you will see why. I think that there is credence to the long standing rumor that Ryan Reynolds, when he was a paperboy, bullied another paperboy so viciously that he allegedly reportedly long standing rumor Reddit threads devoted to it made that child eat dog feces. Ryan Reynolds is, by his own admission, an arsonist. He set fire. He set a fire. I have to be careful here. He set a fire that burned down his own elementary school and he got away with it. And I think he thinks it's funny. And he thinks it's funny because I'm going to reference an old interview that he thinks has been scrubbed from the Internet. And you know what, Ryan? I'm a pretty good investigative reporter, and I've got a really great team at the Nerve who's devoted to unmasking monsters like you. So this fire made the front page of the Vancouver sun, the Canadian Vancouver sun, which we dug up. This edition is dated Monday, March 30, 1987. It was written by Gavin Wilson. This is a very well written story. We are showing this on screen. This is the front page. And look at the accompanying photo. This was an enormous fire. Enormous. I quote from this article, 200 Queensborough children are off school today. Remember, it's a Monday, Monday edition. After a fire onlookers described as, quote, a thundering mass of flames, end quote, destroyed the aging Queen Elizabeth Elementary School early this morning. My aside, Ryan, probably set this fire late on Sunday night or very early on Sunday morning. So just some wholesome suburban fun. Okay, Returning to this news article, quote, the fierce blaze almost leveled the school at 5:10 Ewen, even though the nearest fire hall, fire station is just 300 meters away. New Westminster police said arson is being investigated while the school burned. Queensborough residents, many of them former students, were drawn out of their homes by the flames. Queen Elizabeth School was the only school in Queensborough, a tightly knit community on the northeast tip of Lulu Island. It's a heartbreaker, said Irene Yoski, 59, a past president of the school's PTA. All 10 of her children have passed through the Queen Elizabeth School doors. There were some former students out here and the tears were just rolling down their faces, she said. School principal Drew Knox said that the 207 students will be staying home for several days until the school district can decide where they can attend classes. One option is to bus them up to Westminster. He said setting up temporary classrooms at the local community center will also be considered. I mean, class at the local community center. How depressing can you get? Now, how do we know for sure that Ryan set this fire and destroyed the school? Because he told us. In part. In part. I'm going to go through his version of events here because we just read that news story together. School was leveled. Leveled. Fire station right there. By the time they arrived on the site of this fire, the thing had almost burned to the ground. So because Ryan's a liar, my opinion, I'm going to say don't believe the things he says here. Don't believe the out that he gives himself here. And the things that he says. Again, they contradict the other reports and the testimony we have heard from from his drama teacher. That email that Candace Owen read and that Vancouver sun report that we just read. This is from an interview of Ryan Reynolds that the Nerve Central dug up. We at Nerve Central dug this up. In the Arizona Daily Star in American publication dated Wednesday, September 8, 2004 byline, Phil Villarreal. The headline, ryan Reynolds is funny even when he's serious. I beg to differ, Phil, but I also know that writers don't actually write the headlines. That is true. Editors do that. Okay. Anyway, quoting from the relevant portion of this profile while Ryan was out promoting that cinematic piece of art, Blade Trinity. And I'm just being a bitch about it. Listen, I love popcorn movies, but Ryan's an asshole and he has it coming from every potential direction. I can give it to him. Quote from this, from this article. Reynolds, then 28. Reynolds said he'd always been an instigator. He calls himself a, quote, bad, bad kid, end quote. And backs up the claim again. Phil, he just told you. Just believe him. Backs up the claim with the admissions that he failed high school drama class because he ditched in Perens. Quote, I was out working on my personal drama. Ryan said and perrenz. And that he once burned down a wing of his elementary school. Sorry, Ryan. That Vancouver Sunpiece with photographs, shows and reports that you destroyed the entire structure. A wing. Get the fuck out of here. Okay. And then that he covered up the crime until now. I'm picking it back up with Phil. I apologize to all the fine students and the faculty. Said Reynolds, who admits that he set fire to a tree which led To a building. A building catching fire. First of all, who sets fire to a tree? I could cry like a beautiful, living, innocent thing. He sets fire to it. And then somehow a building caught fire. A wing caught fire. I don't believe it. I think he set fire to the school. I do. I think he deliberately fired at the school. Ryan Reynolds, quoted here in the same piece by Phil Villarreal. Quote, no one found out who it was. I think the statute of limitations has run out. Trust me, Ryan checked before he admitted this. Okay, back to the piece. Back to this quote. Ryan, I just hope I don't find out that some poor schmo has spent time in jail for it. Trust me, Ryan would have loved that. Would have loved it. Here is something that I learned, personally learned while I was reporting my book American Predator. And I learned this from some of the finest minds the FBI has ever seen. It's like textbook studies if you're at Quantico. But up until this point, I didn't know it because I never thought about arsonists before. Why would I? Arsonists, almost 100% of the time have a sexual relationship with fire. It is sexual for them. Setting fires, watching fire burn, watching firefighters try to put fires out. This is all sexual for them. And I'm going to guess that after Ryan set that fire, he went and hid somewhere where he could watch the fire department respond and he could watch people come out of their houses and cry because it's a sexual fetish for him. My opinion. So if I can contribute anything to the culture for posterity, it is this my opinion, just my opinion, that Ryan Reynolds, who's out there as a wholesome husband and dad who just happens to be a movie star and is BFFs with Hugh Jackman, is sexually aroused by setting fires. And you'll never. Oh, and smacking kids. You'll. And making them say sexually graphic things that they don't want to say like 500 times. So you will never watch if I've done my job, a Ryan Reynolds movie again. And you'll never hear his interviews again because you won't want to see him because he'll come on your screen or he'll show up on your computer or your phone and you'll just, like, zap him down to the nothing that he is. That was extremely satisfying. It really was. It really was. Next up, next up, a couple of ne' er do well offenders. One who thinks she was and is a model. And it's not Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. Is it Kidman Urban Sunday Rose Kidman, Urban it's someone else. It's another Nepo baby and she's got it coming. Plus your dilemmas. We can talk about them on your commute home again, or your cocktail hour or your general unwinding. And a banger. A banger of an ultimate, ultimate Nepo baby takedown. I cannot wait. We are back in a minute. So much is going on right now, and things can feel all too heavy. But there is, in fact, something simple that unites us all. Supporting small American made and owned businesses. That's right, because when you choose to buy from a small business, you're not just getting a product. You are helping someone's dream grow. And you're investing in the values so many of us share. Honesty, craftsmanship and community. And that is what a warehouse is all about. They have teamed up with with nearly 100 small business makers across the United States to bring you handmade goods filled with heart and creativity, uniting people of all backgrounds in this singular mission. So let's choose connection over division and show small businesses the support they deserve. Visit awarehouseshop.com and use code thenerve for 15% off your first order. That is a warehouseshop.com code thenerv Mr.
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Maureen Callahan
Papa.
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Maureen Callahan
Welcome back. Now, before we get to troublemaker dilemmas, because even troublemakers have their own trouble, we have some cultural cleanup to do. First, Cheryl Hines. And by the way, if you've read Ask not and I'm going to say something. As the anniversary of Martha Moxley's murder approaches, which is at the end of this month, Cheryl Hines is a villain in Ask not and I don't like this woman. Listen, I understand life is messy and she started up with Bobby Kennedy Jr. While he was still married to his second wife, Mary Richardson Kennedy, who has her own chapter in my book. And Cheryl Hines was a monster to this woman. She was rubbing it in Mary's face and she was actively contributing, my opinion, to Mary's despair and her mental unraveling and her deep depression. And now she's out fogging her forthcoming memoir. A book deal she got, let's be honest, only because of who she's married to, that prize, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. You know, Mary wound up committing suicide. And, you know, now Cheryl really knows what it's like to be a Kennedy wife because Bobby has reportedly cheated on her, allegedly only digitally. I guess we got over that. Trust me. You know, Cheryl's got it coming, by the way. When you look at her, you're going to see the outsides are matching the insides. Okay? We have gotten work done for this media tour. And I think her dermatologist and or her plastic surgeon hate her because she looks like a monster. Outsides matching the insides. Just my opinion. So here sits Cheryl with the toothless CBS mornings, which is spearheaded by astronaut Gail. I truly wonder how long Gail is going to last under the newly appointed editor in chief of news over there, Barry Weiss. Gail, call your financial consultant. Here's Cheryl being asked about her communication style with Bobby. So, I mean, like any of us care anyway. Okay, let's take a look. It's very interesting because Bobby and I are. I'm definitely the one that has all the feelings, and he's the one that wants to talk about the facts and the studies and the ed sort of. I never slept with that woman. That's Bobby's fact, communicating. Do you let him know you're not cheating, though? Oh, I do. I do. Bobby and I, I mean, sometimes we have heated discussions, but we always come back around to I, I hear what you're saying, Bobbi. I hear what you're saying. I hear that you would prefer that I am not like a lying, cheating dog. I get. I hear what you're saying. Just why don't we just ask the real questions here? Come on. You know, we're talking like we're dancing around Donald Trump. Let's ask the real questions. Why did you stick with your husband like so many Kennedy wives before you? It's 2025, lady. Why don't you just cut bait, okay? We'll, we'll be covering her book. If it's worth it, we'll cover her book. Now on to one Ella Emhoff, who really presents like a filthy hipster. Like there's like culturally filthy, you know, like indie sleaze, and there's like hygienically, you look like you're filthy. And now that stepmomy Kamala is back in the news, this family of winners. Here comes Ella, who the fashion industry tried to make A model. They tried really hard to make her a model and she now. Thank you for that fashion industry because she now labors under the delusion that she herself is a super stylish influencer. Let's look at Ella on her Instagram the other day.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
Good morning.
Maureen Callahan
Happy Monday. It's been a while since I've in her sloppy.
TJ Miller
That's right.
Maureen Callahan
Financed by Daddy, Step Mommy apartment in Brooklyn. She's doing a fit check like any of us. It's like a portable body roller, muscle roller. But wait till you see her get on the floor.
Candace Owens (Reading Email)
I'm going to show you some ways.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
That I use it.
Maureen Callahan
So one of the first things I like to do is. This is so awkward and gross. And we can end it right here. You know what I'm getting? You know what I'm getting from this? I'm getting Terry Richardson vibes. If you remember Terry Richardson for a long time in the aughts, he was like, shooting all of the, like, American Apparel, like, softcore porn ads. And they even did like a Law and Order that was like Terry Richardson inspired, where, like, the photographer was like, molesting Miles. By the way, I would just like to put out a call. I would. And I'm very, very serious because, you know, I'm an actor now. If there's anyone in the Troublemaker cohort who is part of the Law and Order universe, any of the shows, svu, lno, the original criminal, whatever, sorry, not criminal intent, but, you know, organized crime. Now, my dream, my literal. One of my literal dreams is to play a judge on Law and Order. When I saw years back that they cast Fran Leibowitz as a judge on Law and Order, I thought it was, like, so brilliant. And that's what I would like for myself. I would love to be a judge on Law and Order. I really think I could execute for you guys. So I'm just going to put it out there. I'm just going to put it out there and, you know, who knows? But otherwise, I've got my criminal cultural prosecutions going on over here. Okay, now, troublemaker questions. And again, these and a few emails. These are going to have a dedicated space on our sub stack, so you guys can offer your takes to that. By the way, Maureen, please, please put all your book, movie and song suggestions somewhere where we can find them. I have missed so many good ones in the car or when I couldn't jot them down going on the sub stack. Okay. My friend Maureen. Good morning, Michelle Obama. Why is her podcast still going? Can someone please Throw brother Craig a lifeline. Craig, consider your friends here at the Nerve. We see you. We are throwing you a virtual, metaphorical lifeline. And if you ever want to. Want to take refuge here, our doors are always open, okay? Always open for you, brother Craig. Craig. Kristen writes. Kristen's a frequent writer. We read you a lot, Kristen. His shoulders are up by his ears. They are. He's, like, terrified. He's terrified. He's closing in on himself to try and protect. To protect. Once they left the White House, nobody saw their marriage as ideal because nobody was interested. Only an idiot would think that marriage is easy. We don't need her to repeatedly tell us that you don't go to therapy for anyone but yourself. Your life doesn't have to be abnormal, Michelle. You make it that way. People a lot more famous than you keep their life private. Well said. And one more vis a vis Michelle from troublemaker Patricia. Hi. Remember, Michelle's big complaint, as discussed on the mini is now the way that Barack choose. She wants to smack him like Ryan Reynolds smacking a child actor. She wants to smack the shit out of Barack Obama because of the way he choose. Hi, Maureen. I was married to a guy who constantly schooled my children and I on how to properly eat. He thought we hid our utensils against our teeth and it bothered him. We were supposed to just close our lips around the utensil. He is, to this day a very dangerous man. I truly believe he is a serial killer. We're not calling Michelle Obama a serial killer, but, you know, just like the theory that Garth Brooks is secretly a serial killer. And let me know if you'd like us to do a deep dive with you on this, because we'll do it. We're not saying Michelle is a serial killer, just that she sort of manifests several qualities that one could say are akin to. Back to Patricia's email being on neighborhood. Oh, her. Her ex was on. On the neighborhood board. He used to also measure the lawns in the neighborhood and wanted to issue citations if the if the grass was quote, too long. Unfortunately, he poisoned the well against me in the minds of my sons and everyone who knew me when we were together. So he is unfortunately still able to be abusive to us. Parental alienation. He didn't kill any of us physically, emotionally and spiritually. That's a different story. And that is currently what Michelle Obama is doing. Just my opinion. Okay, now on to your questions. Let's hive mind and problem solve. So here's the situation from our anonymous troublemaker. Again, these are all pseudonyms. I've been friends with Sabrina for over 30 years. Over time, we've had periods of losing touch. We always seem to find our way back to each other. The last time we reconnected was a few years ago and it became the norm for her husband, Harold to join us whenever we hung out. He's a likable guy, so it didn't feel intrusive. Next month, I am hosting a pre holiday season gathering. It's casual, but I am going a little bit above and beyond, specifically with the party favors which are being engraved. Because of that, I need my final guest count sooner than usual. When I reached out to Sabrina and Harold, it was Harold who replied via text, verbatim quote. I checked with the boss. I guess Sabrina's the boss. And we are currently. Date of text, September 3rd. And this troublemaker sent the email on October 4th. So a month has elapsed. Now, we are currently free that day. Unless something comes up. What, like something better? Like, is there an emerging, like an emergency situation? Is there a sick relative? Because that's the only thing that I could imagine would preclude RSVPing. Yes. Okay, so the. The vagueness there. I'm just going to tell you, Troublemaker, that my antenna go up. Okay. So unless something comes up, we should be able to attend. Again, that's another qualifier. We should be able to attend. It's not like we're really looking forward to this. We really hope that this nothing else comes to pass. Like, this is a lukewarm message. And I also don't like that it was sent by Harold and not Sabrina. If Sabrina is really the friend, you know, I'm friends with one of my best friends. I consider her husband a very good friend. But if I texted her and her husband texted me back, I'd be like, something's off. Okay. At first the tone rubbed me the wrong way. I agree with you. I agree with you, troublemaker. It felt vague and dismissive. I think you should listen to your gut. I think you should listen to your gut here, especially troublemaker writes, since I've always got out of my way to meet them over the past decade. Now I'm stuck. I don't think you're stuck. And I'll tell you why. Troublemaker continues. The message technically says they're coming, but it feels like a no with everything else going on in my life, which I won't unpack here, but it is a lot. I might be more emotional than usual and that's okay. So I'm turning to the nerve crew. Do I follow up or just leave it and assume they're not coming? I would love to hear what you and the nerve fam think. Oh, the nerve fam. I love that. We are, we're like a little family developing here. Okay, now I'm going to say something. I have found just personally that sometimes when your emotions are more at the surface because you are going through something, it actually can have a very clarifying effect. You actually, your antenna are that much more tuned into things in people that feel off or really aren't working for you. And maybe these are things in people that historically you wanted to believe were fine or okay is what it is. I'm getting the impression from your question troublemaker that you're the one who has always made the effort. I'm going to guess that nine times out of ten you're the one reaching out to Sabrina. You're the one who's traveling to meet Sabrina and Harold. I'm going to guess that Sabrina has never once said, hey, does it bother you that like Harold comes all the time? Like you know what, you know what we need? We need some one on one time. Why don't you and I just go out to dinner or meet for a drink. I really want to hear what's going on with you. You know, you can't really speak freely with a third person there, you know. So this is what my suggestion is. I think your gut is right and what I would do is treat this, and this is also a great hack going forward with any invitation you might send out, just say I need RSVP's. Like the RSVP date is date certain. You just put a deadline on it and it's a yes or a no. It's that simple. Maybe isn't a question, it isn't an option. And you know, if they, if they're trying to force you into a maybe and into a limbo, I think that's narcissistic. I think that that's selfish. You know. So I'm sorry to say this, but I think Sabrina and Harold might actually be doing you a favor here. I think they might. And you know, if you are really going through a lot, all the more reason that Sabrina and Harold should be understanding and supportive and just give you a hearty, we'll be there. We wouldn't miss it. So that's it for question one. We've got others and we want you to send in yours. Whether they're social, whether they're work, whether they're family, whatever they are. Send them our way and we will all put our collective heads together and tackle it for you. Next up, next up. Time to take down this Nepo baby bitch. I'm just going to be a bitch about it because this woman will not get out of our faces despite decades, decades of us showing collective disinterest. No, sorry, that's the wrong word. Uninterest. Woodshed. Take myself to the woodshed VIP room. Nonetheless, I'm in the woodshed. Uninterest lo these many years. We are back in a minute. I don't know if this guy has shown up in your algorithm, but have you possibly come across the 80s action film star and karate champion Chuck Norris recently? This guy is in his 80s and you would never know it. He has made an online video that offers some pretty great and simple health tips. Things that he does that keep him feeling young and strong. Chuck says he feels like he's in his 50s. You too can check out what Chuck has been up to and try it for yourself. And here is how. Watch his video now@chuckdefense.com nerve Chuck is a troublemaker. That's chuckdefense.com nerve and to make it easy, even easier, we have linked it below the video so you can check it out yourself. It's pretty quick. And seriously, this can be a game changer. You should all check it out. Check it out right now. Chuckdefense.com nerve want to show your cat.
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Maureen Callahan
We're back. We are back at the First Nerve at Night. The Nerve at night. I should say Proper. Now, troublemakers, I submit to you, bypassing the woodshed and going straight to the wood chipper. One Chelsea Clinton. Chelsea has been trying to make it in media as a media star, as the star she so clearly thinks she is. All this access. She's been a public person since childhood. She thinks there's someone out there who has yet to discover her. This bright star, I mean, she's only been at it for like 200 years now. So one of these days, am I right? One of these days something's going to click. Now, before we get to what else? Her podcast, her new podcast, let's revisit some of Chelsea's former media endeavors. Chelsea, that glamorous, charismatic, edgy, provocative, upper crust, super smart, undeniable talent who also reads great on camera. And I'm just going to be a bitch about this, as I said, because as I lay it out here, I'm going to lay out my case that Chelsea is a bitch and she is taking away jobs and opportunities from actually talented people who lack her pedigree and her connections. She continues to be given chance after chance to fail. And by the way, Chelsea, once again, this is how poisonous this shit is. She's delusional. And the culture and the CEOs around this country have made her that way again. It's not for the first time she's considering running for office here in New York. And you know who she would be going against if he does it? Her male counterpart. And it's not a compliment, Chelsea, because your male counterpart is the wholly underwhelming and in my opinion, mentally unstable, potentially drug addled. Just my opinion. Presents that way. Unhygienic. Presents that way. Jack Schlossberg. So to the wood shipper we go. You know that line in Apocalypse Now? I love the smell of napalm in the morning. I love the sound of a wood chipper all day and all night. My first piece of evidence, humbly submitted before you, troublemaker jury back in 2011. I don't know if you remember this. I mean, why would you? It didn't last very long. Chelsea got hired as a quote, unquote news correspondent at NBC. Experience? None. Just like JFK Jr. When he started George magazine. Or just like Jack Schlossberg being a failed political correspondent for Vogue. No journalism experience whatsoever. Jack, last seen rolling around town in his murder van doing a struggle podcast. That is a law and order waiting to happen. Disgraced political scion who has a podcast and a murder van and uses his podcast to lure unsuspecting women. That is, that is potentially an svu. Anyway, so I wrote, I pulled up this piece. I was like, wait a minute. I think I wrote about this because I would get so, like, worked up about Chelsea. She's like, she's such a gnat. She's like a gnat and she won't go. She's like that, Nat. You just, you can't get your palm over it to kill it. I'm not saying, you know what I'm saying? Like, we just want her to go away. So I wrote and reported this piece on her for the New York Post back when I was there. This dated February 25, 2017. And this is the relevant part about her hiring at NBC news, okay? In 2012, after decades of dodging the press, she even once said to a child journalist, do we. Are we developing a theme here? Ryan Reynolds telling it being an ass to a child journalist. A child journalist asked Chelsea like a very. A child journalist question. And Chelsea said, paraphrasing, I have a blanket approach to the media. The very media she wanted to join for a high paying glamour job. Okay? Very media. I have, I have, I have a blanket policy with the media that I don't. I don't give commentary, so I don't give quotes. So even though I think you're very cute, I can't talk to you, kid. So she cited that she wanted to get a job at. And not just start in a newsroom at an affiliate somewhere in a small town and work her way up. No, that's for, like, hicks and yokels and jokers like the rest of us. No, no, no, no, no. Chelsea wants to start at the top. She wanted to get hired by one of the big three networks, okay? So she met with all of them. And according to buzzfeed, those meetings were painful. And you know what good those executives should suffer for taking meetings with Chelsea Clinton. One executive said, and I'm quoting Chelsea and her team, quote, acted like we should be grateful that she was in the room. Shades of John Jr. It's in Ask, not when he was peddling George magazine around town asking for millions of dollars in venture capital. They all said, this guy came in zero preparation, worst pitch I'd ever seen. And he was like, hey, you should feel lucky to be meeting with me. Another executive vis a vis Chelsea in these boardroom meetings with network executives. By the way, the morning show recap is coming next. Nerve. There were ground rules, another executive said, on what Chelsea could and couldn't report, and she only wanted to report Good news. And guess what? That network passed. If it bleeds, it leads, you dummy. Now. And you think she would know because her father was at the center of one of the biggest political scandals in American history. I mean, that story only went on for a year. I mean, the New York Times only used it as an excuse so they could publish the Star Report. Semen getting squirted on Monica Lewinsky's dress. Daddy's semen. Daddy's cigar up Monica's hoo. Ha. We're gonna get to Monica, by the way. Okay, so anyway, so Chelsea.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
She'S too.
Maureen Callahan
Classy for bad news. So she eventually did get hired over at NBC. And you know, at the time they had Brian Wilson on their roster. And Matt Lauer. No, wait, Brian Williams. Sorry, Brian Williams, that pathological liar who got fired for pathologically lying. And Matt. Matt Lauer. So why not add a star like Chelsea to that incredible roster? Her starting salary was $600,000 a year. Trust me when I tell you that is not an average starting salary for new on air talent. No, no, no, no, no. So Chelsea got 600k a year to conduct a few cringeworthy interviews. And this is how we all knew that NBC was desperate to force her to quit. I don't know if you've ever had a manager who's tried to force people to quit. I don't think Chelsea really got the memo. So after some disaster, some like really thumpingly boring interviews. She's boring. The problem with Chelsea is she's a bore. She's boring. She's not interesting, nor is she interested. She's. I don't think she's interested in ideas. I don't think she's interested in other people. I don't think. I think that she is dull. I think she's like clinically dull. I think if you found yourself seated next to her at a dinner party, you would absent yourself. You'd probably just call an Uber and go home. Baltimore Sun. Chelsea Clinton finds her level after this interview aired. Now, not only did NBC have her interview an advertiser, but as best I can tell, and as best I can remember, they did not even have a single cutaway to Chelsea in this piece. Let's take a look at it.
Ryan Reynolds (Interview Clips)
Hi, Gecko.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
Thanks so much for answering our questions.
Geico Gecko
Ah, thank you, Chelsea. Look, sorry I couldn't be there in person, but I'm out on the road promoting my new book, you're Only Human.
Maureen Callahan
It's the Geico Gecko.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
I completely understand. Now, Gecko, do people recognize you on the street.
Geico Gecko
Actually, Chelsea. I mean, people don't usually notice me on the street because I'm only 6.9 inches tall. I spend most of my time just trying not to get stepped on. But I do get better tables at restaurants than I used to.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
Is there a downside to all this fame?
Geico Gecko
Well, it seems the more famous you are, the more likely someone is to dig up your old yearbook photos.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
And look what we dug up.
Maureen Callahan
Oh, my God. Aren't you the Geico Gel?
Geico Gecko
I thought we were friends. I'm going to remember.
Maureen Callahan
Yearbook photo. I just couldn't resist.
Candace Owens (Reading Email)
Well, it's been great.
Maureen Callahan
Oh, my God. Okay, we can stop it here. It's just embarrassing. So not only did they force a former first daughter to interview the Geico Gecko, they scripted her inane questions and they didn't even put her on camera. And trust me when I tell you, that is a savage cut. The execs at NBC were sending her an undeniable message, which is, you're really not an on camera personality, honey. For many reasons. From my piece back to the Post. This is my gracious challenge with her, said NBC producer Jay Kernis in 2012. Trust me when I tell you that newsmen in major newsrooms do not speak like this. My gracious challenge, okay? There are a lot of expletives and a lot of, you know, it's a hard charging place in a real newsroom. Okay, Jay, people in television constantly interrupt each other, but when you are with Chelsea, you really need to allow her to finish. She is not used to being interrupted in that way. Well, Baker, get used to it, Jay, you're the boss, are you not? So what did NBC get for that purchase price? That's what they got. That's what they got. A non talent that they eventually embarrassed and successfully ran out of the halls of NBC News. And again, there's some. There's some. There's a legacy there, okay? And Chelsea is such an embarrassment. She really is. So then, after falling on her face there at NBC, Chelsea co authored some books with her mother. Because the only world in which even the liberal media wants to hear from Chelsea Clinton is if her mother is in tower. Then in 2019, New York magazine did a puff piece on Chelsea 2019. And I wrote a column about it again for the Post, and this one was dated Halloween. How fitting. Ghoulish Chelsea. This New York magazine piece solemnly declares. I wrote is quote, trying to figure out what her. This is Chelsea's. This is the New York magazine. Sorry, from. From that profile Quote, trying to figure out what her own life looks like, okay? She was on the verge of turning 40. Hamlet had a less dramatic existential crisis. Now, here is some of Chelsea's gibberish in that puff piece. And trust me, it doesn't even matter what the question was. And I quote, Chelsea Clinton. You know, I think there is this sense, this perception now that ellipses, you know, is it just too hard? And yet so many of the same people who are asking that are themselves persisting to ensure that it's not as hard as tomorrow. I have no idea what she means. None. And this is a girl who went, a woman, rather, who went to the best schools on the East Coast. Oh, sorry. She went to college on the West Coast. I have no idea what she's talking about. I have no clue. Now, she also said, when asked for the millionth time about, will you run Chelsea? Because the media kept like pushing Chelsea to run for office. Why? I have no idea. She's never even had a real job. What does she know about the real world? Get out. These are not congressional and Senate seats are not consolation prizes for the over educated, under accomplished children. Mediocre at best, of political dynasties. Okay? They're not. Chelsea takes this very seriously, right? Oh, you're. Oh, will I run? Chelsea says, well, I don't have any plans to run for office. I think it's something that all of us who care about our communities and our country and our world, we're stretching this out. It's like Kamala, it's like Megan, it's like, let's just add word upon word upon word so I can delay a thought or make it sound like I'm saying something important when I'm not. Anyway, she thinks we should all be thinking about it. Get out. Okay. The idea that Chelsea Clinton could survive a bare knuckled political campaign is hilarious. It is laughable. Never, ever. She's far too decorous for it. She couldn't even hack it in a newsroom. She had her mommy, no doubt, calling her friends at NBC going, you know what? Just don't, don't give Chelsea a hard time. And you know, you can't interrupt her and let her just do what she wants, okay? And you know, she only wants to do good news, which, you know, Chelsea could not have even hacked the piece we just ran on Tuesday's nerve, the emotional support alligator. I would have sent her to that one. I would have had some fun with Chelsea if I were her news director. Anyway, okay? Now, Chelsea is not going to give up on the stream of being a media star. She is not. She's just like Meghan Markle and Michelle Obama and a ton of other hapless non talents out there who want to move out of the political lane or the royal lane for podcasting. Chelsea is not going to give up on the stream, even though. Even though she's already had a podcast, okay? And that one failed, too. Now, that one was imaginatively called In Fact with Chelsea Clinton. In fact, because we're such a. What's the word I'm looking for? We're just like a scold. And we're like that person who's always correcting people when it doesn't even matter. Just let it go. You know, she's the person at the dinner table at the dinner party who's like, you know, you have that fact wrong or you mispronounce that name because that's all she can offer. She doesn't have an original thought clunking around that head anyway. In fact, I had never heard of In Fact with Chelsea Clinton. I'm sure neither of you guys, none of you guys, none of you troublemakers who have heard of it. So now she's back with a new podcast that is. Seems to be doubling down on the failed one. And this one is called that Can't Be True with Chelsea Clinton. And she's going by Dr. Chelsea Clinton now, you guys. So it's Dr. Chelsea to us, okay? Because we're a professor or some shit. She's not a medical doctor, but she's doing a podcast in which she's breaking apart what she says is pseudoscience and medical misinformation while going by the doctor honorific, the doctor title totally unearned off. Fuck off. We all know it's really code for anti maha. We know that. Now I'm gonna say don't. Don't even worry about the topics because it doesn't matter because nobody's listening. She doesn't even have a YouTube channel. What are we doing? You have a podcast, but you don't have a YouTube channel. Again, I wonder why. All right. But anyway, I'm just being a bitch. I'm just being a full. We are now competing with daddy's ex girlfriend, Monica Lewinsky in the podcast space. And just like Monica, Chelsea is rehashing the same shit over and over and over. Now, just for kicks, let's take a look at Monica, host of the Reclaiming podcast, talking about the Clinton scandal for the millionth time over on Call Her Daddy.
Kennedy (Daily Mail Colleague)
It was devastating. You know, it was devastating at the time. And I think what, you know, what we see now in today's world. And as, as a grown woman, I.
Maureen Callahan
Hate to break it to any 24.
Kennedy (Daily Mail Colleague)
Year olds listening to this because I know from 21 to 20, like 25, you think you know everything. You're like, I'm a fucking adult now. I know everything. I'm so sorry to tell you. You will look back on this time and be like, oh.
Maureen Callahan
What an original observation. What an original thought. She's just brought to us all that we can really, really just like think on that. When you're in your early 20s, you think you know everything. It's called a cliche, Monica. This is why, it's why your podcast isn't like making any waves in the culture. And by the way, that Unwell bottle next to her, I mean, I know that's Alex Cooper's brand, Unwell, but that Unwell bottle next to her, I mean, that is some next level trolling because I think Monica Lewinsky is unwell. I think when you perseverate on something that happened to you, this was 97, 98, the writers doing math, 30 years ago, almost 30 years ago. I think that means you are unwell and you should really be in the care of a psychoanalyst or a psychiatrist who can help you move past this. Because she's got nothing else to say. That's what's up. And I mean, I do think something's wrong with her. I think there's a cynical part of me that thinks like, this is the podcast. Because it's the only thing that's remotely interesting about Monica Lewinsky. She's otherwise not an interesting person, frankly. The Clinton Lewinsky scan, that was the best thing that ever could have happened to her. She really enjoys being famous and this is the only thing she's got to get there and to stay here, you know what I'm saying? In like the world of media. Now, there is a video of her on stage. She partnered with Amanda Knox on yet another iteration of the Amanda Knox story. And similarly, I'm really sick of hearing about it. We know the Amanda Knox story. How many iterations do we possibly need? But anyway, here's Monica on stage with Amanda Knox. The Daily Mail had this video crying, crying about what happened to her back in 97 or 98. Let's take a look. I know it was important for, for.
Kennedy (Daily Mail Colleague)
Both Amanda and myself, and I think.
Maureen Callahan
Audio is not great. I apologize. In the finale, as also in episode.
Kennedy (Daily Mail Colleague)
Seven and 20th television and Hulu were so incredible to.
Maureen Callahan
To let us do this was showing the aftermath because it's very hard for people to understand that this happens not just to a person, but to a family and. Oh, my God. Okay, it's enough. It's enough. Listen. Her tears, while I believe are genuine, are very disturbing. She should be well past this. She should be able to. To joke about it. She really should. If she were healthy, if she were a healthy, integrated person, she would be able to make a joke about it. And sorry, honey, this is the cost of business. Your tears are what's getting you meetings with the people at 20th and Hulu. We're such an industry insider. Now off. Off. Okay, now back to Chelsea's new podcast. Let's take a look at her teaser, which luckily or unluckily has a visual component. This went up on Instagram as I'm talking to you now. This thing is five days ago or six days ago, and at this very moment, her trailer has a devastating 832 likes.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
Is it just me or are things really weird right now? In the world of public health, every day seems to bring yet another confusing headline. Public health claim. We're living in a time when vaccines, one of the greatest advances in human history, are somehow up for debate. And where parents scroll TikTok tock and maybe only TikTok for medical advice, not to mention the cuts to cancer research, to brain health research, to women's health.
Maureen Callahan
Research, we're knitting our eyebrows.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
Total dismantling of the suicide prevention hotline for LGBTQ + kids. People's lives are at risk. So on my new podcast, that can't be true, we're going to sort fact from fiction on the issues that relate to our health. I'm Chelsea Clinton, an advocate, author, teacher, investor, and most importantly, mom, who is navigating this somewhat crazy time right alongside you. And I'm teaming up with Lemonada Media to shine a light on what's real.
Maureen Callahan
Oh, my God. Okay, we're done. We're done. This is so boring. It's so boring and it's so earnest. And I love the, like, the eyebrows knitting. Like, I'm just so confused, confused by what's happened. You know, listen, your dad was in a position to, you know, listen. Public health. There are fewer words that incite joy and excitement and provocative feelings and edge than the words public health. I immediately. I just. I conk out. Now this. This latest attempt to slingshot Chelsea into media fame is a joint production between Lemonada, late of Meghan Markle, and the Clinton foundation, and it seems they're very proud of this. So Clinton foundation donors just know this is, this is where your money's going to. The charity case is Chelsea, who at age 45, Mommy and Daddy are still trying to buy her a media career using the Clinton Foundation's coffers. And I'll say this, the media, despite the presence of Nepo baby Jenna, Bush Hager, we got to keep that Bush in there because that's what's making us relevant. And Michelle Obama and Oprah's platonic friend Gail. Those three aside, media is largely a place that's a meritocracy. It is a place where talent will win out every time. Every time. It is so competitive, it is so difficult. It is often cutthroat that bosses simply do not have tolerance for anyone who can't or won't get the job done. Let alone a would be reporter who needs to finish all of her sentences and be spoken to very politely and insists that her remit will only be good news. Okay. Chelsea Clinton has never had a real job. She lives in a 10 million dollar Union Square apartment in New York City purchased by her parents, doubtless out of guilt over podcast competitor Monica. You know what? Monica has a podcast. Chelsea has a podcast. Chelsea lives in downtown New York City. Monica lives in downtown New York City. They both know Bill Clinton. You know what they should do? They should team up. Chelsea, do you want to go viral? Do you want to make headlines and generate some clicks and get some eyeballs on your otherwise loser podcast? Sit down with Monica. You and she can talk about reclaiming and you can talk to her about what's sickness is. Because I think you're both sick, just not in the ways that you think. So let's listen to Chelsea try to be a relatable. Just a relatable mom. Just a relatable mom. Which is really, I think the province of cowards. I'm a relatable mom trying to figure out what is best for her kid.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
My 9 year old told me the other day that we have enough iron in our bodies to make a three inch nail.
Candace Owens (Reading Email)
There you go.
Maureen Callahan
Right? I was like, wow, I don't even know that that's true. But it must be. I don't either.
Candace Owens (Reading Email)
Science class.
Maureen Callahan
I don't know, but I think, I.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
Think he learned it in science class since he's definitely not scrolling Instagram or has any access to technology.
Maureen Callahan
Yeah, probably actually.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
Yeah, like, or a National Geographic.
Maureen Callahan
National Geographic.
Candace Owens (Reading Email)
Science class.
Chelsea Clinton (Podcast Clips)
But I'm not going to eat a 3 inch nail. Even though apparently.
Maureen Callahan
Oh, that's fine. I have enough money in my body. That's so witty. I'm not going to eat a 3 inch nail. My son. So she doesn't even know where her kid is learning this stuff. And by the way, her kid is 9. Chelsea, if your kid. You think your child has no access to technology? If he wants to get it, he'll get it. Wake up, sister. But she has no idea where he's getting this stuff, even though she's just a relatable mom, you know? And she's got to disabuse. Clearly, she's raising some geniuses over here. I can't. I can't. Anyway, here's what Chelsea said of herself in 2013. And I quote, I wish that I had. This might be one of the saddest things I've ever heard. I wish that I had one galvanizing ambition, that I could reverse engineer my life toward. Truer words. Truer words. Listen, sister, making a good podcast is harder than it looks, okay? I think everybody thinks you can just do it. You know, I'm sure Chelsea thinks she's the smartest person in the room. The Nerve wouldn't be the Nerve without Team Nerve. You know what I'm saying? Like, she thinks. I know. You know, she thinks she's the smartest person in the room and she's doing her podcast. It's like a public service, which is boring. Nobody wants a public service podcast. That's what NPR is for. Just, Chelsea, just take your ever present ongoing existential crisis and just go away, okay? Just go away. And that, my beloved troublemakers, that does it for tonight. Thank you. Thank you for joining us on our very first edition of the Nerve at Night. We are already having so much fun putting the show together and we want to hear from you about what you would love as recurring segments for this or recurring guests for the Nerve at Night and what you want for the sub stack, which we cannot wait to give you. Hit me up as you so often do via email@maureenevilmaycaremedia.com or DM me on Instagram @maureen callahanrider or henerv show until Friday, where we will see you back here at the Nerve where you will never guess what we're about to say next.
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In this inaugural “Nerve at Night” edition, Maureen Callahan dives boldly into the darker undercurrents of pop culture, celebrity, and true crime. With her signature skepticism and biting humor, she scrutinizes the public and private personas of Ryan Reynolds, Cheryl Hines, and Chelsea Clinton. Along the way, Callahan shares listener dilemmas, launches a new Substack for her audience, and promises no-holds-barred coverage of entitled Hollywood and political elite.
Timestamp: [01:12]
Timestamp: [05:55 – 44:54]
References a major falling out between Reynolds, his wife Blake Lively, and filmmaker Justin Baldoni, supported by:
Industry “Monster”:
Child Actor Incident:
Past "Deviancy":
Sexual Assault "Joke":
Professional Fallout:
Candace Owens reads an email from Reynolds’ childhood drama teacher:
Physical Abuse:
Arson Confession:
Timestamp: [45:28 – 61:55]
Timestamp: [62:07 – 89:38]
Current Launch:
Pseudo-Relatability:
For Those Who Haven’t Listened:
This episode is a master class in Maureen Callahan’s brand of no-nonsense pop culture criticism—a combination of serious allegations, cultural analysis, and darkly comic commentary. If you want the inside scoop on Hollywood’s darkest open secrets and the ongoing saga of political “Nepo babies,” this is an episode you can’t miss.