Timothée Chalamet’s Oscar FLOP, Teyana Taylor’s Entitlement, and More JFK Jr. Revisionism

Summary

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Podcast Summary

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Episode: Timothée Chalamet’s Oscar FLOP, Teyana Taylor’s Entitlement, and More JFK Jr. Revisionism

Date: March 17, 2026
Host: Maureen Callahan
Guest/Co-host: Kinsey Schofield

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Overview

This episode of The Nerve delves into a no-holds-barred, witty, and often scathing wrap-up of the 2026 Oscars, focusing on Hollywood's most self-inflated stars, viral faux pas, and overblown narratives—both from the red carpet and the op-ed pages. Maureen Callahan, joined by Kinsey Schofield, scrutinizes Timothée Chalamet's humiliating Oscar night, Teyana Taylor’s alleged entitlement and red carpet behavior, the recurring cultural whitewashing of JFK Jr.'s legacy, and the general state of Hollywood hubris and hypocrisy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Timothée Chalamet’s Oscar Flop (04:16–14:31)

• General Tone: Sharp, mocking, and unsparing, especially toward Chalamet's failed Oscar campaign.
• The “Bum Drum” Incident:
  • Chalamet was publicly mocked at the Oscars as an orchestra member played ping pong paddles on a prosthetic rear—referred to as the "Chalamet Bum drum"—while he was forced to laugh along.
  • Quote (Maureen, 06:12):
    “And this is Timothée’s great arthouse movie, mind you. In his mind, he's accomplished some top level shit that deserved the Oscar. And this is what the Academy is saying to him, which is, fuck you. We think you're a joke.”
• Red Carpet Reactions & Styling:
  • Noted Chalamet's “angry poor loser” face before the ceremony and his unsuccessful attempt to look more masculine, drawing comparisons to Kevin from the Backstreet Boys rather than a movie star.
  • Discussed Spielberg’s shade and publicist literally steering Chalamet away red carpet snub (09:30–10:26).
• Unforced Errors:
  • Chalamet’s dismissive public comments about ballet and opera, which rebounded as the Academy spotlighted these very art forms in the broadcast.
  • Academy and industry backlash, including Misty Copeland’s pointed participation after Chalamet’s offhand comments (11:15–12:27).
• Insider Analysis:
  • The flop is predicted to have long-term effects on Chalamet’s leading man credentials.
  • Callahan’s verdict: Chalamet’s likability and stardom aperture in Hollywood is closing rapidly.

2. Oscars Wins & Notable Moments (14:31–26:53)

• Paul Thomas Anderson’s Hollow Speech:
  • Anderson’s virtue-signaling during his acceptance speech, in contrast to the controversial content of his award-winning film.
  • Quote (Maureen, 15:55):
    “Says the guy who directed a scene in which Teyana Taylor shoves a gun up Sean Penn’s ass during sex.”
• Teyana Taylor’s Entitlement & Faux Pas:
  • Critiqued for her over-the-top reaction to losing Best Supporting Actress, likened to Nicole Kidman’s infamous "seal clap" and possibly trolling (19:13–19:35).
  • Publicly stole Anderson’s moment onstage by trying to grab his Oscar and upstage him (21:02–21:41).
  • Viral red carpet confrontation with a security guard, accused of being classless (23:28–25:13).
  • Quote (Maureen, 25:13): “Could you imagine pointing your finger at somebody on a red carpet like that? I mean, that's Real Housewives behavior.”
• Winners: Michael B. Jordan’s Humility:
  • Contrasted Chalamet’s failed attitude with Michael B. Jordan’s down-to-earth win and celebratory stop at In-N-Out (25:32–26:39).
  • Quote (Kinsey, 26:19):
    “Michael B. is literally in a room full of strangers… clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.”

3. Gwyneth Paltrow & Female Star Desperation (26:53–29:27)

• Gwyneth’s almost-revealing red carpet gown critiqued as “desperate,” alongside a broader critique of older Hollywood women’s search for continued relevance.
• Discussion of GLP1 abuse and body image anxiety among stars (28:50–29:27).

4. Hollywood PR Deflections: The “Mom” Defense (30:06–33:35)

• Paul Feig’s Red Carpet Interview:
  • When asked about Blake Lively, Feig resorts to “she’s a great mom” as her sole redeeming quality.
  • Quote (Maureen, 31:06): “Yes. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Top level shit, kids, is mom.”
• Discussion of the “mom” pivot in celebrity PR—how being a mom is used to excuse or distract from bad behavior.

5. Troublemaker Feedback (36:13–47:56)

• Read and riffed on several “troublemaker” listener emails, focusing on:
  • The collective satisfaction at Chalamet’s Oscar loss (“Timothy Shamalama Ding dong looks like a hospital orderly.” – 42:55)
  • Critique of Oscars hosts, plastic surgery, and Hollywood’s current delusions.
  • Praise for Michael B. Jordan and Ethan Hawke, and playful shots at other celebrities.

6. Media Critique: Maureen Dowd & JFK Jr. Revisionism (48:47–67:22)

• Maureen launches a blistering, detailed takedown of Maureen Dowd’s New York Times op-ed on JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette, arguing that:
  • The piece is lazy nostalgia, mythmaking, and whitewashing of genuine recklessness.
  • Quote (Maureen, 54:42): “The guy, he was a hot guy looking for a good time and he wanted to be taken seriously, even though he was spoiled, entitled, and had a death wish for the ages.”
  • Dowd regurgitates tired Camelot tropes and ignores or minimizes the real ugly side of Kennedy family history.
  • Cites evidence from NTBS and her own reporting to argue that JFK Jr.’s death was not a tragic accident but gross negligence, even possibly a murder-suicide.
  • Critiques women in media who continue to romanticize the Kennedys instead of holding them accountable.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Chalamet’s Loss:
  “You can sense the realization that if they're willing to go this far on stage… he's probably not going to make it home with that trophy, which he clearly wanted with the desperation of, you know, this validates my existence on planet Earth…” (Maureen, 07:36)

• On Teyana Taylor’s behavior:
  “Act like this is the beginning of a very long career. Understand that you are new in this space, show the proper decorum.” (Maureen, 22:23)

• On Gwyneth Paltrow:
  “She’s desperate to be seen as just a sprightly again, like our favorite sprightly 900-year-old heroine. She’s just a sexy post-menopausal woman of a certain age who’s gotta flap her vag on a freaking Oscars red carpet.” (Maureen, 28:47)

• On Hollywood’s “Mom” Defense:
  “What simpletons like this fail to realize is that being a mother doesn’t make you a good person. There are plenty of really bad moms out there…” (Maureen, 31:28)

• On JFK Jr. Mythology:
  “This is boilerplate, dusty, musty, textbook bullshit from the 1960s. Turn the family into a powerhouse with a clever formula: Alchemize great hair, great teeth… they’re very big, they’re very prominent. They’re not great teeth.” (Maureen, 56:08)

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Timestamps: Key Segments

• Chalamet Oscars Campaign & Ridicule: 04:16–14:31
• Paul Thomas Anderson/Teyana Taylor Analysis: 14:31–25:13
• Hollywood's Desperate Women (Gwyneth, etc): 26:53–29:27
• The "Mom" Defense & Blake Lively: 30:06–33:35
• Troublemaker Feedback (Listener Mail): 36:13–47:56
• JFK Jr. Op-ed & Media Takedown: 48:47–67:22

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Tone & Style

• Language: Candid, acerbic, and colloquial; peppered with in-jokes, pop culture references, and playful snark.
• Energy: High-paced, opinionated, occasionally profane, skeptical of Hollywood and media mythmaking.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Nerve delivered a deeply entertaining and incisive dissection of the Oscar ceremony and Hollywood's ongoing penchant for self-delusion, PR games, and sanitized legacy-building. Maureen Callahan and Kinsey Schofield’s dynamic banter, mixed with listener feedback and fearless media critique, ensures listeners leave with a highly unvarnished take on both recent celebrity missteps and the persistent rewriting of American cultural history.

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For more fearless commentary, subscribe to The Nerve and join the “troublemaker” community every week.

Transcript

[Maureen Callahan]

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[Kinsey Schofield]

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[Kinsey Schofield]

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[Maureen Callahan]

We've got brands you love like Waif, Princess, Polly, Mango, Adidas and Favorite daughter. Plus free shipping, free returns and quick order pickup. Make updating your closet effortless. Shop in [e-mail] or download our app. Is the discipline and the work ethic I'm bringing to these things, I don't want people to take for granted. I don't want to take for granted. This is really some top level shit. Hello and welcome to your Tuesday edition of the Nerve. I am your host, Maureen Callahan. Today we are doing our wrap up of Sunday night's Oscars. Timothy Shyamalama. Ding dong Lost. You want some top level shit? Come right over to the Nerve, my co host right now. The Nerves Woodchipper. The Nerves Woodchipper making its long awaited in person debut on our Oscars livestream. We may have had some technical difficulties, but the wood chipper performed impeccably. Impeccably. That's right, impeccably. So we're gonna be talking all the biggest headlines, all the wardrobe fails, all of the stars who behaved badly with Kinsey Schofield, who stayed an extra day to be with us in person. So that's gonna be fun. She's gonna come right in, then we're gonna do some troublemaker feedback. And then we've got one of the most wrongheaded opinion pieces I have read yet about Love story. John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. This is done by a very famous opinion writer, a woman no less. And if anyone needs to be taken to the woodshed, long overdue, it's this one. You guys are gonna love it. So are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go. Your liver does more than you know when it comes to energy, hormones, digestion and even regulating your mood. But stress, toxins and processed food are constantly overloading it. So what can you do? Introducing Peak's liver detox protocol. This two step system is both gentle and powerful. Peak leverages nature's most potent botanicals, minerals and vitamins. Combines them with their cutting edge extraction technology. To create supplements that make a difference. The protocol has two main parts. A strong Sri Lankan turmeric mixed with C cinnamon and black pepper to help your body absorb it better. And a spicy Sri Lankan ginger combined with cinnamon to support your immune system, improve blood flow and help with digestion. This all leads to less bloating, steadier energy and a clearer head. No miracles, just consistent well being. Peak elevates nature's best with cutting edge tech. Pure, effective. So ditch the fads and commit to intentional health. Unlock 20% off and establish your powerful foundation for sustainability. Sustained well [e-mail] thenerve that's P I Q U E life.com thenerve as promised. Kinsey Schofield of the Must Subscribe Kinsey Schofield Unfiltered is here with us at the Nerve to talk about everything worth talking about at Nerve, the Oscars. Kinsey, welcome back to the Nerve. How are we feeling?

[Kinsey Schofield]

This is our Oscars hangover.

[Maureen Callahan]

It is. The set is pretty much the same as the way we left it. It's kind of a mess. Joan and Betty are front and center. Betty with her pearls and her cigarette. Spirit animal back from the days when I smoked popcorn and the top level shit, which has gone nowhere. Timothy lost. Timothy lost. And not only did he lose Kinsey, he was the butt of many jokes at the Oscars. And as we say at the Nerve, celebrity on celebrity. Violence is very rare, especially in public and especially at a ceremony like the Oscars where they're all supposed to lift each other up and you know, it's all about making the movies a commercial. You know, they're really dying. And so it was like they couldn't not address the elephant in the room, which was not only Timothy Shyamalama Ding Dong's disastrous Oscar campaign.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Right.

[Maureen Callahan]

But they shut out Marty supreme on the whole.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Yeah. Unreal. Unreal.

[Maureen Callahan]

And this was tipped to be. To sweep best actor to potentially win best picture again. I mean, I would like to give the Nerve credit. The Nerve credit for being the first to say, hey, I don't care what Hollywood's pumping into the cultural bloodstream, a movie about underground ping pong isn't gonna cut it. Isn't gonna cut it. So first, let's take a look. Would you like to come to me? Ted, he's.

[Kinsey Schofield]

He's a preferred mother figure in here.

[Maureen Callahan]

You know, it's Kinsey loves Teddy.

[Kinsey Schofield]

I'm obsessed with him.

[Maureen Callahan]

I couldn't believe this when I saw it. Kinsey. They called this the Chalamet Bum drum at the Oscars. Oh, we are going to watch a white tuxedoed member of the orchestra play a pair. I'm not. I can't spoil it. Let's take a look and we'll talk about it on the back end. Here we go.

[Guest or Interviewee]

Timothy Chalamet.

[Maureen Callahan]

Bum drum. Okay. That is an orchestra member taking two ping pong paddles to a prosthetic rear end and playing them like a drum while Timothy has to sit there and laugh. And this is Timothee's great arthouse movie, mind you. In his mind, he's accomplished some top level shit that deserved the Oscar. And this is what the Academy is saying to him, which is, fuck you. We think you're a joke.

[Kinsey Schofield]

And as we described earlier, they. When it comes to Kylie and Timothy, they think that they are a power couple. They think that he's gonna walk out with the Oscar or he's gonna have the Oscar at the Vanity Fair Oscar party where his girlfriend is really the

[Maureen Callahan]

unofficial host because she's the COVID of Vanity Fair this month. Yep.

[Kinsey Schofield]

And you can see he's trying to be a good sport but dying a little inside because, you know, he thinks that he's above that kind of humor.

[Maureen Callahan]

Oh, yes.

[Kinsey Schofield]

That humor's beneath him, that he would never kind of go there. So you kind of watch him shrivel. And as wide as his smile is, you can feel his body, like, sinking into his seat.

[Maureen Callahan]

And you can sense the realization that if they're willing to go this far on stage on a broadcast that billions of people once watched, he's probably not going to make it home with that. That trophy, which he clearly wanted with the desperation of, you know, this validates my existence on planet Earth, winning this Oscar. Let's take a look at Timothy on the red carpet. I believe that what we are looking at here is the face of someone who is an angry poor loser. This is before the ceremony, and it's really written all over his face. I mean, what are you seeing when you look at this image?

[Kinsey Schofield]

I do see defeat, but I also see the Golden Girls fire. The person that did your hair, those are little crimson curls on a grown ass man. And it makes me uncomfortable.

[Maureen Callahan]

You were asking earlier if it was a perm.

[Kinsey Schofield]

I legitimately was asking if this was a perm. That is how taken aback I was by this. And I, you know, not to make Marlena mad, but thank you for being a friend is still playing in my head every time I see this. Because he looks like a golden girl.

[Maureen Callahan]

I actually think that this styling team with him. You know, a lot of the criticism about Timothy and the nerve is, like, at the vanguard of it is that he looks like he's 12 years old. Julia Roberts reportedly turned down the leading lady role in that movie or the role of the fading movie star, because she said, hey, I'm gonna look like I'm molesting a kid. I'm not doing that. I don't care if you want to cut me a check for 20 mil. I don't need it. Gwyneth took it. We're gonna get to Gwyneth in a minute. But I think. I think that the note that the styling team got was that we need to rough this guy up a little bit and try as we might to make him look a little more masculine. That hair, to me, feels like an attempt at working some of Jacob Elordi's magic.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Oh, yes.

[Maureen Callahan]

Which Timothy cannot do because Timothy does not have the height. He does not have the bearing or the balls, and he doesn't have the masculinity, quite frankly, of a Jacob Elordi. He's not. Jacob Elordi could potentially be a movie star he really like. And I'm talking a movie star in the vein of a Brad Pitt. You know, the. The dying breed that we're really witnessing. But it's not going to be Timote. And I think this loss is going to be. It's going to have a long tail. And we'll get into why in a moment here. We're going to look at Steven Spielberg snubbing Timote on the red carpet. Steven Spielberg right now is on entrance cam. He just kind of shaded to me in his comments about ballet and oper. Now Timmy is gonna walk behind him. So I kind of want to know, can we stay here, please, for the gossips, for those who missed it. Finally, entertainment journalists doing their job.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Right?

[Maureen Callahan]

Right.

[Kinsey Schofield]

I think this is actually a Canadian outlet, too.

[Maureen Callahan]

Leave it to the Canadians. Look at this. Spielberg's keeping his back here. He's trying to get in there.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Yeah, watch. Watch his publicist grab him, though. I think she grabs him. Yeah. See, his publicist pushes him and told

[Maureen Callahan]

him to get out of there, that it wasn't happening with Spielberg. That's great footage. Thank you to our Canadian colleagues who are doing it right. This is why Access Hollywood got canceled. They're never gonna talk about that. Timothy also just looks like an asshole with those sunglasses on.

[Kinsey Schofield]

He looks ridiculous. It's funny that you say they try to make him look more manly, because what was trending on the Internet was comparisons to Kevin from the Backstreet Boys, which is not exactly what I associate with manly. Everybody dropping, like, everybody over picture.

[Maureen Callahan]

That's not good. No, especially not only that. In a week that just saw Harry Styles hosting SNL host and musical performer and, you know, Harry sort of occupies a space in the culture that I think Timothy would kill for, for sure. I really do. And I just think. I just think this was such a. Such a disaster for him on every level after he made those comments about ballet and opera, like, not mattering anymore, that nobody cares about them and they're not important. Steven Spielberg was at south by Southwest last week and made a point of saying how important opera and ballet are. And then the Academy went and invited the recently retired prima ballerina Misty Copeland to perform at the Oscars. It was such, like, the amount of muscle that went into shading and shaming this guy. I love it. The Oscars should do more of it out your own trash. Let's look at the Daily Mails video about how Timote Shamalama Ding Dong's disastrous Oscar night unfolded. Here we go.

[Guest or Interviewee]

Security is extremely tight tonight. I just got to mention that. Yeah, I'm told there's concerns about attacks from both the opera and ballet communities.

[Maureen Callahan]

Michael B. Joy. And here we see Timothy slap on a smile as Michael B. Jordan's name is announced as the best actor of the year.

[Kinsey Schofield]

And did you see how everybody jumps out of their seat when he wins? Like, they are so thrilled for Michael B. Jordan. And that has to feel like a slap in the face. Not to Leonardo DiCaprio, who you see embrace Michael B. Jordan at one point. And Michael B. Jordan breaks down like they're holding each other. You know, everyone was rooting for this guy and for, you know, Timothy, he did that big sphere promotion where he's on top of the sphere. He went so over the top that I think aside from those comments, it turned a lot of people off because they just thought you're obnoxious.

[Maureen Callahan]

He is obnoxious. And not only. So the ballet and the opera comments, which really, they came right as Oscar voting was wrapping up. Misty Copeland made a point of saying, hey, this guy came to me when Marty supreme was about to come out and was like, will you wear the merch and post on social media about Marty Supreme? And she did. She did. Along with the likes of Tom Brady and all this other muscle. And so he's just a classless asshole. Okay? And if we are lucky enough, his team will. Will get through to him that what he needs to do is go away for a very long time before trying to re emerge with a modicum of humility. This guy, I do not think the aperture is open very long for him in film. He is not a leading man. He's not. Do you remember, you might not know this reference, but Bud Court, who starred in Harold and Maude, do you remember him?

[Kinsey Schofield]

No.

[Maureen Callahan]

It's a classic movie, and it's about this strange love affair between an old lady, an old lady and a younger man played by Bud Court. I get Bud Court energy from Timothee Chalamet. I get eccentric Incelie Weasel. Okay, now we're gonna move to Paul Thomas Anderson, who's one battle after another, swept the awards, and the culture will look back on this as a major mistake. It'll be like the year that Crash beat out Brokeback Mountain. You know it's gonna be like that. But Paul Thomas Anderson, another one high on his own supply. We're gonna watch him. We're gonna listen to a little bit of his acceptance speech for best adapted screenplay. He also directed One Battle After Another. And it's not a histrionic self regarding Oscar speech if we're not invoking what pieces of shit we all are. Okay, here we go.

[Kinsey Schofield]

I wrote this movie for my kids to say sorry for the housekeeping mess that we left in this world we're handing off to them. But also, you should have word, a encouragement that they will be the generation that hopefully brings us some common sense and decency.

[Maureen Callahan]

Says the guy who directed a scene in which Teyana Taylor shoves a gun up Sean Penn's ass during sex. And there's not one word of that statement that is hyperbole. This is what this guy. This is the movie this guy made. But you would think he's speaking to the U.N. yeah. Are you effing kidding me?

[Kinsey Schofield]

I mean, like, this is such a horrible world. Yeah, it is. When I go to a movie theater, try to enjoy a movie with my dad, and I have to watch a scene where there's a gun shoved up somebody's B hole. And I mean, obviously Sean Penn's not proud of it if he.

[Maureen Callahan]

He didn't show up.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Yeah, he didn'.

[Maureen Callahan]

He didn't even show up.

[Kinsey Schofield]

I loved how Kieran Culkin got up there and was like, yeah, I'm accepting this on behalf of Sean Benn because he didn't want to be here. I mean, that was the most honest. Not that speech. Kieran Culkin being like, Sean Penn didn't

[Maureen Callahan]

want to be here.

[Kinsey Schofield]

That was the most honest moment of the night. Let's do it.

[Maureen Callahan]

You know who else didn't want to be there? Meryl Streep, who did not show up to promote the devil wears Prada 2, which is one of the few major theatrical releases that has a really good shot at putting butts in seats in movie theaters, which is what Hollywood needs. Instead, it was Anna Wintour and Anne Hathaway, and we were talking on the livestream about the very real likelihood that Meryl Streep knows that movie is a piece of shit and she wasn't gonna use her star power to promote it on the Oscars. She didn't wanna spend hours in hair and makeup and doing the whole rigmarole, you know, when she knows the movie's mediocre at best.

[Kinsey Schofield]

And let's be honest, Anna Wintour needed a nice little bump in positive press after she did that interview with Chloe Maul where she looks like she wants to rip her face off. And that was the big takeaway.

[Maureen Callahan]

Oh. Oh, it was awful. Where, like, you're Chloe and I'm Anna and you're speaking and I'm like this, get me out of here. Yeah, get me out.

[Kinsey Schofield]

You're just missing your shades, you know?

[Maureen Callahan]

Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, she is the ice Queen bitch supreme, you know, and that's kind of what people want. But. Okay, let's move on to Teyana Taylor. Who? Another one I cannot stand. And I am hoping now that this Olympian awards season is over, they've got to truncate this thing. They have got to. Because by the time we get to the Oscars, we're fed up with these people. Like, I don't want to see Teyana Taylor in my feed, in my algorithm. I don't want to see her anywhere. She had so many awful moments last night. And Hollywood, again, has only themselves to blame because they gassed these people up. You made her like they're the second coming. You built this monster. You deal with this monster. Okay, first we're going to look at her. She was nominated for Best Supporting Actress. I think she thought she had it in the bag for sure. I think she thought she had it in the bag. And like, let's just say it. Like they were like, she. They probably thought there was no denying a black actress on the come up, right?

[Kinsey Schofield]

Yeah.

[Maureen Callahan]

You know, but Amy Madigan won for weapons. And we're going to watch Teyana Taylor, who caught a lot of shit online for what people are calling an over the top fake reaction that may or may not be trolling. Oh. Teyana Taylor jumping out of her seat as Amy Madigan wins the award Teyana thought she was going to get. Just my opinion. Here we go. And the Oscar goes to.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Amy Madigan.

[Maureen Callahan]

That, to me felt like. Remember that year Nicole Kidman went viral for the seal clap, where her hands were like, her fingers almost bent back and they were like. And she was like, like, that's what that felt like. That did not feel genuine to me. Am I. Am I a little too cynical about this or.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Well, the way she also jumped out of her seat, it. I felt like maybe she thought she was like she had blacked out, didn't hear the right name, and she's like. And then she must respond in a positive way. Otherwise.

[Maureen Callahan]

I think you're right.

[Kinsey Schofield]

That was. That was. I. I'm embarrassed for her right there. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be cruel, but I was embarra for her right there. Also, Meghan loves to seal clap. Meghan Markle. She seal claps for herself.

[Maureen Callahan]

Does she?

[Kinsey Schofield]

Yeah, you're right. She does.

[Maureen Callahan]

You're absolutely right. Someone who wasn't there. Meghan Markle.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Meghan Markle. Not invited.

[Maureen Callahan]

Meghan Markle. Not invited. Blake Lively. Not invited. Psycho arsonist Ryan. Not invited. Here with us in spirit. We've got our mini fire extinguishers here. But, you know, okay, so here we're gonna go to Tiana. I saw when I watched this, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I mean, you know, when you run up to awards season, celebrities, their team, you are prepped for everything and for the way you're supposed to behave. You're prepped to win graciously. You're prepped to lose graciously. You are an actor. You should be prepping and rehearsing your responses. Here she is. Paul Thomas Anderson wins again. I think it was for director or best picture. Whatever. Here she is, stealing his moment. Stealing his moment in, I think, one of the most gruesome ways I've ever seen. Here we go.

[Guest or Interviewee]

Six Oscars tonight for casting actor in a supporting role.

[Kinsey Schofield]

She might, oh, my gosh.

[Maureen Callahan]

Jumping up and down, throwing her head back. Not only jumping up and down, grabbing an Oscar statuette, grabbing an Oscar like, he looks like, get off of me. And I've never, I don't think since Julia Roberts kind of overshadowed Denzel Washington's win the year she opened the envelope and said, oh, I love my life so much right now. And then, like, you know, practically dry humped him on Stage. Have we seen an actress steal someone else's win in this way?

[Kinsey Schofield]

It's like my favorite saying is, act like you've been there before. And she had not been there before. I mean, that was, again, so cringe, so embarrassing. It makes you wonder if she has the right team around her. Because you're absolutely right. They typically do prep you, and you're typically ready to go. And this just seems like someone that was totally unprepared or had too much alcohol. I don't know if she had too much fun beforehand. We know the snack boxes didn't have much going on inside, so maybe she

[Maureen Callahan]

was hungry or it's just somebody who's. Who cannot get enough of the. You know, it's the Timothy Shyamalama ding dong disease. Also, act like this is not the last time you're going to be there.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Right, right, right, right.

[Maureen Callahan]

Act like this is the beginning of a very long career. Understand that you are new in this space show. The proper decorum. She was seated next to Leo DiCaprio. We're going to get into this in a. In a nerve this week with Mark Bowden. She was acting up in her chair, you know, just like making a scene, doing a lot of this. I thought Leo hated that. Leo was staring straight ahead. Leo was right next to her. He was ignoring it. Ignoring it. And by the way, not for nothing, Leo DiCaprio is the king of Hollywood, and I'm gonna tell you why. He was seated in Jack Nicholson's old seat. Front and center, front row. Remember how every year Jack Nicholson, no matter whether he was in a film, let alone nominated, had that front row seat, center, dead center. That's Leo's now. And that was another message to Timothe. Don't get ahead of yourself like this. This guy is the one we adore. This guy is the one who's gonna keep Hollywood afloat, not the likes of you. Now we're gonna look at Teyana Taylor getting into a confrontation.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Oh, my God.

[Maureen Callahan]

On the red carpet at the Oscars. Here we go. You're a man putting your hands on a fe. She's pointing and yelling at a security guard. And we don't see what happened before or after that. We can let it go now.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Oh, she's still going, though.

[Maureen Callahan]

I mean. Oh, she's still going.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Yeah.

[Maureen Callahan]

Okay. That's all we need to see of that. That's all. But, like, again, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Just the notion that a security guard would put hands on a nominee. I find it difficult to believe I could be wrong. But if anybody's getting fired in that scenario, if anybody's getting escorted off again, this is an Oscar ceremony that allowed Will Smith to smack host Chris Rock in the face on stage. And Will Smith stayed. Celebrities can get away with anything they want. Regular people like us, pessimists cannot. Pessimist. And so again, I think this was a display of very classless behavior on Teyana Taylor's part.

[Kinsey Schofield]

I totally agree with you. That security guard probably makes $12 an hour. And you know, we don't know what the circumstances were. Perhaps it was an accidental bump. I mean, you saw that was body to body. That was very. It was like Walmart on Black Friday is what we just witnessed.

[Maureen Callahan]

Yeah, it's a crowded, packed red carpet. Everybody's jostling. We just saw it with Timothy trying to get. Yeah, right.

[Kinsey Schofield]

So it's pretty vulgar. I would be ashamed of myself. I mean, I hope she's watching because I would be like, oh, if I were.

[Maureen Callahan]

Oh, I doubt she's capable of shame or self reflection at all. I mean, could you imagine pointing your finger at somebody on a red carpet like that? I mean, that's Real Housewives behavior.

[Kinsey Schofield]

It truly is.

[Maureen Callahan]

It's like, get your finger out of my. To quote Meghan Markle, the Prince William allegedly, reportedly. I would appreciate it if you got your finger out of my face. We're gonna move on to Michael B. Jordan.

[Kinsey Schofield]

So cute.

[Maureen Callahan]

The. The very self effacing, very humble. Whether it was genuine or not, he sold it. He's an actor, took his Oscar and went to celebrate it In N Out, which is a time honored tradition. I believe Hilary Swank did that at least one year too. We're gonna take a look at him. Here he is at In N Out and he is. Oh my gosh, everyone in there is just cheering for the guy. Oh, you know, all the employees behind, like, he's so like, that's how you do it, Timothy. That could have been you. But it's not.

[Kinsey Schofield]

But it wouldn't have been because he would have arrogantly flaunted it on the Vanity Fair red car.

[Maureen Callahan]

Exactly.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Whereas Michael B.

[Maureen Callahan]

We can take that down now. That's great.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Michael B. Is literally in a room full of strangers. Now, photographers did follow him in there, but there were a lot of. We got these videos from normal people that were out there just ordering a double double. And I will just say, clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. I've loved him since Friday Night Lights. I think he is a good, good, genuine, sweet Boy, And I think that they couldn't have picked a better winner last night.

[Maureen Callahan]

He got his start on the wire, and he was incredible on the wire. And so, you know, I think Hollywood made, you know, we at the Nerve. And I personally was pulling for Ethan Hawke. We do love Ethan. We've been robbed.

[Kinsey Schofield]

We do love Ethan.

[Maureen Callahan]

Robbed lo these many years. But, you know, it doesn't matter. Ethan is the superior artist. I'm sorry. He's. He's even better than Michael. Michael's gonna grow into it. Okay, let's take a look at Gwyneth Paltrow, who on the livestream, we made a mistake. We did. We made a mistake. I texted Kinsey, like, hours after the livestream, vis a vis Gwyneth, and said, I changed my mind. We were all raving over her look. What we didn't get to see was the full look. And we're gonna take a look now. Here we go.

[Kinsey Schofield]

If there are children in the room, you might wanna close their eyes. This dress.

[Maureen Callahan]

This dress is white, but it is slit on both sides all the way from the bottom of it to the top, so the vents. And then it sort of. It'll. It flies open as she's walking.

[Kinsey Schofield]

And she's holding it up, too.

[Maureen Callahan]

And she's holding it so you can see her coochie, her ass. Like, you can literally, like, I'm sorry she's an Armani, but this is ridiculous. You know, we talked about the sex scene of Marty supreme in which Timothy Shyamalan, ding dong. Is choking out Gwyneth in a shower. And I said, Kinsey's like, what? What? Asses. Guns up. Asses. Choking out, you know, this is Hollywood for you. And I said, shame on her. She really should have pushed back. But I heard from many people, and one who knows her, that Gwyneth actually is just so desperate for relevance. Sex appeal, it seems, and sex appeal. And, you know, she's always in the media going, oh, I'm an entrepreneur now. I mean, Hollywood would really have to crawl to get me back in the movies. Not so. No, not so. She's desperate to be seen as just a sprightly again, like our favorite sprightly 900-year-old heroine. She's just a sexy, post menopausal woman of a certain age who's gotta flap her vag on a freaking Oscars red carpet.

[Kinsey Schofield]

You can look at it or you can buy the scent of it on goop.com. i have had too much of Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina. I Demand that it stops here. And, you know, like I told you, I kind of like her. So when she does things like this, it makes me not like her, which I hate. Like, I want to like her because I think she's smart and I think she's cool, and then she's. This is just desperate. And we don't like desperate.

[Maureen Callahan]

No. And, you know, that's the thing. It's like, it's hard to fully go, like, you say you want to like her. How can you like somebody who doesn't respect themselves?

[Kinsey Schofield]

Right.

[Maureen Callahan]

She's showing her insecurity, her massive insecurity on the red carpet. Others are showing it through the use and abuse. Just my opinion of GLP1s. Demi Moore needs help. Kelly Osborne needs help. Margot Robbie, who is like, there is no hope for women everywhere if someone is flawless looking as Margot Robbie thinks she needs Ozempic. And the Hollywood machine backs her in that delusion. We're gonna go to Paul Feig on Blake Lively. Paul Feig is on the red carpet at the Oscars. He directed Blake in a simple favor, and I believe he did the sequel, which was not nearly as enjoyable.

[Kinsey Schofield]

No.

[Maureen Callahan]

But he's going to employ my favorite defense of a loathsome Hollywood celebrity. You guys let us know in the comments if you hear the code word that I hear. And I'm gonna see if Kinsey picks up on it, too. Here we go. You're very good friends with Blake. So how is she doing?

[Guest or Interviewee]

Blake is great. She's great. She's just, you know, soldiering on and, you know, she's, you know, she's a. She's such a great mom, and that's such the biggest part of her life that she just continues to be wonderful and her kids are great, and she has a happy marriage, and I love marriage.

[Maureen Callahan]

Yeah, she can't. But you know what? She's got, like, nannies and night nurses and all of that in her very mumbly seductive voice to Justin Baldoni. You know, I'm not really asking you a favor, but I'm gonna tell you how it's gonna go. You know, I don't have a night nurse. She quit. She quit. I have no idea why. Okay. Did you hear the last refuge of the scoundrel when defeated defending the indefensible Kinsey.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Is it mom?

[Maureen Callahan]

Yes. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Top level shit, kids is mom.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Do you know why I picked up on that? Because there's been. Since Meghan Markle fired her last publicist, there's been a real mom pivot. Of Meghan posting pictures with her kids on Instagram. And I felt like she was really going for this family, family, family as a way to try to change her public image. And so that's why I picked up on that.

[Maureen Callahan]

And this is such a mistake, because what simpletons like this fail to realize is that being a mother doesn't make you a good person. There are plenty of really bad moms out there. There are plenty of really horrible women out there. And if you're gonna hide behind your kids and shame on Paul Feig, I would be like, I don't know her. I don't. That's. You realize you have someone like that in your social circle, let alone your life. That's when you go, Taylor Swift, you cut ties. That's it.

[Kinsey Schofield]

I totally agree with you. And, I mean, we have to give that person credit for asking the Blake Lively question, though, because again, I would

[Maureen Callahan]

like to credit the nerve with stoking a little fire under the ass of these red carpet, quote, unquote, journalists.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Go ahead. Yeah. Because that is a painful question. And he really was put in a weird position to. Because if he criticizes her, he had to just be so careful. But it was a lame answer. Like, so what? She's a mom. Plenty of people. Have you seen Teen Mom? Have you seen Teen Mom? Like, plenty of people, have you seen the Duggars?

[Maureen Callahan]

Have you seen welcome to Plathville? There's so many. Or poor parenting out there. Any Real Housewives episode. But, you know, that's the point. And, you know, but I do think, you know, I would like to see the day when a colleague of someone who is truly reprehensible. And I believe that Blake and psycho arsonist Ryan conspired to kill Justin Baldoni's burgeoning career. That is an act of violence, in my opinion. An act of violence. And not only that, she tried to rope in her A list pals, the Matt Damons of the world, to do her dirty work. It was sinister and disgusting. And if I had been asked on a red carpet, hey, aren't you friends with that person? I would say not anymore.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Right. I haven't spoken to her in a long time. Hopefully, she's. Maybe you guys will catch her on the carpet. I don't know. Like, next question. I mean, that was painful. That was painful.

[Maureen Callahan]

You're so diplomatic, Kinsey. I really admire it. I wish I had. I'm trying to cultivate a little more diplomacy.

[Kinsey Schofield]

I don't think so. I think they like you the way you are.

[Maureen Callahan]

Well, that's it for our Oscars. Wrap up, Kinsey Schofield. We love having you live at Nerve Central.

[Kinsey Schofield]

Do you think Teddy does?

[Maureen Callahan]

Teddy does. Why don't you give him a little goodbye cuddle? Give him a little goodbye. He's looking at me. He loves me more. What can I say? He knows where his bread is buttered and his next treat's coming from. All right, you guys. Coming up. Troublemaker feedback. We are back in a moment. After having a few drinks, do you find it hard to bounce back? Are you finding yourself choosing between having a great night or a great day tomorrow? Try Zebiotics Pre Alcohol. This is the first genetically engineered probiotic created by PhD scientists to help you tackle those rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's a buildup of this byproduct, not dehydration, that's really behind those sluggish mornings. Zebiotics Pre Alcohol produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. Just make it your first drink of the night, drink responsibly and feel your best the next day. If you are ready to give Zebiotics a try, go to zebiotics.com nerve now and you will get 15 off your first order when you use code nerve at checkout. That's zebiotics.com nerve and use code nerve at checkout for 15 off.

[Guest or Interviewee]

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[Maureen Callahan]

We are back. We have relocated to Nerve HQ and it is time for troublemaker feedback, we got a lot. And troublemakers the world over rejoiced in the nerve, helping to ensure that Timothy Shamalama, ding dong, he have some top level went home empty handed. Fucker. Good morning, Maureen. I have to tell you, I loved the live stream from Sunday. Thank you. We had technical difficulties. Our little nerve is growing, but we have got our arms around it. This troublemaker says, I thought a lot about what you said regarding Conan hosting the Oscars. He made a lot of it about himself, which Rob Shooter commented on. But what really bothered me, this troublemaker says, me too, me too. Is the last scene of him becoming host of the Oscars for life, which ended with them killing Conan and putting him like in an incinerator. Such stupidity. As you mentioned, he should have dropped out of hosting due to the Reiners. Only in Hollywood would the guy who most was known for most recently hosting a holiday party in which Rob Reiner said to Conan, hey, can I bring my very troubled drug addicted psycho son? And Conan says yes. And the catering staff was reportedly allegedly told hide the knives. And at least one guest allegedly reportedly was so disturbed by Nick Reiner's behavior at that party that they said they wanted to call 91 1, they wanted to call the cops. And Conan allegedly reportedly said, not happening. My house, my party, my rules. This guy's hosting the Oscars, overseeing a tribute to Rob Reiner who might not have been slaughtered that know what I'm saying? I'm not saying it's Conan's fault, but you know what I'm saying? Dear Maureen, I want that. You guys are so generous, you really are, because I actually, I gotta tell you, I had trouble sleeping on Sunday after our technical difficulties. I was so upset. We just only ever want to do the best show we possibly can do for you. Like that's, that's our goal. And I just, I just, I felt awful about it. I really did. And you guys are so great with your emails of encouragement and saying it's cool, like stuff happens. Thank you for this troublemaker. I wanted to let you and everyone at the Nerve know that I really enjoyed the Oscars livestream despite the technical difficulties. If anything, it just made it funnier, in my opinion. That is just so kind. Now this troublemaker is writing from Korea again. The reach of the nerve constantly floors me now, having worked in the industry for a short time, this troublemaker says, I know the amount of work, effort and often sacrifices that the crew makes in order to make films look and sound great. So I find it Disrespectful that they cut them off, especially the lesser award winners. Do you want to have a time limit? It great. Make it for everyone. I couldn't agree with you more. I mean, let's think back to just two weeks ago. Delroy Lindo on stage at the actor awards. You're not cutting me off. I've been going on for what, four minutes now. You're not cutting me off. I've got stuff to say. And then the orchestra stops like subs to his dom. And Delroy Lindo just stands there and laughs nervously because it's turned out he had nothing else to say. Just do what Ricky Gervais says. Thank you. Get off. Hey, Maureen, loved your Oscar red carpet show conversation about the plastic surgery epic fails of celebrities showing how really very sad and sick it is. It is sick. Did you notice that when they were talking about Rob Reiner during the In Memoriam tribute, they barely showed Meg Ryan's face at all? Of course they didn't. I mean, Holly was partly responsible for that and the beauty standards to which they hold women. I mean, Margot Robbie is clearly on Ozempic. As discussed with Kinsey. There's no hope for anybody if Margot Robbie thinks she needs Ozempic. Also, Demi Moore looked like she was hiding in a duck blind in that awful dress. She could barely read the winner because she was trying to look over her feathers. It would be interesting if you could get a plastic surgeon on the nerve to. We've had them before and we've got one coming very, very soon. Cindy from Cali, you troublemaker. To explain why so many of these people have the joker look after their surgery. Dear Maureen, thank you to the Nerve. I. This. This line made me laugh. Laugh out loud. I really do believe we are safer out here in these streets with less crime against the culture tonight. Wow. You are helping to manifest this Oscar loss. Is this charitable work that deserves a qualification for a tax write off? I don't know. We gotta look into it, Marlena. We've got to look into it. The Nerve Philanthropies. We can only dream. Loved Kinsey and Rob. We love Kinsey and Rob here at the Nerve. This troublemaker says that Rob is always bursting with sunshine and good energy. So true. How gracious and adorable is he? Hope his book reaches number one. Troublemakers everywhere. Pre order Rob's book. It started with a whisper. Let's make sure he makes the New York Times bestseller list and represents troublemakers everywhere. Here, it's Kate Troublemaker from Illinois. It was beyond satisfying to see Timothy get denied his Oscar tonight. And I have a few people I would like to thank. I would like to thank God first and foremost for finally activating Timmy's secondary sex characteristics enough to grow that cringe 80s porn stache. Troublemakers are the funniest. It doesn't make you look older, Timote. It just makes you look stupid and nobody can take you seriously. And thank you to the Academy for picking anyone but Timmy. Thank you to Michael B. Jordan for winning. And oh, thank you to you, Maureen, for your brutally honest prosecution of this maddening, egomaniacal repeat offender. I guess his top level wasn't good enough. Troublemaker Ellen Here, Timothy Shamalama Ding dong looks like a hospital orderly. Indeed. From troublemaker Giovanna. What a beautiful name. There is a God. Timothy's callowness would only have him believe there was a gross injustice served to him. There is hope for the culture yet. Indeed. And if the Nerve is anything, we would like to think of it as a beacon to broaden and elevate the culture. From Troublemaker Eileen Oprah sabotaging your tech in the Oscars? I think so, Maureen. Finally. From troublemaker Elaine. I just listened to Friday's talk about movies with James from Corporate. I loved this. We're so happy we heard from a lot of you who love that chat. And I loved it too. And James has agreed to come back. Troublemaker Elaine says. More, more, more. James was great. I literally took notes. Your interview encourages me to ask a related question. Did you hear the Friday interview that that was recently conducted with screenwriter Roger Avery? I did not. But Roger Avery is Quentin Tarantino's longtime collaborator on screenplays. Roger spoke to somebody who we at the Nerve will not highlight. But I like Roger's work and so I want to read this part of the email. Roger talked about some of the very same things that James and I did. For example, they talked about how great Richard Linklater is totally undervalued in the culture and how Sinners is simply, according to Roger, a rehash of From Dusk Till Dawn. I hadn't realized it until he said it, and once you see it, you can't unsee it. Keep your feedback coming. Email me at maureenvilmaycare media.com or DM me on Instagram at Maureen Callahan, writer, or at the Nerve show. Remember to subscribe to the Nerves Substack. That is our weekly email. It shows up in your inbox every Friday. After the week's last full nerve. Go to thenerveshow.com you'll see a prompt. Would you like to get the nerve? Sub stack? Put your email in Voila. There you go shows up. It's got a note from me, it's got my recommendations from the week questions you've asked me about. It's all in there. Up next Next we are going to take apart a legendary op ed columnist's late stage career or what passes for it, and an op ed that she wrote about the most over romanticized couple of the moment and they happen to be dead at the hands of one half of them. Back in a minute. Do you second guess the nutrition, taste and sustainability of the seafood that you bring home? Introducing Wild Alaskan their seafood is 100% wild caught, never farmed. Which means no antibiotics, GMOs or additives. Just clean nutrient rich fish that supports healthy oceans and fishing communities. Wild Alaskan Company delivers perfectly portioned wild caught seafood straight to your door. The fish is frozen right off the boat to lock in flavor, texture and nutrients like omega 3s which are so good for you. Every order supports sustainable harvesting practices and their flexible membership includes expert tips and feel good seafood. My personal favorite? The wild sockeye salmon. 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[Kinsey Schofield]

Why do we rock for the hottest

[Maureen Callahan]

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[Guest or Interviewee]

Imagine relying on a dozen different software programs to run your business, none of which are connected and each one more expensive and more complicated than the last. It can be pretty stressful. Now imagine Odoo. Odoo has all the programs you'll ever need and are all connected on One platform. Doesn't Odoo sound amazing? Let Odoo harmonize your business with simple, efficient software that can handle everything for a fraction of the price. Sign up [e-mail] that's o d o o dot com.

[Maureen Callahan]

We are back. Now I read this over the weekend and I ripped it out and I was like, I've got to talk to the troublemakers about this. Maureen Dowd has been an op ed columnist for the New York Times for, I think far too long. I think of her as akin to Peggy Noonan over at the Wall Street Journal. Now Peggy Noonan is still capable of some really good columns, but more often than not, Maureen and Peggy, you read them and you think, you know, their first drafts, like, are on paper. Like there's something like spiritually, psychologically, just old about them. They haven't like moved with the Times nor do they care to. And I once told an editor of mine that reading Peggy Noonan, sometimes I would be like, I think her first drafts are just soaked in gin and tears. And it's the same with Maureen Dowd. She wrote this embarrass. I actually don't even think her editors give a shit anymore either. Or she just can't be edited. Like she won't take an edit because this piece is embarrassing. It's embarrassing. It's called the Lost Horizon of John and Carolyn. She's like, oh well, you know, Love Story's getting clicks and likes all over the place. It's Hulu's most watched show. Maybe I guess I should weigh in on it. Hey, JFK Jr. Called me once. I can hook it on that. You know, who cares? Who cares that JFK junior Called you once? Nobody. And I don't like the title because the Lost Horizon. It's a play on what was initially floated by the Kennedy loving media with the help of the Kennedys themselves. No doubt just my opinion, but no doubt that John just happened to have the misfortune to fly that night in, in Hayes, where he lost sight of the horizon line, where he could no longer differentiate between sky and ocean, between sky and sea. And that is why you have to be instrument rated to fly at night, which John was not. He was seen on that tarmac carrying a half opened half, an open, rather half consumed bottle of white wine. He was doubtless on painkillers for a bad bone break, an ankle, he had to have surgery on it. His cast had just come off that day. If you've ever been in a cast, you know what it's like when the cast comes off, like, you can't move. You can't move. Those. Those muscles, those ligaments and tendons, they're like. They're like concrete. You have to go through, like, months of physical therapy to regain maybe 80% of your former rotation or flexibility. Okay, there's that. There are the. I wrote about all of it and Ask not, which clearly Maureen has not read. And she really should avail herself, okay? She should get her head out of this cloud that JFK Jr. You know, in her dated, musty, fusty verbiage with some kind of dreamboat hunk. I mean, she basically writes about him like this in this embarrassing op ed. You know, Maureen, if he had offered you a flight, if he had said, hey, want to come up in the air with me? Would you have gone just because he was JFK fucking junior? Use what's left of your brain. Use what's left of your brain. Okay? So she writes. She opens her column by saying, he called me to. To request an interview with me. And I said, I don't think so because I write better than I talk. I mean, listen, barely, okay? Barely. She says that she was skeptical about his magazine, as everyone who worked in media and journalism at the very least was. I mean, if you worked in media and journalism and magazines and you know what it takes to put out a really good magazine. This is before the Internet. You have to be genius level, okay? And the guy. His magazine was a joke. Everybody in media knew it. Everybody in media knew his magazine was a joke. She writes here of her skepticism. I'm reading from her column. Was it too frivolous? With a glossy debut cover of Cindy Crawford cosplaying a word that did not exist back then. George Washington. It was stupid. It was stupid. You don't. I don't know what. Venn diagram gave JFK Jr. The notion that an undiscovered, untapped reader existed in the world between Cindy Crawford as a sex symbol and someone dressed up as our first president as an old man? I don't know. Okay, Maureen continues. Was it weird to have a cover with Drew Barrymore vamping as Marilyn Monroe, the paramour of JFK Jr. S father and uncle, as written about in ask not. JFK Jr. S father and his uncle Robert F. Kennedy were both. I'm just going to be crude here because they were crude. They were crude men who used and abused women, and possibly worse, they were both Marilyn Monroe at the same time. And this woman was so. She was so emotionally, psychologically fragile. They didn't care and there's plenty of. There's plenty. Okay. To Maureen's question, because I could go on forever. Yeah, Maureen. It's not only weird that JFK Jr first tried to get Madonna to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. And you know, Madonna had the good taste to say to JFK Jr. I'm not fucking doing that. That's disrespectful to your mother in some substance. That was one of Jackie's most painful public humiliations the night that Marilyn Monroe, in that tissue thin gown that was sewn on, took the stage at Madison Square Garden for what was JFK's ostensible birthday celebration, saying happy birthday to her. It was televised live. Marilyn's announcing to the world that she and the married President of the United States are having a very hot affair and is written about again and ask not before that. She was in the green room with Bobby and he was fucking her back there. I mean, they were shameless, these men. Yeah. It wasn't just weird, it was fucked up beyond all measure. JFK Jr had real rage toward his mother. And you know, anyone, anyone with like an iota of actual like feminism in them, a self respect for oneself as a woman would be like, that's really fucked up. And there's nothing this guy won't do. This guy wants to have it both ways. He wants to be a member of the media, but he wants to determine how it is that the rest of us in the media get to talk about his family. And if anybody's going to desecrate his family or exploit his family for fun and profit, it's going to be him. You know, what world are you in? Have some self respect. But she thinks it's a flex to be like, JFK Jr called me, he wanted me to do a Q A and George, you know, get out. She goes on to embarrass herself with this most obvious trickly graph. JFK Jr. Was the nation's magic child. Little John John saluting his father's casket in a gesture that broke the nation's heart. This is such bad writing. Okay? The editor in me would have just slashed this thing to ribbons. Broke the nation's heart. It's a cliche. Why does this paragraph exist? Are you saying anything that anyone over the age of 20 hasn't read and reread Immediately he became a stylish, adventurous man surfing New York City on bikes. You cannot surf New York City on a bike. You can ride a bicycle, you can surf the waves, but you can't do both. Maureen. It's a mixed fucking metaphor. What are we doing here? And on rollerblades, searching for his purpose in life. As discussed, the guy, he was a hot guy looking for a good time and he wanted to be taken seriously. Even though he was spoiled, entitled and had a death wish for the ages. A stylish, adventurous man. Has she read Christina Hogg's memoir about the number of times he almost got her violently killed? I mean, he succeeded with the Bessette sisters. I can't believe her editors let this go. I can't believe it. Miraculously, Maureen continues, despite all of his travails, he was a caring soul. Who tried to make people feel special. The guy who, according to the NTSB report, and I am telling you guys, we are getting into it as the as Love Story progresses, we have episodes eight and nine to go and it's. We all know the way this thing ends. The NTSB report. JFK Jr. Before killing himself, his wife and her sister in law extremely violently almost crashed into a packed American Airlines commercial jetliner that night. And he had turned off his comms. Air traffic control couldn't reach him. The pilots of that American Airlines flight, it's the black box recording is in the NTSB report. They're frantically talking to air traffic control saying this guy is coming at us and we can't reach him. And air traffic control says, yeah, he's not talking to anybody. He shut it off. But he was a caring soul who tried to make people feel special. If I feel special, you mean get. You get to get murdered by JFK midair in a violent collision that's wholly preventable because this up there. And it was, it was such a reckless like you want to take yourself out. It's like those people who commit suicide by jumping out of windows. Don't do something that could take somebody else with you. Okay? Maureen thought, she writes that he should use his very particular magic for more than persuading the likes of Salma Hayek to pose with an elephant or one could say, to persuade a hack like Maureen Dowd to sit for a Q and A. Maureen goes on to write that he was considering a bid for New York Governor when he died. We all know this, even though the Kennedy mythologists would have us believe that he loved Carolyn so much that there was no way he was going to pursue higher office and that he at least had the self awareness to know that he didn't have the intellect to be a governor, let alone President of the United States. And it's not so. I believe it's In Steve Gillen's book, America's Reluctant Prince, I believe I have the title right. Good book. I mean, he's a water carrier to an extent. But he does say that John had the temerity to say to a skeptical colleague, oh, you're really, you're gonna run for governor of New York like you've never held office before. Like, what do you know? And he goes, you know, I'm really more suited to an executive level job. You know, my father was president. Maureen continues. His grandfather Joseph Kennedy, a monster, by the way, is my side. Who among other things, lobotomized his beautiful young daughter Rosemary. Forcibly lobotomized her, leaving her with the mental and physical capacities of a two year old, because she was about to out him for sexually abusing her. As theorized with legitimacy and ask not, but Maureen writes that Joseph Kennedy turned the family into a powerhouse. Again, this is boilerplate, dusty, musty, textbook bullshit from the 1960s. Turn the family into a powerhouse with a clever formula. Alchemize great hair, great teeth. The Kennedys do not have great teeth. They have horsey teeth. They're very big, they're very prominent. They're not great teeth. An upper crust glamour. Hey, if you call Maureen raping women, leaving them paralyzed, threatening to drag their names and reput through the mud, leaving a young woman to die in three feet of water when she could have been saved, sexually savaging teenagers, raping babysitters, I mean, I could go on. This is an embarrassment. This is an embarrassment. The Camelot myth has tattered, Maureen writes. Not for the reasons you might think if you watch the nerve. No, no, no. Maureen says it's tattered because of, of the rise of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. As a destructive, unhealthy force in Trump world. Listen, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Is an absolute factor here, but I posit it's more for driving his very depressed, very emotionally unstable wife, Mary Richardson Kennedy, the mother of four of his children, to suicide. And her therapist talked to me at length for ask, not because she wanted to make sure that Mary's reputation was salvaged. And there were people who also spoke to me about Mary Richardson Kennedy. This is a, this is an interesting, this is something you guys should know as readers. Whether you're reading an article or an expose or a nonfiction book. Sometimes you'll get sources who are very valuable, very valuable. But they'll say, I, I want to be anonymous in the book. Like, don't name me in the book. But these very same sources sometimes will say in the back of the book where your citations are, you can name me. Because a serious reader or a future journalist slash historian is going to read the citations very carefully. And that's where they might find me. Because I want to be found. If another historian wants to come to me, I want to be found. I want the truth to be out there. You think Maureen Dowd is reading carefully through like, you know, gin soaked goggles? Just my opinion. I don't fucking think so. And then she cites that. She says that when it comes to the stunningly Sad death of JFK Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. Maureen Lauren Bessette also died very violently in that crash. And shame on you a for not even mentioning her. I guess she doesn't count because she wasn't famous because she didn't fuck. John. John. But she says stunningly sad death. JFK Jr. Caused that death. That is his fault. And again, as I theorize, and I do believe it was a murder suicide mission. The guy's life was falling apart and he had zero internal resources to deal with failure because he'd been coddled from birth by the likes of people like you who position yourself in the culture and the pages of the New York Times Magazine and as critical original thinkers who are going to help push us to see and understand things that we might not normally do. This is bullshit. This is fucking bullshit. The pair Maureen writes went from an unlimited horizon. This is where she thinks she's being clever. It's fourth grade level thinking. You're being clever. The pair went from an unlimited horizon to a false horizon when pilots get dangerously disoriented. All that promise. Quantify that promise, Maureen. Because those two were pretty shallow people. They were pretty shallow people who weren't doing very much with their lives. They were well into their 30s. All that promise. She writes like the Kennedy water carrier. She is literally vanished into thin air. Again, that is shitty writing, sloppy writing and incorrect writing. It didn't vanish into thin air. Those bodies were pulverized. When the time comes, we're going to shame everyone, including the likes of Maureen Dowd, who perpetuates this bullshit and romanticizes these wholly preventable deaths of young, beautiful women who had their entire lives ahead of them vanished into thin air. How about smashed into bits? A body was reportedly severed at the waist. It was rumored that one of the bodies was sucked out of the. Of the. Of the entire plane and never discovered. Are you fucking kidding me? Vanished into thin air? Fuck off. That does it.

[Kinsey Schofield]

It.

[Maureen Callahan]

That does it. For our Tuesday edition of the Nerve. Come back and see us tomorrow for the Nerve at Night. If you haven't already, check out our [e-mail] be sure to subscribe plus nerve merch grab something for yourself or pick something up for a fellow troublemaker@shop thenerve.com we will see you back here tomorrow at the Nerve, where you will never get Guess what we're about to say next.

[Guest or Interviewee]

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