Executive Dysfunction & Procrastination: Why Neurodivergent People Struggle With Deadlines

Summary

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The Neurodivergent Experience

Hosts: Jordan James & Simon Scott

Episode: Executive Dysfunction & Procrastination: Why Neurodivergent People Struggle With Deadlines

Date: May 27, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jordan and Simon dive into the lived experience of executive dysfunction and the unique challenges with procrastination and deadlines for neurodivergent people—especially those with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and related conditions. With raw honesty and camaraderie, they break down why procrastination is not "just laziness" but often rooted in anxiety, energy management, and the fear of failure. Through personal stories, relatable mishaps, and candid self-talk, they explore the emotional, social, and practical obstacles around getting things done in a world not built for their brains.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Procrastination, Deadlines, and Misunderstandings

[05:15 – 08:22]

• Shame, Judgment, and Imposter Syndrome:

  • Jordan shares the frustration of being constantly labeled “lazy” or “immature” due to procrastination, and the sting of being infantilized or judged for behaviors that are, in fact, out of his control.
    • “It means that people are constantly calling me lazy and always being judged for it and always having to explain it. And then I get the eye roll...’just using that as an excuse.’” (Jordan, 05:15)
  • Both describe the inner battle of holding onto self-esteem and not internalizing ableist rhetoric.

• Age, Interests, and Social Policing:

  • Anecdotes about being told they’re “too old” for hobbies like collecting stickers or cuddly toys, paralleling the immaturity assumptions levied at neurodivergent procrastination.

2. How Executive Dysfunction Shows Up

[08:22 – 14:18]

• Time Blindness & “The Deadline Switch”:

  • Simon narrates his experience where urgency only “switches on” close to a real deadline—he can have months to do something, but only when the deadline is immediate does focus arrive.
    • “My brain goes, you’ve got time, you’ve got time. We’ve got loads of time...” (Simon, 08:48)
  • Life doesn’t pause for tasks—juggling everything at once is overwhelming.

• Starting is Harder Than Doing:

  • Initiating tasks (making calls, filling forms) is drastically harder than completing them, due to anxiety, fear of errors, and the energy toll of getting details right.
    • “I find starting things harder than doing them... ringing them to just book it is the hardest part.” (Simon, 10:57)
    • “I know the amount of energy I put into tasks is such a huge amount... especially dyslexia, especially ADHD, I’m always constantly on alert that I’m going to fuck something up.” (Jordan, 11:06)
  • Overchecking and perfectionism as protective responses.

3. The Emotional Cost and Burnout Cycle

[14:18 – 17:50]

• Energy Crashes:
  • After pushing through deadlines at the last minute, the resulting crash (“brain fog, burnout, bore out”) makes recovery long, feeding the cycle of avoiding new tasks.
    • “It can be a bit addictive. Like adrenaline for me creates focus. But the energy that I lose afterwards is exhausting and it takes me a really long time to get it back.” (Simon, 15:31)
• Self-criticism & Imposter Syndrome:
  • Both struggle with harsh internal voices, feeling like “losers” if they’re not perfectly organized or productive.
    • “The really nasty little ableist voice in the back of my head goes, you’re such a loser. And it’s like, oh, it just kills me.” (Simon, 17:53)

4. Why It’s So Hard: Real-Life Example (Simon’s Wedding Panic)

[20:21 – 32:47]

• Forgetting, Last-Minute Scrambles, and Real-World Costs:
  • Simon shares a humorous but illustrative example: forgetting about a wedding until days before, scrambling to find a shirt, overbuying, and suffering the financial and emotional consequences.
    • “All of this has come around from just not connecting those Lego bricks of thoughts and putting myself in stress. All of that was just so self-fabricated about me just having time blindness and putting it off.” (Simon, 23:52)
• Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation:
  • Discuss how excitement determines preparedness—Simon would plan a beloved golf trip in detail, but not an “obligatory” wedding.
    • “You’re not prepared for this wedding because you don’t really want to go. See what, to see where I’m coming from?” (Jordan, 29:09–29:24)

5. Task Valence: Want vs. Have To

[32:47 – 36:25]

• Prioritizing Enjoyment:
  • They find that motivation and readiness are directly related to whether a task is wanted or imposed (choosing fun over obligation).
• Societal “Musts”:
  • Recognize that life includes plenty of unappealing but necessary tasks—and this is where executive dysfunction bites hardest.

6. Coping Strategies: What Helps (and What Doesn’t)

[36:25 – 47:02]

• Mindful Acceptance:
  • Jordan recounts times when pushing through procrastination prematurely backfired (gluing a car badge badly), illustrating why the impulse to “just do it” can go wrong when energy or readiness aren’t present.
    • “Sometimes procrastinating’s there for a reason... it’s just about finding that balance.” (Jordan, 39:23)
• Body Doubling:
  • Simon discusses body doubling—working with another present person (even silently) to create accountability, boost presence, and reduce time drift.
    • “Body doubling has really opened my eyes to ways of powering through executive dysfunction.” (Simon, 41:22)
• Small Steps & Momentum:
  • The “just start a tiny bit” approach: open the document, write a title, then do something else. This breaks paralysis and leverages initial momentum.
    • “Just do a step. If I’m trying to write an article... open Google Doc, write the title, and go take Nana for a walk... I can actually just sit down and do it.” (Simon, 45:03)

7. Validation, Self-Forgiveness, and Community

[46:56 – End]

• Being kind to oneself, understanding the neurological roots of these struggles, and connecting with community—themes of radical self-acceptance and finding shared experience.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being judged:

  • “It means that people are constantly calling me lazy and...using that as an excuse.” (Jordan, 05:15)

• On the “deadline switch”:

  • “Once a deadline feels real, that’s when the urgency switches on in the brain.” (Simon, 08:38)

• On perfectionism and energy cost:

  • “I’m reading over that form minimum 10 times...[like] a detective in a TV show for, for Prince. I am going through this for clues.” (Jordan, 13:10)

• On the crash after hyperfocus:

  • “I stay up until 2 in the morning making sure it’s absolutely perfect...And then I crash. My brain just goes, nope, brain fog, burnout, bore out, here we fucking go.” (Simon, 15:31)

• On motivation:

  • “Are you leaving everything to the last second? ...You’re so prepared for [golf] because you want to go subconsciously and consciously.” (Jordan, 28:41–29:24)

• On body doubling:

  • “I actually find I work better when [my partner] is at home...I don’t know whether it’s like accountability or...I feel more present.” (Simon, 41:22)

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Major Segments: Timestamps

• [02:22] – Podcast Theme & Introductions
• [05:15] – Procrastination: Social judgment & internalization
• [08:22] – Executive Function: Time blindness & deadline urgency
• [11:06] – Initiation Paralysis & Perfectionist Checking
• [14:18] – The Crash: Burnout after last-minute work
• [17:50] – Harsh Inner Critic & Self-Doubt
• [20:21] – Simon’s Wedding Story: Procrastination in Real Life
• [29:24] – Motivation: Want-to vs Have-to
• [36:55] – Coping/“Solutions”: Procrastination, Acceptance, Body Doubling
• [45:03] – Building Momentum with Tiny Steps
• [46:56] – Closing Thoughts: Validation, Community, Outro

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Tone & Takeaways

Warm, irreverent, and deeply validating, Jordan and Simon’s conversation is full of humor, camaraderie, and unflinching honesty about the invisible costs of executive dysfunction. They puncture myths of laziness, reveal how neurodivergent brains process (or don’t process) tasks, and gently reinforce that self-compassion is key. Community connection and sharing strategies—like body doubling and incremental starts—offer hope, but they bluntly admit there are no easy fixes. Above all: you are not alone.

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If you wrestle with deadlines or freeze at admin, this real-talk episode will leave you feeling seen and a bit less alone.

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Transcript

[Jordan James]

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[Simon Scott]

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[Simon Scott]

I'm Carter Sherman.

[Ashley Dupuy]

Welcome to Stateside with Kai and Carter. We're a new show from the Guardian.

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[Simon Scott]

Friday starting May 13 on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.

[Jordan James]

Welcome to the neurodivergent Experience Podcast, a podcast where we share the lived experiences of neurodivergent people to help create a better understanding for our community.

[Simon Scott]

Join us every week as we bring you honest, raw and inspiring conversations with specialists, advocates and individuals who know exactly what it's like to live the neurodivergent experience.

[Jordan James]

I'm Jordan James, a neurodivergent specialist, father of neurodivergent children, husband to a neurodivergent wife, and author of the Autistic Experience. And I'm joined by my best friend.

[Simon Scott]

I'm Simon Scott. I'm an autistic ADHD broadcaster, actor, and advocate. Join us as we journey into unraveling the neurodivergent experience.

[Jordan James]

Hello. Welcome back, everybody. Wow. I am still tired. I am still burnt out. I just. I haven't managed to regulate myself. So I said to Scotty, hi, Scotty.

[Simon Scott]

Hello.

[Jordan James]

This is your one. And I'm gonna take a bit of a backseat, which I don't know if that's gonna happen, because once I started talking, who knows? But at this moment in time, Scotty's had a wonderful, wonderful idea, and he has a lot to say about it. So, Scotty, take it away, my friend.

[Simon Scott]

Well, before I get into my good idea, do you want to hear something cool? I always want to hear something cool. My two special interests have combined to super special interest.

[Jordan James]

You look like you were doing weird scissors there. I was combining.

[Simon Scott]

That's in the. That's behind the paywall. But. But I. My favorite roller coaster in the world is rock and roller coaster, and they've just had a rebrand to the Muppets, and I can't stop looking at the reels. Hollywood Studios in Disney World, they've rebranded Rock and roller coaster to be the Electric Mayhem Band from the Muppets. They've changed all of it. And. But, like, the song list is, like Blur, Foo Fighters, My Chemical Romance, and I'm just like, God damn it, I. Will I pay thousands of pounds just to go and get some Muppets merch from Disney World?

[Jordan James]

No.

[Simon Scott]

So, anyway, that's a bit of a tangent, but, yeah, that's just something that's been rocking and rolling in my brain this morning.

[Jordan James]

Definitely last on my list of things I expected Scotty to say.

[Simon Scott]

I know, but that's a bit of fun. But anyway, what we're talking about today is navigating deadlines as a neurodivergent person and the curse of procrastination. Before I reveal as to why I'm discussing this today, dude, what. What does procrastination and deadlines mean to you? Is it a curse?

[Jordan James]

It means that people are constantly calling me lazy and always being judged for it and always having to explain it. And then I get the. The eye roll of. Oh, yeah. Just using that as an excuse.

[Simon Scott]

Yes.

[Jordan James]

And then there's me holding back, wanting to scrape someone's face across a pavement.

[Simon Scott]

Yes. It's difficult, isn't it, when That I have to hold.

[Jordan James]

Hold into my circle of control and be like I can't. I can't do this. But now I don't miss the rage. It's, it's. Do you know the worst thing about it? It always, when I get judged for it, it always makes me second guess myself. It's like anything. So somebody was a freaking ass a couple of weeks ago and I was doing something and they called me immature. Oh, stinger, thank you. Because everyone I've talked to about this, even non neurodivergent people went, yeah, that's well out of order. But then one of my neurodivergent friends went, but you are immature. And I was so, I was like, that's helpful. You are almost ex friend. And oh, and I showed him a picture of a cuddly toy that I had. He went, oh, you're not doing much to stop that. Dispel the immature thing.

[Simon Scott]

That's how. That's again, helpful. No, I totally get that. I mean I had it only today I went into Marks and Spencer's other food places are available and went in there just to buy a couple of lunchy bits. And the woman behind the counter was like, would you like some England stickers? Because they're free. They're like World cup stickers. I was like, abso fucking lutely. I do. I would love some stickers. And she went, oh yeah, yeah, my husband wanted all of these and I think he's a bit too old for stickers. And I turned to the lady and I said, if you didn't know what year you were born, how old would you think you are? And I went, you're any age at all time. Just enjoy the stickers. It's not that deep. And she went, yeah, I guess. But to me, I was like, just, just let him have the stickers. It's not, it's not that big of a deal.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, I keep, I keep hearing this, oh, too old for that or you know, stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, I, I think that the, the idea that procrastination is, is immature. Like, like, you know, people being in. People infantilizing me just because I find things really, really difficult to take seriously. And I think if, if it was just like work stuff, then it's not like I could see their point. But I, I would sort of be more forgiving of people in that position who don't understand the way that I operate. But it, it's everything, like just life in general just becomes a procrastination. And I don't know, it, it, it's very, very frustrating. Very, very Hard to navigate?

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, it is incredibly hard to navigate. And I'm in a very fortunate position that I speak to a lot of neurodivergent people. I think I speak to pretty much only neurodivergent people these days. And one of the common themes that I've heard and discussed with people around this is that once a deadline feels real, that's when the urgency switches on in the brain, right? So if somebody said to me, you have 90 working days to send us a reply so that you can get some money back, whether that's like claiming insurance or anything, why is it that my brain will only allow me to do it once? I've got a week, and it might take two weeks to get responses and things back and everything, but my brain goes, you've got time, You've got time. We've got loads of time, all the time in the world. And I can understand from the outside how that can look like bad organization or laziness or not treating things seriously, but in reality, it's anxiety. It's the fear of failure. It's a fear of not being perfect at something, and it's because actually dealing with it is overwhelming in the moment, in the. One of the most difficult things that I navigate as a neurodivergent adult is life doesn't wait for you. It keeps on ticking. So, like, if I have to deal with something and I've got a week to deal with it, it's not like absolutely everything else in my life, I can just go, right, just put that on pause while I go and deal with all of this. It's, you know, I still need to put food in the fridge. I still need to get my work done. I've still got to turn up to the. Like, I can't just pause my life to focus on something. And my brain will naturally categorize things into importance. It goes, oh, you've got 90 days to do that, Simon. We'll put it on the back burner and then new things will come in, put it on the back burner. And then suddenly there's a week to go and all the alarm bells kick off and my brain goes, we've got to do it. We've got to do it now. And then everything around it falls apart because I've left it all to the last minute and it just becomes like an overwhelming mess. And a lot of it can be time blindness. But the thing that I've acknowledged about myself, and I'm intrigued what you think, dude, I find starting things harder than Doing them, like if I have to phone up an insurance company or ring a doctor's appointment or anything like that, like I can turn up to the doctors on time, I can do the appointment and, and deal with it. But actually ringing them to just book it is the hardest part.

[Jordan James]

I mean, yeah, it's, I find with me, it's the only way that I can explain it in my own head of why I just keep putting things off. Keep putting, I keep putting things off is because I know the amount of energy that I put into tasks is such a huge amount of energy because I, I'm disabled. So I, because of those disabilities, especially dyslexia, especially adhd, I, I'm always constantly on alert that I'm going to fuck something up.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And, and of course then, then it just builds up that anxiety and self doubt and self hatred because if I do fuck up, that that's another cost to me, that that's an extra cost of, of just hating on myself. And then I've got to worry, oh, especially if it's at work is, you know, is my boss going to like get annoyed at me? If people, my colleagues going to get annoyed at me? Because I'm already going to be annoyed at myself if I fuck up. So I'm, I'm scared. I openly admit I'm scared that I'm going to fuck up. I, I have very little confidence when it comes to things like admin, just admin in general.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And I know that I'm good at it. Like you said, once you're doing it. But I have to. So somebody will like fill in a form and they might read over it once and they'll be like, no, no, that's fine. I'm reading over that form minimum 10 times. And that, that's not. I wish, oh listeners, I wish that was an exaggeration. It's not. I'm looking over that thing 10 times. I'm examining it like a freaking detective in a TV show for, for Prince. I am going through this for clues of. And do you know what? Literally, literally yesterday I'm at work, I've got my form that I've got to fill in and send off, you know, a roundup of the, the day's events and I send that off to management at the end of the day and I look through it and I look through it and I look through it and I look through it and I was like, yep, it's done. Then I attached it to the email, was about to press send and I went, I'm gonna look at it one more time. I'm gonna look, open it up. And I, and I saw one, one of the times that I was, I was doing something didn't match the time that I'd written down and I was like, how, how have I not seen that? I mean it, it's, I put a 1 instead of a 4 in the whole thing. That's the mistake I made. But I, and, but now I'm going, well, that's the thing. I have to keep checking these things over and over and over and over and over again. And I'm so tired.

[Simon Scott]

But, but to add into that as well, right, it's the, the stress of then getting it done. So like yesterday I was sending out loads of emails to people and it was the same email with a couple of details that were changed. And I've, I've built a system where I have my template and I'm going into it, editing it, putting it in the email, checking everything, hitting send. And I got into a really fast rhythm of it where I was like, put that there, do that bump. Put that there, do that bump. And then what did I start doing? Dude, I stopped, I stopped checking the names of the people I was sending it to and I sent like two or three emails with the wrong person's name on. And it's just like that's, that's really frustrating. But then at the same time I'm now going, fuck the people on the other end of that email. Just gonna be like, who's this idiot? And the self doubt creeps in and then the perception kicks in and it's just like, oh, this cycle is a lot. And don't get me wrong, like last minute pressure, like coming from a theater background where you have the date and you go on whether you're ready or not. And it's that pressure of being correct and knowing everything. It can be a bit addictive. Like adrenaline for me creates focus. But the energy that I lose afterwards is exhausting and it takes me a really long time to get it back. And I feel like I just get in this cycle of put it off, avoid panic, freak the out, hyper focus, hyper focus. Stay up until 2 in the morning making sure it's absolutely perfect and done and checking it again and checking it again and checking it again. I finally finish it and then I crash. I crash. Like my brain just goes, nope, brain fog, burnout, bore out, here we fucking go. But then it's not like all my deadlines don't exist. Once that happens, I then get myself in a state of low energy and I've got more, I've still got stuff to do. And then I'm putting that off and it's just like this never ending cycle of just juggling energy and deadlines. And if it's not fun, my brain won't let me do it. Like, you know, if I'm trying to write a really important email to somebody, I'm not, I'm not loving it. It's not like it excites me or it's fun. It's. It's really boring adult shit. And it's just like, come on, brain, this is, this, this should be easy. And then that's the internalized ableism kicking in of just beating myself up. Because what should be easy is actually really hard.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, it's, it's the, the energy cost. I, I think at least, at least I'm aware of it. So, I mean, you know, we're in that position where at least we know what's going on. Whereas I think before my diagnosis I was just confused all the time as to why I was feeling like this. And then I was even harder on myself. I was like, oh, I'm such a useless piece of crap. And it's like I'm, I'm hard on myself now, but at least I'm sort of more realistic about it. You know, I'm just like, well, you know, I'll say to myself, oh, you idiot, why did you do that? And then I'll stop and go, oh, well, you're not an idiot. You're not crap at your job. Yeah, so I'm just very aware of the issues that I have and the disabilities that I have, so I can at least forgive myself. But my initial reaction, which is again like a, such a, an energy cost, is to just lambast myself.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, it's hard. Like I've, you know, we'll go to a break in a sec. But the one for me that hurts the most and I feel my brain do it and as soon as it creeps and I'm like, oh, you, I hate that you've just done that to yourself, is I call myself a loser. That's the one that sucks. Is like when I'm doing something and I'm, I'm good at what I do, but then I feel like I'm not organized. And then like the imposter syndrome kicks in. The really nasty little ableist voice in the back of my head goes, you're such a loser. And it's like, oh, it just kills me. It kills me. It kills me. And then I get through the deadline and I hand it in and I'm fine. But then I'm so tired. Like it can genuinely take me an hour to write an email sometimes. It really is draining. But anyway, we'll take a little bit of a break and when we come back, I'm gonna share with you the reason as to why I wanted to do this episode. Because it's. It's quite a funny story. So we will be right back after this short message.

[Jordan James]

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[Simon Scott]

hi, I'm Sophie James, a

[Jordan James]

neurodivergent mentor with four years of experience supporting neurodivergent individuals.

[Simon Scott]

As an autistic and ADHD woman myself,

[Jordan James]

I know firsthand what it's like growing up in a neurotypical world and trying to navigate spaces that weren't built with our brains and mind. Whether you're neurodivergent yourself or supporting a neurodivergent child or teen, I offer experienced

[Simon Scott]

ed peer mentoring grounded in understanding, connection and neuro affirming support. Together we explore strengths, build confidence, and develop practical ways to navigate life while embracing who you are. If you'd like to learn more about

[Jordan James]

my mentoring work, visit sophiejamesndmentoring.com.

[Simon Scott]

Welcome back to the Neurodivergent Experience right here on the Autistic Culture Podcast Network. We have been discussing discussing procrastination and working to deadline something that I know a lot of neurodivergent people navigate because Jordan and I definitely do. But there's a reason as to why I wanted to do this episode. Dude, do you remember when I went on that stag do a couple of months ago?

[Jordan James]

You might have mentioned it once or twice.

[Simon Scott]

Yes, I mentioned it once or twice, but it.

[Jordan James]

But that was a neurodivergent experience.

[Simon Scott]

That wasn't. Yeah, it was a neurodivergent experience. But off the back of that, obviously there's a wedding because that's what happens after stag do's, right?

[Jordan James]

Do you know what you told me you're Going to a wedding. You've told me you went to a stag do. And there's no part, my brain that connected those two things at all. I don't. I don't know why. Yeah, just saying.

[Simon Scott]

Preaching to the choir.

[Jordan James]

Just said it then. And you literally click those Lego pieces into place. I was like, oh, oh, they go together. I absolutely. I don't know.

[Simon Scott]

Wow. Yeah.

[Jordan James]

In my brain, stag do is like, let's go and ride a stag.

[Simon Scott]

I guess, you know, we need to change it, don't they? Like a bachelor. Bachelor party. Let's ride the bachelor. I don't know. Whatever you're into. But essentially that's what my brain did. It was like, went on a stag do. Oh, yeah. There's a wedding that follows this. And I've known about it for over a year. I've had the invite for ages. And then Carrie said to me the other day, she went, it's that wedding this weekend. Oh, yeah, there's a wedding, isn't there? Because that's normally what happens after a stag do. There's a wedding. Because that's the whole point. And she went, is there a dress code? And my brain just went, oh, here we go. This was on Monday, right. We leave for the wedding on Friday. Because of course it's a three hour drive away, which I completely forgot about, which means that we've got to book a hotel the night before. And this was on Monday. I leave on Friday. Got all of my clothes out. Do I have a shirt that fits me since I've gone to the gym? No. No, I don't. Did I have enough time to go into town and go into the shops when I've got all of these work deadlines with the huge network launch that's coming in June? No, no, I don't. Did I freak the fuck out and go and buy a load of shirts? Yes, Yes, I did. And to even add to that, dude, I was going, how am I gonna go into town? There's a. There's nothing. I'm not gonna have time. Like, I'm gonna have to have like a half hour drive into town to, like go to the shops because I want. I don't. I don't want to just turn up in. In a naff shirt. So put that aside. Freaked out. Went into Tesco, which for American listeners is a supermarket. I don't know what I'd compare it to. Walmart. Yep. So I went into like a Walmart sort of shop and I looked at the shirts there Wasn't a fitting room so I couldn't try anything on. And I went, we'll just buy two of that one in that size. Did I forget my receipt? Yes, yes I did. Which was the whole point of buying two. You return the one you don't want. I got home, dude, I tried on the shirt. It fit me. Was the material scratchy as and awful to wear? Absolutely. It was. So now I've got two shirts that I'm like, I haven't got a receipt for. Can I go and return? I only want to spend 20 pound on a shirt. I've ended up spending 50 pounds on three shirts and I can only wear one of them. And all of this has come around from just not connecting those Lego bricks of thoughts and putting myself in stress. All of that was just so self fabricated about me just having time blindness and putting it off. I laugh about it because it is silly. It is, you know, it's kind of ridiculous, but at the same time it's actually been really stressful and I just feel like so not dumb, but I just kind of feel silly. I'm just like, oh, Simon. Like I just, I. It's almost like embarrassing. Is it? Where you're just like, of course there's a wedding. Of course I'm going to need a nice shirt. I've got a tie and I've got shoes and I've got a suit. Absolutely fine. Oh yeah, yeah, I want to go. I want to go.

[Jordan James]

Okay, you want to go.

[Simon Scott]

But, but you know what I mean? Like at no point did my brain go, h, Simon, you've got a wedding on that day. It's in that calendar. And it's in that calendar. Maybe check the invite. Is there a dress code? What time do we have to be there? Oh, it's a three hour drive and it starts at 11, which means we'd have to leave at 8. But then Caris has three hours of makeup in there.

[Jordan James]

So I'm just like, I'm out.

[Simon Scott]

But you know what I mean? Why, why didn't my brain just do

[Jordan James]

this properly at this point? I'm like, oh, I was dead at the time. That, that, that is. They turned me into a newt. But don't worry, I got better. But I'm, I'm in recovery. I'm making, I'm doing that neurotypical talking. I'm. Because I, you know, I end up doing that because a lot of people just don't understand. I'm like, I, I just can't do this. I just can't do this. But if, if you're still going, you're still going, you know, kudos to you. But there, I. I don't know, maybe because I'm just so much older. I'm just like, you know what? I've. I just. I haven't got time for this. I don't care enough. I just don't care enough. I mean, I'm not really big on weddings anyway, so I just. I don't know, I'd be like, nah, I'm good.

[Simon Scott]

But there's. But there's so much that could. For me, it's like the consequence of that. It's like I've known about it for a year. But you're.

[Jordan James]

You're the one paying, aren't you? You've got to pay for the fuel to get there. You've got to pay for the hotel.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, but it's. But that's.

[Jordan James]

You've got 20 or 75 different shirts that you're buying. You are. See, you've got a, an actual cost, then you've got the emotional cost and, and, you know, the, the energy cost.

[Simon Scott]

But then if I don't go, it's the social cost and I'm good.

[Jordan James]

You know what I mean? That I'm. I'm that person that I don't know. Like I said, I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I'm just looking. I'm just looking at all the costs. So it's like a pros and cons thing is, is it really worth all of this cost to go to a wedding that's gonna last like a couple of hours and they'll barely even know you're there. It's not like you're the best man or you're doing speech.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, get the logic.

[Jordan James]

You are in the background. You aren't gonna be in any pictures. No one really cares that you're there. I care because I love you. But they don't. No one, no one cares about you except me. I'm the only one. This isn't abusive at all. I'm the only one. Everyone else is pretending.

[Simon Scott]

Wow. This took a fucking turn. Jesus. But can you see, right, how if I hadn't left everything to the last minute and my brain hadn't just completely just put it in a drawer in the back and suddenly it was like, ta da. There's a thing that you had prepared a lot of what you're saying wouldn't

[Jordan James]

really stress me out, but your brain did that. And I think it did that because you don't really want to go.

[Simon Scott]

I do want to go. It's just all the stresses of.

[Jordan James]

I'm saying. You don't.

[Simon Scott]

Right. If he was down the road and I could walk and just be like, hello and pop my head in. Yeah, great. But it's just how my brain just was like, I. I knew that it was miles away.

[Jordan James]

I knew when it was excited about something. You've booked yourself a holiday, right? You're going on a holiday. You're gonna go on a golfing holiday. It's you and your dad. You're gonna go to St. Andrews and you're gonna do a golfing holiday.

[Simon Scott]

Okay?

[Jordan James]

Are you leaving everything to the last second? You're not.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm starting with clothes.

[Jordan James]

So prepared. Because you want to go subconsciously and consciously you cannot wait for that trip to do St. Andrews with your dad. And, you know, maybe like. And you've heard Rory Mackerel is going to be there and he's going to sign your balls. Yeah. All of your balls.

[Simon Scott]

This is. This is really. This has been a. This has been a few weird anecdotes in this one, too.

[Jordan James]

Golf balls.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, of course.

[Jordan James]

Any balls, really. Okay, I'll give you some basketballs. Right. But anyway, you are prepared. You're not prepared for this wedding because you don't really want to go see what, to see where I'm coming from?

[Simon Scott]

No. No. But that sort of adds to it of being like, I'm excited to do the work that I'm doing because I like my job, but would I rather just sit and play video games and take my dog for a walk?

[Jordan James]

Exactly. You're going to this wedding because you don't want to let people. That somehow you've built up in your head that if you don't go, people are going to be upset with you. Maybe Carys does want to go. Like, you want to go to St. Andrews. Maybe Carys wants to go to this wedding and you don't want to let her down. Maybe she's excited about it. I don't know. But there's a reason you're pushing yourself, but inside you're putting things off because you. They don't. It doesn't really excite you. It's not something that you would choose to do if it hadn't been put on you. That. That's my thinking.

[Simon Scott]

That's an interesting one, because there is a lot in. Like, we'll give an example, right? If I've got a work meeting at 9am I will, I will, I will. Drag out getting out of bed and getting in the shower and getting ready for it. But if I have a tea time to play golf at 9am I'm probably at the course by quarter past seven. Like, I will get up.

[Jordan James]

Literally. It's the things you have to do versus the things that you choose to do. So what I'm saying is this wedding feels like something you have to do. I'm not saying that you're not going to enjoy it. I'm not saying it's going to be terrible. I mean, it probably won't be. You'll probably have a blast. But it's, it's the equivalent of me going, okay, I'm. I can, you know, watch some basketball, play some video games and, and go for a nice walk. Or I have to go to town, I need to go shopping, and then I have to go to the gym. And I. Out of those two scenarios, I'm going former. Like, if I have to make a choice and I, like, you know, in town, I can go get a coffee and I can buy some nice things. And it's not like I hate it and I don't hate the gym. Once I'm in the gym, I'm enjoying it. I'm doing my exercises and I'm like, oh, I. Why did I not want to come here? Why was it so hard to get to the gym? Once I'm in the gym, I'm really enjoying it. But when it comes to, you know, the, the former, like just sitting down, playing video games, or like I said, going for a walk, it's a lot easier. It just is. It's like my brain will prioritize the things that I want to do, and therefore I won't procrastinate over those things as much.

[Simon Scott]

But that is very disabling, isn't it? Oh, because there's so much in life that you don't, you don't really want to do. I don't like going to the dentist. I kind of have to go, you

[Jordan James]

know, like, there's a dentist. I don't know this word.

[Simon Scott]

The teeth.

[Jordan James]

My wife is literal dental nurse. I don't want to go, but you

[Simon Scott]

know what I mean? Like, there is a lot in life that you don't like doing. And the brain's just like, yeah, we don't do that. And even though I am looking forward to this wedding, I'm excited for my friend and I know that I will have a good time. There are multiple things in the way that are making me just go,

[Jordan James]

is it worth it? Exactly.

[Simon Scott]

And that's the tough thing though. But sometimes you, you can't do that. You can't just go, oh, is it worth it?

[Jordan James]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Simon Scott]

You know what I mean?

[Jordan James]

I don't know. I think the only thing, the only thing that I feel like I have to do sometimes is that, you know, that I don't want to do is I got to go to work. I mean, if, if I didn't have to, if I won the lottery tomorrow, I would have a different vocation. I would still want to work, but I would, I would do something different. But the job I do is because I have to pay my bills, I have to pay my mortgage, I have to, you know, provide. So I have to go to work, you know, once I'm there. Is it fine? Yeah, it's fine. But do I want to fuck? No. God, no one wants to give me like a million pound, you know, just. Just a random stranger who finds me attractive, then that's fine. I'll take it.

[Simon Scott]

Careful, you get into with that. Anyway, let's take a little break and off the back of this, maybe we've got some, some tips and tricks to share. Figuring out, powering through things that you may do or not want to do. We'll be right back.

[Jordan James]

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[Simon Scott]

subject to credit approval.

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[Ashley Dupuy]

Hi everyone, it's Ashley Dupuy here, the in house therapist on the neurodivergent experience and host of Mindful Mondays. And if you've been listening to these podcasts and thinking, gosh, I'd love to explore this work more deeply, I'd love to let you know about what's coming next. This September, I'll be opening a small group coaching cohort, a gentle, supportive space to explore the kind of work we've been doing here together. So if you've been resonating with the From Mask to Map series or with the deeper themes we've been exploring on Mindful Mondays, this will be a chance to take that work further in community with guidance, reflection and practical tools to help you understand yourself more clearly and move through life with more ease. So if that speaks to something in you, I'd love to hear from you. You can register your interests by emailing [e-mail] and you can also keep an eye out on integrativeiom.co.uk where I'll be sharing more details over the coming weeks.

[Simon Scott]

Welcome back to the NEREID of Divergent Experience. We've been discussing deadlines and procrastination and essentially this is just executive dysfunction right here, isn't it? And navigating through that. Well, Jordan, you were saying in the, the last section you're like, maybe just don't go. And that's obviously a really great way of fixing this, but what other things do you do that help you navigate through like, you know, stopping yourself procrastinating or battling executive dysfunction?

[Jordan James]

Oh God, if I haven't figured that out.

[Simon Scott]

Oh yeah, well, fair enough.

[Jordan James]

Jesus. Some. So it's about priorities, isn't it? And not, not pushing myself over the edge and forcing myself to do things. Because I put it this way, a couple of weeks ago, a badge on, on my new car, the, one of the, the badges was, was slightly loose and I was like, oh, you know, I'll get some glue and I'll fix that and I'll fix that and I'll fix that, I'll fix that. And then the glue came and I went straight out and started gluing it. And because I was like, I'm not going to procrastinate over this, you know, But I was tired, I hadn't thought it through. I forgot I'm terrible at gluing things. I'm, I'm Terrible, Sylvia. Really, really good. I am dyspraxic as I could possibly be in those moments. And I put too much glue, push the badge down, all the glue squirt out. Super glue that is now ruined slightly ruined the paint job of my very, very lovely car and has. And I spent 50 quid trying to fix it, right? The glue was like three quid. And I spent 50 quid trying to fix it. I've ended up because the glue got on the badge and I tried to scrape that off, scratch the badge. Oh. Had to buy a new badge, which I've now got to put on. But I'm like, I'm. I'm procrastinating over that because I don't want to ruin that because that cost me, like, 20 quid just for this. It's not even a new badge. It's like a cover that goes over the other badge, just sits on the top of it and. Oh, this. It's a whole thing. I tried getting this. Now I know that I'm gonna have to take it to, you know, a mechanic or body shop where they will have to sand down it and then polish it up and fix it, which would cost me hundreds of pounds, all because I was like, I'm not going to procrastinate. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna show that I'm. I'm. I'm good. And I'm. I've got my man.

[Simon Scott]

Man.

[Jordan James]

Yep. I wanted to prove to myself, yeah, I wasn't gonna wait around, you know, I'd waited around so long to buy the glue that when the glue came, I was like, I'm gonna go straight out. And I came back in and I was like, baby, baby, baby, it's gone everywhere. And she went, what did you do?

[Simon Scott]

I went.

[Jordan James]

I went to put the glue. She was like, why? You know, you're crap at that. And I was like, I just wanted to not procrastinate. I wanted to prove to. So sometimes procrastinating there for a reason is because you don't, you know, that you don't have the energy to deal with it. And. And, like, in those moments, you're just like, oh, great. Like, I should have waited. It's just about finding that balance. But, yeah, for. For every mistake, it's another procrastination for the future.

[Simon Scott]

And, yeah, it's just moving it along, isn't it? But, like, do you find any external structure makes a difference for you? Because, like, one of the things that I have read about a lot and have only really put into practice recently is body doubling. Is this something that you've done a lot of where you're not even necessarily working on something together, but just having somebody in the room with you as you're doing something just helps you not drift. Because I've experienced it recently with people that I speak to regularly on the network that are working on podcasts and things like that. And executive dysfunction has been something that has affected a lot of people. Understandably, we're all neurodivergent and people jumping on zoom together and just working. Not even necessarily speaking like you and I are through a screen. But just being with other people has actually really helped a lot of them push through. And it's something that I've started doing when Caris is at home. There are times where I will be in the house on my own while she's at work and I will get in a. Not in a. In a. Tears. But I'm aware that I'm like, I want to finish my work so that when Carrie is home we can spend time together. But I actually find I work better when she's at home so that I can sit on my computer and do work and she'll just be sat opposite me either on her laptop or watching TV or something. And I actually find it easier to work when there's somebody there. It's not like. I don't know whether it's like accountability or, you know, I'm. I'm with somebody so I feel more present and I'm not having as much time blindness. But body doubling has really opened my eyes to ways of powering through executive dysfunction. And I've seen it in other people as well. So that's something that I've experienced. I mean, you must have that at work when you're doing like admin and somebody's sat with. Sat next to you or with you, and you can just. You find that work.

[Jordan James]

So, I mean, I've never been in a situation where I haven't had anyone. I mean, I'm. I've always had someone with me in a work environment. I've always had a team around me. But how I, how I can relate to that is things just going and doing photography. You know, I, I do love being on my own. I prefer being on my own doing photography, unless it's with. With. With my best mate, Rick. We're like a photography team. But I, I have to admit there, there is that part of me that, that's always like, oh, do, do you wanna. Do you wanna come with Me to someone, like, do you wanna come with me? Because even though if we. If we were both doing photography, let's say it's me and Sophie and we're both doing photography, we're not really communicating, we're not talking to each other, but we're just present in the same place, then, yeah, I do feel better having someone around. Like, even if it's going to the gym, like, Sylvia and I do completely different workouts. We don't actually even talk when we're in the gym. We're not even in the same part of the gym, but we're both in the gym. And somehow that gets me. Knowing that she's there gets me there. And sometimes I'll say that I don't want to go. And she's like, oh, I definitely want to go. She'll come home. And I was like, no, no, I don't want to go tonight. And then she won't. And she just won't go because I didn't go. I don't know if that's just the fact that we're obsessed with each other. I don't know.

[Simon Scott]

No, I experienced that because, like, if there's, like, a movie that I want to go and see at the cinema, and then Kara says, oh, I'm not bothered about going. I won't go on my own. But then I like going to the cinema on my own. So sometimes I almost feel like I shouldn't ask people to do things with me. I should just have the, you know, just go and do it myself. But then there's that thing of executive dysfunction, because I agree with you. It's like, I love going to the gym. And when Karis and I go to the gym, we actually work out together, and I really enjoy it. We have a lot of laughs and we have a lot of fun while we do it. But there are times when I go on the gym on my own, and I'll be there for, like, 40 minutes, and I'll go, hmm, have I done enough? Have I not done enough? Do I want to go? Do I not want to go? And I find when I've got somebody with me, I do pass that over a bit. I'll say to Carrie, so, you finished? You want to go? And if she says, yeah, I'm very comfortable leaving, but then there are times where we'll have only been there half an hour. And she'll go, oh, I've. I've. I've done what I wanted to do today. And then my brain will be like, oh, I Kind of wanted to do something else and something else and, and then I fight not wanting to leave. But yeah, it's, it can be a bit of a bugger. And it's the shame thing as well. Like that's the thing that I feel like I've really tried to work on like that self criticism because that definitely makes it worse. And something that I can relate to with that is like, I'll wake up in the morning, I'll drag my feet and then I'll just as I'm about to start work, I'll go, oh, I need to take Nana for a walk. But then I'm like, oh, but it'll take half an hour and I've already wasted time in this and that. And then I just like getting stasis and I don't move. And one of the best bits of advice I can give to anybody that's listening to this is just do a step. Like if I'm trying to write an article for work, the and then I start going, oh, but I need to take Nana out and I've got time the washing up and like suddenly all the tasks I need to do appear and I get in stas a paralysis by analysis. One of the best things that I found for me is going, all right, open Google Doc where you would write the article, write the title and go and take Nana for a walk. And I find when I get back I can actually just sit down and do it because I've almost done two tasks, I've started one and I've completed another. And the satisfaction of taking Nana for a walk and knowing I've done it off my to do list gives me momentum to, to actually start the thing. But I've already done the hard part. I've opened the document, I've written the title down and then I've gone away and giving myself spoons by actually doing something I want to do and enjoy and then sort of coming back. I know that that's not applicable for everybody, but in my working life that's something that I found super, super helpful of. Start a little bit, go and do something that you have to do or want to do and then come back and try and use the momentum of the other thing to, to kick start your your energy into focus.

[Jordan James]

No, no, I, I, I agree. I love you.

[Simon Scott]

Okay. It's all right. I can hear you're running out of puff, my dude. I know you've not had a lot of sleep, work's been, been crazy for you. But yeah, that's just been sort of our discussion on procrastination and putting deadlines off. I'm intrigued. I would love to know how you guys battle this. Hit us in the comments on Spotify or get in touch with us in our social links below. This has been your neurodivergent experience for this week. You've got a hot topic coming tomorrow and it's going to be interesting discussion around blue badges, so check out that in your feed. Bye everybody. Take care of yourself. Be kind nightly.

[Jordan James]

Bye.

[Simon Scott]

Thanks for tuning in to the neurodivergent Experience. We hope today's episode sparked something for you. Whether it's a new idea, a bit of validation, or just a moment of connection, remember new episodes are every week, so be sure to join us for the next one for more conversations and insights into the Neurodivergent experience. If you've enjoyed this podcast, help us grow. You can do that by rating and reviewing this show. Your support makes a huge difference in helping us reach more people who could benefit from these conversations. You can connect with us on social media, find us on Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok. Just search for the neurodivergent experience. Thank you again for listening and until next time, take care of yourself. You're not alone in this journey.

[Jordan James]

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[Ashley Dupuy]

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