Neurodivergent Reddit Stories: Empathy, Addiction & Emotional Meltdowns

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: Neurodivergent Reddit Stories: Empathy, Addiction & Emotional Meltdowns

Hosts: Jordan James & Simon Scott
Guest: Sophie James
Date: April 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Jordan, Simon, and guest Sophie dive into the world of Reddit, discussing three real neurodivergent stories pulled from the platform. The trio explores themes of empathy (and its absence), addiction and self-medication, and the emotional volatility often present in neurodivergent lives. Using a blend of humor, personal anecdote, and open conversation, they break down each story, drawing connections to their own lived experiences and offering commentary and validation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Neurodivergence and Empathy (Reddit Story #1)

[06:01–19:39]

Story Summary

A nanny for neurodivergent children, who is herself autistic/ADHD, describes how her wealthy, neurodivergent clients seem to lack empathy, treat their children like pets, and behave in self-serving or unethical ways. She struggles with shame and not wanting to be associated with these negative examples of her neurotype.

Hosts' & Sophie's Insights

• Business Detachment & Empathy:

  • Simon: "If you want to be successful at business, you have to be a bit of a shit." [11:24]
  • Jordan: "This lack of empathy or lack of showing of empathy isn't exclusive to billionaire assholes… being a narcissist is a type of neurodivergence." [10:07]

• Context, Upbringing, and Hyperfocus:

  • Sophie: "When we get hyperfocused on something… we become very unaware of how that makes other people around us feel." [12:49]
  • Hyperfocus can lead to emotionally detached behaviors, especially if the focus is on business or personal gain.

• Empathy as Learnable:

  • Sophie: "Empathetic understanding is something that we can naturally be… but it’s also something that everyone can learn." [16:25]
  • Environment impacts whether empathy is expressed, regardless of neurotype.

• Psychopathy vs. Neurodivergence:

  • Simon discusses psychopathy and its neurological basis, clarifying this doesn't mean being a killer but the ability to "turn empathy off." [11:25]

• Reddit Top Comment Reflection:

  • Story highlighted the need for business detachment: "At a certain point you just have to turn it off. That is exactly what we were saying." [17:12]

• Validating OP's Concern:

  • Jordan: "OP shouldn’t be feeling guilty… Just focus and never, ever, ever be embarrassed about being neurodivergent." [13:29]

Notable Moment:
Jordan and Simon joke about "bad mantism" as a "sick rap name," bringing levity to a heavy topic. [06:48]

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2. Addiction and Neurodiversity (Reddit Story #2)

[22:03–35:29]

Story Summary

A 51-year-old software engineer, newly diagnosed as autistic, recounts decades of substance use (alcohol and drugs) to "feel normal," only recently finding a sense of belonging in neurodivergent online spaces. They ask, "Are there other neurodivergents that use substances to try and be normal?"

Hosts' & Sophie's Insights

• Finding Your Tribe:

  • Jordan: "We don’t, we shouldn’t have to pretend or try and be someone else to fit in. If we can find our tribe, then you can just be who you are…" [24:14]

• Self-Medicating for Social Ease:

  • Simon: Candidly shares his experiences with weed and alcohol, noting how these substances made socializing and masking easier, but at personal cost. [25:18]
  • "I would be in so many social situations scripting in my head… and as soon as I would have… half a puff of a joint or a little bit of something else… I would actually mellow and get really chilled out." [25:18]

• Alexithymia and Alcohol:

  • Sophie: Explains neurodivergent people who struggle to translate thoughts into words may turn to alcohol as a “shortcut” for communication. [27:18]

• Cycle of Shame:

  • Simon: "To help yourself in the moment by taking substances, you’re actually punishing yourself and having a detriment to your future self later down the line." [31:34]

• Social & Medical Challenges in Diagnosis:

  • Jordan notes misdiagnosis is common: "It's almost like… the garage, and… you know for a fact that it's the brakes… but they just spend forever beating around the bush." [32:30]
  • Points out American stereotypes and stigma around autism persist and make self-understanding harder. [33:01]

• Recovery and Self-Acceptance:

  • Hosts emphasize the need for acceptance and therapy over self-medication.
  • Simon: "If you’re drinking to feel normal and then suddenly you’re drinking every day to feel normal, like I was doing, you become reliant. That’s dangerous." [30:03]
  • Jordan: "The answer isn’t keep trying to mask. The answer is try to accept who you are." [35:29]

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3. Emotional Meltdowns & Crying (Reddit Story #3)

[37:14–55:07]

Story Summary

OP wonders if crying a lot—"at any strong emotion," even at work and in happy moments—is a neurodivergent trait and if others have the same experience.

Hosts' & Sophie's Insights

• Emotional Crying as Common:

  • Sophie: "I am a big crier… It’s bad because it’s such an external way to show people how you feel… but it’s almost like you can’t switch it off." [39:32]
  • ADHD medication has reduced her crying, but emotional overflow remains a factor.

• Impact of Medication on Emotional Processing:

  • Simon: "I used to be a huge crier before I started taking ADHD meds… Now I do take ADHD meds, sometimes something sad happens on the TV and I’m there in my head going, you cold, hard motherfucker." [40:24]

• Sensory & Empathic Triggers:

  • Simon: Recalls crying in emotional response to music, films, or “a pigeon with only one foot,” highlighting heightened sensitivity. [41:23]

• Crying as a Stress Cycle Completion:

  • Sophie notes crying may be the body’s way of completing the stress cycle—emotional release helps reset. [44:21]
  • "I always feel better, really, after a cry. Like, I really do feel better after I cry a lot of the time." [44:21]

• Self-Inducing Catharsis:

  • The group shares "crying stim" behaviors—deliberately listening to sad songs to trigger tears and emotional release.
  • Simon: "I will put the same song on every single time. Outro by M83 always makes me cry… Let's get that energy out." [45:28]
  • Jordan: "I stick on the beginning of Up… and the end of Toy Story 3, and I’m just blubbering like a newborn." [48:37]

• Emotional Regulation as a Key Medication Effect:

  • Both Sophie and Simon say the main benefit of ADHD meds isn't focus, but emotional regulation. [46:42]
  • Sophie: "That ADHD medication just gives me a little bit more time internally to process what’s going on." [47:08]

• Community Laughter:

  • The group finds humor in a Reddit comment where someone misspells “neurodivergent” as “neurodiverfent” due to dyslexia—finding community even in mistakes. [48:49]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "If you want to be successful at business, you have to be a bit of a shit. And the more of a shit you are, the more successful." – Jordan [11:24]
• "I'm really upset. Come on, tears. Where you at? Like I'm so used to being the opposite." – Simon [40:24]
• "It's shame that destroys people's confidence. Shame in who you are." – Sophie [30:06]
• "Maybe alcohol makes you love yourself." – Simon, wryly, on using alcohol to ease social pressures [30:54]
• "The answer isn't keep trying to mask. The answer is try to accept who you are." – Jordan [35:29]
• "I just want to read the beginning of the top comment… it's beautiful… neurodiverfunt because I have dyslexia." – Jordan, finding communal joy in neurodivergent communication [48:49]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Reddit Story #1 – Empathy & Business Culture: 06:01–19:39
• Reddit Story #2 – Addiction as Self-Medication: 22:03–35:29
• Reddit Story #3 – Emotional Meltdowns & Crying: 37:14–55:07
• Sophie’s Current Work in Neurodivergent Mentoring: 51:38–54:26

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Tone and Language

• Candid, warm, and self-deprecating: The hosts and Sophie use humor and openness to unpack heavy topics.
• Lived-experience centered: The group frequently references their own lives and emotions, modeling vulnerability.
• Supportive and validating: Listeners are repeatedly reminded they aren’t alone and that neurodivergent quirks are often communal.
• Occasional swearing and informality: The language is unfiltered and authentic, consistent with the "honest, raw" spirit of the show.

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Closing Thoughts

• The hosts invite listeners to share their own "Reddit-style" stories for future episodes.
• Sophie shares her passion for neurodivergent peer mentoring, noting the value of tribe, lived experience, and collective wisdom.
• Key message: Connection, self-acceptance, and open conversation are crucial for thriving as neurodivergent people.

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This summary encapsulates all the main stories, insights, and moments of solidarity from the episode, providing a roadmap of the lived neurodivergent experience as explored by Jordan, Simon, and Sophie.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

Welcome to the Neurodivergent Experience Podcast, a podcast where we share the lived experiences of neurodivergent people to help create a better understanding for our community.

[B]

Join us every week as we bring you honest, raw, and inspiring conversations with specialists, advocates, and individuals who know exactly what it's like to live the neurodivergent experience.

[A]

I'm Jordan James, a neurodivergent specialist, father of neurodivergent children, husband to a neurodivergent wife, and author of the Autistic Experience. And I'm joined by my best friend.

[B]

I'm Simon Scott. I'm an autistic ADHD broadcaster, actor, and advocate. Join us as we journey into unraveling the neurodivergent experience.

[A]

Hello. Hello, everybody. Scotty, Hello. You have a guest.

[B]

Hello. Hello. Hello.

[A]

We have a guest.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

We got Sophie. Sophie. My daughter Sophie. Just in case anyone doesn't know. Yes. Yeah.

[E]

Very ill.

[B]

So, yeah, she's got a plague.

[A]

Yeah. Good. Good timing.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I was like, do you want to do this podcast? And she was like, man. And then I told her the. The subject, and she's like, you son of a bitch. I mean, God damn it, I'm in.

[B]

I'm back in.

[A]

Yeah, I'm. Yeah, just. It was. It's a lost job before retirement.

[B]

I can't wait to sit on the beach with Martha one more time.

[A]

Just one more podcast.

[E]

I'm obsessed with Reddit stories, even though I don't actually have Reddit, but I'm obsessed with Reddit stories.

[A]

But you're ruining the subject. We haven't even got on to that.

[B]

Surprise. We're doing Reddit stor.

[A]

Yes. Well, let me. Let me announce it in the way that I was going to start again. This is. This is your last time, Sophie. I've decided. Yeah. So we did a Reddit story last week, the inspired episode, and Sophie and I are really into listening to Reddit podcasts, like Smosh Reads Reddit and Too Hot Takes who, which is a great show with a girl called Morgan who is autistic adhd, and she invites loads of wonderful guests, and it's really, really fun. And I've been telling Scotty about it, and Scotty has really been into reading some neurodivergent Reddit stories lately.

[B]

I've been reading for a long time, to be honest.

[E]

You.

[A]

You were like, do you want to do a Reddit episode once a month? And I think. I think I'm like, yes, please. One, because they're awesome, and I. And I'm really, really into it. And two, I think we're kind of running out of things, and I think this. This. This keeps it fresh.

[B]

Yeah, it does keep it fresh, because we can only talk about Our experiences so much and the well isn't deep. You know, we've, we've talked about a lot of things with neurodivergence, but we keep going over masking and PDA and stimming and things like that. And this is a lived experience podcast, so it's about time that we heard from other lived experiences. And Reddit is a great place for that.

[A]

And it is.

[B]

Getting guests is hard.

[A]

Yeah, we, we are, we, we do have guests lined up. Promise you. We've got some great guests lined up, but everybody is super, super busy.

[B]

We're busy when they're free and then

[A]

we're busy when they're free and some of them are in other countries, so it's a matter of timing. So we are trying. But we do have a guest and that guest is Sophie James.

[B]

She's been forced to come downstairs and hang out with us. So everyone appre.

[A]

Yeah, we're sharing a microphone. It's gross.

[E]

I've got through my demand avoidance about doing it and I'm here.

[A]

Yeah, so you should.

[B]

And so it begins.

[A]

Let's drag to in with. With Reddit. So we got three Reddit stories for you lovely listeners. We would like some feedback on this. So please, please, please comment or send some emails whether you thought they were. It was good. Whether you, you know, you want us to carry on. We'll probably carry on anyway because it's our show and. Yeah, but if you really, really don't like it, let us know and then we will decide if that is something we will continue with. But here we go. So Reddit story number one. Yeah, this is from four days ago. Thoughts on neurodivergence who lack empathy in brackets. Bad man autism, which can I just

[B]

interject, is a sick rap name.

[A]

Bad mantism. Oh, come on.

[B]

Just makes me think of Ali G when he's doing the helicopter sound effects with his.

[A]

Anyway, the op that's original poster says I'm autistic ADHD and have built a career as a six figure career nanny.

[B]

Okay, you're back, girl.

[A]

Yeah, specifically for neurodivergent kiddos. The thing is, I started getting some very high profile clients like billionaires with private jets. Most of the kids usually have parents who are neurodivergent. Shocking. I learned that a lot of successful people are neurodivergent who learn to use their think outside the box skills to get way ahead in life, but also kind of exploit people and cheat the system. My problem is in brackets. While I love the kids, kids are kids. No matter who their parents are. Working in these VIP estates, I've seen a lot. My very neurodivergent and very successful bosses have treated me really poorly over the years overall. They seem to lack their ability to access empathy a lot of the time or chose not to use it a lot of the time. They don't connect with their kids and kind of treat them like pets, and that's why they have nannies around the clock. Other things like getting away with not paying taxes and a lot of shady stuff. While they're often amazing at performative charisma, they make choices that benefit themselves at the expense of others. I'm hyper empathetic, and I know a lot of neurodivergence are good people, but lately I don't want to disclose my diagnosis to anyone because I know so many horrible people with the same in brackets, profile or neurotype as me. I'm in the United States, and with everything going on, I don't want to be associated with people like Elon Musk. I know I'm kind of jaded, but I've met humans like him, worked for humans like him, and I know it's trauma related, but can you guys help me feel less shame for this making. For this, making this association? Okay? That's a bit messed up. You're making this association. Okay. Interesting, interesting. Very, very interesting. Sophie. Thoughts, Scotty?

[B]

Thoughts. That wasn't the sound of a door opening. It was Sophie stroking her chin, thinking of what to say. Yeah, no, this for me, made me think of whenever you see those TV shows where it's like, I work 80 hours a week, you need to step up those numbers, man. Like, you know when you meet those, like, CEO characters and all the TV shows and they're working like 20 hours a day, and they're ruthless and cutthroat and doing the deals and like, people be like, you screwed me. Well, you screwed me first, man. Like, all of that sort of business, business, business, business. Then they go, oh, yeah, I've got three kids. Oh, how are you gonna have a relationship with those three kids if you're super, super hyper focused on your career and your job of being a cutthroat business?

[A]

Well, can I. Can I just say that I had an abusive mother who was definitely neurodivergent. Looking back, she was horrible to her kids. It was all about her. It was all about how she was treated, and she needed to be special. And everything was about putting us in competition with each other. It's this lack of empathy or lack of Showing of empathy isn't exclusive to billionaire assholes. Yeah, it is a thing that narcissists do. And being a narcissist is a type of neurodivergence in itself. And I think it's something that if you surround yourself with narcissists or you look up to narcissists and see things like, oh, I should be like that, or that's just how you're brought up. We are susceptible to just influence being easily influenced. We did a whole episode on that. So I'm, I'm not against thinking that a lot of these people are very easily influenced by their surroundings. And they've had to be like that because business, this is why I don't like the idea of being a businessman. If you want to be a successful at business, you have to be a bit of a shit.

[B]

You've got to be a killer.

[A]

You have to be a shit. And the more of a shit you are, the more successful. And I also think it's possible that they are possibly psychopaths and they have a shrunken amygdala, which is what is synonymous with being a psychopath. The psychopath does not mean killer. That is not. That is a different thing. It just means that you actually have the ability to turn your empathy off. So I think that that is, that's maybe the case here. Sophie, what do you think?

[E]

Yeah, I think it comes down to, you know, how you've been raised, who you've been around, you know, tunnel vision. And I think like you said, Scotty, you know, hyper focus on the goal and you will, you know, even it like when we get hyper focused on our special interests, it doesn't like whoever gets in the way is like, you know, punched out. You know, we need to get to that, to the end of the tunnel. Like we need to see it out. And sometimes we become very unaware of how that makes other people around us feel. And I would even say that I'm a very highly empathetic person. But when I am highly fixated on something, just sometimes people don't exist.

[A]

And I can be really good point.

[E]

I could be snappy and I can be rude and if I actually came out of my hyper focus, I'd realize, oh, I'm being awful right now.

[B]

But yeah, it's that detachment, it just

[E]

gets, yeah, completely detached when I'm hyper focused. And if someone is obviously hyper fixated on their business succeeding or making the most money and people can be very, very money orientated, it can almost. That can become a special Interest almost like a game. Like how much money could I possibly.

[B]

Watching the numbers go up is a stim for some people. I imagine looking at your bank account and seeing that decimal point move to the left is such a stem, I imagine.

[A]

Yeah, I, I don't think OP should be feeling guilty.

[B]

No.

[A]

Because at the end of the day, what their job is, is to bring up those kids. Now she's literally said that they're like pets to these people, but that is not the child's fault, trust me. So the best thing is again, with those kids being very easily influenced, make sure those kids don't end up like that because those kids will be mega rich. Those kids will never want for anything. They'll, they, they will never want for anything. Which is a dangerous situation to be in when you're a child because you don't learn how to work properly. Now, depending on how disabled these kids are, depending on, you know, how their neurodivergence is affecting them, if they are more capable, then she should be like making it her mission, very well paid mission, to bring those kids up better than their parents would ever. So I think that she should carry on doing this and, and, and, and just focus and never, ever, ever be embarrassed about being neurodivergent.

[B]

One thing that I will say, which has made me think about a few things. When you were discussing psychopaths, one of the links to psychopaths is early head trauma, which is related to a form of synaptic pruning due to injury. And it's something that does co occur with a lot of people that are diagnosed as psychopaths. But also on top of that as well, I have known neurodivergent people who don't necessarily mask, but their egos are outrageous. Like outrageous.

[A]

Why are you calling me out on the podcast?

[B]

I'm not, not you specifically, but I, I have met people that have an ego to the point of they almost refer to themselves in the third person.

[A]

And Jordan does not know what you're talking about.

[B]

Jordan does not like these asking Yay. Since Jordan does not like this one bit. But, but you know what I mean, right? If you, if you imagine a psychopathic behavior with a lower empathy due to a shrunken amygdala, take into the account the mask that is seared onto the ego plus hyper focus plus monotropic like tunnel vision. Oh, there's gonna be some really cold, harsh people out there. And you unfortunately, the reason as to why businesses like JP Morgan and things like that are so ridiculously successful is because they've got cold hard motherfuckers that work there, that can work 18 hours a day and look at somebody on a spreadsheet and go, I'm not ruining a family, I'm saving the company money. Off you go. And that's what is.

[E]

They probably normalize it. Yeah, they probably normalize it to each other and they just like feed into each other's, you know,

[A]

we've all heard it. They go, oh, it's not personal, it's just business.

[B]

Yeah, it's the Patrick Bateman raising kids is what I'm thinking of.

[E]

And you're just like, oh, but that's also the thing. It's, it's a lot about how you're raised as a person. And every neurodivergent person is raised in a different environment. And a lot of the time empathetic understanding is something that we can naturally be like very, that could be our natural strength, but it's also something that everyone can learn. And if someone isn't actually taught empathetic understanding or you know, they maybe are emotionally not naturally very intelligent in that manner and that's not your environment, then you can be really like dissociated from even trying to put yourself into other people's shoes.

[B]

Very good point. Well, yeah, very interesting Reddit story that one.

[A]

Where is it is the top comment is quite interesting, someone saying basically I am personally someone that is on the spectrum and in business and also work with a lot of well known companies and oftentimes important people. I think one of the reasons that a lot of neurodivergent or even neurotypical people can come over in their personal social life as non empathetic or too blunt is because in business you either eat or get eaten. I think a lot of people kind of forget that when you're in business for like 40 hours a week. It really, really has an effect on the way that you see the world and the way you empathize and socialize. Like for example, I myself am pretty empathetic person, but at a certain point you just have to turn it off. That is exactly what we were saying. It's sometimes it's not that they're not empathetic is the fact that they have to switch it off because if they are too empathetic, you won't be successful. Unfortunately. Like they say, nice, nice guys finish last. Well, that's not necessarily true in life, but that is often true in business.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Which is just sad, isn't it?

[B]

It is sad.

[E]

I mean, we're literally watching that on the Apprentice at the moment, it's like they're like upscaling the value of their products, like to a crazy amount, even though they're not worth that at all. And they're actually really terrible. But it's like basically about manipulating someone else into them thinking that this is worth a lot more money. So then you can get a lot more money.

[B]

Yeah. Something's worth the value that you set it up.

[A]

Yeah. There was one scene where the guy Alan sug like, well, why didn't you push them to get a higher price? And the guy was like, well, I don't know. I thought, I felt like I might have insulted them or upset them. And he literally went, it's business. Insulting and upsetting is part of that. That you shouldn't feel embarrassed and you shouldn't feel embarrassed. And I'm like, oh, I would be really shit on the Apprentice.

[B]

Yeah. I vividly remember when I was taught pitching at university to ask for twice as much money as you need.

[A]

I'm happy to negotiate, but there's also that part of me that's like, but I don't want to be an ass.

[B]

No. They go, okay, you need 15k to get your show made. Ask for 30 because then you, you can haggle down to 20 and things like that. There's like all of this. Yeah. But then you look, but if you ask for 15, you'll only get five.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, no. I know how to haggle, trust me. But it's, it's. There is that point of just like, oh, I don't want to upset anyone. Well, anyway, let's have a break and then we can get on to the next one.

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you ever been stuck on a weight loss plateau, trying everything and anything you can to lose that extra weight and reach peak health? We've all been there. But Noom's unlocked a secret to reaching the mountaintop. Goin micro. The Noom GLP1 microdose program starts at $99 and is delivered to your door in seven days. Start your microdose GLP1 journey today at noom.com that's n o o m dot com. Noom micro changes big results. Noom GLP1 RX program involves healthy diet, exercise and support. Individual results may vary. Meds and personalization Clinical need Not reviewed by FDA for safety, efficacy or quality. No affiliation with Novo Nordisk, Inc. The only US source of FDA approved semaglutide not available in all 50 US states. Hi everyone, it's Ashley Dupuis, the in house therapist here on the neurodivergent Experience and host of Mindful Mondays. And if you've been listening to these podcasts and thinking, gosh, I'd love to explore this work more deeply, I wanted to let you know about a special final opportunity to work with me one to one. So I'm gradually bringing my regular one to one practice to a close so that I can focus more on group work and recordings and other new exciting projects. But before I do, I'm taking on a small final round of one to one clients for a six session journey running from May to the end of July. So if this work has been resonating and you feel called to work with me directly, now is your last chance to do so and I'd love to hear from you. You can register your interest by emailing me at integrativeiomail.com or find out more at integrativeiom.co.uk.

[B]

Welcome back to the neurodivergent Experience. We've got Sophie James with us this week and we've been discussing Reddit stories and we are about to start with our second one. Okay, here's the next here's the next story. Did I find my people thoughts on addiction and neurodiversity? And this is the original post. My journey has been an odd one. I have spent the last 24 hours scrolling and reading and on rare occasion commenting. In short, I believe I have been using alcohol and drugs to self medicate for decades. Brackets. I am 51 and I'm recently diagnosed for the first time as being in the spectrum of autism. Yes, he was an actual neurologist handing me actual papers and stuff. Took me a year to get a diagnosis after many years searching. First on really good health insurance, now on Medicaid after a long career as a really good, albeit drunk software engineer. Mostly it was bipolar, no major depressive, no. Antisocial personality, no borderline well, what about his ptsd? All symptoms thrown at him. I don't see a lot of mention of substance abuse in this sub, which is actually nice. I spent a lot of time in the other ones talking about addiction, but never really seeing eye to eye with other addicts. I think I just wanted to be normal, but I'm okay with not being. By the way, I am totally in a great place right now. Happy to just put a path I can go down. In fact, I am eating ice cream and enjoying a movie from my childhood. That would be the 80s, a golden movie era. Are there other neurodivergence that use substances to try and be normal? I feel like I'm starting to narrow down the individuals that are kind of my tribe. Feel free to also send me a message. I think I'm getting closer. Thanks.

[A]

I love this one because not I love this for him. I love, I love the fact that he's figured out who he is at 51. It's kind of sad, but at least he's got there. But also he uses in the spectrum. And I'm like, wait a minute. I, I came up with that.

[B]

Yeah, that really tickled me.

[A]

Is this person Follow me.

[B]

I hope it wasn't a typo.

[A]

I came up within the spectrum which is like just. I never ever see it and it's the first time I've actually seen it where, where I haven't written it, which I think is really, really great. But yeah, I, I, this is a story oldest time. And I've known quite a few people that have used substances, including myself when I was younger. Just, just to feel like you have the confidence to fit in. But at the end of the day, that is the point is that we don't, we shouldn't have to pretend or try and be someone else to fit in. If we can find our tribe, then you can just be who you are, which is a beautiful thing. And who doesn't like eating ice cream and watching, you know, 80s movies?

[E]

I love that part of that.

[A]

That's, that was. I think, I think we should do that after this. Yeah, we, we know what we're doing today

[B]

now. Cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, this, this one sort of very personal for me because this is very similar to my own experience of. I used to smoke a lot of weed at university and I used to hang around with a lot of stoners and all of them were neurodivergent. And it was because the sort of reaction that people would have when they would smoke together. They would all relax and unmask and be silly and it would be a space where you would be expected to be silly and goof around and have fun and just eat and watch movies and chat. And it helped me find people that were really similar in my aspects. And I've had a, an up and down relationship with, with substances and alcohol. But I agree, there were so many times where I would be in so many social situations scripting in my head or, like, trying to think about what to say or, or how to be myself. And as soon as I would have maybe one or two drinks or half a puff of a joint or a little bit of something else, and it would amaze me how confident and chill I would feel while everyone else around me was like, high and, and buzzing and pranking out. And I would be the complete opposite. I would actually mellow and get really chilled out. And it was one of the things that actually alerted me to being neurodivergent and having ADHD after doing a bit of research and reading on the. The relationship between the two. But that's just my story. It's interesting to see that I'm not alone in that. Sophie, what's your thoughts on this little tale?

[E]

I feel like I see a lot of people at uni go through that experience as well who are neurodivergent. And I think especially for those that maybe struggle translating their thoughts into, you know, sentences and words and need more time to, to process and, and articulate their words.

[A]

Alexithymia.

[E]

Yeah, I think, I think that's when people can almost turn to alcohol because, like you said, it, you know, it allows you to, to switch off that, that anxiety, that worry even, you know, just increased. What am I trying to say? Like, increase the thought process so you just, you less. There's less time spent thinking about what you're about to say. You can just say it quicker.

[B]

That's one of the things that I found interesting with the understanding neurodivergence and alcohol and substances in general is marijuana. And alcohol slows the nerve reaction within your brain. It slows that A to B, B to a process which, if you're somebody who's like me, who has a freaking combustion engine of a brain. One of the things that I was constantly looking for in my early 20s was trying to slow my brain down. It was too intense. So it's, it's, it makes so much sense to me that neurodivergent people would fall into these crowds. And especially because my special interest was in music and film and arts and creativity. And a lot of people that you hang around with in those spaces are bohemian. They're all smoking cigarettes, they're all drinking shit wine, they're all smoking joints, and they're taking magic mushrooms and all of this sort of stuff. And it's a place where I used to Find if you were like me at university and you were in a kitchen at four in the morning listening to birds starting to chirp and the day was starting, the amount of info dumping that takes place in those spaces where somebody just takes over a room for an hour and just rants used to be a very, very common thing that I used to experience. And looking back on it now with the knowledge that I have with looking through a nearly divergent lens, all of these spaces, I used to find myself with people that used to struggle to sleep, used to struggle to process their thoughts, couldn't really communicate unless they'd had a drink. And it's, it's healthy in a certain aspect, but as soon as that line gets crossed, that's when like the dysregulation, the. The lack of a sense of danger or consequences can make it really dangerous. So even though I'm saying, yeah, they're places that I found myself, I found my tribe in those spaces in my early 20s. It didn't have the most healthy relationship and environment for me all the time. Like, you know, there were times where I definitely crossed the line and took it way too far. I'm not telling anybody what they should and shouldn't do. You, like, go and have your fun figure out. But also, like, if you're drinking to feel normal and then suddenly you're drinking every day to feel normal, like I

[E]

was doing, you become reliant.

[B]

That's dangerous. Yeah, that's dangerous.

[E]

To feel a certain way that you want to be. Whereas actually there. There is a problem in that. And the problem comes from shame and not accepting who you are and how you communicate and how you process the world. And even if you do that at, you know, maybe a slower pace or if you do that in an alternative way, I think that's. It's shame that destroys people's confidence. Shame in who you are.

[B]

That's a really good thing to bring up, Sophie, because I would have shame in how I would communicate or stim. Or just exist being myself. And then as soon as I'd have like two beers, I'd be like, this is a cool guy. I'm having a great time. I'm all, loosey goosey, baby, loosey goosey.

[A]

Maybe alcohol makes you love yourself.

[B]

Yeah. And then as soon as you hit the fifth beer, that's when the anxiety comes back in and you're like, oh, everybody's watching me and, oh, I need to think about what I'm saying. And I'm upsetting people now, and it's there's like a magic spot that you find yourself in, and as soon as you go past that, it gets worse. But one thing I will mention, as somebody who used to drink and use substances a lot to feel normal, and I. And I can say I'm not there now. The hangover and the come down or whatever on whatever you've taken or whatever you've been drinking will make you feel so awful and the shame that you'll feel in that hangover. And nine times out of 10 people will tell you, error the dog. The way to get rid of a hangover is to just keep drinking. And that's when you can get in a really dangerous way, because when you're doing things like that, that activate dopamine, you wake up the next day with a dopamine deficiency, which obviously for neurodivergent people is kind of the problem. So to help yourself in the moment by taking substances, you're actually punishing yourself and having a detriment to your future self later down the line.

[E]

It's just an endless cycle.

[B]

It's just an endless cycle. And I got myself stuck in that loop for about five, six years, and it. I did myself a lot of damage. So. Yeah, be careful out there, guys.

[A]

Yeah. I think the other thing with OP is, is when he's talking about that when he tried to get diagnosed in the past, you know, they've come back and they're gone. Oh, it's bipolar or major depressive or.

[B]

I got bipolar for about a year.

[A]

Yes. Happens so often because it's, it's almost like, like, you know, there's something wrong with your car, and then you, you take it to the garage and they'll, they'll tell you that it's all these different things, but you know for a fact that it's the brakes, because you, you press on them and they don't work and you're like, well, it's the brakes. And they're like, well, it could be this and it could be that and they just spend forever beating around the bus.

[B]

The threat of your tires.

[A]

Yeah. And. And this, this is the thing about the, the whole autism thing especially. And it seems like this person is probably in the States because they talk about getting their insurance and stuff like that. Medical insurance. And it is, it is that stereotype of autism still. There is a stigma behind the, or the whole idea of autism still all around the world, let's be honest, but especially in the States, because that's where it all comes from. That's where the Idea of whatever we think autism is usually comes from the States because the states has the biggest influence on the rest of the world, especially when it comes to, you know, media in general. So I think that, you know, it's. It is sad to have. Because he sounds like he's been through the ringer, which is probably another reason why he's turned alcohol.

[B]

51 as well.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, 51. But it's good because he seems to, like, be finding his tribe. It would be nicer if he got off the alcohol, I'll be honest, but that doesn't really sound like that's his deal. And reading some of the comments, I won't go into them too much, but they basically just be like, yeah, I do that too. And I'm really into doing like, microdosing and drugs and they really help me. And that's fine. If that, if that works for you,

[B]

becomes a special interest for people. Very good.

[A]

It does, yeah. If that, if that's what you're into, I'm. I'm not going to recommend it. I, I don't personally agree with doing drugs in order to help you fit in. I think it's much better just having therapy and finding yourself and accepting yourself. But if you enjoy drinking and doing drugs, then I guess that's what you enjoy doing. And yeah, maybe try collecting pop characters.

[E]

I'm just so the complete opposite. I just, I cannot stand being hungover and just like, I'm already so intense. More like alcohol with me.

[B]

Do you know what it's crazy, Sophie, to think about? I used to wake up in the morning and have a drink just to try and go into lectures. Like, it got to that point I was in a bad way.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And now it's like I have like one beer and I go, much rather than lemon. If I'm honest.

[A]

The answer isn't. Keep trying to mask. The answer is try to accept who you are.

[E]

Find your crew.

[A]

Indeed. Right, so let's have one more break and we'll get on to the final Reddit story.

[E]

Oh, my gosh.

[D]

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[B]

Welcome back to the Neurodivergent Experience. We hope you had a lovely break. We had a lovely break because we were reading Reddit stories and that's what we've been discussing today. And. And for our third and final section, we have our third and final story.

[E]

Should I go?

[A]

Yeah, do it.

[E]

Okay. Does anyone else cry a lot? Is this part of neurodivergence? Yes, yes, yes.

[B]

End of story.

[A]

End of story.

[B]

Now here's the rest of the story.

[E]

Any strong emotion? I have tears. What I hate the most is when it happens at work. And it has been because I'm stressed. I'm at a new job in an environment I've never been in. I fucking hate that I cry because of stress. I can't help it. I get over it. But still crying, even when I'm happy. Tears. Fucking crying. Gah. I had just adjusted to this because I'd been WFH for five years, but now that I'm back in the office, people are like, don't cry, it's okay. Or just. It's like an emoji. That's like

[B]

the deadpan. But is it like a rally or. A rally?

[E]

No, it's like a one eyebrow up.

[B]

It's like, oh, it's judgy little face.

[E]

Yes, judgy face.

[B]

A little bit.

[E]

I hate it. Edit. And I work in mental health care.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

I mean, personally, I'm rather jarred by Sophie's Oscar worthy performance. Yeah. But yeah. Every time I hear my daughter say the word fuck, it just sends a shiver down my spine.

[B]

Language.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Language.

[A]

She's. She's 22, but I'm still like, young lady. Yeah. I don't like it when my son swears either. It's not a gender thing or a sex thing. It's. I just. I don't know when my kids swear, but I just hear Simon when he's playing video games going, he learned from the best. Shut up.

[B]

Anyway, you're a divergency.

[A]

Neurodivergent, too. Anyway, back to the Reddit story.

[E]

I am a big crier.

[A]

You are this girl, except you don't work.

[E]

But because I take ADHD medication, ever since taking ADHD medication, I. I really cry up, like, very minimally compared to the average amount of crying that I do. It's a lot less. Just like, I can't cry when I'm taking ADHD medication until something really, really upsets me. But po. Pre. Not post. Pre medication. It's bad. It's bad because it's such an external way to show people how you feel about certain things. And it's almost like you can't switch it off. It's just like water just starts running from your eyes and you just. Oh, it's very intense.

[B]

So I completely agree with that. Sophie. I used to be a huge crier before I started taking ADHD meds, and now I do take ADHD meds. Sometimes something sad happens on the TV and I'm there in my head going, you cold, hard motherfucker. I'm not even, like, genuinely, like. I just go, I'm really upset. Come on, tears. Where you at? Like, I'm so used to being the opposite of. I would be at work and somebody would tell me off, and I could feel them coming, and I'd be like, you get back in there, you. And it would happen all the time. Like, I suffer. Say suffer. I experience Frisian. So, like, I listen to music and I have a very emotional effect to the point of I can be in a record shop listening to a song that comes on and it will catch me in the. In, I suppose, the right way, the wrong way, and I will just burst into tears randomly. I will be in the street and I will see a pigeon with only one foot looking really sad, and I will start crying. Like, this is something that I used to experience a lot.

[A]

It's funny that you think it's funny,

[B]

but that's what I mean, right? I used to just cry and stuff. I would. I would go and watch a band that I didn't like and I would be stood in the crowd at a festival going, I'll see how these guys go. And the vibration would hit me in such a way that I'd be crying. I would have that perception sensitivity of, wow, people are going to look at me and think, I really love this fucking band. When really I'm just here. I'm only crying because of the vibrations are hitting me in a way that's giving me.

[A]

I'm crying because I hate them and I'm stuck. I can't move.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. And even worse, when I used to like be in relationships or I was dating somebody and I wanted to break up with them after the third date. And then I would just start crying as I was trying to break up with them. And I just feel like a big old wimp.

[A]

Yeah, I think I've talked about this before. When it comes to meltdowns is that they, they represent in, in many different ways, but most of it is two particular ways. One is loss of emotion in anger. So loss of self control of, you know, throwing things, punching things, hurting ourselves, things like that. That's very much my profile. Before Ashley helped me and with Sophie, I always noticed this is. Her profile is very much. She, she was just, she would just cry. She would just cry and she'd be sitting there going, I don't want to cry. I don't know, crying, tears streaming down her face. And it was, it was just part of the meltdown. And you would, I would just be like, okay, this is what it is. She'll cry for other reasons simply because she's a very emotional person. I am also the same. I don't think I can go through a single movie of any of the Lord of the Rings trilogy without crying at the exact same places every single time. Boromir's death, oh my God. I will cry right now, right now. I will Aragon tear kiss that man on the head right now. But it's the same. I mean, I've watched, I swear, three or four times now, and I'm still got tears in my eyes of each point. At the same point. I'm just an emotional person and it doesn't matter how many times I've seen something, I'm still gonna have that exact same emotion and it's gonna come out in tears. But I'm not a tears meltdown person unless I hold back my anger and I go, I'm not gonna lose my temper, I'm not gonna get angry. I'm not gonna, I'm not going to let that anger out and then all of a sudden, then I'm crying. So I think it's very common. Very common. It's like, does anyone else cry a lot? Is this part of neurodivergence? Absolutely. And it's mostly part of the. Part of meltdowns, which, if you haven't worked for a while and you're now going into work, well, duh, you can have a meltdown. It's a working environment. It's a very difficult environment to just walk into.

[E]

Or sometimes I feel like it can almost, like, be us subconsciously, like, completing our stress cycle of, like, something's really, you know, stressed us out, whether that was someone's tone or someone reacting to us or a situation. And we. We built up this, you know, stress and intensity internally. And I think maybe for someone like me, it doesn't even have to be that deep. And I mean, like, premedication, but it didn't have to be that deep. But it would just. Just, like, tears would just start rolling from my eyes. And I feel like it was almost my way of completing my stress cycle because I always feel better, really, after a cry. Like, I really do feel better after I cry a lot of the time.

[A]

I sometimes deliberately will put on music that I know that might invoke that emotion because it does every. It does it in. It. It could. And. And I absolutely believe this. This could be another stim.

[B]

I was just about to say this, dude. When I'm really struggling or I'm stressed and I feel like I want to cry and it won't come out. Like, I have had so many experiences with Caris recently where things have changed. Like, she really struggles with transition. And I will just say to her, oh, I don't think we can do that tomorrow. And she'll just start crying. She's like, I'm not upset, but it's just coming. This is just how it. My body's processing it. And like, yeah, that's cool. But for me, I sometimes really struggle to get tears out. Especially now I'm taking the ADHD medication. I will put the same song on every single time. Outro by M83 always makes me cry. So I'm just like, right, come on, let's get it out. Let's let get that energy out of my body and release it. And it's funny how post ADHD medication and now have to help myself with that release to force it. Whereas with premedication, I couldn't stop it to the point of it felt disabling. And I'm like, It's so funny how obviously people talk about ADHD medication. I. I don't think it should just be for adhd. I think it should be for our neurotype in general. But they always go about the focusing thing. They never talk about the emotional regulation thing.

[A]

And, well, we do. Well, we do bloody doctors and we know it.

[E]

That's literally the. I would say the prime reason I take medication, it's not for focus. I, you know, not for me personally, is just for emotional regulation and being able to see things in the moment more objectively because I almost have a little bit more time in my brain to think things through, whereas I feel like without medication, I'm so fast paced. I'm so on it. I'm so just taking it at face value, and it could just be, you know, very speedy and intense. Whereas that ADHD medication just gives me a little bit more time internally to process what's going on. But literally, I watched the I Swear movie and I spoke to Mama afterwards, and she went, did you cry? And she went, no. She was like, what? That's so odd. I was like, it's the medication. I just. I don't know. I felt. I felt it internally. And so I completely get what you mean is I have certain songs that I put on because now I'm almost got to a point where I'm like, I need. I need to cry. I need to have a good cry. This is part of who I am. And this is how sometimes I process things. And I feel. I feel like I've processed it, but. And sometimes I just need to cry in order to do that.

[B]

It resolves that processing feeling for me. It's like, last week, I had a super busy, busy week with work. I had like 10 episodes of a podcast I recorded and edited and absolute loony behavior for me, but I really needed to cry and it wouldn't come out. So I put the last 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan on YouTube and I absolutely blubbed my ass off to it. And I was just like, oh, God, I needed that because I knew it would make me cry. So I just stick.

[A]

I stick on the beginning of Up. Yeah. And the end of Toy Story 3, And I'm just blubbering like a newborn. I just. I just want to read the beginning of the top comment. Not because it's. It's useful, but simply because it. This is beautiful. This is beautiful, right? Somebody written. This is from seven hours ago. I'm loving this. For a full disclosure, I am neurodiver. This is spelled so badly I can't even say it. I am neurod verfont because I have dyslexia. So they've obviously swapped the G and the F around. So it's neurodiverfunt. So my dyslexia makes me not be able to read it. And then they said, because I have dyslexia. But then they go on to say, but my brother is autistic, my uncle was autistic. And I wonder if my dad was autistic. And I act like my dad. Like, I think you're all. So who's gonna tell it? This is the same brain P people. I, I just, I just, I literally have a tear in my eye from laughter of just the fact that neurodivergent, it's spelt wrong. And then they say, because I have dyslexia. And I'm just. And it's definitely not deliberate. It's definitely because I know we can

[B]

laugh about it because we've got dyslexia. It's friendly.

[A]

I can't even. My dyslexia is so bad, I can't even read. I'm looking at it. I'm like that. I don't rec. I know that word, but because it's got an F instead of a G, somehow my brain goes, yeah, and it just, just literally like, do. Do a horse noise. And I just, I cannot figure that word out. But I just thought it's neurodiverfent. This. I'm still struggling. Neurodiverfent. Anyway, I love it. I think that's beautiful. I just, I love that. I love that. Anyway, this has been a lot of fun. I've loved it. I've loved it.

[B]

Yeah, it also helps. It also helps us find ideas better because stories and talking about them instead of bringing up our own, repeating them all the time.

[A]

Well, if, if anybody listening has their own Reddit style story, please send them to us. Either put them in a comment section if you feel comfortable sharing it, or, you know, send us an email. And yeah, we, we can read out your Reddit story if you like. Obviously don't send it if you don't want it read out on the. On the air. But yeah, we, we would love to hear from you, our audience, and give your neurodivergent experiences out to the world and then you can be part of the show and help other people love and know themselves better. Sophie, tell us what you're up to Lately.

[E]

I've been sick.

[A]

No, not that donut.

[B]

I'm not Gonna get any year. Coughs I think people know each other.

[A]

Not that bit oldism. Try not to take it literally. I'll help you out. What job have you been doing since you left university?

[E]

So, I've been doing neurodivergent mentoring, peer mentoring. I've been doing that since I was years old. But I'm making this my life now because it's something I'm very passionate about. It's something. It's my special interest, neurodivergence, and how we can accept ourselves and look after ourselves and, you know, live the most fulfilling and enjoyable life we can. And I think sometimes that just comes best when you've spoken to someone who has the same neurotype as you and maybe has shared experiences and way of thinking. And I know that I could be a bit of a maniac and maybe not stop, you know, speaking. And I speak very quickly, but internally we are probably going through very, very similar processes and way of thinking. We just might externally communicate that differently.

[A]

And you've also been doing training as well, haven't you?

[E]

Yeah, I've been doing a counseling course and I'm also working a little bit at a nursery. So having real life experience with, you know, lots of different children with different neurotypes, and they're so funny. So there's so much that I'm learning and we'll continue to learn. This is something I'm so passionate about. And I just, you know, I want to be there for other people, to be able to have open discussions and conversations about, you know, our strengths, the things we find challenging, the way we view ourselves and the world, and how we can kind of combat those societal pressures or standards that are always placed upon us. It's very, very important to me. So I welcome anyone to get in touch with me and book a welcome session.

[A]

And how do we do that?

[E]

You visit my website or you email

[B]

me, I'll put it in the link, it's all.

[A]

Or go on to Facebook and search for Sophie James's page. And yeah, I'm just absolutely blown away. She decided that, you know, she didn't want to work for other people. She wants to work for herself. She wants to be independent. And she's been absolutely just hitting the ground running, just doing an absolutely brilliant job.

[B]

Nice. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. The best thing that I ever did when I was learning to figure out who I was as a neurodivergent person, it wasn't going to a doctor and being handed a leaflet that was written in 1999. It was talking to people that have lived, experience and actually other neurodivergent people and using a tribe mentality and learning from our elders. Like, the best advice I could give anybody that's either a neurodivergent parent or a neurodivergent teenager, or even somebody that's in their 40s. Speak to an elder, whether they're 20 or 50. If they've got five, six years of unmasking ahead of you, speak to them, see what they see, what they know, see how they feel about life. And you'll learn a lot about yourself, I promise you.

[A]

But your mentoring is for everyone. It's not just for kids and teenagers. You've been for everyone mentoring adults as well.

[E]

Late diagnosed, at the end of the day. It's all about just having those discussions and learning how we can accept our neurotypes and work with who we are instead of trying to constantly change who we are to fit societal standards.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah. Watch your fist. People love that.

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

Bye everybody. This has been your neurodivergent Experience Reddit episode. We'll be back with more of these, I think Hot Topic tomorrow.

[E]

Bye nightly.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Thanks for tuning in to the neurodivergent Experience. We hope today's episode sparked something for you. Whether it's a new idea, a bit of validation, or just a moment of connection. Remember, new episodes are every week, so be sure to join us for the next one for more conversations and insights into the neurodivergent experience. If you've enjoyed this podcast, help us grow. Grow. You can do that by rating and reviewing this show. Your support makes a huge difference in helping us reach more people who could benefit from these conversations. You can connect with us on social media, find us on Instagram, Facebook, Tick tock. Just search for the neurodivergent Experience. Thank you again for listening and until next time, take care of yourself. You're not alone in this journey.

[C]

Big news. Boost Mobile is now sending experts nationwide to deliver and set up customers new phones at home or work.

[A]

Wait, we're going on tour?

[C]

Not a tour. We're delivering and setting up customers phones so it's easier to upgrade. Let's get in the tour bus and hit the road. No, not a tour bus. It's a regular car we use to deliver and set up customers phones at home or work.

[B]

Are you a groupie on the.

[C]

On this tour we deliver and set up phones. It's not a tour.

[B]

Oh, you're definitely a groupie.

[C]

Introducing store to door switch and get a new device with expert setup and delivery wherever you're at.

[B]

Delivery available for select devices purchased@boost mobile.com

[A]

this is the table, the one with the view. This is how you reserve exclusive tables with Chase Sapphire Reserve. This is your name on the list. This is the chef sending you something he didn't put on the menu. This is 3 times points on dining with Chase Sapphire reserve and a $300 dining credit that covered the citrus, Pavlova and drinks and the thing you didn't think you liked until you tasted it. Chase Sapphire Reserve now even more rewarding.

[B]

Learn [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan, Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval Lunch was

[C]

great, but this traffic is awful.

[D]

Can we stop at a bathroom? Are you alright? I keep having stomach issues after eating like diarrhea, gas and bloating, abdominal pain

[E]

and sometimes oily stools.

[D]

Sound familiar? Those stomach issues may actually be a pancreas issue called exocrine pancreatic insufficiency or epi. Creon pancrelipase may help manage epi. Creon is a prescription medicine used to treat people who can't digest food normally because their pancreas doesn't make enough enzymes.

[B]

Creon may increase your chance of fibrosing colonopathy, a rare bowel disorder. Tell your doctor if you have a history of intestinal blockage or scarring or thickening of your bowel wall, if you are allergic to pork or if you have gout, kidney problems or worsening of painful swollen joints. Call your doctor if you have any unusual or severe gastrointestinal symptoms or allergic reactions. Take Creon directed by your doctor and always with food. Do not chew capsules, as this may cause mouth irritation. Other side effects may include blood sugar changes, gas, dizziness in a sore throat and cough. These are not all the side effects of Creon. Call 863-9110 or visit creoninfo.com to learn more. That's C R E O N info. Com.

[D]

I'm asking my doctor about EPI and if Creon could help.