The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: Childhood Autism Diagnosis: Would It Have Made Our Lives Any Different?
Hosts: Jordan James & Simon Scott
Date: November 20, 2025

Episode Overview

In this candid and thoughtful episode, hosts Jordan James and Simon Scott explore a question many neurodivergent adults wonder: Would an autism diagnosis in childhood have fundamentally changed their lives? Drawing on their personal experiences as late-diagnosed autistic/ADHD adults, the pair dive into the pros and cons of early versus late diagnosis, the evolution of societal understanding, self-compassion, and reader experiences from the neurodivergent community.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Catch-Up and Tone Setting

• The episode starts with playful banter comparing recent concert experiences and the comfort of routine, highlighting sensory needs and neurodivergent preferences.
• “I find the idea of just going to a local theater, listening to a tribute band of songs I really, really know and love, just so much more comfortable than traveling to Amsterdam with, like, stressful thousands.” – Jordan James (04:11)
• Sets a relaxed, self-aware, and humorous tone for the deeper conversation to follow.

2. Framing the Big Question: The What-If of Childhood Diagnosis

• Scott introduces his inspiration for the episode from his work on “The Late Diagnosis Club” podcast and his personal reflections post-diagnosis (at age 28).
• Both hosts immediately recognize the nuances, noting how decades and social climates shape potential outcomes.
• “I’ve said to you, ‘Oh, everything would’ve been different.’ And you went, ‘Yeah, but would it have been good?’” – Scott recounts Jordan’s skepticism (05:23)

3. Pros of Childhood Diagnosis

A. Access, Accommodations & Validation

• Simon: Early diagnosis could mean support at school, accommodations (extra time), greater compassion, and crucially, a word for being different.
• “If I’d had a diagnosis, I feel like I would’ve been able to have asked for support at school without feeling like a burden.” – Scott (07:36)
• Having language for experiences (alexithymia, sensory needs) might have reduced self-criticism and confusion.

B. Family Understanding and Relationships

• Jordan: For him, a major pro would’ve been more patient, accommodating family relationships, better understanding with siblings and his late brother, and deeper connection with his father post-diagnosis.
• “Had we known back then about my neurodivergence, would I have been even closer with my brother?” – Jordan (12:04)

C. Self-Compassion

• Both acknowledge that a diagnosis earlier could have yielded greater self-empathy and less shame.
• “I think one of the biggest pros is that I would have had more empathy with myself. I definitely would have been a better friend to myself.” – Scott (16:15)

D. Improved Handling of Meltdowns

• Jordan: Early knowledge may have led to more support during school meltdowns, potentially fewer suspensions.
• “I think that I would have got more support and I wouldn’t have got suspended.” – Jordan (17:07)

E. Rapidly Improving Resources

• The hosts contrast the relative scarcity of information and resources in past decades versus the present, highlighting the explosion of online advocacy and neuroaffirming groups.

4. Cons of Childhood Diagnosis

A. Stigma and Infantilization

• Jordan describes fearing he would have been pigeonholed or pitied in the 80s and 90s:
• “People would have infantilized me… They would have automatically gone to Rain Man in their head and that’s how I would have been judged everywhere I went.” – Jordan (22:23)
• He recounts his negative reputation preceding him, shaped by misunderstanding and gossip—“I don’t think Sylvia would have even given me the time of day if she had known that I was autistic back then.” (25:42)

B. Loss of Autonomy and Identity Shaping

• Scott: Worries an early diagnosis would have led to less autonomy in forging his own identity and fewer opportunities (acting, radio).
• “Would my parents have felt comfortable letting me go (to drama school)? Even more so than… they already did?” – Scott (27:55)
• Risk of becoming overly sheltered: “Would I have been trapped as the person I was when I was diagnosed?”

C. Lowered Expectations and Internalized Ableism

• Both note the fine line between appropriate support and limiting expectations—over-accommodation can hinder personal growth.
• Jordan: “As a parent… would I have been more careful? Would that mentally have affected me?” (30:20)
• Scott: “Would I have just stopped playing football? What would I have stopped doing?” (31:36)

D. Cultural and Historical Context

• The dangers of diagnosis decades ago: institutionalization, ABA, or even less humane outcomes depending on the era and country.
• Listener story: “My parents were advised to stick me in an institution and start their family again.” (46:36)

E. The Strength-from-Adversity Paradox

• Some listeners and Jordan himself recognize that navigating life undiagnosed fosters resilience, but also brings trauma and pain.
• “The pro to getting late diagnosed… is no one coddles you when you’re little and you end up tough as nails survivor. ...but I’ve had a lot of therapy.” – Jordan (48:47, 49:53)

5. Listener Voices – Community Reflections (39:35–46:36)

• Jordan brings in a range of comments from his online community, reflecting diverse experiences.

  • Robbie Prosser: Diagnosis confirmed what he already knew; empowered him to seek his own support. Laments lack of available services.

  • Many report: The main pro is self-understanding, the con is ongoing lack of societal support—even today.

  • “Diagnosed at 60. It has totally changed my life for the better. So I wish I’d known decades ago.”

  • “Con: It can provide a narrative about why life has been so hard and you can embrace an unfortunate mentality… Pro: It can provide a narrative about why life has been so hard and you can forgive yourself and better understand yourself moving forward.” (43:44)

  • Several grapple with the tension between early diagnosis and self-confidence—too early, and it can limit; too late, and you’re “tough,” but carry wounds.

  • Story highlighting historical harm: Parents advised to institutionalize at age 3; “Parenting at the time was pretty much based on ABA principles, that did not turn out great for me.” – Listener (46:36)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On identity and history:
  “It all comes down to how you are neurodivergent, in what decade you were born, and who you are as a person—and also what biological sex you were born as, and where in the world you were born.” – Jordan James (48:47)

• On self-acceptance:
  “As long as you know now, that’s the most important thing, because that’s when the journey begins.” – Jordan James (51:40)

• On self-advocacy:
  “One of the reasons I’ve got so much compassion is because I didn’t always get it when I needed it and I can see what others do.” – Scott (50:21)

Notable Segment Timestamps

• [04:11] – Jordan: On comfort in routine and familiar environments
• [05:23] – Scott: Prompting the “what if” question
• [07:36] – Scott: Pros of early diagnosis (school support/validation)
• [12:04] – Jordan: Family relationships as a pro
• [16:15] – Scott: Self-compassion and empathy
• [17:07] – Jordan: School meltdowns and support
• [22:23] – Jordan: Stigma and infantilization, 80s/90s context
• [25:42] – Jordan: How misconceptions could affect relationships
• [27:55] – Scott: Autonomy and parental caution
• [39:35–46:36] – Listener community: stories and diverse reflections
• [48:47] – Jordan: Past vs. present context; individuality of experience
• [51:40] – Jordan: Closing wisdom on moving forward

Key Takeaways

• The timing and context of a diagnosis—family, societal awareness, decade, culture—profoundly shapes neurodivergent people’s experiences, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
• Early diagnosis can provide crucial understanding, accommodations, and self-compassion; but carries risks of stigma, low expectations, and loss of autonomy if mishandled by society or family.
• Many adults report late diagnosis brings clarity, but lament lost years, regret, or resilience forged through adversity.
• Modern resources, language, and advocacy make early diagnosis far more positive today than in past eras.
• The consensus: What matters most is understanding yourself now and building from wherever you begin.

Final Thoughts & Advice

• Tell children the truth about their neurodivergence, but frame it positively and with support.
• Families are often neurodivergent across generations—embrace and explore it together for mutual understanding.
• There’s no perfect path, but building a self-affirming, supported environment can make all the difference—at any age.