Growing Up (Financially): A Neurodivergent Guide to Money, Growth & Stability

Summary

The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: Growing Up (Financially): A Neurodivergent Guide to Money, Growth & Stability

Hosts: Jordan James & Simon Scott
Date: November 6, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode offers a candid, heartfelt, and often humorous exploration of personal finance as experienced through a neurodivergent lens. Hosts Jordan and Simon share their financial journeys, opening up about struggles with impulsive spending, budgeting mishaps, and the emotional baggage around money. They chart their evolution from “financially inept man-children” to more stable and future-focused adults, while weaving in unique neurodivergent perspectives—touching on everything from ADHD tax, demand avoidance, special interests, and anxiety to the value of independence and financial planning.

Listeners are given a practical yet compassionate guide for money management, the importance of mindset shifts, building systems that work for you, and resisting societal pressures to perform wealth. The episode closes with resources and advice aimed at helping neurodivergent listeners find their own financial footing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Catch-Up & Context ([02:43]–[05:49])

• Hosts' Weekly Update:

  • Simon attended a Turnstile concert: “Got back very late because it was in Manchester... so I've come back and ripping and raring to go.” ([03:57] Simon)
  • Jordan recovering from a persistent flu, excited about an impending family car shuffle.
  • Personal anecdotes anchor the hosts as relatable, ordinary people tackling familiar adult transitions.

• Personal Attachments to Purchases:

  • Jordan shares how his wife, Sylvia, is attached to her first self-bought car, seeding the episode’s theme: purchases as markers of independence and pride.
  • Entering the main topic: “That is basically what we're here to talk about is... our journey through being financially debilitated.” ([05:49] Jordan)

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2. The Neurodivergent Money Struggle: From Impulse to Independence ([06:28]–[14:48])

• ADHD Tax & Special Interests:

  • Both hosts discuss impulsive buying tied to special interests (trainers, golf clubs, holidays):
    • “I like nice things. I like shiny things... golf clubs... I tell myself I would like to. And you know, 400, 500 pound a pop sometimes it's not exactly short change.” ([08:05] Simon)
  • Simon’s milestone: packing his suitcase for holiday with ‘old’ clothes—breaking a lifelong habit of buying new ones for every trip.

• Upbringing and Money Attitudes:

  • Jordan: “From a very young age, I realized that I wanted my own money... I didn't like the idea of depending on them.” ([09:49] Jordan)
  • Both host's family backgrounds shaped anxieties and strategies around spending, saving, and independence.

• Partner Dynamics: Independence vs. Collaboration with Money:

  • Jordan and Sylvia maintain separate accounts; initial tension stemmed from independence, now balanced with input and mutual respect.

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3. Adulting & Budgeting: Managing the Mundane ([14:48]–[24:14])

• Transitioning to Responsible Spending:

  • Simon confessed to damaging FOMO and lack of budget:
    • “It was the fear... if I don't get this thing and it sells out, I'll never get it. So I kind of need to get it now.” ([14:48] Simon)

• Spending Preferences:

  • Jordan: “I want fun, cool things to spend my money on. That's where I always struggled the most.” ([19:47] Jordan)
  • Avoiding “boring adult grown-up stuff”—a common neurodivergent hurdle.

• Consequences of Poor Planning:

  • Surprises like new tires or broken appliances frequently caught both off guard, resulting in overdrafts and shuffling credit cards:
    • “I had a credit card that I must have transferred about five times... I was really bad.” ([19:44] Jordan)

• Don’t Underestimate Demand Avoidance:

  • Both discuss how avoidance and anxiety about money make urgent decisions and mistakes more likely.

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4. Turning it Around: Systems, Safety Nets, and Future-Minded Thinking ([27:32]–[39:40])

• Turning Point in Financial Maturity:

  • Jordan describes how a job upgrade enabled gradually digging out from debt:
    • “Eventually I started getting out of my overdraft. I started paying things off. And, yeah, it took. It took a long time.” ([30:07] Jordan)

• Mindset Shifts: Future Versus Now:

  • “Now I'm like... I can put that in my savings account... always thinking what that money could be for in the future.” ([31:19] Jordan)
  • Simon: “Do things with your money that future you will thank you for.” ([31:48] Simon)

• Daily Money Management Habits:

  • “I check my bank every single day. I know everything that comes out. I am... Scrooge McDuck with me coins.” ([32:23] Simon)
  • Both are almost obsessed with tracking finances in banking apps; it provides comfort and structure.

• Tech Tools & Tricks:

  • Simon explains Monzo budgeting: labeling transactions, assigning budgets, and using 'round up and save' features to automate saving:
    • “It will round it up to 9 pound... times it by five, and put 2 pound 50 into my savings... So it looks like I'm spending more money than I actually am, but a small percentage of it is constantly getting, getting put into my savings.” ([34:57] Simon)

• Business & Tax Deductions:

  • Both topics touch briefly on the realities of self-employment or side hustles and diligently putting aside tax.

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5. Social Comparison & The Myth of Wealth ([39:40]–[53:21])

• The Comparison Trap:

  • Simon recounts learning not to compare himself to flashier peers:
    • “You always assume that people with the big toys have big money and they don't.” ([41:42] Simon)
  • Story: two neighbors, one with visible wealth but hidden debt, a relatable cautionary tale.

• Financial Flex as Internal Reward:

  • Jordan: “What gives me worth is that I can turn around to a 65-year-old person who's still working and still paying rent and go, oh, I'm 52 and I've, you know, paid my mortgage off.” ([47:18] Jordan)
  • Treating financial freedom and security as the goal, rather than status symbols.

• Mortality & Motivation:

  • Jordan reflects on a former manager who died soon after retirement, sparking urgency to plan for health and enjoyment, not just survival:
    • “He retired... had all these plans... a year into retirement, he got aggressive cancer and passed away... I don't want to work until I'm 70 and then die. Like, it really scared me.” ([50:43] Jordan)

• Redefining Identity:

  • “If someone says, oh, what do you do for a living? I say, oh, I'm a photographer and autism advocate. And also I'm a security manager.” ([53:21] Jordan)

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6. Resources, Recommendations, and Practical Advice ([56:05]–[67:46])

• Balance & Boundaries:

  • Jordan: “Work hard, but don't make working the only thing you do... I won't do all the overtime.” ([57:59] Jordan)

• Money as a Game:

  • Simon recommends “The Psychology of Money” by Morgan Housel:
    • “It talks about the importance of being able to sleep correctly and choosing peace over profit... play your game, which is turn your money into a game.” ([61:43] Simon)
  • Idea: Treating savings and financial milestones as rewarding, playful objectives—“my game is, how quickly can I pay my mortgage off?” ([45:29] Jordan)

• Automated Saving and Investing:

  • Embracing tech solutions that make putting money aside easy and reduce executive dysfunction/friction.

• Demand Avoidance & Hyperfocus:

  • Creating systems and routines lessens mental load; using hyperfocus for research and planning helps overcome inertia.

• Impulse Management:

  • “Just put it in the basket and wait. Wait a month, two months, maybe even six months... see how much you really want it.” ([66:52] Jordan)
  • Don’t get tattoos while in the grip of a fleeting hyperfixation ([67:41] Jordan & Simon joke)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Mindset Shift:
  • “Do things with your money. That future you will thank you for.” ([31:48] Simon)
• On Social Comparison:
  • “Comparison’s the killer of joy, man.” ([43:40] Simon)
• On Internal Success:
  • “What gives me worth is that I can turn around to a 65-year-old person who's still working... and go, oh, I'm 52 and... paid my mortgage off.” ([47:18] Jordan)
• On Automating Savings:
  • “If I spend eight pound fifty on a couple of coffees... it'll round up, times it by five, and put 2 pound 50 into my savings.” ([34:57] Simon)
• Life Advice:
  • “The highest form of wealth is the ability to wake up every morning and say, I can do whatever I want today.” ([66:03] Simon, quoting The Psychology of Money)

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Key Timestamps

• Financial Independence & Attachments – [05:49]
• Special Interests & Impulse Buying – [06:28]
• Spending Habits in Relationships – [11:22]
• Budgeting & Avoidance Patterns – [16:01], [19:09], [22:03]
• Turning Point: Mindset Shift & Savings – [27:32], [31:19]
• Automated Budgeting Systems – [32:57], [34:57]
• Making Money a Game – [45:29]
• The Comparison Trap – [39:40], [41:42], [43:40]
• Resources & Practical Advice – [56:05], [61:43], [63:29], [66:03]
• Impulse Management & Final Tips – [66:52], [67:46]

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Resources & Recommendations

• Books:

  • The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
    • Key message: financial independence as the ultimate goal
    • Play your game, make your own luck, save consistently
    • Animated YouTube summary recommended

• YouTube Channels & Tools:

  • British finance YouTuber “Gary Is... finance guy” for practical UK-focused tips
  • Martin Lewis’s app for money-saving advice

• App Recommendations:

  • Monzo (or similar): for dynamic budgeting, labelling spending, automating savings

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Tone & Language

Casual, irreverent, self-deprecating, and deeply empathetic. Both hosts use humor and honesty to discuss their challenges (“financially debilitated... to getting a bit better”; “I want fun, cool things... I don't want to be spending money on boring adult grown up stuff” [19:47]). They are practical without being patronizing, celebrating small wins (“I haven't even used my credit card for over two years now” [20:43]) and validating ongoing struggles.

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For Listeners

This episode is a must for neurodivergent individuals feeling overwhelmed by money management, for those who grew up with unhealthy attitudes around spending and saving, and for anyone seeking a realistic, stigma-busting approach to financial “adulting.” The hosts’ vulnerability, actionable advice, and use of tech and behavioral “hacks” offer both permission and practical strategies—grounded in lived experience and acceptance, not shame.

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End of Summary

Transcript

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[Simon Scott]

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[Jordan James]

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[Jordan James]

Welcome to the neurodivergent Experience Podcast, a podcast where we share the lived experiences of neurodivergent people to help create a better understanding for our community.

[Simon Scott]

Join us every week as we bring you honest, raw and inspiring conversations with specialists, advocates and individuals who know exactly what it's like to live the neurodivergent Experience.

[Jordan James]

I'm Jordan James, a neurodivergent specialist, father of neurodivergent children, husband to a neurodivergent wife and author of the Autistic Experience. And I'm joined by my best friend.

[Simon Scott]

Friend, I'm Simon Scott. I'm an autistic ADHD broadcaster, actor and advocate. Join us as we journey into unraveling the neurodivergent Experience. Hello.

[Jordan James]

Hello and welcome Back to the neurodivergent experience. Scotty, how you doing?

[Simon Scott]

Do you know what, man? I'm good. I've had a crazy busy week with work, but now that's over with. I feel like I've come through the other side and I'm like, ah, the relief. The relief of handing over a big project. And I went to a concert last night and had a great time. You might be able to hear it somewhat in my. My vocals today.

[Jordan James]

Who did you see that I guarantee I haven't heard of?

[Simon Scott]

So I went to see a hardcore punk band called Turnstile.

[Jordan James]

Yes, that again, definitely haven't heard of them.

[Simon Scott]

No, they're very cool. They're very, very good. I think you'd actually really.

[Jordan James]

I remember the Beatles.

[Simon Scott]

I remember when the TV changed into color. Snooker was never the same.

[Jordan James]

You, you, you joke, but when I was growing up, we literally, because my parents were tight, we had a black and white tv. I'm not even joking. For the first few years of my life, the first five or six years of my life, I watched a black and white TV with four channels. That is how old I am.

[Simon Scott]

It's very hipster of you. So, no, yeah, went to that show, had a great, great time, but got back very late because it was in Manchester and obviously I don't live there anymore. So I've come back and ripping and raring to go. How about you, man? How's things with you? What's, what's, what's Cracker lacking?

[Jordan James]

I'm like, probably most people in the country right now, I've got a flu, so I'm kind of getting over it. But it's one of those one where everyone in the house has had it, and it's kind of one of those ones that's sort of in the background, like a little tickly throat, little cough. So it just sounds like you're just being annoying. But it's one of those ones where your eyes are just constantly stinging and tired.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, head cold.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, head. And my. My brain is just fog. It's just absolute fog. But luckily it's clearing. So hopefully I won't be too mentally drained today and I'll actually be able to be somewhat coherent. But, yeah, apart from that, it's. It's the usual. It's just enjoying life and. And I'm. I'm quite excited because I'm gonna get a new car, which it's been a while, six years since I last bought a car, because my son is very close to. To taking his driving test and so my. My beautiful wife Sylvia is selling him her car. And then she'll have my current car, which is better than her current car, and then I'll have. Not a new car. I'd never buy a new car in my life. A new worker. So it's kind of like shift. Everyone shifts. Everyone gets a new car.

[Simon Scott]

You get an upgrade, everyone else gets an upgrade.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, it's basically, hand me down. Yeah, everyone gets a new car. It kind of suits it all perfectly because in that very, very autistic way, Sylvia's like, that's my car. I don't want it to go out of the family. She's like, growing this attachment to this car. That's really, really sweet because it was the first thing that she'd ever purchased for herself and, like, fully paid for by herself with her own money. And she was so proud of that. And that's. That is basically what we're here to talk about is. Is our journey through being financially debilitated.

[Simon Scott]

Inept, in my case.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. To. To getting a bit better. And now in a place where I feel I'm in a place I've never been so good with money, like, so good with money. And I know we've talked about this in the past about, like, the ADHD tax and, you know, special interests and buying too many things, but I. I think you and I have always been relatively sensible with. With what we buy when it comes to our special interest, but we're still. Still buying things that we don't need. And I feel like I've kind of got over that hump of, like, I'm not. I'm not doing that as much. I'm far more sensible. Like, do I actually. I want those trainers, but do I need those trainers? The answer is no. I want that cuddly toy, but do I need that cuddly toy? And the answer is no. So that's why I thought we can do this episode about, like, our journey from the point of irresponsible men child to slightly more responsible men child children.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah. And you sort of like, hit those. Hit a great point in the. I just used to just get so much stuff. Like, I would, you know, covet shoes and I wouldn't just buy one pair of shoes. When I bought a pair of shoes, I'd buy, like, multiple. Like, I'm going away on Friday. I'm going on a little city break to Amsterdam. I'm very excited. I'm going to see Lady Gaga. It's. I'm very, very excited.

[Jordan James]

I've Never heard of that. That.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, check her out. She's a great up and coming artist. She's. She's really good. I think you might be your back. You might hear of her in a few years time.

[Jordan James]

No, that's.

[Simon Scott]

That.

[Jordan James]

That's someone I have heard of.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, good. I'm not bad. Thank you. I think she's on radio for. But I. This is the first time I've ever gone away on holiday and I've not bought new clothes. Like, I am always somebody who will buy new outfits for holidays and stuff because I'm like, I'm gonna do a little catwalk of around strangers who've never seen me. And this is the first time that I'm putting clothes that are a year two years old in a suitcase when I go away. And that is a big, big step for me. Like, I am somebody who. I have expensive taste, Jordan. I really do. I like nice things. I like shiny things with golf clubs. Like, there's new ones that come out every year. I never buy them, but I tell myself I would like to. And you know, 400, 500 pound a pop sometimes it's not exactly short change. Exactly, exactly.

[Jordan James]

Because I'm sitting here in my Primark T shirt and my Primark jogging bottoms and my TK Max cuddly to.

[Simon Scott]

I've got my gymshark top on. That was like a tenor, but in the past, dude, you know, if we're talking about from, like, how did, how did we get here? The amount of times, dude, I was at uni and I would get like your student allowance, I guess it's like you'd pay for your student halls and whatever money was left is what you had. I can count multiple times, dude. I was on nights out and I was like, I've got like 300 quid in the bank and I check it and I go, why is there a dash in the front of it? And it's because I'm in my overdraft. And I did that multiple, multiple times. Like, there was so many times I've been on nights out and I've gone to buy a drink and it's gone and I have spent. Spent all my cash.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, when? When? I mean, I say when I was younger, I. I've always been someone that. That worked. Like, ever since I was nine years old, I did a paper round and I did like egg packing at a local farm. I used to wash cars, mow lawns. Like, I mean, I grew up on a private estate and it's not like my family Were poor. But I. From a very young age, I realized that I wanted my own money. I didn't want to depend on my parents to buy me the things I wanted. Mostly because I didn't even want to talk to them and ask them. Yeah. Them buying me things involved me having to communicate with the people that I didn't particularly like very much. So I was like, I'm going to have my own money and then no one can tell me what. What to spend my money on. And I've. I've always had that attitude. And when Sylvie and I first got together, there's, there's this expectation with couples, especially when you get married, that you have a joint account. Now, I don't. I have you got a joint account.

[Simon Scott]

So we have a joint account. The, the mortgage comes out of. All of our bills come out of like petrol for the car and things like that. But we have our own.

[Jordan James]

Oh, that's just called my account. Everything comes out of my account.

[Simon Scott]

Right. Okay.

[Jordan James]

I just pay for everything. But Sylvia does pay for bills. I'm just joking. But the majority of it. But I think because I earn more, it just. That's how it works. Yeah, but if she earned more, then it would be the other way around. It really doesn't make any difference. But. But the fact is we, we have our own money.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And it's always been like that. We've never had a joint account. We've always had our own money. That. Our own independence. And very, very early on she would tell me why should and shouldn't buy. And that was kind of the only real arguments we ever really had at the beginning of our relationship. Because I would never tell her in my life what she should and shouldn't buy or. Oh, maybe you should. I just. But because she worries. It was never a control thing for her. It was never like she. What she, she wanted to make sure that I spent the money I earned on her or anything like that. She's very, very frugal. She is not high maintenance. I'm high maintenance. I'm a freaking diva. Well, at least I was.

[Simon Scott]

That.

[Jordan James]

That's. I learned from her how to be better with money. Yeah, but it was, it was the fact that I think because she's so frugal, because she's so low maintenance, because she grew up poor. Like, poor poor like Soviet Union, Communist Poland in the early 80s poor. She. She is like, money is very important. Whereas I didn't grow up poor. I grew up not rich, but very high end of middle class, comfortable. You Know, I might not have had the love and attention that I wanted, but I never went without. I had lots of toys and I had. Lots of. I had everything I wanted. My dad always bought me whatever I wanted, but I. I didn't like the idea of depending on them for it because especially with Rainier, especially with my. My birth mother, she'd hold it over my head. Anything she bought me, she'd remind me of it. And I was like, no, I. I need to get my own money.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, which is why, isn't it?

[Jordan James]

Yeah, which is why I always. Always worked. So when I have this thing, it's like, if I work, that's my money. You. You don't get to tell me what to do with my money. No one. No one can tell me what to do with my money. So, trying to get used to the fact that Sylvia should be allowed to have some input to what we do with the main amount of money that we have. And she was only ever trying to help because, you know, it's 50. 50. You know, I'm not in charge. That's not how that works. We're 50, 50. But it was very difficult for me to. To feel like it was okay for her to have some input. I was very much like, this is my money. How dare you tell me what to spend it on as I'm literally going out and buying, like, 70 cuddly toys that I don't need and. And just. Just trying to get you. Because I wasn't good. I was really, really bad. But I. I always. I never, ever put us into, to, like, financial terror. Like. Like, we were never worried. Like, we. We always had enough. But it was like. I think the worst thing for me, how I was, was I. I was really bad at spending money on. On the rest of the family. So I. I would take the kids out for days out, and I would pay for everything, and I would. But when it comes to, like, oh, the kids need some new trainers, and I was like, oh, the kids. The kids need some new clothes.

[Simon Scott]

Hey, I'm especially. I'm guilty of that now. Like, when we have things in the house and Caris goes, oh, we need this. I go, do we? And I can be a dick about it. I can really sort of. Because I've got anxiety about money, a lot of anxiety. I can be really hard to convince to spend money now. But I'm interested to know one of the things that I struggled with. It wasn't necessarily going without or it was the fear. It was like a FOMO thing. Of, well, if I don't get this thing and it sells out, I'll never get it. So I kind of need to get it now. And I used to do that with like concerts was the big thing that I used to spend a lot of money on and it was, it was fomo. It was the fear of not getting to do something or experiencing something because of money and just not being very good at keeping track of what I was actually spending. Like, I just wouldn't check my bank account for like a month. And then you'd look at it and go, oh, shit. Spent way too much money and didn't have a budget at all. So I'm intrigued. Like, did you have like budgeting or were you just sort of like, I can't not have that thing because that's what I used to be like.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, I mean it's, it's very, very different for me obviously, because I had kids. So yeah, like I, I had to, I didn't. I always did prioritize my kids. I want to make that very clear. I wasn't a selfish father. I was very, I was always happy for my love. Yeah, I, I've said I was always happy. I wasn't happy to spend money on my kids, but I, I really did enjoy spoiling them. Yeah, it was, it was when I, and it's definitely demand avoidance. It was when I wanted to buy my kids things and I wanted to treat them, no issues whatsoever and I would treat them and spoil them all the time, as much as I possibly could within a budget. So back then it was, you know, charity shops. If I got the new Nintendo Wii, but I got it chipped, so I got loads of really cheap games. So they had all the games, but they were like, oh, and I used to make my, I used to burn my own games and it's, that's. None of that's true. If anyone. Yeah. Hypothetically. You can't prove nothing, governor. Well, when you, when, when you're, when you're struggling, you're struggling, you still want to give your kids nice things.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

But like, oh God, car boot sales were, were my like freaking favorite thing. Like that was, that was what we got for the kids. So Christmas, birthdays, anything like that was, was charity shops, car boot sales, anything. Any way I could be frugal and save money. I was, I, But I would, I would still overspend. Like, I would still spend too much. But it was when I had to buy things. Like nowadays it's like, oh yeah, 500 pound for the latest console. It's like, oh, my God, that's so much money. But, but then someone goes, oh, it's £700 to fix your car. And you're just like, oh, oh, I've.

[Simon Scott]

Got an MOT tomorrow. I'm dreading it.

[Jordan James]

In case my MOT and service, I had to have new brake pads fitted, something wrong with my suspension. And all in all, literally, it was 700 quid and that. But the thing is, is that I, I put money aside every month during the year just for my car. Like it's the car savings account, so that's what it's for. So when that came out, yes, it was a big deal. Yes, it was a little bit more than I was expecting.

[Simon Scott]

And it still hurts.

[Jordan James]

It still hurts. I'm still like, ouch. But because I'm sensible enough that I've been putting that money aside, it doesn't affect me financially because that's what that money is for. As long as something else doesn't go wrong, tomorrow I can start building that back up again. Because it's not like there's, there's. It was like just about that in there. Oh, that was, that's exactly.

[Simon Scott]

Lucky me. Yeah.

[Jordan James]

You know, I, I'm, I'm just so much more sensible with putting money away. But we can talk about that in the second half. But in, in, in as far as, like back then, something like just getting new tires would always be like a surprise for me. I would never prepare for these things.

[Simon Scott]

Right. It's the surprises, it's the nasty surprises that you always used to really kill me.

[Jordan James]

I'm a car owner. I know that I have to get new tires at least once a year. Why am I not saving for that? Why is that always something that I'm like, oh, crap, I forgot about that. That's where I was. I had a problem that it, it wasn't spending money on the things that made me happy, it was spending the money on just life in general, you know, like, oh, we need a new oven, oh, we need a new Hoover, but we need a new tv.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan James]

And it's purely the fact that I'm literally a fricking kid. I'm just a kid and I don't want to be spending my money on boring adult grown up stuff. I want fun, cool things to spend my money on. That. That's where I always struggled the most. And I was never prepared for anything to break. So I was always getting myself into problems, going into my overdraft or having to take out loans or Credit cards. And. Oh, going from one credit card. No, the 0% finance on that is run out, and we've got to transfer it to another. I had a credit card that I must have transferred about five times because I just kept putting off. Putting it off, putting it off, putting it off. Yeah. And that's one of the things I'm most proud of now, is that I'm not only credit card free for two years, but I haven't even used my credit card for over two years now.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah. And that's. And that's brilliant. That's where you know you want to be. And I totally agree with you. This is where I was struggling is I had no sort of safety nets. I had no buffers, and I just sort of would get really out of control with it. I'm okay with numbers, but numbers isn't my language. And I'm so forgetful about things and that I'd be like, oh, I don't need a new pair of shoes. I bought a new pair of shoes like, a year ago. And then I go, oh, wait, maybe I do need shoes. And I overcompensate in that. I'd be like, oh, I've not had a coat in ages. I need a new coat for this year, and I won't get one. I'd get, like, three. And I would almost, like, try and overcompensate for the fact that I hadn't spent money, and then I would spend more money than I would have. And I was never in this period of getting into the green. It's like, as soon as I would get to the green, I'd get back in the red. It's like I was never above zero. I was just always in and out of my overdraft.

[Jordan James]

Can I ask a quick question? Is when. When you say that you wouldn't buy anything for ages, and then suddenly you'd buy, like, two or three or four. Whatever was a little bit of that of like, oh, because you was looking for a new jacket or a new pair of trainers because you saw, like, three or four that you actually liked and couldn't make the decision to decide to buy all of them?

[Simon Scott]

Yep.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. Because I've. I've had that where I've been stuck, and I'm like, oh, I don't know which one I want. And then I'm like, oh, I'll just buy them all.

[Simon Scott]

The amount of trainers I've got in multiple colors, dude. Because I was like, but I like them in blue and I like them in gray.

[Jordan James]

I Literally got, yeah, three pairs of Tatum threes. And I'd have more pairs of Tatum threes if it was up to Sylvia, but they're all in three different colorways. But I think I'd have, like, five pairs if it wasn't. If it wasn't for the fact that I. It's Sylvia. She. It's. It's like, she's super frugal, she's super freaking good with money, and then suddenly when it comes to trainers, she completely loses her mind. Just completely.

[Simon Scott]

But that's the thing that I find difficult with. With my own partner, Caris, is that once I get permission for something, dude, I need raining in.

[Jordan James]

Like, yeah.

[Simon Scott]

She was saying to me, she was like, oh, let's have a look at a TV for the new thing. And I was like, this TV's gonna blow your tits off. It's the best. And it's like, why are you looking at, like, something that's so expensive? The TV's more expensive than the entire decorating of the room. And my instant response was, I thought you wanted a new tv. Like, yeah, I want a new tv, but not, like, the best possible thing that we could afford.

[Jordan James]

Rubbish. If it's the best. If it's a tv, get the best one.

[Simon Scott]

But that's where I'm sort of at with it. But I get where she comes from.

[Jordan James]

But, yeah, I. I know that I do what you do, and that's You. You start justifying why you're spending it.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And you go, well, if I get a new tv, but it really the best one, then we. We. We won't go out as much. We won't spend money going to the cinema. We'll get more entertainment. So really, in the long run, it will save us money.

[Simon Scott]

Yes, we do think exactly the same. Yeah.

[Jordan James]

Yeah.

[Simon Scott]

Because I was having all of this reasoning, and then she was like, yeah, but if you buy that, then we can't afford this. And in my brain, I'm going, maybe we could. And that's where. That's where the dangerous things happen.

[Jordan James]

That's when you're on the street corner being like, hey, baby.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, like Les Mis. Yeah, that. Yeah. That's the thing is that need. I need raining in sometimes. But there are things that I am a lot better at. So let's take a little break, and when we get back, we'll talk about how we turn it all around with our frugal times.

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[Simon Scott]

This is a neurodivergent Experience Public announcement if you live in England and you or a loved one is waiting for an autism or ADHD assessment, you don't have to wait years. RTN Diagnostics is now part of the NHS Right to Choose scheme, which means if your local wait for a consultant led autism or ADHD assessment is more than 18 weeks, you can choose RTN instead and it won't cost you a penny. Jordan chose RTN for his own family because their care and attention to detail was second to none. They didn't just diagnose autism and adhd, they looked at the full picture, including pda, ocd, anxiety and more. The team is friendly, neuroaffirming and comprises many neurodivergent individuals so they truly understand getting started is simple. Download the GP referral letter and questionnaire from the link in our show notes. Take those to your GP and ask for a referral to RTN Diagnostics. If approved, RTN will be in touch within eight weeks to begin your assessment. Remember, this only applies in England and some exclusions do apply. RTN is not currently able to accept referrals for child ADHD assessments, so check the details before you start RTN Diagnostics, helping you get the answers you deserve without the wait. Welcome back to the neurodivergent Experience. Money, money, money. It's so funny. Yeah, so we've, we've been Discussing finances, money, things that we've, we've not necessarily been good at, but we got better. And how did that happen for you, Jordan? Because it took a little while for me, but I'm definitely there now.

[Jordan James]

The, the. When I got start again, the current job I have, I've had for coming up to 18 years. And it was, it was before that job because that was when I actually started getting half decent money. It wasn't great. It's still security money. It was, it was more than I had. I think I, I was on like £7 an hour and I went up to £11 an hour from the. Yeah, so for me it was like a big thing, but because we had struggled so much, not only because I was in not particularly great with money, but just because, you know, life when you've got young kids and uniforms and their, their feet keep getting bigger, how.

[Simon Scott]

Dare they, how dare they grow, bust.

[Jordan James]

How dare they grow. They, they should have just. I mean Pennywise could have done me a massive favor but like go and play in the drain over there. But yeah, kids, kids are kids and they're expensive and when they're younger they are very expensive because, you know, school trips and uniforms and all this stuff. And I was in not a lot of debt. I mean a lot of debt I would consider nowadays was probably like £30,000 or something like that. But we were in at least like five or six thousand pounds debt. And I was well into my overdraft and we had the loans and all this stuff. I had so much money coming out of my account and every single month it more would come out than would come in. And I was. And when I first started this job, when I first started this job, this is the first, the first time I got paid, I was like, oh my God, I've actually got the, the right amount. But when it all came out, I was still in my overdraft because of the things I talk about like, you know, new tires or, you know, I need to go the dentist or, you know, the, the kids, you know, I don't want them to miss out and they wanted for a little trip or, you know, to the Natural History Museum, all these things, real things, this really happened. And because I never ever wanted my kids to want for anything like I did, that was a big thing for me and we would always have days out. So I one year went crazy. And to think that I spent this money. Now I'm like, that's nothing. But then I spent £190 on a Merlin family ticket if only there were that much now, it'd be like a.

[Simon Scott]

Kids pass for a day.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, but. But it was for a whole year. And it was like the most amazing thing that I'd ever bought. And then, you know, we took our kids to all the attractions, all the Merlin attractions, and it was amazing. It was like such an amazing thing. But that was a huge amount of money for me to spend in one go at the time. And just everything was budgeted, everything was crazy. But that job. Eventually I started getting out of my overdraft. I started paying things off. And, yeah, it took. It took a long time. It really did. I've been there for 18 years, and I think it's only in the last six, seven years that I've been like, oh, actually, now I have some money left over. Like, it took ages. Not just to get out of the debt and stuff, but just to sort of. When you have money in your account and you're like, basically just a child, and you go, oh, I've got like £400 at the end of the month.

[Simon Scott]

What.

[Jordan James]

What could cost me £400? How will I spend that money? So my whole thing was, I don't really care about the future. How can I spend that money? So I buy my kids things, I'd buy Sylvia things I would want to do there.

[Simon Scott]

I might as well use it.

[Jordan James]

That exact thing is there. I might as well use it. Whereas now, Now I'm like, oh, it's there. Oh, I can put that in my savings account. Oh, that can go towards, like, future of the car or maybe paying off the mortgage. I'm always thinking what that money could be for in the future. Whereas I never, ever felt that way. So the big, big change for me was literally starting to think about my future and being financially responsible for my future.

[Simon Scott]

Do you know what you've hit? The sort of similar sort of thinking that I came to which was, you know, do things with your money. That future you will thank you for. Like, if I'm gonna go for my MOT and suddenly I need two new tires tomorrow, I need to make sure that me three months ago looked out for me today. And that's something that's really, really helped me in that I check my bank every single day. I know everything that comes out. I am like, again, Scrooge McDuck with me coins. I know everything that leaves now.

[Jordan James]

I love that I am the same. I'm. I'm on my banking app at least four times a day, and it will say the same thing, but for Some reason. And, and every time something comes out of my account, I, I will go through how much is still left, like direct debits or like unexpected payments possible. And I'm like, okay. And I could have done that the day before and it could have been like 16 pounds came out for Netflix or something like that. And, and I'll be like, okay, well how much money will I have after all my other bills? And I'm like, I'd worked this out yesterday so just -16 but for some reason I just deep dive into it. And yeah, and it's kind of obsessive.

[Simon Scott]

But Mate says to me all the time I'm checking my phone, she's going, it's still there. Yeah, it's not gone, it's still there.

[Jordan James]

He said to my son, how many times do you check your banking out? He's like, oh no, once a week maybe.

[Simon Scott]

I'm like, oh, oh, I'll work on that. That's, that's, that's the best place to start is know exactly what money you've got and when. But I've gone through my bank, I'm, I use Monzo. Other banking apps are available, but one of the reasons as to why I like this particular one is you can label every purchase. You can say that was eating out, that was transport, that was a gift, that was personal health. And I essentially go into my banking and create a target and have all of these things come in so that when it goes, oh, you've had a takeaway Today, that was 30 pounds, you've got 220 pounds left of your overall eaten out budget this month, left to spend. And it has notifications when you get down to the last bit that goes. Just letting you know this is likely going to be your last purchase of this kind this month. And one of the things that I really like about like modern banking apps is I have this specific thing on mine which is like a great trick in the. If I spend eight pound fifty on a couple of coffees and a cake, if I'm lucky for that price, what it will do is it will tell, it will work out the change difference up to the nearest pound. So if it's 8 pound 50 it will go right, will round it up to 9 pound. But I've put a multiplier on it that times it by five, so it'll take 50p, times it by five and put 2 pound 50 into my savings. But in my bank it will, it won't say that the coffee cost 8 pound 50, it'll say it cost 11 pound. So at the end of the month it will go, you've spent X amount of money, but 300 pound of it is actually savings.

[GrowTherapy Advertiser]

Oh.

[Simon Scott]

So it looks like I'm spending more money than I actually am, but a small percentage of it is constantly getting, getting put into my savings. And I also have a different multiplier that puts savings into a stocks and shares isa. So I'm investing my change and that has really helped with like growing money out of my own money. It's like I'm not spending it, I'm spending money and making money from the money that I would be spending. So it almost like adds up without me having to do it. And that's been like a big thing for like demand avoidance and sort of looking out for myself is at the end of the month I go, oh, I've spent X amount a month. And I desperately always try to spend less than I make. Now that's a big, big game changer. It's like if I don't have like twice of it in my account, I won't have it. It's like if I want a tattoo that's going to be £300 and I've only got £500 in my savings, I won't buy it because it's going to ate up over half of my certain amount of money. So I've sort of given myself like these little tricks and rules where I think I spend more money than I do. And then at the end of the month I go, oh, Look, I've got £300 saved without actually physically going, I'm gonna take that off there and take that off there and take that off there. Because then it becomes like a chore and a demand avoidance. But if I've set up these little rules where it does it for me, it goes, you've spent so much this month. And I go, that's the number that I was expecting. It goes, ahaha. But 15 of it's gone into your savings. Oh. So I've spent less, I've saved more. But my brain thinks that I'm spending what it thinks I'm spending. So at no point am I like feel like I'm cheating myself or getting fomo so that when like things go up like this, this, this trip that I've got on Friday, it's between Caris's paydays. So I know that I can cover it because last month I had all of these little hidden things that sort of move and shake my money around. That has been a Game changer for me because I don't feel like I'm forcibly going, well, I've got to put a hundred pounds in there and £100 in there, which I do because I'm a self employed person. I have to do it for like my tax and, and my pension and things like that. I have to do that myself, which is annoying. Yeah.

[Jordan James]

This is the only part of being like having like any side hustle is like when I sell my photography, it's like, oh, oh, I got that much from my photography.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, yeah, 20 of it in it.

[Jordan James]

And now I have to put the money aside because I've got like a separate account just where I put the money for my tax thing. Because at the end of the year I'm gonna have to pay my tax. So I don't want to get to the point where I'm like, oh, you owe this much tax. And then suddenly I'm like, oh, I've got to take that out of my savings.

[Simon Scott]

First year I was a freelancer, dude, I got ruined with that. I was about a grand short.

[Jordan James]

So I literally, for everything I earn, I put 30% of it away in a completely different account and go. And that's, that's for the tax.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah. And this is all like really sort of good. This is genuinely the thing that's really helped me is just sort of autistic people creating systems. Who knew? But this is what has happened is I've created a system that works for me. It keeps me within the parameters and I move and shake all my things around. And as I've gotten better with that, because I've been doing this for like a couple of years now, the things that sort of really screw my life up on my extreme anxieties, you know, this is my bro. I catastrophize like you wouldn't believe. Like, I'm driving down the road and I go, what if my brakes fail? Like, that's just how my brain works. So one of the things that I'm always scared about is, and I don't think this will happen, but I'm like, what if I lose my job tomorrow? What if Caris and I both wake up tomorrow, we both get an email, you've both lost your jobs. What do we do? And with all of this sort of like saving and stuff, I've managed to build up safety nets. So like, between us as a couple, we've got a certain amount of months worth of the mortgage, the bills and the car aside, so that if both of us literally lost our jobs tomorrow. We know we've got a month or two to find a job.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, I've, I've got as well, I've got like this thing where I can't go below a certain amount in my savings. It's like there's always going to be a certain amount in my savings and that's everything above that is, is things I can spend but I will never ever drop below a certain amount because of especially what happened to me, you know, a couple of months ago with, with where my back went. I missed out on six shifts. That's like a lot of money and I wasn't prepared for that, but I was prepared for that which, you know, and that's my mortgage.

[Simon Scott]

The thing is bro, is if like you'd, you didn't have your safety buffers if something like that unexpected happens to you and you lose a four figure sum that could take you six months to get back. Like little things like that could, could affect the rest of your year if you're not careful. And, and one of the things that I really want to touch on which has been a game changer for me and I, and it's so sort of simple to say but it's, it's like I know you landed on your feet but you've not seen the real work that I've put in on this is not caring what other people think I've got because I assumed that people that wore labels and drove big cars and had big houses had a lot of money. They don't. They don't.

[Jordan James]

Well like footballers do.

[Simon Scott]

Footballers do. But like I and I will talk about this in sort of things that we recommend and I got this from a book that I'll talk about shortly but I remember seeing this, this diagram and it was two houses on a street and one of the houses has a Ferrari outside and there's a girl who's getting in the Ferrari who's got big high heels on and her hair has been done and she's wearing like a Gucci coat and on the other side is a guy who's getting in a 10 year old car and is wearing two 3 year old clothes. But they live on the same street, they live next door to each other and in the, the frame underneath it pushes the houses back and the house with the Ferrari and the, the glammed up girl is full of receipts and, and debt whereas the one that's pushed back with the car that's owned and the guy who has not got a credit card or anything like you Push his house back and it's full of coins because he's saving his money, not floating debt. And that was a big game changer for me because I used to live in an apartment next to a guy who was like, oh, I actually own multiple apartments and this is the one that I have and I drive an M3 and I'm also the same age as you. Oh, and dude, he got in my head like I was like my self worth felt crap when I started talking to this neighbor and I realized how much of it was sort of fluff. Like he kept changing his car constantly and I was like, oh, look at him buying cars constantly, all the time. It wasn't. He kept having to give them back. And when I sort of realized that your worth is just what you, what you have and what you choose to do your money with. I mean I live on a street where we all sort of have the similar sort of houses. There's people with Range Rovers and there's people with, with courses that have got 10 year old plates. You always assume that people with the big toys have big money and they don't. I know loads of people that have two BMWs on the drive and stuff who are absolutely crippled in debt and are one bad day away from having them repossessed.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, it's interesting you should say that because Sylvan, I were out walking the dogs and this couple in this Range Rover, very new, smart looking Range Rover pulled up and asked directions and you could see like they're all glammed up and stuff like that and, and getting directions. They drove on and so he's like, oh wow, they're so posh. And I was like, that's the perception and that's what they want you to think. Like they were going to a skate park with their child. I'm like, why did you get glammed up and look like you were going to like, like an event to go to the skate park with your kid? It's because you want to give off that impression that you are worth something. And that's fine if like that's their journey. And I don't, I don't mock it. I don't like, I'm not gonna have a go at them. I'm like, if that makes you feel good, that makes you feel good. But don't, don't let it make Sylvia, I said Sylvia, don't let that make you feel bad because you don't get glammed up and drive around in a Range Rover. They probably can't Afford.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, comparison's the killer of joy, man.

[Jordan James]

And I'm like, if they want to do that, that's, that's cool. Like, I would never say don't do, you know, that's their journey, like I said. But don't feel, don't you feel bad because we're very sensible with our money because we buy sensible clothes or we buy clothes from Vinted, which are still very nice clothes but, you know, don't cost like ridiculous amounts of money. It's just being sensible. You can have all the nice things, but there's ways of going about it that are really sensible. Who knows, maybe they did. But I mean, who gets dressed up to go to a skate park? It's just kind of like an odd thing.

[Simon Scott]

Like we, I, I've had this phrase growing up. I don't know whether it's a northern thing or what, but we always used to sort of joke like, fur coat, no knickers. It's like all your money went on the coat. Said this before. And I, you know, like, it's weird. It's like I, I feel quite sort of secure in myself and with my money and stuff. And don't get me wrong, I've had the same car for five years, but it's paid off, it's mine. And I, I, yeah, Yeah. I know 90 of people that could go to a garage right now and buy a Porsche, but they'd have to give it back in two weeks, like, or it gets scratched and you pay three grand to get it fixed and things like that.

[Jordan James]

I was looking at, I'm like, oh, if I didn't, like, you know, try and pay my mortgage off a bit overpay, or if I didn't have these plans for the future, if I didn't have my plans of pay my mortgage off and then moving to Pembrokeshire, which I've discussed, and I've got all my plans of what I want to do in my life if I didn't have those plans and I was like, oh, I'll just stay at my job forever and I'll just stay here and blah, blah, blah, blah. Then I could be like, oh, I'll go and buy that Audi TT that I wanted and be an absolute asshole on the road.

[Simon Scott]

But that, that's part of the rules, isn't it?

[Jordan James]

That is gone like that, that disappeared like three or four years ago, where I just suddenly grew up, I guess in, in that way of like, I'm gonna think about my future. So my hyper focus isn't about how Cool. I can be. Or what car I can get or what clothes I can wear. It's about, oh, I know that there's a cottage in Pembrokeshire that I'm, I'm going with your name on it. With my name on it. I, yeah. And it's, it's going to be near 10B and it's gonna like that's my vision, that's my focus. So every time I put money away that, and I'm slowly paying the mortgage off a little bit more, a little bit more, it becomes a game. So I love video games and this, this to me it's like a, it's like a video game. So in, in that redemption, I'm weird. I like saving all my money and I like having loads of money in Red Dead Redemption just to see how much money I can get. And I'm like, what, I'm saving money in a video game now for.

[Simon Scott]

The interest rates are good.

[Jordan James]

Now I can get any goddamn hell balls in the bank.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, that's funny.

[Jordan James]

I'm gonna buy myself a new horse. Yeehaw.

[Simon Scott]

Yeehaw. I might get myself.

[Jordan James]

I get the fastest horse. But yeah, even in games I'm weirdly frugal. But it's just that, that mindset change that it's like, well now it's kind of like a game. It's like how quickly can I pay my mortgage off? That's my game. Like how, how young can I be where I can turn around and go, I'm mortgage free because for all the things that are reflects like oh, here's my, you know, Range Rover BMW or here's my Gucci suit.

[Simon Scott]

Armani darling.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, Armani shoes and whatever people want to like, that's fine. If that's, if that's what gives you worth. You crack on. What gives me worth is that I can turn around to a 65 year old person who's still working and still paying rent and go oh, I'm 52 and I've, you know, pay my mortgage off because I'm, that's eight years like.

[Simon Scott]

And now I'm doing what I want with the time I've got.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, I'm 52 and I'm semi retired because that, but I mean that it's not, I'm not a person that goes around flexing like that. No person that goes flexing going. By the way, I've got a published book and a really successful podcast.

[Simon Scott]

This is available on Amazon. If you want to help him pay off his money.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, yeah, right. If I made Money doing this. I wouldn't bubble working. Yeah. I Keep telling people, 40, 48 hours.

[Simon Scott]

A week, oh, you must make loads of money doing it. I'm like, no, no, I wish I did, but I don't know, I just.

[Jordan James]

Do it for love. We, we do this because we love it. I make my money from my job. That's why I have it. But yeah, so that's. That, that for me is the flex. But it's, it's not a flex for other people. It's a flex for me to think that I, I've seen all these people who I, I thought, oh, you've got loads of money. You've got like, you go on all these really nice holidays and, and, and, and you do all these really nice things. And then I was like, oh, that's the kind of life I want to live. And I was thinking, if I live that life, then I'm going to be working well into my fricking 70s at this rate. And I, and I, I'm, I'd love to do this. I can do this in my 70s, I, I can do photography, but I could not work in the job that I do now as a security manager in, in my 60s and 70s. It would kill me doing nights because I have to work nights. Doing nights in my 60s kill me, dude. It's killing me at the moment. It's hard enough now in my 40s and I've, I've seen people in my work keep. They keep working, they keep working, they keep working, they keep getting sicker and sicker and sicker. And, and this, this is the thing that really, really switched me. And this is quite sad. This is very morbid and it's very, very sad. But the thing that really switched me from being, oh, okay, I really need to look after my future. I really, I, I need, I need to pay off my mortgage and I need, I need to get a better, like, mental health perspective on life. Is my old manager, in fact, I, I got promoted while he was in charge of me and he actually helped me get promoted. A really, really lovely guy. Ex, ex military, really lovely guy. He retired and he had all these plans, but he was nearly 70, like just shy of 70 by the time he retired because he was being sensible, he was putting all his money away, but he was going on a lot of cruises, so he kept working to pay for all these cruises, keep up with his lifestyle, and he didn't need to work. And he was only working because he kept going on all these cruises, all these expensive holidays. And he'd always have the best things. You know, he had all these plans and a year into retirement, he got aggressive cancer and passed away like. Like that. And I was thinking, I don't want to work until I'm 70 and then die. Like, it really scared me.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah. I said this to my dad. I was like, if you keep working until. Because he's choosing to retire this year. And he was like, if I keep working and I work until I'm 65, what is the percentage of my health being good after that? And I was like, your time is now. If you want to go on holidays and you want to drive your motorhome around the country and play golf courses, you've always wanted to play and go abroad and stuff like that. With my mum. Time to do it is why you've got the body and the mind to do it. Don't leave it until it's too late. Because, like, what if you retire at 65 and then suddenly you get mobility issues? All these things that you wanted to do are off the table that you've been working towards. So what, what, what. What's more important to you? Having things or having, you know, quality time with good health and. And energy? And that was a bit of a turning point for him. He was like, you know, there's a guy that he used to work with who was a little bit younger than him who literally dropped dead in his driveway with a heart attack. My dad was like, that could have been me. What's the point of doing all of this work if I'm never even gonna see the, you know, actually enjoy my time and. And have my time. He's worked since he was, like, 13. They left school so young. And I was like, you've done it. You've done what you need to do. You've got enough. You are enough. You have enough. Just step away. And I'm really pleased that he's doing it because I was worried that he just never. It would just keep going and just never, never stop.

[Jordan James]

I definitely think there is that mindset for. For a lot of people who have worked, a certain generation where they look at and go, well, if I retired, I'd probably just fade away. And it's a thing, you know, there's so many, especially with men when they've just worked work. So their entire life is about their work and their job and the status and the identity that your job is. Whereas that's the cool thing about doing all of the other things that I've been doing is that I Put if someone says, oh, what do you do for a living? I say, oh, I'm a photographer and autism advocate. And also I'm a security manager.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

Because security manager is how I earn money. It's my job. But if I was to define myself as what I am and, and what makes me proud and what I enjoy is, is all the things that I do on top of that, you know, and all the success that I've had on top of that. Because my job is just my job. I don't put any stock into it. If I left tomorrow, I'd be like, well, that's just, just I'm gone. Bye, bye. But if this ended tomorrow, I'll be devastated. If I didn't do photography, I'd be mentally, you know, broken. That's the things I care about and that's the good thing. Like when I Semi retire in eight to 10 years, I won't be like, oh, I can't go to work today because I'll be like, I am going to go to work by do, but I'm going to do the things that I really love.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah. And I'll tell you what, bro, I've been to a couple of funerals in the last few years of people in the 70s and 80s and at no point does anybody ever go, oh, and they worked at this job for 50 years and they worked really hard. They never, they never talk about what you did for a living. They talk about what, what you did as a human.

[Jordan James]

Judged on your character, not on your bank account.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Because do you know what, bro? You can't take it with you. So let's have a little break. And on the back of this we'll give a couple of resources, give some tips and tricks. So stay with us. We'll be right back.

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[Simon Scott]

Have you ever felt stuck in patterns that don't serve you, struggled with stress, or wanted to connect more deeply with yourself? Then I have to to introduce you to a friend of the podcast Ashley Bentley of Integrated Coaching, Breathwork and Hypnotherapy. Ashley is a highly experienced clinical hypnotherapist and coach specializing in working with neurodivergent minds. Through a unique blend of integrative coaching, breath work and hypnotherapy, Ashley helps people rewire subconscious patterns, regulate their nervous systems, step into more empowered versions of themselves. Whether you're dealing with addiction, anxiety, burnout, or struggles with self acceptance, Ashley offers practical and science backed tools tailored just for you. Her unique methods combine neuroscience, storytelling, subconscious transformation to create real, lasting change. Jordan and I can personally attest to the profound and transformative effects of her sessions which have been life changing. She does all of these sessions online, meaning she can work with you no matter where you are in the world. If you're ready to break free from old patterns and start living with more clarity, confidence and connection, go to Bit ly ashleynde to book a free consultation or learn more. Welcome back to the Neurodivergent Experience. We've been talking change, a little bit of cash, a little bit of money and just sort of how as neurodivergent people we've figured out being better with finances because we weren't very good in the first place. So I have got one sort of resource that I use Jordan and I actually go back to quite a lot, but I'm quite interested to see if there's anything that you could share with the listener other than obviously our experiences just as a bit of a resource that's maybe helped you.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, don't, don't rely on others to make things happen for you. Don't, don't sit around going oh well maybe this will happen or maybe that will happen, or maybe I can do scrap cards and win the lottery or whatever like that. If you want to get in a good financial situation, if you want to do well, in life, work hard, but don't make working the only thing you do because, yeah, I work hard, but I will also make sure that I have enough time to enjoy myself. So there's like loads of overtime that I could technically do and I could pay my mortgage off even quicker for my mental health. I, I won't do it. I won't do all the overtime. I won't over. Like, with this, we could make another show and make a couple of quid more, but it's like, you have to look after your mental health otherwise you will burn out. So it's finding the right balance between what you can afford, what you can't afford, and just look towards the future. Like we said earlier, future you is gonna thank today you and don't have children. That's freaking so annoying. I love my kids. I love my kids.

[Simon Scott]

Except the expensive one. You know who you are.

[Jordan James]

No, they're good. I love them. I still, I still, I still want to spoil them, but it was, it's really nice when, when your son's like, I'll buy the car off you. And you're just like, that's really so cool that you, that you've got a degree.

[Simon Scott]

How much money? I could have asked for more. Dang.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, we're definitely selling it at a.

[Simon Scott]

Discount, but that's what we've got to give them.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, that's what you do for your kids. You know, you, you do what you can for your kids because they're your kids. But yeah, that's, that's pretty much it is. Just be sensible, I guess, and, and look, look for more tips and tricks and stuff like that to help you, because the quicker you get to the point where I'm at now, the better it will be for you in the future.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, I think that's great advice. And it sort of relies on a lot of things that I sort of lean on. One of the big things for me is a couple of years ago I read a book which is by Morgan Housel, which is called the Psychology of Money. Timeless lessons on wealth, greed and happiness. And it doesn't talk about finances as a thing to learn. It talks about it as a diagnosis of, like, what is your goal with money? And the answer should always be freedom, because independence is the best financial goal. And it also talks about the importance of being able to sleep correctly and choosing peace over profit. It talks about how you should always save money, even if it's just a pound. It looks at breaking your wages down in, into a percentage, which is you know, put 20 aside if you can, invest 10 of that, 20 if you can, because your future, you will. Thank you. It talks about the compound effect of like how you can make money from your money. Like, you know, interest rates aren't what they've what they've been in the last year, but if you save a thousand pounds a month with a 4% interest rate, you're going to get a bit of cash back and that's also tax free if you're a freelancer. And one of the chapters is called play your game, which is turn your money into a game. Make it something that you feel rewarded by when you see the number come up. Treat yourself.

[Jordan James]

The thing that I did. Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Scott]

And also remember. And one of the, the chapters is make your own luck, which is, you know, if you want to make money from the stock market, you actually have to invest in it, but only invest what you can afford to lose and things like that. And it's like taking risk and reward. It has a chapter talking about breaking things down, which is if you were to pay say like subscription service online, that's like a resource tool or even like a gym membership, it goes, okay, your gym membership is a hundred pounds a month, but if you only go once a week, it's actually 25 pound every single time you go. So is it worth it? It and these sorts of like breakdowns and stuff. So reading that book by Morgan Housel and one of the things that I love about the Internet and YouTube specifically is there is an animated version that talks through the entirety of the book that is only half an hour and I will link it in the description of the show notes. Go and watch it.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, there are some also really good financial advice YouTube channels. There's a guy in England, Gary something, it's, it's finance guy, got well over a million subscribers. Like I watch him a lot as well. There's a really good video that he did about like, is it worth paying your mortgage off early or is it worth investing in in an ISA and stuff like that. And it really helped me make the decisions that I needed to make and what suited me best in my future plans. Because it's, it's all well and good having the ideas but, but if you go to the resources like books and YouTube and stuff like that, then you know, you don't have to pay for financial advice anymore. It's all there.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, Martin Lewis app is free. I use it all the time.

[Jordan James]

Martin Lewis is well saying that man is fantastic resource, but it's Just a matter of getting over that demand avoidance of okay, well now I'm going to do it and I've got, got, I've got to rely on other people's advice and, and, and get over that hump of no, I'm going to do this for myself because like I said million times that is definitely my biggest disability because the amount of times where I should have gone to someone, even if it's just YouTube for help and I've gone no, I'll figure that out myself. And I've screwed myself over because I couldn't force myself to watch a YouTube video with someone else giving me advice. It's, it's so ridiculous. Whereas now I'm a lot, lot better. Like even with like the, the in quotes. In quotes newer car that I'm buying. Like I must have watched like 30 YouTube videos on like the different types of car and the fuel economy. Like the car I'm buying is way, it's great. It's a hybrid, it's green, it's way more economical for like fuel and comfort and like, and, and, and like fixing it. And, and I've, I've looked, I just looked into so much. I went proper autistic with it and autistic in a pos always like I love using autistic and a positive. Proper autistic. And it, it was, it was. And I meant for test drives and, and, and I have fully put so much tism and, and that it helped with my demand avoidance because it was that hyper focus. So I always don't find the hyper focus actually negates the, the demand avoidance if it's like extreme hyper focus.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And, and it was literally like oh my, my son wants a car so he can have that one. Now I get a new car which again first time in like five or six years. So I was quite excited about that. But again you just have to be sensible with it. It's just so many times. It's just, and I wish that I had listened to me saying this now 10 years ago. Oh yeah, it was just like be sensible. But I was always living within my means, always living with my, my means. So now the kids are older and my, my, my outgoings are less. But you know, I have this roughly the same amount of money coming in. I'm, I'm able to put more away because I'm, I'm not spending money that I don't need to spend.

[Simon Scott]

And I would say as well just sort of like thinking about advice and I'll finish with this, like, there's a quote from this book that I've mentioned, the psychology of money. And I think this is. It sums it up so well. Which is the highest form of wealth is the ability to wake up every morning and say, I can do whatever I want today. And I think that is, is, is great advice with money is you want that sort of independence and the freedom him. And I wish I'd had this advice 10 years ago. Like, I remember Warren Buffett, who's the most successful Wall street trader ever, somebody said to him, when's the best time to ever invest, Warren? And his answer is always yesterday. It's like the best time to start was yesterday. So. And today is tomorrow's yesterday, so start today.

[Jordan James]

Absolutely great advice. Oh, and if you do end up having a special interest that just randomly appears with your neurodivergent slash mostly adhd, and you're just like, I want to buy all the things, like me with my basketball jerseys and shoes, which I have stopped now. And, you know, I've got a lot better with it. And I say this every time we talk about this. Just put it in the basket and wait. Just put it in the box.

[Simon Scott]

See how much you really want it.

[Jordan James]

Wait a month, two months, maybe even six months. And if you still want it in six months time, when your hyper focus has calmed down or your hyper fixation, which is more important, it's a fixation for that time being. And also, don't ever get a tattoo when you're obsessed with something in that period of time.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, what great advice to finish with. I've never done that.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. So I've booked, and I will admit this on now. So I booked my Pennywise tattoo. And it's not that I'm just randomly just got into Pennywise lately. I mean, I've been into Pennywise for years. I mean, it's one of my favorite books. And we've talked about this on the last episode, but I've got my Pennywise tattoo booked in for next year. But Sylvia's not sold on it. She doesn't like the idea of the macabre, the Pennywise thing, but she's like, look, it's your body. You do what you want with it. But the more I'm thinking about it, I'm just trying to be more sensible. I'm like, okay, I really want it, but I don't, I don't want to upset Sylvia. And it's, it is, you know, it's a. It's a joint thing. She's gonna have to look at it. So because I booked it so far in advance, I can change my mind about it. And that. That is a very big possibility. I might get a turtle instead. Well, turtle's still in the book. It's just a cosmic turtle. I should do a. Oh, cosmic turtle, dude. Here you go. Cosmic turtle with a tiny little red balloon floating in the background.

[Simon Scott]

Sold.

[Jordan James]

That's my toe.

[Simon Scott]

All right, guys. Well, thanks for tuning in with us once again at the neurodivergent Experience. We will be back tomorrow with another hot topic. And don't forget Ashley's mindful Mondays every Monday. Find peace and clarity. Starting your week right with good mental health. So good legend. What a legend, Right, everybody? Love you very much. Take care of yourself. Be kind, be safe if you can. And if you can, be good with.

[Jordan James]

Your money nightly Buy.

[Simon Scott]

Thanks for tuning in to the neurodivergent Experience. We hope today's episode sparked something for you. Whether it's a new idea, a bit of validation, or just a moment of connection, remember, new episodes are every week, so be sure to join us for the next one for more conversations and insights into the neurodivergent Experience. If you've enjoyed this podcast, help us grow. You can do this that by rating and reviewing this show, your support makes a huge difference in helping us reach more people who could benefit from these conversations. You can connect with us on social media, find us on Instagram, Facebook, Tik tok. Just search for the neurodivergent Experience. Thank you again for listening. And until next time, take care of yourself. You're not alone in this journey.

[Jordan James]

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[Simon Scott]

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