The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: Hot Topic: “But You Don’t Look Autistic”

Date: September 18, 2025
Hosts: Jordan James (The Autistic Photographer) & Simon Scott

Episode Overview

In this "Hot Topic" episode, Jordan and Simon dive deep into the pervasive stereotype captured by the phrase “But You Don’t Look Autistic.” The hosts discuss a recent BBC-featured photography exhibition in South Wales that aims to challenge stereotypes around autism by showcasing the diversity of autistic experiences and appearances. Drawing from the exhibition, their own personal stories, and recent events, Jordan and Simon explore why this stereotype persists, its impact, and why positive representation and neurodivergent pride are so important.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Addressing the Stereotype: "But You Don’t Look Autistic"

• [05:23] Jordan: The title of the exhibition resonates because many autistic people hear “you don’t look autistic” regularly, often from people trying (badly) to be kind.

  “People will literally say you don’t look autistic. And it’s… such a weird thing for someone to say, but the weirdest thing is that anyone who says it is trying to be nice, but he’s just sounding like an [expletive].”

• [05:58] Simon: This comment is intensely patronizing and diminishes the neurodivergent person’s lived experience.

2. Exhibition: Challenging Perceptions Through Photography

• [04:44] Jordan: Highlights a BBC article about a South Wales photography exhibition, "But You Don’t Look Autistic," where portraits of autistic children and adults challenge stereotypes.
• [06:51] Jordan: The exhibition features portraits showing “anyone can be autistic, no matter what they look like. So you can’t look autistic. You can just look like you.”
• [09:01] 15-year-old Liam featured in the exhibit:

  “A lot of the time they just speak to you as if you’re not as smart as them or you just can’t do the things they do.”

• [07:11] Discussion of inclusive representation and why it matters:

  “That’s the level of self acceptance and unmasking that…I wish everybody could be.” (Jordan)

3. Stereotypes, Stigma, and the Realities of Disclosure

• [09:56] Jordan: Shares the shift in how people treat him when they learn he’s autistic:

  “And then you go, ‘Oh yeah, I’m autistic.’ And all of a sudden they go, ‘Really? Oh, well, good for you.’ All of a sudden they disinfantilize you. And it’s just like immediately…”

• [11:11] The origins of the exhibition: Organizer Jade realized the need for better representation after conversations with her daughter. Despite being an advocate, Jade still faces disbelief due to stereotypes:

  “You can’t be autistic because you have a mortgage and can drive a car and you remember to get your hair cut this month.” (Simon, paraphrasing typical comments)

4. The Visible vs. Invisible Disability Dilemma

• [13:15] Jordan: Notes the double standard—for ADHD and dyslexia, no one says “You don’t look ADHD/dyslexic”

  “…but for some reason people say you don’t look autistic. And it’s like, well, does that mean being autistic is…so disabling, it clearly has to have a look?”

• [14:43] Discussion about physical disability, stereotypes, and temporary vs. permanent disability.

  “They don’t go, ‘Oh, that means you’re disabled.’ They go, ‘Oh, that means you’re injured.’” (Jordan)

5. Microaggressions and Everyday Ableism

• [16:18] Simon: Cites hearing “You’re not autistic if you just consider trying harder,” highlighting how people often fail to recognize invisible disabilities.
• [17:14] Simon: Recounts being questioned for using accessible transport at festivals, while Jordan describes an incident at Heathrow involving disbelief when using the disabled check-in lane.

  “If I needed a wheelchair, I’d say I need a wheelchair.” (Jordan, [18:48])

6. The Importance of Representation & Community Response

• [19:16] Discussion about symbols (like the wheelchair icon), the narrow societal “look” of disability, and policing who ‘counts’ as disabled.
• [20:05] Simon: Shares a story about public shaming of someone for not ‘looking’ disabled, while Jordan references a comedic movie scene underscoring this issue.

  “If you don’t know, you don’t know. So, like, mind your business.” (Jordan, [20:26])

7. Wider Social Commentary

• [21:35] [22:19] Both hosts joke about the frustrated logic of disability spaces and the sometimes misplaced but relatable sense of justice in trying to police them (“the justice sensitivity can get the better of us”).

8. Positive Representation and Neurodivergent Pride

• [08:09] Jordan:

  “That is my wish. That everybody feels completely free to be as neurodivergent in public as they possibly can be. Which is why we…should have neurodivergent pride. Neurodivergent celebration.”

• [23:12] Jordan: Ends with a positive call to action, expressing a desire to speak to those in the exhibition and connect with this courageous community.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On disclosure and infantilization:

  “Oh, so well done. And I was like, right, this is my wife and two children. I’m not like an infant.” (Jordan, [10:39])

• On not ‘looking’ disabled:

  “Why do I need to meet your standards or what your idea of autism is for me to be accepted as being autistic when I’m just…I’m just autistic.” (Jordan, [16:53])

• On stereotypes and everyday ableism:

  “One of the two is going to start…People are fascinated by both of those things.” (Jordan, [13:04], referring to disclosure)

• On positive representation:

  “These people sound amazing, courageous and totally autistic…is the biggest compliment I can pay.” (Jordan, [23:44])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:22]: BBC exhibition “But You Don’t Look Autistic” discussed
• [05:23]–[06:51]: The meaning behind the phrase and how it’s used, exhibition’s impact
• [09:01]–[09:47]: 15-year-old Liam’s perspective and the condescension of others
• [11:11]–[12:21]: Organizer Jade’s experiences with disbelief and stereotyping
• [13:15]–[15:05]: The double standard of visible/invisible disabilities, stereotypes discussed
• [16:18]–[18:48]: Microaggressions, festival/airport stories, and policing disability
• [19:16]–[20:26]: Public perception and the problem with single-idea disability symbols
• [23:12]–[23:47]: Call for more representation and reaching out to the exhibition’s participants

Episode Tone & Style

Conversational, candid, and humorous, with honest sharing of frustrating and absurd moments that neurodivergent people experience daily. Both hosts blend light-hearted banter with passionate advocacy for understanding, acceptance, and celebrating neurodivergent pride.

Final Thoughts

Jordan and Simon deliver a personal, insightful, and at times, humorous take on why there’s no single “look” to autism or other forms of neurodivergence. By spotlighting the South Wales photography exhibition and their own experiences, they highlight the importance of positive representation, pride, and the urgent need to move from awareness to acceptance and celebration. Listeners are left with encouragement, validation, and a gentle challenge to rethink what they think they know about neurodiversity.

If you connected with the episode or know someone featured in the exhibition, the hosts would love to hear from you!