The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: Hot Topic: How to Recognize and Manage Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)
Hosts: Jordan James & Simon Scott
Date: September 4, 2025

Episode Overview

This Hot Topic episode dives into Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)—an intense, emotional reaction to perceived or real rejection that is common among neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD and autism. Hosts Jordan James and Simon Scott discuss a recent UK news article covering RSD, reflect on their personal experiences, challenge misconceptions, and explore practical strategies for managing RSD in everyday life. The tone is open, validating, humorous, and informative—aiming both to advocate for awareness and to provide actionable advice.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. RSD: From “Myth” to Mainstream

• RSD is gaining visibility:
  The hosts reference a recent article from The Independent covering RSD, which is significant as mainstream acknowledgment of RSD has lagged behind community experiences.
  • Scotty: “The myth of RSD is finally becoming known. It's like pda. It's like, oh, that's a thing, Is it? Possibly. Yes, it is.” [03:47]
• ADHD isn't the only context:
  The article ties RSD mostly to ADHD, but Simon emphasizes it’s common in autism too.
  • Scotty: “It is also linked to autism very clearly, very clearly. But as we've discussed many, many times, this is the same synaptic pruned brain. Not the same conditions, just the same brain that resulted in those conditions.” [03:14]
• Formal diagnosis debate:
  RSD remains an informal condition—not officially recognized in diagnostic manuals, but its clinical validity is increasingly discussed.

2. Personal Experiences with RSD

• How it feels:
  Both hosts describe the spiraling internal narratives, where small social cues (like delayed message replies) trigger disproportionate self-doubt, anxiety, and rumination.
  • Jordan (reading from the article):
    “Imagine your friend hasn't replied to a message in a few hours...someone with ADHD might spiral into a flood of thoughts like, they must hate me or I've ruined the friendship.” [06:36]
  • Scotty:
    "It's a rejection of you as a person rather than just something you did. It's deep. That is deep." [07:23]
• Frequency and self-awareness:
  The intensity can reduce over time as awareness builds.
  • Jordan:
    "Used to be a daily. I think it's moved to weekly now because I'm aware of it and I recognize it." [07:54]
• Relatable analogies:
  • Scotty: “It's like a little gremlin that just sits on your shoulder...every now and again it will just whisper in your ear like, you suck.” [25:08]
  • Jordan: “It's Gollum to me. It's like, no one likes you, you've not got any friends. Like, that's literally what I sometimes just hear creeping in my ear.” [25:36]

3. Recognition & Medical Validation

• First signs in UK media:
  • Jordan: “That is the first time I have ever seen that in a UK news publication. I've read it in studies, I've never seen it in a newspaper...”
    Reference to neurological explanations—differences in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex in ADHD. [09:23]
• Community-driven progress:
  Simon credits the advocacy and contributions of neurodivergent researchers for increased awareness.
  • Scotty: “I guarantee you that, that this is gaining traction because of the neurodivergent community. That, that it's probably getting a lot of traction because the people doing that clinical research are neurodivergent themselves because that might be their hyperfocus.” [10:23]

4. Critical Perspective on Media & Studies

• Media misinformation:
  The hosts vent frustrations at misleading headlines and studies linking unrelated factors to autism.
  • Scotty:
    "That's like saying women who brushed their hair during pregnancy had children who were autistic. So brushing your hair during pregnancy makes your kid autistic. Correlation isn't causation, you absolute fucking Wombles." [14:36]
• Skepticism around acceptance:
  Many people reject new ideas out of ignorance rather than true critique, often conflating lack of understanding with disbelief.
  • Jordan:
    "They will read a tagline that goes like, you know, brushing your hair will not only make your babies bald, it will make them autistic. And they go, oh, I better not brush my hair then. Oh, come on." [15:29]

5. Practical Strategies for Managing RSD

• Naming it:
  The first helpful tip is to acknowledge RSD as it happens, giving emotional distance.

  • Article (read by Jordan):
    “Saying to yourself, this feels like rejection sensitivity can give you distance from the emotional flood.” [11:55]
  • Jordan:
    “Understanding what RSD is like when I feel it and I just go, this feels like rejection sensitivity has been, it's been an absolute game changer.” [17:37]

• Therapy matters:
  Both hosts recommend seeking a therapist who understands neurodivergence. Special mention is given to Ashley Bentley for her effective, compassionate therapy.

  • Scotty:
    “Ashley is, is just so good...I think that she's a magician. Sorceress. She's sorceress. She does magic, but not like pick a card magic, but like real magic.” [19:34]

• Early intervention with kids:
  Teaching children emotional language and boundaries can help develop resilience against RSD.

  • Scotty:
    “Helping children with neurodivergence in one word, learn emotional language. Boundary setting and resilience can prevent rejection sensitivity from becoming overwhelming...” [20:33]

• Clear communication:
  For both children and adults with neurodivergence, receiving clear, direct, and kind feedback is crucial.

  • Scotty:
    “A little extra clarity can go a long way...I definitely think the rejection sensitivity to dysphoria can be hugely avoided in so many circumstances when a clear amount of information is given.” [21:56]

• Critique of popular parenting advice:
  Simon warns against approaches from TV child experts like Supernanny Joe Frost, as they can actively harm neurodivergent children.

  • Scotty:
    "I followed her advice. So my...I hurt my own kids inadvertently because of that stupid freaking idiot. So, yeah, if you have neurodivergent kids, don't listen to her. Plain and simple." [23:14]

6. Validation & Hope

• Summary from article and hosts:
  Jordan (reading):
  “Rejection sensitivity dysphoria isn't about being fragile or weak. It's about how the ADHD or neurodivergent brain processes emotional and social cues. With insights, tools, and support, these experiences can become manageable.” [24:48]
• Building self-compassion:
  Both hosts emphasize the value of mindful awareness, self-kindness, and separating oneself from harsh self-narratives as core to RSD management.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On accommodations:

  • Scotty (humorous):
    “They said, what is it that we can get for you that will help you? And I turned around and went, an ice cream machine. I want a Mr. Whippy ice cream machine that makes chocolate, strawberry, and mint chocolate ice cream.” [05:21]

• On being believed:

  • Jordan:
    “It's so funny and it's so obvious, but I was just like, my ex girlfriend thinks I'm a dick. Oh, no. Yeah, obviously. I was like, wow, she's, she's gonna have told her friends that I'm an asshole. And I'm like, I've not thought about that. Not been with this person for many, many years. I can't sleep now.” [08:32]

• Sense of progress:

  • Jordan:
    “But the fact that an article is saying what we're saying gives me a bit of hope, dude. It really is.” [11:55]

• Therapist endorsement:

  • Scotty:
    “Ashley is the absolute best I've ever come across. I think that she's a magician. Sorceress. She's sorceress. She does magic, but not like pick a card magic, but like real magic.” [19:34]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:33] — Introduction to RSD and its increasing visibility
• [06:35] — What RSD looks and feels like in everyday life
• [09:23] — Scientific explanations & recognition in UK media
• [11:55] — Naming RSD as a helpful coping strategy
• [17:51] — The benefit of therapy, especially with neurodivergent-competent professionals
• [20:33] — Supporting neurodivergent children with emotional language
• [21:56] — The impact of communication styles on RSD
• [23:14] — Why traditional parenting advice can harm neurodivergent youth
• [24:48] — Final thoughts on hope, validation, and managing RSD

Conclusion

This episode is a validating, practical, and sometimes humorous look at RSD for neurodivergent listeners and their allies. The hosts underscore the importance of understanding and naming RSD, seeking compassionate therapy, the value of clear communication, and building self-awareness. They call for better mainstream coverage rooted in neurodivergent expertise, share resources for further support, and provide hope that with greater awareness, managing RSD becomes more possible for all.

“Take care of yourself, be kind and stay safe.” — Jordan [26:36]