Ashley Dupuis (3:00)

Yeah.

Host (3:00)

In how much we aren't told. And there's a reason why. And it's scary when it comes out and people don't believe it. And then there are people with Tinfoil hats on with the signs that say the world is ending in their. They've got more in. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's a scary time. But one of the things that you've just hit on there, if I don't watch it, I'm ignorant, I'm ill informed. And I'm also in danger of, you know, if you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything is what I'm finding a lot of the time. So I'm intrigued. Ashley, what has been the sort of, as somebody who's, you know, so sort of self aware of your cognitive self, how has the news been making you feel at the moment?

Ashley Dupuis (3:43)

It has been just such a roller coaster because, you know, you go, you go on Reddit, you go on Drudge Report, all of these, all of these websites and trying to sort of find the news from around the world, what are, what are the main headlines. And I have found myself just completely, my, my anxiety levels have, have been rising and it's very, it makes sense. There, there's a part, there's a little section in our brain called the Reticular Activating system or RAS for short. We'll call it the ras. And what it is, it works a bit like an Internet cookie works. You know how when you're searching for something online and then you switch to a different webpage and you see an advert for the very thing that you were just searching for?

Host (4:32)

Yeah.

Ashley Dupuis (4:33)

So this part of our brain filters out the world to show us more of what we're focusing on. So pregnant women get this a lot. As soon as they find out they're pregnant, suddenly they see pregnant women everywhere. And of course those pregnant women were there all along, but you're more tuned into it. So same if you're researching to buy a new car, suddenly you see that car everywhere.

Host (4:57)

Everywhere. It's mental how it happens. It's crazy, isn't it?

Ashley Dupuis (5:01)

It is. So think about this. If you are consuming nothing but the darkest, most evil sort of news that's happening, think about if that's happening when you're researching for a car, what's happening to how you're viewing the world. If you are just taking in more and more of this really, really dark, dark news that's happening, it will absolutely affect how you see the world. So it's really, really important that we, you know, stay informed. But I think, I think the thing is, is so our brains have this negativity bias that when we are scrolling, the reason why we keep scrolling, why doom scrolling is A thing.

Host (5:47)

Oh, I'm so guilty of doomscrolling, Ashley. I really need to work on it.

Ashley Dupuis (5:53)

Well, we're trying to work against our own biology because when we're scrolling and we read something that is quite upsetting or negative, our brain thinks, keep going until you find something to soothe you so that you feel safe to then put it down so you can stop scrolling. Well, guess what? Nobody wants us to. You know, these companies, the social media news outlets want us to keep scrolling. So every story, and the more that the algorithms work and they, they see which stories you pay attention to, they're just going to show you more of those stories. So again, it's a, it's a real, it's a real, a balancing act of staying informed but then intentionally seeking out. I love to seek out inspiring stories. You know, stories of people who have overcome things and who are, you know, finding new ways to do things. So you may have to really. Well, you will have to intentionally seek those things out that likely won't easily come up on your feed. But I find that that's a good way to kind of balance things out, to show you that actually there is good in the world. There's so much good in the world, but we're just not seeing it.

Host (7:10)

It's hard, isn't it? Because good news doesn't sell.

Ashley Dupuis (7:13)

No, no.

Host (7:14)

And that's, that's the really unfortunate thing. And I find a lot of the time when people are sort of talking to each other, it's, it's the bad news that gets conversation and can start you socializing and it's not helpful. And I totally agree with the finding sort of inspiring news. I've been watching the Winter Olympics for the past few days, and I'll be honest, I'll put my hand up and go, the Winter Olympics ski. I don't really care about skiing, but I tell you what, the last couple of days I've watched some of it and I'm like, oh, wow, brilliant, great. And I've been really enjoying watching it with my partner because we've sort of been able to switch off. But it's so difficult living with heightened empathy and justice sensitivity when the news is loud, it's dramatic, it's urgent, and it's catastrophic like it is. It's very, very intense. And one of the things that I've been struggling with is somebody whose special interest is the Second World War. And I'm a pattern matcher. And I'm literally sat here some nights at like 2 in the morning going, well, did they say that World War II started on the 1st of September, 1939? Or did they say it started a few years later? And when will that happen for us? And now I am not sleeping because I'm worrying about every, like, you know, I'm trying to build my little life with my family and my, you know, and I'm trying to live a good life.

Ashley Dupuis (8:35)

Yes.

Host (8:36)

And I'm so scared that just some gonna just mess it up over some. Like that's genuinely what is going through my brain right now. And I'm finding it really hard to hold on to nuance.

Ashley Dupuis (8:47)

Yeah.

Host (8:48)

All of my thinking at the moment with the news is black and white. It's like you're either this or you're that.

Ashley Dupuis (8:53)

Yeah.

Host (8:54)

And if you're. If you're not one, you're the other. If you don't agree with 1 out of 10 things rather than 6 out of 10, you're this. And I just feel like at the lot of the time I'm watching the news and I go, I don't even know what to think about half of this stuff anymore. I feel so desensitized to so much horrific shit.

Ashley Dupuis (9:13)

Yes.

Host (9:14)

That I almost like go into my normal life now and it feels a little bit fake in a way, you know?

Ashley Dupuis (9:22)

Yeah. I mean, just in the course of the last few months, I have seen, you know, some. We've seen some really, because people have cameras now everywhere we go, you know, we've got our phones. We are seeing things that, you know, we really probably shouldn't be putting into our, into our brains, you know, you know, point blank shootings and things like that of like, oh my God, I can't unsee that. I've just. That's just come up on my feed. I didn't choose to see it. It's just. Yeah.

Host (9:52)

You have no choice over what you're shown. This is the thing that I'm finding so difficult is the whole ICE situation in the U.S. yes. Oh, God, it just breaks my heart what is happening over there. And I don't have a choice. When I see that shit in my feed, it happens. And then I can click on the filters and go, not interested. And three reels later it'll go, are you sure you're not interested?

Ashley Dupuis (10:17)

Yeah, yeah. And what it's doing to our brains and I talk about that, Talk about this on this week's episode of. Of Mindful Mondays is a good metaphor for this is eating and digestion and nutrition. When we're eating something, we have the conscious awareness of chewing and swallowing and feeling full. And then after that digestion happens, it kind of goes out of our conscious awareness. The nutrients that are being absorbed and helping our bodies. The same thing happens with the news, the things that we are consuming. We have the experience of consuming this information in the moment, but then we go on about our day. But what's happening is our brain is digesting all of that information for future use for you, for how you need to move around the world, move about the world. So it. We really, really have to be so. And I love the Olympics. That's such. So funny. I was just thinking the other day about how. I remember when I was a kid, when the Olympics came on, it was like, such a big deal, such a

Host (11:30)

huge deal, didn't it?

Ashley Dupuis (11:31)

Everybody was watching it. And it's so wonderful to watch what we humans can do. The top performers in the world do the best things in the. Like that. I've just got goosebumps thinking about it. That is so wonderful.

Host (11:47)

Do you know what keeps happening for me, Ashley, as I'm watching these people do, like, the toboggan or like. Like the skeleton, where they're literally like, on a sled going down a hill at 70 miles an hour. The only question I have is, how did you get into that?

Ashley Dupuis (12:01)

Yeah, yeah.

Host (12:03)

Like, what. What moment in your life made you go, I'm really good at sledding on an ice tunnel? Like, how. How did you get real good at that? Like, that is. That's a nice question. To have the news, like, that's a really sort of innocent curiosity that I love, sort of about a neurodivergent brain is I watch somebody do that and I go, how the hell did you get into that, mate? Like, that led to. That led to that? Yeah, yeah, it's. And it has been sort of really nice. And it's. I don't often like to disassociate, but to sort of just, you know, it's that escapism, isn't it? In a way, yeah, it is.

Ashley Dupuis (12:40)

And, you know, if you. Not so much. Well, I suppose they do have sort of stands and audiences for the winter Olympics as well as the summer Olympics, don't they? I suppose it's a bit more cold, but when you're in the audience with a whole lot of other people experiencing what a human can do, you know, I mean, gosh, you literally get up on your feet and you go, you know, in unison. Nobody tells us to do this, but we do this because it's. What a joy to See what a human can do. Like, that is. That is amazing.

Host (13:16)

Me and my partner were watching, I think it's called curling, where they throw the things on the ice and they have the little brushes and the brushing of a. Me and my missus were on the sofa last night going, go on, brush it, brush it. Like, we were. We really got into it. I was like, I never, never in my life thought I would watch this. But that is what good news feels like. You and I are exchanging information and having fun about it.

Ashley Dupuis (13:39)

Yes.

Host (13:40)

Sort of bring. Bring back the negative sort of contradiction that come. Like the juxtaposition that comes from that. It's like I have had so many people send me links or screenshots of all this. This Epstein file stuff, and the more I read it, the more really uncomfortable I sort of feel just about the general world, if I go, wow, there's. There's things that I've done that I'm sort of disappointed in myself about and not proud of. But, wow, you've really got to be disconnected from reality to do some of the shit that I'm reading about.

Ashley Dupuis (14:18)

It's harrowing.

Host (14:19)

It is awful.

Ashley Dupuis (14:21)

Yeah. And it will be very re. Traumatizing to people who have been, you know, sexually abused.

Host (14:28)

And it is exactly, Ashley, like how, you know, I vividly remember hearing a story about somebody that was discussing that they were sexually assaulted by a very famous athlete and seeing his pictures everywhere.

Ashley Dupuis (14:44)

Yeah.

Host (14:45)

And there are so many people, especially neurodivergent women. This is an extremely common thing. How, how do you navigate going through the news with cptsd? Like, this is. As much as I've loved talking about the Olympics and everything like that, that's. It's only gonna last for another week.

Ashley Dupuis (15:05)

Yeah. Yes.

Host (15:06)

Yes. We're going to go back to the grind again. And it's so hard, isn't it, when your brain, especially an ADHD brain, is. It's addicted to stimulation.

Ashley Dupuis (15:20)

Yeah. Yeah. And we. We are. We are hardwired to look out for what. What is going wrong in our lives. And it feels. It feels like a. We're protecting ourselves if we give ourselves more information. This is why, you know, true crime podcasts are huge, especially amongst neurodivergent women.

Host (15:39)

Yeah.

Paige Desorbo (15:40)

Yeah.

Ashley Dupuis (15:40)

And women in general, I think. And it's, you know, people have theorized. Well, it's. It's a way of feeling like if I. If I get more information on what's happened to other people, then that might help me not get in that situation. And you're absolutely right. If you have CPTSD and I am a big fan of. Actually you can switch off. You don't have to stay informed news wise as much as people. I don't want to tell people that they should all turn off the news and never read another news item again. But your mental well being comes first over being informed on national stories and trust that you will get the gist of of things going on hearing from other people and take a news detox. I think could be wise for a lot of people, whether that be a month or a few months or it's. I, I'm, I'm a big fan of, of, of doing the, the news detox.

Host (16:52)

I am as well and I try to do it but then I found sort of in social settings there's a pressure to care about everything.

Ashley Dupuis (17:01)

Yes.

Host (17:02)

It doesn't matter what the topic is. You've got to have an opinion and it's really difficult. And a lot of the time I've had this where I feel like I've communicated with people that are really on the pulse. Like they, they are reading a lot, they're watching a lot. They have lived experience related to a lot of the news stories and a lot of the time actually I don't feel informed enough be involved in the conversation.

Ashley Dupuis (17:28)

Yes.

Host (17:28)

So there are a lot of times where I don't want to be passive and be a passenger and not, you know, you know, be aligned with my morals. But then there's also that protecting your peace. It's a, it's a really fine line because I have found a lot of people want to know. Not necessarily they want to know your opinion, but a lot of people are up to tell you what they know. They're really up for a debate a lot of the time.

Ashley Dupuis (17:55)

Yeah. And again, this seems to be where everything is trying to pit us. You're either in this camp or that camp and you know, life is much more nuanced than that in a lot of ways. Obviously not in the subject that we were just talking about. There's no nuance in sexual abuse. But yeah, and this is where we can be really, really creative. I mean think about, think about somebody. If somebody had a special interest that, you know, knew nothing about and they start to info dump on you and they want to talk to you about it, you can still talk to people about, you know, how is that making you feel? What do you think? You know, you can still ask intelligent questions of the other person of where do you see this going? Or what do you think is the larger problem? Here you can have an interesting discourse with someone even if you don't know all of the facts of what's going on and the topic that you're discussing. So it is a real tough one. I wish I had a good solid answer as to how we navigate this. I think what's important is for people to realize that your brain is digesting this information all the time. Even after you've read that article or seen that news story, still digesting that. So just be aware of that and really try and balance that out. Bring in some inspiring stories into your life as well.

Host (19:30)

It's difficult when you're sort of carrying global problems within your body.

Ashley Dupuis (19:35)

Yes.

Host (19:36)

You know, it's very, very difficult to sort of trying to phrase this correctly in how, you know, there are moments that I have where I'm reading a lot of the news where I realize how inconsequential I am, even though I have a lot of justice, sensitivity and I care deeply and I'm an extremely empathetic person. There are a lot of the time where I read things in the news, where I go. Not a lot I can do about that.

Ashley Dupuis (20:01)

Yes, yes. And I think this is where the circle of control, it's always a brilliant one to bring in. Let's really focus on the things that we do have control and influence on in our life and let's really focus on our close relationships and really have that be the focus of our life where we can affect positive change. Because if we're completely focusing on things that are outside of our circle of control, we feel very powerless. We feel like there's just, there's nothing I can do except to just be really. Yeah. Really horrified at what, what is going on in the world. And again, I think it's so. It's so important to realize that there are so many amazing things that are happening right now in the world. You know, poverty is at an all time low. We're really making a lot of advances in so many areas and things, good things are happening, but they don't sell. They don't sell. So if you have a goal of trying to be inspired every day, try and find one new thing that inspires you. This week I've been talking about gratitude. Maybe we need to bring in an inspiration practice. Find one thing that inspires you, a different thing every day. I don't know how, how we go about doing that, but yeah, it's difficult,

Host (21:30)

isn't it, when everything's so like tailored and filtered before it comes to you.

Ashley Dupuis (21:34)

Yeah.

Host (21:35)

But I totally Agree. You know, if. If it's. It's a balance, isn't it? Again, comes back to that balance of I want to be informed, I want to know what's going on. I want to feel like I'm a part of the Zeitgeist, but at the same time, I need to sleep and I need to switch off and I need to be in the real world in the way of not saying that the news isn't the real world, but I need to live within my own world.

Ashley Dupuis (21:59)

Well, and so often people are. There's a psychology, therapeutic sort of framework called transactional analysis, and it talks about our sort of communication with others. And so often people are playing the game of ain't it awful? Ain't it awful? You know this. And it happened to me. It happens to me a lot in the gym. It's funny, I was in the gym just the other day, and there's somebody that I don't know very well, but I see them at the gym every once in a while. And we were starting a conversation and everything that this person was saying, every time I tried to change it to something else, it was like, ain't this awful? Well, what about this? And this is awful. It's like. And I actually ended up saying, you know what? Actually I'm trying to not think about this so much. So, you know, I probably let the air out of their balloon a bit with that one. But, you know, some people are. This is the sort of the mindset that they're in. So, yeah, protect your peace, as you say, is a good way of thinking about it.

Host (23:11)

Yeah, it's an interesting hot topic, this one. You know, it's a little bit meta, isn't it? It's a news. News episode about how. How to navigate the news. But at the moment, you know, it's. It's so, so true in that we have tried to find really inspiring news stories related to neurodivergence. Not a lot of fish in the water at the moment, unfortunately. And it's not because there isn't good news. It's not because there isn't inspiring stories. I mean, only last week we discussed the I Swear film, which I thought was incredibly inspiring as a film, but unfortunately it's so few and far between at the moment. So I thought it would be very important this week anyway to sort of just reflect on where we are and so how we navigate this emotional intensity problem that is so related to what is going on in the world right now. Because even when I try and switch off it's all doom and gloom.

Ashley Dupuis (24:03)

Absolutely.

Host (24:04)

Journalism is just doom and gloom. Like, my interests are a sport. I go on sport. And it's never, oh, didn't he do great?

Ashley Dupuis (24:10)

Yeah.

Host (24:11)

Even if he did great, they went, oh, it could be better. It's like, oh, come on, everyone. Like, let's just, you know, let's just enjoy something while we can. It's why it made the Winter Olympics never end.

Ashley Dupuis (24:22)

Yeah, well. And it's why I talk about starting a gratitude practice on this week's episode. And this, a gratitude practice. And it sounds all sort of like, you know, and when I first started hearing gratitude in the zeitgeist. Wellness Zeitgeist, I, you know, did. Did a bit of an eye roll. I. I will be honest, but this was before I really knew how gratitude can rewire your brain. It can. It. It can help your RAs, your filtering system, so counter all the negativity that's coming in by starting a regular gratitude practice. It sounds fluffy. It's not. It. It is fully backed by science. It will rewire your brain. It will help to balance that out. So that would be my biggest piece of advice for people.

Host (25:06)

I'm interested to know any listeners. How are you finding the news out there? Are you wanting to bury your head in the sand or are you loving it? Are you up for it? Are you up for a scrap? I want to know. I'm very intrigued to see sort of how people are reacting to it. And also as well, I'm very intrigued to know how you're navigating it. Are you somebody that has switched off, Are you listening to this and go, oh, I didn't even know that was in the news. And you know what? If you are, bless you. That must be like, you know, it's that ignorance is bliss almost, isn't it?

Ashley Dupuis (25:33)

Yeah.

Host (25:33)

You know, I'm really intrigued to know sort of how you're navigating these times, because the word unprecedented times gets thrown around every generation. It actually feels like these are unprecedented times. Yeah. So I'm very interested to hear your thoughts. Well, Ashley, thank you so much for joining me once again. If you didn't listen to yesterday's episode. Episode on a masking, please go back and listen to it. It was wonderful. And Ashley's mindful Mondays as well. Talking about gratitude and putting a program into place. It really. It really helps. I'm not talking about it from just because Ashley's my friend. I have it from lived experience. That works. It really does.

Ashley Dupuis (26:13)

It does.

Host (26:14)

It really does. You know, I often say to myself, every day, aren't I lucky?

Ashley Dupuis (26:20)

Yeah.

Host (26:20)

And you know, it's, there's a phrase that comes from a very famous golfer, says the more I practice, the luckier I get.

Ashley Dupuis (26:28)

Yes, yes.

Host (26:30)

So practice it and you'll. Yeah, it'll, it'll find its way. But I'm now gonna go away and figure out how I can stop looking at the news. Ashley. But that's, that's another problem for another time and another week. Ashley will be with you for mindful Mondays next Monday and every Monday in our feed. Go and check it out. Guys, she is a wonderful worker and the work she does over there is brilliant. So please go and enjoy it. And Jordan will be back next week. He will probably be jet lagged and all sorts of stuff. So that'll be, that'll be fun for him, I suppose. But I'm very excited to see him and hear from him. I've not seen him for a couple of weeks just because time zones.

Ashley Dupuis (27:07)

Yeah,

Host (27:10)

somebody. And they're like, I'm going to bed now, it's midnight. And you literally sat there with your morning coffee. Like, what? Yeah, it's a real, that's a real mind meld. But anyway, that's my problem, not yours. Listeners, thank you so much for listening. We will be back in your feed next week. All the best. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to the Neurodivergent Experience. We hope today's episode sparks something for you. Whether it's a new idea, a bit of validation, or just a moment of connection. Remember new episodes. Episodes are every week, so be sure to join us for the next one for more conversations and insights into the neurodivergent Experience. If you've enjoyed this podcast, help us grow. You can do that by rating and reviewing this show. Your support makes a huge difference in helping us reach more people who could benefit from these conversations. You can connect with us on social media, find us on Instagram, Facebook, tick tock. Just search for the Neurodivergent Experience. Thank you again for listening and until next time, take care of yourself. You're not alone in this journey.

Paige Desorbo (28:26)

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