Podcast Summary: The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: Hot Topic: Why Neurodivergent Kids Go Missing — It’s Not the ADHD

Hosts: Jordan James (“Kelly”) & Simon Scott (“Scotty”)
Date: December 12, 2025

Overview

This week’s Hot Topic dives deep into the complex realities behind why neurodivergent children, particularly those with ADHD, go missing or run away from home. Challenging the sensational media narrative that places the blame solely on ADHD, Jordan and Simon explore the broader context: misdiagnosis, lack of support, difficult parental environments, stigma, and unmet needs. Drawing on personal experience and discussing an article from The Independent, the hosts advocate for greater awareness, empathy, and holistic support for neurodivergent youth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Media Misconceptions & Sensationalism

• The discussion is anchored around an article titled “My Undiagnosed ADHD Was the Biggest Catalyst in Going Missing” (The Independent).
• The hosts challenge the notion that ADHD itself is to blame, questioning how headlines often oversimplify or sensationalize complex realities for neurodivergent youth.
• Quote:
  • “It’s kind of a sensationalist headline... it’s using ADHD as another, like, oh, it’s a buzzword rather than... a genuine thing.” – Kelly [09:15]

2. Personal Experiences of Running Away

• Jordan (Kelly) recounts multiple childhood incidents of running away, born from a mix of undiagnosed conditions and, importantly, an abusive home environment (not ADHD per se).
• The emotional and physical tolls are recounted, including a dramatic episode involving police and social services.
• Quote:
  • “I ran away a lot as a kid... I was just seen as a problem... No one ever cared. Like, literally no one ever cared.” – Kelly [05:22–05:58]
• Discusses lack of intervention and failure by authorities to question or address the home situation, despite media coverage and significant police response.

3. Neurodivergence + Environment = Outcome

• Simon references Dr. Luke Bearden's equation:
  • Neurodivergence + Environment = Outcome
  • Outcome isn’t due solely to being neurodivergent, but heavily shaped by the environment and the level of understanding and support.
• Quote:
  • “ADHD plays into that, but it’s how they’re treated. It’s their lack of support, it’s the environments that they find themselves in coupled with their neurodivergence [that] is creating an extreme outcome.” – Scotty [10:19]

4. Mr. Grange’s Story (from The Independent)

• Jay Grange ran away repeatedly as a child, struggling with undiagnosed ADHD, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
• He recalls feeling misunderstood and “written off as disruptive.” His experiences with being excluded from school, trouble with police, and emotional dysregulation are common threads.
• Quote:
  • “At the time I was going missing, I didn’t know what was going on... When I would go missing, I was just taking a break from everything. But even when I’d go missing, my brain wouldn’t shut down because my ADHD goes a thousand miles per hour. I was overthinking, I was nervous, I was thinking, what’s going to happen?” – Read by Scotty [13:59–15:34]

5. Diagnosis as a Turning Point

• For both Jordan and Mr. Grange, diagnosis brought understanding and clarity, leading to positive changes.
• Quote:
  • “After the diagnosis, I understood myself more, which gave me clarity and I stopped all the negative things that I was doing. Going missing, dealing drugs and changing my life around.” – Mr. Grange, read by Scotty [13:59–15:34]

6. Need for Early Assessment & Holistic Understanding

• Early recognition, intervention, and holistic assessments are emphasized as key to preventing escalation of dangerous situations.
• Lack of support, mislabeling (“naughty kid”), and ignorance of overlapping neurodivergent conditions contribute to cycles of absenteeism, acting out, and crisis.
• Quote:
  • “Once he got diagnosed, things really, really changed, which is why it’s so important to get assessed, to have awareness and to understand neurodivergence for everyone, so they can spot it in younger people.” – Kelly [16:19]
• Suggests broader education for parents, teachers, police, and beyond.

7. Labels, Stigma, and the “Bad Kid” Narrative

• Both hosts reflect on the internalization of negative labels, missed diagnoses (e.g., ADHD as “bad behavior” or “too many sweets”), and the way authority figures reinforce the cycle.
• Children respond to expectations: if called “naughty” and treated as such, they may enact that role.
• Quote:
  • “If everyone thinks that I’m disruptive and naughty, then at least I’m good at it. So that’s just what I am. So that’s what I’m gonna be.” – Scotty [17:39]
• Retraumatization and lack of empathy from institutions are recurring themes.

8. “A Cry for Help”

• Acting out, running away, or going missing frequently reflects unmet emotional needs, bullying, fear, and an inability to express needs in acceptable ways.
• Quote:
  • “It is a cry for help because I’m not a bad person, but I did bad things as a kid, so I was labeled as a bad kid... I would act out to get help.” – Kelly [21:26–21:27]

9. Lack of Empathy and Systemic Failures

• The pain and long-term harm of being misunderstood and unsupported are laid bare.
• Calls for systemic empathy, recognition of the “bigger picture,” and for institutions like police and social services to recognize trauma and respond appropriately.
• Quote:
  • “People should... have seen the situation that you were in and realized that you were not the catalyst of that situation. You were the circumstance... No one helped you?” – Scotty [22:58–23:05]
• “The whole emphasis was making sure that I wasn’t going to do it again... [that] I wouldn’t run away again. No one... asked if I was okay.” – Kelly [23:12–23:54]

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “It’s just fun wordplay... I’m describing the neurodivergent news as being spicy.”

  • Kelly on the term “neurospicy” [03:23–03:39]

• “If you don’t understand what [neurodivergent] means, you’re not going to see the warning signs... The worst thing is that it just seems to be getting less. Less is being done.”

  • Kelly [25:42]

• Personal Recount:

  • Kelly tells the story of being chased by police after running away, highlighting the lack of support from family and authorities, and the emotional landscape behind the act of running away. [07:04–09:15]

• Hope for Change:

  • Scotty expresses hope that sharing such stories will catalyze progress and understanding in society. [24:21–25:32]

Segment Timestamps (Main Content Only)

• Introduction & Clarifying “Neurospicy” — [01:36–03:46]
• Setting up the Article/Hot Topic — [04:14–05:22]
• Personal Experience & Running Away — [05:22–10:19]
• Analysis: Is ADHD to Blame? — [10:19–11:14]
• Jay Grange's Story (Article Summary) — [13:59–15:34]
• Systemic Issues: Labels, Diagnosis, and Support — [15:34–22:04]
• Empathy, Systemic Failures, and Hope for Change — [22:04–25:40]
• Conclusions & Closing Thoughts — [25:40–26:48]

Final Thoughts & Takeaways

• Neurodivergent children who go missing are rarely doing so “because of their ADHD.” The root causes are typically a toxic combination of undiagnosed neurodivergence, unsupportive or abusive environments, and societal misunderstanding.
• Early diagnosis and holistic support are critical for positive outcomes.
• The “bad kid” narrative is damaging and often perpetuates the very behaviors it seeks to eliminate.
• There’s an urgent need for empathy, systemic change in schools, healthcare, and policing, and more nuanced media coverage.
• Personal stories like those shared in this episode are invaluable for changing attitudes, educating listeners, and supporting others to feel less alone.

Quote to End:
“Be kind, be supportive, be neuro affirming. We’ll catch you next time.” – Scotty [26:46]