← The Neurodivergent Experience
The Neurodivergent Experience
Mindful Mondays With Ashley Bentley: The Ladder Within | Understanding Your Nervous System
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Sleep Number Representative
Why choose a Sleep Number Smart bed.
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Ashley Bentley
Can I make my site softer?
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Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?
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Sleep Number Representative
Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side your sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. And now max out your savings. The more you buy, the more you save on beds, bases and more. Plus get free home delivery on any smart bed with base limited time. Check it out at a sleep number store near you or@sleepnumber.com today today we'll.
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- [01:02]
Ashley Bentley
Acast powers the world's best Podcasts Here's a show that we recommend.
- [01:10]
Jessi Ware or Lenny Ware
Hello, this is Jessie and Lenny Ware from Table Manners, a podcast direct from our dining table where we talk all things food, family, growing up, and everything in between.
- [01:20]
Ashley Bentley
And everything in between.
- [01:21]
Jessi Ware or Lenny Ware
This season we've had Reese Witherspoon reveal the greatest cookie recipe. We had Gary Oldman, who's freshly knighted. Sir Gary Oldman. Sir Gary Oldman. We did some singing with Gloria Estefan and Jeremy Allen White has shared some.
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Ashley Bentley
Culinary stories with us.
- [01:36]
Jessi Ware or Lenny Ware
And it's not just this series. We've had plenty of other brilliant guests where you can listen back to all the episodes. People like Cher, Dolly Parton, Kate Winslet, St. Paul McCartney, John Legend, Benny Blanco, and Selena Gomez. We've had them all and we've fed them very well. Come and listen to Table Manners, the podcast with me, Jessi Ware and Lenny Ware.
- [01:56]
Ashley Bentley
ACAST helps launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
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Acast.com.
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Ashley Bentley
Welcome to mindful Mondays, a part of the Neurodivergent Experience podcast. I'm your host, Ashley Bentley, and this month we're diving into something that lies at the heart of all of my work and really at the heart of every human experience. Your nervous system. Now all October, we explored nature as teacher, nature as healer here on Mindful Mondays, learning from the winds, the trees, and the turning seasons. And now, as the days grow shorter and we begin to turn inward, it feels like the perfect time to explore the inner landscape, the body itself, and the brilliant system that shapes how we Feel, think, connect, and create. So for the next four weeks, we're going to explore neuroscience and the neurodivergent nervous system, learning how this remarkable inner network shapes the way we experience the world and how we can begin to work with it, not against it. And we'll be unpacking what the nervous system really is, what it's trying to do, and how it affects every single experience we have in the world. Because once you learn to work with it rather than against it, everything begins to shift. Remember, the world wants and needs you at your best. So prioritizing your health is never selfish. It's one of the most generous things you can do for yourself and for the world around you. And it's incredibly apt that we spend some time learning about ourselves through the lens of neuroscience. As an autistic ADHDer, my special interest became my health. When I experienced a full body shutdown over eight years ago, I dove deep into researching and learning all I could about the body. And. And I quickly realized that the mind was deeply tied to it. And through the nervous system, I found my bridge between the two. Biology and meaning, logic and wonder, measurable and mysterious. And it's a funny thing, when you start to learn about the mind body connection, you open a door to something even deeper. A space where science and spirit begin to meet. And it wasn't long before I realized I wasn't the only one to have found this intersection. So many brilliant minds were already exploring how science and spirituality converge. Cognitive scientist John Vervaeke puts it beautifully. He says the pursuit of wisdom is not about adding more information, it's about transforming the way you see the meaning. Crisis isn't solved by more information, but by better integration. And that's exactly what nervous system work does. It integrates us. Because when you learn about your nervous system, it transforms the way you see yourself. When I began to understand how my body and brain interacted, how my physical state shaped my perception of the world, everything changed. And this research is what helped to heal me from burnout and chronic insomnia and from years of pushing through exhaustion. And at the time, I was on a dangerous trajectory with both my physical and mental well being. And through all of this, I learned I had Ehlers Danlos syndrome and fibromyalgia and several other common comorbid conditions like POTS and mast cell activation syndrome. And then, in what felt like a second rebirth, I discovered I was autistic and my whole world turned upside down. But the glue that helped to put me back together, both physically and Emotionally was learning about the nervous system and how to work with it rather than against it. So you can think of your nervous system as the body's compass. It's how your body decides whether you are safe or in danger, even before your thinking brain catches up. And in learning about the body, we learn how it shapes our experience of the world and in turn, how our experience shapes the body. It's a conversation happening every moment. When we feel safe, our body expands into connection, presence, creativity, curiosity. And when we sense threat, either real or imagined, the body contracts, it prepares, it defends. And this isn't weakness or failure. It is biology doing its best to keep us alive. And for the neurodivergent soul, understanding the nervous system isn't just helpful, it is essential. Our brains and bodies are wired for deeper sensitivity. We quite literally, consciously take in more of the world, and that means we often live with a nervous system that's working overtime, scanning for safety in a world that can feel unpredictable or overwhelming. And neuroscience shows that autistic and ADHD brains process heightened sensory input and exhibit increased connectivity between neural networks, meaning we are constantly filtering, interpreting, and responding to a higher volume of sensory, emotional, and environmental data. For example, to a neurotypical person, a busy cafe might feel lively. But to a neurodivergent nervous system, it can feel like standing in the middle of a thunderstorm of sights and sounds and sensations. So while the neurotypical brain can naturally gate or filter out much of the background noise of life, ours lets in all of it. And this makes us exquisitely perceptive and creative and intuitive. But it also means our nervous systems can move into activation or overwhelm much more quickly. That's why learning to understand and soothe and work with our nervous system, it's not just self care. It's self preservation. It's how we create enough internal space to let our gifts shine without burning out in the process. So this month is all about understanding that system so that we can make friends with it. Because if we can learn to work with it, we can spend more time in the place where healing happens. Safe, connected, and grounded. So let's look at one of the simplest and most compassionate ways to understand your nervous system. The polyvagal ladder, created by Dr. Deb Dana. So your nervous system is not like a switch. It's more like a ladder. And every rung on that ladder changes how we feel and think and move and connect. So if you think of a ladder right now, section that ladder into thirds, top, middle, and bottom. With several rungs in each section at the top of the ladder, let's color code that top section, green. This is your rest and digest state. This is your parasympathetic system, the place of safety and connection. In this green section, you feel grounded and creative, engaged, curious. You feel connected to others. You taste your food, you enjoy music. You're present in your body. Your digestion and immune system both thrive here. And when we move down the ladder into the middle section, which will color code yellow, this is your sympathetic nervous system. And yes, within this state also holds fight or flight. This is activation energy. Your heart rate increases, your breath speeds up, and adrenaline floods the system. And it's not bad. It's the body mobilizing, getting up and going. At the top of this yellow section, if we were physically on this ladder, you could imagine having one foot in the green section and one foot in the yellow section. So you're up and moving, but you're still present and grounded. And this is really an ideal place to be during the day when we are up and participating actively with life. However, if we move further down into the yellow section and stay in that yellow section for an extended period of time, you might feel restless or irritable, anxious, overthinking, hyper focused. It's great for meeting deadlines or escaping danger, but it is not sustainable long term. And finally, at the bottom of the ladder is the red section. This is shutdown or freeze, where energy collapses inward. This is the body's last resort, conserving fuel, protecting from overwhelm. You might feel numb, disconnected, exhausted or detached. The world feels far away. You might want to hide or sleep or just stop altogether. And we all move up and down this ladder every day. It's dynamic. And the key is learning where you are and what helps you climb back up towards safety. And this is what we'll be learning about all month long. So for us neurodivergent folks, this ladder can be a little extra sensitive. We often live closer to the yellow zone, more easily triggered by sensory overwhelm, unpredictability or emotional intensity. And when our systems have been chronically pushed through masking or burnout or trauma, we can fall more easily into red too. And none of this means anything is wrong with you. It simply means that your body feels deeply. And that sensitivity, it's also your superpower. Because when you learn to listen to your body, to read the signals, to move between these states with care, that sensitivity becomes wisdom. You begin to live with rhythm and responsiveness instead of reaction. Now, your nervous system doesn't ask what's logical, only what's felt. And that means your environment, your sensory input, your memories, your relationships, all constantly send signals that shape your internal state, which then in turn shapes the lens through which you see the world. The smell of coffee, a certain song, a kind voice, these can instantly lift you, while harsh lighting or loud sounds or conflict can drop you down the ladder before you've even realized what's happening. And that's where awareness changes everything. When you begin to notice your state, to name it, to sense it, that's when you start to reclaim agency. Because this is what presence truly is. It's about dropping into witness mode, becoming the quiet observer of your inner weather and seeing what is. And in that gentle space of noticing, your body starts to settle. Because it realizes it's being seen, it's being heard, it's being met. This is the beginning of regulation. And this is the perfect opportunity for a little bite sized Buddhism. The Buddha taught that all suffering begins with aversion and attachment, our resistance to what is. When you notice your nervous system shifting, the heart racing, the shoulders tightening, the fog settling in, that noticing itself is presence. You're no longer lost in it, you're observing it. So rather than judging yourself or being stressed or shut down, try this. Place your hand on your heart and quietly say, ah yellow or ah, red. Name the state with compassion. That small act moves you closer to green, closer to safety. Because awareness is regulation. Labeling thoughts and feelings is a common meditation technique to help you let go of attachment and drop you into presence. But you don't have to be meditating to use it. In fact, when we are overwhelmed, dropping back and beginning to label your feelings is a brilliant technique to calming your nervous system. And moving back into my own story of regulation this research I've been doing, this embodied understanding became the glue that helped put me back together. After burnout and insomnia and chronic pushing through exhaustion. Learning about the nervous system didn't just heal my body, it helped me to understand my story. And perhaps most importantly, it gave me a language of self compassion. So if you're listening today and you feel exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed or numb, know that there is nothing wrong with you. Your nervous system isn't broken, it's just trying to protect you. And that means you're working exactly as you were designed to. And stay with the podcast, because all this month you'll learn the best tools to help you shift your state. So neuroscience shows us that safety isn't a thought, it's a felt sense. It lives in your breath, your posture, your facial muscles, your tone of voice, even the way you literally look at the world with wide, soft eyes versus tunnel vision signals to your brain whether you're safe or not. And this is where mindfulness and nervous system science meet perfectly. Presence is an abstract, it's embodied science. Your nervous system shapes how you experience everything from food and friendship to creativity and love. And when it's dysregulated, the world feels unsafe, unpredictable and overwhelming. And when it's regulated, you can feel present, resilient, open to connection. It's what allows you to say, I can handle this, even when things are uncertain. And here is the most beautiful part. You can train it. Like any muscle, your nervous system learns through repetition, through practice, compassion and curiosity. Each breath, each gentle noticing, each act of care rewires your baseline towards safety. The nervous system is not your enemy. It's your ally, constantly trying to protect you. And by learning its language, you can guide it home. So how do we learn that language? Through sensation. The body speaks in the language of tightness, warmth, fluttering heaviness, breath, heartbeat. When you pause and tune in without judgment, you begin to translate what your nervous system is saying. Ask yourself gently, where am I on the ladder right now? Green? Yellow? Red? And then ask, what does this state need? Maybe it's movement, maybe it's stillness, maybe connection. Your body already knows. And there's a beautiful paradox in this work, that something so scientific can also feel so sacred. Because what you're really doing, when you regulate your nervous system, it's coming home. Each breath becomes a reminder that you are here, that life is happening now, that safety isn't always found out there. It's cultivated in here. And here's something small but powerful to try this week. When you notice you're in yellow or red, don't rush to fix it. Instead, place one hand on your chest and one on your belly and take a slow breath in through your nose and exhale out with a sigh. And then say to yourself, I'm safe enough to notice this. That single phrase is like striking a match in the dark. It tells your body, we're home now. And your microdose of meaning this week is this notice one moment each day when your body feels safe. It might be your morning tea or your dog's sigh, or a warm patch of sunlight on your hand. Just name it, feel it, let it land. Those micro moments are rewiring your brain for calm. And as you go about your week, keep microdosing, Meaning find one moment that feels safe. And let yourself soak in it. That's not indulgence, that's nervous system training. And as we head into today's practice, if you are currently driving or operating heavy machinery, please make sure to pause the recording until you can safely come back into stillness. And just take a moment to arrive. Now is the time to simply be. Just find a comfortable position. You can be sitting or lying down and let your hands rest softly where they fall and begin to notice your breath. Inhaling gently through the nose and exhaling slowly through the mouth. A long sigh of release. And with every breath out, feel your body begin to settle. The world outside can wait for now. There is only this moment. Let your jaw release and your shoulders drop, your belly soften, each breath taking you deeper into presence. Good. That's right. And now, in the quiet of your inner world, imagine that before you stands a ladder. A tall, gentle ladder made of light, with red at the base, yellow in the middle, and green at the top. This ladder is the map of your inner landscape, the language of your body made visible. Let's begin our journey. As you find yourself standing at the bottom of the ladder, at the red zone. And here, the air feels thick and heavy and time moves slowly. You might feel far away, disconnected, like the world is happening somewhere else. And just notice how your body feels here. Perhaps a kind of stillness, or maybe a numbness that protects you when life feels too much. This is your system's way of saying, I'm conserving energy. I'm trying to keep you safe. Just take a breath here and whisper softly to yourself. It's okay to be here. This, too, is part of me. And with that kindness, you feel a small spark awaken within, a readiness to rise. And with your next breath, begin to climb the ladder upwards. And the red fades into golden yellow, a color alive with energy and motion and possibility. And here, your heart might beat a little faster and your breath might quicken slightly. This is the sympathetic state, your body saying, I'm ready to act. I am alive. Feel the energy of life pulsing through you, A river of light flowing from your heart to your hands. This is the same energy that helps you get out of bed, speak your truth, chase your dreams. But like all rivers, it must have its rhythm. Movement followed by stillness, action followed by rest. Take a deep inhale through your nose, and as you exhale, whisper to yourself, I can hold this energy with ease. And if the yellow feels too bright too fast, know that you can move through it, step by step, toward balance. Now picture yourself rising up The Ladder once again. But this time you're bridging two sections with one foot in the yellow space and one foot in the green above. You are the bridge between doing and being, between action and awareness. Here you are alert and calm, engaged and grounded. You feel capable, centered, and let your breath become slow and even, a quiet rhythm that carries you into. Into the next step, another step up, fully entering the Green Zone, the sanctuary of rest and digest, the home of safety and connection. And here, the air feels soft and luminous. The light is dappled, like sunlight through leaves. You can feel your heart slow to a gentle, natural pace. And your breath lengthens. And your mind feels spacious, curious, open. You are safe here. Stay here for a few moments. Each breath deepens your sense of belonging. Each exhale releases another layer of tension you didn't even know you were holding. Good. That's right. And now imagine gently moving down the Ladder, not as a fall, but as a flow. And with each step, you realize something profound. That you can move between these states with grace. That none of them are wrong. That they are simply messages from your body. Step down into yellow. Feel the life force there, the spark that makes you human. Yes, things like anxiety live here, but so do things like excitement and giddiness and moving down again into red. And instead of resistance, feel the quiet wisdom that lives here. A deep, ancient stillness. The winter of your inner seasons. And now begin to rise again on the Ladder, moving upward through the warmth of yellow and then into the green glow of peace. This movement is the dance of your nervous system, expanding and contracting, activating and releasing like the breath of the Earth itself and bringing awareness now to your heart. Notice the rhythm there. Steady, ancient patient. This is your body's anchor, the heartbeat that has been with you through every state, every rung of the Ladder. Whisper quietly to yourself. I am safe enough to feel. I am fluid enough to change. I am wise enough to listen. Just rest in this truth for a few breaths. No need to move. No need to fix. Just breathe. And when you're ready, begin to bring awareness back to your surroundings. And feel the weight of your body supported beneath you. Notice the air on your skin, the sounds around you. And when you feel ready, not a moment before, feel free to gently open your eyes. And know that the latter still lives within you. An invisible bridge between your body and your mind, your breath and your soul. You carry it everywhere. And you always have the power to climb. Thank you so much for joining me on this first episode of our November series, Neuroscience and the Neurodivergent nervous system. And next week we'll be exploring how to befriend the body, learning the language of safety and self soothing and discovering practical ways to regulate through touch sound connection. And if you'd like to go deeper into nervous system healing, you can find more guided meditations and yoga Nidras bedtime stories and courses on my Insight Timer channel. Just search for Ashley Bentley and I have a 14 day nervous system regulation mastery course on there that is a real deep dive into mastering your internal state to transform your external experience. Until next time. May you meet your sensations with curiosity, your breath with kindness and your body with love.
- [35:57]
Sleep Number Representative
Why Choose a Sleep Number Smart Bed.
- [35:59]
Ashley Bentley
Can I make my sight softer?
- [36:00]
Advertisement Voice
Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler?
- [36:04]
Sleep Number Representative
Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side your sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. And now max out your savings. The more you buy, the more you save on beds, bases and more. Plus get free home delivery on any smart bed with base limited time. Check it out at a Sleep Number store near you or@sleepnumber.com today.
- [36:27]
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- [36:59]
Ashley Bentley
Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Add a little curiosity into your routine with TED Talks Daily, the podcast that brings you a new TED Talk every weekday. In less than 15 minutes a day, you'll go beyond the headlines and learn about the big ideas shaping your future. Coming up how AI will change the way we communicate, how to be a better leader and more. Listen to TED Talks Daily Wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
- [37:37]
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