Podcast Summary

The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: Passionate, Not Aggressive: Why Neurodivergent Passion Is So Often Misinterpreted
Hosts: Jordan James & Simon Scott
Date: December 25, 2025

Overview

This episode explores the misinterpretation of neurodivergent passion—how intense enthusiasm, interest, or emotion from autistic and ADHD individuals is often perceived as aggression, arrogance, or rudeness. Jordan and Simon use their personal experiences—as friends, advocates, and members of neurodivergent families—to expose common misunderstandings, share strategies for clearer communication, and foster greater empathy between neurodivergent and neurotypical listeners.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Neurodivergent Passion vs. Neurotypical Interpretation

• Passion as Misunderstood Energy

  • Neurodivergent “passion” arises from deep interests, special interests, intense data-gathering, and bottom-up processing.
  • In neurotypical (NT) spaces, this is often seen as “aggressive” or “overbearing.”
  • Jordan: “I feel like Lego in a Meccano world... People aren't getting me. And that's, you know, that is why when I met neurodivergent people, especially ones with the same interests as me, it was... I’m home, I've met my people.” (07:22)

• Oversharing and Openness

  • ND folks often share openly and quickly, which can be jarring in NT social settings.
  • Simon: “If I'm passionate about something, you will get a gist of that pretty, pretty quickly.” (08:28)

Negative Labels & Stereotypes

• Common Labels Applied Unfairly

  • Arrogant, patronizing, overseller, exaggerator, aggressive, drama queen/king, bully.
  • These often come from misunderstanding directness, enthusiasm, or blunt expression.

• Quotes:

  • Simon: “I've been described as arrogant. I've been described as like an asshole. I've been patronizing. I've been an overseller or an exaggerator.” (23:10)
  • Jordan: “American people always think that I'm arrogant. And I think that I'm. I know everything. I mean, I do. And that's the problem...” (09:09)

The Role of Communication Styles

• Literal vs. Nuanced Communication

  • ND people often state opinions as facts—partly due to thinking patterns—and can miss using “I think” or “in my opinion.”
  • Inner monologues sometimes become spoken abruptly, creating conversational “jumps” that NTs find confusing.

• Misread Social Cues

  • Both hosts share stories about being accused of rudeness or bullying when simply having a strong (but unemotional) disagreement.
  • Jordan: “I've been called a bully simply because I had [an] opinion that differed from someone else... I literally just said I disagreed.” (29:08)

Disappointment, Expectations, and Emotional Regulation

• High Expectations and Let-Downs

  • ND passion often leads to intense excitement and, when expectations aren’t met (in pop culture, sports, or life), bigger emotional crashes.
  • Simon: “A lot of times in my life I felt like a spoiled child with how I've reacted or responded to things. And...I've been told I'm aggressive.” (25:54)

• Anger Issues vs. Passion

  • Jordan distinguishes between his past anger issues (“a mental health thing, formed when I was a child”) and his continued passionate expression.

  • Improvement in emotional regulation has helped reduce misinterpretations, but intense expression still draws labels.

  • Jordan: “I'm always going to be a fiery person. I'm always going to come across sometimes as being aggressive and I don't mean to. And that is different from anger. That is just my natural dominance as a person coming through.” (32:59)

Online Misinterpretation & Written Communication

• Text and Social Media

  • Written words strip away tone, leading to even more misinterpretation.

  • Both hosts have found that helpful feedback (especially when honest) is regularly taken as criticism or an attack.

  • Jordan: “She was so angry at me. She was like, you've made me want to give up on photography… people don't really want help. People just want to be told that they're good at something.” (51:39)

  • Simon: “I've had it with podcasting though, dude... Oh, but I don't like labels. Like, are you left handed or right handed? I'm right handed. I thought you said you don't like labels.” (52:03)

• Within Friendships

  • Even Jordan and Simon have misunderstood each other in written messages, leading to unnecessary tension:

    • Simon: “Genuinely, I think every single time you and I have ever had friction, it's because we've misinterpreted a written message from each other…” (54:05)

  • Adopting voice notes or real-time conversations has helped.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Belonging:
  “I feel like Lego in a Meccano world, you know, that I'm just not sticking to anything. People aren't getting me... when I met neurodivergent people... it just felt like this is where I belong.”
  —Jordan James (07:22)

• On Accusations of Aggression:
  “I've been called a bully simply because I had an opinion that differed from someone else. And I was like, well, I just disagree with you. And like, oh, I feel attacked by you. ... I literally just said I disagreed.”
  —Jordan James (29:08)

• On Written Communication:
  “There have been times where you and I have got frustrated or upset with each other. And genuinely… it's because we've misinterpreted a written message from each other, which is why we ring each other or sometimes send voice notes…”
  —Simon Scott (54:05)

• On Growth and Acceptance:
  “That's been such a progression of healing for you, man. It's been great to see.”
  —Simon Scott (59:37)

  “I don't beat the out of myself anymore for just being me. I'm just. I'm just me.”
  —Simon Scott (64:12)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Introduction & Banter
  02:33–06:23: Introductions, warm-up, Christmas humor, film talk

• Main Discussion Begins:
  06:23–08:28: Framing the episode—ND passion, data-gathering, bottom-up processing

• Misinterpretation in Social Settings:
  08:28–17:40: Oversharing, being called arrogant/patronizing, family dynamics, support and “I told you so” moments

• ND Passion Is Not Aggression:
  23:10–34:32: Labels, disappointment, the line between anger and passion, sports/pop culture & emotional impact

• Navigating Friendships & Emotional Growth:
  41:08–46:59: De-escalating conflict, choosing when to stay quiet, impact on work and advocacy

• Online Written Misinterpretation:
  48:58–56:04: Advice gone wrong, social media advocacy, text misunderstandings

• Personal Growth & Strategies:
  57:56–63:30: Anger management, practical examples, new communication habits

• Reflections on Friendship & Healing:
  63:33–64:23: Mutual support, how podcasting and friendship have enabled healing and self-acceptance

Tone & Style

The conversation is candid, warm, and humorous—balancing self-deprecation, banter, and sincerity. Both hosts make clear distinctions between intent and impact, and emphasize self-awareness, growth, and the joy of finding “your people.”

Key Takeaways

• Neurodivergent passion is often misread as aggression, arrogance, or rudeness because of different processing, communication, and emotional expression styles.
• Misinterpretation can happen both with neurotypicals and within the ND community itself, especially around directness and expression of opinions.
• Written communication strips away tone and body language, leading to more frequent misunderstandings, especially online.
• Growth in emotional regulation, self-acceptance, and clearer communication benefits both personal and professional relationships.
• Finding people who "get you" is healing; so are open conversations like this podcast.

Closing Reflection

Both hosts express gratitude for the growth they've experienced through their relationship and the show:

“Doing this and sharing our experiences with you, the listener... has definitely helped me vocalize a lot of stuff going on in my head... it's really just like normalized my everyday experience... I'm just me.”
—Simon Scott (63:41, 64:12)

For Further Reflection

• Have you experienced your own passion being mistaken for aggression or rudeness?
• How do you handle misinterpretation—at work, online, or with family?
• What helps you clarify intent, or repair after misunderstandings?

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