The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: Stimming Explained: Types, Triggers & the Good and Bad

Hosts: Jordan James & Simon Scott
Date: March 26, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The Neurodivergent Experience dives deep into the world of "stimming"—short for self-stimulatory behavior—breaking down the different types of stims, why neurodivergent people stim, the good and the not-so-good elements, and how stimming is misunderstood by neurotypicals. With candid lived-experience chat and plenty of personal anecdotes, Jordan and Simon explore how stimming helps regulate emotions, manage anxiety, express joy, and sometimes cause difficulty in social situations—especially when misunderstood. The show is warm, honest, and laced with humor and validation.

Main Themes & Purpose

• Defining Stimming: What it is, how it manifests in daily life, and why it's crucial for neurodivergent people.
• Types of Stims: A breakdown of the most common forms—visual, auditory, tactile, vestibular (movement), and oral.
• Personal Experiences: The hosts share how stimming shows up for them and their loved ones.
• Stimming as Regulation: Exploring when stimming is a helpful self-regulation strategy and when it can become harmful.
• Self-Acceptance, Family & Communication: Dealing with stims in relationships, especially when there are misunderstandings.
• A Story of a Harmful Verbal Stim: How stress and sensory overload can manifest in stims that inadvertently hurt others.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stimming Defined and Misunderstood (08:02–09:08)

• Stimming Basics:

  • Repetitive movements, sounds, or behaviors that help stimulate the senses and regulate emotions.
  • "It's a common thing for like most people, but it's more pronounced and acts more like a coping mechanism for us ND folk." – Jordan (08:09)
  • Used to manage anxiety, sensory overload, express emotions, and sometimes simply joy.

• Misunderstandings:

  • Many neurotypicals see stimming as "weird" or "disruptive" rather than as essential regulatory behavior.

2. Types of Stims and Personal Examples (09:09–39:34)

a. Visual Stims (09:09–15:43)

• Common Examples: Staring at objects, flicking fingers, lining up items, spinning objects.
• Personal Notes:
  • Jordan: Loves fidget spinners—"It looks like I'm not paying attention, but it actually is the reason I'm paying attention." (10:25)
  • Simon: Finds staring at objects helps him process information during conversations. (10:52)
  • Both hosts describe lining up items or making things symmetrical—often mistaken for OCD but actually a self-soothing stim:
    • "It isn't OCD. It is a stim. It is a relaxation method of creating a control around your environment." – Jordan (13:38)

b. Auditory Stims (15:43–19:36)

• What it Looks Like: Humming, echoing phrases, singing or listening to the same sounds, lines, or songs on repeat.
• Quotes & Moments:
  • "Cartman from South Park" and "Sheldon from Big Bang Theory" used as pop culture touchstones.
  • Simon: "We're just constantly...whole conversations in echolalia. Sometimes it's like one of the ones that's crept into mine and when I'm really tired and I go a bit non-verbal, I do get a bit 'ohhh'." (17:12)
  • Houses filled with mini-songs for pets; comfort in repetitive sounds.

c. Tactile Stims (23:35–28:44)

• Common Examples: Rubbing skin or beards, scratching hair, twirling or tapping objects, cracking knuckles or joints.
• Notable Discussion:
  • Simon: Talks about how his dad rubs his hairline as a stim, wonders if it contributed to balding. (25:49)
  • "I crack my neck constantly. It is an absolute stim...when that pop goes off, it's like a stone hitting a pool." – Jordan (25:49)
  • Gendered stimming: beards vs. hair twirling; using jewelry or rings to fidget.

d. Vestibular/Movement Stims (28:44–33:40)

• What it Looks Like: Rocking, pacing, jumping, spinning (self).
• Fun Anecdotes:
  • Both hosts pace while on the phone and find it nearly impossible to sit still.
  • Dad dancing is identified as an unconscious movement stim. (30:25)
  • "I will be the first person to get up and just be like, I don't give a f***. Your ability to not care is wild." – Jordan (32:35)

e. Oral Stims (33:40–39:34)

• Forms it Takes: Chewing pens, biting lips or nails, sucking on clothing or hair, chewing gum.
• Harmful Stims:
  • Jordan discusses biting himself as a self-harm stim, rooted in trauma:
    • "I bite myself...to suppress my anger, but also to punish myself because I did something wrong...it's just in me, I cannot get rid of it." (38:30)
  • Simon: Severe lip biting; self-injury as regulation gone awry. (36:08)
  • Use of replacement stims—chewing gum, teething toys, biting a soft plush bumblebee. (42:27)

3. The Good and the Bad: When Stimming Helps—And When It Harms (41:19–54:19)

• Helpful Stims:

  • Regulation for overwhelm, anxiety, sensory overload.
  • Aids in processing and expressing emotions when words struggle or fail.

• When Stims Hurt:

  • Harmful self-soothing (self-injury; biting).
  • Verbal stims that cause unintentional hurt—blurting out thoughts which can damage relationships, especially under stress or fatigue.

• Case Study: "The Flowers Incident" (43:48–54:19)

  • Setup: Jordan, tired and overworked, blurts out to his daughter Sophie, “Mummy doesn’t like flowers,” just after Sophie lovingly brings flowers home for Sylvia. (46:33)
  • Spirals: The comment leads to tears, misunderstanding, and a family discussion about stimming, intent vs. impact, and healing after a verbal misstep.
  • Reflection:
    • "My brain is just gonna keep talking. I know this will hurt her, and I don't want to say it, but it comes out anyway." – Jordan (47:13)
    • Sophie’s response displays emotional maturity—removing herself, then calmly discussing feelings later.
    • Jordan acknowledges the importance of separating intention from impact and the value of self-reflection and repair:
      • "It doesn't mean that I'm never going to do it again...but my reaction to her reaction will now be different, because I know." (54:19)
  • Lesson: Harmful stims are part of the neurodivergent experience, but self-awareness and open dialogue can foster healthier coping and family understanding.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "People don't speak stim. So maybe we can try and help them speak stim." – Jordan (08:50)
• "I feel like I can process listening and take information in if my brain isn't putting energy into looking at something. It's like it goes into screensaver mode." – Simon (10:52)
• "A relaxation method of creating control around your environment—because we are so out of control so often, we try and create as much control as possible." – Jordan (13:38)
• "It's not OCD, it's a stim. Not every dancer is autistic, but dancing is a form of stimming because it feels good." – Jordan (29:57 & 30:52)
• "When autistic individuals verbalize internal thoughts, phrases, or monologues uncontrollably...it's a way to regulate sensory overload, process information, manage anxiety." – Jordan, on harmful/compulsive verbal stimming (42:27)
• "Having the knowledge and the words and the patience of understanding yourself helps...it's not tit for tat and it's personal. It's trying to find understanding and learning about your significant others." – Simon (54:19)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• What is Stimming? – 08:02–09:08
• Types of Stims & Personal Examples – 09:09–39:34
  • Visual (09:09), Auditory (15:43), Tactile (23:35), Vestibular/Movement (28:44), Oral (33:40)
• The Good and Bad: Regulation vs. Harm – 41:19–54:19
  • The "Flowers Incident" & Verbal Stims – (43:48–54:19)
• Lessons & Encouragement for Listeners – 54:20–56:16

Closing Notes: Tone, Takeaways, and Listener Engage

• Tone: Warm, validating, candid, humorous, sometimes raw, always honest.
• Takeaway: Stimming is a core part of most neurodivergent lives. It can be positive, necessary, and healthy—but can also become harmful, especially if left misunderstood, unaddressed, or mislabelled. Self-awareness and communication are key, both individually and within families or social circles.
• Call to Action: Listeners are encouraged to notice their own stims, explore what helps, and open dialogue about it with loved ones or within the neurodivergent community:
  • "I'm interested to know, listeners—how do you stim? Is any of this suddenly been a big light bulb moment for you?" – Simon (54:19)

For more lived-experience insights, follow The Neurodivergent Experience on your favorite pod platform or social media. You’re not alone.