When Your Hyperfixation Starts Hurting Your Relationship

Summary

---

The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: When Your Hyperfixation Starts Hurting Your Relationship
Hosts: Jordan James & Simon Scott
Release Date: April 1, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this candid episode, Jordan and Simon explore the impact of neurodivergent hyperfixations—those intense, passionate interests—on romantic relationships. Using a compelling Reddit story as a jump-off, they reflect on their own experiences, discuss boundaries and communication, and bring humor and warmth to the messy, real-life challenges of navigating special interests when sharing life with someone else. This episode is especially relevant for listeners who wrestle with maintaining relationships alongside their neurodivergent passions.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Lived-Experience Introduction & The Reality of Passion Fatigue

• Opening banter sets the neurodivergent, authentic tone (02:18-03:59).

  • Both hosts are exhausted but passionate about their work and interests.
  • Simon discusses the burnout that comes with juggling multiple projects and the difficulty in "switching off."

    “I'm currently in the process of editing, recording, and producing, like, three other podcasts ... It’s really hard when you have finite energy and you get burnt out and... just got a life outside your job.” (03:59-04:26)

• Non-verbal Shutdowns: Simon shares about having periods where he goes non-verbal due to exhaustion (04:35-05:16).

  • Importance of recognizing one’s own limits:

    “I'm just having periods where I just do not have the energy to formulate words. I can type... but if somebody physically asks me a question, I just go—” (05:07)

---

2. The Reddit Story: Hyperfixation and Relationship Strain

A Wrestling Obsession Goes Too Far

[07:00-13:19]

• Jordan reads a story about a woman (26F) whose husband (33M) has become hyperfixated on professional wrestling, spending excessive time, money, and emotional energy on it (07:00-13:20).

  • Escalation includes yelling at the TV, constant quoting (echolalia), role-play requests, spending sprees, mood swings, and disappointment over match outcomes.

• Quotes & Commentary:

  • Jordan:

    “Oh, the neurodivergence is showing.” (08:28)

  • Simon:

    “He might be my hero... I with this guy.” (09:38)

  • Jordan:

    “He asked me to refer to him as the final boss all weekend. Okay, this is where I’m losing him.” (09:43)

• Reflection on behavior: The hosts immediately identify neurodivergent experiences (autistic/ADHD traits) in the story, such as hyperfixation, echolalia (“yeet! Acknowledge me!”), and emotional dysregulation after losses.

• Painful Humor: The scenario prompts both laughter and cringing as the underlying problem becomes clear: lack of balance and poor communication.

---

3. Relating the Story to Personal Experiences

[13:36-22:09]

• Empathy for Both Sides:

  • Jordan:

    “I really, really feel sorry for both these people… if she did understand neurodivergence… she might just be like, well, at least I know why it’s happening.” (13:45-14:02)

    • Suggests lack of neurodivergent understanding exacerbates the distress.

• Simon’s Wrestling Fandom:

  • Shares his own intense but more moderated wrestling fandom with his partner, Caris (15:22-18:45).

  • Acknowledges compromise and self-regulation:

    “I used to want to stay up and watch them at one in the morning till four... now I watch it in the morning... adjusted it so I can still have my hobby but align it more with where my partner is.” (17:18-17:43)

  • On relationships pre- and post-neurodivergent self-awareness:

    “I entered the previous relationship... not knowing I was neurodivergent. On Caris and my first date, I said... ‘I watch wrestling. It's non-negotiable; this is who I am.’ And I learned the language because I understood myself better.” (19:43-20:12)

• Healthy Special Interests vs. Hyperfixations:

  • Differentiating between having a passion and letting it dominate life/relationships.
  • Simon highlights the value of open, honest communication about needs and boundaries.
  • Jordan notes that sometimes, both partners might be neurodivergent, possibly intensifying clashes.

---

4. Real-Life Examples: Hyperfixations in Hosts’ Relationships

Personal Stories & The Fallout/Resolution Cycle

[23:16-43:33]

• Jordan on Photography & Toys:

  • Describes photography starting as a hyperfixation that eventually became a profession (24:15-25:33).
  • Talks about his extensive toy collections (Funko Pops, action figures, nostalgia items) and partner Sylvia’s strong discomfort with clutter and “useless” objects (27:23-29:16).

    "My toys have my purpose because I literally get to look at them and they just make me so fucking happy." (28:13)

• Household Clashes:

  • The friction when a new toy or Pop arrives (30:19-31:16).
  • Attempts at humorously “gaslighting” partner into believing toys have always been there or that a plush is “just a pillow” (32:09-33:12).

• Compromise and Repair:

  • After a disagreement over toy clutter, Jordan packs everything away, gets sad, and then Sylvia goes out to buy shelves, creating a new solution (38:30-38:53).

  “She just went non-speaking... Her reaction was, okay, I’m gonna sort this out by, rather than talking about it, doing something about it. Whereas I'm a talker, she's a doer.” (38:29-38:34)

  • Emotional journey from conflict, overreaction (“putting everything in the loft”), and reconciling with organization and compromise.
  • Simon relates with his own struggles with letting go of unused items and the guilt associated.

---

5. Reflection: Setting Boundaries, Mutual Understanding, and Letting Go

[43:33-56:44]

• Simon’s Memorabilia Tendencies:

  • “I am a magpie for memorabilia” — collecting hats, golf gear, etc., and the expensive, impulsive edge of new "wants" (47:01-49:01).

• Jordan on Basketball Merch Mania:

  • Admits a period of “all-in” hyperfixation with jerseys and gear, before self-imposing limits (49:19-49:41).

• Healthy Boundaries:

  • Clear distinction between a nourishing special interest vs. a disruptive hyperfixation.
  • The importance of self-awareness and partner communication.
  • Recognizing triggers relating to childhood trauma and possessions.

---

6. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Don't let [your hobby] be everything... magicians are cool but don't let it just be your only thing.” – Simon (15:22)
• “I will get rid of every toy I own to make you happy if it really means it, but it will make me sad if I do it.” – Jordan (34:42)
• “We make compromise. Because, you know, I have to admit, there's nothing that she loves that interferes with my life. It's definitely mostly the other way.” – Jordan (29:45)
• “If something’s in the loft, what’s the point in having it?... I’m more inclined to just let them go.” – Simon (39:46)
• “I have to go and put an item in the loft... I’m more inclined to just let them go or to get rid of them or give them to somebody else. I know that’s not for everybody.” – Simon (40:34)
• “I'm a mini hoarder. No. No to no, Sylvia.” – Jordan (43:18)
• “[Hyperfixations] can really, really [affect relationships]. It's good to be able to communicate and have awareness on them for sure.” – Simon (59:49)

---

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:18 – 05:35: Authentic conversation about burnout, non-verbal shutdowns, and passion “overflow”.
• 07:00 – 13:19: Reading and analysis of the wrestling Reddit story (hyperfixation impacts).
• 15:22 – 18:45: Simon's lived experience with balancing special interests and relationships.
• 23:16 – 29:16: Jordan’s personal examples of hyperfixations clashing with partner’s preferences.
• 38:30 – 38:53: Shelf solution & compromise after conflict.
• 47:01 – 49:41: Simon and Jordan on expensive hobby habits and self-imposed boundaries.
• 54:32 – 55:33: How hyperfixations morph and overlap with special interests; examples from Star Wars and Stranger Things phases.
• 59:49 – 60:44: Closing reflections, listener call-to-action for sharing their own experiences.

---

Closing Thoughts & Takeaways

• Hyperfixations are a deeply neurodivergent experience, often providing joy and comfort, but they can become “too much”—negatively impacting relationships and shared living spaces.
• Understanding, communication, and compromise are essential. Both guests show vulnerability in admitting faults, repairing, and creating healthier dynamics.
• Humor, self-reflection, and acceptance—alongside acknowledging trauma/triggers—are powerful tools for navigating neurodivergent relationships.

Listener Call-to-Action:
Simon encourages listeners to reflect and write in about their own hyperfixations and how they’ve impacted their relationships, highlighting the importance of validating these lived experiences within the neurodivergent community.

---

The episode is a warm, raw, and practical exploration of the lines between passion, obsession, and partnership for neurodivergent people—and a reminder that it’s possible to find joy, connection, and balance with the right support and self-awareness.

Transcript

[Bachelor Clues]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Chase Sapphire Reserve Announcer]

This is the exclusive table with the view. This is your name on the list. This is three times points on dining with Chase Sapphire reserve and a $300 dining credit chase Sapphire Reserve now even more rewarding.

[Bachelor Clues]

Learn [e-mail] SapphireServe cards by JP Morgan Chase bank and a member FDIC subject

[Simon Scott]

to credit approval ACAST powers the World's Best Podcasts Here's a show that we recommend

[Pace Case]

hey, it's Christy and I'm Kelly. You might remember us as the OG Partners in Crime from Dance Moms. Well, this is Back to the Bar,

[Simon Scott]

the podcast where we drag out every

[Pace Case]

insane, chaotic and iconic moment from the show. We're spilling the tea, calling out all the BS and sharing stuff you definitely didn't see on tv.

[Jordan James]

New episodes drop every week and yes, we're laughing through the drama for once.

[Pace Case]

Follow Grab a drink and join us as we go back to the bar.

[Simon Scott]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.

[Jordan James]

Welcome to the neurodivergent Experience Podcast. A podcast where we share the lived experiences of neurodivergent people to help create a better understanding for our community.

[Simon Scott]

Join us every week as we bring you honest, raw and inspiring conversations with specialists, advocates and individuals who know exactly what it's like to live the neurodivergent experience.

[Jordan James]

I'm Jordan James, a neurodivergent specialist, father of neurodivergent children, husband to a neurodivergent wife, and author of the Autistic Experience. And I'm joined by my best friend.

[Simon Scott]

I'm Simon Scott. I'm an autistic ADHD broadcaster, actor and advocate. Join us as we journey into unraveling the neurodivergent experience.

[Jordan James]

Hello. Hello everyone. How are you doing? Scotty? My buddy, my bro.

[Simon Scott]

Well, thank you. That's how autistic people respond to asking how they are, isn't it?

[Jordan James]

Yeah, it's a weird way. I'm just like, I'm starting the show like this and and then I'm thinking about how am I starting to show? Am I doing it correctly? Because we have the intro which we pre recorded and then I'm realizing maybe I'm doubling the intro and I'm Rethink. You know, I'm just.

[Simon Scott]

It's not like you to overthink what you're saying, is it?

[Jordan James]

You know, I'm just. I just can't. I can't help it. I'm. I'm a. I'm a perfectionist, but also a rambler. But. Yeah, so. But also, like, I used to just start the show just talking about everything that's happening to me, which was wonderful, and I'm sure everybody's loved it. And then I was like, oh, yeah, I. Scotty's alive. And. And he. He also does things. In fact, I think you do more things than I do. Oh, I don't know about that because you are. Look, I have been trying to get many guests. Hopefully we'll have quite a few coming up soon. Hopefully. But in general, you. You're. You're a busy man.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, it's getting that way. It's getting that way, dude.

[Jordan James]

I'm less busy. I'm sort of working behind the scenes with various little things, making acquaintances and stuff. But you, You. You're in the grind and.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, I'm tired.

[Jordan James]

It's again, I'm very tired.

[Simon Scott]

This is the thing of. When you are so passionate about what you do, it's really hard to switch off. I'm currently in the process of editing, recording, and producing, like, three other podcasts for the Autistic Culture Podcast Network, which we will soon be a part of. That's also on my jobs list to do. Thank you. That's everybody else. Everybody keeps asking. It's all on my list of jobs to do. But it's also really hard when you have finite energy and you get burnt out and you've also just got a life outside of your job. It's really hard to juggle everything. Yeah, I'm so tired. And it's also like in. In the nicest way possible. It's really hard to keep everything going because, like, I'll have people that will message me on WhatsApp that I genuinely really want to speak to, and I just do not have the spoons. And a lot of what I'm responding with at the moment, which isn't uncommon for me, but it's happening more often than it used to do, is going non verbal. I'm just having periods where I just do not have the energy to formulate words. I can type, I can sit at a desk and type, but if somebody physically asks me a question, I just go

[Jordan James]

doing chicken impression.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, genuinely, like, I feel like I walk into so many conversations at the moment I'm like, hello, how are you? I'm fine, thank you. What are we here for? Yeah, but I am loving life. It's just. Oh yeah, it's crazy busy. It's crazy, crazy busy. But my hyper fixations help.

[Jordan James]

Yes. See this, this is what we're here to talk about. So I've, I've got another story as I did last week, family related. There's a lot of people in my house, but I also heard a story on Reddit. One of my favorite things to listen to on a podcast. Love, love a bit of Reddit stories. And yeah, so I heard this story and immediately I was like, the person they're talking about is neurodivergent. And I thought, this man is just trapped in his hyper fixation. And I could almost definitely relate. And I know that you could too. So I thought for a little bit of a change we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna do this Reddit story and, and then we're gonna talk about it and then we're gonna give our shout on it and our experience on it. And yeah, that's, that's what we're doing this week. So let me, let me start by reading the story. Now, if you never heard Reddit before, you've never done Reddit before or anything like that. Everybody normally, normally gives their ages and gender.

[Simon Scott]

Was it like omegle? You like age, sex, location, you have to do the whole.

[Jordan James]

Yes. So here goes. Right? My, this lady who's, who's written the post, who's 26, female husband, who is a 33 year old male, is obsessed with pro wrestling and it's ruining our marriage. Do I leave? Oh, my husband was into pro wrestling as a kid, fell out of it, but over the last few years has eased back into it. I've never been a pro wrestling fan. I thought it was something that people watched the kids and grew out of. But he has become obsessed and it's escalating to the point where I no longer feel comfortable. Apologies, as I may not get all the terms right. I'll. I'm exposed to wrestling a lot, but I try to avoid watching. Started harmless enough. He'd watched the pay per view events like WrestleMania. Then he started watching recaps of the week's shows. Now he's glued to the couch. Every night there's a live pro wrestling event. He watches multiple wrestling shows, not just wwe. Oh, he started spending money. I mean a lot of money. Oh, I know this one on merchandise. T shirts, hats, Action figures, the fake belts, etc. I was okay.

[Simon Scott]

Belts are very cool, though. They are very cool. They are very cool.

[Jordan James]

I was okay with this as it was nice to see his passion reignited for something. He's been in a rough spot with work lately, but now pro wrestling is the only thing he cares about. Oh, the neurodivergence is showing.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, my TM's powers are tingling.

[Jordan James]

She goes on. He yells at the TV like he's part of the crowd, cheering or booing when he's watching. And when he's not watching, he constantly shouts out their catchphrases randomly echolalia. He says things like, yeet. Acknowledge me. You can't see me. Etc.

[Simon Scott]

I've done that particular because I do that. I do this without watching wrestling.

[Jordan James]

This might actually be Scotty.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, well, does it say that they're in Liverpool because Caris has gone to work? She's coming back, right?

[Jordan James]

Maybe, maybe. I think this is actually in England. He actually gets irritated if I don't play along with him. Like, if I don't raise my hand when he says, acknowledge me.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, my God, this dude might be my hero.

[Jordan James]

He might be a single hero.

[Simon Scott]

He might be a single hero. I with this guy.

[Jordan James]

This part weekend, this past weekend was the worst of it. Those of you who know. No, it was Wrestlemania. He asked me to refer him as. Refer to him as the final boss all weekend. Okay, this is where I'm losing him. I laughed it off and thought he was joking, but he wasn't. We actually got into an argument about it Saturday evening because he said I wasn't supporting him and the ray in the way he needs. And that whenever we're watching wrestling, I look bored, disinterested, etc. There's the RSD kicking in.

[Simon Scott]

There we go.

[Jordan James]

I look that way because I am bored. He's got to be watching 15 hours of wrestling a week, easy. I'm not even that obsessed with basketball. Actually, maybe I AM. When Jey Uso won at WrestleMania, he literally jumped on top of our couch waving his arms. It was embarrassing. And I left the room.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, he was yeeting, was he?

[Jordan James]

I don't want to say too much regarding our intimacy, but he's asked for a lot of role playing lately as well, and it has me very concerned. I do you do that, Scotty. Like I play carris to pin you down.

[Simon Scott]

No, I've never. I have never. I can honestly say this to all listeners. I'm gonna let you into the curtain of my relationship. I have never asked Caris to stone cold stunning me in the bedroom.

[Jordan James]

I'm. I'm telling you, ladies and gentlemen, I bet he's naked wearing that belt. But anyway, champion in the bedroom.

[Simon Scott]

You come into the bedroom.

[Jordan James]

The things, the things he asked me to do and say make me super uncomfortable. It's all wrestling related. Jesus Christ. Things have taken a toll on me mentally. It's non stop. He sends me memes of the Roman Reigns and a bunch of other wrestlers. He talks like them, acts like them and demands I participate in his little performances Sunday night. The wrestler he wanted to win didn't win because it's fake and it's still affecting him today. His mood sour and he seems depressed. Jesus.

[Simon Scott]

I think he's in too deep.

[Jordan James]

There is so much autism.

[Simon Scott]

There is a video that this makes me think of. Of. I'm not saying that he has the autism haircut, but he gave me the vibe and he was in the bleachers and he stands up and he goes,

[Jordan James]

it's still real to me.

[Simon Scott]

Damn it. That's what this reminds me of.

[Jordan James]

Okay, the last bit. I hate to admit it, but it's been kind of nice. He hasn't been as loud and noise as usual. So she's happy that he's depressed because he's calmed the down.

[Simon Scott]

So yeah, she's, he's, he's obviously a very big Roman Reigns fan then.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, she basically is saying Reddit, I need help. I just don't think I can deal with it anymore. He sings the wrestling songs, he does their sayings, he's got all their T shirts. He's even got tickets for us to the next show coming through in about three weeks. But I just don't think I can take it. I have to say I am. I, I, my, my actual hyper fixation in general is, is like it's not obsession obsession, but I, it's Reddit story. I love listening to Shout out to Two Hot Takes with Morgan. Absolutely loved that she's neurodivergent, which, which I also love. So, you know, yeah, go to two Hot Takes. Smosh reads Reddit. Another one I highly addictive show.

[Simon Scott]

It's so fun.

[Jordan James]

It is. Because I tell you what, it's actually, they've actually improved me as a person because I listen to a lot of the stories and I go, I'm not there but I'm, I'm not far off. Some of these awful men.

[Simon Scott]

It's good to have reflection, isn't it? You go, oh, I'm not happy with some of my behaviors, it could be worse, but that means I need to stop myself before it gets worse.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, I honestly, they're very, very interesting, and some of them are funny, and some of them are very serious. But, yeah, I. I really, really feel sorry for both these people.

[Simon Scott]

Yes. Yeah, I do.

[Jordan James]

I. Obviously, it's so obvious that he's a Divergent. I mean, I don't think that's even in question. She might not know it, and that's a problem because she doesn't mention it in the story. If it. If it was a thing, like she did understand neurodivergence, then she might not even write that. She might just be like, well, at least I know why it's happening. She needs to go and talk to him. Obviously, this. There's a lack of communication there, but there's also might be a lack of communication because he just doesn't want to talk about it because it doesn't involve wrestling.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And, yeah. Not. I mean, I'm not here to give advice to these people where they're never going to hear us. They're never going to know us. That's not what this show is. I was just fascinated because I can relate to this man and Sylvia could probably relate to this woman who is writing it, But I was interesting when I was a kid.

[Simon Scott]

Yep. Still am.

[Jordan James]

And you still very much are. So, Scotty, what is your opinion on this?

[Simon Scott]

I always remember somebody saying to me once, it's good to have a hobby, but don't let it be everything. It's like, you know, magicians are cool, but don't let it just be your only thing. Yeah. You know. Right. And my experience of this. Right. Everything that this guy has said or that this woman has said about her husband, I have related to. I haven't done it this extreme. I'm not literally referring to myself as like the final boss or walking into a room and going, ladies and gentlemen, like, I'm not really.

[Jordan James]

Wish you were, though.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah. Like, you know, if. If Caris did ever, like, buy me a title belt, I would let her wear it, but then I would need the money in the bank briefcase to like it, and you steal it off. You've seen the memes. They're really funny. I watch wrestling with. With Karis, and I don't watch AEW Dynamite. I don't watch Evolve. I don't watch New Japan Wrestling. I don't watch gcw. I don't watch all of the many, many, many different promotions that there are. You could very easily watch 40 hours of wrestling a week, very easily, if you wanted to. You know, you're looking at Lucha Libra, you're looking at Japan strong star, you're looking at Bruce Strong. There's so many different types of wrestling outside of wwe. And I look at Caris and I tell her this and I can physically see her die inside. Like, I'm very aware that I can watch wwe. She likes it because Rhea Ripley's in it. She likes a lot of the women's wrestlers, but outside of that, I can tell when she's not too interested. Like we'll watch Monday Night Raw, will watch Smackdown or watch the pay per views. But there's a compromise. I used to want to stay up and watch them at one in the morning till four in the morning and then the next day my life would be a mess.

[Jordan James]

You, I mean, you did do that. There is, there is evidence where you sat on the show that, that you stayed up.

[Simon Scott]

I'm changing that now.

[Jordan James]

I just watched that. I just watched the pre recorded.

[Simon Scott]

I watch it in the morning rather than staying up late at night and trying to stay up and watching it. I've made adjustments so that I can still have my hobby, but align it more to sort of where my partner is. And yeah, we have little jokes where we will sometimes reference wrestling stuff. There was a period of time where Macho Man, Randy Savage was a part of my vocabulary. The cream of the grave.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Scott]

Like it is. It's so stimmy for me. And there is a great thing about echolalia with it. But one of the things that I realized very quickly is I wasn't gonna convert Caris into a wrestling fan at the level that I was. I needed to make other friends that like wrestling. I couldn't just convert Caris. I couldn't force her to like it as much as I liked it. She does enjoy it. She'll watch Wrestlemania, she'll watch the Royal Rumble. She'll watch it. If Rhea Ripley's fighting anybody else, not so much. Yeah, she's gone to live events with me and she loved it. But she's not buying all of the T shirts and things like that. Fair play to her. She's got a rich. Actually, Caris has more wrestling T shirts than I do because she's got lots of Rhea Ripley T shirts. Because Rhea Ripley's freaking awesome.

[Jordan James]

Sounds definitely like a hyper fixation, which is a healthy one.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah. Which is cool. Like the, the music as well. We'll have little jokes about it, things like that. But I'm not walking around the house like Paul Heyman, doing like all the quotes I'm not yeeting and things like that.

[Jordan James]

So if, if you were in this guy's position and she just wasn't interested at all, would you feel hurt by that?

[Simon Scott]

So I can give evidence of this. I had two others relatively serious girlfriends before I met Caris. The first one really got into wrestling at the same time that I did that I rediscovered it like this guy did, was into it as a kid, fell out of it, got back into it around 21, 22.

[Jordan James]

I did the same with basketball.

[Pace Case]

Yeah.

[Simon Scott]

So I got massively into wrestling and at the time, the girl that I dated also really got into it at the same time. Great. Worked out really well. Relationship ended. Next relationship came along, oh, my ex thought wrestling was the most cringe, embarrassing thing that I could have been into

[Jordan James]

to the point of sad.

[Simon Scott]

When I watched it, she would take the piss out of me for it.

[Jordan James]

Oh, that's horrible.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, it was grim. And it wasn't just that sort of special interest as well. And the difference is, is I. I entered the previous relationship of the person I was with before Caris, not knowing I was neurodivergent. On Carson Mind's first date, I said to her, I haven't been diagnosed, but I self identify as adhd. So that when I was myself, I vividly remember saying to her on my first date, yeah, I watch wrestling. It's non negotiable. This is who I am as a person. Take it or leave it. And I learned the language because I understood myself better. But there are times where I'm sat watching wrestling and Carys will turn to me and she'll go, oh, we watched Monday Night Raw on Tuesday night and it's now Friday, it's now Saturday and you're wanting to watch smackdown and you've already watched the football, would you mind we watch something else and you watch it on your own later? Yeah, I can do that. So it's a lot to do with communication and understanding that there is another neurodivergent person that lives in my house who has their own special interests that I have to appreciate and feed and not neglect and vice versa.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think that within with this story, very, very possible that she is also neurodivergent. Obviously she doesn't mention it. There's no hints. But neurodivergence often, most of the time, end up with other neurodivergent people and it could just be a clash. And yeah, I mean, I have no idea what happened with those people, but it's sad. But also this is the reality and this, this has definitely happened to me.

[Simon Scott]

Should we take a break and let's share your story?

[Jordan James]

Let's, let's take a break and then when we come back we will talk about the pitfalls of some of our worst, not worst, hyper fixations, but like

[Simon Scott]

the most damaging ones to our relationships.

[Jordan James]

Relationships. Yeah. Perfect. Well done.

[Simon Scott]

We'll be back.

[Bachelor Clues]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Ashley Dupuis]

Hi everyone, it's Ashley Dupuis, the in house therapist here on the neurodivergent Experience and host of Mindful Mondays. And if you've been listening to these podcasts and thinking, gosh, I'd love to explore this work more deeply, I wanted to let you know about a special final opportunity to work with me one to one. So I'm gradually bringing my regular one to one practice to a close so that I can focus more on group work and recordings and other new exciting projects. But before I do, I'm taking on a small final round of one to one clients for a six session journey running from May to the end of July. So if this work has been resonating and you feel called to work with me directly, now is your last chance to do so and I'd love to hear from you. You can register your interest by emailing me@integrative iommail.com or find out more at integrativeiom.co.uk.

[Simon Scott]

Welcome back to the neurodivergent Experience. We've been talking hyper fixations and I thoroughly enjoyed but also felt so sad about hearing that Reddit story about Mr. Wrestling. Mr. Wrestling. I hope you're good dude. Like I love it, but not that much. But the reason as to why we've got onto this today.

[Jordan James]

I just want to talk. Sorry, I didn't. I. I just want to talk to him. I want to have a conversation.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, me too dude.

[Jordan James]

This is why we do this is because we're hoping that people who are in that situation because, because I remember I. I don't recognize it. One when you're really, really in there, you don't understand how it affects other people.

[Simon Scott]

It's the eye of the hurricane. It's brutal Absolutely brutal. But the reason as to why we had this idea for an episode anyway was because of a conversation that we had the other night on the phone where you were talking about your own hyper fixations and how Sylvia's navigating that.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. So I've, I've definitely had ones in the past that have negatively affected them. I've talked about them on the podcast when, when I got too much into Gears of War online.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, that's a long time ago. That wasn't it.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. And I was completely lost in it. So I've put Sylvie through the ringer with these hyper fixations way before I knew I was neurodivergent. And after in fact, photography itself, the thing that I'm most known for and most proud of was absolutely a hyper fixation. It's not now it's a healthy hobby, but when it first started, it was just take camera everywhere, constantly constant pictures all the time. An hour walk would turn into a two hour walk because I'd be stopping all the time to take pictures, driving everyone else around me completely insane. And it's the only one that's actually had a, like a, like a rewarding end to it. You know, being a international world renowned photographer, I mean that's, that's a pretty good payoff.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah. I mean, worst case scenario, it's not a bad outcome, is it?

[Jordan James]

Worst case scenario, I literally actually ended up making money from it, which is helpful.

[Simon Scott]

Now the worst case scenario is me now like imagining you in a, in a red lit room with the water being like, yes, beautiful. Hanging them up on the. Oh, beautiful. My, my idea of your worst case scenario, like you've not washed in days where you're like, look at the picture, look at the, look at the clouds, look at the waterfall. Beautiful. Beautiful.

[Jordan James]

I, I in, in mo. With most hyper fixations, I will always end up in the red. There is, there is the neurodivergent tax and I end up in the red. And it's not just the money, it's the space that it takes up and yeah, so my pop characters, my, my little Funko Pops. Not everyone likes Funko Pops. Apparently they, you know, they are pretty generic. But I love a Funko Pop, but it's just my toys in general. So, you know, cuddly toys, action figures. I've got so many he man toys. They're all in the loft. Thundercats toys on the loft, Ghostbuster toys, they're all in the loft. I got a lot. I've got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys. I got all the toys. Right. I am reliving my childhood. You know, these were things that made me very, very happy and very similar to the Reddit story and yourself. You know, it's something that I was into when I was a kid, and then, you know, you kind of just think, oh, well, I'm not, I'm, you know, I'm growing up. I shouldn't be into that. Because that's what you're told, you know, you have to grow up. And then when you realize that when you are grown up, you're just like, well, this wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Being grown up sucks. So now I want to be. Now I want to be a kid again.

[Simon Scott]

I got sold the dream.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. So it's, it's definitely sort of that of like, oh, I just want to be a kid again. Because being an adult sucks balls.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And so you, you, I, I do sort of regress into that childlike self, you know, because of that synaptic pathways of, of childlike behaviors and toys make me happy, dude. I surround myself with them. And it's really difficult because Sylvia doesn't like toys at all. At all. Like, she doesn't. She never had cuddly toys as a child. She hates knickknacks. Her parents had. Her parents are neurodivergent. They had loads of knickknacks and she had to dust them all the time.

[Simon Scott]

The Soviet Poland toy play with you.

[Jordan James]

Yes. She just was never into it, but if I told her I'm going to go and buy 200 pairs of trainers, she'd be like, that's fine. Because in her very, very. Tis a mind of that, you know, linear way of thinking. It's. Trainers can be worn, therefore useful toys. You can't do anything with them, so they're not useful. So something at least has to have a purpose. And she can't understand how my toys have a purpose. My toys have my purpose because I literally get to look at them and they just make me so fucking happy. My cuddly toys have a purpose because I cuddle them and I squeeze them and I stim with them and they make me happy. The purpose of my toys is to make me happy. And because they don't make her happy, she. It's, it's that is that weird lack of empathy that some people misunderstand. I was like, oh, neurodivergent people have a lack of empathy. It's more of the logical thinking of we can't understand it when we don't get. Is that very linear, logical thinking.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And. But she loves me and she's amazing and she makes, you know, what's the word?

[Simon Scott]

I love when you do this, you go, what's the word?

[Jordan James]

And I'm just like, yeah, you should know the. You. You should know the word.

[Simon Scott]

The hive mind is not working today. I'm sorry.

[Jordan James]

It's not sacrifices. You don't make sacrifices.

[Simon Scott]

Compromises.

[Jordan James]

Compromises. There you go. I knew you knew the word. I don't. I didn't know the word. Adhd. Adhd, yeah. She makes. We make compromise. Because, you know, I have to admit, there's nothing that, that she loves that interferes with my life. It's definitely mostly the other way.

[Simon Scott]

I don't have that with, with Caris, to be honest. There's nothing that she has in her life that ever costs or interferes with mine. Unfortunately, mine do.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. What happened the other day was Sylvia was a new pop character came and, and I, I am not buying any pop characters this year. I bought it in November last year. I have the receipt to prove it. I bought it. No, your honor. I literally showed. I was like, see? November, November 29th, I ordered it.

[Simon Scott]

She's like, no, it was doctored.

[Jordan James]

And I was like, no, it was pre ordered. It was Shay Gilgis Alexander. He's my favorite basketball player.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan James]

It was pre ordered in November because it didn't come out until now. And it just came out and it got delivered and she was like, oh, another one. And I'm like, it's Shay and she loves Shay. And I'm like, no, you love Shane. I mean, collecting dust.

[Simon Scott]

Why she like it? That's the worst thing that you could.

[Jordan James]

She actually genuinely said she's very, very cute. I've never heard her say that about any pop character. She looks really, really cute on a Lord of the Rings ones. I'm allowed. I bought Faramir and Aomer because they basically just came out. But Lord of the Rings ones, that's the exception. Right. Because she's happy with the Lord of the Rings ones because it's my collection. But yeah. Another basketball one comes and I've got a giant Michael Jordan, a Yanis and a Jason Tatum. And they're sitting on top of the Robovac thing. It has like, you know, it, you put water in it and it.

[Simon Scott]

They come out. The little job.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, it's like a whole setup and I'm, I just don't have any space. Like, like, because Simon is still here. I Thought he'd have moved out by now, but. Oh, it's. Yeah, I mean, I just still. I still don't have my boy cave.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, there's a boy in it.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, there's a boy. There's a man in my boy game. And now Sophie and Chris are in their room. Another boy. Like, just too many people in my house now. It's just not a lot of room. I. I need a room to put all this stuff in. And now I just have the corner of my living room. I'm just like, oh, I want to put these next to me. I have a chair there, like a lazy boy chair. And like, and then it just. It starts building up and building up and it starts encroaching on the other side of the room. And once it starts encroaching the other side of the room, Sylvia's like, why? Why? Why? Where's this come from? And I was like, that was always there. She's like, no, I know it wasn't. I'm like trying to gaslight her into believing that some cuddly toys just always existed. And I like buying squishmallows because I turn around and go, that's a pillow. Not. Not cuddly toy.

[Simon Scott]

What a smart ass you are.

[Jordan James]

So when I bought the basketball one, she's like, what's this? I was like, it's a pillow. It's always cuddly toy. Yeah, it's like we've always had this pillow that's bright orange and has a

[Simon Scott]

face and a tag on it and

[Jordan James]

little legs with trainers.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, no, he is. He sounds cool.

[Jordan James]

He is very cool. I call him happy because he makes me happy. Literally.

[Simon Scott]

Okay.

[Jordan James]

And then she's like, oh, but what about this giraffe? Now, to be fair, you've seen the giraffe in the background. It's gone. It's. He's gone. Yeah. Is he going to where? It's gone wherever the other toys have gone to the loft. The loft of sadness. I actually think maybe I should just go and sit in the loft some days because I'll just reminisce. And. Yeah, so I kind of. I was tired and I just got annoyed and I was like, fine. And I just grabbed everything and I started packing, apart from obviously my Lord of the Rings ones. And I just started packing everything away. And I started like. So I took all my Boglins. They're all gone. And I just started packing everything away. I was like, fine, if you don't want me to have my things. I was, yeah, it was A little bit dramatic, but, you know, tism. And I kind of just got really fed up with it because it was literally. I don't. I. I don't get why she doesn't like them and she doesn't get what I do like them. And then there's that. It's just. It was just a clash.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

But, yeah, I just started putting everything away and put a lot of stuff in the loft. Then I started putting stuff in the loft that I definitely didn't want to put in the loft. And I started getting really sad.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And then she gets upset because she then starts feeling guilty that she's like, oh, I'm just a bad person. I'm not good for you. And I'm just like, well, actually, so she ends up getting RSD and I'm not. Well, actually, I will take. I will get rid of every toy I own to make you happy if it really means it, but it will make me sad if I do it. And. Oh, it was. It was just one of those things. And then, you know, it happened. And then she. I was up in the loft just being so. Because once I was up there, I then saw all my he man figures and all my Garfield cuddly toys that I'd collected when I was a kid. All my south park cuddly toys that are up there slowly degrading. And I was. It just made me sad to see all the things that I love so much just hidden away in the loft.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And I was just up there moping because now I'm adding to it. There's more things now in the loft that I want downstairs. And then she. We were about to go to the gym and this will happen. And then she just disappeared. She. She went out the house and she drove away. And I was like, what? Like, that's not like her. Like, normally we. We would. We would just get over it. We would just sort things fizzle out. Yeah. But I was like, oh, God, you know, what's happened? And I've called her. Shouldn't answer. And I was like, oh, my God, what is going on?

[Simon Scott]

That one really triggered me.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, it really upset me because I was like, you know, it's not like we were showering and screaming each other. We don't do that. It was more of just like, it's. If you. If you don't end up in these situations during your marriage of 25 years and then you get past them, then you're living in a fantasy world. You know, we. We. We do have, you know, disagreements Everyone does.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And when you're living with someone, you're going to. You're gonna have disagreements, especially when all

[Simon Scott]

of your money's paired together and your lives are bu. Together and.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So I was like, right, she must have gone to the gym by herself. So I've got in my car, I've gone to the gym, she's not there. And I'm like, oh, crap. Okay. So I'm messaging her. What's going on? I was like, look, you know, I just want to get over it. We found the compromise. It's fine. I got rid of the Boglins. It. It does look a lot neater and blah, blah, blah, blah. Because she never even mentioned the Boglins. I. I just took it upon myself to have, like, a little hissy fit of, like, fine, I'll get rid of

[Simon Scott]

everything, put it in a bin bag.

[Jordan James]

Oh, you'll never see me again. I've never seen a neurodivergent person overreact to things.

[Simon Scott]

I think you're the first person to ever do this ever.

[Jordan James]

I. I believe, my man. Yeah. I. I believe no one has ever overreacted to anything ever before. Except me. I am. I am literally the biggest drama queen ever. And it's like. And then she messages me and she's like, I'm. I've bought some shelves. And I'm like, okay. She's like, yeah, I've bought some shelves so you can put things on the shelves so they don't have to sit on my Hoover. And I'm like, oh, that's where you went. But instead of saying that, she just. Like you were saying. She just went non speaking. And she just. Her. Her reaction was, okay, I'm gonna sort this out by. Rather than talking about it, doing something about it. Whereas I'm a talker, she's a doer.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And she is all the. She's so good at diy.

[Simon Scott]

That's good.

[Jordan James]

It is. So she came and joined me in the gym. We did our workout, had a little cuddle, and we just moved past it. We came back and she put the shelves up and she's. And she's like, oh, maybe he can go there and he can go there. And then she got involved with it.

[Simon Scott]

Nice.

[Jordan James]

And it was just done. And now I look over at it and it looks. It does look a lot nicer. It looks a lot neater, a lot tidier. I've got the things I want, and the only thing that end up in the loft, I think, was the giraffe. Couple of squishmallows. Gandalf Bear, which I'm still not that happy about. It might end up back down here again. My Gandalf Teddy Bear and the Boglins, which is fine because they're an acquired taste of oglin.

[Simon Scott]

I will say no.

[Jordan James]

Well, she never had the issue with them, but they. They didn't look very tidy. So when she put all the shelves up, I decided just to leave them up there because Simon said he's moving out at the end of the year, and then I can have my boy cake.

[Simon Scott]

So this is the thing, right? There's. There's two things that this makes me think of. And I'm sure you as a listener have sat here and gone, yeah, I can relate to this in some way, because I definitely can. You've nearly got a fix that I was offered by Karis and I took with two hands. She went, have a room in the house. Do what you want with it. She's like, I'm not gonna tell you what to do says, but have a room. So as soon as Simon moves out and you've got a boy cave, then you won't feel like you'll need as much stuff around you, I'm sure, because I have that. You know, Karis doesn't want golf clubs all over the house, so they're in this room with me here. So that's one thing and then two. And I'm not saying for you to get rid of stuff, but something that helps me. I struggle with a lot of overstimulation of clutter, and I have that guilt of if I'm not using something, it's going to waste. So my sort of thinking is, if something's in the loft, what's the point in having it? Like, genuinely for me, like, if I have to go and put an item in the loft or I have to get, like, a clothes that I don't wear anymore and put them in a suitcase just to put them in the loft. I'm more inclined to just let them go or to get rid of them or to give them to somebody else. I know that that's not for everybody, but that's something that I've done recently where I've lost a lot of weight, but I've also bulked up as well. And some clothes are too small for me and some clothes are too big. And I had a period where I put loads of weight on and I got rid of loads of clothes I loved. And I've actually just basically spent the past six months buying them. Back or replacing them. And there's a lot of stuff that I've got that I'm now really apprehensive to get rid of because I'm like, oh, what if I lose the way? What if I put the way back on? Like, you know, all of these reasons. And I was talking to Karis about it and loading up this box, and we've got all of these big plastic boxes and we're both always complaining that we've not got enough storage in the house. We do. It's just full of shit that we don't use. So we've both sort of, you know, gone. Rather than going through our own stuff and getting rid of it, we've gone through each other's. So, like, I've gone into Caris's stuff and gone, right, I think you don't need that. I think you don't need that. And she's done the same with me. And if there's anything that we're unsure about, we put it in a pile in the middle. But to help get rid of, like, Carys doesn't need 10 pairs of pajamas when she only wears the same two. And I don't need five pairs of golf trousers or four golf bags. So, no, and I will admit, listeners, I'm already looking at a new one. So, yeah, this is the thing, right, is it's.

[Bachelor Clues]

We've.

[Simon Scott]

We've sort of compromised in the middle and gone, okay, We've moved into this house together. We've now been in it a year. We've. We've landed. We now feel like we've acclimatized to it and we now want to do what we want with it, but we've got too much of our old shit to get new stuff in, so we are gonna have to let it go. So how would you feel about. Actually, not that I'm saying you should, but this stuff that's in the loft, if you look at it and it makes you feel sad that it's up there, have you thought about maybe putting it on Vinted and getting.

[Jordan James]

No one's allowed it. It's mine. Fuck everyone. It belongs. I'm. I, I, I am. I'm. What? I like to call

[Simon Scott]

me that.

[Jordan James]

I'm a mini holder. No. No to no, Sylvia. The only thing I've ever put on Vinted is. Sophie put one of my jumpers on Vinted, and someone tried to buy it and I immediately went, no, it's mine.

[Simon Scott]

Like your shoes. Would you sell some shoes?

[Jordan James]

And then, and then I started wearing the Jumper everywhere. Yeah, I was like, it's mine now. It's my jumper. I started wearing it, it, I was like, no one can have this. No, I have. So I have sold some of my pairs of shoes. Not a lot, but no, I, I, the shoes are a different thing actually because, yeah, I'm more inclined to, to better sell shoes. But no, most of the things that I buy, they're mine now and they belong to me and they'll never, I'm, I, I would never be one of those people that collect pork packs, pop characters to sell them on. I mean, I, I have some pop characters I bought for a tenor and now worth over 100 quid. The star Trek ones that I have, Next Generation ones, my Captain Picard's 150 quid cost me like nine, nine quid when I bought it. Wow. And it's 150 quid. He's on my shelf. Like most people be like, what do you mean he's on your shelf? Is he on a box? No, he's not in a box. I have the box. I would never sell it like unless I suddenly went completely broke and I had to. But I'd rather sell like other things like they're, they're mine. And my how, how I got traumatized was the fact that I had all these things that made me very, very happy when I was a kid and that of a so called freaking birth mother. Freaking sold them all as soon as I got out of the house.

[Simon Scott]

Right, Makes sense.

[Jordan James]

Okay. And then kept the money for herself.

[Simon Scott]

Sorry for saying just all them then. That was a bit incense.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, no, you triggered me. You right.

[Simon Scott]

And we'll go to a break so we can have some advertisement money so that we can buy more things. We're right back.

[Jordan James]

Toys.

[Bachelor Clues]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Chase Sapphire Reserve Announcer]

This is the table, the one with the view. This is how you reserve exclusive tables with Chase Sapphire Reserve. This is your name on the list. This is the chef sending you something he didn't put on the menu. This is 3 times points on dining with Chase Sapphire reserve and a $300 dining credit that covered the citrus pavlova and drinks. And the thing you didn't think you liked until you tasted it, Chase Sapphire Reserve.

[Simon Scott]

Now even more rewarding learn [e-mail] SapphireReserve

[Bachelor Clues]

cards issued by JP Morgan Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval.

[Simon Scott]

Welcome back to the Neurodivergent Experience. Jordan's back out of the loft after traumatizing him, telling him to get rid of 20 year old crusty cuddly toys. But that's. I learned that lesson.

[Jordan James]

They're all going. They're all going in my man cave. Boy cave.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, they're going in the boy cave. Yeah, yeah, get a boy cave. If in doubt, get a boy cave to the guy who at the beginning of the rest the Reddit wrestling story, get him a boy cave and just lock the door behind you. So you've talked about a couple of your hyper fixations and I think I, I have too much of an ADHD profile to hang on to one. But I will say I am a magpie for memorabilia. Yeah, I get a bit of something from everywhere I've been.

[Jordan James]

Oh no, I do that. But it's a cuddly toy. From every country I've been to, I collect a cuddly toy.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, lighters, T shirts, hats. I have like 15, 16 different types of hats and I have like five in my basket currently. Okay, golf clubs, golf club head covers, golf bags, golf towels. I have. This is me all over, right? I spent £200 on a very fancy advanced pair of golf shoes and within a week of them being here, I was looking at new ones. Like Caris will say to me, oh, you've got a new golf club. That's really nice. How much did it cost? I'm like £400. Just. Just £400.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. Golf was definitely one of my very expensive expense. In fact it was my. It was even more expensive than photography because I made money from photography. So I've actually made more money from photography than I've spent on photography and But Jesus. Yeah, golf.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, A lot of my membership money. Oh yeah, you're looking at 40 pound, 50 pound to play most places. I have very expensive taste when it comes to clothes and everything. I love research and stuff. Like I was out shopping with Carrots last night and she was like, I'm looking for shoes that do this, do this, do this. And instantly I was like, follow me. And I basically walked her into office and went, these are the shoes that you want. And she tried them on and she was like, haha, you were correct. And it's. I love doing research and stuff. I love watching golf on TV and seeing what people are wearing and reading about it. I like reading about the designers and the fashion houses and, and things like that. But all of this is so expensive. Like, I do not need a hundred pound polo to play golf. I don't. But my brain really wants one. It's like I could very easily walk onto a golf course and just my outfit be a thousand pounds.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, I, I, I, I don't know if it would cost that much, but I, I have the same with that, you know, when I went craved with the jerseys. So I'm obviously, I'm still really into basketball. Absolutely love basketball. Sylvia's into basketball, which really, really helps.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

And I have all the hoodies, T shirts. I'm currently wearing Celtic jogging bottoms, Lakers socks. They, they keep fighting each other weirdly. And obviously I've got, you know, hoodies and trainers and all sorts of things. But I did come to that decision this year. I've been like, okay, enough is enough.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, it's, it's hard to find the balance because like with my ex, she always used to be like, why would you want to wear a football kit? Why would you want to wear a football kit? And then a year or two later, I'm with Karis and Karis is like, oh, I actually think it's really cool that you buy a football kit for your team. Uh, oh, I then bought five.

[Jordan James]

Yes. Given permission is. I, I think honestly the only reason why I only have about 200 pop characters is because Sylvia is not fond of them.

[Simon Scott]

Or if she was fond of them.

[Jordan James]

Oh, a thousand.

[Simon Scott]

Would you have a museum of pop characters? Would you be Mr. Pop character?

[Jordan James]

They, they, they would take up my entire living room.

[Simon Scott]

Wow.

[Jordan James]

Like, they'd be on every shelf, every surface. They'd be, and it wouldn't just be pop characters. It would be all my he man figures. Everything. I would just have everything everywhere. My, my house would literally look like, like a, like a toy shop. It would, you know, mankind.

[Simon Scott]

Oh, God. Mankind is dangerous, dude.

[Jordan James]

That, that's what my house would look like.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, but that's the thing, man, is, and this is the sort of the reflection that I want to tie back to the Reddit story that we read earlier. Have your special interests, have your hyper fixations. It's hard to set your own boundaries, though. Like, it is good to, in my personal opinion, Carrie says to me, yeah, go and buy yourself a new golf bag, but sell one of the ones that you've got.

[Jordan James]

But at least with golf, for you, it's golf. I wouldn't count golf as a hyper fixation for you. I would count golf as a special interest.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

Basketball at the beginning of it was definitely a hyper fixation. It's where you go all in, just fully. Like. The only thing I care about is this one.

[Simon Scott]

I don't have any hyper fixed fixations.

[Jordan James]

Yes. See, that's the thing. The last one I had was the Beatles.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

When I was listening to Beatles all the time. And I've always been into the Beatles, but this, this was like double hyper fixation. Watch. Yeah. Went to the museum with.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jordan James]

Watching loads of documentaries, watching the old Yellow Submarine movie. And then suddenly I've got all four Beatles pop characters and a light up yellow submarine. And. And it's just. And then I bought T shirts from vintage. I buy things off vinyl.

[Simon Scott]

What's funny, dude? You've just made me think. Sorry to interrupt your flow.

[Jordan James]

That's all right.

[Simon Scott]

I actually think there's only one person in this house that has hyper fixations and it's not me. You're the Sylvia Caris liked. Wicked. Wicked pajamas, wicked makeup.

[Jordan James]

Yeah.

[Simon Scott]

Like items in the house.

[Jordan James]

Yeah.

[Simon Scott]

And there was a period last year where I got a special interest around a podcast series. And then there was a film that came out about the topic of the podcast series and it was all about this plane crash in like the 70s. And off the back of it, Caris watched and I mean, every Mount Everest documentary that I could find, it was every night we were watching something about Mount Everest, she was reading a book about it. We were talking about it like all the time. And then suddenly she just stopped talking about it. And we will have TV shows or like musicians. Right. Carys won't listen to an album. She will listen to an artist non stop. Like I can walk into the kitchen and just put music on and there's like a rotation Rolodex of like four or five artists you'll listen to heavily at one time and then one will just fall out. And it's like she was listening to Jade Thirlwill. Jade, who was in Little Mix. Her album came out last year. We literally had that album on non stop for a month and then a new one came out and it's like she forgot she existed. And then suddenly it'll come back. Whereas with me, I feel like I have 10 special interests at any given time. And I'm just like, it's like tapas for me. I'm just like, oh, I have a bit of that. I'll have a bit of that. I'll have a little bit of that. And A little bit of that. And I bounce between them. Whereas Caris is, like, only one thing right now. So that's interesting because as you were talking about it, I think you're right. I think I might be the silvia.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. I mean, like, when it comes to, like, buying stuff like. Like I said with the. The pop characters and things, that. That's. That's. It's like a special interest is the pop characters. But what pop characters I'm buying is the hyper fixation.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah.

[Jordan James]

So it will always end up being, oh, I'm really into this thing now, so I need a pop cat. There's always. There's always a. There's always a pop character.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, that's the thing, that spider.

[Jordan James]

So I guess I watched Andor. Then I watched all the. The. Then I watched Rogue One. Then I watched all the. The good Star. Star wars, the first three.

[Simon Scott]

We'll have no Revenge of the Slip slander on this podcast.

[Jordan James]

No, I. I like those ones. It's. It's the ones off.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, I'm not too fond of those either.

[Jordan James]

Yeah, but. And then suddenly I've got an entire shelf now of Star wars pop characters of that era. You know, Darth vader, Luke and R2D2, Han Solo, all those. I've got them all now. And that was. That's how I. What happens with hyper fixations. And it's, you know, like. But with this guy, it's T shirts and it's. You know, jumpers are like 250.

[Simon Scott]

Like a pop.

[Jordan James]

Yeah. I didn't buy a lightsaber like that. I went.

[Simon Scott]

And I can never just justify it to myself. Like, I know for me, I am very, very good at only being satisfied with one. So, like, if I'm gonna buy a wrestling belt, yeah. I'll probably spend 250, 300 pounds on one, but that'll be it. I've got one. I don't need another one. I've got that one. Whereas there are certain people that I follow on YouTube, like, Santi Zap is a great wrestling YouTuber. His office dude has got, like, at least $5,000 worth of stuff just on camera that's not included. All around the walls that you can't see. He's got, like, pop figures. The belts. He's got seats from pay per views that he's been to. He was front row at John Cena's last ever show. He paid, like, $10,000 for the ticket. He got to keep his seat. He's got, like a signed pope. Like, he's Got so much stuff just in his little window, and he's like, oh, yeah, this is just the stuff that's in my office. This isn't the stuff that's in my house. Like, that's. That's a lot of. A lot of cheddar. Just a one wrestling company.

[Jordan James]

But I do think that that's the main difference between special interests and hyper fixations. But special interests, like you said that the hyper fixations can. Can overlap with that every now and again. And for me, the Beatles one was kind of like the tipping point where I was like, okay, that's. That's enough. Like, I don't regret buying the jumpers and the T shirt. I literally wore my Beatles T shirt the other day. I love. I love the Beatles. I watched the latest Paul McCartney documentary on Prime. It was really, really interesting. And I. I absolutely love the Beatles. I look at it and go, okay, that was cool. But the next time I really get into something, I've. I've got to not go over the top. And I think that I kind of proved myself right with. With, like, oh, yeah, I can. I can have self control. Because I really got into Stranger Things when the final season came out. I watched it all from the beginning. It does slowly degrade.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah, it does.

[Jordan James]

But I love it. I absolutely love Stranger Things. Yes, I looked at the pop characters and yes, I looked at the T shirts, and no, I did not buy them. I did not go down that route. I watched the show. I enjoyed the show, and then I was like, if I'm really still into it after the final season, I'm gonna give it a month. And if I'm like, oh, I still really want a T shirt, then I'll buy a T shirt. But a month after, I was like, no, I'm over it now. I'm on to the next thing. And I was like, oh, my God, I came out of that. I didn't spend a freaking penny on it. I just watched the show, enjoyed the show, moved on. That is a healthy hyper fixation for me. And it didn't encroach on anyone else. And I think that's. That's where I'm at now. And I think. I think it's a good. It's a good place to be, I think so.

[Simon Scott]

Dude, I think you.

[Jordan James]

I am wearing a Mario T shirt because the Mario movie is coming out next week.

[Simon Scott]

You'll see.

[Jordan James]

Very excited.

[Simon Scott]

I'll hold you to that.

[Jordan James]

I'm replaying Mario Galaxy 2, but I've already got Mario Cuddly. Toys. I've already got a Yoshi cuddly toy, a bowser cuddly. I've already got all these things. They're in my cupboard down next to my switch. I literally have a Mario cupboard that I open up when I play my switches in there and I open it up and suddenly I've got a Mario cupboard and I can see all my Mario toys. And then I can. When I finish, I close it, close

[Simon Scott]

the door on it.

[Jordan James]

I close the door and I'm. I don't. And no one has to see them and it's all neat and tidy, which is the best thing. But yeah, I've already got the T shirts and the, the. The toys and stuff. So I think reliving hyper fixations is. Is fun. You've got all the stuff.

[Simon Scott]

Yeah. It's nice to dip into them when you've already invested in them. And yeah, no, this is, this has been a really cool chat, dude. It's made me definitely think about my own hyper fixations and sometimes the lack of them, especially, like the consequences of. Of what can come from them. But I'm a little bit out of spoons on this one. But I'm intrigued to know what you listeners think. What are your hyper fixations? How have they affected your relationships? Because as you can testify with our own testimonials, the. The can. They really, really can. And it's good to be able to communicate and have awareness on them for sure. Right, well, that's been this week's neurodivergent Experience. We will be back tomorrow with a hot topic in your feed and as always, go and check Ashley out with Mindful Mondays on a Monday. Start your week with purpose. Right, that's everything from us. Bye, everybody, Nightly.

[Jordan James]

Bye.

[Simon Scott]

Thanks for tuning in to the neurodivergent Experience. We hope today's episode sparks something for you. Whether it's a new idea, a bit of validation, or just a moment of connection, remember, new episodes are every week, so be sure to join us for the the next one for more conversations and insights into the neurodivergent experience. If you've enjoyed this podcast, help us grow. You can do that by rating and reviewing this show. Your support makes a huge difference in helping us reach more people who could benefit from these conversations. You can connect with us on social media, find us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. Just search for the neurodivergent experience. Thank you again for listening and until next time, take care of yourself. You're not alone in this journey.

[Bachelor Clues]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Simon Scott]

ACAST Powers the World's Best Podcasts here's the show that we recommend.

[Pace Case]

Hi, I'm Pace Case.

[Bachelor Clues]

And I'm Bachelor Clues.

[Pace Case]

We host Game of Roses, the world's best reality TV podcast. We're covering every show on reality TV at the highest level possible. We analyze the Bachelor, Love is Blind, Perfect Match, Vanderpump, and anything else you find yourself watching with wine and popcorn.

[Bachelor Clues]

We break down errors, highlight plays, MVPs, and all the competitive elements that make reality TV a sport. And we interview superstar players like Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristow and Big Brother champion Taylor Hale.

[Pace Case]

If you want to know so much about reality TV, you can turn any casual conversation into a PhD level dissertation. You definitely want to check out Game of Roses.

[Simon Scott]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.