C (2:50)

Parker lives on the top floor of this townhouse. It's owned by a woman named Marcia, but Marcia, the landlady, was away. So Parker brings both of us and the dog downstairs through Marcia's dining room, and we go out the back door of the building and step out into this courtyard garden.

D (3:17)

Okay. Yeah, it's pretty. It's beautiful. Green covering absolutely everything.

C (3:31)

Yeah, it's, like, beautifully overgrown. It's, you know, it's a city private courtyard and New York apartment building. So it's not huge. And it's surrounded on three sides by pretty tall walls.

F (3:44)

They're probably 15 foot walls. It's kind of difficult to know how deep the garden is because it just kind of disappears into the overgrown weeds.

C (3:54)

Yeah, I don't think it has been touched since Marcia moved in in 1960.

D (4:00)

She's a real bohemian. You know what they called in? She was a moldy fig. And moldy figs were jazz enthusiasts who thought Duke Ellington was a sellout. They like Dixie jazz. And I keep trying to get her to get. Let's close the door so Gracie doesn't go in. I keep trying her to.

C (4:22)

Okay, that is a really key moment. You all heard that, right? She said, close the door to me, Michael. And I went and closed the door because she told me to. Okay, just stick a pin in that. All right.

D (4:33)

Do you like to weed?

C (4:34)

Sorry, Gracie. Do I like to weed?

D (4:38)

And did you like the show weeds? Are you a fan of Mary Louise Parker? I am. This is a weed. I mean, look at. This is a weed.

C (4:52)

It's gigantic. It's like, the size of two people.

D (4:55)

I'm so mad.

E (4:58)

Oh, the rage.

D (5:00)

Isn't gardening fun? It's the other side of gardening.

C (5:04)

Parker is method weeding right now. She soon decided that, you know, this job was a little bit too big for her. So we started to go back to the back door of the building, and the plan was to go back up and make this cocktail and talk about.

D (5:17)

The book, but it's like gray gardens back here in a way. Okay. Did we lock ourselves out? Oh, my God. Did you lock the door? Okay. I mean.

C (5:37)

Are we serious? Seriously, locked out here?

D (5:40)

Yeah.

C (5:46)

I've been here five minutes, and we're locked out in a courtyard with weeds. What is going on, Parker? I thought we were gonna have a cocktail in an emergency situation. That's the sound of me completely freaking out.

F (6:00)

Parker immediately, like, jumped into action.

C (6:03)

Yes. So her first idea, the neighbor Robin had given her a handwritten card, and she thought maybe Robin had left a phone number or an email and we could Call her and she could come rescue us.

D (6:14)

Oh, no. They didn't leave their number. Oh, that's good.

C (6:18)

Can we yell for her?

D (6:21)

Hey, Robin. Hey, Robin and Mitch.

C (6:25)

Robin and Mitch.

D (6:30)

Have you ever boosted someone over a wall? I will climb over that fence. I really will.

C (6:39)

So does your neighbor have.

D (6:41)

I was a cheerleader in high school, and if you lunge like this, I can step on the crook of your hip and your leg, and then I'll just throw my leg around you and then step on your shoulders and climb over the fence.

C (6:57)

Okay.

D (6:57)

I made fun of cheerleading. I wasn't like, you know, a serious cheerleader with, you know, geometric haircuts and, you know, I didn't understand the game. I'm not a football fan. I don't like football.

C (7:11)

I'm just standing there staring and thinking, how is this gonna get us out of here?

F (7:18)

Yeah. And you really didn't give this cheerleading idea much serious consideration.

C (7:24)

The whole idea kind of came and went.

F (7:27)

And I don't think you would have gotten her over that wall anyway.

D (7:31)

I mean, we really could be out here for a while. Who shut the door? That's what I want to know.

C (7:40)

I did because you said, shut the door so the dog doesn't get in.

D (7:43)

So you just. Did you just shut the door?

C (7:45)

Yes, I just did exactly what you say. Because I'm in your home, and you said, shut the door. And then her next idea was to call Tony. Tony is her friend who is the son of Marsha, the landlady. And he was upstate with his wife, Mindy. So Parker called them, and Mindy picked up.

E (8:07)

Parker's locked out in your mother's garden? Tony did it when he was 16. How'd you get out?

D (8:13)

Tony did it when he was 16. Indeed. Okay, that's encouraging. I'm almost 50.

E (8:21)

Okay, now he is. Now he remembers what I'm. There might be, if it wasn't fixed, a part of the fence that wasn't connected all the way, like, back through.

D (8:31)

The weeds, like Narnia.

C (8:33)

Michael, when Tony was 16, he got trapped in this garden. And there was a hole in the fence in the back. So we go bushwhacking through the vines to see if it's still there.

D (8:44)

Okay, Is it to the right or to the left? Just stay calm and, you know. Hey, Boo Radley. Hey, Boo.

C (8:59)

And miraculously, there actually was the same hole in this fence. It was a wooden fence, and basically there was a plank missing that was around the size of a small person.

E (9:10)

So you found it? Yes.

D (9:12)

Yeah, I'm gonna shimmy through right now.

F (9:14)

We found was not a hole that you would look at and think, like, Parker Posey's definitely gonna fit through that hole.

E (9:23)

Are you shimmying?

C (9:26)

She's shimmying. Yes, this is Michael.

D (9:30)

Oh, my God.

E (9:31)

Don't buck your nails up. She's got it. Oh, my God. This is outrageous.

D (9:36)

The fence has got my dress, and he's choking me.

C (9:40)

Okay, okay, okay.

D (9:42)

I got it.

C (9:42)

Can I help?

D (9:43)

I got it.

C (9:44)

Do you need a boost?

D (9:45)

I think I got it. Are you coming too? Are you going to come? Are you going to stay here?

F (9:55)

I think I have to stay here with the amount of wires I have attached.

D (9:58)

Oh, okay. I'll come down and get you.

C (10:01)

We're gonna get you. We won't leave you. I promise. I think.

F (10:06)

And then you just disappeared. It was like there was a Michael Shulman shaped puff of smoke where you had been standing. You were just, like, disappeared.

C (10:12)

It's like, tell my story.

F (10:14)

That's exactly how it felt.

C (10:16)

So we left you and the dog there, right?

F (10:18)

Just me and the dog and the rats that may or may not have been back in that garden. All right, I'm just out of curiosity, and I wouldn't say that I quite lost faith in you guys, but I did try that door again.

D (10:36)

Hmm.

F (10:39)

Pretty sure I could have gotten through it if I needed to, though, fortunately for me.

D (10:45)

Hi. How are you doing out there?

F (10:48)

To be very clear, Parker is talking to me right now, not the dog.

D (10:52)

Hi. Do you want us to let you in?

C (10:57)

Okay, so let's explain what happened.

D (11:01)

We got out, we walked down to some steps and went through a boiler room, Climbed up the steps. A woman happened to be opening her door.

C (11:14)

She was taking out her trash.

D (11:15)

She was taking out her trash? Yeah. She acted like it was not a big deal at all.

C (11:20)

Yeah. It's like she opens the back door of her building, sees Parker Posey trying to get into her building, and it's like.

E (11:27)

Okay.

D (11:29)

She was unfazed by it all. Yeah, I feel kind of itchy now. It's time for a drink.

C (11:42)

It sure is. I'm not closing any more doors while I'm here.

D (11:46)

That's a good idea.

C (11:47)

I'm not touching anything. So finally we were able to go upstairs to Parker's apartment on the top floor and have that cocktail that we originally came here for.

D (11:58)

Cheers.

C (11:59)

Cheers.

D (12:02)

Ooh, that was fun.

C (12:09)

Sorry, I'm, like, still coming down a little bit. I feel like you're a lot better than me in panic situations.

D (12:17)

I'm just used to it. Like, why that to me is. I just think it's part of being an actor. This kind of crazy stuff seems to, you know, I don't. I don't know. It seems to attract. Stories seem to attract me, probably because I act in them. I don't know. It's uncanny.

C (12:39)

Uncanny.

D (12:40)

It's uncanny. An experience of the uncanny, as my analyst Mark says.

C (12:47)

At first, I was surprised that Parker was so good at dealing with an emergency situation, but it actually makes a sort of sense. You know, she's an actor who is skilled in improvisation. And being stuck in this garden with her was a real life scenario that required an element of instinct and improvisation and just keeping calm and going to the next thing. So those skills became a kind of survival mechanism that allowed us to escape. And that reminded me of a part of the book that I really liked. I'll just read it. I don't feel glamorous. I feel like a possum. The animal born clinging to its mother's tail that grows up by falling off it and probably too soon. Acting is the possum's defense.

D (13:29)

Where is. Have you ever seen this? When threatened, they play dead. And they're very convincing at it. They scare themselves so deeply that their eyes roll back into their heads and their little tongues stick out. They'll even take it so far as to froth at the mouth. They'll go on with this act as long as they're terrified. And it's truly ghoulish because they've been known to be buried alive. They're famous for it.

C (13:59)

So is that how you think of yourself? As an actress, as a. As a possum?

D (14:07)

I wouldn't go around saying, hi, I'm Parker Posey. I think I'm a possum. But I like the analogy. It just. It feels true to my particular plight and. And other people, other actors who feel like creature people, changeable, you know, it's a strange thing to be, you know.

C (14:38)

Do you still feel itchy?

D (14:40)

There's some little flea or something.

C (14:43)

I would recommend a full tic check.

B (15:03)

Parker Posey and the New Yorker's Michael Shulman. We also heard from Alex Barron at the Radio Hour. Posey's memoir is called Memorably, you're on an Airplane. And that's it for this week. Thanks for listening and I hope you'll join us next time. Until then, be sure to check us out on Twitter ewyorkerradio. Stay cool and happy reading.

A (15:32)

The New Yorker. Radio Hour is a co production of WNYC Studios and the New Yorker. Our theme music was composed and performed by Meryl Garbus of Tune Yards, with additional music by Alexis Cuadrado. This episode was produced by Alex Barron, Emily Bottin, Ave Carrillo, Rhiannon Corby, Jill Duboff, Karen Frillman, David Krasnow, Louis Mitchell, Sarah Nix, Myth Lee Rao, Stephen Valentino and Richard Yeh, with help from Michelle Moses, Emily Mann and Jessica Henderson. The New Yorker Radio Hour is supported in part by the Cherina Endowment.