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- [00:00]
A
Today is Saturday, January 3rd. Happy New Year as 2026 begins. As with any new year, a lot of people might feel pressure to set big goals and hit the ground running. But for many, that mindset can quickly lead to stress or burnout. So today we're taking a different approach. My guest is Dr. Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist, consultant, speaker, and author of the book Generation Anxiety. Today we talk about why New Year's resolutions so often fall apart, what anxiety has to do with it and, and how to think about change in a way that actually feels doable, even fun together. Let's start the new year with a little less pressure and a lot more intention and joy. Welcome to the Newsworthy special edition Saturday. When we sit down with a different expert or celebrity every Saturday to talk about something in the news. Don't forget to tune in every Monday through Friday for our regular episodes where we provide all the day's news in less than 15 minutes. I'm Erica Mandy. It's now time for today's special edition Saturday. Dr. Lauren Cook, thank you so much for joining us here on the Newsworthy.
- [01:03]
B
Always a pleasure to be here, Erika. Happy New Year.
- [01:05]
A
Happy New Year. And that's exactly right. It's the start of a new year. People are often thinking about New Year's resolutions. And that's true, even though, you know, year after year we hear that resolutions often don't work or perhaps even make people feel worse because then they feel like they've failed. So why do you think self improvement in general, New Year's resolutions are so hard to follow through when it's our desires for ourselves?
- [01:31]
B
Right. Well, you know, I think a lot of us, we kind of stockpile honestly through the whole fall and winter season of like, I'm gonna do all of these things starting January 1st. And it's a lot of pressure and it's not necessarily realistic. And dare I say, I think a lot of these resolutions are missing the fun factor. You know, we are wired to seek out dopamine. And if our goals are just nothing but like strict self improvement where there's no fun involved, we're not going to be very motivated to continue with those things. So I'm very much encouraging for 2026. Yes, set goals, but you have to make sure there's some fun involved, there's some rewards and payoff involved, or you will likely be engaging in what we call quitters day, which is just a few weeks into the new year when we drop our resolutions in full.
- [02:19]
A
That's such a good point. I mean, Our culture really highlights productivity and maximizing your time and efficiency. But often it seems that is actually doing the opposite of what we want. Because when we feel that pressure and that stress, we kind of shut down, right?
- [02:36]
B
Oh, absolutely. I mean, so many of us, we are seeking out ways that we can relax, that we can detox a bit. People are just saying that they feel so burned out. I was just reading an article in Forbes this morning that was saying more people than ever before are reporting burnout in the workplace. And so when we put that data into play, we really have to factor in, you know, what we do need to actually set intentional goals of relaxation, of self care, making time for fun. When you look at your calendar for 2026, first of all, more than anything else, plan your family gatherings, plan your vacations, and let the work fall all around in the gaps that work will always find a way in. But maybe we don't make work and those hard hitting goals the number one priority or we're likely going to find ourselves pretty exhausted even by February.
- [03:28]
A
And by doing that, potentially you have more energy for work.
- [03:33]
B
Exactly. And it's not to say that our work shouldn't feel motivating this year, but I think this is a really good time to be intentional about that too and really being mindful of, okay, what is it in my day to day that does fill my cup, that is rewarding for me and if it's not, maybe I need to make a shift going into this year. You know, we talk a lot about the sunken cost illusion, and so many of us have been saying, well, I've just been doing XYZ forever, so I guess I should keep doing that. But this can be a really good time to assess. Listen, time is the most valuable commodity. Are we spending it in a way that feels fulfilling to us? And if the answer is no, maybe we make some shifts there.
- [04:13]
A
So what's your advice for someone who already feels overwhelmed by all there is to do and now they're supposed to find time to relax or find a new hobby and that kind of feels impossible.
- [04:23]
B
Yeah, I get that. You know, we can be really addicted to productivity in our society and actually taking time to rest can feel like a really difficult goal for a lot of people. We have lost the ability to be bored. We essentially don't have to be bored. We can just go on our phones and start scrolling. So doing an audit and seeing how am I actually spending my time in a day, how many hours am I spending on social media, for example, that can be a really Nice check in point of okay, if I'm spending three, four hours on my phone scrolling a day, how could I use that time in more meaningful ways? To relax, to sit with boredom. And for people who are listening saying, oh, my gosh, Lauren, I feel like my brain is on fire. If I have to sit and relax, I would encourage you. What is something else? Another activity where you can use your hands, but it's not to scroll on social media. So maybe you want to try a cooking class this year. Maybe you want to go kayaking. Maybe you want to try a painting class, something where you're using your hands and you can't be on your phone at the same time.
- [05:26]
A
For someone who says, actually, I'm burnt out and I can't seem to want to do anything, maybe I feel like I'm relaxing too much, but not in a good way. What's the advice then?
- [05:36]
B
One thing that I think we can really come back to is moving our bodies in ways that feel good. So there's a lot of research that just 20 minutes a day is like a facial for our brains when we move for. For just that 20 minutes, whether it's getting out for a walk, getting out for a swim, or whatever it may be.
- [05:55]
A
Right.
- [05:55]
B
That can be really, really helpful. And I think that's why you see so many gym memberships go through the roof in January. Right. But what are some ways that you can move your body where it feels restorative, it feels restful, but still so good for your brain health at the same time.
- [06:10]
A
Big picture. Now, kind of taking a step back, how would you describe your approach to the new year and how you like to think about starting fresh?
- [06:19]
B
Well, as a psychologist, I'm very much a behaviorist. I think that we really need to take action and not just think our way into change. A classic example is if you were to say, I really want to run a half marathon this year. Well, if you thought about it for six weeks, all right, I'm training in my mind, you'd be in real trouble when race day came. And if you had never put on a pair of shoes and put the steps in. And that's so much of what applies to anything that we want to improve on this year. I really specialize in helping folks with anxiety. And the number one thing that happens with anxiety is that people avoid. They want to buy more time. They make excuses for why now is not the right time. But really the antidote to that is taking action. And it can be the smallest action possible, but we have to Know, making change is uncomfortable. It doesn't necessarily feel good. And that's why I say we need some fun in these goals to balance it out, because we're asking our brains and bodies to do some pretty uncomfortable things. Whether it's challenging ourselves to go on a date this next month or to ask for a promotion this year, that's uncomfy, but it's helping you grow in really great ways. So, behaviorally, what steps can you take this year? Mindset is great. Think about it. But a hundred times more important is that you actually take the action to follow through on it.
- [07:39]
A
Can visualizing, though, help you then take the action?
- [07:43]
B
I mean, it definitely gets your head in the right space, and it helps you be mindful about it. But I think a lot of times people can attach a lot of anxiety to that process where they start thinking about all the things that could go wrong, and they start coming up with all the excuses for it. So as long as you can keep your visualization in an optimistic or realistic place, wonderful. But don't let it go into that darker territory where it moves into avoidance. So, for me, a classic example is actually picking up a paperback book, and I'll challenge myself to read 25 pages. And that can sound like a lot when I'm having trouble focusing, and it's difficult for me to sit with boredom. But by the end of those 25 pages, I'm like, ooh, I was getting into the story. So things like that, or having to follow a recipe and not just doordashing right, or Uber eats, those kind of things where we're having to pay attention a little bit, stay engaged in something that can be a really great way to reset our nervous system. And yes, at the end of the day, we do need to take those baby steps, because that's how the brain starts to buy in to, oh, okay, maybe I am actually capable. Maybe I can handle the fear that I was so afraid of that I told myself I couldn't manage. That gives our brain the behavioral data that we can, in fact, do the things that we often fear the most.
- [09:02]
A
I've often heard from people that you should reflect on the previous year. Do you think reflecting on the previous year is worthwhile? And if so, so what are some questions to ask yourself? Or if not, why?
- [09:13]
B
I love that question. I don't spend a ton of time in it. I think getting into regrets and things like that is only so productive. But I do think it's useful to look back on your year and see how you spent your time we can give ourselves credit for what we did do and then also asking ourselves, okay, what did I say yes to that felt more out of obligation or guilt that I really regretted saying yes to or I didn't enjoy doing those things. And how can I be mindful of how I'm spending my time going into this next year? I think that's a really important question to ask, especially for my people pleasing friends, because calendars can fill up really, really quickly, doing things that you don't necessarily want to do to make everybody else happy. And that's a recipe for burnout and feeling like you're not using your time in fulfilling ways.
- [10:06]
A
If I'm thinking now how I want this new year to go and I need to start taking the action as you talked, what is the first step? Is it putting it on my calendar?
- [10:16]
B
It is. It is. And I do start out with the fun things. What are some vacations that I would like to go on this year, if possible? What are some celebrations? I'm turning 35 this year. How do I want to celebrate that? And not letting celebrations and milestones pass us by. Plan those things first so that you have things to look forward to this year. We know in the psychology of our minds that when we have things to look forward to, oh, my gosh, that's like candy for our brains. It's really exciting for us.
- [10:46]
A
I love the idea of starting with certain fun things that you want to do and putting those on your calendar. But for someone who gets overwhelmed, do you recommend just starting with one thing at a time?
- [10:57]
B
Yeah, no, for sure. We call it chunking of. Make it as small of a piece as possible. So instead of saying, I want to plan all my fun activities for the year, break it down month by month for myself. My grandma's turning 95 this April. All right, that's going to be one task. How can we really celebrate her birthday big, right? Rather than thinking, oh, my gosh, how are we going to celebrate all the birthdays in the family this year? So very small pieces of the pie at a time. Because, again, this is supposed to be fun. This is supposed to be exciting. And honestly, a really creative process, too, so it shouldn't feel like this overwhelming burden or obligation. If it is, that's a sign that we probably need to chunk it down to a smaller bite size. And it could be as simple as, let's just save the date on the calendar and we'll figure out later what's going to happen.
- [11:46]
A
Because I'd rather be small and sustainable. Right than big. And then it fades away for sure, 100%. Your book generation Anxiety talks about managing anxiety, especially for millennials and Gen Z. So first I'm curious why you wanted to focus on those generations we've seen.
- [12:03]
B
In these two generations. And now we've got Gen Alpha coming in too. I mean, these two generations have been through so, so much in their lifespans. And it's like with the news stream, it's like there's something new every sing day for them to cope with, to integrate with. You know, Gen Z especially has grown up with social media around them every step of the way. And it's completely changed how we socialize, how we interact. It's certainly, I would argue, heightened our experience of anxiety because we're not getting as much real time, face to face engagement with other people. So many social interactions are happening online and virtually. And I would really argue that our social skills are like a muscle, that if we're not using them in a regular basis, they atrophy.
- [12:52]
A
And I know you've used a surfing metaphor for at least one way to cope with stress and anxiety. Can you tell us about that?
- [12:58]
B
I talk a lot about this riding the waves metaphor that I use in my talks with companies and schools and things like that. And really what it boils down to is actually accepting our situation, to ride the waves rather than resist and push back against them. A lot of us are just mentally treading, we are fighting our mind, we're fighting our anxiety. We're so scared of it, we want to make it go away. And it really is a counterintuitive approach. But it's this idea of accepting and saying, you know what, I do feel anxious and that's okay. A lot of that comes from acceptance and commitment therapy, or ACT for short, which was created by Dr. Steve Hayes. I am such a fan of his work. And really it's this notion that we can still live a meaningful life even with anxiety. I talk a lot about that in the book with my own experience of that. I've lived with emetophobia for much of my life, which is a phobia of vomit. Really, really fun. But it was so severe that it was stopping me from wanting to become a parent because I was so afraid of morning sickness and a kiddo vomiting on me and all these different things. And that's when I realized I cannot keep living my life this way, where I am living under the thumb of anxiety. And I was having so many clients come to me like that, where anxiety was just completely dictating the decisions they were making in their lives. And that's where I said, you know, enough's enough. Like you can say no or yes to something, but on your terms and not on the terms of anxiety. And that's one of the most rewarding parts of the work that I get to do is helping people reclaim and get their lives back, knowing anxiety is going to be there along the way. We're not going to wait for the anxiety to go away, because it may not. But how can I still help you live a full, full life, even with a little bit or a lot of bit of anxiety in the mix? That's okay.
- [14:48]
A
Yeah. Thank you for sharing that personal example. Do you mind sharing how that is going for you?
- [14:54]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been really, really good. You know, when I was having morning sickness and when my, my son is two and a half now, when he throws up, it's. It's always good exposure therapy.
- [15:06]
A
Right.
- [15:06]
B
And I, I say I've never felt more proud of myself since I've become a mom. And I will tell you, we are ready for round two. I just found out I'm pregnant with baby number two. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. And that's part of it is being really open about it. I think therapists in the past were very closed door about self disclosure and things like that. But I really believe in being a human first and sharing. Look, I live with this too. It's hard for me sometimes as well. But we're in the trenches together and we're going to figure it out. And I think part of that is being open about the experience and being real about it rather than just having to put on a brave face all the time, I think that connects us all so, so much more.
- [15:53]
A
And another question for you, as you're planning and thinking about a New Year in 2026, is there anything besides having a new baby, of course, that you're hoping for or that you're planning for that you might try to do differently?
- [16:06]
B
I think what I have said all along in this conversation of coming back to fun is very much my own intention for this year. I have a private practice, a group practice with a team, and I do a lot of speaking. And if there's anything I've learned in the last few years is that time can be fleeting. Our health, with our family and our friends, things can change. And so really, just valuing the time that I have with loved ones and living that full life and making sure that I do plan for the fun this year, that is a huge goal of mine.
- [16:39]
A
I totally agree. And it's part of what prompted my desire for this episode because I'm hoping to be more intentional about fun and just everything in my life. Like not just being so reactive, but really trying to think ahead a little bit more.
- [16:53]
B
I love it. I love it. Well, let's do it together.
- [16:56]
A
Final thoughts or just anything else to add as we start 2026?
- [17:00]
B
I would say as you look into 2026, don't fear the challenge. Don't fear the discomfort. It means you are growing. And you know what? We can handle a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. Our brain will tell us all day that we're not strong enough. We're not. Our brain has an excuse for just about everything. But come back in and remind yourself, no, I'm resilient. I have tremendous grit, I can get through hard things and I deserve to have a really full, fulfilling and fun year ahead.
- [17:35]
A
Well, thank you so much to Dr. Lauren Cook for joining us. Head to drlaurencook.com to learn more about having her speak to your company and grab her book Generation A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World. Of course, we here at the Newsworthy would love to be part of your fun, intentional 2026. We will continue to provide daily news roundups every Monday through Friday that help you stay informed without spending hours scrolling or falling for clickbait. More facts, more stories, more perspectives, but with less time, less anxiety and less overwhelm. So be sure you're subscribed or following the Newsworthy in your favorite podcast app. And by the way, you may have noticed we did not have a sponsor break today. If you had liked that. If you enjoyed having no interruptions, you'll love getting every episode of the Newsworthy ad free in 2026. By becoming a Newsworthy Insider, you'll get ad free episodes and have a chance to ask me anything as I prepare for an Insider Only bonus episode. Answering those questions plus your monthly or yearly support helps ensure we can do this show regardless of what sponsors have to say about it. So grab your free seven day trial to start@thenewsworthy.com Insider Again, that's thenewsworthy.com Insider year. We're back on Monday to catch you up on everything you may have missed over the New Year's break. Until then, have a great rest of your weekend and Happy New Year.