Podcast Summary: The NewsWorthy

Episode: Special Edition: How to Disagree This Holiday Season (Without Losing Your S***)
Date: November 22, 2025
Host: Erica Mandy
Guest: Angela Caldwell, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Episode Overview

This special edition of The NewsWorthy explores strategies for navigating political (and other thorny) disagreements with family, especially during the holidays—a season often marked by tension alongside togetherness. Host Erica Mandy is joined by Angela Caldwell, a family therapist and founder of the Caldwell Family Institute, who offers professional insights and practical tools for keeping peace and fostering connection across the dinner table, even when opinions—and emotions—run hot.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Political Divisions in Families Have Intensified

• Increasing Prevalence of Political Estrangement:
  • Caldwell has observed a significant rise in families divided by politics, often resulting in estrangement.

    "Ten years ago, 20 years ago, families could disagree and it could be civil. ... Now I have almost entirely politically divided families where we are, we have cut off speaking terms. ... It's gotten so divided. So it's incredibly frequent, I'm sad to say." — Angela Caldwell (01:40)

• Identity and Politics:
  • The shift is attributed to people integrating politics more deeply into their identities.

    "People are starting to embrace their politics more as a core part of their identity. ... I think we embody and become our political viewpoints." — Caldwell (02:26)

• 'Tribalism' and Polarization:
  • Caldwell notes contemporary politics are presented in binary, ‘choose your side’ terms—by leadership, not just individuals—promoting tribalism and unhealthy division (02:57).

2. Caldwell’s Three Strategies for Handling Political Disagreements

a. Check Your Agenda at the Door

• The urge to “win” arguments, or change minds, often underlies family conflicts.

  "When we enter into a political encounter ... we either consciously or unconsciously have an agenda to change that person's mind. ... If you are able to resist that urge and instead embrace ... curiosity, check your agenda and actually listen to what the other person is saying. That's the first piece of advice." — Caldwell (04:32)

• Serious self-reflection is recommended before gatherings to prepare for potentially triggering conversations.

b. Practice Humility

• Acknowledge that no one is an objective authority or omniscient source, and approach others with openness.

  "If you practice humility, what you're able to do is admit that you are not the high priestess of the political desert ... maybe the things that I am certain about don't matter as much as I think they matter. ... It actually makes it easier to stay curious." — Caldwell (06:16)

• Be prepared to admit gaps in knowledge, even about closely-held views.

c. Be Relentlessly Respectful

• Staying calm and refusing to engage at the level of insults can reduce escalation.

  "When your opponent starts to insult you or your viewpoints ... you breathe. In fact, you let them see you breathe and you don’t give in. ... The more relentlessly respectful you are to your family member ... after about a minute or two, it comes down to a respectful, reasonable, sensible conversation level." — Caldwell (11:14)

3. Practical Examples From Real Families

• Caldwell shares a therapy scenario where a respectful exchange about a politically divisive figure led to both parties feeling heard, rather than entrenching conflict (08:22).
• Respectful curiosity and humility allowed both parties to acknowledge each other's views and even admit where new information was learned.

4. When to Change the Subject or Step Away

• If constructive dialogue breaks down or “rage” starts to take over, it’s okay to pause or change topics.

  "When you can see that this isn't really ... getting to this cool, respectful exchange of ideas, ... hey, I can see you care very much about your viewpoints. I do too. So let's leave it and let's move on to our next moment so that we can still have a good time." — Caldwell (12:14)

• Employing empathy and seeing the ‘attacking’ person as scared, rather than malicious, can also help manage one’s reactivity (12:40).

5. Should Families Talk Politics At All?

• Caldwell cautions against rigid “family policies” (e.g., “no politics at dinner”), instead suggesting reading the room and deciding contextually.

  "I don't like for any of us to have a hard and fast rule like that. ... I'd rather we go in, feel the room, read our opponent’s mood and energy, and make a decision then." — Caldwell (16:29)

6. Common Pitfalls: The ‘Gotcha’ Trap

• Avoid calling out contradictions (“Gotcha!” moments) in the heat of debate, as these often escalate conflict.

  "Playing Gotcha is a huge mistake ... The better approach is to note it and wait for a soft moment. ... Give them the benefit of the doubt. When we play Gotcha, it's such a conversation crusher. That's when the other person's going to start hurling insults at you." — Caldwell (17:16)

7. Repairing After a Blow-Up

• Allow time for tensions to cool, then approach the other for repair:

  "It's on you to find the moment later in the living room and approach them for what we call the repair to the rupture ... ‘Hey, I think I really hurt your feelings back there. I want you to know that that was a weak moment for me.’”— Caldwell (18:36)

• If you were hurt, affirm the other’s intentions weren’t to hurt; avoid accusatory language (19:05).

8. Generational Differences

• Awareness is useful, but don’t let generational differences become a reason to dismiss others’ perspectives.

  "If you take it as far as to therefore dismiss everything they have to say, it can become poison." — Caldwell (20:31)

9. Signs of Hope and Positive Change

• Caldwell sees families beginning to realize demonizing each other isn’t working and becoming more open to safe disagreement:

  "The more positive experiences ... the more we're making it safe to disagree ... Maybe we can return to that time where we could hold different viewpoints and still maintain an intimate relationship." — Caldwell (21:29)

10. Addressing Extreme Polarization and Last Resorts

• Use “curiosity” scripts rather than accusatory ones (e.g., “Help me understand…” instead of “How can you believe that?”).
• Estrangement should only be considered in cases of abuse without remorse.

  "It's when there's abuse without remorse, it's the last resort. Every family therapist hates this solution, but sometimes it is the solution." — Caldwell (23:19)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Team Mentality:
  “I think other people chose a side because we were presented with two choices. ... There’s also this pressure. You better choose and you better choose now. And if you choose A, you cannot associate with B. And that feels new to me.” — Caldwell (02:57)

• On Prepping for Difficult Encounters:
  “This is like meditative, hardcore introspection. ... I know I’m on a mission to change my mom’s mind. It’s not going to happen. That’s not what today is about.” — Caldwell (06:16)

• On Relentless Respect:
  “The more relentlessly respectful you are ... they actually feel like the jerk. ... It comes down to a respectful, reasonable, sensible conversation.” — Caldwell (11:14)

• On Softening After Conflict:
  “Wait for the hour or two to pass. ... Approach that person, acknowledge—‘Hey, it got pretty heated back there, and I want you to know ... I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. ... Would you be open to trying again someday?’” — Caldwell (19:05)

• On the ‘Village’ Approach:
  “Father Greg Boyle ... said, right now there is too much tribalism and not enough village. ... If we can be relentlessly respectful, if we can practice humility, if we cannot push our agendas on one another and just tolerate each other's differences, we are going to be able to move toward the village and away from the tribes.” — Caldwell (23:52)

Important Timestamps

• Current state of political division: 01:40-04:22
• Why disagreements now feel personal: 02:26-03:55
• Three main strategies: 04:32-11:56
• Example family scenario: 08:22-10:14
• De-escalation & leaving conversations: 12:02-13:10
• Should families avoid politics?: 16:19-16:29
• Pitfalls and ‘gotcha’ moments: 17:16-18:28
• Repairing after conflict: 18:28-20:18
• Generational awareness: 20:18-21:04
• Positive shifts observed: 21:12-22:14
• When to consider estrangement: 23:10-23:49
• Final 'village not tribe' takeaway: 23:52-24:42

Final Takeaway

Caldwell leaves listeners with a challenge and hope: shift from being ‘tribal’ in your divisions to embracing the broader, messier, but more forgiving ethos of the ‘village.’ Approach family—and all relationships—with humility, respect, and curiosity. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it for the sake of connection and civility.

Guest Info: Angela Caldwell, LMFT — Learn more at [angelacaldwell.com].
Host: Erica Mandy — Listen to daily NewsWorthy news roundups for fast, fair, and fun news coverage.