← The Nikki Glaser Podcast
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- [00:00]
Nikki Glaser
This is Ashley Echenetti from the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. Have you ever thought about your relationship with money? What if I told you that was the one thing that could change everything about your financial situation? Dow Janes is here to help you unlearn what you think you know about money. Founders Brit and Lorianne are on a mission to get more money in the hands of more women. Through their free online classes, they teach you how to overcome financial fears, tackle debt and learn to Invest. Go to Dowjanes.com Ashley for access to their free class. That is Dowjanes.com Ashley unlike what you're.
- [00:46]
Brian Frangie
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- [01:15]
Joel
Hey, this is Joel and Matt from the How2Money podcast.
- [01:19]
Brian Frangie
My kids, Matt, they've got a few long weekends coming up, so I'm looking forward to taking a few trips with my family during those breaks.
- [01:25]
Joel
Nice.
- [01:25]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah.
- [01:25]
Joel
And while you're away, you can host your house on Airbnb. Thanks to the Airbnb co host feature, hosting is now easier than ever. You can access a network of high quality local co hosts who can help you get your home ready for guests. Find a co host@airbnb.com host if fashion.
- [01:44]
Cindy Crawford
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- [02:12]
Nikki Glaser
The Nikki Glazer Podcast.
- [02:22]
Noah Avior
Here's Nikki.
- [02:24]
Nikki Glaser
Hello. Here I am and welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm Nikki Glaser. Everyone here? Noah, hi. Brian, hi. You're on camera. Don't forget to like look ahead. Sometimes I watch the YouTube and I'm like, we're all just like looking down in the corner like, we're just recording audio. It's a T. Rex head.
- [02:45]
Sean O'Connor
Well, no, this is realistic for me because I don't make eye contact with.
- [02:48]
Nikki Glaser
That's a good point. Okay, Sorry. You're giving the viewers the real experience of being friends with you. Okay. And Sean O'Connor also is joining us.
- [02:56]
Matt
Hey.
- [02:57]
Nikki Glaser
Hey. Oh, listen to that. Crispy, clean, crystal clear mic.
- [03:02]
Matt
I got a mic now.
- [03:04]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah.
- [03:05]
Matt
You can really hear how terrible my voice is.
- [03:08]
Nikki Glaser
I know. You just had the option to put the headphones into the mic so that you could hear your own voice and. No, no, I had offered that, and you said, God, no, no, I don't want to hear my own voice. You. You opted out. I don't mind hearing my own voice when it's live. I don't want to hear it later. Right.
- [03:25]
Noah Avior
Same for me.
- [03:26]
Nikki Glaser
Do you feel the same way? Okay, yes. Okay. Yes.
- [03:29]
Sean O'Connor
I like hearing my voice live. Yeah, I. I want to hear because it makes me feel like I'm being recorded. And then I. I don't know. I feel like it, like, gives me a little bit of a boost.
- [03:38]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, it makes me feel like I'm on stage.
- [03:41]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah.
- [03:42]
Nikki Glaser
Like, it's like, as the would be doing stand up in your room as opposed to, like, honest. It's. It. The stakes are higher.
- [03:49]
Matt
Interesting. I'm the exact opposite. I never want to hear myself. Honestly, when I. Whenever I pay too close attention to how I sound on stage, all I hear is, like, a ping on the mic, and then I just start thinking about that the entire time. I just, like. I like to pretend we're not being recorded so I could be super unfiltered.
- [04:08]
Nikki Glaser
Oh, see, that's so interesting, because I'm way better when I'm. The pressure's on, and. And I am not good at all when the pressure's off. Like, I look at, like, video that Emily takes of me over the weekend to, like, make into a reel, and if I don't think I'm being recorded or I haven't, like, prepared something to do, I am so uncharismatic. I look like a child laborer in the, like, 1809 or something like that. The joy is drained from my face. I'm like, kind of. There's, like I'm devoid of talent. I can't even. I can't. I'm like, I. Why did I even think I could do a reality show at any point where I would be interesting all the time? I'm so boring to watch most of the time. And then my. Then Kirsten's mom did a really good impression of me as a child or as a teenager because she said that, you know, people ask her what I was like, and it's just crossed arms, staring at the ground, like, kind of looking pissed, like biting my lip. And that is like, I think that's based on the footage that Emily's taken of me. I think that is my stasis.
- [05:11]
Sean O'Connor
That's interesting. You don't have, you don't get any benefit from doing anything other than getting praise or like, you need to be watched and seen and you need to get that praise from people watching you. So much so that if no one's watching you, you can, you'll get nothing out of your own personal.
- [05:29]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, I mean, but I will go as far as to say I'm, well, I'm having a really bad self esteem day, so let's just take everything I say with a thousand grains of salt. But I had to watch, you know, they're, we're working on putting together a highlight reel of my career for like the intro video for my tour. And I had to watch that today. And I'm just like, why is this famous? Like, what have you done? Like, you are just so bored. Like, I just like, was like, I was like an Internet troll on myself. I wanted to cyber bully myself so hard. I could have taken me down so bad. And like, I think I'm just constantly. I just was like, I came home and I was at Starbucks watching it because I have been avoiding watching it forever because I don't want to watch myself and I don't want to have to give notes on it. But you have to, because if I don't give notes on it, then Chris and Emily just give notes. And then when it's not up to snuff, when I eventually have to see it, I'll be like, I hate it. And they'll be like, well, you didn't give notes, so I have to watch it. I'm at Starbucks watching it and I came home and I, like, was crying to Chris about how I just can't. I can't be. I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I think I'm quitting. I just can't. I can't believe anyone is entertained by me. I can't believe that I've tricked everyone. Like, imposter syndrome is, is working overtime today. Like, I'm just like. And then I had to watch a highlight reel of my life that I'm just like, just give up already.
- [06:55]
Matt
Like, yeah, but listen now you have it for your funeral, which is great.
- [07:02]
Nikki Glaser
I just want to be buried in an unmarked grave. No one can find me. I want them. I want. What everyone talks about is about how you can't find my grave so that everyone doesn't focus on my lack of talent.
- [07:14]
Sean O'Connor
I don't even send you. Like, if we made a highlight reel of like, 10, 15 people that are even more famous than you, I think you'll. You'd see why you're famous also. I mean, like, no one else has. Like, nobody has any. If you look at just highlights of people, very few people, unless you're an athlete, have actual talent.
- [07:35]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, I agree. I think I. That's why I told about the highlight reel. I don't want any jokes. I don't want any, like, setup punch. I. I don't want to hear the audience watching this video and not laughing because they're not in the. They're not in the show. Right. Like, they're not in the performance where that joke had context. And so I said, I only want non sequitur. And I almost. I had requested on sequitur to begin with, but I almost. I did the snarky thing of looking up the definition of it to put it in the email to like, unless case you don't know what it means. It means. It means nothing outside. It means it's completely untext. But then I didn't do that because I'm like, they know what that means. So I just want it to be like, little, like, moments here and there that aren't trying to be funny. Like, I don't want anyone to laugh.
- [08:18]
Sean O'Connor
At this reel, but the audience does. The audience would laugh at the reel if you put jokes in there. I mean, I've seen a million pre roll. Like, here's what's coming up next at the Comedy Attic videos. And people do laugh at the bits played before they. If it's good. They do.
- [08:35]
Matt
They do. It is weird. I was always like, oh, no. Like, I remember being at the Comedy Attic and knowing that your video.
- [08:42]
Nikki Glaser
Video had played the week before.
- [08:44]
Matt
Oh, no. My. I was more. I was more like. They played Nate Bragazzi before me. And I was like, I don't think I'm gonna do as well.
- [08:53]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah. Oh, that's funny. I always was like, oh, my God. That means that my video was playing all last week during someone else's shows. And, like, that comic had to see me bomb in front of them.
- [09:02]
Sean O'Connor
No, your video is cr. I saw those videos.
- [09:04]
Nikki Glaser
Okay. Thank you. Yeah.
- [09:06]
Sean O'Connor
Very good videos.
- [09:06]
Nikki Glaser
I don't mean to be like, when, when tell me how great I am. I'm more trying to relate. Maybe anyone else can relate to just feeling like, what, like fraudulent and what's the point? And like, oh, my God, I have to like, keep this up. I feel like what's his name? Leonardo DiCaprio in that movie where he just is, like, pretending to be other people and he catch me if he stop or he'll just like he has no other thing to do. Yeah, catch me if you can. I'm kind of feeling like that maybe.
- [09:39]
Sean O'Connor
You change your perspective on what that pre roll video is supposed to be. It's not necessarily supposed to be there to entertain or to make people laugh. It's supposed to be there to get people amped.
- [09:49]
Nikki Glaser
It's more supposed to be like a lie. To me, though, that feels dishonest because it's like, are you ready? And it's like the words, like, come out and it's like, it's time for Nick. And it's just like, boom, boom, boom. And it's like, just. It's too. It feels like I don't, I don't like what it. I can't follow that. In other words, like, I really can't. And like, it's just me going, like, I guess I've always wanted, like, it's about, like, I don't know, I think I'm just going to kill it. Like, it's all these confident moments where I've, like, had enough caffeine in my system and just was in a good enough mood on the red carpet and like, and thinking about, like, messages I want to send to younger girls instead of like, whatever this is that I'm talking about. That's probably a bad example for younger girls of me hating on myself so that they go, well, I don't achieve as much as you that I should probably think I'm worthless. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying it's never enough. And I'm just having a bad day. I'm just tired. And it, I. Today is a day on my schedule that says no work. And I. It says I want once every 10 days. I want a day with nothing to do. Nothing. And podcast does it is fine, like podcast, whatever. It's like I can be myself and let my hair down, but, well, no.
- [11:07]
Sean O'Connor
Work is short for nothing's working. Did you know that?
- [11:12]
Nikki Glaser
Oh, is that true? That true?
- [11:15]
Sean O'Connor
That's just how it feels that way. Look at the video. Look at the video. It's not for you. It's not. It's not meant to make you feel good. Look at it in the perspective of the audience. And if you're buying a ticket and you're coming to see the Nikki Glaser show, you want to see that video and get amped. Even though you feel like you might not be able to meet that. That bar that you're setting for the audience's sake, it is awesome to see, like, essentially a trailer for your favorite comedian before they come out on stage. Think about, like, the Burt shows or. Or if you've ever seen, like, an Andrew Schultz show. Like, you. Like, I'm sure they did this in Vegas at the Bert show, right? Didn't they play, like, essentially a trailer for Burt?
- [11:56]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, but those guys just believe in themselves, like, that. That's, like, genuine behind it. I'm in the back chugging a Celsius, trying to feel something as this video is playing, and I'm cringing because I'm like, oh, this isn't me. Like, a better video. Like, that's why I love Bo Burnham's song about. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna make you laugh, but I also don't respect you for laughing at me because I don't think that I'm good enough. I want to care what you think, but not care what you think. I want to give you the night out that you deserve, but I also want to do what I want to do, which is pro. Even like. Like, I feel like. Not that I don't. I don't. I do respect my crowd. That's. That's absolutely. Actually, I respect my crowd more than ever now because I'm like. I'm doing weirder stuff than I've ever done, and they're still by my side, but I just feel. Yeah, I just. I don't. I don't know what the feeling is. Like, it's getting too big. Yeah, I feel too big, and I can't fill those shoes. Like, I felt better in, like, smaller theaters now. I feel like I. When I'm there in the moment, I don't want anyone to come into my shows thinking I'm not having a good time and I'm not, like, in it. And I don't, like, feel like I deserve it in the moment, because I actually do. When I'm out on the stage, like, all of this stuff goes away. It really does. That's actually the reason I keep doing it. It's like. It's the fuel that makes me feel like none of. None of these, like, apprehensions I have or, you know, insecurities I have, it all disappears on stage. So it's like it is real. And. And I don't. I would never want to. And I will tell you the truth. Like, if I was miserable on stage, I would. I would say that, but I really am not. So I don't want anyone coming to my shows thinking I'm like, oh, I don't want to do this. I will say that I'm dreading it until I step out on stage. But the second I step on a stage, I am having so much fun, and I am not looking at the clock, waiting for it to be over. The only time I've ever felt that way, really, is at that Cabo show that we did, Sean, like, where we box. That's the only time I'm watching the clock. Like, when is this over? Otherwise, I am loving it, but I'm dreading any. I dread everything. I dread going out to dinner. I know I don't. I don't love going out to dinner because I don't have to perform, but I dread anytime I have to be on. And then when I am on, I'm having a good time.
- [14:06]
Sean O'Connor
I can relate to that for sure.
- [14:07]
Matt
To go back to Brian's point is, you could have the Hype video, and it could be, like, super, like, you are the Chicago bulls in the 90s, like, really hyped up. And then you could get two minutes of just undercutting it as soon as you walk out on stage.
- [14:24]
Nikki Glaser
Like, that's a good idea. I mean, one time I did that because I used to have one of these reels that was kind of, like, really selling it. And I went out and I had a moment where I said, did you all enjoy that video that I had put together so that you would walk away feeling entertained tonight? Because I don't feel like this show is good enough. And at least you saw that, and that was impressive. Like, I. And then they were just confused. Like, people are confused when I shit on myself because it doesn't go with what the night looks like. And it's not what they think of me as. And I have to kind of.
- [14:53]
Noah Avior
They don't see you like that.
- [14:54]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah. And I, I, I know I shouldn't even reveal this is how I feel about myself, because no one wants their, like, someone that they. I don't want to say the word idolize or like, like, are entertained by thinking, like, I don't know if it makes. It's probably bad for business to Say that I'm insecure and I don't think I'm good, but I'm human, and that's what's going on in my head. And I feel like. I feel like most artists feel this way if they're telling.
- [15:21]
Sean O'Connor
Why don't you just not. Not watch the video?
- [15:24]
Nikki Glaser
Because I know that I will see it when I'm off stage and I will go, why did you put that one thing in? That's so embarrassing.
- [15:31]
Sean O'Connor
Can you not watch it before you get on?
- [15:34]
Nikki Glaser
No, I'm like, you know, in the wings of the state, so at least hear it. And I will hear it. And hearing is worse than. Than seeing. If I could watch it on mute, I would be fine with it. I would have no notes.
- [15:44]
Matt
But what if we put you on wires so you're above the stage, so after sounds play, you drop down?
- [15:50]
Nikki Glaser
Oh, God, I don't know. That's. There's got to be a solution. I think I'm just tired.
- [15:57]
Sean O'Connor
What about playing the video at the beginning of the show and then Sean has to come out and undercut the video?
- [16:04]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, you have to follow it, I think. Do you ever feel that way of, like, even when you're, like, in. When you're having, like, these great. A great moment in your life, you're like, oh, this just means I have to keep it. Like, I really feel like if I had a kid, I'd just be like. I would just be worried about it. Like, what if I. What if it goes away? Like, you know what I mean? Like, you can't even enjoy something because you're just so worried about when it will go away or when. You know, like, I keep thinking about, oh, you know, I'm playing these giant venues and selling out multiple shows next time around. Everyone will make fun of me when I only do three shows in Boston and not six. And they'll go like, yes, Nikki's failing now. And they'll, like, they'll, like, talk about it amongst themselves and say, well, she had a big year, but then everyone failed, figured it out or whatever. Like, do you think about that stuff?
- [16:52]
Sean O'Connor
I have the exact opposite. I. Whenever something really good happens for me, I get mad. And because I'm so bitter, I'm just like, it's about fucking time. Like, why did it take this fucking long?
- [17:04]
Nikki Glaser
I have never felt that way in my whole life.
- [17:07]
Matt
No, I'm just like. I always just think when something good happens to me, I'm like, what if I just die right now?
- [17:14]
Nikki Glaser
That's what I think. I like, that I like that because then you have it and you never have to do it and you never disappoint anyone. That is like. Honestly, sometimes I go, like, I think that's the best case scenario for me of having, like. Because everyone loves the story of, like, what could that girl have been? What would her potential have been? And you can just go bananas thinking about, like, what a life this woman could have led. And the truth is, it would have been probably mediocre. Right? Like that most things are eventually. And so I kind of want to get something and then, like, you know, well, that's.
- [17:47]
Sean O'Connor
Then the trailer becomes an in memorial. And maybe that's what it should be. Maybe it should be.
- [17:51]
Nikki Glaser
No. My in Memoriam's gonna be popular. Oh, yeah, we have to put that in the reel. I didn't even think about that. All right, we gotta go to break. And I'll come back in a better mood.
- [18:00]
Joel
Bye.
- [18:03]
Ryan Seacrest
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- [18:28]
Nikki Glaser
Meaningful beauty confidence is beautiful.
- [18:31]
Ryan Seacrest
Learn more@meaningful beauty.com.
- [18:36]
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- [19:34]
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- [20:05]
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- [21:05]
Nikki Glaser
All right, Feeling better?
- [21:10]
Sean O'Connor
We just watched Nikki's hype video before during the break. Now she's in a better mood.
- [21:15]
Nikki Glaser
I'm back. I'm. Dude, I'm just. I just don't know. Some days it's just like what's the point of all of this? You just have to keep eating and working out and trying to get rest and unpacking and cleaning your clothes and packing again. And I keep thinking that maybe the point of all of this be based on Instagram reels that eventually show up on my feed at 3am Once I've exhausted everything else that the point of life is love and I just don't even know what the fuck that means. I don't think it is because then I see Elon screaming at me and. Or you know, like happiness. But like happiness is clean clothes that will eventually get dirty and I have to clean again.
- [21:57]
Sean O'Connor
Now you know what happiness is?
- [21:59]
Nikki Glaser
A warm gun.
- [22:00]
Sean O'Connor
What Happiness? Happiness is unhappiness. It is striving towards something that is so far away that your life is dedicated towards getting that thing. And it seems like once people do reach that pinnacle and achieve that thing. They realize that, oh my God, what was the point of all this? And then they lose even the concept of possibly being happy.
- [22:20]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah.
- [22:20]
Sean O'Connor
Whereas if you're poor and you're working a 9 to 5 and you're like, I gotta make enough money so that I can finally quit this job and go to, you know, Bermuda at. The concept of being happy in the future is still something you have. But once you achieve that and you can just fly to Bermuda, your job, you got a goon.
- [22:41]
Noah Avior
Okay, hard disagree.
- [22:43]
Nikki Glaser
Why I like gooning is because it's. It's. It's the promise of something good that is down the. The pike or pipe or whatever they say.
- [22:51]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah.
- [22:51]
Nikki Glaser
And it's not. It hasn't arrived yet because once it arrives, it's only going to go away. It cannot. It can maintain, but it's going to really hard. It's not going to feel as good as when you first got it. So it's diminishing returns. No matter what. Or it goes away. It doesn't get really better. Okay, Noah, what's hard disagree?
- [23:07]
Noah Avior
Okay, hard disagree. Because I feel like that kind of focuses on the financial aspects, which. Yeah, okay, that will make people less stressed, but I don't know if that equates happiness. Happiness is what I learned over the weekend is the ability to empathize and emotional regulation. So if you can regulate your emotions and be an empathetic person, that means that you have a great social circle and really meaningful friendships and stuff.
- [23:35]
Matt
Oh, that's so. That's so inspiring because to me, I was gonna hard disagree with both of you and say happiness is looking at your phone. I genuinely love looking at my phone.
- [23:49]
Nikki Glaser
Let's talk about what makes when we are genuinely the happiest. We are.
- [23:54]
Sean O'Connor
That's dopamine. I mean, if you want to equate happiness.
- [23:57]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah. But isn't. Isn't dopamine happiness? How the fuck do you. That's the. That's the. That, that's the thing that goes off in your. That's the chemical that's rushing through your no system.
- [24:08]
Sean O'Connor
Dopamine, you're happy. Dope. It's not when you're happy. Dopamine is a chemical that's meant. That's meant to get you to do something to make you happy. That's what dopamine is. So when you're looking at your phone, you're searching for happiness and you're getting this feedback that, oh my God, I'm getting closer to the thing that's gonna make me finally happy.
- [24:26]
Nikki Glaser
That's what makes me happy, though. Dopamine is what makes me happy. I do not. Like, I just realized I don't like happiness. I like dopamine.
- [24:35]
Matt
I'm hard agreeing with Nikki. I don't actually know what real happiness is.
- [24:39]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah, you're supposed to be meditating.
- [24:44]
Nikki Glaser
I don't have to. I want to meditate so bad, but I am sometimes. I'm too depressed today to meditate. Like, I have no hope today.
- [24:51]
Sean O'Connor
I know how that feels when you're.
- [24:52]
Nikki Glaser
In, like, that kind of depression.
- [24:54]
Sean O'Connor
Oh, yeah.
- [24:54]
Nikki Glaser
I don't have. I don't care about the cure. I don't want to find it. I don't want to do your little exercise. Nikki from last week, who was, like, hopeful about meditating. I don't want to do it. I don't even care about feeling happy. It's pointless, because I'm just going to feel like this again. Because last week I felt happy, and now I feel like this again. What is the goddamn point? That's how I'm feeling today. But I will say that the happiest I am is when I am done with something and I get to be on my phone in my bed watching ASMR videos with one AirPod in the other. Not because I have to sleep on my side. And if you sleep your ear into the pillow with an AirPod in it goes. Do you guys have that same thing happen? It, like, pushes in your ear too much.
- [25:42]
Sean O'Connor
I just put on a speaker.
- [25:44]
Nikki Glaser
You do. I don't want. I can't have Chris hearing me listen to these Asian women eat giant cakes. I have him hear these tiny Asian women eating cakes at two times the speed. I can't have that.
- [25:58]
Matt
You don't want to know that. That will make him horny.
- [26:03]
Nikki Glaser
Or. I like, it's too embarrassing, what I listen to. But that is. That is my happiness. And then having the dog has already pooped and peed recently. That is also happiness. She's tucked in the bed next to me. She's not, like, wanting to play. She's been, like, exercised enough. Okay, so dog is done. I'm. I have nothing on my to do list. I'm an on do not disturb, and no one's waiting for a reply for me on something. And. And I have at least 11 hours ahead of me with nothing to do. That is happening.
- [26:39]
Sean O'Connor
Yes.
- [26:40]
Nikki Glaser
Before I have to wake up.
- [26:41]
Sean O'Connor
I agree with that. And then you're just free. Even more than 11 hours would be nice.
- [26:45]
Nikki Glaser
Like, oh, I mean, I'm not Getting greedy here. I mean, I would. It would be amazing. The two full days does not exist. Today I was supposed to have nothing to do and I woke up and Emily's so sweet. She like texts me every morning with my to do. Like, I need a response on this. And it's like numbered one through literally 48 and level of importance. And I'm like, this is not a day off. When I wake up at 7am to walk my dog and there's a nine point checklist and I know Emily's gonna text me right now being like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I love the list. Emily and you information like that is. That is crucial. But like I had to wake up this morning and I know this is like, Nikki, I would kill for your life. I know there's a thousand people thinking that right now at least of. But I had to wake up this morning and go through all of the pictures from this weekend, which I don't want to see because I've recently gained weight. I didn't have a spray tan and I didn't like a lot of the dresses that I put on my body. And I. And my face is just doing things I don't like right now. And my hair is breaking off, so I look like I always have like a halo. And I've been to the Magic House. If you're from St. Louis, you know what I'm talking about. And it's like hair sticking up on end. Like it's. So anyway, I was going through all these pictures, then I had to format them, then I have to post them, then I have to write a caption that's like. And then I just picture like a comedian reading my captions and being like, she's too sincere. She should be funny. And then I try to think of something funny and then I just give up because I'm like, I don't want to. I hate trying to be funny. It's like so exhausting so that I'm just sincere. And then I post it and I don't look at it. I just said, I wish I was that cool of a girl. Like, there's some girls that just really make this look so easy. And they, they're like very high fashion, but they're still relatable.
- [28:27]
Sean O'Connor
The only people that are consistently happy 100% of the time are idiots. I mean, that's the. Like the people who are walking through life constantly happy have no idea what's going on, have no conception of like, how they're perceived and that's. That's true.
- [28:42]
Nikki Glaser
They're driving cyber trucks. I think the people that are happy.
- [28:44]
Sean O'Connor
No, those people are, like, the angriest people on the planet.
- [28:47]
Nikki Glaser
I know, but they're really narcissist happy where they don't know that they're not. Not happy, but they don't know what comes from a place of insecurity.
- [28:54]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah, no, I get that. I get that. But I feel like cybertruck. The reason why you buy a cybertruck is because you're so angry and embittered with the world that you just want to be in constant troll mode your whole life is. I want to get into several confrontations today.
- [29:09]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah.
- [29:10]
Sean O'Connor
This is the. This is the quickest way. The quickest route is by buying a cybertruck and driving around town.
- [29:16]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah.
- [29:16]
Matt
Here's what I'll say. I don't think anyone's happy. I think people are happy at times. I think we're all happy at times.
- [29:24]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah.
- [29:24]
Matt
But I don't think consistently happy is actually a way that you can actually live. That is like. Like, I think you. You have to. It's all a roller coaster. There's ups and downs. And now me, I'm on ssri, so I never even have an up or a down. I am just feeling crazy on those.
- [29:43]
Nikki Glaser
I really was craving those today. I was craving feeling nothing today so much because it's just so hard to. To. To, like, fake it.
- [29:54]
Sean O'Connor
There are some people, though, who are psychotically happy all the time, and we met a couple of them. Who's the. We met that. Nick Swisher. Nick Swisher? Yeah. Remember him? He was happy. He's happy all the time. And then that guy we interviewed from the Not Safe podcast who lived in the back of O.J. simpson's house.
- [30:16]
Matt
Kato.
- [30:17]
Sean O'Connor
Kato Kaelin. He seems constantly, psychotically happy.
- [30:20]
Matt
Yeah, it's not.
- [30:22]
Nikki Glaser
No way is Cato. Caitlin happy.
- [30:24]
Sean O'Connor
Okay, well, Nick Swisher at least, is a great example of someone who is somehow figured out how to be 100% happy 100% of the time.
- [30:32]
Matt
I tell you how he's a baseball player, and they don't think about anything outside of baseball.
- [30:37]
Sean O'Connor
That's right.
- [30:38]
Nikki Glaser
Nice.
- [30:39]
Matt
And I, like, I was watching a clip today of, like, the Mets first baseman Pete Alonso signing a ball for a child at spring training, and, like, he just looks at the kid and goes, school sucks. Right. I feel like that was, like, a perfect encapsulation of the baseball player's brain.
- [30:57]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, school does suck. That. That was such a simple thing. That was like the worst part of life when you were a kid. I mean, I know a lot of kids have a lot worse things going on than.
- [31:05]
Sean O'Connor
Damn, that heads home for the kid. It's amazing that he's able to relate to that kid on such a level.
- [31:10]
Nikki Glaser
I mean but that is like all you think sucks when you're a kid.
- [31:14]
Matt
Yeah, Yeah.
- [31:16]
Nikki Glaser
I thought litter bugs sucked.
- [31:19]
Matt
Yeah, litter. But litter school sucks. You don't realize that your parents marriage sucks until you're much older vegetable.
- [31:30]
Nikki Glaser
You're so right. It's, it's happening right in front of your eyes and you don't know it. Yeah, I went over to my parents house last night actually because I got into town and I can't be alone. And so Sean relates and I, and so I instantly, I just dropped my bag. So at 7:00. And then, and I, I traveled all day yesterday from 7, 6:30 in the morning until 7pm at night. And delays. Just sitting on, sitting on a plane next to a monk in full monk garb in first class. Which I'm like, how's this monk affording first class? Yeah, but maybe he's just got the miles. Maybe he's a traveling monk. But also the monk was playing sudoku or like playing some kind of like game. And he also, when I like got it, he was sitting on the aisle and I was sitting in the window and when I like was boarding the plane, he was on the island. I was like, hey, I'm, I'm right here, you know. And he like got up like fast and he slammed his head like on the top. And it was just so funny to see like a man in religious garb be clumsy, you know. Like I was just like, he's like.
- [32:37]
Sean O'Connor
Oh, like just undercutting his entire religion.
- [32:41]
Nikki Glaser
Oh, it was crazy. And then we sat next to each other and then I, I texted Chris because Chris went to a school that monks taught at. And so I was like, would you recognize this monk if I sent a picture? And he said no. I said, he's an all brownie. He's like. Our monks wore black. So anyway, then the plane sat on the tarmac for two and a half hours and the monk was getting agitated. It was so nice to see a man who's like, has a relationship with God and like knows where he's going in the next life. And like, like to see him get anxious and like kind of shifty in his seat. Like you think those kinds of people have it all figured out and don't even need their phones to Entertain them. Right. Like you would just think they could just sit there peacefully and, and accept what is handed to them. Yeah.
- [33:20]
Sean O'Connor
Can't believe a monk has like a subscription to New York Times games and.
- [33:24]
Nikki Glaser
Has to go to like a T mobile store. And like, and what?
- [33:29]
Sean O'Connor
It's running slower and the battery's not wearing uniform.
- [33:32]
Matt
Was this though like leaving Portland?
- [33:35]
Nikki Glaser
No, this was in Denver to St. Louis.
- [33:37]
Matt
Oh, okay. Because I was like, people in Portland just dress like monks.
- [33:43]
Nikki Glaser
That's true. We had a good weekend on the road in the pnw. I almost said pnc, that's a bank. We were in Tacoma for two nights, then we were in Toppenish for a couple hours and then we were in Portland for two nights. So we flew. We did Tacoma for two nights at a casino, the Emerald Queen. Queen. Thank you. Those are really fun shows. And then we took a private plane, which I'm not even gonna get into, but we, I mean, I'm not gonna get into why we did that. I think we did it because someone said that'd be cool. And I just go, great. And then it was $15,000 for no reason because we literally. It took longer to fly there than driving would have taken. So I, I don't know what happened, but I think when someone suggested it on a call, I assumed it was like a seven hour drive, thus, oh, that would make sense to fly. But it was a three hour drive and it was a half hour drive to the airport alone. And then we had to sit on the tarmac. And then the flight where we all lost, I think years of our lives worrying about a crash. I mean, I was so stressed out the whole weekend about this private jet flights. And I'm not someone who gets flight anxiety that I, I would have driven 17 hours to avoid what the stre that it gave me.
- [35:05]
Matt
It gave me so much stress that it single handedly solved my fear of commercial flights. I didn't even use, I didn't even use medication. Going home yesterday, I just like for the first time in ten years I felt.
- [35:19]
Nikki Glaser
It felt like a car.
- [35:21]
Sean O'Connor
Now it felt like a private jet.
- [35:23]
Matt
And then I was, I was like, I feel so safe. And we land and I look at my phone and there's a plane upside down in Toronto.
- [35:30]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah. Yep, that. But they all survived. And that seems like very exciting and terrifying. I mean they're all like gonna be fucked. But you know, traumatic wise.
- [35:40]
Sean O'Connor
But what you did, Sean, is, is known as exposure therapy. You exposed yourself to something and then you expose yourself to such a heightened degree that the lesser stuff feels like it's nothing now.
- [35:50]
Matt
God, it felt. I felt electric yesterday getting on that plane. I'm like, I now am not afraid of.
- [35:56]
Nikki Glaser
It's not scary at all. Commercial jets don't crash. Private jets do. And the one we were in certainly would have we. And again, here's Nikki Glaser complaining about her fucking very fortunate privileged life. She's complaining about private jet.
- [36:12]
Sean O'Connor
Private jets and a sizzle reel.
- [36:13]
Nikki Glaser
It's not the private jet that you're picturing that people are popping champagne on and like get. Having masseuses and there's like fruit trays and like the private jet I took to the New Orleans and fruit snacks was amazing. No, there was, there was a couple bags of Skinny Pop, but it was like, it was not, it's not an. It's a night. I mean, it's a single engine prop plane.
- [36:35]
Matt
Yeah, yeah, it was single engine prop plane. It was obviously from the 80s because like in the seat rest there was like a TV Guide, like the, and the pilots, like, I'm not kidding when I say this, just would not be hired by like, they were.
- [36:53]
Nikki Glaser
They would struggle getting work at Starbucks.
- [36:56]
Matt
Yeah, these were like guys.
- [36:58]
Sean O'Connor
But white.
- [36:59]
Nikki Glaser
But white. They did not dress like pilots. They dressed like, they dressed like they were going to take you out fishing. They would not assuage our fears about. Because we were like, hey, we have some nervous travelers aboard, AKA Sean. Like, like Sean was really nervous and really anxious. And when Sean gets anxious, he asks like, Sean is like one of the smartest people I've ever met. Like, doesn't forget things. Remembers literally everything. He, I, I've been trying to get him on Jeopardy. Because he just has a great mind for like trivia and remembering things. Sean, when he's nervous, cannot remember how long a flight is. He will literally ask how long a flight is going to be. Like, I would say like 15 times in a 30 minute span. Like, like, he will ask me, he will ask Emily. He will ask the Emily to ask the pilot, how long is it gonna be? And we're like, we just told you five minutes ago it was gonna be 30 minutes. It's. It's crazy. But he like, can't retain it because I think it gives him a sense of control. His brain chooses to forget so that his brain is able to get some kind of information that can like assuage this like fear coursing through his veins, I think.
- [38:05]
Matt
So. That sounds right.
- [38:08]
Nikki Glaser
We told them we go, hey, can we. Sean was. Sean even asked Sean's Brave enough to say, hey, can you ask them if is it going to be a smooth flight? And they go, it should be, yeah.
- [38:21]
Matt
They were too casual.
- [38:23]
Sean O'Connor
But just lie.
- [38:26]
Nikki Glaser
Even if you don't think it's going to be, just lie. What is it? You can always just say, well, we didn't expect that, but why not just like, make your passengers feel or just have empathy?
- [38:36]
Sean O'Connor
Because then maybe he freaked out if you say, yeah, it's gonna be completely smooth, like gliding on a smooth plane.
- [38:43]
Nikki Glaser
No, you just communicate to us. Listen, like, this is what pilots need to do. Do I need to say it again and again? Just communicate to people on the plane. There's always going to be, especially on a passenger jet with hundreds of people, there's going to be at least 20 people on there who are scared to death the entire time. All they want is to know that you are okay with what's going on up there. So any kind of shift, shift in altitude, any kind of like twist or turn or bump, just get over the thing and say, ever. Just want to let you know this is completely normal. Like anything that seems out of the ordinary, just communicate to people.
- [39:17]
Noah Avior
Especially since it's telling us the wind.
- [39:19]
Nikki Glaser
Speed of where we're landing. Stop giving us or telling us about the new credit card. Like, why are you wasting our ear? You have no problem getting over the intercom with that or telling us little jokes that you, you know, learned from a joke book when you were taking a one day and you retain for the rest of your life to give yourself a personality. Why don't you tell us actual things that will help people feel better? Because they're not. They haven't flown 6,000 flights like you have. They have. They have nerves. Like, again, you're right, Noah. It's empathy. Like, think of other people and these guys, we literally told them people are nervous on the flight and they wouldn't give us it. And. And they just like, I didn't like their cavalier attitude about the whole thing. And, and kind of just like, they're like, well, we could make it a little bumpy. And it's like, don't you even fucking dare joke about that.
- [40:07]
Matt
You were literally flying over Mount Rainier. Like, we saw it. Like, we were at the same level of as that mountain. Like, there was a. Like something going through my head where I'm like, if we crash, who am I going to eat first? It was going to be Tommy.
- [40:26]
Nikki Glaser
The guy. Like, if the guys are. The guys are gonna probably hear this podcast and be like, oh, she's Such a. You got. You guys know what you were doing. I liked that. I almost liked their cavalier attitude because it made me realize, like, they just look at this, like, driving down the road 711 to pick up some cigarettes. Like, they. They. They do not think that's what I was trying to tell Sean, but they were a little about it. And if you don't know what k is guys listening. Like, just. We know you are used to this, but we aren't. Right? So. And also, I'm paying so much fucking money, and maybe you're not seeing enough of that money, and that's a problem with, like, the way the company works for you to give me the experience that is a little bit less than, like, where are you walking the doors on the other side? Like, making fun of us for not knowing where the door is? Or, like, I don't know. I don't know. It was just, like. It was just not a luxury experience. But maybe I didn't pay for one. Maybe I thought the price that I paid was a luxury experience, but maybe it wasn't.
- [41:26]
Sean O'Connor
No, I think that is.
- [41:27]
Nikki Glaser
Do I fear complaining? Yes, because will I do. I fear they're just gonna, like, someone will crash next time because they're like, she's a. And entitled. I'm usually so grateful. And I am grateful. Like, they. It was a safe ride. They did land smoothly. They did. I would have liked to know when we were changing altitude, because all of a sudden it just drops and you're like, oh, the engines are failing. Like, it is a. Like, ready to descend. Like, a little warning of that would have been fine. Not leaving us on the tarmac, freezing cold for 20 minutes would have been cool.
- [41:58]
Matt
In complete darkness.
- [42:00]
Nikki Glaser
In complete darkness. Okay, so we get to this.
- [42:03]
Sean O'Connor
Sounds not normal.
- [42:05]
Nikki Glaser
So it's the same. We have the same pilots to fly there. So we fly into Yakima on which.
- [42:11]
Matt
If you've never been. If you've never been, you're exactly like everyone else in the state of Washington.
- [42:17]
Nikki Glaser
No one. No one in Tacoma, which was two, three hours away, had ever even heard of Yakima. So we fly into.
- [42:23]
Sean O'Connor
Yakima is a huge apple city. They've got great. They. The. A lot of apples come from Yakima.
- [42:29]
Nikki Glaser
Okay. A lot of hops do, too. It's a big, hoppy town. And so we. We fly to Yakima, and it takes as long as driving would have, and it's way more stressful and all that stuff, but that's fine. And then we land. We. Then we have the we're gonna have the same pilots. Hours later, we go do the show and then we come back. We drive 40 minutes to the show. We do the show, we come back, it is dark. When we come back, I also.
- [42:56]
Matt
The show is incredible.
- [42:58]
Nikki Glaser
Like, so good.
- [42:59]
Matt
Topping Ish.
- [43:00]
Nikki Glaser
Topping ish is outside of Yakima. Amazing people. Amazing show. So much fun.
- [43:06]
Noah Avior
This was casino.
- [43:08]
Nikki Glaser
Yes. I don't remember the name of the casino. Sean.
- [43:11]
Matt
It's like, if I say if.
- [43:14]
Nikki Glaser
If I try to spirit. Spirit falls, something like that.
- [43:19]
Matt
It's like flying eagle or like spirit fall. Like, I don't. It's sound racist when I take a guess.
- [43:24]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, but. But the people that really cared, the lighting guy, like, went the extra mile. Like, it was. It was. It was a great show. And the. The. The audience was like, really down. It was so fun. So then we go back to. So on our way back, both Erica and my tour manager and Emily are texting with the company, the flight company being like, we. Our ETA is this. So we get. We get back, they're expecting us. Our luggage is still on the. We get back, we get out of the car, the car pulls onto the tarmac. We get out of the car and they're loading our bags onto the plane. But the. The door for the plane is not open. We're all just kind of like standing there. It's cold, it's icy. It's like, there's no lights even on the tarmac. Like, it's kind of like barren. And the. The terminal is shut down. It's like a small terminal, and they're not open because it's late at night. So we're just kind of waiting there. And then I eventually was like, can we go inside, you know? Or like, what's going on? On. What they should have said was, will you guys stay in the car because we're not ready for you. But what they did do was open up the hatch and let us into the plane. Where we got in the plane and sat there for 20 to 30 minutes. I would say maybe even longer. They. They put the luggage, they stowed it, and then they left us on the tarmac in the cold in a pitch dark airplane with not even the ignition turned on. Nothing turned on.
- [44:48]
Noah Avior
No safety lights.
- [44:50]
Matt
No safety lights. And it's 14 degrees. It's 14 degrees at 10:30pm like, literally nothing.
- [44:57]
Nikki Glaser
Like, we. And we're like, where did they go? What's going on? We have no commute and everything. And that, like, back hatches was still open. I think, like, maybe they're still loading things, but you can tell that they were just like these people. We're not ready for them. Let them on the plane and just make them sit there when they could have just said, stay in the suv. You guys got out too soon. We assumed the plane would be ready for us because why wouldn't it be? Yeah, like you've been at the airport the whole time. You knew we were coming. We gave you a 40 minute heads up.
- [45:26]
Noah Avior
You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of, like when you get a limo for prom and it's supposed to come pick you up, but, like, it just like, leaves you in the cold. The guy, like, forgets about you because he's at the gas station.
- [45:37]
Nikki Glaser
Yes. It felt we were out of control. I was just a lot of.
- [45:42]
Sean O'Connor
Just because something's expensive doesn't mean it's going to be good. I think private plan companies are just like any other company, where there's good ones and there's bad ones.
- [45:49]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah. Yeah.
- [45:50]
Sean O'Connor
And you got a bad one. This does not sound normal to me.
- [45:53]
Noah Avior
It sucks.
- [45:54]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah. It sounds like I'm. I'm complaining about something that was really nice, but it was like, it was really hilarious. And I. And I'm. I'm the only recognizable one of all of us, so I can't be the one complaining because then no one can complain because then everyone goes, she's a bitch. And then it gets around the pilot community, which this is already going to, I'm sure, private. This is gonna make its way through and be like, she. She doesn't know the rules. They weren't supposed to board the plane.
- [46:19]
Sean O'Connor
What's gonna happen?
- [46:20]
Nikki Glaser
The truth is they shouldn't let us on the plane.
- [46:21]
Sean O'Connor
You are going to get a message from somebody who owns a private plane company saying, come to us. I'll treat you right. That's what's gonna happen.
- [46:30]
Nikki Glaser
I love that. But I don't think we're ever gonna fly private again. If I can help.
- [46:33]
Sean O'Connor
Not worth.
- [46:33]
Nikki Glaser
So fucking stressful for our. Our nervous systems. Like, I'm. I think I'm still recovering from it, just thinking I'm gonna die. And I. I even wrote a card to my mom saying I loved her and that we're probably gonna die on this jet because they had. They had a station for Valentine's Day cards in the airport, the little terminal.
- [46:50]
Matt
I'm so glad you didn't tell me that's what you wrote.
- [46:52]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, I wrote. But then I didn't send it. I just kept it in my bag because I was like, oh, if we find it in my. I'll put in my leather purse, which will probably won't burn up in the crash. And I tucked it away in there. I felt I was so anxious, but I couldn't show my anxiety because I felt like you were more anxious. And there's nothing worse than, like, the person who's usually not anxious. Me being anxious, that would have thrown.
- [47:13]
Sean O'Connor
You off, like, seeing dad cry.
- [47:16]
Nikki Glaser
Yes, dad can't cry. So instead, I was just making jokes and pushing down my fear. And then I, like, I think that's maybe why I'm, like, depressed this week. I'm, like, recovering from that, like, anxiety or that. That I pushed down. And then also, what was I gonna say? Oh, then. So we're on the plane, and Emily's, like, not worried at all. She is not freaking at all. And. And Sean's kind of, like, interviewing her about it. He's like, so you're not scared at all right now? Like, nothing? She's like, no, not really. You know what you need? You need a chill pill. We're like, what? She's like, you need. You should try chill pill. And we're like, what are you. Yeah, the cool, cool phrase. Like, remind me of my mom's friend back in the 90s who would say, take a chill pill to her D. But it's a real thing that Emily has. She was like, you know, the thing that shocks your hand? And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. She's like, nikki, oh, my God, I've showed you. And I was like, I would remember that. Don't make me feel like I am a senile person. Like, I, I, I. I forget a lot of things. I forget people's names. I forget. I do not forget a little device that you hold on to and it shocks your hand so that you don't have anxiety. So it's called a chill pill. She learned about it from Rosie O'Donnell on TikTok. She assumed she had showed me. She had never showed me this thing. She bought one. It is a little. It's shaped like a grenade. You hold it, and it shocks your hand, and it buzzes and shocks your hand, and it goes for 20 minutes, and you hold it. And when you're having anxiety, it distracts you. You're not able to think because it's such a. It's an amount of pain that's just enough pain to be distracting, but not enough to actually, like, hurt. And it actually calms your mind. And I am addicted to it. She gave me hers. We bought them all. I bought one for everyone on, because I'm like, I just think everyone needs this. Because we were all like, we can I hold it? I want to try it. And then we were like, can I try it again? Like, we were all getting such soothing feelings from this thing. Didn't it work, Sean?
- [49:14]
Matt
Oh, it's incredible. Like, I straight up went on stage with a panic attack on Sunday and just, like, pushed through it. And then after, I just used the chill pill, and I felt incredible. Like, yes, I feel like I'm never going to have a back attack again.
- [49:29]
Nikki Glaser
Well, Emily said she used to have really bad anxiety, and she doesn't anymore because of the chill pill. She was like, you can just have mine. I don't even need it anymore. Anymore. I used to need it all the time. I used to hold it to go to bed with. I've been falling asleep with it. I woke up this morning because I was depressed. I was like, I just want to hold this for a little bit. I really think it will, like, help with my depression and anxiety. Like, I wanted to bring it on stage one night because I was just feeling a little bit down. But I don't think it's good for, like, performing. I was holding it all weekend long. I just started over. Every 20 minutes, I started over. Like, I can't stop. It was the same thing I was doing with Ari. Ari had bought me these. Those little pads that shock your muscles.
- [50:09]
Noah Avior
Oh, the TENS machine.
- [50:10]
Nikki Glaser
Yes. That. That's why I was addicted to tens. Because it was, like, causing enough pain that was distracting from my mental anguish.
- [50:18]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah. Yeah.
- [50:19]
Nikki Glaser
And it's like cutting, but it doesn't. It doesn't leave a scar. So if this is interesting to anyone, try. Look up the chill pill on Amazon. They're 60 bucks. There's John's. And you hold it in your hand, and it looks like a little key foil bob.
- [50:33]
Sean O'Connor
And it's battery powered.
- [50:35]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah. I mean, you just plug it in. Yeah. You just charge it with a charger? Yeah. And it's. I'm. I'm. I can't wait to. For people to get these because I. I cannot believe it took me so long to find this kind of thing. So I really wanted to talk about that today, and I'm. I'm glad we did. Okay, we have to go to break. We'll be back after this.
- [50:55]
Ryan Seacrest
Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford, and I'm the founder of meaningful beauty. When Dr. Sabah and I decided to do a skincare line together. He said to me, we are going to give women meaningful beauty. And I said, that's exactly right. We want to give women meaningful beauty, which means each and every product is meaningful. It has a reason to exist. It's efficacious. You're going to get results and then you just go out and live your life. Meaningful beauty confidence is beautiful. Learn more@meaningfulbeauty.com.
- [51:28]
Unknown
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. February is the month of love. And while you're spending time showing love to your family and friends, make sure you show yourself some love, too. Now through February 25, shop in store and online and save on self love Items from Dove Like Dove Cucumber and Green Tea Body Wash, Dove Deep Moisture Nourishing body wash, dove antiperspirants, dove shampoos and dove conditioners. Offer ends Feb. 21. FIT offers may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
- [51:59]
Joel
Hi, this is Joel and Matt from the how to Money podcast.
- [52:03]
Brian Frangie
Yeah, Matt, this month my kids, they've got a longer break from school coming up and I want to take them on a trip somewhere while they've got the time off. Do you have any recommendations?
- [52:11]
Joel
Ooh. Well, I love checking out national parks personally, and Joel, I know that you and the family love hiking together, spending some quality time outdoors as well. You could always check out Yosemite. That's like one of my absolute favorite places on earth. Starting down village, hiking up out of the valley. Can't beat it.
- [52:28]
Brian Frangie
Sounds pretty lovely. That's a good idea. And I'm going to suggest this to my family. I'll let you know what they say. All right, we may not know where we're going yet, but I do know one thing. We'll definitely be checking out the local Airbnbs wherever we end up. It gives us flexibility and incredible options for a place to stay while we're away from home.
- [52:45]
Joel
Plus, while you're away, you could host guests in your home on Airbnb. It's easy and a great way to earn additional income.
- [52:52]
Brian Frangie
And now hosting is easier than ever with Airbnb's Co Host Flex feature. Airbnb gives you access to a network of high quality local co hosts who can help take care of your home and your guests when you're not there. Find a co host@airbnb.com host this message comes from Greenlight.
- [53:08]
Nikki Glaser
Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and Teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place. With greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly. Set up chores automate allowance and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on greenlight. Get started risk free@greenlight.com iheart so then we go to Portland after Yakima and Portland is amazing. We had amazing brunches twice in a row at the Jam. Emily got us in there. It was totally booked up. But she called and she worked her ways and she alluded to like, oh, it sucks that you guys are busy today. We're only in town for two days. And that led to the woman going, what are you in town for? Oh, I work for Nikki Glaze. Like. And then the woman's like, well, we can make some room. So the jam got us and jammed us in nice both days. Saturday and Sunday in Portland. So good on Hawthorne. It was delicious. We had such a good brunch two days in a row. And then on Saturday night after. The shows were incredible. Crowds were great. The. The. The theater was amazing. Huge. So many people, so fun. Yeah. Crowds up there just like, get it. I just.
- [54:38]
Matt
They go along with everything. It's like there's not even up there.
- [54:42]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah.
- [54:42]
Matt
They're not repressed at all. They're just kind of like, let it. Like, let an artist work.
- [54:47]
Nikki Glaser
Work.
- [54:47]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah. You can extend it all the way down to NorCal and San Francisco. I think San Francisco up. I think it's all the same.
- [54:56]
Nikki Glaser
It's just like San Francisco gets a little woke. Well, where they'll be like, are you making fun? Are you marginalized?
- [55:01]
Sean O'Connor
I guess it could get a little.
- [55:02]
Nikki Glaser
Woke, which I'm all for. I'm. I'm woke as. But I, you know, they can get a little sensitive on behalf of people, I feel. Whereas. And it will go. It does go all the way up for Vancouver over. As far as I know.
- [55:15]
Matt
Yeah. The whole.
- [55:16]
Sean O'Connor
Go to Alaska.
- [55:17]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah.
- [55:18]
Sean O'Connor
Antarctica.
- [55:22]
Matt
This is the wokest comedy tour in America right now.
- [55:26]
Nikki Glaser
It. And so we. But Portland was. Portland is cool. Like, it's a great, cool city. We went and did karaoke on Saturday night at this place called the Hallway.
- [55:39]
Matt
And which is shining themed for no. Like, for real reason.
- [55:44]
Nikki Glaser
Yes.
- [55:44]
Matt
And it's very funny because it's like.
- [55:46]
Nikki Glaser
The Stanley Kubrick movie.
- [55:48]
Matt
Yeah.
- [55:49]
Sean O'Connor
Which took place in Colorado.
- [55:51]
Nikki Glaser
Right.
- [55:52]
Matt
It took place in Colorado, but it was filmed two hours away from Portland, as the owner of the bar told me. And they. Everything is just like pictures of the shining. And then for some reason, there's just a frame named Knife. It's not the knife from the movie.
- [56:09]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, that I think. I think everything in Portland is themed, though. I think every strip club, every restaurant, like, has to, like, it's. They're a second grade classroom around Halloween or something, you know, like, it's. Everything has to have a theme. And that was theirs.
- [56:26]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah.
- [56:27]
Nikki Glaser
And there was a dog that was playing fetch the entire time. Oh, that's cool. It was cool, though. It wasn't. There weren't that many people there. And you just like, put in your song and it would come up pretty quickly. And then we got to sing and we. We had a really great time singing and just hanging out after the show and. But there was this one thing that, like, there kept being performers that would get up and their name would be like, Joe and they would say, AKA and then it would say some, like, phrase. And I. And at first I was like, like, that's like a weird nickname to have that. One of them was like, clean my Tank. And someone was like, why is that person's nickname Clean my Tank? I think Tommy said it or. Or Emily. And I was like, I don't mean to, like, make this about me, but I have a joke where that's the punchline and I feel like someone's trying to, like, get my attention with this. Like, it wasn't like, Nikki Glaser's here. Like, it didn't feel like anyone really even knew or it was I. And I don't think that way ever when I go places. But I felt really dumb saying that as soon as I said it because I'm like, oh, my God, Ew. Everyone thinks that you think this is about you and it's not. And then the next one was, you know, Dion, AKA Zac Efron. And I was like, I think I have a joke about Zac Efron too, from an old special. And then the next one was Dudley, AKA Extra long twin Bed. And I'm like, no one's nickname is Extra long twin bed. Doesn't even make sense. And I definitely have a joke about that. That. And then I was confirmed because then the owner finally sheepishly came over and was like, have you noticed anything? And I was like, yes, I have noticed something. My friends thought I was a narcissist. I swear that. So these poor people that kept getting up to sing and then they had some disgusting phrase like cum slut as they're like, nickname. It's Crazy. I. One was. One was, you need to floss. And it was like a joke about. About, like, me saying that someone needed to floss, but a guy's name was Joe, AKA needs to floss. And I'm like, if I was Joe, I'd be deeply offended, because Joe was not in charge of the nickname. It was the guy running the karaoke machine.
- [58:37]
Sean O'Connor
And you wonder why people, like, become narcissists when they are super celebrities. It's like, you were just confirmed. You're like, oh, no, I'm not. I don't want to be a narcissist. I don't want to think this is all about me. And then if it is about you, how many times does that have to happen before you just start to assume that everything is about.
- [58:53]
Nikki Glaser
About you? Oh, yeah. I was. I was so embarrassed after I said it the first time because I was like, clean my tank. Like, I bet that's just, like, a thing maybe people say. But I was like, I don't know. I just felt like it was. And I felt so. Because Tommy. I just. You know, Tommy just started working with us, and I. I don't want Tommy to think I'm, like, someone that's like, I think this is me. And so it was. I was already planning on, like, apologizing to him later the next day, being like, I'm sorry I made that about me. I don't know why I thought it was. Was. And then I was so happy when it ended up being about me, even though it was kind of annoying. But the people there were really nice, and the guy that runs the place is really fun, so that was a good place. And then final thought, and then on. On Sunday night, we were like, we're gonna go get a. A karaoke room, like, a private one, because that place wasn't open again. And. And then we realized Lisa Traeger was in town. My currently favorite comedian, Lisa Trager, right off her special Netflix special Night Owl, which I'm obsessed with, she was in town working at Helium, the comedy club. And so we texted her Sunday morning, being like, oh, my God, we're here too. And then she was like, oh, my God, we're doing. After the show tonight, we're doing strip club karaoke. And I was like, okay, I guess we're canceling our room. Everyone in this town's doing karaoke. So we went to a strip club called the Devil's Point.
- [60:13]
Matt
Devil's Point.
- [60:14]
Sean O'Connor
Nice.
- [60:16]
Matt
Trademarked trademark. They're the only club allowed to have stripper karaoke.
- [60:22]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, stripperoke, as it's called. You get on stage and you sing, and then a stripper strips on stage while you're singing. But there is like, there's, you know, the classic bar that they swing around on, then there's like pull up bars that they're doing all kinds of gymnastics on. These women are so talented, so acrobatic, so hot. We. It was. It was a spectacle. I did not sing because the list was, like, really long. And I just. I didn't want to be the center of attention. And I honestly, I don't like strip. I don't like being touched by strippers, male or female.
- [60:58]
Matt
So I just seemed like a nightmare to sing. Like, yeah, truly upon walking in, I was like, there's no chance I would ever do karaoke this way. You are.
- [61:08]
Nikki Glaser
Because they're like, rubbing on you the whole time.
- [61:10]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah.
- [61:11]
Matt
And you're beholden. Like, in front of, like, it was packed and you have to stand at this circle and they do their moves and then they like, like kind of play with you. Yeah, play with you.
- [61:22]
Nikki Glaser
And then Sean famously said when we said, we're doing strip club karaoke, he goes, oh, good. I can be awkward in two different ways because it was like. And so we just watched, but luckily it was. It made karaoke watchable because these women are gorgeous and so talented and fully, fully nude. I saw. I saw a. I saw literal women's. And this was also Emily's first time.
- [61:51]
Noah Avior
In a strip club.
- [61:52]
Nikki Glaser
Is this what I hear? Yes, it was. I think it was maybe Tommy's first time too. Maybe, maybe not. Yeah. And so it was like, it's. It. But it's the best strip club experience because everyone there is happy doing what they're doing. They are really, like, exceptional at it. It's not something that they're doing because something else didn't work out or because they' there. It's. There wasn't a sadness to it. There was like a joy in the air, among other things.
- [62:18]
Matt
It was. It was hard. It was heartwarming. It felt like, like, it felt like we were in, like, a workplace comedy. And these. These, like, co workers love each other.
- [62:26]
Nikki Glaser
Yep.
- [62:27]
Matt
And, like, they love the dj, who also was like a. Like a gross dude who stripped.
- [62:33]
Nikki Glaser
I mean, it was there. I really. It was the one time in my life that I've really felt like I was in a movie. I was like, this. We could shoot. This is what they made Coyote Ugly look like. You know what I mean? Like, the most fun bar in town where Everyone is having the best time of their lives. Everyone is gorgeous, everyone is talented and. And everyone's having a genuinely happy time. No one's too wasted. Nothing smells like, everything looks clean. Everyone's in a good mood. Like, it felt like how this kind of place would be portrayed in a movie in a sensationalized way that you go, there's no way it's going to be like that. That's truly what this place was. It was awesome. I cannot wait to go back. I do sing there at some point because it looked really fun. But it was just everyone that came out to me and there were a lot of people there that knew me and, and, and were so nice and came up to me. One guy said he had quit drinking, but he was. Because of. He heard me on Joe Rogan. He was clearly drunk, so that was confusing. But then he. He clarified that he had quit drinking for a year. And then.
- [63:37]
Sean O'Connor
No, not now.
- [63:38]
Nikki Glaser
That was cool. No, yeah, of course not.
- [63:39]
Matt
Now my wife is more on Joe Ro and start drinking again.
- [63:45]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, exactly. But it was really fun and it felt like. It felt good to go out and do things after the show. I mean, sometimes we have two shows and it's just like impossible to go out because none of us drink, you know, like, none of us are like drugging or drinking. And so it's like we're not the type to like really go out on the town. But this, I felt like really, I felt proud of myself for like doing something.
- [64:09]
Sean O'Connor
Yeah. Experiencing the road, like that's part of the. That's part of how people say they stay sane on the road. It's like, gotta go experience the city.
- [64:17]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah.
- [64:18]
Sean O'Connor
I've heard like Mark Norman say that or something.
- [64:20]
Nikki Glaser
Yeah, yeah. That's who I think of too. Like, I feel like he goes out and does things. Yeah. But it was really, it was really a fun weekend. I look forward to this weekend in Fort Lauderdale on Thursday. And then we're doing Boston. I'm doing six shows at the Wang Theater Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And we are doing things during the day too. We have, we have been invited to many different things in town because people know we're coming. And so that's very exciting. Exciting. And I think my depression has lifted, to be honest with you. I'm feeling a little bit more clear headed. Thank you for this therapy session.
- [64:53]
Sean O'Connor
There you go.
- [64:56]
Noah Avior
Are you buzzing yourself right now? Are you holding on to that?
- [64:59]
Nikki Glaser
No, you got yours. Oh my God. I need to go get mine. I'm gonna. I gotta charge it again. It's so good. Yeah. So check out the chill pill. If that, if that any of that resonates with you. Yeah. Amazon. 60 bucks. Totally worth it, you guys. I know that's maybe a price point that's like a little much, but it's like if you have anxiety or you have moments where you're like, your mind is racing with thoughts and you need to, like, you just have nothing else to do and you, you want to meditate, but you're not there yet. Like, this is just something. It's almost like meditation that it makes you focus on something that isn't your thoughts. Meditation makes you focus on breath. This makes you focus on a weird numbing, like, almost like your hand fell asleep kind of pain in your hand is. Don't you think that's the same pain, Shawn? It's like when you, like, your hand starts tingling because it fell asleep.
- [65:43]
Matt
Yeah, it's definitely pins and needles and I kind of always love that feeling.
- [65:48]
Nikki Glaser
All right, so check it out. Thank you for listening. We'll see you again tomorrow. Don't Be Cured by the Nikki Glaser Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart Podcast, created and hosted by me, Nikki Glaser, co hosted by Brian Frangie, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Soni and Noah Avior, edited and by Lean and Loaf Video Production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki glaser podcast on YouTube, follow @nikki glazer pod and subscribe to our channel.
- [66:21]
Unknown
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. February is the month of love. And while you're spending time showing love to your family and friends, make sure you show yourself some love, too. Now through February 25, shop in store and online and save on self love items from Dove like Dove Cucumber and Green Tea Body Wash, Dove Deep Moisture Nourishing Body Wash, Dove antiperspirants, Dove Shampoos and Dove conditioners. Offer ends February 25th. Offers may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
- [66:52]
Nikki Glaser
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- [67:36]
Unknown
That take credit cards nationwide and every time you make a purchase with your.
- [67:39]
Nikki Glaser
Card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn more@discover.com credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report at David's Bridal Love is in every stitch, from the initial sketch to the final details. Each style is designed with exquisite craftsman craftsmanship. Every wedding gown, bridesmaid look, prom dress and special occasion style in between features handcrafted details filled with love. Come see the magic in person. Book an appointment and sign up for diamond loyalty to save 15% on your first purchase. Earn points towards special rewards and more@davidsbridal.com.