Creating Your Life on Purpose with Elysia Skye

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Nourished Nervous System

Episode: Creating Your Life on Purpose with Elysia Skye
Host: Kristen Timchak
Guest: Elysia Skye
Date: April 10, 2025

---

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode explores how to intentionally create a meaningful, resilient life by harnessing intuition, somatic practices, and mindful self-inquiry. Kristen Timchak interviews Elysia Skye, an intuitive life and business coach, motivational speaker, and creator of "The Brilliance Method." Together, they discuss overcoming self-doubt, tuning into intuition, navigating self-worth in spiritual work, and actionable daily practices for nervous system health. The episode offers practical perspectives for anyone—whether a business owner, healer, or a parent—seeking clarity, courage, and self-trust.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Elysia’s Journey & The Power of Intuition

[02:18–07:10]

• Elysia shares her path from acting and video production in Hollywood to mindfulness facilitation and intuitive business coaching.
  • All her career phases taught her to be present, which naturally connected to mindfulness practices.
• Intuition played a life-saving role for Elysia:
  • At 24, she sensed (in the shower, during a stressful moment) that she had breast cancer despite reassurances it was likely a cyst.
  • Ignoring both her boyfriend and her trusted doctor’s initial advice to wait, she insisted on getting a mammogram and biopsy.
  • The outcome: a stage three breast cancer diagnosis that required immediate treatment. Her insistence “saved my life.”
  • Quote:

    “If you feel something so deeply where you just feel it in your spirit and your being and your bones, please listen. Just check. Just find out. It could save your life.” – Elysia [06:40]

2. Deciphering Intuition vs. Fear

[07:10–11:25]

• Common struggle: “Is this my intuition, or just fear?”
  • Elysia offers a somatic approach:
    • Where do you feel the answer? If it’s heart/gut: likely intuition; if head/shoulders/jaw: likely fear/story.
  • Practical exercise: “Truth or a Lie”
    • Test a true vs. false statement in your body (e.g., what time is it?). Body might tense around a lie, relax around truth.
  • Intuitive knowing often feels like a calm, “tender knowing”—even if the truth is hard.
  • Quote:

    “There is a settling, there’s a calm, there’s a peace. There’s just a knowing, right? … Even if it’s something you don’t want to hear.” – Elysia [09:54]

3. Challenges for Spiritual Business Owners

[11:25–18:30]

• The main obstacle: themselves.
  • Tendency toward self-judgment and undercharging, fear of being judged for promoting their work.
  • Paradox: Many helpers/healers hesitate to take up space and “shine.”
  • Societal/ancestral beliefs about charging for healing work still influence many, resulting in guilt or confusion around self-worth.
  • Elysia’s practical advice on pricing: Incrementally increase to just outside your comfort zone—your intuition will signal what feels aligned.
  • Quote:

    “You are not a nun living in a convent for free… Money is how we exchange.” – Elysia [14:21]
    “At the end of the day, you have to rest your head on your own pillow and go, what do I think of me?” – Elysia [16:56]

4. Instantly Accessing Presence & Calming the Nervous System

[18:41–23:45]

• When stressed or anxious, drop into your body via sensation—choose a focal point (e.g., hands, skin between toes, headphones).
• Small body-based grounding practices:
  • Rub your hands together, focus on the tingling for 20–30 seconds.
  • Feel your accessories or clothing—anything that draws you into sensation.
• Multitasking “is total bullshit”—single focus brings more calm and excellence.
• Quote:
  > “If you forget to just breathe, tune into your hands, tune into your feet… Whatever it is, I love that.” – Elysia [23:37]

5. Mantras and Questions for People Who Worry

[23:54–28:13]

• Use grounding mantras:
  • “In this moment, I am safe.”
  • Repeat it as needed to anchor your nervous system.
  • Give yourself permission to slow down and pause before reacting.
• Two key questions for any worry spiral:
  1. Is what I’m worried about really true?
  2. Is this mine? (How much of this is actually my worry vs. someone else’s energy or projection?)
• Quote:
  > “Since I’m safe, can I give myself permission to slow down for a second?” – Elysia [25:33]

6. On Being a Lighthouse, not a Lifesaver

[30:02–32:23]

• Powerful metaphor: Empaths and helpers should strive to be the “lighthouse,” not the “lifesaver” (as in lifebuoy).
  • Trying to save/fix everyone drains and entangles you in others’ chaos.
  • The lighthouse stands strong, simply shining the way, and encourages others to rise alongside.
  • Quote:

    “We want to be the lighthouse, not the lifesaver… When we are a lifesaver, we are suffocating with the person… But as the lighthouse, we stand unwavering, with a beacon of light…the job is to be the lighthouse, not the lifesaver.” – Elysia [31:09]

7. Actionable Daily Practice

[32:37–35:48]

• Each morning, Elysia writes in her journal:
  • “What does my soul need to hear today?”
  • Let the answer flow honestly, without ego, for a few minutes.
  • It’s a reliable, private way to access guidance—and over time, watching the advice repeat shows its value.
  • Quote:

    “When we remove our ego from participating…we just invite spirit in to say, what does my soul need to hear today? It might be the simplest message…it will do you a world of good.” – Elysia [34:07]

8. Compassionate, Low-Pressure Meditation

[35:58–37:11]

• Redefining meditation: It’s not about stopping thoughts, but about dropping judgment for whatever happens.
  • Even daydreaming through a timer can be restorative.
  • 3-minute sessions are plenty—tiny steps matter.
  • Give yourself “baby steps” and gentle opportunities to succeed.
  • Quote:

    “The idea in meditation is not to stop thinking. It’s to stop judging yourself for the experience you just had.” – Elysia [36:00]

9. Implement What You Learn

[37:11–37:54]

• Consuming workshops, podcasts, and courses is wonderful, but real change comes with implementation.
  • Go all in on yourself—experiment and apply even one thing you learn.
  • Quote:

    “It only goes so far without implementation. Try it, do it, go all in on yourself. It’s worth it.” – Elysia [37:36]

10. The Brilliance Method

[38:01–39:42]

• Elysia’s signature method helps people “create your life on purpose.”
  • Born from her reflections on surviving cancer, building businesses, and self-inquiry, it’s a step-by-step program emphasizing intuition, clarity, aligned action, and honest storytelling (successes and failures).
  • Podcast and course are available as resources.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “My intuition has my back, and this is something I should take seriously.” – Elysia [06:56]
• “Our body is connected to our truth. And when you practice it…you know when it’s an intuitive thought and how it feels like peace in your heart, even if it’s something you don’t want to hear.” – Elysia [09:54]
• “At the end of the day, you have to rest your head on your own pillow and go, what do I think of me?” – Elysia [16:56]
• “Multitasking is a myth. It’s total bullshit. We are not a computer.” – Elysia [19:40]
• “Be the lighthouse, not the lifesaver.” – Elysia [31:09]
• “What does my soul need to hear today?” – Elysia [32:54]
• “The idea in meditation is not to stop thinking. It’s to stop judging yourself for the experience that you just had.” – Elysia [36:00]
• “Implement. Try it. Do it. Go all in on yourself. It’s worth it.” – Elysia [37:43]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Elysia’s intuition + cancer story: [03:41–07:10]
• Intuition vs. fear—somatic cues: [07:22–11:25]
• Challenges for spiritual business owners, self-worth in pricing: [11:25–18:30]
• Grounding presence in daily life: [18:41–23:45]
• Dealing with worry—mantras/questions: [23:54–28:13]
• “Be the lighthouse” metaphor: [30:02–32:23]
• Journaling practice—“What does my soul need to hear today?” [32:37–35:48]
• Gentle, accessible meditation tips: [35:58–37:11]
• Brilliance Method overview: [38:01–39:42]

---

Action Steps (from the Guest)

• Daily Self-Inquiry: Write “What does my soul need to hear today?” and allow yourself to write honestly for a few minutes.
• Quick Grounding: Pick a body part or sensation to focus on in stressful moments.
• Anchor Safety: Repeat “In this moment, I am safe” to calm the mind and body.
• Gentle Meditation: Drop judgment—set a short timer to simply sit with yourself, even if thoughts wander.
• Incremental Pricing for Business Owners: Charge just outside your comfort zone as a form of “aligned action.”

---

Final Takeaway

“Be the lighthouse, not the lifesaver.” Use practical intuition, compassionate truth-telling, and gentle body-based tools to navigate stress, purpose, and self-trust—so you can create your life on purpose, and encourage others to do the same.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Nourished Nervous System, an exploration of stress, the nervous system and resilience for parents and other humans through the lens of Ayurveda, somatics, herbs and a whole lot more. I'm your host, Kristen Timchak, an Ayurvedic health counselor, stress and resilience coach, somatic stress release practitioner, and mother of a tiny human. Please join me for information and insights, deep thoughts and small steps to help you nourish your nervous system. Welcome and welcome back to the Nourished Nervous System. I'm, as always, so happy that you're here today. I have a fun and deep and insightful conversation today with Alicia Sky. Alicia is a motivational speaker, a mindfulness facilitator, author, podcast host and intuitive life and business coach. Through her Brilliance method programs, she empowers heart centered high achievers to trust themselves and take aligned action. And I really enjoyed this conversation. I loved hearing Alicia's stories and she brings so much insight and actionable, sustainable tools, tools that you can bring into your life to help you to connect to your intuition and and to help you live your life on purpose, whether you're a business owner or just wanting to get more clarity and more in touch with your intuition in your life in general. So although she is a business coach, I would say that what she brings in this episode is valuable for anybody in this human experience. And that's all I'm going to say right now. Let's get into the episode.

[B]

Foreign.

[A]

Welcome.

[B]

Hi Kristen, thanks for having me.

[A]

It's my pleasure. So to begin, I'd love to have you introduce yourself and talk about your path to becoming an intuitive business coach.

[B]

Thank you so much. Well, as an intuitive business coach, I truly help people with their life purpose. I help people get out of their own way and it is such a joy and such a gift. And I have found that the more creative, intuitive, kind, loving, generous, wonderful souls like yourself, who I surround myself with and get to surround myself with, we tend to upper limit our capacity for joy and greatness. We tend to really be the only ones in the way of accomplishing abundance in whatever form it is we're calling that in, be it money or love or relationships or just better communication. So I am here to help with that. And I'm a mindfulness facilitator. I work with a lot of big companies, colleges, and my background, oddly enough, is in video production. I was a producer in Hollywood for a really long time and that led me to being a director way back when. Originally I was acting Full time. So all of these creative pieces, which, if you connect the dots, are all very present, focused occupations. So that's where the mindfulness comes into play, too. It's really fun.

[A]

That makes a lot of sense. And so what's the role that intuition has played in your life when facing your own significant transitions?

[B]

Well, listening to my intuition saved my life, and therefore I take it really seriously. Would it be okay if I shared a that story briefly?

[A]

I would love that. Please do.

[B]

Okay, so when I was 24 years old, and at the time we're recording this now, I'm in my early, almost mid-40s, so almost 20 years ago, I was in a big fight with my boyfriend at the time. Very dramatic, very cliche dramatic. Actually, I said to him, I'm going to go take a shower and cool off. Because that's what you do when you're being a drama queen and you're fighting with your boyfriend in the middle of the night on a weekend. And as I'm in the shower, I was loofah ing, like, vigorously. Just kind of get the rage out, you know, I was like, I wasn't really good at being angry. I still am pretty terrible at being angry. And it's something that I've worked through. When I have anger come up, how do I process that in my body? Because I buried it for so long, especially as a child and then a teen, and, you know, just avoiding things that scared me and trauma and all that stuff. I stuffed it, Stuffed it way down. So that leads us to this part of the story. I was in the shower and my pinky had grazed my right breast. And I immediately got a medically intuitive hit that I had cancer. And I saw the cancer inside my breast. And I had a flashback, remembering to. I think it was about sixth grade when my health class teacher passed around the silicone boob with the bead inside and was like, this is what cancer feels like, right? So I felt it and I knew it. And all of a sudden, I was no longer angry. And I walked outside and I said, hey, I have breast cancer. And he said, you're being a hypochondriac. You're being a drama queen, like, fair. But I'm not. So I left a message for my doctor, eventually broke up with the guy, and it turned out I had stage three cancer in my right breast and in my lymph nodes. But the intuitive part, aside from the medical intuitive, peaked out because my doctor had said, you're only 24. It feels like a cyst. You know they didn't have imaging at that office. And she said, well, we could probably wait. Why don't we give it a month or so and let's see how it goes? And she said, the one in your armpit kind of worries me because that could be lymph node involvement, but I think it's okay to wait. And everything in my body. Kristen said, hell, no. This is serious. I have to take care of this right now. And I asked her, what do I do? And she said, well, you would get a mammogram and a biopsy, but you probably won't get approved for that. And I said, well, then I'm just going to go do one. Will you please write me a referral? So she wrote me a referral. I went to the imaging center. I paid out of pocket. I eventually did get reimbursed, but it turned out I had stage three breast cancer. Wow. My right breast and in my lymph nodes. And when I got the diagnosis and I met with the oncologist, she said, you need to go through treatment and have surgery immediately. You could be dead in a month. And then it hit me. It's like if I had waited, I truly wouldn't be here. I listened. I listened to even though someone I trust and love and respect, who had been my doctor for years and continued to be my doctor, had a difference of opinion. So I encourage everyone who's listening, if you feel something so deeply, where you just feel it in your whole spirit and your being and your bones, please listen. Just check. Just find out. It could save your life. So that was a pivotal moment where I learned now my intuition has my back, and this is something that I should take seriously.

[A]

That is so powerful. I think sometimes we have things that come up, and then we're like, oh, it's just my brain making up a story. Is there a way that you've found to decipher that in yourself?

[B]

Yeah. And this has come up a lot, actually. I was just leading one of my coaching calls, and one of my clients asked me a similar question. How do you know if it's fear or if it's intuition? So, number one, if you find yourself asking, am I just in my head, is this just fear or is this truly something real? Usually, if you have to ask, is it your head or your heart? It's your head, usually. Right. We're pretty good at thinking ourselves into doom and gloom. Like, that's just part of having an ego and having a body, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if you have a feeling and you notice yourself putting your hand on your heart or even closer to your stomach versus holding your hand against your head as you're asking these questions and kind of going through the cyclical nature of problem solving when you're doing it from here and you find yourself slowing down and breathing and listening. That's your intuition. We all have a connection to our intuition and our body. If I asked you right now, okay, what time is it right now where you live? It's 2:40pm 2:40pm great. So the sun is mostly out, right? Yeah. And so pretty obvious answer, pretty neutral feeling, no qualms against it. I was like, no, Kristen, you're wrong. It's midnight.

[A]

Right.

[B]

All of a sudden there was like a little tinge of frustration and you felt it somewhere in your body. Where did you feel it?

[A]

Felt it in my chest.

[B]

Like a tightening.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just the way you had just held your hand. Right. You did it tight versus feeling it flat, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when we tell ourselves, I call this game in my coaching program, I call it truth or a lie. And we practice using our body as a barometer, we can really build that muscle to know what's the difference between fear, a fear based thought, or the truth, a love based thought. And I call it fear versus love. Because all of our thoughts, emotions, feelings, anything connected to our self care, anything connected to the truth of our life is a loving thought because it's for the highest and best. Not just for us, but for everyone involved. So the best way to tell is this a truth or is this a lie? Is to just practice those you can even stand up. This is more of a kinesiology practice. You can stand up and say to yourself, tell yourself something untrue. As simple as no, it's midnight right now and you'll find your body leaning away, leaning back when you tell yourself something so true. Right? I love my dog. I love my sweet little dog and his cute little face. Like you just kind of lean in. You naturally lean in. And of course you can muscle test with different kinesiology tests and I'm not necessarily here to teach the science of that, but our body is connected to our truth. And when you practice it and distill it down and get really familiar with it, you know, when it's an intuitive thought and how it feels like peace in your heart, even if it's something you don't want to hear. And getting a cancer diagnosis is a great example. That's like really bad news, right? It's not like oh my intuition is such a Great feeling. No, it's. Sometimes it's really bad news, but there is a settling, there's a calm, there's a peace. There's just a knowing, right? You know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Deep. It's like a tender knowing in our whole being. That's when you know when you're spinning cyclically and like touching your head, and all of a sudden you start storing pain and bullshit in your shoulders or your jaw. Like, that's not your truth.

[A]

That makes so much sense. I love that coming from a somatic perspective. It's training yourself to listen to your body's cues. And then when you get into those places where you really want to use that intuition, then you have that almost map or framework of your body's yeses and nos and in those different type of circumstances, that makes a lot of sense. It's really cool. Yeah.

[B]

Just practice, right? Anyone listening or watching? Just practice. Just play it. Play these psychic games. Test your body and get really familiar. Build that muscle. Like, you called it a framework, right? A framework or a blueprint, whatever it is, for you, you know, you know better than anyone else about your own body.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And so with your clients that you work with, what do you think is one of the biggest challenges that you see with spiritual business owners coming up against in their businesses?

[B]

Well, they're so loving, and because of this deep love that they carry, anyone who has a spiritual business is a helper. Right. They're here to. In some way, they're here for good. And the most common thing they're up against, truly, is themselves. Because they tend to judge what other people are thinking, and therefore it turns itself around and they judge themselves. In other words, they might play small, they might not charge enough, they might not announce or promote when they have episodes coming out or when they have a new launch or a new course or a new program. Because they're thinking, oh, what is my so and so going to think if they see me emailing about this or posting about it? And they just are in their own way, thinking people are judging them. And what happens eventually when you do life purpose work and you make choices from a place of love, is you realize that as you step into your light and do what is as Gay Hendricks calls your zone of genius, truly living from a place of unique brilliance that you have that no one else has, even if they teach a similar thing or methodology or you're teaching something you learned from someone else, nobody does it like you. And when you finally show up and shine and do it, not only are you Giving other people permission to show up and shine and do it. But usually they're proud of you and they're in awe of you. And the ones who are judgy or jealous, all they're doing is calling out for love, right? And so we can choose to turn off that noise or we can choose to listen to it. And if you listen to it, then that gets to be a forgiveness practice too. Truly, Kristen, I mean, you know better than anyone, like entrepreneurship is a journey of self, right? Like shadow work and all the shit. Like it just shows up. So it's not for the faint of heart, truly.

[A]

So, yeah, yeah, I, I appreciate that. I mean, I think that in my own business, that's the thing I come up against so much as, well, it's not wanting to be annoying, not wanting to, you know, oversell or overdo things. So, yeah, I definitely relate to that. And why don't you think people charge what they're worth?

[B]

So there's a lot of answers for this. I mean, especially as a spiritual business owner, there is this inherent guilt that probably goes back to their ancestors or some old lineage, right? That says, hey, as a healer, we are supposed to give our services away for free. And I get to shake them gently, lovingly, usually on zoom. So I just kind of shake the camera for a second. I'm just kidding. And I say, you are not a nun living in a convent for free, right? Like, unless someone else is fully funding your roof over your head and the meals that you wear and the clothes that you wear, honey, you have to charge. And look at doctors, surgeons, medical professionals. When we were growing up, you want to be rich, you're a doctor or a lawyer, right? It's kind of an old paradigm way of thinking, but for some reason we think, okay, well, if I have a PhD and I'm a medical professional, I can charge anything. I could charge $20,000 to sit with someone for five days. But why could I possibly charge that for my workshop or my year long coaching program or something like that, right? So there is some past self undoing that, hey, you're no longer a nun. Maybe you were in another life or not, right? Maybe you were a healer in a tribe. But because we don't live in a society of the barter system anymore. Money is how we exchange. And maybe that's not always the case. There are certainly people who do trades and whatnot, but there's something going on almost on a. It's like a level of DNA, right? A spiritual DNA that's like, I'M not supposed to charge for this. We never charged for this. It's like, yes, we did, actually. We did actually. Even, like, seers and soothsayers and whatnot who would come to castles. They were paid well. They didn't always have a place to stay. Right. So some of that is undoing. A lot of it is noise from the outside. So just moving into being present as a human in this lifetime. I remember when I was first starting out, my husband grew up in the church, and he's like, you know, I just think it's a little weird to be charging for healing. And I was like, but I am a healer. Like, in addition to the business coaching I was doing, before I did all of this, I had a business called Alicia Sky Wellness. People would come to my home for energy healing, and I would have clients after clients after clients. My husband's like, I just feel weird about you charging for healing. And I go, but we have to pay a mortgage, and they're coming to my office that I pay for. Like, how does that even make sense? And then he was like, yeah, you're right. Right. So sometimes. And he's completely changed his tune on that. But in the beginning, I was like, oh, my gosh. I'm feeling some guilt about, at the time charging so little in comparison even to now. Not that I even. There's so many more people that charge more than me. I try to stay relatable and in the middle and be able to help everybody, but there was a time where I was like, oh, no. Even the person I love and trust more than anyone in the world is judging me.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So it goes back to almost that first question, Kristen, of what are they going to think? What are people going to think of me? But at the end of the day, you have to rest your head on your own pillow and go, what do I think of me? And I am worthy and deserving of a happy life. And spiritual people can wear Prada. It's fine. And you know what else? There's a lot of less talented, less kind people out there charging a lot more than you do, whoever you are.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So show up. Charge what you're worth if you feel scared. What I like to tell my clients is, let's say, for example, maybe they're an hourly coach and they are charging $100 an hour, but they know they're worth two, and they really want to be charging two. And I'm like, okay, you're worth more, but it's fine. What if, like, let's. We do meditation. Right. How does it feel to charge three? Oh, that feels scary. Doesn't feel right. Okay. How does it feel to charge 275? Feels less scary. Right. How does it feel to charge 250? Well, that actually feels pretty good. Okay, cool. Let's charge 250. Right. Like, just because someone else is charging a lot more than you doesn't mean you have to charge that same amount. But you can work yourself into a place where you're comfortable with it. Because if you're charging so much more than you're comfortable doing just because your coach told you told you to, you'll probably not do well on consults or sales calls or whatnot.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because you have some fear or doubt around it. So you have to charge at a place where you feel just outside of your comfort zone, where if you know you're worth 300, but you only feel like you can charge two. Charge 250.

[A]

Yeah. And it almost goes back to that intuitive piece of feeling into the place that feels right.

[B]

Everything. Yeah, everything goes back to that.

[A]

Yeah. And so how could somebody quickly tap into being more present in their life?

[B]

Well, I think it goes back to the body again, always. So we tend to get very distracted. Our life is kind of built around devices that distract us if we are choosing to use them. And I am. We are. We're on one right now. So when we want to get more present, when we want to drop in, we want to hear our intuition. And maybe we're going through a moment of anxiety or we're dealing with some depression. You know, we're dealing with some really real stuff and some really real feeling stuff, and we feel almost shocked or spread out like we're an octopus trying to hold all the walls up. Right. What I ask you to do is drop into your body. And some people don't want to drop into their body. Some people don't feel safe there. Some people have had so much trauma in their body, some people currently have a lot of pain in their body. So I ask you to just pick one spot that you can just focus on. Because our mind doesn't actually focus on two things at the same time the way we think it does. Like, right, Multitasking is a myth. It's total bullshit. We are not a computer. We're already breathing and talking at the same time. Like, you want us to breathe, talk, and also research something at the same time so we don't do it. Well, if we want to do things with excellence, we have to do one thing at a time. So when we are wanting to just connect more and drop in and be more present and connect to our intuition, you know, an obvious one is the breath. But when you're really panicking or if you're really feeling sad, sometimes you don't even remember that you have that breath to ground you. So I'll do some pretty silly stuff. For example, I might ask you, and it's okay if the answer is no, but I might ask you right now, as you're listening, can you feel the skin between your big toe and your second toe? It's a tough one, right? It's so far away. We take our feet for granted. You know, we've got these little feet chakras, but, like, we shove them in shoes and socks, we walk on them. But there's an energy there. And it's okay if you can't feel it. The point isn't to feel it, right? Just like in meditation. The point isn't to stop thinking. The point is, in that moment while you thought, can I feel that you weren't thinking about anything else, even if it was for 5 seconds or 10 seconds. And if you're driving, for example, and maybe you have road rage and someone cuts you off and you don't want to freak out, you don't want to be that person. What I'll do is I'll just hold my steering wheel and I'll actually feel the material. Like right now, Kristen, you're wearing headphones, right? We've been on for 20ish minutes, so we start to lose sense of that, which is cool, which is normal. But if I ask you right now, can you actually feel you're wearing headphones? Yeah. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And people who wear glasses, people who wear earrings, like, can I feel that I'm wearing earrings? Actually, I can. Right? So just pick something on your body to help you drop in and ground in, even if it's just your thumb against your fingertips. And one thing I like to suggest to people, especially if they are presenting a lot or going into meetings or they're in a situation where they're nervous a lot or they're working on shifting and calming down their nervous system, if you walk into a room or even on a zoom call, all you have to do is rub your hands together like this. And let's say you're walking onto a stage and you're a little bit nervous, just rub your hands together like this and truly feel your fingertips. Rubbing your fingertips. And if I was freaking out right now, you wouldn't know I'm Just feeling I'm calming myself down, maybe warming myself up, give a nice little squeeze, take a deep breath. Hi, everyone. Welcome. Right, and to everyone else, it just looks like you're being peaceful, you're being present. They don't know you're calming yourself down. And you might have been freaking out before you walked in the room. Right? So it just goes back to the body. Just find a place in your body, even if it's as simple as rubbing your hands together. And if you rub your hands together hard and fast and then you let go, you feel tingles in your fingers, don't you? Mm. So a nice way to just be really present is to just sit with it and notice. Can I still feel the tingle 20 seconds later, 30 seconds later, a minute later. My mom and I used to play this game when I was little. She called it energy games. Right? And we would sit and we would hold our hands together and we would feel the, you know, kind of like electro energy or whatever it is between us, right? And then we would go further and further apart. Can we still feel it? Can we still feel it? We're just learning about connection and human connection and soul and energetic connection. You can do it by yourself and just feel it. So it's free. It's free. So if you forget to just breathe, tune into your hands, tune into your feet, tune into your glasses, your headphones, your earrings, your bra, if you wear one, your underwear, if you wear it. Right. Whatever it is, I love that.

[A]

That is great.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Do you have advice for someone who tends to worry more than not?

[B]

Yeah. You know what I always remember is that in this moment, I'm safe. 99.9% of the time, we're safe. There are moments where not right people in California dealing with the fires recently and so many other things, where you have to evacuate. Am I safe in this moment? But for the majority, most of the time, it's a mantra that I stick by. In this moment, I am safe. And if I know that I'm safe, and therefore my ego can calm down and not try to panic. Leave, worry, quit, run, right? All the acronyms of Fear False Events Appearing real, Fuck everything and run right. When I know in this moment I'm safe, then I can ground into that and make a better decision. So I say that to myself all the time. In this moment, I am safe. I am so safe. I'm safe to take a minute before I respond. I'm safe to take a few minutes and actually look back at what just occurred and now make A better decision about moving forward. So it's a little bit layered. You remember if you can, and if you need to rub your hands or get a ring or a tattoo or a bracelet or whatever it is, remember, in this moment, I'm safe. So since I'm safe, can I give myself permission to slow down for a second? Am I empowered enough to tell the people around me or the people that might be waiting on me? Hold on, I need a few more minutes, please. I require a few more minutes and sit with it and breathe through whatever steps you need to take before you go into action. And it feels like, well, no, no, no, there's an emergency. I just need to deal with it now. And we all have a different version of what an emergency is in our life, depending on who we take care of and what we do for a living. But it's usually not an emergency. It's that 0.1%, right? So to give yourself grace and go, I actually have more time than I think I do to handle this. And just as I was talking about multitasking before, if you slow down enough, just enough to do something mindfully and with excellence and give yourself permission to pause and breathe and tune into your body and make a more aligned choice for the outcome you want, you'll actually get a better result than if you rushed into it and tried to do it faster. When we rush and do things quickly because we're worried we make so many more mistakes and then what happens? We're compiling mistakes and then we're worried about, well, I made so many mistakes, am I going to get fired? Are they not going to like me? Am I going to get dumped? Am I not good enough when we did it?

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yes. I love that. I definitely use that mantra when I find that my mind is starting to spin out about something and I can catch it. That certain quality that it's like, is this, is this really important right now or is this just my nervous system amping up these thoughts and bringing in these more fear based thoughts? And so often if I can just bring it back to that place, I think about it as anchoring my nervous system. If I can anchor my nervous system back in that place of I'm safe right now. And sometimes it's just repeating that over and over and over again until the heart starts to calm down. And like you said, it creates that spaciousness in the mind to then be able to really problem solve or think clearly or be able to decipher. Is this really something that I need to address Right this moment, or am I okay right now to just chill out?

[B]

What you just said inspired me to share. There's two questions you can ask yourself. Is what I'm worried about really true? And is this mine? How much of this is mine? That's so good. Right? How much of what I'm worried about actually is for someone else? Or it's someone else's worry, or it's someone else's. I'm projecting someone else's judgment on me, and therefore I'm worrying on their behalf. And I don't need to do that. Yeah, you gotta get real honest with yourself. And sometimes it's not really fun.

[A]

Yeah, but it's valuable. It may not be fun. It is very valuable to ask those questions and to get clear on that stuff.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Yeah. And so how are you currently working with people?

[B]

Oh, in a variety of ways. So I do a lot of mindfulness work. I do a lot of workshops, seminars, coaching, consulting. A lot of businesses bring me in for very tailored, specific things. Like, for example, I mentioned the fires in California. I recently led a mindfulness workshop for the Producers Guild of America because there's so many people in the entertainment industry in Los Angeles. So we talked about mindfulness, working through stress during times of trauma and crisis. I work with a lot of HR companies, and on an individual standpoint, I at the time have two offerings. One, I have my group coaching program, which is called the Emerald Collective. It is ridiculously affordable. It's $99 a month. I mean, maybe that'll change by the time someone finds this in a few years from now, but at this time, that's what I'm charging. I want it to be accessible. It's easy. You drop in, I lead a meditation, and we ask questions. It's a Q and A. I teach a little bit. There's a Facebook group. All of my online courses are there. And it's such a joy for me, and it's just easy for everyone. So that was my intention in setting that up. And I attract a lot of other intuitive business owners. And I do work with some clients one on one. There's an application process, but as long as you are kind, loving, generous, and loyal and creative. And when I say loyal, not loyal to me, but loyal to your mission, loyal to your causes, just really, truly a genuine human being. I very rarely turn people away, so I occasionally open up my calendar for one on ones.

[A]

Awesome. And is there anything else along all of the things that we've talked about today that feels like it's bubbling up. That feels like it needs to be said before we start to close.

[B]

You know, a lot of people, and thank you for asking that question. A lot of spiritual people, because they are healers, helpers, doers, change makers. Not only do they want to just give things away for free, but sometimes they. And I'll speak from. I'll speak in I statements because this was me for a very long time, right? I used to want to save everyone and fix everyone. And it wasn't until my wedding in 2011, my sister gave her maid of honor speech and she said, I knew Kaylin, my husband. I knew Kaylin was the one for you because you weren't trying to fix him or change him or save him and all your other boyfriends you were trying to save. Ooh, I get chills even talking about that now. And what that symbolizes for me, and I hope everyone can bring this image into their heart and carry it with them, is we want to be the lighthouse, not the lifesaver. Because the lifesaver is that styrofoam ring that gets tossed off the boat into the ice cold water with sharks and someone panicking, right? And they're like, the person is literally grabbing onto the lifesaver and pushing it under the water. And when we are a lifesaver, we are suffocating with the person. We surround ourselves with many empathic people just based on the nature of our work. But if we can choose in the moment to release the empathy of physically feeling what someone else is feeling, because that's not fun, and shift from a place of empathy into compassion. I feel with you, and now I feel for you, right? Going into the I feel for you, then we can get to work. Because if you're physically feeling what someone else is feeling all the time, then you're kind of stuck in the muck with them. So what we want to do instead of be a lifesaver is we want to be the lighthouse. And that's a very common term. And what I love about being the lighthouse is we're standing tall and strong on the beach, unwavering. A lighthouse doesn't pick up its skirt and run into the ocean, right? It's like, no, it's just there and it's got this beacon of light shining so bright miles and miles into the distance. So people who are either trying to find their way or people who are lost and in dismay can find their way to that shore. And then they shake themselves off, dry themselves off, and stand up just as tall and strong and bright as the lighthouse next to the them. So that is our job. Be the lighthouse, not the lifesaver.

[A]

I love that metaphor. That's so beautiful. Thank you for that.

[B]

You're welcome. My pleasure.

[A]

And then to. To close things up, are you willing to give listeners a small action step that they can take into their lives?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. You know, when you feel like you're a bit worried, lost, confused, like, what's the point? Right? We tend to get into phases where we know we need to pivot, but we're scared to pivot. And then it goes into, why am I even doing all this? Why am I even putting all this hard work in? And that's true even for parents. Sometimes they feel defeated by their kids, how their kids behave and all of that. And there's a few action steps, but one that stands out for me in the morning is I. I take out a notebook, and I do this every day. And I was never a big journaler, and I regret that a bit now that I'm in my 40s, because I think it's such a helpful healing tool. But I open my journal or I open a notebook, and I write what does my soul need to hear today? And I just let it flow. And the magic that I have seen come through the pen, come through our higher self, our guides, our angels. We can be so honest with ourselves in complete privacy of our notebook in a way that we're not always that honest with ourselves out loud in front of other people. And when we remove our ego from participating in the advice, and we just invite spirit in to say, what does my soul need to hear today? It might be the simplest message. It might be complicated or complex. But there will be guidance that you can be proud of, truly comes from your higher self, where you are directing yourself in a way that is fulfilling in your dreams and your peace, and really does help regulate your nervous system, too. Because the advice you're going to get from spirit is usually not in conflict or hurtful or any of that. And oftentimes the messages will be repeated. So whether you actually do it with a notebook or you just do it in a meditation, or you do it in the middle of a, you know, of a meeting, if you're pissed off, you want to walk away to the bathroom, that's the action I take every day. What does my soul need to hear right now? And just breathe and drop in and listen. And I've been doing this since about 2013, and I have notebooks and notebooks of the most beautiful soul advice that I plan to share with people one day. And it doesn't mean that everybody needs to share it, but if you'll give yourself permission, even for just 2, 3 minutes to sit down and listen and write, it will do you a world of good. And the last thing I'll say about it, what I love about this process, different than even getting coaching or receiving coaching, is it truly came from you. And there's nothing more valuable than being proud of yourself and how you helped yourself get there. Even when working with a coach, you still have to receive the guidance or coaching, Filter it through your comfort levels and choose what you feel aligned to do, and then be proud of yourself. Right. But it's really special when we can give ourselves credit for getting ourselves to where we want to go. And of course, in gratitude to all the people that helped us get there, as well as our team spirit. Right?

[A]

Yes, definitely. That's awesome. That's so helpful. Thank you so much. Oh, is there anything else that you would like to say?

[B]

There's so many.

[A]

So many things.

[B]

I mean, I would. I would definitely. I would definitely encourage everyone if they feel like they can't meditate. And I know that you've covered this on occasion, too, on your show. Right. But if you can't meditate, if you feel like I. I just can't. I can't get out of my head. Meet yourself where you're at. You don't have to stop thinking. You don't have to get out of your head. If you just sit for five or ten minutes, just set a timer. And if the timer goes off and you're like, oh, I was daydreaming the whole time, well, guess what? You just needed that peace. You needed that privacy. So the idea in meditation is not to stop thinking. It's to stop judging yourself for the experience that you just had. And if you want to be a master meditator and meditate for an hour a day, good for you. But I think it's totally fair just to do three minutes if you can just. Right, Just three minutes. I set it. I set a timer for three and a half minutes, and I do four different cycles. And that helps my wild and crazy fun brain stay focused. I can focus for three and a half minutes for sure. Totally. Four, five. I don't know.

[A]

It's pushing it, right?

[B]

There's times that I have. But we want to give ourselves grace. Right. Be gentle with yourself as you transform.

[A]

Yeah. Give, like the little baby steps. Give yourself things that you can do or that you can succeed at.

[B]

Absolutely. And I think that, you know, that goes to the idea of all this wonderful wisdom you're getting today on. On your show. Kristen, on. I have a podcast, the Brilliance Method, on my show.

[A]

Awesome.

[B]

Yeah. Like, whatever you're hearing and whoever you're working with, it only goes so far without implementation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. So if anyone who's listening right now loves going to seminars and workshops and courses and reading books and listening to podcasts, like, I love it. I'm a lifelong learner. But then what? Right? Implement. Try it. Do it. Go all in. Go all in on yourself. It's worth it.

[A]

And do you want to talk for. We really will end this, but do you want to talk for one second about the Brilliance Method? I'd like to hear just a little bit about that.

[B]

Oh, sure. Thank you. So I created the Brilliance Method, which is my online course and my coaching program, because people were asking me, many people were asking me, how did you do it? Like, how did you beat cancer? How do you start these businesses and they're successful? How are you married to your soulmate? Doesn't mean I don't have my own slew of bullshit and trauma and drama and problems. I do. I am human. But I'm so grateful for the abundant, beautiful life that I have. And I had to take a step and go, how did I do it? And in 2019, I was producing online courses for major universities, 2019 through 2021. So I learned from the best of the best how to create a course curriculum, which I then later was teaching my clients. And I have a course about it, of course. Of course. And when I did my own work and I mapped out how did I do it, I put it into a course frame, starting with listening to your intuition and then going through different action steps. And in leading these coaching programs for so long, I was truly feeling called to do what you do and to share this with the masses and have conversations with incredibly insightful, intuitive, empowered people who are also willing to share stories of failure. You know how to. Because we can't just hear success stories. We can't just hear how to strategies. We have to know how someone messed it up in order to get there. And my guests on my show have been so wonderfully vulnerable in sharing those stories. So it's called the Brilliance Method, and the tagline is to create your life on purpose. Because that's what I want everyone to do. Mindfully, purposefully, create your life on your terms, your way, no matter how anyone else has done it. So it's available everywhere video and audio.

[A]

Awesome. It sounds wonderful. Thank you so much for coming on, Alicia. It's been such a pleasure to connect with you.

[B]

Oh thanks, love. What a joy. I hope to have you on my show as well.

[A]

I would love that. That would be really fun.

[B]

Thank you, Kristen. And thank you to everyone, all your beautiful souls who tuned in.

[A]

Hi there, it's me again. I hope you enjoyed this conversation and I'll have all of Alicia's information in the show notes. So check her out and I'll be back next week. Hey there. Thanks again for listening. I want to let you know about a couple of resources that I'm offering if you're interested in going a little deeper. I have a deep breath meditation as well as a Nourished for Resilience workbook. There'll be links in the show notes if you're interested in checking them out. And I'm also currently offering one on one coaching around nervous system health, self care, resilience. I like to weave in Ayurveda herbs, somatics if it makes sense, as well as ayurvedic consultations. So if you're interested in seeing if we're a good fit, I have a schedule for booking an exploratory call in the show notes. Hope to connect with you soon.

[B]

Have a great weekend.