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Welcome to the Nourished Nervous System, an exploration of stress, the nervous system and resilience for parents and other humans through the lens of Ayurveda, somatics, herbs and a whole lot more. I'm your host, Kristin Timchak, an Ayurvedic health counselor, stress and resilience coach, somatic stress release practitioner, and mother of a tiny human. Please join me for information and insights, deep thoughts and small steps to help you nourish your nervous system. Hello, hello, welcome, and welcome back to the Nourished Nervous System. I am super duper grateful that you're here, that you're taking a moment of your day to tune in and listen. I can't really explain how much I appreciate you. So I want to talk about something that I've talked about before in different ways because I feel like it's one of these concepts that in my own life I keep on coming back to and I don't think I fully understand all the nuance and complexity of it. So I think I keep on coming back to this and finding some deeper layers and levels with it. But it's this idea of the tension between doing and being, this idea of creating that balance between implementing the practices, the habits, the rituals, diet and lifestyle what you will to help to create more health and vitality in the body and mind as well as a more resilient nervous system juxtaposed with this concept of just being, just being with ourselves as we are and acceptance and literally just the act of being instead of doing. So I think I keep on coming back to this because we live in a culture that is obsessed with doing and even in our health spaces and our self care spaces, there's so much information constantly coming at us on what to do to regulate our nervous systems, what to do to be healthy. And it can be really overwhelming. And I think we're all a bit exhausted and also just need more time to be. I'm grateful for all of the information that's out there and all of the different modalities and tools. I think it's super incredible actually, and amazing. And yet we're also in this culture that's so focused on productivity that sometimes even our self care has a feeling of needing to be productive and we all need to cultivate our capacity to just. So I kind of go back and forth between these things. I think about that, how we need to just be more and do less. But then I also then kind of flip back into but we do need to be doing things, especially if you're chronically ill, especially if you have some big imbalances that you're working with in your life, in your health, in your mind, body and spirit, then there are certain things that we need to be doing to start to tip the scales back into balance. And so it's this dance, right? It's not one thing or the other, but how can we be with both, especially in a culture that's obsessed and hyper focused on the doing parts. And so something that came up for me recently, which has got me thinking about this again is a couple conversations I've had recently. So I'm going to share a little bit of this to give some context. And so one of my dearest friends has been in a transition with work. She left a job that was extremely stressful, very depleting for her on so many different levels where she felt like she was having to constantly push through her body's wisdom to be in that environment. And so she's in this doorway right now from leaving that job and actually leaving the whole field she was in to looking for the next thing. And so she's been out of work for a few months now. And one of the things that we've been talking about is that she sometimes has these feelings that she has all this time, but she's not using it in the most beautiful, productive ways of nourishing herself and her spirit and can find herself doing things that just kind of take up space. And I was reflecting that. I also, when I've had lots of time in my life, I've also had that experience of feeling like it's actually hard to do all the things that ideally I'd want to be doing. And even now as a parent, when I don't have that much time, I can still sometimes find, when I do have some extra space that I just kind of can check out and, you know, scroll social media or something like that. These things that they have their use and their purpose, but they don't always feel like the best ways that I could be inhabiting that time. And this conversation has made me think about a few things. First of all, we have this deep cultural narrative that we need to be productive. Even when we think about the ways that we're caring for ourselves, there's a feeling of that when I have all this time and space, I need to be caring for myself in a way that's productive. And that's just something that's. It's the water we're swimming in. And it's not an easy thing to change. But it's something that I'm becoming aware of. And I think that's a part of changing these paradigms is becoming aware that they even exist on some level. We're all exhausted. I'm exhausted. And so self care can become this obligatory practice. And then this thing happens where when we're not doing it to the fullest or not doing all those things, that there can be this sense of shame that can creep in. And I think that sense of shame is connected to this idea that we should be productive always. One of the things that this friend was also talking about is how it took, you know, a couple months from leaving her job of resting, of, you know, eating well, of doing all the things. It took a couple months in that kind of space to actually let go of the stress of the job. It's reminiscent of something one of my Ayurveda teachers, Claudia Welch, would say. She does a lot of work with Ayurveda in hormones, but that because of a female's hormonal makeup and our relationship with stress and how that affects our sex hormones and all of our hormones that most women need, like six months on the couch of just doing nothing, six months of rest to just get back to base level. And so if you're exhausted and there's a lot of stress in your life and self care feels hard, just know that A, you're not alone and B, that that's normal and that there's no shame in that. And I've been thinking about lately how so. I had this vision thing that happened in August. If you were on my newsletter, I mentioned it there, that it made it really hard for me to look at my phone. And so I had this extended period where I wasn't really on screens very much at all, not looking at my phone. And it felt so. And now I'm noticing my vision is starting to get better and that it's creeping back in. And I've been thinking about this, that we often go to social media or shows or these things for our rest, which, by the way, there's no shame here. There isn't anything inherently wrong with screens, with social media or with shows. But if what you are really needing is is actual rest, those things can only bring you so far. I think about it like, if your body, your physical body is really craving nutrients and protein, and to satisfy that craving, you eat some processed sugar because it's right there, it's easy to access, it feels good, it'll give you that momentary satisfaction, but it won't nourish the deeper craving. That deeper craving is still gonna be there. And I think the same is true with what we consume through our senses. So what we actually may be craving is to have less sensory stimulation, to rest, to have a rejuvenative practice. But it can feel like more effort to give ourselves that. To create that space for that. And it's easy to reach for our phones and sit on the couch for a little bit. And it can feel really relaxing in small doses, but it doesn't actually satisfy the deeper need. And in excess, it can actually make us feel worse, especially when we think about the nervous system. If your nervous system is hypervigilant or constantly in a sympathetic state, taking in more information, especially information that can be potentially stressful, isn't going to help in the long run. I also can see our phones or screens sometimes as like a force field. If you have children or you live in a house where there's many people, it can be this little thing that delineates space in a way. I'm doing something on my phone. It's like putting up a little force field bubble around yourself, saying, I'm busy. I can't talk right now. I can't engage. And so I think it can also be something that we use to protect our space or our energy or to create that little force field around ourselves. So it's interesting, you know, all the ways that we may be using this to help us get something that it's not actually fulfilling, if that makes sense. And I just want to say I am speaking this from personal experience and what I'm noticing in myself. I am not on a higher level with all of this stuff. I'm in the work of all of this, as much as you may be. But these are things that I'm noticing, and these are things that we can practice. I taught at the Common Ground Fair a couple weekends ago, and it's this wonderful big country fair put on by the main Organic Farmers and Growers Association. And it's amazing. There's tons of artisans and beautiful food and workshops all day long on anything that you can imagine. And I taught some classes on the nervous system and resilience and herbs. And so I was at the fair all three days. And it's a lot of people. It's a lot of energy and a lot of sensory stimulation. And I've been feeling pretty good lately in my nervous system and in my health. And I know that it's something that I want to continue to feel and to continue to nurture. So I knew going into this, I had to set up some ways to counterbalance all of it. And so every day when I came home from the fair, even though there was a million things I actually needed to do around the house, I took 20 minutes to bring my senses inward and do a yoga nidra practice and close my eyes and get quiet and just have that rest, that little reset, that sensory reset, that really helped me through the next days. I oiled my body. I did all my practices that I needed to do to calm vata to ground. And it really made a difference in how I felt throughout the weekend and how I felt afterwards. I felt tired afterwards, but not as depleted as I've felt when I've just gone to the fair for a day in the past. So these things that we can do to nourish ourselves, even though they're a little harder than eating the sugar, having the social media, the quick fix, when we can bring them into practice, they really can make a difference. The other conversation that's made an impact on me recently is someone was talking about how they're always in this heightened, sympathetic state and have been as long as they can remember. And they've seen lots of therapists and healers and have been given a million types of nervous system regulation tools. But they're saying that a lot of them just seem to agitate their nervous system more. They don't actually help. And the first thing that they found that has really helped them is somatic work. Just this process of learning how to be in their body has made the most impact on them in beginning to regulate their nervous systems. And that really struck me because I think it also ties into this idea that sometimes we need to do less and be more, be in ourselves more. And as I said, doing has its place. When we're trying to shift things in our health and our nervous systems, there's often some amount of doing. But if you're in a place where your nervous system is so agitated, where you're carrying so much stress, sometimes you actually just really, really, really need to simplify and just be just learning how to be in your body. As I mentioned, I am feeling good right now in my health and in my nervous system. In my mind, I feel pretty stable and my energy levels are good. And it's actually the best I've felt in a long time. And I was reflecting about how three years ago, I couldn't even get off the couch. And just how much has changed. And it's been this twofold thing that has got me here. It's the things that I've changed in my life, the actual steps, the things that I've done, but it's also changing my whole orientation to being, to learning how to really inhabit my body and check in with my body throughout the days and have it be something that's more of the way I'm living instead of these isolated practices that I'm doing. And so, as I've said, we live in this culture that's so production oriented, that's so movement oriented, and from an Ayurvedic or yogic lens, I would say that our culture is both very rajasic in nature and also very tamasic in nature. And that finding the satva with the right amounts of rajas and tamas is, I feel like the way to find more balance. So rajas is that quality of the mind that's active, passionate, energetic. But when it's out of balance, it's overwhelm, anxiety, frustration, anger, overwork, overdoing. And we have a lot of rajas in our culture. It's important. We need rajas, but. But we also need the tamas, which is rest, it's darkness, it's inertia. When it goes out of balance, though, it can be the depression and lethargy and feeling stuck in that freeze state. And then Sattva is that place of purity, contentment, it's clear and still, it's spacious. It's that space where we can respond with clarity, with truth, instead of reacting out of fear or anger or irritation. And so I think about rajas is how you might feel after three cups of coffee and an intense meeting. And Tama says how you may feel after a six hour Netflix marathon, eating pizza and chips the whole time. Sattva is how you may feel after a day of meditation retreat or doing a yoga practice or things like that. So these are extreme examples, but just to have that embodied feeling of what these different qualities may feel like. And sometimes I think we find that place of balance where these things are all working together in the right way by tipping out of balance. And as we find our balance more and more, those tips out of balance become smaller and smaller. But sometimes we've tipped so far out of balance that we need to get a little bit more extreme and disciplined and put the effort in to get back into balance. And so I think of those times as times to do a reset, a time to simplify and bring in more practices that will bring you back into relationship with your life force. Especially if you're tipping out of balance in the rajasic way of doing too much, going too hard, working too hard, not having enough space. And I think what can sometimes naturally happen is if you stay in that state for too long and you get burnt out, it flips and all of a sudden you're in the tamasic state, the depression, lethargy, fatigue, not feeling stuck, not being able to get out of bed. So if you're still in that rajasic state and you know that you need more rest, it could be a perfect time to do a reset. So fall and spring are really great times to reset resetting with the seasons. And I do have a link to a weekend nervous system reset template that will be linked in the show notes. If you want to do an at home, really simple reset, if you're also in that really tamasic state. Sometimes in order to get out of the tamasic state, we also need a little bit of movement, of discipline. But if you're in that place where you're so exhausted or your nervous system is in that hyper vigilant state a lot and so doing things, actually, even if they're things that are supposed to be helpful for your nervous system, if they actually are feeling irritating to your nervous system, it may actually just be helpful to just simplify and focus first on just being, on just coming into relationship with your body. And this can be hard, especially if there's a lot of discomfort or pain in the body. So starting really small, this can be so small. Is there one part of your body that you can inhabit? The tip of your pinky, Your left elbow? Your right big toe? Just someplace in your body that feels okay, that feels neutral? And just practice by bringing your awareness and attention to that place, can you feel it from the inside? Can you connect with that place of neutrality or okayness? Even if it's just a tiny spot, can you embody that place? And as you practice this, you may begin to notice that there are other places. Or as you feel more okayness in that place, the okayness may spread, it may grow, but it's just a practice. It's a doing, but it's minimal effort. It's literally just sitting, finding a place in your body that feels okay and just letting your awareness rest in that place. Feel the sensations that are there, feel what it feels like. It could be literally a 30 second thing, but when done regularly, it may build and grow and it can help you to get out of your mind and create a tether and a relationship with your body. Other ways that you can incorporate more being and less doing. Is to choose something that you're already doing in your life and making it a ritual instead of a habit. So for instance, it could be something as simple as your shower. You're already doing it. You don't need to add anything new, anything extra, but you can make it a practice of presence. Can you feel the water on your body? Can you imagine the water washing your stress down the drain? Can you tune into the smells and the sounds of the shower and feel these things in an embodied way so that once again, you're getting out of the brain and the stories and having. Even if it's just that little amount of time that you're actually inhabiting your body, it could be your morning coffee or tea. If you're already doing that, use that as a moment to pause and tune into your senses and become fully present with the experience in your body. And this is a way that you can start to build capacity for rest, for just being. The other thing I want to talk about here is boredom. I didn't have a smartphone until I was 35, I think, so I really remember life without the constant dopamine hits. And I remember being bored and how that sometimes led to creativity. And I remember just being while waiting for something or reading a book to fill the time, which is so much less vata aggravating than being on the phone. And so if you find that your nervous system is tapped out and you're deeply exhausted, you can also work on building your capacity for boredom. Replace some of your screen time with less instant gratification, less digital activities, but more real tangible activities. Read a book, color in a coloring book, do a paper, crossword puzzle, and then begin to see if there are times that you can do nothing. Like question that urge to reach for the phone. Just see if you can question it. Even if you end up reaching for your phone, that little impulse to say, do I need to do this right now? Gives yourself a space to make a choice. Instead of it just having it be this autopilot habit thing of, oh, there's a free moment, I'm not sure what to do. Let me go check in with my phone, make it a choice. Like, yes, I'm going to choose my phone right now, or no, actually, I think I can just sit for a minute and just be in my body. And I'll be the first to tell you that rest is definitely one of my edges. It is not easy for me, especially when I'm in my house and I can see all of the things that I need to do. I Actually, I find it much easier to rest outside in nature. Like, if I go for a walk to a lake or a river or whatever it is and take some time to just sit in nature, I find it much easier to just be and to rest. I also have found that for me, creating a little structure around my rest when I'm in my house is really, really helpful. So doing a Savasana practice, which is pretty much I just put a yoga mat on the floor and I lie down and put a blanket over me, and then I just lie there. But somehow doing it in this way gives me the permission to do it, or a yoga nidra practice or restorative yoga. And yes, I know we're still doing something, but they are things that require really minimal effort to just create a structure for me to be. So once that minimal effort is done, I get to just be in my body and rest. And they help me build my capacity for rest. And it's so helpful. It's hard for me to just sit on the couch when there's so much to do around the house and not do anything. And I think that sometimes when we sit on the couch and look at our phones or watch something on the computer, we're actually looking for that structure that gives us that space to just sit and be. But if your nervous system, if your nervous system is solid and you're feeling healthy and good, like, go for it, scroll, binge on the Netflix, whatever it is. But if your nervous system is agitated or aggravated or stuck, and what it really needs is that true rest, doing things on the screens is going to be eating sugar instead of the nutrients. And I know the bigger goal is to be able to just rest, to be able to take time, lie on the couch, do what you need to do without having to create structures to rest. But I think in a lot of ways that's a bigger cultural paradigm shift. And I think the more that we can begin to build our capacity for rest and make those small steps in our own lives and take that time for rest, even if we need that structure in the beginning, the more that it'll slowly ripple out and we can begin to change that cultural narrative around rest. But I think in the meantime, do what you need to do to get there. If putting a mat out on the floor and calling it Shavasana helps you to get the rest, then go for that. Okay, I think that's all I want to say here. I hope there's some helpful nuggets. And for your small step for this week, examine your relationship with boredom. Are you okay feeling bored? Are there any ways that you could increase your capacity for boredom? If you find yourself constantly reaching for your phone, even if you choose to grab your phone, can you have that moment of pause and question with it? Okay, well, have a wonderful week, and I will be back next week. Hey there. Thanks for listening. I really appreciate you. If you weren't listening, I'd be sitting in this room talking to myself, and that could get kind of weird. So I really, really do appreciate you. If you can think of anybody else that might enjoy listening, please share. And if you share on social media, please tag me. Nourished nervous system. Have a beautiful day.