The OCD Stories – Episode #507

Guest: Chrissie Hodges
Host: Stuart Ralph
Title: Acceptance of OCD
Date: October 12, 2025

Episode Overview

In this thought-provoking episode, Stuart Ralph welcomes peer support specialist, advocate, and author Chrissie Hodges for a deep-dive into the concepts of acceptance and radical acceptance within the context of living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Speaking not from a clinical but a lived-experience perspective, Chrissie unpacks what acceptance truly means, why it's so widely misunderstood, common barriers (especially with taboo themes), and why practicing acceptance is often one of the hardest but most essential skills in OCD recovery. The discussion is packed with practical wisdom, vulnerable stories, and validation for anyone struggling to "accept" the reality of their OCD.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chrissie’s Current Work and Community (02:00–04:16)

• Chrissie shares her updates: development of an online support community/app for people with OCD offering forums, book club, victory sharing, and support groups worldwide.
• Launching in-person international events via her organization OCD Game Changers.
• Starting a master’s in counseling, combining new clinical skills with ongoing peer support work.

2. What is Acceptance in OCD? The Source of Misunderstanding (05:55–08:45)

• Acceptance is commonly misunderstood as “approving” or “believing” intrusive thoughts are true.
• Chrissie’s definition: “Acceptance is acknowledging or recognizing something that is true, such as a fact or an offer.” (05:55)
• Crucially, acceptance is not about accepting the content of intrusive thoughts, but accepting the presence of OCD and the experience as part of one’s life.

3. What Acceptance is NOT (09:12–15:23)

• Not approval:

  “Acceptance is not approval. This is the number one thing I think I hear or I hear from individuals when we talk about acceptance... ‘If I have to practice acceptance, then I have to approve of the thoughts...’”
  — Chrissie (10:12)

• Not surrendering/giving up:
  Many fear “surrender” means endless suffering or becoming their intrusive thoughts.

• Not weakness:
  Letting go of the fight can feel weak, but often it’s the bravest act.

• Not ‘being OK’ with the content:
  You’re not accepting the truth of the thoughts, but accepting their presence.

• Acceptance is a nuanced, layered choice; it may look different when insight is high versus when someone is deeply triggered or doubting.

4. Acceptance is Not the Same as Relief or Peace (19:38–29:19)

• Misconception that acceptance should feel positive or easy.
• Practicing acceptance often evokes difficult emotions (pain, shame, despair)—and that’s OK.
• “Acceptance is painful... Acceptance evokes deep negative emotions sometimes. And that’s okay too.” — Chrissie (21:52)
• Stuart shares his own experience: Acceptance didn't make anxiety disappear instantly, but it stopped the cycle of struggle.

  “I wasn’t at peace, but I wasn’t fighting it anymore. So in some way I was in pain, but I wasn’t struggling...” (23:56)

5. Barriers to Acceptance (especially with Taboo Themes) (35:57–41:13)

• Intense shame, guilt, and self-blame undermine acceptance, especially for taboo or disgust-inducing intrusive thoughts.

• “Acceptance is difficult... due to the intense fear, shame, self-blame, and that the thoughts might be revealing one’s true self, leading to resistance rather than acceptance.”
  — Chrissie (36:07)

• Fear that acceptance = risk (of harm, of being the “bad” person OCD claims).

• The “deserving” piece—feeling unworthy of happiness blocks acceptance.

• Wanting to feel continual disgust/agitation as “proof” one is not the feared content.

6. Low Insight: Unique Challenges (19:10–19:38, 39:26–41:13)

• Acceptance is especially hard when insight is low and it feels “this time, it isn’t OCD, it’s real.”
• Building insight can take time and repetition; self-compassion is a crucial ingredient.
• Therapists can help increase insight and tolerance for uncertainty.

7. Radical Acceptance: Beyond Basic Acknowledgment (41:13–54:11)

• Definition:

  “Radical acceptance... means completely embracing and challenging facts of your reality with your whole being. It involves accepting the past and present situation fully without judgment.”
  — Chrissie (41:17)

• RADICAL acceptance feels terrifying:

  “It feels like the epitome of being trapped. I am trapped in this moment and all I want to do is look to the past when it used to be better and look to the future... with doom.” (41:39)

• Chrissie: She can’t practice radical acceptance in the thick of an episode—might come later, when she can see things more clearly.

• Radical acceptance is not approving of, condoning, or liking the experience—it’s about letting go of the urge to make reality different before moving forward.

8. Visual Metaphors & Strategies (44:57–47:38)

• The “tug-of-war with a monster”/dropping the rope metaphor (Act): Letting go stops the struggle.
• “The mind is like a muddy puddle... It’s best cleared by leaving it alone.” (Alan Watts) (44:57)
• Practicing radical acceptance gives freedom: “There’s freedom in seeing exactly what’s happening right now and not judging or having to change it—because eventually, it will naturally change on its own.” — Chrissie (47:11)

9. Acceptance in Everyday Life: The Difficult Person Analogy (51:35–52:20)

• Radical acceptance in OCD is like learning to be with a difficult family member—you don’t approve/like it, but you accept the reality and let go of the urge for them to change.

10. Recovery is an Ongoing Practice (52:20–54:11)

• OCD may always be present; symptoms can recur.
• Acceptance is not a finish line—it evolves with recovery.
• “Acceptance is whatever it is to you. ...It is something to be practiced. It is fluid and will likely change over time as you get deeper and farther into your recovery. But keep practicing.” — Chrissie (54:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the biggest misconception:

  “Acceptance is not approval. This is the number one thing I think I hear... it’s not approval of the thoughts.” (10:12)

• On why acceptance feels so hard:

  “If I accept and I surrender to this, then whatever dark feeling I've experienced before—I'm just allowing myself to experience that every day, all day, for the rest of my life. And that is terrifying for people.” — Chrissie (11:50)

• On practicing acceptance in pain:

  “I was in the haze for a while with OCD... I fought for a good three hours. And then, very much like you, the surrender... the sadness flooded it. That is not relief. That is not peace. But what it was is exactly what you said: it was stopping the fight.” (25:22)

• On the role of shame in taboo themes:

  “There is this... fears that there’s something deeper that needs to be resolved—‘This cannot be OCD’—and I'm not willing to take the risk. And that's where acceptance can really become tricky.” (38:43)

• On the emotional vulnerability of acceptance:

  “Just thinking about it makes me want to come to tears. Like, just the vulnerability of—I have to sit in this. I have to sit in this right now in order to move through it. It is terrifying. It is dark. It's such a dark, isolating place...” (29:19)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Chrissie’s support community/app: 02:00–03:30
• Acceptance definition + first misconceptions: 05:55–08:45
• What acceptance is NOT: 09:12–15:23
• Why acceptance doesn’t feel good: 19:38–22:51
• Taboo themes, shame, and authenticity barriers: 35:57–39:26
• Low Insight, therapy, and self-compassion: 39:26–41:13
• Radical acceptance defined & practiced: 41:13–47:38
• Daily life analogy for radical acceptance: 51:35–52:20
• Acceptance as ongoing practice: 52:20–54:11

Tone & Language

Throughout, Chrissie and Stuart are empathetic, validating, and use plain, conversational language. They share from personal experience, do not sugarcoat the pain involved, and make clear that acceptance is difficult, nuanced work especially when confronting shame, guilt, and terror.

Takeaway Messages

• Acceptance does not mean approving or believing intrusive thoughts—it's accepting the experience of OCD itself.
• Radical acceptance is a deeper, non-judgmental embrace of "what is," which does not equal liking or approving a situation, but letting go of the urge to change reality before moving forward.
• The practice of acceptance is often painful, does not bring instant peace, and involves sitting with discomfort.
• Shame, guilt, fear, low insight, and a sense of unworthiness can all be barriers—these are normal but can be worked through with time, practice, and self-compassion.
• Acceptance is a fluid, ongoing skill that evolves throughout recovery and can support living meaningfully even with OCD's presence.

If you are struggling with acceptance in OCD—it's normal. It's a hard, courageous practice, and you are not alone.