← The OCD Stories
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- [00:00]
A
You're listening to the OCD Stories podcast hosted by me, Stuart Ralph. The OCD Stories is a podcast dedicated to raising awareness and understanding around obsessive compulsive symptoms. I do this through interviewing inspired therapists, psychologists and people who have experienced OCD. Welcome to the OCD stories and welcome to episode 516 of the podcast. And in this one I chat with Emma who has kindly agreed to share her OCD story with us. And in it we discuss OCD around parenting, real event themed OCD group therapy and her experiences of it, rumination, reassurance, dealing with shame, creativity and recovery and much more. And thanks to our podcast partners. Nocd. If OCD is interfering with your life, NOCD can help their licensed therapists specialise in exposure response prevention therapy. The most proven therapy for OCD with no CD effective treatment that is 100% virtual, is available for children and adults with OCD and most members can get started within seven days on average. No hassle, just real science backed help and support between sessions. Begin your journey@nocd.com or I'll put the link in the episode description. So thank you so much to Emma for her time and her story. I really enjoyed chatting with her and hearing it and I'm glad she's doing better. And of course, thank you to you guys for listening. As always, without further ado, here is Emma. Welcome to the podcast, Emma.
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B
Thank you.
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A
Hi, it's good to have you on. So I'd love to hear your OCD story and you can share that now, as little as much detail as you want to give.
- [01:43]
B
Okay, where to start? I guess my OCD has been there pretty much my, as far as I can remember about my whole, whole adult life really. Although whether I would have identified it as such, probably not. I'd had from the age of kind of, oh, I don't know, into my 20s. I think that was the first time I had some counseling. That was after a sort of relationship breakup and I kind of didn't recognize at that point that my kind of ways of thinking were very kind of ocd. And it only really became sort of very clear to me once I started having recent therapy kind of this year really that there was the clarity of, you know, this is what it actually is. And it was only at that point that I could really start to kind of reframe things and really start to work on them.
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A
Okay. Yeah, so, okay, so when was your earliest memory, do you think of ocd? Sorry, yeah, that's what.
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B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess my, my early memories of it. Now, looking back when I was a child, actually there were things that I remember really fixating on and in a way that I, I suppose I thought was kind of normal. But it's only since again, as I've kind of gotten older and, and looking back and thinking, wow, I really couldn't get off of those things and, and how difficult that was for me at the time.
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A
Yeah. Wow. And so you may, may have said it, I may have missed it. At what age did you, you think, oh, there's a problem here?
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B
I think the first time that happened that would have been when I was, oh, probably in my early 40s, I guess. My kids were about kind of 8, 10 years old. And I started to realize that I was having a lot of very specific thoughts about how I was as a mother. And I was really getting stuck on a lot of things that, that had happened and hadn't been able to let go of them. I think when they were really small, I, I didn't struggle with that so much because I was so. Had to be so engaged in them that, that I kind of was able to put the kind of those sort of thoughts aside. But then, yeah, once they got a little bit older where they start to get a bit more independent, I really started to realize that, oh, it was. Became really, really difficult. And that's when I sort of first turned to somebody to try and get some help. But that really wasn't very targeted. Well, I didn't really understand what OCD was. I, I realized I was having a problem, but I didn't realize what OCD was. And the therapist that I was talking to at that point clearly didn't either. It more was sort of ended up being a kind of talking therapy type thing. And again now I, I understand that actually that can really aggravate it and if anything probably make it worse. But then it kind of, it did kind of go away again. And I, I can't tell you what, what I did to make that happen. It, it just subsided a bit, I guess. And, and then over the next 10 years it sort of. I had little episodes of it, but nothing too bad. Again, it would maybe come for I would say perhaps a month or so and then it would. I'd be able to put things to the back of my mind, sort of force it away, I guess. And then the most recent episode of it was the sort of middle of 2023. I'd. My circumstances at that point had changed because I. We'd got back from living abroad for seven and my, my partner lives abroad, works abroad. And, and I was kind of left to kind of support my two children, one of whom is autistic. And I think a lot of the time, because I was on my own, I had so much time to start getting into my head and that's when the ruminations, sort of. One particularly related to sort of a past event kind of just got in there and would not go away. And, and on top of that, I then started to have memories again of all the things that I did as a bad mother. And they kind of, it just got really, really bad. And, and I was, I sort of was working with a therapist, a trauma based therapist, which was helpful for some of the trauma that had happened when I was younger. My, my mother had left when I was 13 years old. So, so there was that side of things and I think that she was trying to kind of relate that to lots of the things that I was struggling with and saying that that possibly was powering, but the, the OCD type thoughts. Anyway, I had that therapy for two years, but it really didn't move anything all that much. And that's what, that's why I changed therapist at the beginning of this year. It was OCD specific therapy and thankfully that's when things started to change.
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A
Okay, well, brilliant, I'm glad to hear that. And yeah, we'll ask you all about that just to stay on your, your sort of earlier story a bit, a bit longer. Sorry again, I might have missed it. But were you aware when you were seeing the trauma therapist, were you aware of OCD at that point?
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B
I was, but not, I think I kind of knew at that point through doing bits of reading and obviously talking to her about, you know, we are talking about OCD here, aren't we? And she kind of pretty much confirmed that, but it wasn't that there was any kind of nothing moving towards like exposure therapy or anything. And, and I didn't know what that was. So clearly, although she may have suspected it, perhaps she wasn't coming at it from the, the kind of stuff that I needed to, to move, move things on.
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A
Yeah, yeah, okay, fair enough. And yeah, so your themes of OCD or your worries. So it sounds like, it sounds if you familiar with the, the sort of theme, real event ocd.
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B
Yes.
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A
So it sounds like that. Is that what you're kind of.
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B
Yeah, yeah, certainly one of them was very much related to. Yeah, well, no, all of them in fact related to real event ocd. Yeah, yeah, they, they're all kind of as I Say a lot of them related to things that. Events where something had happened with my child. And I was kind of just ruminating on what I had done wrong specifically, and the whole kind of what ifs and what if that had happened? What if that had happened and how much worse could that have been? And just could not get away from that. And I spent so much time ruminating, obviously in my head with pure. Oh, that's what it's about. And I just couldn't. Just couldn't free myself from it at all. And it just became incredibly difficult to live with to the extent that I was finding, like, family life just difficult just trying to be supportive to my kids and my partner not being there. So although I can talk to him every day, it wasn't obviously not the same as being in the room with somebody. And I also hadn't realized that over the years where I'd kept asking him for help, that was obviously reassurance seeking, which is absolutely the worst thing that you could be doing. And, yeah, so that. That was all kind of very, very difficult. And I think that, yeah, by. By the beginning of this year, I was just in a place where I was just feeling really desperate, actually. I was kind of thinking, oh, my goodness, what. What is there that's gonna. That can change things for me? I was feeling really, really low.
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A
Yeah, yeah, I bet. I bet you.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Yeah, that's the there that's. Well, with all compulsions, but rumination especially, we can. We get. What should I say? We spiral down more and more and more because we get more and more confused the more we ruminate, and it can really make people hopeless or feel hopeless. Okay, good. I'm glad you got the help. So just before we go on that. So you mentioned your partner and obviously all the reassurance maybe over the years. How did he manage that over the years? Did he clock on of like, maybe this isn't okay? Or. In terms of.
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B
I think when we first met, he. I'm not sure. He. He. He recognized that I was obviously somebody that was incredibly anxious and incredibly worried about him leaving me. And I think that that probably relates back to my kind of early childhood, that part of it. But I would get. I remember getting very, very stuck on something that he said very early on in the relationship. And now I can clearly see that that was like, OCD again, that I couldn't let go of. You know what he. You know, something about meeting a friend of mine, and I got that into my head that, oh, no, that's it. He's not interested in me. That. And I, I was kind of stuck in that loop for. For months and months and months and months. And I think he was, he was incredibly, always has been incredibly understanding. But I think as soon as we started to do a bit more research at the start of this year to try and really find somebody that was an OC specialist, I think as soon as he. I started to pass on my kind of notes that I'd been getting from the start of the therapy because I was working from kind of a. A course really. And as soon as I started to hand him those notes or explain to him what my sessions were, he was, he was just like a kind of aha moment because he was like, oh yeah, that's obvious. That's exactly what. What you were have been like this whole time. And it was really good from his point of view to get the. When I would say to him, I, you know, all those times I was asking you to tell me that I'm okay, that I haven't done anything wrong, that to go over the circumstances of the story again and again and again and again. And I think it was kind of a relief for him as well to be able to have me say, you can't do that anymore. I can't ask you for reassurance. That's not going to help. And because it must have been. Well, I know it has been an awful lot of stress on him over the years, but thankfully, very, very understanding. Lucky me.
- [13:21]
A
Yeah, that's great that he, once he learned it, he took it on board and then doesn't give the reassurance and all of that. And so obviously. Yeah, you mentioned obviously pure O and like a lot of it being rumination. But then you did mention sort of reassurance. But then over the years around your partner or your kids or anything like that, where you were doing other compulsions like avoidance or anything like that.
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B
Oh, I mean, I'm trying to think. I'm not sure whether. Whether I was avoiding at the time. I mean there's one particular memory with my daughter. Sorry. With my son with a push chair and an elevator. And I kind of was more latterly these. These last few years. Really that was a very, very strong rumination and it was very, very difficult to. To start to change my kind of how I related to that until I started exposure work. But I don't remember that being an avoidance thing as I was, as we were kind of going through. It's just more been something that just almost came out of sort of with those particular things out of nowhere Now. I mean I've certainly read about like postpartum OCD where, where that happens kind of quite quickly after you've had your children. But I didn't really experience that so much. It's more that it's come at me kind of in this period of my life.
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A
Yeah. Interesting. You mentioned obviously having OCD experiences earlier on. Were they also around like real event based stuff or were they sort of like other worries?
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B
No, I think it's been all kind of real event ocd. Really. Yeah, I've not, not really. I can't say that I may be a bit of relationship ocd I guess certainly around when I first met my husband. I would say that was true. Yeah.
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A
Yeah, yeah. Okay. So yeah, the brain sort of constantly looking for reasons why you've messed up or done something wrong or bad or not good enough or.
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B
Absolutely. Yeah, very much that. I mean the not good enough thing I think has been extremely prevalent. Yeah. For a very, very long time. So it's, that's been part of the work working on my kind of the way that I see myself being kinder to myself, understanding what my values are, all that kind of stuff.
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A
Okay, excellent. Okay, so let's, let's talk about the therapy process. So start this year. You found someone. What's that journey been like for you since you discovered that?
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B
Oh, I would say it's been kind of groundbreaking really for me in terms of first of all kind of coming at it from looking at something that was kind of course led, if you like. And then so the content of that was incredibly helpful because it just was very kind of. It just seemed to hit straight away all the things that I'd kind of thought about and, and put them in a way where, you know, it was explaining like on, in graphs, almost like in graphic mode, like. Well, you know, the reason that it's not shifting is because you're just kind of going on this up and down journey, the time and, and that's why it's not changing and then being taken through the kind of how to use the exposure work to start to really go towards the OCD rather than away. I think I spent so much time just thinking. I think because previous to the sort of outbreak, the really bad outbreak of it that I've had the last couple of years, I kept thinking it's going to go away, it's going to go away. It has before I've been able to push it out and it's, you know, been put back into Its box. And I just. Because then it had been going on for so long this time I just was in such a state because I was just thinking, this is never going to go away. And when I got to the. The sort of. Yeah, you starting to use the exposure stuff, it was so alien to begin with. The whole idea of actually going towards the fears and the. Oh, it was just. Oh, horrible to start with. I mean, even. Because as well as the course it was getting onto the group calls. And I have to say, to start with, I was absolutely terrified about that prospect. The very idea of sitting in front of. Although it was remote, but still it's essentially sitting in front of, you know, four or five other people and you have to sit there and explain the kind of stuff that you just didn't really want to tell anybody. I mean, the only person I told at that point about the things that I was having the ruminations about was my partner. So, yeah, actually sitting there and having to kind of divulge all of that to kind of essentially someone you might meet in the street, it was terrifying to begin with. In fact, I remember the first. I don't know, three or four sessions and I was. I just couldn't get the words out. And fortunately I wasn't sort of pushed to do it straight away, so I had a bit of time to acclimatize to the environment, if you like, but. But then when I did go to do it, it was kind of. It was really, really frightening, but at the same time a relief because it was just. I've got it out there now. It's kind of. Right now I've really got to start to. To go towards this and deal with it because other people have heard it and. But also the experience of that was kind of. You think that the things that you're thinking are just the worst things ever. And how can I tell people that? Because what are they going to think of me? And actually, you very quickly start to realize that. That every person on that call has their own story, has their own thing that's going on with them and that in actual fact, whatever, any of them. And they're in a completely supportive, kind environment and whatever it is they're going to say you. Everyone is accepting of that. They. They don't. No one's there to make a judgment. You know, that's. That's not what the. The whole thing is about. And, And I kind of wish that I'd known. I mean, I've known of group therapy, but I think I was so frightened before to even think about doing it. But because I'd gotten to such a low place, it was like, oh, this, this has just got to be it. It's because it's like all or nothing. I've got to do it because something's needs to change here. And I'm so glad that I did because it was just kind of a revelation. Not. I wasn't immediate. It took a long time, especially the exposure work was essential to that. And I really had to be very kind of on it all the time and very purposeful about it to the extent where whatever exposure I worked out, it was kind of a case of using sort of two sets of forms to kind of write down what the exposure was, how long I was going to do each exposure, what my kind of. And then rating, you know, what happened before it, what happened after it. And just by doing those over and over a period of months really that, that's when sort of incrementally things started to shift. But still it's taken, it's taken a long time and a lot of hard work this year, but I've sort of finally now starting to. To see the kind of the bulbs coming up out of the soil kind of moment. It sort of starting to see the changes which, which is really a really good feeling.
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A
Absolutely. Yeah. The fruits of your labor.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And in, in the, the group calls, were they with the same people? Every core. Did it mix up?
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B
It was kind of a bit of both. I mean I would say that there were kind of sort of three of us that were kind of core members if you like. That's what it ended up being anyway over the sort of six month period. And then you'd have some, some other people kind of joining more laterally and that was, it was. It was strange actually. It was almost like the. The sort of three of us kind of became really kind of, kind of felt like you've made a real bond. I know when, when one, one person left after a while and, and it was kind of a. It's a weird thing because you're, you're, you're on. You're knowing and understanding a lot more about those people than probably some of the people that are closer to them in their everyday life and you. Things that they wouldn't dream of telling anybody else. So you, it's quite a strange bond actually. But it, it's. But it's a really good one because you kind of at the end of the day they're the people that really understand what OCD is. They Understand what it feels like. They know how like sometimes, you know, I could be on the call feeling really upset or someone else can be on the call feeling really upset and, and you can see it in their eyes. And you kind of. Of. Yeah, you, you just want to be there for each other as well. That's really powerful, actually.
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A
Yeah, no, it absolutely is. And I think that is a real plus to group therapy, obviously. As long as it's, you know, a well managed group, it's a kind, supportive group like you've already said. Then I think it, that's a, a great element. You weren't necessarily getting one to one therapy is that like, like interpersonal relationships. But what made you decide to go the group route and community route versus like a one to one route.
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B
If I'm honest about. Well, I guess I've done quite a bit of one to one group. Sorry, one to one therapy over the years in different guises, admittedly, but, but I'd done that. I think having come across the therapist that, that I had, she was kind of advocating for this group group work model. So it was more a case of kind of. Well, this is, this is the option that you've got here with me. What do you think about trying it? And I like, I say I think I was in such a place that I kind of tried so many different things. Like why not, why not give it a go? I mean, if it's not going to work out, it's not going to work out, but you got to try it.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And that's actually one of the best things I've ever done, so. Yeah.
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A
Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad. And, and who's the therapist?
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B
Katie. Katie Das.
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A
Cool. Yeah. Katie's been on the show before.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Yeah, A long time ago now, but she's. Yeah, I like Katie.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Okay. And she was obviously on the group calls as well.
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B
Absolutely. Well, she's kind of. Yeah. Running the whole show kind of thing, so. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
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A
Okay. Excellent. And, and obviously, you know, you said rumination has been a big part of this for you. What was useful either in like the group sessions or in like the psycho education part of what Katie does, that helped you with the rumination side of things.
- [24:32]
B
So I guess the like going back to the exposure work, that was the way of kind of like looking at the ruminations and sort of taking the rumination and then thinking, okay, what, what from this can we make into an exposure? And then from the exposures then sort of working on, you know, like just being Very kind of having them in every part of your day. Whether it's like a. Could be any kind of exposure, reading some material or it could be making a loop recording that I had loop recordings playing on my headphones while I'd be preparing the dinner. All kinds of different exerc that the just really sort of shifted the going towards. Going towards it rather than retreating, avoiding, trying to reason with it. All that time that I spent trying to do that. I mean, of course when you first start doing the exposures, it actually she clearly explained that when you do that it starts to make it, you know, to start with a lot worse. So you kind of have to prepare yourself mentally and kind of think, well it's going to get. Get worse before it gets better. But yeah, that was kind of massively helpful to realize that though, because then you're kind of prepared for. Okay, I know that I've got to put this work in with the view that longer term it's going to stop you from doing the whole spiraling and up and down stuff and gradually over time you're going to get to a place where you're hopefully a bit steadier and you know, and. And that's sort of proven to be the case.
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A
Yeah, excellent. So yeah, going after it and with the loop tapes, sort of a technical question. What did you use to record and replay those?
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B
Oh, I just did it on my phone. There's quite a lot of different apps out there that you can use to just make recordings. I mean, I did all kinds of stuff. I made up a song along like one of the lines of my exposures, kind of using elements of the rumination and then I would just, yeah, be having that playing on my headphones while I was walking around and stuff. So.
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A
Yeah, okay, cool. I like that. Driving on the group where what. What do you think people should know about groups or your experience or like what they need to have in their mind going into it or. Yeah.
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B
I think go in there yourself with the view to being as honest as you can be. Not that you shouldn't. You don't want to be in a place where you feel pressured. But at the same time, if you're going to do that then, then go in there and in your own time kind of be be able to. To let it out, let out what's in there even. Because the other people that are there, they're there to. Because they're in a. In a bad place too and they. The only way that you're going to be able to help yourself is by being honest and trying not to hold back what's, what it is that's kind of really bothering you because you're not going to be, you're not going to be judged. I mean, obviously you start to have ruminations that you're going to be judged. That's kind of part of it. But, but, but you won't. I don't. You're not, you're not going to be. So I think that's the first thing I'd say the second thing is it just really helps, I think, to know that there are other people out there that, that have ocd. I mean, I know that sounds like an obvious thing, but it isn't. When you, when you, when you realize that that's what you've got and if everyone immediately around you, you don't know of anybody that has it and you're suffering in silence, really, it's not like you've got a broken arm or a, you know, someone can't. Someone can see that. But if it's something that you, that you're holding inside all the time, it just really helps to know that there are other people out there and that they're going through the same stuff. And, you know, I mean, also what is quite unusual was quite unexpected was that sometimes that kind of created a sort of humor as well within the group. So, you know, you could get people on there saying, oh, I'm having a really crappy day. And, you know, and that sort of turns into a kind of bit of humor sometimes and kind of takes the sting out of it a bit too. And, and just, yeah, again, that, that realization that you're actually not in it alone. The, the. And, and people are really, People are really kind mostly actually, because once you, if you're on there one day and you say, I'm having a better day and this is going well, and someone, you know, most likely will say, you know, and though we're not supposed to be giving reassurance, but we're allowed to be supportive and we're allowed to say, you know, well done. You, you, you should feel really proud of yourself. You know, you've, you've, you've done that bit really well or you've dealt with that really well. And, and that just really, really helps because you don't get that elsewhere in your, in your sort of nor. And that's massively helpful. It really is.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Yeah.
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A
100 agree with that.
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B
Yeah.
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A
It's kind of like group therapy is like, it's like therapy. Where is Therapy, you know, I mean it's like one to one therapy plus a support group mixed in.
- [30:04]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, There was, I mean there was something that I did. I actually do photography as a hobby and as part of that we were asked to put together a project on. I can't remember what the theme was, but anyway, I decided to actually do that on, on my ocd and in doing that, so I put together like a series of photographs that illustrated sort of partly my kind of what I was doing through my therapy. Explaining to. It was the kind of thing where I wanted to be able to explain to lay people what what oc. Pure OCD was. So I put together the, the photographs and, and then put it to music. So essentially like a kind of little film really. And, and I decided to show that to my photography group because we kind of were doing it as a presentation thing and, and also I showed it to my OCD group. But showing it to the photography group was such a good thing. I think it was like one of those kind of things that just move things again a little bit for me because it was kind of. I had to put together, okay, this is what I'm doing and this is what OCD feels like. This is what it looks like for me. And I kind of, in showing that to my photography group, they were all kind of just a bit blown away actually. It was really nice to kind of hear their reactions. They were just kind of. We didn't know anything about that. You've kind of. I'm going to go and look up now what, what OCD is, because I had no. They just thought like most people do, it's, you know, a proclivity to trying to be clean and tidy all the time or something on, you know, washing hands. But I think it was a real eye opener for them. They were kind of, oh, wow, right. So this is what it's about. And, and it's almost like it's quite weird because they would kind of saying, well, we'd have no idea that that was going on for you. And, and you know, when I explained the numbers of people involved, you know, that have OCD and how it can reach out into every kind of theme imaginable, it was really, yeah. Really good to sort of hear their reactions and get it out there that this is, this is a real thing for a lot of people. And actually you might know people in your life that, that are dealing with this. You're just not aware of it. So yeah, that was kind of a weird kind of crossover between Things that I really enjoy doing. And also that's like in trying to kind of manage the ocd, it's all about trying to carry on going towards your life, living your life, despite the OCD being there. So that's why like photography and art for me are massively important because they kind of. The photography in that instance was an absolute outlet for it. And, and I think I've got some ideas going forward that I've spoken to Katie about about trying to put together some more photography or film based stuff around the sort of power, power of group therapy really. Because I think that if people coming to that kind of stuff or they've got OCD and they really want to change something and they just think I can't, I can't imagine going into a group and telling people what's going on. I just like to put out there that it can be done and you know, and it may really, really shift the dial for you.
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A
So yeah, that's really good and I'm glad that it resonated with the photography group. Yeah. I mean creative ways of talking about OCD are really good because it, it's less intense for those that don't have ocd. Yes. Because it allows them to like take it on board, I think easier.
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B
And.
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A
Yeah. So, okay, so words of hope for anyone listening. You've given plenty already. But more if I ask it specifically. Yeah. What would you say?
- [33:58]
B
I would say the. That it's possible to recover obviously from one. Obviously. But it is possible to recover from ocd. I think though, and this is something that I was actually on a therapy call yesterday and was the first one I've been on for about a month and I've actually been having a really good, probably the best sort of, I would say three or four weeks of this entire year, these last few weeks. And I was trying to say, trying to explain to the group that I think the reason for that is that I've finally gotten to a place now where I've kind of accepted the OCD and, and been able to reframe it and say, okay, the OCD is probably always going to be there. It's kind of in the background. Sometimes it's going to be very loud and sometimes it will be much, much quieter or almost silent. And either way I've got to carry on living my life. I've got to do all the things I really enjoy doing and go towards all that, regardless of whether it is loud or whether it is quiet. And I think the more it's like everything with ocd, the more you can go towards it, the more you can accept it, the quieter it becomes. The, the more it starts to take up, you know, a place very much in the background or almost out door and down the hill and across the meadows and so on. You know, the more you, the more you push, the harder it is, the more you sit back and accept and relax and well, relax sounds, you know, it's not that easy but the more you can accept it and sit with it, the more, the more it goes away. And it's. Yeah. Much more of a background thing. But I think, yeah, actually being able to finally accept that all that time that I was trying to get, go run away from it or push it away was just utterly counterproductive. And, but it's taken a long time to, to kind of get that realization. But, but I think from a hopeful point of view, I just say that, you know, I've managed to do it and I, and I've seen other people in my, in my group call and my group therapy that they're managing to do it. So there's every reason to be hopeful, I think.
- [36:20]
A
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And let's say you pick up the phone and call the 20 year old you. What would you tell her?
- [36:29]
B
Yeah, I think just to be accepting of yourself and to, to recognize that you don't have to be the most confident person in the room, the loudest person in the room, that it's all, it's okay to be, you know, more reserved maybe and accept that the anxiety. Yeah. Is part of you, but it's not, it isn't who you are. It's. You have all these other things inside of you that, that you can run with and the things that other people are going to like and that you've got potential that you don't, you don't have to have realized at 20 or even at 40. But now I'm kind of in the position in my 50s where I'm coming into my own again and, and starting to grow, you know, although I've got children that are older now, but I'm starting to get into all the things that I really enjoy doing and love doing and I think that's what I tell my 20 year old self, you know, keep going things, things can get better and things can always change. That's the other thing. Things do always change.
- [37:34]
A
Absolutely. Yeah. Spot on. And you got a billboard. What do you want written on that billboard? Oh my God, it could be anything.
- [37:44]
B
Oh, well, that's a toughie. Things will pass Yeah, I think, yeah, yeah.
- [37:59]
A
That's relevant to all people. Right?
- [38:01]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [38:03]
A
This too shall pass.
- [38:04]
B
Yes.
- [38:05]
A
Yeah. Nice. And lastly, is there anything else you wish you could have said or shared today?
- [38:26]
B
I think I would say think carefully about who you are going to. To get therapy, because I've gone. I feel like I've spent a bit too many times going down the wrong roads. So that's to say, so do your researches a bit first about what it is you really need help with. So if you suspect that it's ocd, but you're not entirely sure, treat it as if it is. So look for somebody that's an OCD specialist rather than possibly somebody that's, you know, like a talking therapy. Because I think if you, if you, if you can find the right person, also, you've got to find the person that you hit it off with as well. It's got to be somebody that you can relate to and, and they kind of get you because that. That really helps too. But if you. If you can find the right OCD therapist who's a specialist in that area, then they're the ones that are going to be able to. Yeah. Change things for you, I think, because they'll, they'll know, they'll understand what it is and, and they'll give you the. The tools that you need to. To be able to manage it and. Yeah. Start to recover, basically.
- [39:46]
A
Yeah. Wise words. Well, look, thank you so much for coming on, sharing your story. It's great to hear it and I'm happy to hear. Obviously, therapy was successful. Helpful.
- [39:57]
B
Yeah.
- [39:58]
A
Yeah.
- [39:59]
B
Okay. Thanks very much. Thank you.
- [40:01]
A
Thank you for listening to this week's podcast. And thank you to our Patreons who helped make this episode possible. And if you would like to find out more about Patreon and the rewards and benefits, then there will be a link in the episode description. If you enjoy the OCD Stories podcast and would like to support us, please subscribe and rate the show wherever you listen to the podcast. And thank you to NOCD for supporting our work. If you want to find out more about nocd, you can click the link in the episode description and quick disclaimer. Guys, this podcast is not therapy. It is not a replacement for therapy. Please seek treatment from a trained professional. And until we speak, take care.