The OCD Stories – Ep516: Emma (Group therapy, OCD around parenting, "Real event" OCD)

Podcast: The OCD Stories
Host: Stuart Ralph
Guest: Emma
Date: December 14, 2025

Episode Overview

In this intimate episode, Stuart Ralph interviews Emma as she shares her OCD journey, with special focus on how OCD impacted her as a parent, her experiences with real event OCD, and the transformative power of group therapy. Emma candidly discusses living with OCD for decades before finding the right support, her struggles with rumination and shame, the importance of creativity in her healing process, and practical advice for others on the path to recovery.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Emma’s OCD Story: Early Signs, Recognition, and Evolution

• Early Experiences: Emma reflects that OCD tendencies were present in childhood, but not recognized until much later.
  • “I guess my OCD has been there pretty much… my whole adult life really. Although whether I would have identified it as such, probably not.” (01:43)
• First Awareness: Only in her early 40s, during a challenging period of solo parenting, did Emma recognize her thoughts as problematic.
  • OCD themes revolved around her competence and goodness as a mother, replaying decisions and perceived failures (03:35).
• Unhelpful Therapy: Initial therapy focused on talking through issues, which did not target OCD specifically and at times aggravated rumination (06:58).
• Turning Point: Persistent symptoms led Emma to seek OCD-specific therapy, marking the start of meaningful change (07:48).

2. Navigating OCD Themes: Parenting and Real Event OCD

• Real Event OCD: Emma’s primary struggle involved obsessing over actual past events with her children, replaying “what ifs” and feelings of guilt.
  • "All of them in fact related to real event OCD… Events where something had happened with my child... could not get away from that” (08:41).
• Rumination & Reassurance: She describes getting trapped in unending loops, seeking comfort from her partner, and realizing this was a compulsion in itself.
  • "I also hadn't realized that over the years… that was obviously reassurance seeking, which is absolutely the worst thing that you could be doing." (09:33)
• Impact on Family: OCD strained her relationship and made family life “incredibly difficult to live with” (09:52).

3. Journey with Group Therapy

• Finding Group Therapy: After years of minimal progress, Emma joined a group led by specialist therapist Katie Das—an unfamiliar, initially intimidating step.
  • “The very idea of sitting... in front of 4 or 5 other people and you have to sit there and explain the kind of stuff that you just didn't want to tell anybody... terrifying to begin with.” (16:40)
• The Group Experience:
  • Initial fear gave way to relief and deep connection.
  • Realized everyone carried their own burdens and that judgment was absent.
  • Describes a unique, supportive bond: “You’re knowing and understanding a lot more about those people than probably some of the people that are closer to them in their everyday life...” (21:18)
  • Unexpected humor and mutual encouragement became part of the healing process.

4. OCD-Specific Strategies: Exposures, Rumination, and Psychoeducation

• Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): For the first time, Emma began facing her fears rather than avoiding them.
  • “It was so alien to begin with… actually going towards the fears... oh, horrible to start with.” (16:35)
• Practical Tools:
  • Used structured exposure exercises: setting tasks, tracking anxiety before/after.
  • Created looped audio recordings and even a song with her rumination themes, playing them during routine activities for graded exposure (26:29).
• Psychoeducation: Provided clarity about rumination, reassurance, and how avoidance perpetuated OCD.

5. Creativity and Advocacy

• Photography as Outlet: Emma merged her hobby with advocacy by creating a photo project about OCD for her local group.
  • “I put together a series of photographs that illustrated… what OCD feels like for me. In showing that to my photography group, they were just a bit blown away.” (30:04)
• Changing Perceptions: Helped others understand OCD’s realities and inspired her to create more art-based advocacy projects.

6. Personal Growth, Acceptance, and Hope

• Newfound Acceptance: Emma’s outlook shifted from desperate struggle to acceptance and self-kindness.
  • "I've finally gotten to a place now where I've kind of accepted the OCD... it's probably always going to be there... Sometimes it's going to be very loud and sometimes it'll be much quieter... Either way I've got to carry on living my life." (33:58)
• Advice to Her Younger Self: Emphasizes self-acceptance, patience, and that healing and growth remain possible at any age (36:28).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Realities of OCD and Rumination
  "With rumination especially, we get... we spiral down more and more because we get more and more confused the more we ruminate, and it can really make people hopeless." – Stuart Ralph (10:32)

• Describing the Impact of Group Therapy
  "Everyone is accepting... No one's there to make a judgment... Whatever it is they're going to say... they’re in a completely supportive, kind environment." – Emma (16:40)

• On Going Towards Fear
  “The whole idea of actually going towards the fears... oh, it was just... horrible to start with... but then when I did go to do it, it was kind of... really, really frightening, but at the same time a relief.” – Emma (16:35–17:15)

• Group Therapy vs. Individual Therapy
  "Group therapy is like therapy… plus a support group mixed in." – Stuart Ralph (29:54)

• Words of Hope
  "It's possible to recover from OCD... The more you go towards it, the more you can accept it, the quieter it becomes." – Emma (33:58)

• To Her Younger Self
  “You don't have to be the most confident person in the room... Accept that the anxiety is part of you, but it's not who you are... Things do always change.” – Emma (36:28)

• If She Had a Billboard
  "Things will pass." – Emma (37:44)

• Final Wisdom
  “Think carefully about who you are going to, to get therapy... If you can find the right OCD therapist who's a specialist in that area, then they're the ones that… will give you the tools you need to manage it and... start to recover.” – Emma (38:26)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:43 – Emma recalls early signs of OCD and lack of awareness
• 03:35 – First realization of a problem in her 40s
• 08:41 – Real event OCD and parenting triggers
• 11:09 – Partner’s experience and reassurance seeking
• 15:01 – OCD themes over the years
• 16:35 – First exposure to ERP and group therapy
• 21:18 – Deep bonds and support in group therapy
• 24:32 – Using exposures, looped recordings, and psychoeducation
• 27:12 – Advice for prospective group therapy participants
• 30:04 – Photography as a therapeutic and advocacy tool
• 33:58 – Acceptance, hope, and the path to recovery
• 36:28 – Advice to her 20-year-old self and “things do always change”
• 37:44 – “Things will pass” billboard
• 38:26 – Advice on choosing the right therapist

Takeaways

• Specialized, Evidence-Based Help Matters: Targeted OCD therapy and ERP, especially with a skilled specialist, can be transformative when general talk therapy may not help.
• Group Therapy Offers Unique Healing: Sharing experiences in a safe, accepting group can provide validation, diminish shame, and accelerate recovery.
• Recovery is Non-Linear: Finding acceptance—rather than fighting for a cure—helps manage OCD and restores quality of life.
• Creativity Can Be Healing: Using personal interests, like photography, can be meaningful outlets and help educate others.
• There is Hope: Recovery is possible, regardless of how long you’ve struggled or your age.

Final Words

Emma’s story highlights the many faces of OCD—its unique impact on parenting and identity, the ways it covertly shapes our lives, and the importance of compassion, persistence, and community in finding a way through. Her journey offers hope and practical advice for anyone navigating OCD.