Podcast Summary: The OCD Stories – Episode #521: Regan (Harm and Contamination OCD, Panic Attacks)
Release Date: January 18, 2026
Host: Stuart Ralph
Guest: Regan

Episode Overview

In this episode, Stuart Ralph welcomes Regan, who shares her deeply personal journey of living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)—primarily harm and contamination themes—as well as her experiences with panic attacks, international relocation in adolescence, and the ongoing process of seeking understanding and management through therapy. The conversation is candid, insightful, and filled with practical wisdom and hope for listeners navigating their own mental health journeys.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Regan’s OCD Journey: Early Signs, Misdiagnoses, and the Road to Diagnosis

• Childhood Behaviors & Misunderstandings
  • Regan reflects that OCD has been present for as long as she can remember, though she didn’t receive a formal diagnosis until her early twenties.
  • “I look back on it now as behaviors that I had as a child. I'm like, oh my God, wow, OCD.” (02:00)
• Adolescent Move from England to America
  • Regan moved from the UK to the US at age 12-13, a transition she describes as a major culture shock that impacted her mental health significantly.
  • "People think it's the same. Very big culture shock, very big difference." (03:44)
• Early Panic Attacks and Therapy
  • Her first mental health struggles manifested as severe panic attacks during high school in the US, leading her into therapy.
  • “I started having panic attacks, which were really severe. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night having a panic attack, which is quite an experience. I would shake really violently...” (05:02)
• Misdiagnosis and Journey to OCD Insight
  • Initially misdiagnosed and treated for panic disorder, anxiety, and even considered bipolar disorder, OCD only became a consideration when a therapist recognized her checking and contamination behaviors.

The Nuances of Her OCD: Harm & Contamination Themes

• Harm OCD
  • Regan describes constant mental checking, such as worrying she’d unknowingly harmed others while driving ("I couldn't drive anywhere without checking my vehicle repeatedly when I got out and before I started driving." (07:33)).
• Contamination OCD
  • Later, compulsive house cleaning with harsh chemicals, avoidance of public spaces and friends’ houses, and negative impacts on her daily living surfaced.

Therapy & Healing: Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), Medication, and Support

• Finding the Right Therapy
  • A new therapist introduced her to OCD assessment, leading to proper diagnosis and targeted ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy.
  • “Being diagnosed with OCD, while it's like, oh my God, I have OCD, it's also like, oh my God, I have OCD. That makes so much sense.” (09:44)
• ERP in Practice
  • Currently working on contamination OCD through gradual exposure tasks, such as tolerating dirty dishes or cat litter tracked around her apartment.
  • “The approach that my therapist and I take for exposure therapy is really graduated because we don't want to start with the most stressful things first.” (16:15)
• Medication
  • Regan notes the importance of psychiatric medication as part of her ongoing care.

The Role of Relationships & Support Systems

• Her Partner’s Support
  • Her boyfriend is described as exceptionally supportive and knowledgeable about OCD, serving as a calming presence and resisting unhelpful reassurance.
  • “He listens to me, especially when I'm going through... When my stress peaks, my OCD also kind of peaks... He's honestly my rock.” (18:46, 19:16)
• Reassurance Seeking
  • Regan acknowledges the challenge of seeking reassurance from loved ones and working together to break these patterns.
  • “I've been like, hey, if you reassure me, it's not helping me. It's actually hindering the progress.” (20:35)
• Grounding Techniques
  • Highlights tools like box breathing and using the five senses as vital self-regulation strategies, especially at night when OCD urges are strongest.
  • “Regulating breathing is really grounding for me... naming things I see, hear—it's based on the five senses. I find that so helpful, especially when my OCD tends to peak at night.” (24:00)

The Emotional Companion: Her Cat, Minerva

• Therapeutic Pet Presence
  • Her rescue cat, Minerva, provides emotional support, physical comfort, and distraction from compulsions.
  • “Listening to a cat purr is like one of the best things... She's really loving... The act of taking care of something also I think is really important.” (26:12, 27:40)

Challenges and Breakthroughs in OCD Recovery

• Roadblocks
  • Stressful life events, work demands (she works as a cybersecurity engineer), and prioritizing others’ needs often derail her progress with ERP.
  • Initial hesitance to label her behaviors as OCD, seeing them as productive or normal.
  • “I was kind of in denial when I first got my diagnosis... I don't need to do any of this therapy; why do I have to clinicalize... what I consider normal behavior?” (29:50)
• Light-Bulb Moments
  • The realization that part of her resistance to therapy was due to identity entanglement:
  • “‘Maybe you’re resistant to OCD treatment… because you view OCD as being part of your identity.’ And I was like, oh my god. Firstly, how dare you? And secondly, what a good point.” (32:13)

Memorable Quotes

• On Diagnosis & Relief:
  • "Being diagnosed with OCD, while it's like, oh my God, I have OCD, it's also like, oh my God, I have OCD. That makes so much sense." (09:44)
• On Harm OCD:
  • “To me, that was just me being a really conscious driver...but it would take me like an extra 30 minutes to go anywhere.” (07:33)
• On Her Partner:
  • “He's honestly my rock. He's very good at kind of like steering away from [reassurance]. But it’s so hard even for me.” (19:16, 21:36)
• On Identity and OCD:
  • “It's so built into my behavior and so defining of things that I think I care about that I'm like, well, yeah, of course it's part of my identity.” (32:45)
• Advice to Listeners:
  • “You are not your thought. Something that OCD does to people is they can get really horrible...thoughts about really awful things...you're not a bad person for having thought[s] that you cannot control.” (36:30)
• What She Would Tell Her 14-Year-Old Self:
  • “Things are much less of a big deal than you think they are. The world isn’t ending over minor, minor inconveniences.” (38:50)
• Her Billboard:
  • “Give yourself some grace and some empathy and some forgiveness.” (40:15)

Important Timestamps

• 00:00-01:42 – Introduction; Regan begins her OCD story
• 02:00-03:44 – Childhood OCD and moving from the UK to the US
• 05:02-08:45 – Panic attacks, misdiagnoses, manifestation of OCD in late adolescence
• 09:44 – Receiving an OCD diagnosis: relief and clarity
• 13:25-15:00 – Retrospective look at OCD in childhood (“harm” and “relationship” OCD)
• 16:00-17:35 – Current ERP work: contaminated environments and cat-related compulsions
• 18:40-21:36 – Partner’s role: listening, grounding, avoiding reassurance
• 22:21-25:01 – Grounding techniques: box breathing and sensory checks
• 26:12-28:39 – The therapeutic role of her cat, Minerva
• 28:55-31:52 – Recovery roadblocks: stress, denial, external pressures
• 32:06-35:44 – Light-bulb moments and untangling OCD from identity
• 35:53-38:11 – Words of hope for listeners: “You are not your thoughts”
• 38:26-40:07 – Advice to teenage self after moving countries
• 40:15 – Billboard message: “Show yourself some grace and empathy”

Closing Thoughts

Regan’s honesty about both the hardships and healing of OCD offers practical hope for listeners. She emphasizes the value of professional support, the realities of setbacks, and the ongoing nature of recovery, alongside heartfelt reminders that intrusive thoughts do not define one’s worth. Her advice to extend self-forgiveness and empathy shines as a reassuring message to anyone struggling with OCD or related mental health challenges.