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Christina Orlova
Welcome to the OCD Whisper podcast. If you find these conversations helpful or grounding, please subscribe so you don't miss an episode. So today, guys, I'm joined by Betty Flores from Perinatal Wellness. Welcome to the show, Betty.
Betty Flores
Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
Christina Orlova
Me too. And I know you and I spoke a little bit before about how did you even get into Perinatal Wellness at all? And you kind of shared a little bit with me that you have. It's a bit personal for you, so would love to hear a little bit about your own story.
Betty Flores
Yes. Thanks so much and happy to talk about that piece as well.
Christina Orlova
Hi, I'm Christina Orlova, host of the OCD Whisperer podcast. As someone who lives with ocd, I understand the struggles firsthand. If you're here, you're not alone. This is before we start, grab your free OCD survival kit at www.corresults.com to help you take control. That's K O R results.com now let's dive into today's episode.
Betty Flores
Really the biggest thing was I had experienced my own perinatal ocd, Jo, during my first postpartum that I missed as a therapist, not recognizing that it was ocd. And also that had been missed from my established therapist as well, along with her kind of minimizing some symptoms. And so prior to even getting into this space, I was a therapist at an inpatient psychiatric hospital where I did child and adolescent work and focus. And then once I had my own experience and had this experience with my previous therapist, I was like, oh my gosh, there has to be something better. There has to be something more. And so it wasn't actually until my second pregnancy where I was like, there, I want this experience to be better because I essentially like stopped seeing that therapist after they made some invalidating comments and white knuckled the rest of my postpartum experience that then I went through and googled postpartum specialty training or something and came across postpartum part of Supports International. They have a two day training and then they have an advanced training. And I did all of that during my second pregnancy and recognized in hindsight that I was like, oh my gosh. Those were, you know, intrusive thoughts and images. And mine were kind of taboo topics of, like, people sexually harming my baby. Right. And me not noticing that as intrusive. Right. And maybe like more so, like worry of like, yeah, that could happen. Especially as a therapist, as a social worker, I hear so much of that. So why wouldn't my brain go there? Right. But then I was like. And asking for pictures and videos of updates and I'm like, in hindsight, again, the pictures and updates aren't going to help prevent if somebody is actually going to harm my baby. But that's what felt, you know, reassuring or gave me the reassurance. But again, kind of in hindsight, being able to see that as like an OCD cycle also was like, oh my gosh, One, the perinatal piece was missed, and second, like, it wasn't anxiety or normal mom worry, it was ocd. So that's really what pushed me to specialize in perinatal and then even more so to get more specialty and training in ocd.
Christina Orlova
That's. That's quite a story. So it sounds like in your own, like, first. First pregnancy and then really the second, there was more things coming up. And just even through the second, though, it sounds like you didn't quite get the help you were hoping for or needed.
Betty Flores
Yeah. And it was a little bit different. So I was able to get a perinatal trained therapist during my second, but I don't think. And, and it was interesting because the intrusive, like, scary thoughts that we hear about or see in ocd, I did experience them a little bit with my second, but it was more so depression that I experienced with my second, which me and depression aren't friends. I'm anxiety and anxiety girly. So I'm like, when the depression hit, I was like, I don't know what this is, what do I do? But I did feel like I had more tangible tools to be able to, like, support that of like, oh, I keep doing the things that, you know, I do, like go see friends and like, connect and like, move my body, even though I might not feel like it. But I did still experience intrusive thoughts. But I still think that they were missed by the therapist that I was seeing because of maybe questions they weren't asking or.
Christina Orlova
Yeah, yeah, right. Well, yeah, either questions or if somebody isn't trained on that. Right. Because you can have, like. I mean, I don't know, I'm just wondering, like, you know, better with your experience, is it somebody that like, knew OCD but maybe didn't know that type, or is it somebody you think didn't fully maybe know CD as well?
Betty Flores
I think it could have been both. Yeah. Like, they would ask, like, have you had scary thoughts? You know, and it's like, well, what does that even mean? What kind of scary thoughts? You know, and so I Think even, like, just being able to know what questions to ask and ask explicitly. Right. Of being like, have you had thoughts of dropping your baby down the stairs? Have you had thoughts of somebody harming your baby?
Christina Orlova
Right.
Betty Flores
Have you been doing X, Y or Z? Right. And I think a lot of. Maybe some of the thoughts that were coming up even with me at the time with my second, like, that's normal mom worry. You're leaving your child to go on a date and you're worried if they're getting naps, you know, or you're worried if you're the person caring for them, is caring for them appropriately. Right. But it was like the excessive looping and stickiness that was, I think, missed.
Christina Orlova
That's what I was gonna just ask. How. What's the difference? Right? Because you do hear and you know that it's. It really is common for any new parents and just parents in general to worry, Worry about their kids, their health, worry if they might harm them or somebody else or, you know, anything can happen. So what the difference is, I mean, when you're saying sticky or loopy, can you just explain a little bit? Like, what does that actually mean? Yeah.
Betty Flores
So with, like, maybe more normal anxiety or something that isn't ocd, it's like, oh, did I buckle the car seat correctly? Or like, maybe I did leave my baby with childcare, right? Like, are. Are they putting them down for a nap? Are they. You know, are they caring for them as well as I would? And maybe the thought is, like, fleeting. They might check, reassure themselves, and kind of move on. Whereas with OCD is instead of relief, there's like a panic, right. With, like, a repeated checking, avoiding reassurance, researching. And so when I say loop or stickiness, it's like kind of this, like, oh, yeah, I might reassure myself or I might check or I might ask my partner for reassurance. But then it comes back, and then it keeps coming back, and it keeps coming back, and it keeps coming back. I can't get it out of my head type of a thing.
Christina Orlova
Yeah. So it's like you can't move on, right? It's like, no matter what's happening, you're not, like, trusting it. You're not taking it in. You're not actually saying, okay, I get what. What. Just what I heard or what I saw, and I can now move on with life.
Betty Flores
You're.
Christina Orlova
You're basically dismissing all that and continu To.
Betty Flores
Right, right.
Christina Orlova
Doubt and question.
Betty Flores
Totally doesn't. Logic. Logic, brain, doesn't matter with ocd. Right. It's like you could try and logic your way through anything and it's going to be like, nope. But there's still a possibility that something could happen.
Christina Orlova
Yeah, I mean, I think you just said the golden word there. Possibility. Right. OCD is, I mean, I think at the core, we always hear to it referred as, you know, the doubting disease. And I think that's such a poignant way to term it because it's exactly what it is. I mean, you're doubting everything all the time in a, and dare I say, pathological, incessant way. It's not like a normal doubt process. It's like there's something else happening here where we get so taken by the possibility and what could happen. What if this. And totally. So we're teleported to another world.
Betty Flores
Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Christina Orlova
So let me ask you some questions. So this is. I prepare some questions that the audience actually has because I thought, you know, let's also make this a little more interactive with the people. Right. So sometimes there's comments, there's remarks, et cetera. So these are some common things that folks have thrown out there. So since you are a specialist extraordinaire, let's see what you think. So question one is, how do you control OCD during pregnancy?
Betty Flores
Yeah, that's an interesting question. I would say it's not like you can't really control it. It's not something that you control, but I would say that it's something that you can learn and adapt to. Right. So a lot of times parents will be like, well, I just want the thoughts to stop. And it's like, we can't really make the thoughts stop. That's not, like, what we're going for, but it's how we respond to the thoughts. And, like, the less we can pulse, it's actually the less we're in that loop in that cycle. And so I guess by a means of, like, managing it maybe is by getting treatment, which could be. Personally, I have. I have been trained in erp. I have found it helpful and adaptive for new parents. So appropriate treatment through ERP and medication has been a way that a lot of my clients and myself have at least felt some, like, relief and felt like I am now in the driver's seat versus OCD driving the car.
Christina Orlova
Great.
So what about what is postpartum OCD like?
Betty Flores
It's kind of like a lot of, like, what if I can't trust myself? What if I drop the baby? What if? So a lot of what ifs Right. A lot of possibilities. Common themes would be like, harm to the baby. So it could be images, it could be urges, it could be thoughts, and then having to do something, then to feel a sense of reassurance or certainty that that thing isn't going to happen, which is the compulsion. Right. So am I then, for example, if I have the thought, what if I didn't? What if I didn't clip the car seat? Right. Okay, now I'm either checking the car seat multiple times, making sure it's buckled in correctly. Maybe I'm checking the monitor or the rear viewer multiple. Multiple times. Maybe I'm then like, no, I did, I did everything right. I checked X, Y or Z. So it might not even be a physical checking. Maybe I am mentally then checking or telling myself I did everything. So a lot of what ifing and then checking or compulsing to try and decrease that level of anxiety or worry.
Christina Orlova
Well, as you're talking, just to veer off for a second from the questions, I can't help but think of responsibility. Right? Like responsibility just really comes to mind because, I mean, you're a new parent or, I mean, you have this tiny little creature dependent on you and everything about their survival is dependent on you, so how could you not feel overly responsible? Right? So how, how would you. Or what would you say about that in terms of like, what kind of role or how does it blend or what happens with that?
Betty Flores
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think it's definitely tricky one. I would say that like, OCD definitely latches on to the thing that we love, right. Or is most important and definitely shows up in these spaces with big life changes, like becoming a parent. Right. And our responsibility is now to protect this little human. Right? And so I would say one, a lot of times my client will be like, well, isn't this normal? And I was like, no, not everyone experiences these thoughts, right? And if it was normal, everybody would, but they don't, you know, and so I think one, it's normal to have the protective thoughts as becoming a parent. It's the compulsive behavior and the need for certainty and, and trying to create the certainty. And unfortunately, like, you checking the car seat 20 times isn't actually going to prevent harm from happening. Right? You could check it once, twice, maybe even, and then be like, okay, I checked everything looks right, and drive the vehicle.
Christina Orlova
Yeah. I mean, you're also really nimbly. Something pretty important here is the excessiveness, right. It's like somebody might have, let's say that worry or that responsibility feeling. But usually people, on average, maybe once, twice, and then it's enough information, they take it. They trust that. They move on. But the example you just gave, right, it's like, I'm not. I'm not even taking the information in. I'm just doing it, you know, up to 20 times.
Betty Flores
Right.
Christina Orlova
That's why we're like, okay, we've just crossed the line into something else.
Betty Flores
Totally. Totally. And of course we want to keep our baby safe. Right. These little, like, humans that we created. And. And sometimes I would hope so.
Christina Orlova
Yeah.
Betty Flores
Yeah. And so it's like, why wouldn't I do these things, you know? Or why wouldn't. If I could protect them or if I could prevent this thing, why wouldn't I? And I'm like, valid. And you don't need to do it 20 times, you know, for that level that. That's giving you a. Something that I bring up. It's this false, false sense of certainty if I do it just one more time.
Christina Orlova
Well, and it's Exactly. And it's like that discernment, right? It's. It's that ability to recognize what you just said, right. To pause and really think through and. And realize. Wait a second. Yeah. Just because I'm doing it, you know, excessively doesn't mean it's actively actually changing the world at large, because we're not omnipotent like that. I mean, I don't know anybody that's got that kind of power.
Betty Flores
No. Very valid. Yeah. Yep.
Christina Orlova
Right?
Betty Flores
Yeah.
Christina Orlova
Okay, let's go to the next question. So how common is perinatal ocd? Oof.
Betty Flores
That's a great question. And I actually had this come up, and I don't have it off the top of my head. 2 to 3% of parents.
Christina Orlova
So 2 to 3% parents have perinatal OCD. Yeah.
Betty Flores
And I honestly think that that number is actually higher only because I think with a lot of things within the. Within perinatal mental health, there's under. People are under reporting, right? And so a lot of times, like, from what I've seen, like, it's like this hindsight thing or like, I didn't want to tell anybody of that, like, about that situation or those thoughts. Like, I don't know how many people on my platform, friends even reaching out and being like, oh, my gosh, I had postpartum OCD or I had OCD during my pregnancy, you know, and I'm like, yeah. And they're like, I. I thought that these thoughts, you know, meant I wanted to harm my baby. So I never told anyone. I was so nervous and scared, you know, So I think a lot of the times it's that kind of fear of what will come up if I say something.
Christina Orlova
And do you ever find that, like, maybe there's also a confusion or not enough understanding about also, like hormones and yes, you'll have. You'll have hormonal changes, but then even then, how that can amplify kind of already something like OCD if you already have that predisposition?
Betty Flores
Yes, yes, for sure. And I would say, yeah, if you've, if you've experienced OCD prior to pregnancy, postpartum, the likelihood of you experiencing it during pregnancy or postpartum is higher. Yeah, it's definitely a risk factor.
Christina Orlova
Dr. And so one more. Can postpartum OCD turn into psychosis?
Betty Flores
No, there are two. They are two different things. And I think that that's where, you know, just education providers and just individuals in general should have a better understanding of. And there's just a lack of education. Right. So perinatal OCD is intrusive. Unwanted thoughts, images, urges with this, like, high level of distress, urgency to do something. There's really this fear base. Right. Like, I don't want to feel this. I don't want to think these thoughts. I'm really worried.
Christina Orlova
It's.
Betty Flores
The word is ego. Dystonic. Sorry, I lost it for a minute. And so it's not something that aligns with your values or that you want. Right. Whereas psychosis is egosyntonic. There's like a loss of insight, reality testing. You feel like the beliefs are true, they're not intrusive, possible hallucinations, delusions. Right. And so there's like less questioning, more certainty in. In that space.
Christina Orlova
Yeah. I feel, to be honest, that's a question that comes up so much around ocd, period, folks, questioning, am I going to be psychos? Like crazy. Am I going to have psychosis, Will I have schizophrenia, all that kind of stuff. So it's no surprise to me that it comes up here. You know, new with postpartum, I definitely will say I've seen this question time and time again, all the time. And like you said, psychosis and OCD really are different things. And, you know, it's a doubting disease. So if you're doubting and you're constantly, you know, not trusting anything, you start to go into this spiral and loop of. But what if this. What if I could. Well, I can, you know, and you start to look for basic information.
Betty Flores
Yes.
Christina Orlova
Anywhere. And Anyhow, and start to kind of put it together in such a way that it starts to feel real convincing, and it creates feelings. And now you're like, oh, my gosh.
Betty Flores
Right?
Christina Orlova
You know, and so. And here we are. I do want to go back to something earlier that we talked about in the first question, like, how can you control during pregnancy? And I know that you mentioned that, you know, you just say depression at one point. You also, in your story, you mentioned that, you know, you're more anxiety girl, and depression wasn't kind of the thing, and you had to find a way to move, for example, when you didn't feel like moving. So I want to touch on that for a moment, because depression and postpartum depression is definitely something that, you know, is experienced and I think sometimes talked about, sometimes not. But, you know, for anybody, that where that can happen for them and they're suddenly feeling off. Well, what are some of the symptoms they could look for to start to notice? Yes, like, this is a little more than just light little blues or a tough day. And secondly, you know, because as you know, most people are like, oh, okay, I know I should move. It's good for me. But. And so always the question, right?
Betty Flores
How.
Christina Orlova
How can you get. How can you help somebody think through this differently or something, that they can actually take some action?
Betty Flores
So with, like, baby blues, typically, you'll say it's like the first two weeks that we're looking at where it'll be kind of those ups and downs with, like, the big hormonal shift that happens postpartum. But I think the biggest thing, it's like, you might have tears and, like, these bouts of, like, maybe feeling down, but not to the point of, like, hopelessness, worthlessness, withdrawal, and, like, hating your life, wishing things were different, right? So I think, like. Like, there's the little bit difference of, like, depression and baby blues, right? Of being that big shift. And also, like, how consistent is this happening to where is it, like, every day that I'm feeling this, right? Like, every day, like, is it impacting how I'm showing up, what I'm doing, what I typically would be doing, who I would be connecting with? And then, yeah, in regards to, like, the movement, police are doing the things, it's like having somebody also there to support you and be like, we're gonna do this anyway, right? Like, I was very lucky to have a partner to be like, do you need to go out on a walk? You need to go with your friends? Like, you need it, you know? And I got back into. I mean, this is like, you know, once they clear you for the six weeks. But I, I'm a big soccer player and I'd be like, I don't want to go. He's like, I know, but you're gonna go. You know, and like, I just kind of like go through the motions. I mean, like, okay, I felt like better, you know, and being like, I didn't want to do that, you know, in here, I do a lot of prep, if I can get my clients during their pregnancy of being able to review these different things with like depression, psychosis, ocd, bipolar, anxiety, to go over symptom signs, things that can help support and, and ways to pivot or increase support if we need to. And Postpartum Support International is a great website to even go on and see all of the different symptoms and supports as well. It's free and they have a lot of free support groups as well to kind of help buffer that.
Christina Orlova
Love that. Thank you so much for coming on the show, for sharing, for answering the audience's questions. And I always love and people do me the honor of sharing a piece of their story and themselves. Right. It's a vulnerability. It's putting it out there so that others can also relate and recognize. You're definitely not alone.
Betty Flores
Yeah.
Christina Orlova
Well, thank you for coming on the show. I appreciate that.
Betty Flores
Thank you so much. I'm grateful and honored to be here.
Christina Orlova
And anyone who was listening if you found this episode helpful or useful, please remember to subscribe and grow with us.
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Guest: Betty Flores (Perinatal Wellness Specialist)
Release Date: January 2, 2026
This episode of The OCD Whisperer Podcast explores the nuanced differences between perinatal (pregnancy/postpartum) OCD and typical parental anxiety. Host Kristina Orlova welcomes Betty Flores, an expert in perinatal mental health, to share her professional insights and personal experiences with perinatal OCD. They discuss the symptoms, misdiagnoses, lived realities, and treatment options for those struggling with intrusive thoughts during the perinatal window. The episode also addresses several common audience questions about managing OCD as a parent.
“I had experienced my own perinatal OCD during my first postpartum that I missed as a therapist, not recognizing that it was OCD. And also that had been missed from my established therapist as well…” (01:10)
“With OCD…instead of relief, there’s like a panic, with a repeated checking, avoiding, reassurance, researching…you might ask your partner for reassurance, but then it comes back, and it keeps coming back. I can’t get it out of my head.” – Betty (06:01)
“Logic brain doesn’t matter with OCD…But there’s still a possibility that something could happen.” – Betty (07:12)
“If I could protect them or if I could prevent this thing, why wouldn’t I? …And you don’t need to do it 20 times… It’s this false sense of certainty if I do it just one more time.” – Betty (12:35)
“We can’t really make the thoughts stop… but it’s how we respond to the thoughts. ERP and medication has been a way… I am now in the driver’s seat versus OCD driving the car.” – Betty (08:21)
“I think that number is actually higher… A lot of times, I didn’t want to tell anybody about those thoughts…[they] thought these thoughts meant I wanted to harm my baby, so I never told anyone.” – Betty (13:39)
“Perinatal OCD is intrusive, unwanted thoughts…with this high level of distress. The word is ‘ego-dystonic’… Psychosis is egosyntonic…you feel like the beliefs are true, not intrusive, possible hallucinations, delusions.” – Betty (15:37)
“The biggest thing…not to the point of hopelessness, worthlessness, withdrawal, and hating your life…How consistent is this happening?” – Betty (17:55)
“Mine were kind of taboo topics of, like, people sexually harming my baby. …In hindsight …the pictures and updates aren’t going to help prevent if somebody is actually going to harm my baby. …That’s what felt reassuring…[but] being able to see that as like an OCD cycle also was like, oh my gosh.” – Betty (01:10)
"Logic brain doesn’t matter with OCD…you could try and logic your way through anything and it’s going to be like, nope." – Betty (07:12)
“OCD definitely latches on to the thing that we love… And our responsibility is now to protect this little human... It's the compulsive behavior and the need for certainty...checking the car seat 20 times isn’t actually going to prevent harm from happening.” – Betty (10:56)
"OCD is…the doubting disease…it’s exactly what it is…you’re doubting everything all the time in…a pathological, incessant way." – Kristina (07:22)
"Perinatal OCD is intrusive, unwanted thoughts…with this, like, high level of distress, urgency to do something…it's not something that aligns with your values or that you want. Whereas psychosis is egosyntonic… you feel like the beliefs are true, they're not intrusive, possible hallucinations, delusions." – Betty (15:03, 15:37)
Through candid storytelling and clinical knowledge, this episode offers essential guidance on recognizing, managing, and advocating for appropriate care in perinatal OCD. Betty’s vulnerability and Kristina’s expertise make this a valuable listen for anyone navigating parenthood with intrusive thoughts or seeking support for loved ones.