← The OCD Whisperer Podcast with Kristina Orlova
The OCD Whisperer Podcast with Kristina Orlova
OCD Exposed: 10 Myths and Misconceptions about OCD (and what people get wrong)
00:25:06
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- [00:01]
A
Hi, I'm Kristina Orlova, host of the OCD Whisperer podcast. As someone who lives with ocd, I understand the struggles firsthand. If you're here, you're not alone. Before we start, grab your free OCD survival kit at www.corresults.com to help you take control. That's K O R results dot com. Now let's dive into today's episode.
- [00:31]
B
Welcome to OCD Whisper podcast. Today with me, I have Elise. She's back on the show. Guys, Elise, please remind us and everybody listening today a little bit about yourself.
- [00:40]
C
Yeah, it's so good to be here, Christina. Thank you for having me. So I am someone that came to my OCD diagnosis quite late in life. Looking back now, I can remember I might have told the story. Last time I was on the podcast, when I was five, my little brother got lost for, like, 15 minutes. He was two at the time. And I became obsessed with his safety and just started compulsively following him around. That's like the first memory I have of ocd, but it kind of developed into something different a little bit later on that was really just mental compulsions, mental obsessions. Just everything was in my mind. There was no physical element to it. I would have to do these, like, series of mental rituals, and I hit it. I thought my brain was just broken. Honestly, I didn't think that there was any help to be had, and there was no sort of point in telling anyone. So I kind of just struggled through life doing these compulsions, like, on a constant basis until it finally hit a breaking point. And I was actually on a trip to Europe with my partner at the time. And for whatever reason, the compulsions stopped working. And I just kind of fell into a space of being really disassociated and feel like I honestly didn't want to live anymore. And I went to the emergency room and finally had this moment of, like, what do I have to lose by just being honest? Even if this person thinks I'm crazy, like, I have nothing to lose right now. So I told the doctor about my symptoms and my mental compulsions, and she looked at me and said, have you ever considered that you might have ocd? And honestly, there's like, my life before that moment and my life after that moment, and my life after that moment is doing ACT and ERP for recovery, and not only benefiting from those for my ocd, but definitely benefiting in my daily life from using those concepts of facing your fears, accepting your anxiety, feeling your feelings, you know, noticing and naming your thoughts and emotions instead of attaching to them. I've continued to use those concepts in my everyday life, and I think it's applicable for, honestly, everyone. And I think something I've learned from that experience is OCD can show up in so many ways. Right. It's not just these stereotypical depictions that people think of, or everyone's a little ocd, or I'm so ocd. It can be something that is, you know, rumination. It can be these things that we feel like maybe everyone does in some degree, but obviously has gotten to a disordered state. And that's why I decided to write a book about OCD and why I decided to pursue that, because I think there's so many myths out there in the sort of universe about ocd, and there wasn't really one place that you could necessarily go to and pick up, you know, a quick book to kind of just get a primer on, like, what is ocd? Who is struggling with this? What does that look like in reality? And I think a really cool part of the book is it includes survivor stories as well. So I reached out to my Instagram community and got some amazing feedback around different stories that they wanted to tell, and I'm including that in the book. So I think it really humanizes the experience of having ocd, which can be a very dehumanizing experience, as I'm sure you know. And, yeah, I'm really excited to kind of put that resource out into the world and hopefully help people understand that OCD can show up in a myriad of different ways. And just because they don't fit the typical stereotype doesn't mean that it's not something that might be affecting them.
- [04:19]
B
I mean, that's awesome. Thank you so much for just sharing your story a bit more as a kind of refresher for everybody. And I love that you segued into that. This is really what prompted you to create this resource, to really talk a bit more openly and honestly about the myths and misconceptions. So from everything you've seen and heard, what would you say is something that stands out to you that you'd want our listeners to know about? You know, what is a common misconception or myth about OCD that you see time and time again?
- [04:48]
C
Yeah, so I think the. The first. So the book's called OCD Exposed 10 Myths and Misconceptions about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And I think the first myth, which is that OCD is just about being, like, neat and tidy and Wanting order. That has to be the biggest one, right? Like, we've all heard and seen that played out in a million different ways, whether it's on tv, in a movie, in our own lives. I'm sure we all have that experience. I think the media is in large part to blame for that, just with the depictions of OCD always being so sort of exaggerated and used for comedic and amusement effect. And I think that's one that, you know, really, really resonated with the survivors that I talk to, because it's probably the first sort of experience that we all have. Dealing with OCD is like assuming that, oh, yeah, it's just, you know, you like to keep everything in perfect order. You wash your hands compulsively. And for some people, that's the reality. But for so many others, they get caught in this trap of thinking, oh, I can't have ocd, because it's only just that when, you know, in reality, it is so many other things. Right? Like, a bunch of the survivors that I talked to said they had never experienced any sort of contamination. Contamination before, you know, contamination, OCD symptoms before in their lives. I've never experienced that. But that doesn't mean that we don't live with this terrible disorder, right? So I think that's, like, the first and foremost. And then I think another one that really hit home with a lot of people is that this myth around sort of our obsessive thoughts reflecting our true values and desires, that one is huge because it actually is kind of the driver of why we then decide, you know, we need to do these compulsive behaviors. Right? Like, if we knew that these things are not actually a reflection of us, it would be a lot easier to just let them roll off our back. But because we feel like we're responsible for every thought that pops into our head, we then feel a responsibility to do something about these thoughts when they're particularly intrusive and disturbing and upsetting. So I think those two probably stand out the most to me. But I think just the whole landscape of only thinking it's physical, you know, assuming that people will. It will be really obvious if someone has ocd, all those types of things, you know, that's just. It's just not the reality. It wasn't the reality for me, and I know it's not the reality for a ton of other people, too.
- [07:14]
B
Not at all. I mean, my own journey and experience with OCD, 100%. I had no clue what it was, and nobody around me had any clue what it was because you didn't, you didn't know at the time. Yeah, I certainly didn't know this thing called mental rituals even existed. Like, what the heck is that? Right. So, you know, to your point, I think you're right in that traditionally what's shared are, I think, kind of the most common ways OCD manifests. Just because it seems like that shows up, I guess, more often from the data we have so far. However, having said that. Right. I don't know if we have really good data and all the different ways that OCD shows up because we, I think, even in the field didn't. I think we've been discovering. Right. And recognizing that. Wait a second. If you pull back, like, you know, the kind of the neurobiology of OCD brain and kind of what's happening there, plus your environmental factors, you put it together and you realize, wait a second, a person can experience ocd? Really, if you think about it with any topic, it's not really, it's not topic specific per se. There are more topics that are more common, but at least from what I see historically, if we look at whatever's going on at that time, and if there's something, let's say, culturally, you know, big topic point of discussion, that also seems to be something the OCD brain will latch onto. So I think it's more relevant to learn to understand how an OCD brain works so that you, as you've said, right, learn to step away and recognize it's really not personal and it's not, it's not some big commentary about your sense of self and what you actually care about and who you actually are. Though, because of this profound doubt that you have because of OCD brain, you do end up doing things sometimes that either really repetitive or you might be doing testing behaviors that can in fact sometimes put you harm's way, or you might sometimes turn to things like substances as a coping mechanism because you just don't know what else to do. It's just so intense and it's such an internal experience. How do you even begin to explain it? So, you know, yeah, I think it's great that you've. You've got a resource you're putting together or put together already that's coming out. And for folks who want to know when it's coming out, when is it dropping?
- [09:33]
C
So it's actually going to come out during OCD Awareness week, which I thought was a nice little marriage since it is about OCD awareness. So it's coming out October 14th. I'm self publishing through Amazon. So it'll be available on Amazon.com then. And yeah, I'm sending it out right now to some advanced readers to hopefully get some good feedback before putting it out. But yeah, October 14th it'll be out for everyone to get their hands on. So I'm really excited.
- [10:00]
B
That's awesome. And so, okay, if people are going to get this, what is your personal hope? Like, what do you want folks to get out of this?
- [10:09]
C
Really?
- [10:09]
B
Like, what's the biggest benefit that they're going to get?
- [10:13]
C
I think understanding OCD at a human level is really the biggest takeaway I want people to have from this book. I originally was just gonna list out, you know, a bunch of myths and then bust them with facts. And I do that too. There's a lot of like research that went into this and stuff, but I noticed there was definitely like a human element missing. And OCD is so such a human experience, right? Like it is so a part of our everyday second to second, moment to moment experience that I felt like if I didn't include more of not only my own personal story, but also the story of other survivors and just the myriad of diverse, different ways it could show up, it wouldn't represent the authentic experience of ocd. So I think the biggest thing is seeing OCD in a really human, realistic, tangible way and getting, you know, not only the facts and figures and the numbers and the research and statistics, but also like this is how it affects people, people, this is how it has affected people, this is how it continues to affect people. And it's not this casual thing, it's actually very serious and it has a great deal of, you know, drain and negative impact on people's day to day lives. But also it's a story of recovery and hope. I, you know, I very much hope that it is a story of feeling like there's some, there's some hope at the end of the day for recovery because there is, I include a myth about, you know, people with OCD will suffer for the rest of their lives. Right. Like we know that's not true, but historically it has been seen as a difficult disorder to treat and it is, but it's actually one of the most treatable disorders as well. So, you know, a lot of the people that I spoke to and that I include in the book also are talking about their recovery stories as well and how, you know, they suffered for so long just like I did and probably you did too. But once they got the right treatment, the right evidence backed treatment, they were able to, you know, still obviously get affected by ocd, but live fulfilling, beautiful, complicated, complex lives and use these tools to be able to do that. So I think the two main takeaways would be, you know, how OCD really manifests truly in a human sense. And then also that if it is something that you're suffering with, if it is something where you're like, do I have it? Do I not like there is hope and recovery available for you out there. There are those amazing evidence backed treatments that can help us all. So I hope that it's a story of that as well.
- [12:51]
B
Yeah. So two things. I first of all love that it's not just all data. Not that I don't like data, but I'm also somebody who I think it's important to remember it is our own personal experiences. So that human connection and that, you know, that resonates. It's that, right? It's hearing other stories, it's being able to look at the pages and be like, oh yes, like that's me.
- [13:11]
C
Right?
- [13:11]
B
We don't look at that and go, oh, that's me. Right. Dad is relevant but also in the day to day and kind of for, for the any kind of person. I don't know that we're all looking at that versus at, you know, something that's, you know, story that again, like I said, that resonates. So I totally love that you did that. I do want to ask you a question about what you just said, which is recovery is possible. Right. I mean, I know you know that, I know that. But I hold in my mind, you know, folks who sit out there and they're like, yeah, that's great. And I hear those for other people, but I don't see it how that can happen for me or things like, well, I hear that, you know, it's a condition you can manage, but you can never really treat it. And I want to be rid of it. It, I want it to be gone. Can you give us like a little teaser of, you know, how do you address that or, or what from the book might be something that speaks to that.
- [14:06]
C
Yeah. So I think what I talk about in the book is a lot of sort of like I was saying, my own experience, other people's experience, but also like what the actual mechanisms are that promote recovery. Right. So not just like hey, erp, act, go do them. It's like, it's really explaining what are the mechanisms of change going on here. And I think that's so important. That like piece of psychoeducation because people don't actually understand if you don't understand like what's actually happened. Like you were saying the OCD brain, if you don't understand it, you can't really address it. So what I go into and explain is, you know, the OCD cycle, right, that we're all familiar with, where we have an obsessive thought and then our brain reacts with some emotion. Doesn't have to be anxiety, it typically is anxiety, but it can also be disgust, guilt, shame, things like that. And then we do everything possible to get rid of it, right? We do short term coping mechanisms, whether that be the traditional compulsions. It can be anything, as simple as overthinking about something and ruminating, right? We just want to get rid of that feeling. And then by doing that, we're saying to our brains, this is dangerous because I did everything I could to get rid of it. So therefore I'm signaling this is a dangerous thought. This is something that needs to be gotten rid of. And then our brain just becomes more reactive in the future, right? So if we can address that underlying mechanism with things like ERP and ACT and ICBT as well, I include a whole big sort of section about all the different treatment options. If we can address that cycle, whether it be on the exposure side with ERP or more on the inference and reasoning side with icbt. If we can address that cycle and say, hey, you know, I'm going to either, if it's, you know, with more of the exposure route, face my fear head on in a way that is not resistant to discomfort, but is actually accepting of that discomfort and that anxiety. My brain will learn that this is no longer something to be afraid of. Or if you want to go down the ICBT route, you know, it's more around the faulty inferences that we make to begin with that inform the, the sort of story that we need to do. Compulsions in order to feel. Okay, right? So with, with whatever way you're targeting your ocd, you are addressing that main cycle. And I explain that in the book because I think it's so important for people to understand what's actually going on here. And like what are the actual mechanisms of change that encourage our brains to actually change and rewire and that is recovery. You know, you see it in some videos I see online where they actually show our brains being rewired. That's real, that's physical, right? That's not just like this hoity toity, like woo woo thing. That's a real biological process and it's been proven that these, you know, different treatment mechanisms actually do that. They rewire our brains. So I feel like when you look at it through that perspective of like, here's a brain, here's the processes going on and then here's how we're actually targeting these things. And like, this is what happens when you do. Your brain actually rewires itself. It's very plastic and it learns new things and it learns new information and it lets you live your life. It doesn't let you be free from ocd. And I think that's such like a, a difficult concept to kind of hold at the same time. Right. Like ocd. Sure. Will it always be there? Will you always have some form of intrusive thoughts? Do I still get intrusive thoughts on a day to day basis? Of course. But now I can live my life even with those thoughts and some of that anxiety still there. And I think that's such an important shift to go from how do I get rid of this to how do I live my life the way I want to live my life, even with these things present. So I think that's kind of the shift that I would like to see people take away from the book is like, these things might still be there, but with these tools and these really, you know, very evidence backed methods and techniques, I can live a life that's aligned with my values. That is what I want. Regardless of if OCD is showing up or not.
- [18:22]
B
Yeah. I mean, you're talking about making space, right? Making, especially with some of the modalities, it's really making space for uncomfortable experiences. And I mean, we can venture to say that in life we have discomfort, we have days that are not great.
- [18:37]
C
Right.
- [18:38]
B
It's not like every single day is amazing and awesome until something happens to you. It's natural that as a human experience is that, you know, our days are different. Right. And for whatever reason, you can wake up and be stressed out or something's heavily on your mind and it doesn't have to be always ocd. So I hear that in this as well. And you know, and thanks and I appreciate you including inference based cbt because I think that model also, you know, really addresses OCD from a different angle because it targets interventional confusion, which is, how did you even conclude that, you know, you could be this terrible, horrible person that's potentially going to do all these terrible, horrible things like where is that really coming from? Right. To really help you also connect to what are you actually doing? Who are you actually in your day? To day life. Because OCD is so consuming and internal that we literally disconnect and discount all these everyday experiences that have so much information, but we literally just take it completely for granted. We stop paying attention to it because this other thing kind of grabs us so powerfully that it's like you can't even think about anything else. So I mean, I love that you include that in your, in your book and that you're really. Sounds like really kind of went in there and showed through research, through personal stories, through, through your own experience and the different modalities. Like, look, it is possible to. But like everything in life, it does require, you know, people to participate in that. Right? Just like OCD requires your participation. Well, so does getting out of that cycle. Right? So this isn't like, you know, I read something or I do one modality, poof, I'm magically, everything's done. It's, it's understanding, you know, your role and where you actually have some autonomy and, and some empowerment here to actually do something different about this that can change the experience.
- [20:24]
C
I think it's so. I love that you said the word empowering because I've never felt more empowered than in my OCD recovery. Honestly, like once you sort of pass that hump, I feel like, of getting diagnosed and then starting treatment and then you start to see the way it can impact your life. Like I was saying before, it doesn't just become about OCD anymore. It becomes about just living the best life you can possibly live, no matter what shows up. Right. And that doesn't just have to be like OCD traditionally, like you were saying, it can be just day to day difficulties and discomfort. And I think the really cool thing, not that I'm saying like, oh, it's good to have OCD or anything, but like the really cool thing about learning these concepts and knowing them and having them in your toolbox is you can then apply them not just to your traditional diagnosable ocd, but to your day to day life and your day to day struggles. Like the other day I went surfing. I live in Hawaii now, which is cool. And I went surfing. Yeah, it's been amazing. And I went surfing and I, you know, I'm not in the greatest shape right now. And I was really getting down on myself and thinking like, I don't want to do this, I don't want to go out there, like, it's going to be too hard. And I was like, you know what I noticed I'm having the thought that I don't want to do this, but surfing right now is aligned with my values and I choose not to engage with that. And it was as simple as that, you know, and that's a skill I learned through OCD recovery. This had absolutely nothing to do with my ocd. This was my own, like, feeling feelings of self esteem and discomfort because of the shape that I'm in, you know, physical fitness wise. But it's still applied and it applies across the board. And I feel like that's what's so powerful about people that have OCD and then have recovered is like, we now have these, like, amazing skills that we can apply across so many different domains of life. Besides just rocd.
- [22:10]
B
Oh, my God, I. I cannot agree with you more. I mean, personally, I've been open about it, but I lost my mom. What is it now? A year and a couple of months ago, you know, and of course there's that, you know, initial grief, et cetera. But I found myself. There was a moment where I'm like, well, there's no other way to do this. Then I gotta just like go. And in many ways, that came from erp, which is like, you know, it's gonna hurt, I'm gonna cry, but I, like, I'm gonna just lean into it and let it. Let it come. And if whatever breakdown I need to have, I'll have it. But I know that if I do it this way, I'll come out on the other side sooner. And so, like, that was an ERP skill set in that moment, you know, that. That had nothing to do with ocd, but it had everything to do with like, okay, I gotta dive into her stuff and process everything and what I keep, what I'm tossing, right? And like, that was the thing I didn't want to do. But again, because of knowing the ERP kind of concepts. Right. Recognizing that, yeah, if you. If you lean into it a little bit sooner on the front end, it might be a little bit. Not a little bit. It's uncomfortable, but because of experience. I know, I know that that initial discomfort, if I just let it come through, it will ease up and everything will become a little bit better in the long term. So a totally second everything you just said, I mean, I think that's a beautiful point. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing everything. And so, you know, if folks would like to find you, how can they find you?
- [23:41]
C
Yeah, so I'm at OCD or just me on Instagram, so it's ocd.orgjust.me so OCD or just me with dots in between. And then you can also I recently relaunched my website so it's OCD or just me dot com. I don't have like the Amazon link yet for my book, but I will have it on that website. So if anyone's interested after October 14th they can go to OCD or just me.com and they'll be able to find the link to the book there for OCD exposed. So yeah, I really appreciate you having me on again. This was great.
- [24:14]
B
Awesome. Yes. Thank you so much. And for folks, if you're here today, please remember that if you like this content, hit like and subscribe and turn that notification bell on. Thanks so much for being here.
- [24:26]
A
Thanks for listening to the OCD Whisperer podcast. Remember, freedom from OCD is a journey and you're not alone. Visit www.coraresults.com to explore self help masterclasses like Sneaky Rituals with Jenna Overbaugh or ICBT Masterclass with Christina and Abe. Don't forget to grab your OCD CBT journal tracker and planner while you're there. If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, share and leave a five star review to help others find the podcast. Together we can make a difference. Keep going and I'll see you in the next episode.